Why Do KINGS & QUEENS SLEEP in Separate Bedrooms?

[@thompuckett9547]

Separate rooms, especially if spaced far apart, would make it more difficult for an assassin to kill both the king and queen. They may get to one but hopefully the staff would be alerted by the intruder and prevent the second attempt.

[@BewitchedBeckatha]

This was my theory!

[@libertydawn178]

I have thought the same idea as Thom Puckett have mentioned!

[@patparada44]

Or maybe to protect the King from being assassin by the Queen… lol snoring can drive a person crazy 😜

[@ladybarbarapinsonartist431]

My Scottish historian friends give the reason of family safety with the king's chamber even further within the castle than the queen's chamber.

[@SidnacGlitz]

Very smart I was thinking something along those lines like if the castle was ever invaded....

[@newnormal1841]

1.) Assassinations 2.) Large retinues 3.) Work hours 4.) Extra marital affairs 5.) They can 6.) Separate lives 7.) Idiosyncracies - hygiene snoring, bed blanket hog, smells - menses, body odor Henry viii-open wounds, sores Bugs - lice, crabs, scabies std 7.) Convenience 8.) Closet space - dressing 9.) Privacy 10.) They can afford it. 🤺💐

[@gerardacronin334]

Here are my theories. 1. Historically, Royal marriages were political alliances. To some extent they still are. Other than for the purpose of procreation, bedtime was not associated with affectionate snuggling. If they wanted meaningful sexual relationships, they got them outside the marriage. Having separate bedrooms made extramarital dalliances much more convenient. 2. They have plenty of bedrooms, so why not? 3. Privacy, snoring avoidance, separate schedules, separate servants and hangers on coming and going. At Versailles, being allowed to watch the King or the Queen getting dressed in the morning was a privilege accorded to those with the most influence. (It sounds like a nightmare).

[@DH007-w2d]

Bonjour. You are right about those who could or had to be at the Royal's side when they got up and got prepared. There were two "levers" and two "couchers", le Petit and le Grand. Depending on your rank at court you could hold the King's broom or give her "chemise" to the Queen...

[@LoveVanillaRose]

100 %

[@raymonddavis1370]

And YET in certain times in English history there were instances where An Audience while the king and Queen had relations was required (look it up)

[@acfatemi]

@@raymonddavis1370 😂to ensure the consumation of marriage and legitimacy of children. Gypsies (some groups) still have old ladies watching the first intercourse of the newly weds; control that the bride is a virgin and also that they are really together and not living a Joseph-marriage. In the muslim harems all intercourse was recorded in some kind of registry as well as menstruation. If any of the women got pregnant out of reasonable calculated schedule, she was simply and swiftly killed

[@findingbeautyinthepain8965]

Queens also had an audience while they gave birth. I believe Queen Victoria put a stop to it. It sounds quite brutal!

[@lechatel]

i love my husband of 40 years very much. i also love being able to have a night undisturbed by snores, fidgets, snorts and odd puffs and wheezes. I am amazed that people conflate the idea of separate beds with lack of love in a marriage.

[@juancarlosmontes]

I agree. It's luxurious to sprawl out unfettered and unbothered for as long as you wish.

[@Anne-pv9cb]

Same here.

[@skontheroad]

Agreed! Yet when he us away in a trip and out of the house, I never sleep well! Down the hall is close enough for me (on the regular!).

[@sandrapeele7965]

And then many families both spouses work and may work different shifts also when there are children they can disturb your sleep they're all kinds of legitimate reasons people do not sleep together.

[@jeanniejones2084]

Janet, I agree. Married for 30 years and some night when I need a good nights sleep, I will sleep in the guest room.

[@SM-ke6jq]

To answer your question, perhaps one could ask why it is that couples began sleeping in the same bed. I've heard it all came down to economics. Having separate bedrooms for both the man and the woman generally means larger homes which is something only the wealthy could afford. So if you could afford it, why not? Remember not to conflate intimacy with sleeping. They are two separate things.

[@raymonddavis1370]

Are we going to pretend that sleeping (not sex) with your partner and spending the night embracing is romantic AND intimate.

[@Sorchia56]

Exactly!!! This sharing thing is bizarre to me! Not the way I was raised. Husband was raised completely opposite of me so we had to compromise somehow. I do have my own room though. Sometimes the huge bed we have just won’t work, especially if he’s snoring!!

[@skontheroad]

Very clever comment!!

[@matthewtuttle1272]

Julie, your personality is the reason that your channel is so successful. I never thought an episode about bedrooms would be so interesting.

[@AmericanViscountess]

Wow, thank you!

[@sarasharpe6202]

In a separate comment related to antique English beds, when I visited Anne Hathaway's home years ago, I learned that the canopies over beds were developed because their cottages' thatched ceilings usually had bugs and sometimes even birds living in them. The canopies kept droppings off the folks sleeping below. And in the aforementioned drafty stone castles, the romantic velvet curtains surrounding the beds kept the warmth in. Both practical solutions to ensure the best night sleep possible.

[@skontheroad]

Anne Hathaway???? 😆 🤣 😂

[@sarasharpe6202]

@@skontheroad Yes, Anne Hathaway the wife of Shakespeare.

[@HappyLife693]

@@skontheroad You just couldn't resist, could you? 😂

[@gingerninjawhinger9986]

Having separate bedrooms probably boils down to the fact that both the King and the Queen each had their own large retinue who helped them to dress and undress each day. We must also remember that the King and Queen were usually dressed and undressed while receiving Audiences, so a shared bedroom would quickly have become overcrowded and chaotic and the theatre of it all would be lost. As for the four-poster beds and the silk bedsheets: the four-poster beds used to have curtains, which you could pull around the bed to keep out the chill in winter (and also to give privacy in the more intimate times of the marriage); the beds were probably dressed in silk because silk =wealth; to show a guest to a bedroom where the bedsheets and pillow cases are of silk lets the guest know in no uncertain terms just how wealthy you are.

