My Abuser Apologized To Me & My Response

[@jacquelinecaron3564]

You are kind to read his apology and offer your forgiveness. You went through the same thing but you made different choices so there is really no justification for his actions. I hope that hearing his apology and having the opportunity to forgive him helps you heal. 💕

[@_SarahElizabeth]

Thank you ❤️

[@MirageandReality]

I agree, I don’t understand his justification at all, it doesn’t make any sense to me. Unless he was also very young?

[@redeemingpatriot3487]

@@MirageandReality or ignorant i dunno anymore i want to know why people do what they do at times. I also think things are more grey but i want to agree with you.

[@scottdalziel1323]

I have had a similar experience when I was a child and I have been fortunate enough to have had a great experience in therapy. I’m free and I have forgiven my abuser. I’m glad you are speaking out. You are brave

[@twontree]

You definitely shouldn’t feel bad for not reaching out. ❤️ You’re amazing and strong and your healing is so important

[@_SarahElizabeth]

Thank you so much!

[@starwyd1798]

He had guts to say his apologies, which is a great step, which means he really felt guilty, god bless both of you

[@masterlee9822]

Dishonest people give fake apologies all the time.

[@SD_Chosen]

​@@masterlee9822 But We Don't Know, So Hope for the Best and Stop Being So Negative

[@masterlee9822]

@@SD_Chosen One should always keep the safety off their side arm when around criminals and villains.

[@stellavega9279]

im speechless, you are so brave and such an inspiration. thankyou.

[@chocimuncha]

Sarah, your videos about what happened to you as a child really help me out as I went through the same. I wouldn’t know what to do if my abuser apologised to me. I find that these days I’m not emotionally attached to my childhood, but I am very aware of how traumatic it was, and how lucky I am to be who I am now. Sending love 💕

[@SD_Chosen]

I Really Admire Your Strength to Forgive and Recognize that He is Repented About His Sins, God Bless You, And Hope for Continued Healing and Blessings in Your Life...I Am Sorry You Had to Go Through This.

[@ChristinaDuke85]

I don’t know whether to be happy for you or envious of you that your abuser apologized or even acknowledged his behavior. I hope this helped you gain something in your healing process. I do know one thing-I appreciate you speaking openly about it! Even though I wouldn’t wish it on anyone sometimes it’s comforting to hear that I’m not the only one. I hope that I can one day comfort someone that way too. You are strong and amazing! I wish I would have had someone my age speak about it when I was younger. I felt so alone when I was a teen. Thank you for sharing!

[@debbiesday8270]

Many times people who were sexually abused as a child can end up abusing as well. Everybody gets hurt when there is childhood abuse. It starts a very damaging cycle and it's heartbreaking. You have a very good heart and a forgiving spirit which many don't have. You have helped break the cycle and so has your abuser by being truly sorry for the hurt he caused and by your forgiveness and understanding of his pain as well. Thanks for having the courage to share this and may God bless you.

[@MrXDreamsOfficial]

Thank you for making this video. In a strange way, you've filled my heart with hope for humanity.

[@_SarahElizabeth]

Thank you

[@LoveOfArt87]

I was molested as kid too and it lead to lifetime of bad eating. I didn’t know it had happened till like a yr ago. I have so many weird memories that I didn’t even know they were real. And a lot of stuff that didn’t make sense until I have a conversation with someone who had the same thing happened and as she was talking about her experience I realized what had happened to me, I didn’t even think the person was real until I asked my older sister and told me my abusers brother had gone to prison for child molestation. I only have 1 memory of it but I know my mind blocked the rest. Anyways once I found out I made so much sense with so many things about me. It sad people do this and I’m glad I can’t remember much. Just realizing it had happened broke my heart but it explained so much...

