Why Do KINGS & QUEENS SLEEP in Separate Bedrooms?

[@gerardacronin334]

Here are my theories. 1. Historically, Royal marriages were political alliances. To some extent they still are. Other than for the purpose of procreation, bedtime was not associated with affectionate snuggling. If they wanted meaningful sexual relationships, they got them outside the marriage. Having separate bedrooms made extramarital dalliances much more convenient. 2. They have plenty of bedrooms, so why not? 3. Privacy, snoring avoidance, separate schedules, separate servants and hangers on coming and going. At Versailles, being allowed to watch the King or the Queen getting dressed in the morning was a privilege accorded to those with the most influence. (It sounds like a nightmare).

[@DH007-w2d]

Bonjour. You are right about those who could or had to be at the Royal's side when they got up and got prepared. There were two "levers" and two "couchers", le Petit and le Grand. Depending on your rank at court you could hold the King's broom or give her "chemise" to the Queen...

[@LoveVanillaRose]

100 %

[@raymonddavis1370]

And YET in certain times in English history there were instances where An Audience while the king and Queen had relations was required (look it up)

[@acfatemi]

@@raymonddavis1370 😂to ensure the consumation of marriage and legitimacy of children. Gypsies (some groups) still have old ladies watching the first intercourse of the newly weds; control that the bride is a virgin and also that they are really together and not living a Joseph-marriage. In the muslim harems all intercourse was recorded in some kind of registry as well as menstruation. If any of the women got pregnant out of reasonable calculated schedule, she was simply and swiftly killed

[@findingbeautyinthepain8965]

Queens also had an audience while they gave birth. I believe Queen Victoria put a stop to it. It sounds quite brutal!

[@thompuckett9547]

Separate rooms, especially if spaced far apart, would make it more difficult for an assassin to kill both the king and queen. They may get to one but hopefully the staff would be alerted by the intruder and prevent the second attempt.

[@BewitchedBeckatha]

This was my theory!

[@libertydawn178]

I have thought the same idea as Thom Puckett have mentioned!

[@patparada44]

Or maybe to protect the King from being assassin by the Queen… lol snoring can drive a person crazy 😜

[@ladybarbarapinsonartist431]

My Scottish historian friends give the reason of family safety with the king's chamber even further within the castle than the queen's chamber.

[@SidnacGlitz]

Very smart I was thinking something along those lines like if the castle was ever invaded....

[@newnormal1841]

1.) Assassinations 2.) Large retinues 3.) Work hours 4.) Extra marital affairs 5.) They can 6.) Separate lives 7.) Idiosyncracies - hygiene snoring, bed blanket hog, smells - menses, body odor Henry viii-open wounds, sores Bugs - lice, crabs, scabies std 7.) Convenience 8.) Closet space - dressing 9.) Privacy 10.) They can afford it. 🤺💐

[@lechatel]

i love my husband of 40 years very much. i also love being able to have a night undisturbed by snores, fidgets, snorts and odd puffs and wheezes. I am amazed that people conflate the idea of separate beds with lack of love in a marriage.

[@juancarlosmontes]

I agree. It's luxurious to sprawl out unfettered and unbothered for as long as you wish.

[@Anne-pv9cb]

Same here.

[@skontheroad]

Agreed! Yet when he us away in a trip and out of the house, I never sleep well! Down the hall is close enough for me (on the regular!).

[@sandrapeele7965]

And then many families both spouses work and may work different shifts also when there are children they can disturb your sleep they're all kinds of legitimate reasons people do not sleep together.

[@jeanniejones2084]

Janet, I agree. Married for 30 years and some night when I need a good nights sleep, I will sleep in the guest room.

[@SM-ke6jq]

To answer your question, perhaps one could ask why it is that couples began sleeping in the same bed. I've heard it all came down to economics. Having separate bedrooms for both the man and the woman generally means larger homes which is something only the wealthy could afford. So if you could afford it, why not? Remember not to conflate intimacy with sleeping. They are two separate things.

[@raymonddavis1370]

Are we going to pretend that sleeping (not sex) with your partner and spending the night embracing is romantic AND intimate.

[@Sorchia56]

Exactly!!! This sharing thing is bizarre to me! Not the way I was raised. Husband was raised completely opposite of me so we had to compromise somehow. I do have my own room though. Sometimes the huge bed we have just won’t work, especially if he’s snoring!!

[@skontheroad]

Very clever comment!!

[@sarasharpe6202]

In a separate comment related to antique English beds, when I visited Anne Hathaway's home years ago, I learned that the canopies over beds were developed because their cottages' thatched ceilings usually had bugs and sometimes even birds living in them. The canopies kept droppings off the folks sleeping below. And in the aforementioned drafty stone castles, the romantic velvet curtains surrounding the beds kept the warmth in. Both practical solutions to ensure the best night sleep possible.

[@skontheroad]

Anne Hathaway???? 😆 🤣 😂

[@sarasharpe6202]

@@skontheroad Yes, Anne Hathaway the wife of Shakespeare.