[@skontheroad]

Audiences were only in France, during their Toilette. A public event, made a rule during King Louis' reign at Versailles.

[@AnnAndNala]

I think separate bedrooms is ideal! Sounder sleep, independence, and peace! One can always bring romance and visit the other bedroom. Didn't the shared bedroom come about based on the average citizen and the affordability of smaller homes? I think separate is the healthiest option on so many levels!

[@spoosieoopsie1616]

My dad could wake the dead with his snoring!! After almost 20 years of broken sleep or no sleep, poor Mom had had enough! When my sister and I left home, my dad moved into my sister's old room. I came home to visit several times but she lived over 1,500 miles away and never visited. Dad never lost his new room!

[@Blaire20]

Yes!!

[@michaelmontagu3979]

It is healthy. It's also good for putting fun into a relationship. 'Your room or mine?) 😉

[@doig18]

Yes! My husband and I have been married over 20 years. We tried sleeping in the same bed a few times but ultimately found we worked better sleeping apart. We make time to “visit” one another but then sleep separate. It’s heaven!!

[@jolynnaerobert3190]

@@doig18 My husband and I have been married 43 years and we sleep in separate bedrooms. We tried sleeping together for years because we thought we were supposed to. When the kids were all gone I decided I had had enough of the snoring, farting, tossing and turning and moved into one of the now empty bedrooms. should have done that when the first child left!

[@Holidaygal]

Remember most people, in days of old, were considerably shorter than people today. One basic reason for separate rooms for the well to do and wealthy was Back in the day, after childbirth the mother was secluded for a period of 4- 6 weeks and then “churched”. Edit. The tradition of Churching began in the early centuries of the Church. Pope Gregory the Great mentions it in the 6th century. It was meant for the mother to return to church after a time of lying-in, for about 4 to 6 weeks, which matches the 40 days of the Levitical law for purification. For centuries, newborns were baptized within hours or days of their births, which meant their mothers could generally not attend the baptism. Churching was an occasion of thanksgiving for the lives of the mother and the child in a time when maternal and infantile mortality were high. The time of lying-in before churching was a time of rest for the new mother, since the first few weeks after delivery were critical to the health of the mother for a complete recovery. Before she had to resume her social activity.. She then resumed her duties to their full extent. The celebration was often followed by a meal (in French, the word for churching, “relevailles,” is also the word for the feast that follows).

[@ElAvionLoco]

I read a book form professor of history, and he claimed that one of the reasons are health, and that time the idea of sleeping with someone all night breathing the same air, sometimes coughing, sometimes skin to skin on the same bed all those ideas are considered unhealthy, it was really until the 20th century with a modern medicine studies that couples start to sleep together in the same bed.

[@GraySky518]

I think the idea of sleeping in separate beds and/or bedrooms came from the middle ages. Poor people slept together in beds because they could not afford the luxury of separate beds or bedrooms. So it’s a sign of your status to sleep alone in a bed. There also was an issue with transmission of body lice and illness. I also have a theory that it may have been also for safety reasons. Possibly by keeping a royal couple separated the likelihood of both being assassinated in their sleep was reduced. Also, marriages were often political alliances not love. Who wants to sleep with someone you may loathe? Interesting topic!

[@kbal1451]

Silk isn't directly from Mulberry leaves, it's from the cocoons of silkworms that eat mulberry leaves. As kids we raised a few of them. It takes an awful lot of silk worms to produce enough for a ream of silk. A hundred kilograms of mulberry leaves yields 25 silkworm cocoons. It takes 5,500 silkworms to produce 1 kilogram (2.2 lbs) of raw silk. I think it could be argued that cotton is less resource intensive.

[@anjalisuzanneangel238]

And more humane.

[@SN-sz7kw]

We went the separate bedroom route by default a few years after becoming parents. Being desperate for sleep is a great motivator. Kids are almost out of the house and we still love our independent spaces - makes the relationship stronger. 😂

[@donnabradshaw5200]

I agree. When I was married, my husband could suck the drapes off the windows with all the snoring. If people wanted to function on a daily basis, you need to be rested. I'm going to be a lot happier if I got to sleep the night before.

[@LJB103]

My parents changed over to separate bedrooms after my father broke his back. He needed not only an extra firm mattress, but also a board between the mattress and springs. You could sink into my mother's soft mattress

[@RitaBaumann]

Historians say the practice was also to protect the King and Queen as would be assassins would not know in which bedroom the they were in. King Edward the IV was actually saved from a would-be killer because he spent the night with his Queen.

[@dottykennedy3086]

Also many Kings held court in the bed chamber where multiple people would carry favor by assisting him with their morning routine including going to the toilet. No woman wants to be there for that!

[@Lili-xq9sn]

Lol

[@todd755]

Please remember that marriage esp among aristocrats was a merger of fortunes to assure the next generation. It was NOT for love. The idea of love is actually a Victorian invention. Since the Middle Ages, love was always described outside of marriage a la Andreas Capellanus. Married couples had to produce two unquestioned heirs but then it was and is understood that each party can pursue real love outside of marriage discreetly. Examples are numerous.

[@margyrowland]

As a married woman I really enjoy having my own bedroom because I can totally relax in the environment I’ve created for myself.

[@foreveryoung999]

ME TOO

[@BlackCoffeeee]

Oh you're so lucky! I would love that 😊

[@922Terry]

Me too! Better sleep, no or fewer interruptions,

[@supernova7848]

Same!

[@user-ke8st8jc1v]

The real truth is because you’re all sick of your husbands

[@creditrepairwizards]

Throughout history most royal subjects lived one entire family to a single room. Royals having their own bed and bedroom was a display of wealth and power .

