My Dad And His Wife Are Trying To Replace My Mom Who Passed Away r/Relationships

[@madambutterfly1997]

I don’t give two shits if she has PPD she needed to hear that. Plus she should’ve kept damn mouth shut about the chopsticks and calling you an embarrassment

[@Schwiegermutter]

Should have slapped the ppd out of her

[@robertx8020]

And how can peple be on SIL's side? Because she has kids? So now 'having kids' is a 'get out of jail for free card' to be an AH? I wonder if MIL keeps saying that when SHE is the one being called an embarrassment?

[@madambutterfly1997]

@@robertx8020 well that's just silly

[@madambutterfly1997]

@@robertx8020 by that logic the crack whore down the street that tried to burn your house down has a get-out-of-jail-free card because she has kids

[@robertx8020]

@@madambutterfly1997 🤣

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

This is just the wrong way to introduce a step parent. Forcing your child to accept them, so quickly after their mom passing, and expecting the child to just pretend the step mom is the real mom, will just ensure they’ll never have a relationship.

[@deusdamnit]

You think that the stepmom had OP at 14, to a 28y/o, who then went on to marry a completely different woman who assumed the role of mother for the kid? Surely, you realize how insane that sounds? It's not impossible, but there are obviously much more plausible scenarios. The first being that dad was cheating on OP's mom with step-mom and step-mom can't have kids, so she convinced dad she'd make a good mother. Then, they deluded themselves into thinking that it was true and OP was just stubborn.

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

@@deusdamnit I wasn’t paying attention to ages when I thought that. I just thought that since the dad was really trying to make the step mom be the actual mom, that according to reddit insane plot twists, she was secretly the real mom all along or something.

[@LilFeralGangrel]

yeah you can't force a relationship.

[@dusk938]

Story 2: She's clearly NTA, and it's a textbook case of "If you can't take it, don't give it." She call her own cousin an embarrassment for not knowing how to use chopsticks? And at a sushi restaurant, were you don't use chopsticks, but she can't be called an embarrassment for raising two shit kids, and fucking a married man? Got to love it when people insult their betters and then start screaming when they turn around and tell them exactly how it is.

[@meirin5316]

when i see shit like that i would have been like listen woman... the only embarrasment is u for trying to look so much smarter for knowing how to HOLD CHOPSTICKS *ghasp*. i do shit like this so often and really cant help myself. i know this isnt smart but meh. fck ah's!

[@robertx8020]

yeah but yeah but yeah but..she is giving the mother/MIL grandkids so she is ALWAYS right /s

[@uNkrEaTIvArTs]

Also: Not every goddamn pregnant person has post partum depression after birth that is a lame excuse

[@meirin5316]

@@uNkrEaTIvArTs it is actually pretty common yet it is no excuse

[@meirin5316]

@@uNkrEaTIvArTs i know it isnt the same but as someone with major depression (yes my issues are diagnosed hooray i guess), cptsd and borderline.. i have never attacked anyone verbally or physically because of it. the sad truth is that many use those kinda diagnosis' as excuses to do so and being "not at fault" for their behaviour

[@jackspring7709]

Story 2: When someone humiliates you in public, all bets are off. NTA - but oh, man, she is surrounded by AHs. I feel bad for her having such a family.

[@owl7072]

Story 2: "How dare you be so mean!" They said, after sitting there and watching as she publicly berated and insulted Op over _~checks notes~_ chopsticks

[@ynmonroe]

Through the whole dinner at that! And if no lies were told by OP, why the problem with harsh truths? Forget the chopsticks insults. She called OP stupid too. WTH was the mom and sister thinking to just expect OP to put up with that? And how did that behavior not also draw attention from the other tables?

[@gregorsmirnow6337]

How on earth can that therapist justify reconciling with his dad and "stepmom"??

[@pippo17173]

One that is probaly bought and payed by them or maybe the realistic answer, this is a therapist who just BS their way threw school

[@kaykay8855]

Most therapists are not immune to, what I call, ‘toxic family values’. A lot of therapists (the toxic ones) have it in their heads that they have an ability to reunify broken families.

[@295Phoenix]

Many therapists just suck.

[@meirin5316]

​@@295Phoenix sadly true

[@kuroiflyerneko]

The ones that are of BUT FAAAMMMIIIILLLY variety.

[@DjGacha2006]

Story 1- Dude WTF you can’t just replace a mother like shes property!? WTF is wrong with that crazy couple?

[@PinkMarshmallows]

Story 2: OP is NTA. That was funny AF! 🤣🤣🤣 The cousin needed that wake up call. Story 3: NTA. OP needs to run and divorce her husband. This will end VERY badly.

[@jannekelind1220]

Story 3: oh yes! He will always choose his family over his wife.

[@jofip9199]

Her comeback was gold

[@robertx8020]

OP is not the AH but IS a very poor judgement of ppl ...you can't tell me the husband only behaved this way at the wedding day? There MUST have been red flags before

[@Lillireify]

Story 3 - I see a divorce in the future, if the husband will continue to act like a doormat towards his family. This is insane how OP was disrespected and they're expecting her to apologize? Over her dead body, lol.

[@redacted8005]

She should have skipped the honeymoon and gone straight to an annulment! Less expensive and just as effective!

[@paulinadeboer3604]

Yup annulments are more easy you know now he wont stand up for you.

[@CozyCabinLife5301]

Get gun safety courses, buy a fire arm and wait until the family wrongfully trespasses. Call the police, tell them the situation and warn them while the police are listening. Then if they don't leave? Handle business.

