My Addiction to Opioids / Percocet.

Hey guys
This video is simply about outing myself, and forcing myself to focus on my addiction, and to come up with a plan to get clean, and better myself.
I'm trying to face my darkness... Talk about my problems, so I can figure out a solution here. 😊
**UPDATE**
The Rewired Soul ENCOURAGED me to start a channel. Then he chose to plug my channel when it benefited him. I never asked for ANYTHING from him, and he asked for a lot from me. I finally began seeing Chris as being the manipulative soul that he is. My opinion of him has changed, I no longer support him in ANY way. I appreciate him for encouraging me to start a KZbin channel, but that's all he did... well, other than cause me (and many others) a lot of unnecessary grief and frustration.
Thanks to Rockin Roberta
/ @rockinroberta9925
And thanks to anyone listening. Your support is greatly appreciated.
Peace and good vibes to all.

[@Polecat-qz5om]

I’m addicted too your not alone. God bless you. So proud of you:)

[@honor2798]

I am so sorry you are going through this, It is great you are speaking about it, you are so brave. Sending love and hugs

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thank you so much, for your kind and supportive comment. 💛😊

[@CMoore8539]

Hi Jason! I know what you mean about doctors. My first doctor was writing me 240 pain pills and 240 Valium every month. Then, after five years, he cut me off, so I stole his script pad, and started writing my own! I got away with it for seven years, but I finally got caught, and paid for it! Basically, the drugs ruined a lot of my life. Still, I continued on the things. Making house payments for two dealers, and drinking along with 300-350mgs. a day of percs, with Xanax occasionally. Last year, April 2017, I quit cold turkey, and It was one hell of a detox! I wouldn’t advise anyone to do it the way that I did it. At home all alone, with no support. I just knew that I was fed up! Things are going so Much Better now! It’s a Fantastic Feeling to take back your Freedom!!!♥️ We Are All Here For You, Jason. If you have any questions or if there’s anything that I can do, just let me know.♥️✌️

[@TheseFourWalls]

That cold turkey you did... Wow, that took strength. I'm so proud of you!! What an amazing job. And thank you for your support! It's so appreciated. I can't wait to make you all proud!! 😊💛😊

[@CMoore8539]

These Four Walls Jason, I’m already proud of you. It takes a Lot of courage, just to admit it. You are on the right path.♥️ Actually, the cold turkey was the only way for me, because I couldn’t taper anything Ever. Ryan Donnelly’s Videos encouraged me that I could do it. I watched other ppls detox videos, the whole time, and it worked. PS I think that some of the other things that you are experiencing is due to the addiction. I believe that you will make a Tremendous Come Back, when this is over. I did, you will too.♥️😊

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thanks for these words. I truly believe a lot of my other issues are tied into the pills as well. I can remember life, before pills.... And it was a hell of a lot better. Thank you for being so supportive, truly! 😊💛 I'm gonna kick this!!

[@CMoore8539]

These Four Walls , I know that you can do it. Jason, the Only regret that you will have, is that you waited this long. It’s so Amazing, to be able to not need Anything! You Are Going To Love having your freedom back! It’s definitely worth fighting for!😊♥️

[@rockinroberta9925]

Cindy Moore love you Cindy! I’m so proud of YOU!!!! Jason Cindy has been a huge support for me on this adventure. What a blessing this is. Virtual hugs you two! Xo

[@gobetween3475]

This. Thank you for being you!! the world needs you!! You are a beautiful human!! I wish more had the integrity you do. The bravery you have. You are making a difference!! thank you for being all of you!!! All of this makes you the beautiful human and influencer you deserve to be!! Take care!!