[@marcibailey1948]

My husband and I have separate bedrooms. We both have an American king sized bed, sleep is so much better when you're not fighting for covers, bedspace or dealing with someone tossing and turning or getting up and down. Now we are reminded of this when we visit our son and share a reg full sized double bed 😱

[@spoosieoopsie1616]

Poor you!! My husband works nights and I work days. We have, what Dad called, a hot rack. Our problem came when we went camping. My husband is a cover hog and I am a bed hog. Our solution? On a queen-size bed, we put a queen fitted sheet and two twin-size flat sheets! He can pull to his heart's content but he can't steal my sheet! I put a crocheted blanket, wadded up, down the middle of the bed. I never move beyond it. Sounds bizarre, I'm sure, but it works.

[@marcibailey1948]

I agree with the twin tops, that's what we do when our son comes to visit. No sharing blankets! It makes for a happier marriage lol

[@ladydior-oo3gi]

I would love it if you do videos on how to live like queens in our daily life ... The routine .... How to manage the kingdom I looooive this personality ... The feminine queen 💐

[@JFCotman]

I’m here because Cam Diaz recently suggested couples sleep separately Man I’ve learned a lot! Anyway, I agree with the comments consensus that the gender specificity of their needs drove the King and Queen to have separate bedrooms The king wouldn’t want to be near the Queen during her menstrual cycle. She wouldn’t want her handmaids seeing the king half dressed

[@amethystanne4586]

Loved the advertisement for Lilysilk. Well done!

[@leenam.4578]

FYI: Silk is a fabric; satin is a finish. Satin is one of several finishes for silk. In the past, most satin would have been made of silk. Some cotton finishes are satin, but will never be as smooth as silk. Today, a great deal of "satin" is made from polyester.

[@zipinha]

Thank you!

[@suezeezwart8460]

She's talking about ethical silk but has omitted that silkworms actually spin the silk and as a result of the making of silk they die

[@Sorchia56]

Satin sheets are wretched!! The pillow slides off the bed constantly! No sleep to be had on those.

[@leenam.4578]

@Sorchia Ireland All my pillow cases (only) are 22 momme silk, with satin finish but not the sheets themselves. It would be quite an extravagance, and I am not a Sultana in the Ottoman Empire. I find them great for my skin and hair. And I recommend zippered cases. Otherwise, yes, the if you are an active sleeper, the pillow may shoot of the case like toothpaste out of its tube. Inexpensive satin finished polyester sheets are a nightmare, years ago, I spent a sleepless night spinning around in a bed made up with them.

[@Sorchia56]

@@leenam.4578 Your ‘shoot out like toothpaste from the tube’ had me roaring with laughter until tears were forming! And the addition of ‘I’m not a Sultana’ had me buckled! 😂😂😂 Absolutely brilliant analogy and spot on! You’ve made my Monday complete. You are officially invited to all gatherings, you’re far too much fun to not be around!

[@spinstercatlady]

My grandparents slept in separate bedrooms all their married lives bc my grandpa snored and moved about and my Nan wasn't about all that lol. I'm not sure why royalty chose separate bedrooms, but it was a smart move imo haha!

[@noizeemama3697]

Married couples are choosing to sleep in separate rooms so that they can get better sleep. We're talking young sexually active couples that have kids. One somewhat famous couple decided to do this when she was pregnant with their second child. She was disturbing his sleep so much with having to get up to go to the bathroom and tossing and turning that they figured they would go back to sleeping together after the baby came. After the baby came they kept separate rooms because they took turns taking care of the infant. This way both of them didn't have to wake up for feedings, just whomever was designated for the night. Well, once it was time to go back to sharing a bed, they both agreed that they slept much better in separate beds, so they kept the separate bedrooms.

[@MD11339]

Well I love the idea of separate bedrooms. It is practical and allows for a great sleep, not to mention privacy! I am all for it! Great vlog!

[@ladybarbarapinsonartist431]

It is a matter of privilege. Poor families were forced to have multiple family members in the same bed for both warmth and for lack of other beds. If you recall William Shakespeare's wife brought to their marriage the gift of a bed, which was considered a luxury item.

[@KNYD]

They married for status, money and power not for love and they could afford separate rooms. If you go further back in time when Europe consisted of many small kingdoms was scattered with many fortresses and castles, kings and queens slept in the same room with their children. They just needed to produce an heir or two and after that they were free to pursue their private relationships.

[@LoveVanillaRose]

Because their marriages are not about love. Their marriages are about maintaining bloodline dominance and power.

[@lechatel]

I fail to see what 'love' has got to do with getting a good night's sleep without being disturbed.

[@pneron2032]

@@lechatel Hahaha

[@raymonddavis1370]

@@lechatel When you were young did you not feel emotion when embracing or laying with your head on someone's chest, or did you "avoid someone crowding you and not having a pillow?' Are you now too old to remember such things? I remember but then again I am only 65.

[@lechatel]

@@raymonddavis1370 Clearly you have lost your marbles or never got past the love-sick teenager stage. (If you are going to be gratuitously rude to me then expect some back.) I have no desire to 'feel emotion' when I want to get some rest. I have lots of time to 'feel emotion' and lay my head on my partner's chest without doing it when I need my sleep and he needs his.

[@Grace-tc1lq]

@@lechatel I think that’s unfair to say that. If separate bedrooms work better for you, fine, if some want to share a bed, fine......why does one have to be right and the other one wrong? We are all different and show it by our differing opinions every day. I don’t understand why this is causing arguments......to each his/her own. It’s not even our business how someone else chooses to sleep, with or without their partner...doesn’t that feel intrusive? Of course it is.