[@nathansheldahl]

@@CozyCabinLife5301 like your idea. If OP’s state has the castle doctrine, that’s when I would “forget” who they are and go from there.

[@AndyyWithAY]

If they weren't cheating, they moved way too fast for any relationship, let alone one involving the parent of a child who just lost a parent. It's been nearly a decade. They have learned absolutely nothing. Get a restraining order and file police reports if you can. The relationship cannot be repaired. They abused OP when he couldn't go anything, now he's an adult and can choose NC. They are not safe to be around your child. I completely disagree with that therapist. Fire him/ her urgently. Who is the snitch?? Who told them where you live.

[@pippo17173]

When I see post like this, I am just assuming they are cheating because how forceful they are doing

[@dillongage]

Yeah I always shake my head when people do stuff like that. "Oh weve been married 4 years and living together for 5." How long have you know eachother? "...... 5 years." Yeah, I smell a divorce coming.

[@meirin5316]

​@@pippo17173 my mum had a dood not even a month after my dad died. guess what. that dude is now driving my 14 year old brother to near suicde by being unbelieveable cruel to him. i hate parents that show no consideration for the children and let their partners abuse their children. i am so unbelieveably upset when i hear those kinda stories cuz it reminds me of my brother...

[@pippo17173]

@@meirin5316 the sad life of someone who is afraid to die alone yet ignores the red flags. Hope you two are away from that if it's still happening.

[@meirin5316]

@@pippo17173 sadly its a current issue. i am hella afraid of my tiny brother. i am nearly double as old as him and try to help him cope with it. thank you

[@Russman67]

Story 1: The timing of the mother dying and Dad being in a relationship is suspect at best. Dad and his new wife are trying too hard to make the happy family thing work. She should have got the clue when OP started correcting her as a teen. And ask for the soon-to-be ex brother-in-law, what a way to nuke your own marriage, by trying to include people that have been identified as toxic in everyone's lives, because FAMILY! 🤦‍♂️

[@pippo17173]

Ya i'm sorry but there is no way cheating is involve here. Like how did this relationship went by so fast? Something scummy is going on and I doubt grief is involve because I just don't see that.

[@aleahlrb]

OP mentioned that the soon-to-be-ex-BIL and the sister already had problems going on, add that to the fact that stbe-BIL's reason was that "they needed all the help they can get," I think he just wanted to monopolize the sister and have her cater to his needs only. With that logic, then it'd make sense why he thought getting OP's toxic dad and stepmom would be a good thing.

[@Azulakayes]

Dad was a cheater. No doubt about it.

[@Bluebayou88]

Not even just the timing. The way the stepmom thought she could literally just jump in and be his mom all of a sudden. As if his real mom never existed is weird and disturbing. So even if his dad did have nothing to do with his mom’s passing, that loony stepmom for sure did. OP should start referring to his stepmom as “the beldam” (from Coraline) because that’s the vibe I get.

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

Second update: Hello, it has been a while. Some people wanted updates. Decided my profile would be best to post. Not sure if any one will see it but.. In the weeks leading up to my wife giving birth, things were stressful. I ended up having my first panic attack. That was not fun. My wife helped me through that one. BIL tried to apologize and get back with my SIL. But F'ed that up by trying to explain himself again on how he was in the right by reconnecting my parents and my family. After that, their divorce has been moving quickly. My wife giving birth was an amazing experience (for me). The moment I held my child for the first time amazed me. How can I love something so tiny, and who I just met so much so quickly. Both baby and my wife are doing really well. My wife started saying she feels like a cow. I'm not sure how to make her stop. But she keeps randomly moooing at me. My dad and his wife tried to show up at the hospital. Still not sure how they found us or knew where we were. But staff blocked them and covered for us. Like a bunch if you said we would start running into them randomly around town. Mainly grocery/ shopping stores. Even if I drove out of my way. We would sometimes bump into one or both of them. Law enforcement still says they are not doing anything against the law and don't seem dangerous/malicious. We did our best to ignore them or stay home or have a family member get the items. My therapist has sure earned her paycheck the last few months. My lawyer is trying their best, but the laws I feel are against us. "Innocent until proven guilty." Or in this case,"Nothing is dangerous until after it is." Or "hurry up and wait until something bad happens, then we might do something." It is super frustrating. We moved! Now, I never want to do that again. Good family helps. But with a newborn and crazy people around, it was stressful. I know it doesn't sound possible, and I'm still in disbelief, but my in-laws are amazing and got us in contact with a friend of theirs. Long story short, these friends wanted to down size since all of their kids moved out. Told in-laws and brought them over. We ended up coming up with a really good deal. Our new home is bigger on more land but needs a lot of work (still baby friendly). It is old and outdated, but we have been making it ours. (We are not rich by any stretch of the imagination. We have a good network around us. I'm also doing 99% of the work to the house myself. SIL moved in and helped us make it possible.) Since moving, we had not seen my dad or his wife. That was until about 2 weeks ago. I was going to update and did write all of the above then. Since my lawyer contacted me saying my dad reached out and wanted to talk. I tried to say hard pass, but they advised me by saying, "I think it would be in your best interest." We set up a date and time in public. 3 days later, at a coffee shop, we met up. Even though we were early, they were waiting for us. It was just my wife and I (also a paralegal from my lawyer's office undercover). I could see the disappointment in their eyes that our child did not come with us. It started awkward AF. They started some bs small talk, but I just said, "What do you want?" Well. My dad's health is not well and is going downhill steadily. May have 2 ish years at most. They showed scans, doctors' notes, tests, and other items to prove it. I was quiet the entire time they talked, and all I could think about is "that sucks for him." It was like getting news that someone you knew of when you were a child died or is sick(like a neighbor or an old babysitter). For me, no real emotion or feelings because I feel like I didn't have a real connection with them. My wife knew I was irritated and tried to silently calm me down. When they were done, I said something to the effect of "I'm sorry this happened to you. I hope you get better." Then, I got up to walk out. His wife opened her mouth and said something like, "That's it? That all you have to say? YOU OWE IT TO HIM TO..." I didn't let her finish and went off on them. I said everything that I had been saying in my head for years. A practiced monolog I started when I was a teen. Highlights include but are not limited to; how he OWED me more than anything. How he ruined any type of relationship the moment he started thinking with his dick. When he tried to erase my real and only mom. Neglect, abuse, over punishment, the works. Then, I finished with my real mother, died when I was 14. Pretend I did as well because that is when he (my "dad") became dead to me. Now, looking back, I find it in a way funny that my 5 foot 4 wife was "holding back" a 6 foot 3 200+ guy. But they kinda looked like fish opening and closing their mouth. My wife then "escorted" me away. When we got the car, I had my second panic attack. But since things have been quiet but still fresh. I'm struggling but working through it. When my wife notices me zoning, she just hands me our child, and things get better. Sorry for the long read if you are still here. I hope you all have a wonderful day, and may your life be blessed.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Chopstick story: I am behind OP all the way here. Considering Sarah sounds like a real piece of work. OP's mum and sister should have told the cousin to button it, not make excuses because "she's a mum with a 3rd new baby", good grief, even I knew not to be a b-word after having my 1st baby, (even before that)... unless there was a good reason to.