[@TheseFourWalls]

You're amazing, my dear friend. Your kind comments have lifted my spirits and made my day. Thank you for being a gem, and an increadably genuine, true friend. 💙✌💙

[@lisagray569]

From despair comes triumph; we have to know both to understand. Don't let the past hold on to your quest to the freedom from the anchor of addiction...you are triumphant already in your admitting to yourself what is and what can be. The ”can be” is within grasp! You have a lovely and long life ahead -- you are on your way.👍

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thank you so much, for your beautiful message! This support means a lot! 😊

[@lisagray569]

@@TheseFourWalls Truly support you. Sending lots of positive vibes to surround you. Remember to be mindful of the here and now -- be merciful with your spirit. Being human is a learning thing! Hugs 🤗

[@patcruise1323]

I am only 2 seconds into this video but I want to tell you that I am very proud of you. You can do this. You can get through it! Thank you for speaking out. Also thank you for speaking the truth. Being a recovering addict myself I know what it takes to come out and say these words. But I admire you for doing this on a public platform. It's quite ballsey of you to do this. I remember what it was like when I had to finally break down until the people in my life that I was an addict. I couldn't imagine keeping that secret online and then having to discuss it in front of people that you don't know. Potentially a lot of people. I want you to know that I'm proud of you and when the days get hard just know that there's a better side. It will come you just have to work for it. You have to want it. Don't get me wrong. I see that you do because you're speaking about it publicly. I just want you to know that I am proud of you. Also I want to tell you that you are worth it. 💗💗💗💗

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thank you so much, for your kind and supportive comment! 😊💛✌ I greatly appreciate it!

[@patcruise1323]

@@TheseFourWalls I was watching some of your more recent videos and you happened to mention that you are very empathetic. Also I have seen several where you use the saying "I need to..." with this or that. First off remember it is all a process where each individual step and each new coping mechanism really deserve specific focus at specific moments and take all the time that is necessary to get it nailed down to the best of your ability. But also I was wondering if you had looked into codependency at all? I am a daughter of an alcoholic father and I became a drug addict too. But figuring that out and finding recovery I also found that I was codependent as well. I recover using NA meetings or AA meetings as well as Al-Anon meetings. So really I guess my question is have you looked into al-anon and also have you looked into codependency at all? I know you are pretty fresh out of the gate with recovery right now but after some time I would suggest looking into it and seeing what you resonate with. Whenever I came in and found out that not only was I an addict but also a codependent I was told that I was a double winner. Which to me at the time, that meant double the work. But honestly it was something that changed my life and that was super helpful. It has really helped me and my relationships with everyone around me. I ended up realizing that I had learned alot for my parents. My dad is an alcoholic and my mother is codependent over him and of course her children. Im not blaming it on them. I take full responsibility. But my point is sometimes you are so close to something that it's hard to pinpoint all of your problems that you might need support with. So get a good grasp on what you have going right now. But it could be something worth looking into. Wishing you all the best and if you ever need support I am here. 💗💗💗💗

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thank you so much for your comment. I had a similar parental experience... My dad was an alcoholic/addict. My mom didn't know who she was, if she wasn't trying to fix him. And I, in turn, began operating in the same way... If I wasn't trying to fix someone, I didn't know who I was. My therapist and I began talking about my codependency right before I started canceling most of my appointments. So I truly appreciate you bringing this up, cuz it's pushed it back to the forefront of my mind. I know I need to begin working on my codependent traits. I have actually scheduled a therapy appointment for next week, and I will be sure to bring this up to her, and get back on track with this. I have begun joining NA and AA meetings online. (At a site called intherooms.com) and have found the insight and support I've discovered there to be very beneficial. I hope to develop the strength to make it to meetings, in person, soon. But the online meetings are really nice, in the meantime. Thank you for your thoughtful comments/questions. It truly touches my heart, that so many kind people have shown me such acceptance and support. 😊💛✌

[@theKaufmanTapes]

Jason . . I hope things are going well for you. It seems that most people including kids are on some kind of medicines. I intend to stay with my low dose suboxone for a long time, after all, I was on pain meds for 18 years! Mostly tramadol and Vicodin sometimes Percocet from the ER. . . then of coarse there was cymbalta Zoloft . . all for chronic pain from Lyme disease. Since taking suboxone 1/2 milagram every morning I feel so wonderful . I never want to go back to feeling that way. The longest journey starts with a single step . .