[@DineeGal]

Your insight and pure honesty is fabulous!

[@victoriaann9942]

I'm just a commoner and we sleep in separate rooms. We get much better sleep, decor and furnishings are personal, and we enjoy our privacy. Very devoted, while enjoying our own space.

[@Grace-tc1lq]

To each his own. Neither is right or wrong......whatever works for you and your partner is the right decision. 👍

[@twoofsix3b3g]

If anyone has read Daphne Du Maurier's REBECCA, for example, it is clearly understood that it would be quite the norm for a married couple to have their own personal bedroom. Any wealthy family be it in Europe or in the United States of America would think this arrangement more acceptable than to share the one room . Not only did they have their own bedroom but also separate bathrooms.

[@davey2363]

A huge sign of wealth and status not to have to share a bed. Well off sorts in the 16th and 17th centuries when stopping overnight at an inn usually shared, not just a room, but a bed too, with a complete stranger…..Pepys diaries of the 1660’s as a point of reference.

[@amethystanne4586]

In the PBS series “Downton Abbey”, before she married, Mary was talking to her mother in the bedroom when her father came into the room, wearing his pajamas and robe. Mary made some kind of remark about her parents sleeping in the same room. (I can’t remember exactly what Mary said) ETA: “I hope you know that really smart people sleep in separate rooms.” (1910’s-‘20’s, smart=fashionable)

[@LS-qw3ez]

I thought of this as well!

[@longwaytotipperary]

I read a lot of comments and the one that stands out most to me is the idea that each person had a bunch of people who attended to their needs - having separate bedrooms would make it easier for the teams to come and go without the interference of the other team. Julie is a natural in front of the camera!

[@pneron2032]

Yes, and men and women lived very different lives then. You can't dress with your maids and attendants with your husband and his attendants gawking at you.

[@elizabethlerch6145]

P pp

[@leonstevens1382]

It’s hardly just royals! I know many happily married couples, who sleep in separate bedrooms.

[@nandelamere6882]

Gosh you married into history, I love the way you embraced your husband's inheritance and telling us about mapperton and it's aristocracy, I love history. Thanks,

[@haplessdilettante]

Sleeping and mating are separate concerns. The sole commonality is the need for a bed.

[@maryannchaisson6742]

Hey Julie, back in Tudor times , even the men wore Nightgowns and night caps. PJ’s are quite a modern invention. FYI. Enjoy your videos and the ones on Mapperton with Luke! 🇨🇦🇨🇦👏👏👏🌹

[@marlaharmon]

I’m not sure if these are accurate, but I have heard of two reasons. One was similar to how you do not go to breakfast in your PJ’s. They most likely didn’t want the spouse to see you without being dressed. The second, and most likely reason of the two that I have heard before is that the queen had a ‘woman of the bed chamber’ that came to her room each day to help her get dressed/undressed because of her corset, multiple layers of clothing, the extensive number of buttons, fixing her hair, etc. That would have been inconvenient for both the king and queen each morning and evening.

[@kitty6720]

I think it's funny that you were referring to the Crown for the historical accuracy. It's one of the things ("historical accuracy") that so many people criticize it for.

[@Alijargo]

I was thinking the same thing. And Bridgerton, which is way worse. It's historical fantasy, and not a good historical reference.

[@ryanm7171]

In addition to your reasons, I would add the practical reason that both the King and Queen had a large number of personal servants each to attend to them. I'm also guessing they each had different taste in decor and each had a massive wardrobe of clothes and belongings making two large separate necessary just to fit everything in.

[@cassandraelliot7878]

Having separate bedroom was a sign of wealth. Meetings occurred in royal bedrooms. Call Lucy Worsley at Hampton Court, she can tell you.

[@ovh992]

Remember that separate beds were not just for kings and queens. A lot of the upper classes had the same arrangement The reasons were numerous. It was also the opposite of the lower classes where the whole family could sleep in one bed as could a few farm animals, livestock.

[@SweetOne.]

There could have been a common sitting room between the separate bedrooms sometimes 2 sitting rooms a his and hers where the couple would meet and decide if one should join the other and in whose room, often a note/invite would be left in said sitting room if more that one sitting room/area were availed. My Father told me his parents had separate rooms as Ladies needed their privacy for feminine reasons and would stay in bed in their rooms during their time of menses and during child birth, a bath could be taken in either the bed chamber or the sitting room depending on where a fire was available (hearth). Grandma's house had ringers on the walls and bells in the kitchen, Dad used to pull the ringers to make the housekeeper come to tease her. That would have been in the mid 1920's (Dad was born 1919 the youngest of 9) He passed at 94. He grew up with the old rules of Gentry and passed it on to me as best he could - I see how so much was lost with the wars and technology, yet at the same time so much gained.. It's hard to find a balance betwixt the two when our romantic hearts are pulled to history, to who we are and where we came from. You are lucky to have such a wonderful library with relatives diaries, cost books, accounts and more. All of our stuff is now on computer and lap top.. we need to make sure our stuff is there for future generations to romance and learn. Thank you so much for sharing your life, your home(s) and your questions.

[@lepolhart3242]

Did you grow up in a large upper class home? I cringe at shows like Downton Abbey which are pure trash when it comes to historical accuracy. Servants were usually treated much worse than as portrayed in period dramas as the Grantham family are too kind to be realistic. I've heard shocking stories about how hard the reality of life was at that time.

[@samanthaporter6662]

I would like a separate bathroom/ shower/ closet, but I like sleeping next to my hubby!!

[@pumpjackpiddlewick]

It does depend on how far back you are going. We honestly can't rule out practicality, especially if there was no heating. Four-poster beds were great for enveloping in material and thus keeping the (natural body) heat in. (This can be seen in many beds that where built into cupboards in those days.) Also, if we go back to a time of when there were few and far between separate bed chambers, then to have privacy, the material that draped about a bed was the equivalent to walls. If we are applying it to royalty, or if you like arranged marriages, then it gave a measure of independence.