[@colorcutie97]

Agreed. The family is letting Sarah get away with it and it seems like this is a pattern of letting her act that way. I can’t imagine letting anyone talk to someone like that right in front of me and doing nothing especially if it was my own family! They let her go on being a complete AH the whole dinner, up to dessert! And then when OP finally gives her a taste of her own medicine all of a sudden they don’t want conflict?! Big fat nope.

[@angelaa7388]

"You probably got so good at using chopsicks from eating his wife's leftovers" is the best clap back ever. Sometimes we can channel the Spirit of the Super Bitch and say those things in the moment that usually you would think of in the middle of the night and go, "damn, thats what i should have said."

[@eye-chan1711]

Story 2: NTA. Postpartum depression is no excuse for being rude. It honestly sounds like she does have it. Her life probably sucks and she wants to pretend like it's so much better by putting down other people.

[@AndyyWithAY]

How does the wife's sister's husband know OP's dad and stepmom?? And his soon to be ex wife was right to leave. I hate when people decide that YOU need to reunite with toxic people. Who TF are you to decide what someone else needs? I would absolutely leave a partner over that if we didn't have anything like kids tying us together. Huge betrayal

[@redonyx5428]

BIL is most likely one of those "But Fammmily" types. Who couldn't or doesn't understand how OP could cut off his father and the father's wife. Probably saw it as his duty to "reunite" them as he knows better. He only realized he fucked up when OP told the whole story

[@packergeek10]

It's always insane to me when somebody can't come to grips that just because you had a good family dynamic doesn't mean everybody else does. So many people can't mind their own business and end up sabotaging their own relationship.

[@KeyClavis]

I'd be willing to bet that OP's dad paid BIL for the info. Otherwise, the discomfort he expressed at the planning session doesn't make much sense. It sounds like guilt.

[@wildblue0]

My paranoid mind is saying dad or stepmom did some cyber stalking of the inlaws and engineered a meeting. For example, if BiL wore a Rotary logo on fb, maybe they joined as a way to "settle into their new community".

[@brie1162]

The BIL is the husband of sister of OPs wife. And betting here that the sperm donor of OP told a wildly different version of events, as they usually do

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 ma'am you've done a bang up job embarrassing yourself. Your whole existence is an embarrassment. Chopsticks are difficult to use at first for those of us raised on spoons and forks. I audibly gasped at the part about the other baby being born a week a part. This ISN'T postpartum depression. She was laughing and ki-ki-ing until it was turned on her. OP is firmly NTA. This cousin has been asking to have her ass handed to her for years. If I was out, that would have been the highlight of my night. I love to get the tea 💅🏾 If I was out by myself I'd text my mom then tell her about it when we got home. OP was definitely provoked. And those clapbacks?? I'm just in aww

[@LunaP1]

Not postpartum depression. It's Bitch-partum delusions.

[@colorcutie97]

I can only dream that my comebacks would be half as good if I were ever in a situation like that. Everyone was fine with the cousin being obnoxious and downright ridiculously mean to OP until she gave it right back. Those comments are not ones of someone with PPD, they are words of a POS who is used to getting away with being an AH to whoever. I agree, she had it coming and she’s lucky it wasnt worse. he fact that the family didn’t immediately stand up for OP before that is just wrong. They got to the effing dessert before OP snapped, that’s WAY longer than it should’ve taken. Seems like this dynamic has been going on for a while because they were more than happy to let OP sit there and take it as long as it wasn’t effecting them.

[@kaykay8855]

Story 1: NTA. I heard this story before, I will never understand why parents always push for their kids to ‘forget’ their deceased parent and welcome their new ‘mom/dad’ with open arms. Story 2: NTA. Why is it ok for cousin to insult op but when op claps 👏 back 👏 suddenly she’s the bad guy. Story 3: does husband’s sister have a crush on him?