[@cassiekay1430]

My heart breaks for you Sarah... But you also make my heart smile, your intelligent, strong and so kind. Keep being you. Your helping a lot of us ❤️

[@matthewvillarreal9359]

That was beautiful and amazing! I appreciate that you were able to forgive him and, at the same time, acknowledge that there is still pain because of what happened. Sometimes, people either feel the pain and hate their abuser for it, or they try to forgive their abusers but just end up repressing their pain. But it seems that you are in a place where you can acknowledge that it still hurts and still offer love and grace to someone who hurt you!!! That's brave and amazing! God bless you, and I hope all goes well on your continuing journey of healing! :)

[@mboop127]

Much love and support. Please reach out to the community if you need anything at all.

[@tonys.11]

😢😢😢😢 Sarah Rocksdale you're inspiring and brave and it hurt so much to see you cry.

[@foryourspirit3995]

This is the 2nd video I’ve seen of yours where you’re really, really brave! Well done! Please know this will help SO MANY OTHERS OUT THERE AND AROUND THE WORLD SARAH! Be proud of yourself, your growth and your healing! Remember, if you’re going through something, you’re growing through something. If you choose and feel comfortable doing it, you can help someone else with their healing (not an abuser) in the future. 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️

[@_SarahElizabeth]

Thank you so much for your kind words. Today has been pretty tough, I really appreciate your support!

[@vanessadragon9143]

I had my abuser reach out to me last night via facebook. A similar message from him whwre he apologized and then stated he himself had traumas that messed him up since a young age. He didn’t go into details but wanted to apologize for what he did and hoped i was well. I also was hurt by his message. I was angry. I have also moved past it through healing and therapy. I also do not wish to reach out to him. What you stated reflects exactly that. I don’t need to be his comfort and help his healing by letting him know i accept and forgive. Well, i dont accept his apology but i have moved forth. He will find that too if he continues therapy. I am glad he acknowledged his actions and is taking ownership. This video, your story, helps me feel at peace with my decision moving forward to not reply to him. Thank you for sharing this. As a fellow trauma person, I hope you understand just how much this means to me to know i am not alone (as much as i would prefer to be alone so as to know that others werent affected in this way). Thank you 💗💗

[@anthonypc1]

Thank you for sharing this Sarah. You have so much courage and grace and compassion, and honesty and reason. We need to help more people develop and strengthen these qualities for themselves. You're a real inspiration.

[@amberkendle656]

You are such a beautiful person. You have an amazing heart. Thank you for being so open about all of this. Take care of you!

[@_SarahElizabeth]

Thank you so much! I really appreciate it ❤️❤️❤️

[@shaziaaslam6104]

Brave Brave Brave Girl Heart touching

[@sherpajones]

I just recently asked the police to investigate my abuse. My parents had details of it and provided the police with information. They tracked her down, and she was 12 at the time, and I was 2. She said to the police it was the most horrible mistake she had ever made, and wants to help me in any way she can.

[@_SarahElizabeth]

Oh wow. I'm so sorry for what you've gone through. That's heartbreaking - I hope you're doing ok

[@sherpajones]

I'm doing much better, thanks. I have a great therapist and great friends supporting me. Hearing you share about your story is inspiring.

[@doggo7514]

I know this is super late but I just wanted to say that I hope things in life are going well for you and that you can be able to overcome this type of trauma, and I hope that both you and your abuser got the help that they needed. Child on child sexual abuse is a serious thing that can be overlooked a lot. But I just hope things go well for you

[@ruis115]

you have a great heart for being able to forgive such an act.

[@roymicheal4418]

That was mature of you to forgive him I love you Sarah and I am glad ur better now because I would hate to see u sad.

[@calicat1996]

You are so incredibly strong! I've never experienced any type of sexual abuse, and can't even imagine what you must feel, but I do know had I ever experienced this type of abuse, seeing videos like yours would help me so much! You should be so proud of yourself

[@piplup10203854]

I can't believe someone would dislike. That is beyond me. The struggles and aftermath that comes from being abused and molested are not to be taken lightly and I feel that is so rude. I think it's incredibly strong you even recorded this. You could have never posted it but you did and I commend you for that strength. Nothing but love is being sent your way.

[@larsonanne]

While I would never dislike this video, I am aghast that the abuser told his story in his apology. His apology should have been simply about what he did to her, not why or what he's been through. I think it makes the apology about him and encourages pity on him, and diminishes how destructive he was to her. There's a term for what he did, but I don't recall what it is.