[@HappyLife693]

@@skontheroad You just couldn't resist, could you? 😂

[@GraySky518]

I think the idea of sleeping in separate beds and/or bedrooms came from the middle ages. Poor people slept together in beds because they could not afford the luxury of separate beds or bedrooms. So it’s a sign of your status to sleep alone in a bed. There also was an issue with transmission of body lice and illness. I also have a theory that it may have been also for safety reasons. Possibly by keeping a royal couple separated the likelihood of both being assassinated in their sleep was reduced. Also, marriages were often political alliances not love. Who wants to sleep with someone you may loathe? Interesting topic!

[@AnnAndNala]

I think separate bedrooms is ideal! Sounder sleep, independence, and peace! One can always bring romance and visit the other bedroom. Didn't the shared bedroom come about based on the average citizen and the affordability of smaller homes? I think separate is the healthiest option on so many levels!

[@spoosieoopsie1616]

My dad could wake the dead with his snoring!! After almost 20 years of broken sleep or no sleep, poor Mom had had enough! When my sister and I left home, my dad moved into my sister's old room. I came home to visit several times but she lived over 1,500 miles away and never visited. Dad never lost his new room!

[@Monocatt]

Yes!!

[@michaelmontagu3979]

It is healthy. It's also good for putting fun into a relationship. 'Your room or mine?) 😉

[@doig18]

Yes! My husband and I have been married over 20 years. We tried sleeping in the same bed a few times but ultimately found we worked better sleeping apart. We make time to “visit” one another but then sleep separate. It’s heaven!!

[@jolynnaerobert3190]

@@doig18 My husband and I have been married 43 years and we sleep in separate bedrooms. We tried sleeping together for years because we thought we were supposed to. When the kids were all gone I decided I had had enough of the snoring, farting, tossing and turning and moved into one of the now empty bedrooms. should have done that when the first child left!

[@dottykennedy3086]

Also many Kings held court in the bed chamber where multiple people would carry favor by assisting him with their morning routine including going to the toilet. No woman wants to be there for that!

[@Lili-xq9sn]

Lol

[@SN-sz7kw]

We went the separate bedroom route by default a few years after becoming parents. Being desperate for sleep is a great motivator. Kids are almost out of the house and we still love our independent spaces - makes the relationship stronger. 😂

[@donnabradshaw5200]

I agree. When I was married, my husband could suck the drapes off the windows with all the snoring. If people wanted to function on a daily basis, you need to be rested. I'm going to be a lot happier if I got to sleep the night before.

[@LJB103]

My parents changed over to separate bedrooms after my father broke his back. He needed not only an extra firm mattress, but also a board between the mattress and springs. You could sink into my mother's soft mattress

[@margyrowland]

As a married woman I really enjoy having my own bedroom because I can totally relax in the environment I’ve created for myself.

[@foreveryoung999]

ME TOO

[@BlackCoffeeee]

Oh you're so lucky! I would love that 😊

[@922Terry]

Me too! Better sleep, no or fewer interruptions,

[@supernova7848]

Same!

[@user-ke8st8jc1v]

The real truth is because you’re all sick of your husbands

[@ElAvionLoco]

I read a book form professor of history, and he claimed that one of the reasons are health, and that time the idea of sleeping with someone all night breathing the same air, sometimes coughing, sometimes skin to skin on the same bed all those ideas are considered unhealthy, it was really until the 20th century with a modern medicine studies that couples start to sleep together in the same bed.

[@RitaBaumann]

Historians say the practice was also to protect the King and Queen as would be assassins would not know in which bedroom the they were in. King Edward the IV was actually saved from a would-be killer because he spent the night with his Queen.

[@LoveVanillaRose]

Because their marriages are not about love. Their marriages are about maintaining bloodline dominance and power.

[@lechatel]

I fail to see what 'love' has got to do with getting a good night's sleep without being disturbed.

[@pneron2032]

@@lechatel Hahaha

[@raymonddavis1370]

@@lechatel When you were young did you not feel emotion when embracing or laying with your head on someone's chest, or did you "avoid someone crowding you and not having a pillow?' Are you now too old to remember such things? I remember but then again I am only 65.

[@lechatel]

@@raymonddavis1370 Clearly you have lost your marbles or never got past the love-sick teenager stage. (If you are going to be gratuitously rude to me then expect some back.) I have no desire to 'feel emotion' when I want to get some rest. I have lots of time to 'feel emotion' and lay my head on my partner's chest without doing it when I need my sleep and he needs his.

[@Grace-tc1lq]

@@lechatel I think that’s unfair to say that. If separate bedrooms work better for you, fine, if some want to share a bed, fine......why does one have to be right and the other one wrong? We are all different and show it by our differing opinions every day. I don’t understand why this is causing arguments......to each his/her own. It’s not even our business how someone else chooses to sleep, with or without their partner...doesn’t that feel intrusive? Of course it is.

[@kbal1451]

Silk isn't directly from Mulberry leaves, it's from the cocoons of silkworms that eat mulberry leaves. As kids we raised a few of them. It takes an awful lot of silk worms to produce enough for a ream of silk. A hundred kilograms of mulberry leaves yields 25 silkworm cocoons. It takes 5,500 silkworms to produce 1 kilogram (2.2 lbs) of raw silk. I think it could be argued that cotton is less resource intensive.

[@anjalisuzanneangel238]

And more humane.

[@spinstercatlady]

My grandparents slept in separate bedrooms all their married lives bc my grandpa snored and moved about and my Nan wasn't about all that lol. I'm not sure why royalty chose separate bedrooms, but it was a smart move imo haha!