[@robertx8020]

1. because parents can be AHs too 2.Because she has kids and is the golden child 3. Yes and his mother wants her to be with her son

[@martha4276]

Story #2 holy crap, that was an amazing comback. I physically reacted after it was said lol

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

And finally, Story 3. The family told OP she should have just let it go, and not confronted Lisa about her behavior. Well, that is where the problem stems from, as no one confronts Lisa about her terrible behavior, so she just keeps on behaving poorly.

[@charityquill4965]

If the new husband refuses to back op on this, annulment is an option 😉

[@ynmonroe]

Not only do the new in-laws suck, but the new husband is too milquetoast for words. She should have wait to marry him. Sounds like this isn't the first time she saw signs that he was a go along to get along type; at least where is family is involved. Has OP not considered the fact that the family is going to try to insist that any kids they have be raised in this religion? I can't see the husband taking a stand there or even protecting the kids if it's easy to ignore. She made a huge mistake, IMO. Not to say that it's completely a no-go, but they should have worked the kinks out first.

[@diamcole]

I just don't understand what they expected. I mean seriously, had the dirt even settled over her grave before they tried to systematically remove any trace of her from OP's life? Damn...

[@sardonically-inclined7645]

Story 3: NTA. I wonder how the interspecies breeding would work. You know, since she clearly married a jellyfish.

[@GiordanDiodato]

more like an octopus

[@Nukie144]

Nah, octopuses are intelligent

[@TheEmpressReborn]

​@@Nukie144 Octopi. But yeah, don't insult them.

[@marahbaker8615]

Story 2 : that comment about learned to use chopsticks by eating the wife's leftovers is absolutely amazing

[@bioshockbrat9171]

Story 1: I'd have SNAPPED a long time ago if they tried to erase my mother; we are very close. How have they not learned from a decade of lack of contact. Does OP need to spell it out.

[@LilFeralGangrel]

Story 3: i think she should just have the marriage annulled, her new husband has just shown that he is spineless and that his wife is second to his sister. this will not end well.

[@alijones743]

My brain was screaming annulment all the way through 😂

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

Story 2. I had postpartum depression in both of my pregnancies. PPD doesn't turn a woman into a rude, obnoxious, asshat. Instead, most women with PPD have crying spells, anxiety, difficulty sleeping more, they have intense feelings of sadness, despair, and irritability. OP's cousin is just judgmental, a bully, and a B. She is most likely jealous of OP, because OP is living their best life, has freedom, and is not saddled down with 3 kids from 3 different men like her cousin. I mean I am a huge supporter of women having sexual freedom, and I hate it when a woman is judged because she has a sexual past. But, I don't think it is ok for a woman to have multiple children from multiple partners, ESPECIALLY when those partners are married to someone else.

[@ScooterBond1970]

I'm certainly no expert on pregnancy but I also rolled my eyes when they trotted out the PPD excuse. I mean, even someone as dumb as me knows PPD doesn't work like that. Seriously people!

[@D-M-K-1-2]

Story 2: Not gonna lie, I would LOVE to see someone get put in their place at a restaurant. It's dinner and a show!

[@dusk938]

"Waiter, could I grab some popcorn if you have any?"

[@MrJpaynebb]

Ok, so cousin is a mistress? OP did say her baby is a week or so in age to her boyfriend's baby. This man has a kid with both his wife and the mistress. Cousin is definitely messy.

[@Schwiegermutter]

I would pay for that

[@Azulakayes]

Me too. I would have whipped out my phone and shouted 'fight! fight! fight!' and probably followed them out to see the end of it. Nothing's more entertaining than a bunch of idiots insulting each other...a wild Karen comes close though.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

I would start clapping "you tell her!!" 😂😂

[@chloerandle5513]

Update for story 2: op cousin confronts her bf/hubby and he confirmed it is true. Op apologized in the end for being rude but the cousin didn't apologize back. The family is still upset with op.

[@lizzietheelf]

Why tf did op apologize. That is some bs and should have not happened. Cousin was being a total bitch and deserved that comeback from op

[@Schwiegermutter]

Fuck em then!

[@robertx8020]

It should be ex family soon!

[@Azulakayes]

Cousin is trifling with her homewrecking adulterer boyfriend. It is okay for OP not to bother with them, they add nothing to her life.

[@trashcan_princess]

Story 1: next time your father's wife tries to call herself your mother just say: "I didn't know my father is a pedophile..." that shut them up real quick.

[@quartzskull8772]

What?

[@trashcan_princess]

@Quartz Skull the father's wife, is 14 years older than OP. She keeps calling OP her son.

[@quartzskull8772]

@@trashcan_princess right but how does that have anything to do with pedophilia? Being a pedo is being attracted to children which she was not at the time of dating unless you really believe they were dating for that long

[@carlrood4457]

@@quartzskull8772 The point is that if she were his actual mom, his dad would have gotten her pregnant at 13 or 14. Making that claim without making it clear she's actually the stepmom has certain connotations.

[@pippo17173]

Honestly counting the age, I'm legit barfing at the possibility of not only cheating, but grooming as well.

[@indiashante1560]

Story 1: The step-mom is only 14 years older than Op. That alone would be weird to me. Dad moved on WAY TO FAST and then had the audacity to announce their engagement on Op's birthday. They need to leave Op alone FOREVER.

[@mogulmade]

Story 2: Three baby daddies including a newborn with a married man... Op is NTA by a mile. I wish I could have seen this delicious clapback 😄😄

[@Azulakayes]

Cousin is as messy as an overflowing dumpster...wish I could have seen that

[@NemFX]

Story one: cut all contact. Understand that the Titanic was doomed long before it was entirely underwater.

[@trewade2523]

Ohhhh SNAP!!! Story 2. I would have had to move tables when that started if I couldn't move to their table I'd have to get close enough that I didn't miss a single word 😅😂.