[@shellym1736]

@@larsonanne so true. Apologies should be about what his actions made the victim feel, go through and not about his remorse and regret. I think it's a gasligting method to bring back the limelight on the abuser, and the victim is obviously in a weak state of mind after the abuse so it just makes the victim feel sorry for the abuser. It's extremely difficult to phase out of the situation, might also prepare the victim for further abuse in many cases.

[@JEEEVANJOHN]

Your such an amazing sarah, keep strong, keeping helping and keep being you.

[@jesseserrano8137]

You really are a good person. I'm glad I decided to follow your channel a while ago.

[@emilyanne9513]

You’re a more compassionate person than I am. I don’t think I could feel so much empathy for someone who did something like that to me. You definitely don’t owe him anything and you need to do what is best for you and what will help you heal.

[@juliagoodsonmusic]

You are so brave!! And no, you don’t owe him a goddamn thing. ♥️♥️♥️♥️

[@jennifererickson2355]

I have not seen your channel before but I just want to thank you for sharing this. I'm currently in a similar situation.

[@elenabenini9278]

So much love and support for you Sarah

[@marugotofromMCGI]

God bless you 😣 I can probably never ever imagine going through this. A lot of victims become abusers themselves. It's lesrned behavior and because it's so out of your control you feel helpless trying to understand their "why" but victims know the situation of other victims much deeper than a conversation because they share the same scars. *The cycle ends with us.* Love from MCGI 😞🤗 You're a really strong woman and I'm thankful to God I found this video

[@lauriegockeler8332]

I just want to give you a great big hug!

[@theresaquidi]

If he was a child when he was molesting you, then it should be easier to forgive him. Easier for you to see that a young person makes mistakes. We are a product of our environment. I'm hoping he was a young person when he hurt you. If he was a man and your parents didn't report this.... ugh... your parents need mental help!

[@K1wayne]

True

[@loganross4774]

You gave advice that also applies to victims of physical and emotional abuse.

[@abhisekpal2315]

Sending all my love and prayers for your healing. ❤

[@JonKUhlerLPC]

Sarah, thank you for your brave words. I just happened upon your video. As a professional who works with sex offenders, it was heartening to hear that you are moving forward with your own healing, as the devastation these men cause is incredible. Though I certainly do not know your abuser, a part of me views his letter to you as the kind that is scripted in Sex offender treatment as part of their treatment, which does not necessarily discern veracity of the reality of what they share about their own supposed experience. Part of me doubts that he was molested, as abuse victims become protective, not exploitive. That is different than child-on-child "acting out." If he evidenced a degree of sophistication about trying to ensure you kept the secret, then he likely was not abused as he claims. That is not to minimize your response, but to normalize your intuition, if a part of you has wondered whether he truly is broken and contrite. Again, this is not to detract from your beautiful video, as it is heartfelt, and will encourage many. It is simply to affirm your intuition, if a part of your had begun questioning his legitimacy.

[@emmad.176]

Wow this is so powerful. I was looking at videos to help forgive abuse and came across yours. This is incredibly open and brave of you. The part of that letter that makes me uncomfortable is the bit where they say they don't want you to respond. I feel like anyone receiving a letter like that has the right to respond if they want to, however they may have meant it as more of a courtesy rather than a demand, as in they were trying to say you don't have to feel obliged to respond if you don't want to. That letter does sound genuine but I agree you shouldn't have to help. That role should go to someone else. I'm impressed you've managed to forgive even before receiving that letter. That takes incredible courage and like you've suggested, an oftentimes long process, maybe even a whole lifetime. All the best and now I have to check out your other videos :)

[@svetlananana9609]

Inspirational and strength-giving I can not say much, but I want to say much An enormous Thank You

[@65Drums]

Powerful video

[@_SarahElizabeth]

Thank you so much

[@ericgray2647]

I’m sorry that he made you want to help him. That’s exactly what he wanted you to think, and that’s fucked up. He should have NEVER brought his own problems into this and burdened you with it. You deserve so much better. There is NO excuse for what he did. NONE. He should not have tried to give ANY reasoning or ANY attempt to dodge the FULL accountability for his OWN actions. He should have said exactly what he did and explained why it’s wrong and explained how he understands how this may have affected you, and offered a way to make it right just a little bit and shown how he has taken actions to make things for you and to keep him from assaulting again.