[@todd755]

Please remember that marriage esp among aristocrats was a merger of fortunes to assure the next generation. It was NOT for love. The idea of love is actually a Victorian invention. Since the Middle Ages, love was always described outside of marriage a la Andreas Capellanus. Married couples had to produce two unquestioned heirs but then it was and is understood that each party can pursue real love outside of marriage discreetly. Examples are numerous.

[@gingerninjawhinger9986]

Having separate bedrooms probably boils down to the fact that both the King and the Queen each had their own large retinue who helped them to dress and undress each day. We must also remember that the King and Queen were usually dressed and undressed while receiving Audiences, so a shared bedroom would quickly have become overcrowded and chaotic and the theatre of it all would be lost. As for the four-poster beds and the silk bedsheets: the four-poster beds used to have curtains, which you could pull around the bed to keep out the chill in winter (and also to give privacy in the more intimate times of the marriage); the beds were probably dressed in silk because silk =wealth; to show a guest to a bedroom where the bedsheets and pillow cases are of silk lets the guest know in no uncertain terms just how wealthy you are.

[@skontheroad]

Audiences were only in France, during their Toilette. A public event, made a rule during King Louis' reign at Versailles.

[@MD11339]

Well I love the idea of separate bedrooms. It is practical and allows for a great sleep, not to mention privacy! I am all for it! Great vlog!

[@ladybarbarapinsonartist431]

It is a matter of privilege. Poor families were forced to have multiple family members in the same bed for both warmth and for lack of other beds. If you recall William Shakespeare's wife brought to their marriage the gift of a bed, which was considered a luxury item.

[@leenam.4578]

FYI: Silk is a fabric; satin is a finish. Satin is one of several finishes for silk. In the past, most satin would have been made of silk. Some cotton finishes are satin, but will never be as smooth as silk. Today, a great deal of "satin" is made from polyester.

[@zipinha]

Thank you!

[@suezeezwart8460]

She's talking about ethical silk but has omitted that silkworms actually spin the silk and as a result of the making of silk they die

[@Sorchia56]

Satin sheets are wretched!! The pillow slides off the bed constantly! No sleep to be had on those.

[@leenam.4578]

@Sorchia Ireland All my pillow cases (only) are 22 momme silk, with satin finish but not the sheets themselves. It would be quite an extravagance, and I am not a Sultana in the Ottoman Empire. I find them great for my skin and hair. And I recommend zippered cases. Otherwise, yes, the if you are an active sleeper, the pillow may shoot of the case like toothpaste out of its tube. Inexpensive satin finished polyester sheets are a nightmare, years ago, I spent a sleepless night spinning around in a bed made up with them.

[@Sorchia56]

@@leenam.4578 Your ‘shoot out like toothpaste from the tube’ had me roaring with laughter until tears were forming! And the addition of ‘I’m not a Sultana’ had me buckled! 😂😂😂 Absolutely brilliant analogy and spot on! You’ve made my Monday complete. You are officially invited to all gatherings, you’re far too much fun to not be around!

[@amethystanne4586]

Loved the advertisement for Lilysilk. Well done!

[@davey2363]

A huge sign of wealth and status not to have to share a bed. Well off sorts in the 16th and 17th centuries when stopping overnight at an inn usually shared, not just a room, but a bed too, with a complete stranger…..Pepys diaries of the 1660’s as a point of reference.

[@KNYD]

They married for status, money and power not for love and they could afford separate rooms. If you go further back in time when Europe consisted of many small kingdoms was scattered with many fortresses and castles, kings and queens slept in the same room with their children. They just needed to produce an heir or two and after that they were free to pursue their private relationships.

[@kitty6720]

I think it's funny that you were referring to the Crown for the historical accuracy. It's one of the things ("historical accuracy") that so many people criticize it for.

[@bcase5328]

Also, the Royal bedrooms were historically full of staff, staff and advisors; Royal bedrooms were part office (of the rank). Royal privacy is a modern development.

[@longwaytotipperary]

I read a lot of comments and the one that stands out most to me is the idea that each person had a bunch of people who attended to their needs - having separate bedrooms would make it easier for the teams to come and go without the interference of the other team. Julie is a natural in front of the camera!

[@pneron2032]

Yes, and men and women lived very different lives then. You can't dress with your maids and attendants with your husband and his attendants gawking at you.

[@elizabethlerch6145]

P pp

[@ryanm7171]

In addition to your reasons, I would add the practical reason that both the King and Queen had a large number of personal servants each to attend to them. I'm also guessing they each had different taste in decor and each had a massive wardrobe of clothes and belongings making two large separate necessary just to fit everything in.

[@ovh992]

Remember that separate beds were not just for kings and queens. A lot of the upper classes had the same arrangement The reasons were numerous. It was also the opposite of the lower classes where the whole family could sleep in one bed as could a few farm animals, livestock.

[@cassandraelliot7878]

Having separate bedroom was a sign of wealth. Meetings occurred in royal bedrooms. Call Lucy Worsley at Hampton Court, she can tell you.

[@marileestetson737]

Ok, so here's my theory from all the bits and pieces I've learned. Back in the early years when everyone slept and ate in the great hall, there came a time when the leader would have separate accommodations for the family. Personal space began. It came to pass that the more rooms you had, the more wealth in appearance. Kings would probably spend all hours with his business at hand, with a separate bedroom, the queen could sleep undisturbed. Therefore the King was free with his time.