[@LunaP1]

I would've been cheering OP on.😂😂😂😂

[@LilFeralGangrel]

This is a common mistake lots of people make, they think that because they're dating a parent that they therefore "deserve" the same role as a parent, that they "deserve" the title of mother or father. From a kid's perspective you are a stranger. You have no authority, all of it will be viewed as illegitimate and trying to force it will inevitability cause them to resent you.

[@Emi_TheWinged]

Story 2 Never understand the ETA when in situation like that. If a person talk shit to you/embarasses you/insult you/laugh at you/make fun of you/joke at your expense/ YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO DEFEND YOURSELF and throw the same insults back. The first person that does it is at fault ALWAYS, the second that follows defending is NOT the asshole. Don't dish what you can't take and then you won't be slapped with the consequences of your actions.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Any wedding I've been to, she would've gotten the mic taken from her too. She has an unhealthy attachment to her brother 🤮 Everyone but OP sucks here. She needs to really reevaluate this relationship. It's now a known fact he will NOT stand up for you and your relationship

[@LunaP1]

OP missed the opportunity to take the mic and say, "Listen here. We can talk about you wanting to fuck your brother six ways til Sunday or we can talk about mine and my husband's wedding. We can't do both, bitch."

[@meirin5316]

dang i know i would be a piece of shit but to make fun of her while the speach i would have shouted daaaang watch leas incest porn you freak while ripping the mic from that b

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Yep, I would seriously rethink my marriage if my new husband can’t stand up for me! After listening to all these stories like this one, I have had my eyes opened to a lot of bad indicators I have overlooked in my 58 yrs 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@robertx8020]

Well her own family members were on her side so they were not AH's

[@CrimsonAngelWinges]

Good news for OP her marriage is probably new enough that she can get an annulment.

[@jeancarbonneau6966]

In story 2, OP isn't the asshole here. I don't care if the woman has PPD, when you're in a restaurant, out in public, you treat the people you're with with politeness. She dished out a bunch of insults towards OP yet she couldn't receive them? The insults she dished are not from PPD. They're from her character. If you can't take it, don't dish it out. OP isn't the asshole here.

[@robertx8020]

And trying to attack someone over chopsticks ? You must be a mega loser with no life at all to go to that lows

[@Azulakayes]

Her insults were stupid and untrue, what OP said was true that's why her cousin was hysterical. Truth hurts...like a metal chopstick through your heart.

[@tarajamchenry171]

Story two: I really hate when someone is expected to be the "bigger person" when someone else is being a complete asshole to them. Don't dish it out if you can't take it, sweetheart

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

Story 1 is so cruel and sad. Erasing and trying to replace OPs mother, trying to force a relationship, all of it makes me feel so bad for OP.

[@carlrood4457]

I'm no expert, but I'd think only a narcissist would be dating less than 2 months after spouse's death. He'd clearly been cheating. Also, announcing a marriage on son's birthday is an incredible "look at us" action.

[@M4x4r0ni]

Story 3: NTA. Honestly OP wasn't the one to start anything, SIL is the one that brought the giant pink elephant into the room and OP was the only one willing to actually confront it. Everyone else wanted to pretend it wasn't there.

[@micahmussman-watts1478]

Exactly if they all have dealt with her weird emotional incest with bro by normalizing and just pretending it's not there OP ruined it by calling out her behavior as inappropriate and creepy which in turn condemns the whole family. Can't see this as turning out well long term. Husband needs major help and some distance from all of them if they hope to have much of a relationship moving forward.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Last story: Yeah... is it too late for an annulment? Husband SHOULD have had OP's back and told his sister to knock it off, not dismiss OP.

[@jannekelind1220]

Yeah there were a load of red flags. Even if the sister does get therapy he choose his family over his wife.

[@YoYo-gt5iq]

Learned how to use chopsticks by eating his wife's leftovers!!! This person is a legend

[@OZARKMOON1960]

At the wedding - where the hell was the best man? the MOH? why the F did the DJ let this rude woman grab a mic during the couple's first dance? Someone should have stopped that shit - no matter who she is related to, but OP is not in the wrong. Maybe OP needs to take a long, hard look at this family drama BS and the fact that her new husband is not backing her up; this is her life from now on. Think long and hard about putting up with his lack of actions from now on out

[@astronautviolet153]

Story : 1 NTA the age gap it's really creepy and op don't need a mom going no contact is for the best.

[@GBunnyG]

Story 3: Remember the DJ who was given crap when he changed the song in the middle of BIL's proposal? He was needed here.

[@Regrettable-Username]

Story 2: I'd *love* to see this go down at a restaurant that I was eating at, but then again I'm a messy person lol. OP's NTA in this one, her cousin was making a scene over something so normal; no one's instantly good at chopsticks! There's a learning curve and it's not like you get lessons when you sit down to eat. The cousin was cruel to OP for no damn reason, just getting meaner and meaner with every word she said. But then when OP matched her energy suddenly it's an issue? Nah, don't dish it out if you can't take it. Any depression the cousin may be dealing with doesn't make it ok to be such an ass. Saying her niblings were "rude pieces of shit" wasn't cool, I hope they weren't at the table because that's one of those things that'll echo in the mind of a kid for the rest of their lives. Other than that I think OP did a beautiful job of calling her cousin out, especially the part about eating the leftovers. Pure poetry lol Story 3: OP's husband failed her by telling her that she was just overreacting. Listen to your partner!! SIL was bitchy with the comments and then took it up 10x by interrupting the first dance, an important tradition that is supposed to be all about the couple, and giving such an uncomfortable speech. No one liked that. Husband's family should be upset at the SIL for "causing drama and ruining the mood of reception." because _she_ was the one who actually did that. And the calling demanding OP apologize? Absurd. The fact that OP's husband is less than useless in the situation because he hates conflict, especially with his mother is disappointing and shameful. This is your *wife* you need to be a united front on this and he should be in her corner.