[@eddiegranberry5276]

you are spot on.

[@vincesnetterton5868]

many abusers when found out / caught, justify their actions stating their abuse. many are probably liars

[@eddiegranberry5276]

Yeah and the fact that they do this to try to conjure up sympathy on themselves in the hopes of getting back into society just so they can have another chance at life when in fact they lied because they don't want to face the harsh society. When in fact they are pieces of shit

[@ericgray2647]

I don’t doubt that it’s true what he said. However, I have recently learned you should not put that into an apology. It shows that you are not really apologetic. It’s an attempt to give an excuse and a reason and downplay what you did. I think past trauma can really have an effect on what we do and it can influence our actions. But that’s just it. It’s influence. It doesn’t make the decision for us. Many people have the same issues and they don’t go out hurting others. The fact that they wouldn’t even state what they did to hurt the victim, but they had no problem talking about their own trauma instead of focusing on the other way around makes this not really an apology.

[@davisdavis1347]

I refused an apology from my grandfather who molested me and was demonized and shunned for it. Why the hell would I need an apology 30 years after the fact? Plus another 20yrs of therapy. Abusers just want to apologize to make themselves feel better. I won't give him the satisfaction

[@eddiegranberry5276]

that's good you don't have to forgive him but instead you can forgive him just for yourself and not ever have anything to do with him I hope you can and just let God deal with him.

[@ericgray2647]

That’s 100% your right. And this person gave an excuse which they should not have done.

[@SD_Chosen]

People Don't apologize to make themselves feel better All the time Sometimes it's Genuinely because they Regret their past actions

[@AllYouWantAndMore]

Thank you for sharing this. It was very helpful for my own healing and hopefully for others. There's so much I want to say, but it is very difficult.

[@thetopcat8946]

This is almost my story. He hasn't said sorry, I have forgiven him but if he needs to find God..I only want his healing too. It has to be a choice to step away from it for himself. I am free now. Yes it has taken 3 years for me to heal. It will be 3 years from his sexual abuse to me, I hope he sets himself free

[@WickedBrewz]

Stay strong! I'm proud of you!

[@_SarahElizabeth]

TY! =)

[@WickedBrewz]

Sarah Rocksdale ❤👍

[@km8184]

You are incredible for having the courage to forgive. Thank you! There is a book out called The Gift ,12 lessons to save your life by Dr.Edith Eger. Her story is one of survival and everyone should read it. I hope it can bring you even more healing on your incredible journey! Thank you so much for sharing that you are helping so many people.

[@_SarahElizabeth]

Thank you so much! I’ll check out that book 🥰❤️🙌🏼

[@earthtogabby]

I’m so sorry

[@bjsantana8415]

This is so sad 😞 you Sharing you’re abuse story, reminds me of the time when I Share My suicide story at school i remember crying just like you, you are a strong woman .✊🏻✊🏻

[@terenediony]

Ur such a brave girl and a kind hearted person ..I love you Sarah ..keep rockin❤️xoxo❤️

[@_SarahElizabeth]

Thank you so much!! ❤️

[@donnyhelvey]

Thank you for sharing!

[@user-iq2xn6uu2r]

I love you Sarah so much you’re such a inspiration, not to me but probably to others who are going through these things. I personally reached for my own freedom from abuse but it’s nice to know you are willing to put yourself out there and help others feel less isolated

[@sonjalove8601]

Hey your response for leaving Neverland was sooooooo good!!! You are so brave and speak so well!!!!!! This was so compelling. And you are so strong to not reach out and follow the guidance of your therapist. Truly inspiring.