[@karenstanislaw8912]

Thinking, maybe , this is a formality and logistics issue. Each monarch had/has tremendous staff, tremendous goings on/services throughout the day. Separate quarters may have been the only way to avoid chaos, servants bumping into the other, etc. ??

[@maryannchaisson6742]

Hey Julie, back in Tudor times , even the men wore Nightgowns and night caps. PJ’s are quite a modern invention. FYI. Enjoy your videos and the ones on Mapperton with Luke! 🇨🇦🇨🇦👏👏👏🌹

[@karenstanislaw8912]

Given the option, I think *most people would love a little autonomy. Who said, "The key to a successful marriage is separate bathrooms." (?) Having said this, I'm sure, on the other hand, they'll be a particular factor in the Royal lay out that made this ritual. Looking forward-

[@milliesanchez1335]

I think your theory about mistresses is valid. The Queen May have known what was going on but didn’t want to share the bed! Thanks.

[@JenningsCraftsBoutique]

I read somewhere in a some Royal book, that since the Queen or King whichever the case may be (the most important of the two), worked long hours, like our Queen does today and therefore didn't want to disturb their other half. Plus of course with having other partners on the go, they needed separate beds anyway. I thought Americans as well as us Brits in years gone by also had separate beds but in the same room... Well they did in the movies lol and I clearly remember my grandparents having separate beds in the same room for many years, until they got older and then they had separate rooms once they'd reached a certain age so as not to disturb each other as my Grandmother was always the last to one to bed! :0)

[@lauravalentine9488]

My grandparents had separate bedrooms, but then they detested one another, but divorce was out of the question.

[@CraftyMunchQuinn]

I read a while ago that in movies they had separate beds because it was considered inappropriate to show a man and woman in a bed together. You could have a very wholesome movie, but if you showed the husband and wife in the same bed, it would be the same as an R-rated movie.

[@L_lechant]

I don’t come remotely from aristocracy but my grandparents had separate bedrooms and I got to sleep with my grandma when I was a little girl. Their bedrooms were in the opposite side of the house. I think that was just the way things were back then. They had 5 children. So, they got together once in a while :)

[@JenningsCraftsBoutique]

@@L_lechant Yes, I remember when I was 3 to about 10, I slept with my grandmother when I was there on holiday. My grandparents only had one child, my late father! but it was fun to snuggle behind my grandmother, I remember how warm and cosy I felt covered with soft wool blankets and warm sheets, as back home we shared beds with several siblings and had old fashioned grey prickly blankets, cold cottons sheets and sometimes if it was really cold, we'd use our coats as covers as well lol

[@marybarratt2649]

I gather that recently it has been proven that sleeping with a partner is better for your health all round. Not sure someone suffering a snorer would agree with that, but apparently we are better for being close to someone. Im certain there are many women out there suffering night flushes who would long to have their own room. Thank you for a very interesting video. Always a joy to watch and listen. Blessings.

[@redflamearrow7113]

It sounds like that 'study' must have been done by men.

[@victoriaann9942]

I'm just a commoner and we sleep in separate rooms. We get much better sleep, decor and furnishings are personal, and we enjoy our privacy. Very devoted, while enjoying our own space.

[@Grace-tc1lq]

To each his own. Neither is right or wrong......whatever works for you and your partner is the right decision. 👍

[@DineeGal]

Your insight and pure honesty is fabulous!

[@samanthaporter6662]

I would like a separate bathroom/ shower/ closet, but I like sleeping next to my hubby!!

[@SweetOne.]

There could have been a common sitting room between the separate bedrooms sometimes 2 sitting rooms a his and hers where the couple would meet and decide if one should join the other and in whose room, often a note/invite would be left in said sitting room if more that one sitting room/area were availed. My Father told me his parents had separate rooms as Ladies needed their privacy for feminine reasons and would stay in bed in their rooms during their time of menses and during child birth, a bath could be taken in either the bed chamber or the sitting room depending on where a fire was available (hearth). Grandma's house had ringers on the walls and bells in the kitchen, Dad used to pull the ringers to make the housekeeper come to tease her. That would have been in the mid 1920's (Dad was born 1919 the youngest of 9) He passed at 94. He grew up with the old rules of Gentry and passed it on to me as best he could - I see how so much was lost with the wars and technology, yet at the same time so much gained.. It's hard to find a balance betwixt the two when our romantic hearts are pulled to history, to who we are and where we came from. You are lucky to have such a wonderful library with relatives diaries, cost books, accounts and more. All of our stuff is now on computer and lap top.. we need to make sure our stuff is there for future generations to romance and learn. Thank you so much for sharing your life, your home(s) and your questions.

[@lepolhart3242]

Did you grow up in a large upper class home? I cringe at shows like Downton Abbey which are pure trash when it comes to historical accuracy. Servants were usually treated much worse than as portrayed in period dramas as the Grantham family are too kind to be realistic. I've heard shocking stories about how hard the reality of life was at that time.