[@Uneclipsed]

Story 3 had me shouting “annulment” 😂😭 girl, what a start to a marriage

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

Story 1. Geez what the hell is wrong with OP's father? Yes, I am sure Dad wanted OP and his new wife to build a relationship hoping OP would see her as a parent figure eventually. But, that is something that cannot be forced, as it has to come naturally, and if it doesn't happen, well that's ok too. They are horrid people to try and erase OP's mom from existence. OP needs to just stay NC with his toxic father and his father's wife (she doesn't even deserve to be called stepmother).

[@iononcantomascrivo]

The second story: OP is not the butthole. She is my spirit animal. So it's okay for her sister to sling mud bud when it gets turned around on her, it's not okay? Sounds like a case of what's good for the goose is good for the gander. She absolutely had it coming and that was an epic burn.

[@starrhunter633]

Last story, time to get an annulment, this shows that when it comes to OP, they will not back OP up. This is not going to end well for her. This is going to end at some point for her.

[@packergeek10]

I agree. Way too many red flags.

[@Azulakayes]

True, OP better annul the marriage. If your husband isn't going to defend you on the first hours of marriage, it's gonna get worse. I hate spineless spouses.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: Wait she full on _moved in_ 4 MONTHS after Op's mom died and expected them to just... accept that/her and not suspect cheating?????? Edit: "Get to the root of who they are and how they feel about it" No i think they've made it pretty clear who they are and how they feel about it, the issue is that they don't care about who Op is and how they feel about it Edit 2: So BIL, despite knowing Op clearly wants nothing to do with them, was gonna sit in on the birthing plan so he could give info to the parents Op wants nothing to do with so they can come in and make things even more stressful during an already stressful event 🤨

[@blandoatmeal1273]

Last story Always remember you've paid the DJ you can tell them if they are allowed to give out the microphone or not.

[@Mrs.Self.Distruct]

I so relate to story one. My mother passed of cancer a couple years ago, she was my best friend. I was never close to my dad as he was physically and verbally abusive to me as a kid and got to find he was still verbally abusive to me as an adult and even when my mother was on her deathbed long story short. Only three months after she passed I got to learn my dad had a girlfriend when he wouldn't stop talking of the woman when we were traveling to the beach to spread my mothers ashes. I had to tell him that i was very uncomfortable that he wouldn't stop going on about this woman to me on the seven hour car ride and that this should all be about mom ffs and to please stop. He finally did but had no consideration or understanding. My parents had been married almost 30 years and it was so mind boggling how he was already moving on. He had just met this woman and was already in love. Once we arrived to the beach he shoved his phone in my face with her on a facetime call to introduce me, it was unreal. I get everyone grieves differently but holy hell. He spent most of the time talking to her on the phone and i overheard him tell her he wished she was there and that was it for me, you f'in wish your new chick was at the beach with us when we are commemorating my mother?! They were married only a short time later. Things got really awful between he and I and i went no contact. He has a whole new family now.

[@zellagrace445]

I’m so sorry for your loss and your father’s behavior

[@Mrs.Self.Distruct]

​@@zellagrace445❣️ thank you. On another note, nice pic love me some Bowie :D

[@Human-kb6xc]

OP caused drama? Not Lisa stealing the spotlight during OP's first dance with her husband and might as well just have proclaimed her creepy love for her brother? Not Lisa starting an argument when confronted about her awful behavior? Not Lisa storming off like a brat during the wedding and *gasp* putting all the attention on her? Yeah. TOTALLY OP's fault for her sister-in-law acting like a fool. 😒

[@OZARKMOON1960]

People with kids from a baby daddy who have half siblings from same baby daddy that are within a few months (or weeks - omg - lol!) of those kids shouldn't throw stones. I personally would have gone with learning about birth control in general, but I' a B like that. So OP #2 s NTA!

[@ruthsaunders9507]

#1 Sounds like step mum couldn't have kids so she's made up a whole family life in her head with you as her son. Watch your own kid closely. These people sound crazy.

[@angietyndall7337]

Story 2: "Forcing Step Mom to be told is your mom..." This dad has major issues and forcing OP to recognize Step Mom as their mom and forget the fact that they had a biological and what they consider their real mom in addition to moving next door to their wife and soon to be family is toxic and the stalking too is not healthy. It sounds too like their dad has issues that he is trying to forget in forcing you to do x, y, and z. The first therapist to is very toxic and ignoring basic Psychology. I am glad things seem better in some regards, though, for you and your family-wife, new expected baby; etc.

[@browniewin4121]

1) How crass and disgusting of father and step-mom. I can't blame OP for not going along with this BS from them. Everything they did was absolutely the worst. NC is the way to go with people who would behave so badly. That therapist needs to be replaced. OP is being stalked and harassed, I hope there is a way to get a restraining order. OP and his wife should move away if they can. That crap father and his wife are delusional and awful and will not stop unless made to. After update: Wow, shame on BIL for doing such a thing, what a POS, best to have out of their lives. It's good the attorney helped OP get a letter sent that will hopefully keep these people away. 2) Cousin was obnoxious, OP was not embarrassing until she made a scene, but I do not think what she said was unjust. Cousin had gone out of her way to be rude to OP. ESH. 3) That SIL is a pain in the a**. None of her behavior with all the complaining to the bride and what she did with her speech during the dance was unconscionable. That husband did not stand up for OP when asked and put his sister in her place is unconscionable. SIL is the one who owes apologies and needs therapy. The family criticizing OP are totally in the wrong. Do not stay with this man who will not support his wife. Unless and until the husband agrees to therapy, to get a grip on the reality of the situation and learns how to stand up to his family, then consider this marriage over before it started.