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thanks for sharing your wisdom, experience, and your story. I appreciate you being here. ✌💛

[@Blondie727]

Roberta sent me here. I too suffer from agoraphobia/anxiety & addiction issues. I am a chronic pain sufferer who got addicted to oxycodone and other opiates. I’m currently on suboxone which immensely helps me. However every month I have to drive 20 minutes out of my “safe zone” for my suboxone program which is hard for me. You’re not alone Jason. Good luck! 👍🍀💜

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thank you for sharing your story with me. I have always felt it helps when we can find things in one another that we identify with. And you're right, it makes us feel less alone. Thank you for being here with me, on my journey. And I wish you all the best on yours. 💛😐💛

[@Blondie727]

These Four Walls You’re quite welcome. I noticed that the recovery community here on KZbin is amongst the most compassionate of people. Also, please don’t feel bad about yourself if you need Suboxone. It’s not like the full agonist opioids. It helped me with cravings, drug seeking behavior & relapse prevention especially since I struggle with mental illness. Whatever route you do choose; I wish you the best. You got this!!! 😊 💛

[@dustin628]

That title really resonates with me!

[@cece3194]

Hi Jason. You've got guts, young man! Don't beat yourself up. Those pain pills are soooo tempting and we just don't realize where they lead us until we are there. That's the past. This is now. So, congratulations, you've taken the first GIANT step! You've decided you want to stop. That's freakin' Awesome! I remember when I had had enough. I'd spent so much I was badly in debt. I had so much guilt but how to stop, right? It was right when suboxone became available. What a blessing! I hope you check it out with your dr. Not all dr.s can prescribe it but I'm sure there are probably some in your area. It fills the receptors partially so no craving or withdrawal plus it has a blocker so if you get tempted and take other opiate pills you won't get high. They may get you sick so better just to stick with the suboxone. If you just want to try cold turkey and not do the suboxone by all means give it a shot but why torture yourself. You can always wean off the suboxone later. You can do it! God bless you, Jason. I'll be praying for you! I'm looking forward to your updates!

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thank you so much, for your advice and encouragement. All the support I've felt is so greatly appreciated! 😊😊

[@rockinroberta9925]

Agreed Suboxone was a great help for me as well. Good luck at your Doc appt today! I can’t wait to hear how it went!!!

[@yvonnespearing]

kratom works dude, try it I no its a addiction but it is way healther.helps with pain.Im older so just saying. Go dude,

[@TheseFourWalls]

@@yvonnespearing thanks, I'm gonna try it

[@SabiLewSounds]

I am two months late on this! I see that your newest video says you are sober. I hope to watch it after work... Trying to sleep, I am but oof... I hope you are doing well and I am glad you put this out there!

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thank you for your supportive comment. I'm almost two months sober, and one of the biggest reasons is because of all the incredible support I've had. I feel very lucky, and genuinely happy. 😊💜 Have a great day! (I subbed to your channel, btw. You've got a beautiful voice!!)

[@CMoore8539]

Congratulations on Day 4, Jason!!!💙♥️💚💜💛

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thank you so much! The support keeps me chugging along. 😊💛😊

[@kerryirving2949]

Thank you for being honest! & I’m SO GLAD that your gonna get help! My ex is addicted to opaites ( haven’t spelt that right) the difference between him & you though is he’s not got help & never has but your gonna!

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thanks for being so supportive of me on this journey. I appreciate it, more than I can express. 😊💛😊

[@kickinaddiction]

Congrats on admitting and sharing that you have a problem, that is always the first step in recovery. I have also struggled for 13 years and only had a month off in all those years. Our stories are similar. Have you tried cold turkey or tapering yet? Have you researched suboxone? Congrats on never getting to heroin. I look forward to following your journey and watching you beat this hell on earth. You have the ball rollin let’s see what you can do with it 👍. It’s most def possible so do not give up hope, EVER! 💪 I found you via Rockin.

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thank you for your support. It feels good to have this out in the open now. Yes, I've tried cold turkey several times... But without much luck. So, I'm going to be honest, and talk to my doc about Suboxone. I just don't think I can go cold-turkey.

[@rockinroberta9925]

💗💗💗💗

[@kickinaddiction]

These Four Walls have you tried to taper? If I was to do this all over again I would have tried to taper off the opiate before jumping to suboxone and then if you fail at that then try suboxone. I’m curious what apprx dose per day you’re taking? You don’t have to tell me but that would give us a better idea of how deep you’re in it and possibly better options for recovery. I personally was up to 300 mg per day at my worst. Bye bye money. There are soooo many people struggling with the same thing as us so don’t feel too ashamed about it because you are on your own journey to recovery. I am so glad to be off painkillers and I pray that I never go down that road again. I’ve been tapering off suboxone for about a year now and am just about done.