[@marlaharmon]

I’m not sure if these are accurate, but I have heard of two reasons. One was similar to how you do not go to breakfast in your PJ’s. They most likely didn’t want the spouse to see you without being dressed. The second, and most likely reason of the two that I have heard before is that the queen had a ‘woman of the bed chamber’ that came to her room each day to help her get dressed/undressed because of her corset, multiple layers of clothing, the extensive number of buttons, fixing her hair, etc. That would have been inconvenient for both the king and queen each morning and evening.

[@creditrepairwizards]

Throughout history most royal subjects lived one entire family to a single room. Royals having their own bed and bedroom was a display of wealth and power .

[@Zan_Chris]

Is it possible that they slept in separate bedrooms …. Simply because they could? Seems like a luxury during that period to have space away from others while the poor pretty much all slept in the same space.

[@DH007-w2d]

Agree. There were times where whole families and guests would sleep in the same beds. Being able to afford privacy was (and is) a luxury.

[@ah5721]

Its a middle income victorian ideal and the most wealthy can afford to have many separate bedroom's , many poor people shared a room.

[@LS-qw3ez]

I wonder if it also had something to do with servants being in the bedrooms. There would be lady’s maids and butlers and valets around, and it would probably be considered indecent for the sexes to mix when dressing and grooming.

[@ArtsyCupcake]

That’s what I was thinking too!

[@Nightbird1914]

I had that thought as well.

[@RareSeldas]

I think a major reason why is simply that they lived very busy separate life styles and always sharing a bed would be inconvenient.

[@emmabh2166]

Different people and different sleep patterns, back then also, ‘sleep tight’ was to do with the tightening of the springs or something, maybe wanting different mattresses/ comfort could be another contender.

[@rebeccaanderson5191]

As a lady of a certain age I point out that your Tudor bed is essentially a "full size mattress" bed which all adults slept in, including couples, until probably the 1960s (first I remember hearing of a "king size" or "queen size" bed). The only other option was twin for singles or children. So your Tudor bed looks typical, although there is a huge four-poster at the V&A that held 8 people and probably came from an inn where travelers were expected to sleep piled in with other travelers in one bed or on the floor.

[@renaenolen8461]

the Tudor bed looked more of a 3/4 size bed. Our first 6 years of marriage was in a full size before trading up to queen. When first married, being cozy is nice😉. After awhile, especially when one or both snores😵 , bigger beds, separate rooms, CPAP☺.

[@pneron2032]

@@renaenolen8461 Tudors were smaller than us

[@ah5721]

@@pneron2032 true men generally only reached 5'8" and women generally were 4'10- 5'

[@TexasHomesteaders]

Yep. Most of them barely tollerated each other with all of those arranged marriages. You can't invite a mistress in with the Queen sleeping next to you.

[@teresafritschi6332]

Julie, Satin and velvet are types of fabrics (just as georgette and crepe de Chine) which were traditionally made of silk, but velvet can be made of cotton and linen.

[@rebekahlow8375]

I love learning why and how people have done things throughout history. I really enjoyed this video a lot!! Love from Vermont

[@A2D4]

You are so lucky to live in Vermont - remarkable beauty and history combined. Once while standing in a line at a store in Vermont, I got to talking with a young lady behind me. I asked her if she realized or appreciated how beautiful it is and she said, “only when I leave and go somewhere else”. Which says it all- not many places compare! Love from the West! 😊

[@4gma59]

I grew up in North Dakota, and if you visit the home of Medora de Vallombrosa and the Marquise de Morès in Medora, ND, you'll notice they also had separate bedrooms. (Mid-1800s).

[@katieface86]

I know several couples who sleep separately and they are very strong couples. My grandparents started sleeping apartment because my grandfather snored very loudly. They were married for almost 60 years before my grandfather died.

[@JFCotman]

I’m here because Cam Diaz recently suggested couples sleep separately Man I’ve learned a lot! Anyway, I agree with the comments consensus that the gender specificity of their needs drove the King and Queen to have separate bedrooms The king wouldn’t want to be near the Queen during her menstrual cycle. She wouldn’t want her handmaids seeing the king half dressed

[@kathyolney4083]

An interesting subject which may or may not be for an era... everything seemed to favor all about men in that day. I saw a video which mentioned William and Catherine having each their own room (true or not IDK) but..I understood they both have such grueling schedules. As far as the idea that men had the visitors or live-ins, maybe the women should also have them, but then why the marriage. There was the time where women did not hold as much "worth" as a man. In the Renaissance era when women held land but no men in the family...a story that the Pope took over the land. Just one story. I'm sure there are more. I do enjoy your videos and subjects as most Americans are descendants of some family that lived in Europe, fought the mighty sea and landed here. Very well presented!!!🥂 Another thought provoking video!! 💫

[@ladydior-oo3gi]

I would love it if you do videos on how to live like queens in our daily life ... The routine .... How to manage the kingdom I looooive this personality ... The feminine queen 💐

[@nandelamere6882]

Gosh you married into history, I love the way you embraced your husband's inheritance and telling us about mapperton and it's aristocracy, I love history. Thanks,

[@noizeemama3697]

Married couples are choosing to sleep in separate rooms so that they can get better sleep. We're talking young sexually active couples that have kids. One somewhat famous couple decided to do this when she was pregnant with their second child. She was disturbing his sleep so much with having to get up to go to the bathroom and tossing and turning that they figured they would go back to sleeping together after the baby came. After the baby came they kept separate rooms because they took turns taking care of the infant. This way both of them didn't have to wake up for feedings, just whomever was designated for the night. Well, once it was time to go back to sharing a bed, they both agreed that they slept much better in separate beds, so they kept the separate bedrooms.