[@jgreene777]

I'm glad you're able to continue healing. I'm fortunate (?) that my abuser is dead and I never have to worry about seeing him at family functions. Since he was unrepentant, whether or not he was a victim himself doesn't really matter. He was "saved" years before he died (though he didn't care about his sins against other people) and that was actually one of the reasons I started struggling with my faith... "I have to spend ETERNITY in Heaven with this jerk?" That's another way that religion hurts people: we have to forgive people for their sins against us, no matter how heinous, or else WE don't get to get into Heaven.

[@eddiegranberry5276]

you know just because a man in a church say he is saved doesn't really mean he is saved only God can save and since he was unrepentant God knows and is watching and repentance is part of salvation and do to the fact that he wasn't repentant of his actions I can only suspect that he is not in heaven with Jesus because repentance is part of forgiveness of sin so he is probably not in heaven but somewhere in torment for not being truly sorry for his actions.

[@angelicboyne]

So brave to put this out there. Your strength is amazing. All the love and support in the world to you!

[@mingka20]

Wow ..Thank you for sharing your story you’re very inspirational, and very brave to show and talk about this with the world.

[@Mikewee777]

Nobody should be forgiven for these crimes.

[@SD_Chosen]

God Forgives All Crimes If you Feel like They Can't Be Forgiven, then neither can You For Your Sin, How Would you like It if God Told You No Mercy at Judgement Day, None of Us Deserv it, But the Grace of God is Different.

[@Mikewee777]

@@SD_Chosen ok hitler. A god who pardons sex crimes against children and genocide against minorities is not a friend of mine. Read your bible , it encourages both .

[@artosbear]

Thanks for this video you are amazing.

[@brixandblooms]

Who cares what he wants. What an evil prick. I would have told him to rot in hell. I'm not giving an abuser a love letter of forgiveness. Abusers ALWAYS say they were abused and it's not our job to fix them! Let him burn!

[@SD_Chosen]

And How would you like if God told you to burn for your Sins? That there will be no mercy for your Past, Because Sin Is Sin Surely you know that the unmerciful will receive no Mercy

[@VamsyMudilimusic]

Hi friend How are you ? Glad to see you today how was your day don't cry my friend

[@DavitaMarie]

I'M SITTING HERE CRYING

[@_SarahElizabeth]

Sorry - ugh I want to make more meaningful videos and sometimes these topics (esp. the ones that effect me personally) can be hard to share about. Thank you for your support!

[@celiachantal4728]

As a mother of a young girl, where were your caregivers when he took you? How did it happen? Heartbreaking, glad you have boundaries and are healing💗

[@lionofjudahlambofgod9132]

Thats repentance. He acknowledged his wrong and was fine with the consequences if it meant to seeing you again. That means he really was sorry.

[@SD_Chosen]

I Agree Gives Hope That No Matter How Far into Sin You Have Gone You Can Repent and God Can Still Forgive and Save.

[@_TheGreatOne_]

Yeah… i think you should go to the police and get his ass to Jail. He quickly sends out a message after he saw your videos, asking for forgiveness? Appealing to your common sense and pulling on your fillings? just gross.That is guilt not sorry. He was touched as a child but as a grown man who understands good or bad and what happened to him, he made a decision to molest you. How come You are a victim of abuse and you didn’t carry that on someome else? It’s a decision and you chose not to do it! This guy should go to jail for a long time. What makes you think you were the only one who dit it to?Oh Sarah , I wish you have the strenght to really go through with this. You were a little girl, and he knew what he was doing.

[@eddiegranberry5276]

Yeah he knew what he was doing

[@lifeisgreat7583]

I had sex with my brother. He's not related but I was sexualized in foster care. I know I need help. God help me

[@Melancholian]

Niceeee

[@mimirose2292]

You're so so so beautiful and kind and strong...i mean if a person did that to me i dont know if i'll be able even to read his message...#stay_strong❤❤❤love ya #Me_too

[@absyntheaurburgine7659]

I love you so much, Sarah! I can see you’re healing and it makes me so happy! Mere words can’t describe just how proud I am of you. I still have my own demons to confront but watching your videos gives me strength. I started watching you when I was very suicidal. There was one string of hope left in me and I saw your video about not giving up and after bawling my eyes out, I put myself back together and kept trudging on. Your videos make me happy but they’re also crucial for revealing the things I’m too scared to tell my therapist. Thank you Sarah, for everything!