[@bcase5328]

Also, the Royal bedrooms were historically full of staff, staff and advisors; Royal bedrooms were part office (of the rank). Royal privacy is a modern development.

[@AndreaJSeverson]

In past centuries, royal marriages were financial and political transactions rather than love matches (probably why there were so many mistresses and other liasons). So separate bedrooms would have given the royal couple their own space to live their own lives outside of their royal duties. If I married a stranger I wouldn't want to have to share a bedroom with him lol. But also the private politics of the bedroom were also interesting. The king and queen would each have their own servants and attendants, this would have led to more than a dozen people in one room to get ready in the morning or evening if they shared a bedroom. I think also there would have been antiquated notions about the natural cycles a woman's body goes through and men not wanting to be a part of that or keeping their distance during certain times of the month or stages of a woman's pregnancy. As we got into more recent history, like the late 19th/early 20th century, relationships change (as did understanding of women's bodies lol) and marriages started to be made for better reasons than politics but the idea of the separate space remained out of tradition. I think even now, when a lot of royals have been able to marry for love, having separate or joined bedrooms can be helpful if they're keeping different schedules during a busy week, if someone is getting home late after traveling, they wouldn't have to disturb a spouse who has to get up early for an engagement. So there's some practical use to it even now. :)

[@karenstanislaw8912]

Given the option, I think *most people would love a little autonomy. Who said, "The key to a successful marriage is separate bathrooms." (?) Having said this, I'm sure, on the other hand, they'll be a particular factor in the Royal lay out that made this ritual. Looking forward-

[@JenningsCraftsBoutique]

I read somewhere in a some Royal book, that since the Queen or King whichever the case may be (the most important of the two), worked long hours, like our Queen does today and therefore didn't want to disturb their other half. Plus of course with having other partners on the go, they needed separate beds anyway. I thought Americans as well as us Brits in years gone by also had separate beds but in the same room... Well they did in the movies lol and I clearly remember my grandparents having separate beds in the same room for many years, until they got older and then they had separate rooms once they'd reached a certain age so as not to disturb each other as my Grandmother was always the last to one to bed! :0)

[@lauravalentine9488]

My grandparents had separate bedrooms, but then they detested one another, but divorce was out of the question.

[@CraftyMunchQuinn]

I read a while ago that in movies they had separate beds because it was considered inappropriate to show a man and woman in a bed together. You could have a very wholesome movie, but if you showed the husband and wife in the same bed, it would be the same as an R-rated movie.

[@L_lechant]

I don’t come remotely from aristocracy but my grandparents had separate bedrooms and I got to sleep with my grandma when I was a little girl. Their bedrooms were in the opposite side of the house. I think that was just the way things were back then. They had 5 children. So, they got together once in a while :)

[@JenningsCraftsBoutique]

@@L_lechant Yes, I remember when I was 3 to about 10, I slept with my grandmother when I was there on holiday. My grandparents only had one child, my late father! but it was fun to snuggle behind my grandmother, I remember how warm and cosy I felt covered with soft wool blankets and warm sheets, as back home we shared beds with several siblings and had old fashioned grey prickly blankets, cold cottons sheets and sometimes if it was really cold, we'd use our coats as covers as well lol

[@marileestetson737]

Ok, so here's my theory from all the bits and pieces I've learned. Back in the early years when everyone slept and ate in the great hall, there came a time when the leader would have separate accommodations for the family. Personal space began. It came to pass that the more rooms you had, the more wealth in appearance. Kings would probably spend all hours with his business at hand, with a separate bedroom, the queen could sleep undisturbed. Therefore the King was free with his time.

[@kathyolney4083]

An interesting subject which may or may not be for an era... everything seemed to favor all about men in that day. I saw a video which mentioned William and Catherine having each their own room (true or not IDK) but..I understood they both have such grueling schedules. As far as the idea that men had the visitors or live-ins, maybe the women should also have them, but then why the marriage. There was the time where women did not hold as much "worth" as a man. In the Renaissance era when women held land but no men in the family...a story that the Pope took over the land. Just one story. I'm sure there are more. I do enjoy your videos and subjects as most Americans are descendants of some family that lived in Europe, fought the mighty sea and landed here. Very well presented!!!🥂 Another thought provoking video!! 💫

[@karenstanislaw8912]

Thinking, maybe , this is a formality and logistics issue. Each monarch had/has tremendous staff, tremendous goings on/services throughout the day. Separate quarters may have been the only way to avoid chaos, servants bumping into the other, etc. ??

[@marybarratt2649]

I gather that recently it has been proven that sleeping with a partner is better for your health all round. Not sure someone suffering a snorer would agree with that, but apparently we are better for being close to someone. Im certain there are many women out there suffering night flushes who would long to have their own room. Thank you for a very interesting video. Always a joy to watch and listen. Blessings.

[@redflamearrow7113]

It sounds like that 'study' must have been done by men.

[@milliesanchez1335]

I think your theory about mistresses is valid. The Queen May have known what was going on but didn’t want to share the bed! Thanks.