[@librariangal]

Also, kings conducted business from their bedchamber (hence, there was a servant dubbed.....royal bedchamber master). It wasn't a "private" room. It was more of a public space. Lucy Worsley spoke eloquently about that very thing in one of her episodes. So interesting Julie. Thanks so much!!!

[@russbear31]

I believe your last point might me closer to the truth... The royals and nobility 200+ years ago almost never married for love. (Marrying for love is actually a modern notion.) Frequently, their marriages were arranged by their fathers and they were forced to marry--and love had nothing to do with it. Marriages were nothing more than political peace treaties and alliances between families. A prime example was George IV, Queen Victoria's uncle. He was forced by his father (George III) to marry a German princess who he loathed. Yes, he produced the heir (Charlotte) and then he was absolutely done with his "wife." George then went on to have numerous mistresses and produced a large string of illegitimate children (like Charles II) with women he actually loved.

[@howardboyer9092]

Love your idea of employment for lady's in waiting so the Norman philosophy of a wife and a spare.

[@circesgrandmainomaha580]

I think having dalliances conveniently was a side effect of the reason for most royal and upper class marriages-political expediency. Having your own space to go to, especially if you have a spouse that you are bound to for life (which you may not even like, much less love), might be considered a godsend.

[@AndreaJSeverson]

In past centuries, royal marriages were financial and political transactions rather than love matches (probably why there were so many mistresses and other liasons). So separate bedrooms would have given the royal couple their own space to live their own lives outside of their royal duties. If I married a stranger I wouldn't want to have to share a bedroom with him lol. But also the private politics of the bedroom were also interesting. The king and queen would each have their own servants and attendants, this would have led to more than a dozen people in one room to get ready in the morning or evening if they shared a bedroom. I think also there would have been antiquated notions about the natural cycles a woman's body goes through and men not wanting to be a part of that or keeping their distance during certain times of the month or stages of a woman's pregnancy. As we got into more recent history, like the late 19th/early 20th century, relationships change (as did understanding of women's bodies lol) and marriages started to be made for better reasons than politics but the idea of the separate space remained out of tradition. I think even now, when a lot of royals have been able to marry for love, having separate or joined bedrooms can be helpful if they're keeping different schedules during a busy week, if someone is getting home late after traveling, they wouldn't have to disturb a spouse who has to get up early for an engagement. So there's some practical use to it even now. :)

[@genevievemurray7743]

Governing a country with different appointment times, deadlines and sleep needs would necessitate a separate room. The spouse also has royal duties. The royal sleeper used to have a night attendant sleeping in the room to assist toileting and refreshment as requested throughout the night. I imagine that time to make royal babies would need to be by appointment. I wonder if people know the bed become a snug little room in and of itself once the curtains are drawn.

[@cristinamz2137]

I think it was not just Kings and Queens. I'm Mexican and I can still remember my visiting my grandparents house and seeing that they slept in different rooms as well. My mother told me that she remembers he grandparents also sleeping in separate bedrooms. I truly think that the question should be when did we start sleeping in the same bed and room in the first place.

[@flibbertygibbette]

Definitely the mistresses were a major factor. But there are a number of other factors. Remember that from the earliest period, royal marriages were arranged ones, and husband and wife rarely knew each other prior to the marriage. Separate bedrooms allowed them to have separate spaces while they got to know each other, and while some kings and queens fell in love, many were basically business partners, in the business of producing an heir and building alliances between families, and not much more. They often led very separate lives, other than when required to be together. Also, a king's valet and other male servants had to be at hand at all times, with the valet often sleeping in the next room, and so having the queen sleeping in the same room with the king would expose her to men in inappropriate ways. Similarly, the queen often had her own staff sleeping in the next room so as to be at hand at all times, and I imagine the queen would not want to promote intimate contact between the king and her own staff, if you know what I mean, which would be necessary if the king and queen slept together. Yet another reason for this separation was likely to distinguish nobility from the common people. It was typical for not only spouses but entire families to sleep in the same room until fairly recently (as in, within the last 100 years). Separation into different sleeping chambers was a luxury and another way of flaunting status, with the number of bedrooms and expensive beds. So in short, lots of reasons to keep separate bedrooms. I imagine Charles and Camilla will have separate bedrooms as will Will and Kate eventually. Whether they use both bedrooms or not is another question, but they'll definitely have separate spaces for dressing and so forth.

[@lorahart56]

four posters were developed to keep the bugs from falling into the bed from the poorly insulated and constructed roofs, and to hang curtains which would hold heat in the bed area.

[@elisabeth6108]

As so many have mentioned, marriages were dynastic. The whole concept of marital love is Victorian. Separate rooms gave you all your options - periodic attempts to produce the required heir, togetherness if you actually did like each other, convenient to have dalliances, keep different hours and get a good nights sleep. Kings and queens would also conduct business in their state bedrooms during the day; it was a sign of the highest favorite to be granted an audience so deep into their private apartments.