[@laurentiare]

In the update, OP mentioned they found a new therapist and likes her a lot.

[@dillongage]

Nah, if someone insults you that much they have it coming. If that had been a conversation between two men, cousin wouldve been knocked TF out.

[@carlrood4457]

It's like a textbook of what not to do when you're a parent and your spouse dies. The dad was clearly cheating and had probably checked out of his marriage long before his wife died. He couldn't even be bothered to PRETEND to care.

[@TheFlowerchild712]

Story 1: NTA. They're behaving so badly towards OP its astounding. Poor guy lost his mom and dad moved in his way younger girlfriend in way too quickly. Story 2: NTA. Sometimes someone needs to be told bluntly that they're a terrible human being. OP's family supporting the cousin being a homewrecker seeing a dirty cheater is absolutely bonkers. The fact they defended Sarah, who was clearly in the wrong and bullying OP is insane. My mama would've slapped me into next century. Story 3: NTA. The wedding isn't about SIL. Lisa behaves like this because her damn family enables her, she's a brat. Husband needs to grow a damn spine and stick up for his wife. I don't feel sorry for Lisa, she acted like a entitled fool.

[@dillongage]

Story 1: Usually you have to have lived with the grandparents for them to have any rights.

[@Wander85942]

Grief is different for everyone but a month and a half? They were cheating no doubt about it. I lost two people I loved with six months of my each other. It took years to be remotely functional. That wasn’t even a spouse. All that makes me think is you were checked out and only you matter.

[@janglesthearsonist5265]

Story 2: NTA Dinner and a show! I would love to watch an insecure bully get taken down a notch, PPD or not! I guess OP's horrible sister can dish it but she can't take it.

[@GBunnyG]

Story 2: OooOoOoooOoooooh, that was a good burn. Re: poor other diners, I don't eat out at restaurants often, but that's the kind of scene I hope for. Absolute spit take and slow clap.

[@rosie6821]

Story 2: living for OP's comeback

[@Cosmic_Espeon]

"Hey look, Dinner and a Show!" -me whenever I see someone arguing at a restaurant.

[@MMKMoore1]

Story 2 - NTA I'm so damn tired of seeing everyone using PDD to excuse bad behavior, and assuming that every new mother has it. Sarah is a judgemental know it all, obviously the golden child, and it seems like the family has been enabling her to treat OP poorly their entire lives, not just since the baby's birth. And what a petty thing to feel superior about - no one can use chopsticks perfectly the first time! I went to a sushi place with a first timer, and no one in our group said a thing when she took the fork offered by our waiter. Story 3 - NTA I felt bad for OP the instant her new husband blew off her concerns about SIL's behavior. He should have done something at that moment, before SIL had a chance to ruin their first dance. If either the bride or groom is upset during the reception, then it must be handled. Period. He needs to grow a spine. Too bad OP missed the warning signs prior to the wedding, because I'm sure there was a whole parade of red flags there.

[@dzll]

Story 2.......OP came with that 🔥!!! I was "Ooooooooooooooooooooooh!!!!" when she came with that come back haha.

[@onyxdragon1179]

Story 3: If I was OP I would have considered leaving her husband. He's not standing up for her during their wedding, he won't stand up for her any other time. I would leave him and tell him how much of a coward he is, and that I hope he grows a spine before he marries the next girl.

[@myroc1]

Lasts story: The sister in law knows that the family will do anything to quiet her tantrums, even if it means taking her side.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 2: Can you imagine saying because someone doesn’t know how to use chopsticks that no one wants kids with them? Not only is it cruel, but it’s really weird. A lot of people have kids and don’t know how to use chopsticks. My mom didn’t eat sushi until after I was 9 and my brother was 13, so she didn’t know how to use chopsticks. What a weird thing to say. Cousin needs to be retrained to grow up before having kids because her attitude was more obnoxious and embarrassing than any one else’s

[@GreyEyedGypsy]

Story 2: if I had been in that restaurant I would have applauded OP. If someone starts stirring the pot in public all bets are off

[@roelthas]

I feel sorry for last OP, realizing in your actual wedding that your husband doesn't have your back, I hope she can get an annulment. 😬

[@KittenUndercover]

Was waiting with my cat at the vet when this popped up - I was freaking out that something was really wrong with her (it’s not thankfully!!!) and this calmed me down. Thanks Mark!

[@Solarstormflare]

Surprised the therapist in story 1 is recommending contact with these people

[@pasalking7760]

Story 2 Op's line about chopsticks was brutal 🔥

[@DFullerLisa]

The suspected cheating was hard enough to digest. That step parent has absolutely no shame. It is one hundred percent the child's choice on how they see a step parent rather its mom or Dad.

[@Lillireify]

Story 2 - OP is straight up savage, went for jugular and bled them dry. ESH, obviously, but that burn was epic!

[@carlrood4457]

In addition to the usual idiotic attempt to force a relationship, let's also point out that OP's dad's wife is only 14 years older than he is. There's no way a 14 year old is going to develop a parent/child relationship with a 28 year old.

[@shebakoby]

story 2: the SiL sounds like a Cluster of Bees evolved from Golden Child; the MiL sounds also like a Cluster of Bees.