[@flibbertygibbette]

Definitely the mistresses were a major factor. But there are a number of other factors. Remember that from the earliest period, royal marriages were arranged ones, and husband and wife rarely knew each other prior to the marriage. Separate bedrooms allowed them to have separate spaces while they got to know each other, and while some kings and queens fell in love, many were basically business partners, in the business of producing an heir and building alliances between families, and not much more. They often led very separate lives, other than when required to be together. Also, a king's valet and other male servants had to be at hand at all times, with the valet often sleeping in the next room, and so having the queen sleeping in the same room with the king would expose her to men in inappropriate ways. Similarly, the queen often had her own staff sleeping in the next room so as to be at hand at all times, and I imagine the queen would not want to promote intimate contact between the king and her own staff, if you know what I mean, which would be necessary if the king and queen slept together. Yet another reason for this separation was likely to distinguish nobility from the common people. It was typical for not only spouses but entire families to sleep in the same room until fairly recently (as in, within the last 100 years). Separation into different sleeping chambers was a luxury and another way of flaunting status, with the number of bedrooms and expensive beds. So in short, lots of reasons to keep separate bedrooms. I imagine Charles and Camilla will have separate bedrooms as will Will and Kate eventually. Whether they use both bedrooms or not is another question, but they'll definitely have separate spaces for dressing and so forth.

[@jeffplawrentz269]

I've always enjoyed learning about early furniture and a couple years ago watched on youtube a documentary "The First State Bed of Henry VII & Elizabeth of York" -March 2019. This may be of interest to you. I've also studied high poster beds here in the states and have come to believe that many beds were created/designed to go with the architecture of the rooms they were intended, ie, Georgian homes had Georgian beds, Greek Revival houses had Empire beds, etc. It would be interesting to know the provenance of your earlier Elizabethian era bed. I noticed in the auction catalog of Althorp some years ago (2010-Christies-I think?) that among the many treasures being offered were parts of beds that were hundreds of years old. Amazing to me that anything wood survided from that time. In study of the decorative arts I think that beds (especially canopy) are the most frequently altered pieces of furniture---often having legs shortened and losses to height. I found this episode fascinating. Thank you!

[@lindalaw8368]

It was considered “indecent” for men and women of that time to undress in front of each other. They also had to have attendants to help dress and undress so unless an heir was being tried for, they slept separately

[@russbear31]

I believe your last point might me closer to the truth... The royals and nobility 200+ years ago almost never married for love. (Marrying for love is actually a modern notion.) Frequently, their marriages were arranged by their fathers and they were forced to marry--and love had nothing to do with it. Marriages were nothing more than political peace treaties and alliances between families. A prime example was George IV, Queen Victoria's uncle. He was forced by his father (George III) to marry a German princess who he loathed. Yes, he produced the heir (Charlotte) and then he was absolutely done with his "wife." George then went on to have numerous mistresses and produced a large string of illegitimate children (like Charles II) with women he actually loved.

[@rspen2142]

Kings were, in a sense, expected to have mistresses. They would go to his bed chamber. The queen's bed was where the king would go if he wanted to lie with the queen or he would summon her to his bed chamber. Other than that, the king's room was for whomever he chose.

[@meganhulatt6779]

If you want to be really gritty it was good contraception, plus it gave the men much freedom, you could control who came into the chamber, beds were also often part of the wedding dowry and were often left as part of the inheritance. So the woman would bring her own bed as her own assistants to dress and even an official bed warmer ( a lady's maid) usually an aristocratic women rather than a servent

[@rebekahlow8375]

I love learning why and how people have done things throughout history. I really enjoyed this video a lot!! Love from Vermont

[@A2D4]

You are so lucky to live in Vermont - remarkable beauty and history combined. Once while standing in a line at a store in Vermont, I got to talking with a young lady behind me. I asked her if she realized or appreciated how beautiful it is and she said, “only when I leave and go somewhere else”. Which says it all- not many places compare! Love from the West! 😊

[@denasutera]

Please update us if you receive more info on “why” kings and Queens had separate bedrooms. Thank you !

[@TiemposDePaz]

I think that explains it - the ability to move separately with some privacy from the other spouse. Some marriages were also arranged and after the duty of producing the heir was complete, they didn't much care for their spouse. It was just a safer way to navigate marriage and stay sane

[@katieface86]

I know several couples who sleep separately and they are very strong couples. My grandparents started sleeping apartment because my grandfather snored very loudly. They were married for almost 60 years before my grandfather died.

[@teresafritschi6332]

Julie, Satin and velvet are types of fabrics (just as georgette and crepe de Chine) which were traditionally made of silk, but velvet can be made of cotton and linen.

[@LS-qw3ez]

I wonder if it also had something to do with servants being in the bedrooms. There would be lady’s maids and butlers and valets around, and it would probably be considered indecent for the sexes to mix when dressing and grooming.

[@ArtsyCupcake]

That’s what I was thinking too!

[@Nightbird1914]

I had that thought as well.

[@LifeAccordingtoMaria]

This has been done in our household for generations. European upper class never sleep together unless they are visiting someone and are only offered one bedroom during their stay.

[@emmabh2166]

Different people and different sleep patterns, back then also, ‘sleep tight’ was to do with the tightening of the springs or something, maybe wanting different mattresses/ comfort could be another contender.

[@ladybarbarapinsonartist431]

Remember that beds were a luxury item and were movable from household to household. They came apart easily in order to reassemble. Henry VIII had warehouses of movable furniture and clothing, in order to make visits to various households on his progresses. I would have thought fine linen was the nightgown of choice for nobles, as it breathes, is durable, easy to embroider, easy to clean and could be used as the undershirt or underdress for daywear. Your lively presentations are always a joy. In appreciation for you and Luke...

[@HosCreates]

Linen was a common very well kept item of much value especially for underclothes as it holds up to the vigorous beating and washing of handwashing . If you could afford it though silk was an option more for top layers of bedding, pillows and gowns. depends on the era too.

[@bjstewart3723]

I'm surprised they didn't live in separate castles. With all the "trysts" there was a strong chance of picking up a disease, nothing the queen would care to share, especially if she was pregnant. I do agree with your love of silk, my fav fabric as well. Love the slacks you wear in this video.