[@maryannguess7115]

INCREDIBLE FABRICS back then..beautiful silks..great beds..enjoy ur day Julie♡

[@heidijay5902]

Separate bedrooms just make sense, especially if you have the wealth to do so (an extra room + bed in the house). I like my sleep & I like my own space, nothing more luxurious than having the option to sleep in a queen or king size bed all to yourself, especially if your spouse snores, talks in their sleep, hogs all the blankets or moves a lot. There’s a reason why sleep deprivation is such an effective form of torture, & it certainly does break up marriages… Having said that, how many royal marriages were for love? And how many were more about producing a legitimate heir (with the right bloodlines) & forming political alliances? I think kings & queens of the past would have appreciated any time away from each other.

[@rspen2142]

Kings were, in a sense, expected to have mistresses. They would go to his bed chamber. The queen's bed was where the king would go if he wanted to lie with the queen or he would summon her to his bed chamber. Other than that, the king's room was for whomever he chose.

[@susanmeredith4957]

That would be my theory too, because it was common for Kings to have affairs.

[@bjstewart3723]

I'm surprised they didn't live in separate castles. With all the "trysts" there was a strong chance of picking up a disease, nothing the queen would care to share, especially if she was pregnant. I do agree with your love of silk, my fav fabric as well. Love the slacks you wear in this video.

[@rdrydnghdwolfe1396]

Trysts = “trists” btw… I enjoy your presentations so much! Thank you.

[@rodneybourdeau8762]

New to your show. Enjoyed very much the personal stories and seeing the interiors. It would be less distracting if the lamp shades were straightened before filming. This is not abad remark just a positive hint from a compulsive lamp shade observer. Thanks I really enjoy your show.

[@leonstevens1382]

It’s hardly just royals! I know many happily married couples, who sleep in separate bedrooms.

[@lindagarey9709]

My grandparents always had separate bedrooms. Until they were way older. I was in actual shock when they slept in the same room and bed

[@meganhulatt6779]

If you want to be really gritty it was good contraception, plus it gave the men much freedom, you could control who came into the chamber, beds were also often part of the wedding dowry and were often left as part of the inheritance. So the woman would bring her own bed as her own assistants to dress and even an official bed warmer ( a lady's maid) usually an aristocratic women rather than a servent

[@juliemarriott7395]

Thank you for the intro to Lily Silk, I have just treated myself 😘

[@islandhome3]

LilySilk cashmere turtlenecks are heavenly.

[@trishkeller920]

I always believed more of your second theory, coupled with the fact that these were arranged marriages and probably only consummated to create an heir and not a lot of intimacy. But the size of that bed, you’ve got me on that one!

[@ah5721]

it cost more to make cloth for the beds . Now we have giant looms but back in the day most fabrics were not wider than 40" , plus the carving time to make they was all done by hand so they cost a lot of time, talent, and money to produce . The people were smaller too with most women no taller than 5'2" and men no larger than 5'8"

[@A.Martin]

Royalty and other Nobility also would have had many staff and stuff, so trying to cram 2 peoples staff and stuff in a single area of the palace would have been tight. Like around the Kings room would have been several servants rooms and rooms for clothes and other stuff. Also sitting rooms, Dressing rooms, everything else.

[@CaToRi-]

Like Thom said, is about security and also about convenience during indiscretions time. If they really wanted, they would request a big bed to be manufactured

[@juanitarichards1074]

Some were day beds kept in the presence chamber where are queen recently given birth could dress up in all her finery and receive visitors and their gifts while presenting the newborn. She wasn't allowed to leave her apartments for 40 days after giving birth but visitors could come to her and they had a special bed for this, unlike the one in her private bed chamber where she actually slept and received the king for nuptial visits.

[@lilly6766]

Love in Marriage is a very new idea. Not only the kings had affaires.

[@marlapearce8537]

This was also true of Antebellum South. It IS THE BEST SLEEPING ARRANGEMENT!

[@markwilliams4110]

Legitimate offspring was the name of the game so I would imagine that the King, constantly surrounded by men, would want to ensure that if his Queen is pregnant then the child is his. The Queen would be isolated in her chambers, sans male company, when unaccompanied. The King would then, probably with an entourage, visit the Queen to enjoy marital relations. This way the King would know as would the Court that should the Queen become pregnant then there could be no doubt that the child is the King's.

[@tessb579]

Thank you for these podcasts about GB History! I look forward to seeing more!

[@AmericanViscountess]

Glad you like them!

[@LemonDaisy4839]

I agree with you, it could be the trysts on both sides maybe? Also probably for some peace and quiet, considering how busy their days were, how much drama a court presents on a daily basis ...... I would run for some time alone too.

[@JFCotman]

Nah the Queen don’t get trysts Does she?

[@cheerio3847]

I always felt one of the main reasons was that aristocratic marriages were often more political alliances vs romantic so separate rooms allowed each person to have their own private space apart from the spouse they may not even like. Then, you add the whole theatre around dressing, private audiences with the king etc which all took place during the whole getting dressed and you wouldn't want the Queen + her retinue there taking away from the so-called private experience / private meeting. I've also wondered if they simply did not have good bed technology to make wide beds comfortable? I think they used to use ropes as support? I would assume that the rope mesh may not support both for extended time periods w/o having to take it all apart and restring it? It may have taken some time for someone to come up with a good way to have a wide bed that could be relied upon and be comfortable and not jounce horribly if the other person moved or got up. And snoring.... It wouldn't look good for the Queen to be constantly complaining on how the King disturbed her sleep with his breathing issues. Mistresses - mid-day trysts have always been common and could be anywhere. I would assume the King could have a nearby room set aside for his meetings and still either sleep alone or w/ the Queen. Security. It takes a great deal of trust to sleep next to someone who could harm you in the middle of the night. If a political marriage, that trust would be missing and the Queen could, herself, be a security risk!