[@cmvalt5975]

Chopsticks story is dinner and a show. I'd be laughing my arse off.

[@TheEvilways81]

I can never understand when a step-parent is forcing or being force for the child to accept it. Any single parents introducing a SO to their child is asking the kid to hate the SO and parent.

[@notevenlistening6072]

That leftovers quip was fantastic

[@cl5470]

Story 1: Dad is trying to assuage his guilt because he knows he was cheating on his wife when she died. He probably thinks that if he can force them to play happy family, it would somehow justify his betrayal.

[@hmspretender]

Talk about a happy coincidence! Hello Mark and everyone!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Heyo

[@stormkive4356]

"u probably learned how to use chopsticks by eating his wifes leftovers" is CRAZYYYYY LMFAOOOO like she ate that LMFAO

[@HonorWillow]

Story 1: replace the therapist and get a restraining order if you can. It's not possible to get them to "understand"

[@RedditCauseTherapyIsExpensive]

Love your vids. I just walked through my door after stealing my big sisters new puppy so we are going to snuggle eats some treats and snacks and listen to your video😂

[@carolcarol9982]

That training wheels for chopsticks story, I'd probably as one of the waitstaff if there was any popcorn available because I'd really like some while I watched the show.

[@CircusoftheMoon]

S1: My wife would find a way to haunt my ass if she died and pulled that shit with our kids.

[@kateemma22]

The waiters were more embarrassed by the cousin than they were by someone who can’t use chopsticks.

[@Prettypoisonswitch]

Wow!! The sheer level of crazy in just one video blows my mind! I don't know where he found them but holy crap that was a wild ride !😮

[@ALu-nq8rf]

The second story, damn! I was snapping my fingers at the "learned how to use chopsticks" line

[@Alberto-wu1mj]

If you ask a person to stay away from your property and they come again, it is trespassing and a criminal offense.

[@Cheycartoongirl8]

Hey Mark! Loviing the new backgrounds! They're so cozy! Currently working on my first animatic(???) music video for a friend of mine! Hope you're having a great day!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Ooo that's cool

[@whiskeyontherocks]

Story 3, I would in some way either by text or in person, alone, tell SIL why you won't apologize and don't expect her to apologize either, although you think it would be the appropriate thing to do. I would turn the tables on my husband and ask how he would have felt if it was your sibling.

[@chelseapthib36]

OP, oh sweetheart, im so sorry you lost your sister, your best friend, your person. Only those who have experienced this loss can understand the utter pain that actually occurs in your chest.. in your heart. My heart goes out to you! My dad died when i was 14... 12 days after my 14th birthday to be exact. He and my mom threw me a birthday party as it was the end of my 8th grade year (literally a week and a half left of 8th grade), so it was my birthday party + a party to celebrate me and my friends going off to high school. It was so great! I remember it like it was yesterday even though it was 21 years ago. My family came (aunts, uncles, older cousins), 50 of my friends (remember when we had infinite number of friends!), and the moms of my friends who were good friends with my mom. Everyone loved my dad. He wss a goofball, always smiling, always cracking jokes, prankster, killer musician (drummer), caring, loving, sympathetic, and empathetic man. He couldnt stand to see someone unhappy... he would make it his soul mission to make the person smile. Anyway, my mom had the party recorded on a camcorder. Im from a time before cell phones, social media, smart technology, all that.. so i had a video cassette tape with over 3 hours of party footage... my dad was caught many times being silly as well as a "Daddy/Daughter" dance with me. I had my first adult relationship when i was 19... he was abusive mentally and physically.. stole money from, would take my debit card and yank out all the money. He would sell my things for drug money. He was an awful POS . I have a stuffed dog, named George! 😊it was the first toy/stuffed animal my dad got me.. he brought it to the hospital when my mom gave birth to me and put it next to me when i was first allowed to sleep in the hospital room with my parents. I loved my dad, we were extremely close and i was a daddys girl. One night when my abusive ex was high on painkillers and xanax, we were fighting because he stole $200 out my savings money.. he was butthurt because i called him a junkie who couldnt keep a job even if his life depended on it. He KNEW my stuffed dog, my dads old band tshirts, my VCR tape of my birthday party, and a few other things meant more to me than my life and not to touch them. Well, he decided to cut the face off my stiffrd dog! 😢 ears, nose, eyes, and tail! When i saw it i lost my sh1t! I smacked him in the head with all my might, yanked the scissors from him, and while screaming like a demonic banshee, chased him with said scissors out of MY house and down the road 😂😂😂 He came back the next day to get some things and ended up stealing my favorite tshirt (the band my dad won a music award with) and the tape of my party.. he sent me photos later of him burning my tshirt and smashing my tape. I was devastated. When he came back to my house i beat him with the plunger 😂😂😂 and threw him out. The things we have left of our gone loved ones mean the most to us, and those we let into our lives should always do well to remember that and keep their grubby hands OFF!

[@Denuhm]

As a therapist, you should never encourage a client to engage with their abuser unless there is no alternative. The therapist was likely trying to figure something out between them to stop the pressure on the pregnant wife from OP. Side note- At the end of the day, I’d not want OP as a client regardless as his issues are not in my ball park. That doesn’t mean that his therapist was in the right.

[@PardonSylver]

Fire that therapist and get a restraining order on those parents.

[@AusExplorer]

Imagine realizing on your wedding day that you've married a jelly-spined mummy's boy.

[@DevilFruitZero]

Those parents need to get a clue and leave him alone. As for the 2nd story, I'd have said being a judgmental cow is a bigger embarrassment than being unfamiliar with chopsticks.