[@TheseFourWalls]

Your questions are more than welcome. I take about 100 mgs (of Percocet) daily. I have tried tapering before, and I was down to about 15 mgs once. But, unfortunately I just felt so depressed all the time - and my sleep was so awful that unfortunately I just started taking more again to "fill that void". I'd like to do it without Suboxone …. I just feel discouraged, cuz I have tried several times on my own. And I really want to be off these things... I'm proud of you; for where you're at in your recovery.

[@CMoore8539]

These Four Walls You are Not alone this time. You have All of Us with you, supporting you. We will not let you down. Sending you lots of Love and Hope. You Can Do This.😊♥️✌️PS If you want my number, I’d be happy to help you in anyway possible.

[@michaelpercival3444]

Well done for sharing, so brave sending ❤️.

[@TheseFourWalls]

😊💛😊

[@sarabrown5011]

Proud of you!!! Came from Robertas channel. Try to remember that each min passing is a min closer to having your life back!! It takes someone strong as shit to admit this and finally realize they need help. If you fail, get right back up and dust yourself off and keep going. Look forward to future videos of your success. Never give up...you're almost there!!! Nothing but love and positivity sent your way.

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thank you so much for the support, Sara. It means a lot. 😊💛

[@rockinroberta9925]

Sending warm thoughts!!! Xo

[@vegasbarbie4186]

I can totally relate. I’m so scared to go through the withdrawals but I know this will eventually kill me. I definitely need help. I can’t do it by myself, I thought I could.

[@TheseFourWalls]

Talk to your doctor. Medically assisted treatment might be your first substantial step toward recovery. You can do it!

[@BasedOnATrueStory_]

I’m going through this now but it’s the street “30” version. I hope you’ve been clean through these three years ❤️

[@ashlynwhitfield8051]

You are so brave, so damn brave.

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thank you so much, for your kind comment. ☺💜✌

[@sabbithablood5219]

Hi! I love your channel. My only problem is that its a bit quiet! I still struggle to hear you even though I turned volume right up! I can gather from the comment section that you are coming off something for the past few days so for that I applaud you and your determination and courage!👍👏

[@TheseFourWalls]

Yes, I apologize for the poor volume. This was one of my earlier videos, and what I was propping my phone up on was actually covering part of the microphone. Plus I tend to talk quiet when I'm uncomfortable. This was a hard one to make. Thank you for your support, your congratulations and your kindness. I recently celebrated my first year of soberity from pain killers, and it was the kindness and support of strangers that carried me in my darkest moments. 😊🌻✌

[@sabbithablood5219]

@@TheseFourWalls you don't have to be apologetic my friend! Not your fault if my hearing is a bit off! You speak quietly yes but that's not any criticism! I'm delighted for you with the progress you are making and your subscribers are wonderful people who it is a pleasure to support!❤👍🙏

[@TheseFourWalls]

@@sabbithablood5219 Thank you! I've been extremely lucky to have such wonderful people stand beside me through this process. Not only has all the support helped me get sober, it's also been a wonderful reminder that the world is filled with empathetic, caring people. Being agoraphobic, it's easy to lose sight of that. Thank you. I'm so happy to have you here with us. 💙🙏💙

[@angieirvin200]

Hi Jason!

[@TheseFourWalls]

Hi Angie! Nice to meet you! Thanks for being here! 😊💛😊

[@OldManFire]

Hey Jason, i just sent you a message on facebook (i am Efram Schweiger) and would like to link up with you and offer some *technical* advice that might help to improve your videos. content-wise, your videos are fantastic!

[@TheseFourWalls]

Any advice is welcome! Thanks for your support, Efram. It's greatly appreciated. 😊

[@mamashenny8811]

Hey… I don’t know if you have the same KZbin but I just wanted to say me and you both. I’ve been clean for 2years and I’m on Suboxone and that’s a REAL bug help. Helps make me feel “normal”