[@rdrydnghdwolfe1396]

Trysts = “trists” btw… I enjoy your presentations so much! Thank you.

[@celticlass8573]

Do you know what I think would be a really interesting collab? American Viscountess AND Mapperton Live (because of the different perspectives), doing a collab with Jolly, Korean Englishman, and Gabie Kook. There seems to be a lot of interest by Koreans in the UK (certainly there are a lot of Korean subscribers to Jolly), and there's definitely a surge of interest in the UK about everything Korean. This collaboration would be a really interesting way to show another side of life in England to Jolly viewers and great exposure for American Viscountess and Mapperton Live, to an audience who might not normally overlap. I think Julie is in a unique position to do this, because she's very personable and not at all the "stuffy aristocrat" if you get me,. Julie's vibe, personality and sense of humour I believe would be a great match for Josh, Ollie and Gabie. Julie is also very knowledgeable, and has the unique perspective of someone who wasn't born into it, so it didn't and probably still doesn't, feel "everyday". Julie is also much more visible in the media than other aristocrats, especially since she's had the role of correspondent for things like the current Jubilee celebrations. It would be a fascinating collaboration!

[@anohacharlesschlosser9305]

We sleep seperately since two decades.it works wonderful for us

[@cheerio3847]

I always felt one of the main reasons was that aristocratic marriages were often more political alliances vs romantic so separate rooms allowed each person to have their own private space apart from the spouse they may not even like. Then, you add the whole theatre around dressing, private audiences with the king etc which all took place during the whole getting dressed and you wouldn't want the Queen + her retinue there taking away from the so-called private experience / private meeting. I've also wondered if they simply did not have good bed technology to make wide beds comfortable? I think they used to use ropes as support? I would assume that the rope mesh may not support both for extended time periods w/o having to take it all apart and restring it? It may have taken some time for someone to come up with a good way to have a wide bed that could be relied upon and be comfortable and not jounce horribly if the other person moved or got up. And snoring.... It wouldn't look good for the Queen to be constantly complaining on how the King disturbed her sleep with his breathing issues. Mistresses - mid-day trysts have always been common and could be anywhere. I would assume the King could have a nearby room set aside for his meetings and still either sleep alone or w/ the Queen. Security. It takes a great deal of trust to sleep next to someone who could harm you in the middle of the night. If a political marriage, that trust would be missing and the Queen could, herself, be a security risk!

[@genevievemurray7743]

Governing a country with different appointment times, deadlines and sleep needs would necessitate a separate room. The spouse also has royal duties. The royal sleeper used to have a night attendant sleeping in the room to assist toileting and refreshment as requested throughout the night. I imagine that time to make royal babies would need to be by appointment. I wonder if people know the bed become a snug little room in and of itself once the curtains are drawn.

[@mytobytobster]

I always felt so bad for Queen Catherine. Lovely commentary. Maybe the partner will be grumpy if disturbed

[@librariangal]

Also, kings conducted business from their bedchamber (hence, there was a servant dubbed.....royal bedchamber master). It wasn't a "private" room. It was more of a public space. Lucy Worsley spoke eloquently about that very thing in one of her episodes. So interesting Julie. Thanks so much!!!

[@sylviaboudreau5967]

They are all logical reasons why Kings and Queens. I agree.

[@renaenolen8461]

Most noble marriages were about politics & produce heirs. 4 poster beds handy with heavy curtains for winter cold & net/sheer curtains in summer to keep flies etc off.

[@MarinaBylett]

You are brilliant narrator so interesting

[@RareSeldas]

I think a major reason why is simply that they lived very busy separate life styles and always sharing a bed would be inconvenient.

[@howardboyer9092]

Love your idea of employment for lady's in waiting so the Norman philosophy of a wife and a spare.

[@LJB103]

Also, more went on in the bedrooms other than sex and sleeping. The queen and her ladies socialized in her chambers, and the king often met with ministers and important men in his. You mentioned the cold rooms, but didn't mention that these four-poster beds had curtains that could be closed all around to keep your heat in.

[@hollymurrison1562]

i think it's because the beds were not like the ones we have today. there were ropes holding a straw/wool mattress that had no structure so when someone tries to sleep in it they roll to the center. makes it very uncomfortable to sleep beside someone.

[@schoolingdiana9086]

I think you may have hit on it, right here. I guess if it’s all you know, you may not care, but who wants to sleep where another person is going to half roll on top of them when they move around in the night? As Julie said, they had a lot of duties and we all know how your brain doesn’t want to function if you’re shorted just an hour or so of sleep. . . Your idea makes perfect sense to me.

[@Junoleda]

A king and queens household was a department with officials and servants and was a huge operations. They had estates. queens were given their own homes. Leeds Castle, Baynards Castle, Somerset House, Queens House Greenwich, Buckingham House we’re the property of the Queen. They slept separately because they lived separately. Kings who actually loved their mistresses would want them to have some social acceptance. Hence Charles insisting that Catherine accept Barbara Duchess of Cleveland as her Lady in Waiting, the mother of six of his children. Also sometimes the mistress would have greater influence with the king than his wife, hence Marie Leczinska being so forgiving of Madame de Pompadour, who was respectful to her.

[@susanmeredith4957]

That would be my theory too, because it was common for Kings to have affairs.