[@sedaher0757]

I kinda wonder if the apology is part of therapy for your abuser.

[@SD_Chosen]

I Have a Question If A Person Does These things and They are truly sorry, Do You think God Forgives them as well?

[@beccaBear1230]

I love you. ❤️

[@_SarahElizabeth]

Hey! I love you! TY!!

[@stephenwalsh9265]

It took a lot of courage for you to speak.

[@ericgray2647]

That’s really messed up that he won’t put into words what he did. He needs to acknowledge it. And it’s messed up that he talked about his own trauma because that is irrelevant.

[@void5239]

His trauma is not irrelevant. Most people could never do what either of them have done to forgive and move on.

[@ericgray2647]

@@void5239 This was more of an excuse than an apology. An apology is somebody acknowledging what they did, holding themselves accountable, and expressing how much they regret it, and telling you what they are doing to make things better. He didn’t even acknowledge what he did. And yes his trauma is irrelevant because many many many people go through trauma and they do not assault others. That was his choice. He clearly did this to make her feel bad and make her feel sympathy, and watch this video. That’s exactly what he did. This is called manipulation.

[@secretlyclever4062]

@@ericgray2647did you not watch the entire video? You sound seriously disgusting human being

[@hamzadarragi1951]

Respect

[@jessieportilo7595]

Hmmm this is very difficult. My reaction to this is wow he is an asshole for coming back and making YOU feel guilty. It seems like he apologized for his own ego. To me forgiveness is not an indulgence in someone else's fantasy. I don't care if he's trying to justify it or tell you how he is subjectively right for his bad actions. I don't think people should forgive out of surrender to evil, forgive but acknowledge what is objectively evil. I think you should seek justice and go to the police if you have not. I'm sorry if this comment opens up some trauma if you have already healed and put it behind you but this is just my thoughts.

[@MegaVega2007]

when i see these videos about sexual abusers, i see myself. i was groomed for a short period of time and hyper-sexual and exposed to p0rn at like 10-15. at 15, i took a picture of my little sibling who was clothed in her sleep, because the adult who was messaging wanted it. i took a picture of her, sent it, and touched her arm. it happned once, and i never touched her genitals. after that i got a wake up call, blocked the people, and started self harming. i think i am as bad as these molesters for this, and i always hated them, i think i might have been at a young age by a woman. i don't know whether i should live or not

[@kevinharrett]

your so beatiful and brave

[@irma545]

❤

[@stephenwalsh9265]

Oh the abuse excuse. BS. Plenty of people who were abused never abuse others. Confused my ass. He had a choice to make and he chose to do evil and crime.

[@scottlaux6934]

Forgiveness is over rated IMO. We were taught it in church to make us more easy marks.. Your anxiety and depression comes from him. He should have to pay for all your therapy and medications. I seriously doubt you were his only victim. And maybe he is still doing it.. Why not out him to all his friends and family and employers.. That to me is courageous. Of course the person who did it to him should pay. Maybe the religious cult you were in was the main abuser. And your parents who did a lousy job of protecting you. The world needs to move beyond forgiveness to preventing abuse of others IMO.

[@eddiegranberry5276]

yes they do like keep those types of people in prison for life.

[@redeemingpatriot3487]

@@eddiegranberry5276 the ones who repeat their crimes i agree

[@redeemingpatriot3487]

Forgiveness is not a weakness but that is your opinion i respect that

[@MegaVega2007]

we definitely need to move on from forgiveness in the christian context. the victim should NEVER be forced to forgive, EVER. they also shouldn't be forced to not forgive the abuser. it is the victim's decision, not your's. but thinking logically, we should absolutely try to give them mental help. prison SA still happens.

[@MrWestGW]

Your amazing

[@percubit10]

😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨💜

[@stephkendrick1250]

❤