[@MaximinaD.]

I love her outfit! Finally she dress expensive and clean

[@rosalieduffy1188]

In the Tudor-bed room, those crooked lamps need some attention. Also, add something under the lower one (like books) to raise it to the height of the other one. That will really help. From an American interior design fan.

[@renaenolen8461]

Most noble marriages were about politics & produce heirs. 4 poster beds handy with heavy curtains for winter cold & net/sheer curtains in summer to keep flies etc off.

[@kimkrebs451]

Those beds are beautiful!!

[@valentinarodoracio8145]

Hi! Love your program, always fun and interesting. I believe it was because of a lack of love, marriages were duty to align country’s, business deals so to speak , a queens place was to produce heirs, bring a dowry , and cement alliances..

[@erikaleonard2848]

I think separate beds makes a lot of sense. However for the current working royals I really hope they share a bedroom. I think it's better for the marriage. (Ear plugs and a fan on high will drown out a snoring spouse)😉😊

[@lindalaw8368]

It was considered “indecent” for men and women of that time to undress in front of each other. They also had to have attendants to help dress and undress so unless an heir was being tried for, they slept separately

[@miffysmate]

Lord & Lady Hesketh from Easton Neston whom my husband and I were cook & butler for, always slept in separate rooms/beds. I believe most aristocracy did back in the day. It's only us poor mortals that didn't have the luxury of a room each in our smaller houses that didn't.

[@pamelabbartol978]

Everyone in the comments covered the points that illuminate this topic. I believe separate sleeping quarters for Royalty goes back to ancient civilizations as well, such as Ancient Egypt, Rome, Babylon, and Greece. Also I believe the biblical Abraham and Sarah had separate tents with their own servants as well. It makes sense that the sexes would have their own private domain so as to allow the theme of "Absence makes the heart grow fonder " to blossom.

[@PLuMUK54]

Silk would rarely have been used for sheets. For much of history few people were what we would consider clean. Linen was used as an alternative to washing because not only was it excellent for absorbing sweat, and, therefore, dirt, but it was washable. Even the King or Queen rarely washed, so silk bedding would quickly become unusable because of the difficulty of washing it. Linen also has the advantage that the more it is washed, the softer it becomes. There is a reason we still use the phrase "bed linen" to describe the sheets and pillowcases. Silk would be used, but more likely on bed hangings and coverlets, which were usually highly decorated with embroidery and appliqué. As for sleeping separately, this was largely because there was a much greater separation of the sexes than we realise. Although men and women readily mixed socially, a large amount of time was spent apart. As a consequence, the King and the Queen would have their own courts, and they would live in often mirror image apartments on opposite sides of the building. These apartments included separate bedrooms, because a bedroom was often a social space for courtiers. People would even hold meetings and social gatherings whilst they were still in bed. It would be unseemly for women to be socialising in the King's chamber, or for men in the Queen's chamber unless they were there for...nudge nudge, wink wink 😉 From the reign of Charles II the monarch also had the ceremonial levée and coucher, when members of the court would publicly assist in the getting up and going to bed rituals. The audience would watch the King or Queen dress or undress, so separation was necessary. These ceremonies required the elaborate beds of the 17th and 18th centuries, which were usually not slept in. After the coucher ceremony, the King or Queen would usually move to a more ordinary bed in a nearby room, often joining their spouse. Some people will say that it was due to the Victorians that separate bedrooms were still in use, but Queen Victoria had an energetic and pleasurable sex life and always slept with Albert. However, as the bedroom was regarded as the woman's domaine, men often had a bed in their dressing room. Married couples often led separate lives socially, men would regularly come home late, so the separate bed was useful for the wife, who would not be disturbed.

[@pneron2032]

We shouldn't take it for granted that it is normal to sleep in the same bedroom. Everywhere from China, to India to Persia you find women's quarters and men's quarters: it's not just a bedroom, but the part of the house where women/men live. In southern Africa, the women had their own huts where they lived with the children.

[@ravenred201]

I have had a passion for English history for over 20 years. I have always thought, like you, having two different bedrooms was due to the King having mistresses. But also, i think in so many cases, since marriages were arranged, specifically to produce and Heir, the couple often didn't like each other very much so once their "duty" was completed, by having the Heir and spare (if blessed), then there would be no need to continue to sleep together. Another reason I believe is because some of the kings preferred same sex partners, so they wouldn't likely want to have the wife in the room all the time or walking in at inopportune times.. She was simply there to produce an Heir so once again, once the duty had be completed, that would be that! Also, the Queen has so many "ladies in waiting" or attendants, i can't imagine the King would like having a team of ladies around while he tried to rest or whatever. I would think if beds weren't "big" enough, they would just commission a larger one, if that indeed were the reason to have separate rooms. lol... i live this way now and love it! He snores and i love space. :) I have a king, and he does as well, in two separate master suites. Works great!! We have no duty to perform for God and country! HA LOVE YOUR CHANNEL! and life!!