[@wellnone9367]

Because they COULD! My husband and I ended up in separate bedrooms, simply because we got far better sleep - marvellous. ALSO, before central heating, the children also slept, several in the same bed - the only way they could keep warm in Winter. Not everyone could afford to have fires burning in the bedrooms, meaning the bedrooms got very cold and damp. Not everyone could afford a four poster bed, and the bed curtains that went with it. These beds were a means of keeping the body heat of the people IN the bed, restricted to a smaller space once the curtains were drawn at night. Royalty/aristocracy had no problems like this, so they could sleep on their own. Much more sumptuous a life-style, and PROOF they were a cut above the rest - if one wants to be respected as head of state, of course one has to SHOW that one IS a cut above the rest, in things and lifestyle, without personal ostentation - at least not now. Didn't the monarch, in the old days, have to have certain servants of the bedchamber with them at all times, for safety, and for helping with the royal toileting at night, plus guards outside the inner door? I don't think it could have been pleasant to have to sleep in smelly Piccadilly Circus. You will also learn a lot about these things by reading "Towers in the Mist" by Elisabeth Goudge, which takes place in the time of Elisabeth I. Wonderful historical novelist - I learned a lot from it. Also a very pleasant read.

[@maryannguess7115]

INCREDIBLE FABRICS back then..beautiful silks..great beds..enjoy ur day Julie♡

[@lebkha]

Honestly sleeping separately is the best way of sleeping arrangements.

[@stefaniesombaty8980]

I think it was done firstly, because their marriages were political matches and not love matches as done today. Sleeping, in my opinion, is quite private, intimate and makes one vulnerable. Who would want to sleep next to someone they barely know and may not like? My husband and I have separate bedrooms for practicality reasons like you mentioned, snoring, moving and kicking. Many of my family members have done and do the same thing.

[@PLuMUK54]

Silk would rarely have been used for sheets. For much of history few people were what we would consider clean. Linen was used as an alternative to washing because not only was it excellent for absorbing sweat, and, therefore, dirt, but it was washable. Even the King or Queen rarely washed, so silk bedding would quickly become unusable because of the difficulty of washing it. Linen also has the advantage that the more it is washed, the softer it becomes. There is a reason we still use the phrase "bed linen" to describe the sheets and pillowcases. Silk would be used, but more likely on bed hangings and coverlets, which were usually highly decorated with embroidery and appliqué. As for sleeping separately, this was largely because there was a much greater separation of the sexes than we realise. Although men and women readily mixed socially, a large amount of time was spent apart. As a consequence, the King and the Queen would have their own courts, and they would live in often mirror image apartments on opposite sides of the building. These apartments included separate bedrooms, because a bedroom was often a social space for courtiers. People would even hold meetings and social gatherings whilst they were still in bed. It would be unseemly for women to be socialising in the King's chamber, or for men in the Queen's chamber unless they were there for...nudge nudge, wink wink 😉 From the reign of Charles II the monarch also had the ceremonial levée and coucher, when members of the court would publicly assist in the getting up and going to bed rituals. The audience would watch the King or Queen dress or undress, so separation was necessary. These ceremonies required the elaborate beds of the 17th and 18th centuries, which were usually not slept in. After the coucher ceremony, the King or Queen would usually move to a more ordinary bed in a nearby room, often joining their spouse. Some people will say that it was due to the Victorians that separate bedrooms were still in use, but Queen Victoria had an energetic and pleasurable sex life and always slept with Albert. However, as the bedroom was regarded as the woman's domaine, men often had a bed in their dressing room. Married couples often led separate lives socially, men would regularly come home late, so the separate bed was useful for the wife, who would not be disturbed.

[@TexasHomesteaders]

Yep. Most of them barely tollerated each other with all of those arranged marriages. You can't invite a mistress in with the Queen sleeping next to you.

[@circesgrandmainomaha580]

I think having dalliances conveniently was a side effect of the reason for most royal and upper class marriages-political expediency. Having your own space to go to, especially if you have a spouse that you are bound to for life (which you may not even like, much less love), might be considered a godsend.

[@raefn8036]

Your theories sound good to me! Also, I love Lily Silk. Would definitely recommend bed sheets and sleep wear by them, however, get the higher thread count. It's longer wearing.

[@harrietnelson6048]

Julie, This is excellent history. I just love where you live. My daughter and son visited England a few years ago. The food and culture is fabulous!

[@rebeccaanderson5191]

As a lady of a certain age I point out that your Tudor bed is essentially a "full size mattress" bed which all adults slept in, including couples, until probably the 1960s (first I remember hearing of a "king size" or "queen size" bed). The only other option was twin for singles or children. So your Tudor bed looks typical, although there is a huge four-poster at the V&A that held 8 people and probably came from an inn where travelers were expected to sleep piled in with other travelers in one bed or on the floor.

[@renaenolen8461]

the Tudor bed looked more of a 3/4 size bed. Our first 6 years of marriage was in a full size before trading up to queen. When first married, being cozy is nice😉. After awhile, especially when one or both snores😵 , bigger beds, separate rooms, CPAP☺.

[@pneron2032]

@@renaenolen8461 Tudors were smaller than us

[@HosCreates]

@@pneron2032 true men generally only reached 5'8" and women generally were 4'10- 5'

[@cristinamz2137]

I think it was not just Kings and Queens. I'm Mexican and I can still remember my visiting my grandparents house and seeing that they slept in different rooms as well. My mother told me that she remembers he grandparents also sleeping in separate bedrooms. I truly think that the question should be when did we start sleeping in the same bed and room in the first place.

[@roccoravello4738]

Separate bedroom helps to get better sleep, better rest without interruption, better sex life, keeping the flame for desires burning 🔥. Keeps the snoring partner away from one another!! I have separated bedrooms and I wished here in America we build the Master bedrooms as two adjacent rooms.

[@Zan_Chris]

Is it possible that they slept in separate bedrooms …. Simply because they could? Seems like a luxury during that period to have space away from others while the poor pretty much all slept in the same space.

[@DH007-w2d]

Agree. There were times where whole families and guests would sleep in the same beds. Being able to afford privacy was (and is) a luxury.

[@HosCreates]

Its a middle income victorian ideal and the most wealthy can afford to have many separate bedroom's , many poor people shared a room.