My day Where I Didn't Get Punched In the face....before 6 pm

[@zanegrimm2697]

my reaction would be the same, scream in fear and lock myself in the bathroom then climb out the nearest window and run like hell

[@turtaluciano71]

Drakus Hoovley HAHAHHHAA THUMBS UP!

[@DrakusDukeHoovleyhybrid]

RJghost Thanks.

[@zanegrimm2697]

lol though

[@DrakusDukeHoovleyhybrid]

King Sombra That's what i would do because that would be the probably only thing to do if you brought your own car and that was your last straw.

[@zanegrimm2697]

yeah, like my new pic?

[@denisemcdougal6445]

He was so right about the cops. I lived through the same thing. All the cops did was take him outside and tell him behave!!!

[@maddie507]

LOOOL "Officers officers officers, I have a sugar imbalance"

[@branwyns5452]

AndiLovesGames "I made it up, he didn't actaully hit me" "MAN I HIT HER! I SWEAR I HIT HER! I know my rights. I'll wait for you guys in the car" *sashays away*

[@maddie507]

xD

[@branwyns5452]

AndiLovesGames And then they go to uncuff me "I HIT HER! I SWEAR I HIT HER! I know my rights. I'll wait for you guys in the car."

[@maddie507]

they take me to prisun, im 6'2 im blonde im tan...and i realize...

[@branwyns5452]

AndiLovesGames I'm a very pretty man...

[@UpRoaryus]

Oh, Titus, I am in LOVE!.... Laughter cures- especially when it makes you feel like you aren't alone in even the weirdest shit...

[@AikoSmurfette]

She goes, "This sonuvabitch hit me!" I go, "She hit me first!" Which didn work in third grade, NOT gonna work on the LAPD.

[@COWGIRLBABY19841]

😂

[@alexisgrunden1556]

_"Hello, this is Christopher Titus, there's a domestic- You know what, just lemme talk to Rick. ... Hey man, what's up? Yeah, she's doing it AGAIN!! ..Alright; I'll see you in a minute."_ When you're on a first-name basis with the dispatchers, you *might* have a problem you should fix.. 🤣🤣🤣

[@TheTrit0n]

If she did that after i smacked her, my mind would be thinking, "Oh shit, my girlfriend is a masochist, run!!"

[@TheCorrodedMan]

Really?.i would've thought."maybe I should call the police and tell them it was a false alarm...."SEXY TIME!!!

[@TheFrugalVideoGamer]

Pretty sure that's what Titus did, what with locking himself in the bathroom.

[@utryping]

Da Triton masochism isn't that bad, sadism is when you need to run

[@TheTrit0n]

I'm a sadist, honey, that woman liked being hit, and she can pass it off as domestic abuse if he leaves her, which is why i say run, hell has no fury like a masochist woman scorned, she'll scream abuse, him saying it was consentual won't cut it for the cops.

[@TheFrugalVideoGamer]

Da Triton Of course, she also loved dishing out the punishment to him, what with the whole "cracked me in the face five times" portion.

[@dantesblackrose13]

lol i have this dvd and its so dammmn hilarious... i especially love the part where he goes "STOP BEING A WUSSAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" after he talks about he and his dads fight... it cracks me up every time... the first time i every saw that part i choked on dinner lol

[@TheKhive]

His life is hard to live with. The shit that happenend to his family that he deals with. He is a Great Anti-Depressent!

[@hagertt]

He's a funny psycho. It's good to have a change of pace once in a while and he's not like other comedians. He and Demetri Martin are just different and so funny.

[@missskittles93]

"but they'd have to come back...cuz those 2 had worked it out but the loser...was dead" lmao

[@Kooly1]

Hey whoa hey whoa hey whoa... Heyyyyyyyy. You guys work this out.... we don't want to have to come back here. *Chik chik* lol

[@Alexisxoxlove]

LMAO "I'm 6'2,I'm blonde,I'm wearing white,and I realize...I'm a very pretty man" The ending was funny, LOL just killed me

[@HPslash]

hahahahahaha "I'm 6'2,I'm blonde,I'm wearing white,and I realize...I'm a very pretty man... So I made some new friends..." favourite quote ever XD loool

[@AlanHollow]

"And like a real man, I locked myself in the bathroom."

[@Armygrl159]

she had a 180 I.Q... oh wait, mom had an 180 I.Q XD

[@mohnotone8598]

I got here from why jack went to prison

[@sarahmshimunov]

katherine Reyes LOL I watched that too. It's so much funnier than this!

[@vampian420]

its, its bookcase... as in, book?:3 i love that part:)

[@nancy6746]

one of the funnest guys you'll ever hear

[@mostgnarlydude]

he has such impacking delivery....he is one great comedian...prolly the best like ever!

[@billabam]

hey woa hey woa hey woa hey woa hey woa hey woa. LMFAO

[@Dreed122]

"I'll wait for you guys in the car" Titus kicks ass!

[@Metalthrasherz]

Haha this dude is hilarious, always makes me laugh.

[@DrDevilDD]

the one flaw about Titus is that he can't hold back his laughter.

[@emogirlrocks131]

HE HIT ME! SHE HIT ME FIRST! not gunna work in third grade not gunna work on the lapd"XD

[@simsgirlgem]

hey woah hey woah

[@emilytoney4745]

this makes me feel better when im mad or sad

[@corinneiscool]

i sware i can hardly breath right now, the ending was the fucking best ever;D i'm gonna cry

[@Lycan4]

When the geograhpy changed, my God, it was a FUCKING NIGHTMARE!!

[@andrewhunt1328]

I gotta admit. First time I saw this, did NOT see that one coming

[@Ogre302]

So he dated Rhonda Rousey? Oh... 180 IQ...

[@Mayonidas05]

before or after she lost?

[@agentsmithversion2]

Why isn't this on dvd????!!!!!!

[@CPT85]

And you thought your relationships were dysfunctional.

[@Nexus5001]

"hey this is christopher titus, there's a domestic..ah jus let me talk to rick." LOLOLOLOLOLOL! he roks!

[@gamerdude7100]

Arcadefox did the best job on his animation based on this, even titus agrees

[@Exaggeratedreality]

XD When Chris is groping himself he looks like some kind of uke jail bait.

[@denisemcdougal6445]

I love him.

[@stickzrockerondrums]

dude chris RULES!!!!!!

[@dk5388]

i agree no man should EVER!!!...hit a woman, until the 5th time she cracked him in the face lol that was great

[@cshgeo]

The Fifth Annual End of The World Tour (2007) Comedy Central Records

[@logan00721]

hes the funnyest comic ever

[@gringo335]

you cant make shit this bizarre up...lol thats what makes it really funny

[@Smokestacktics]

Dude. # 1 all comedians steal a little from each other. it's just the nature of the buisness. even titus took some of his material from old jokes and made them new age and outrageous.

[@saitoghost]

"BUT THE LOSER WAS DEAD" ROLMFAO

[@Dareman15]

"My god it was a fucking nightmare"

[@badflamer]

@cshgeo i hope you don't mean that that was when this was taped

[@Sephiroth1025]

where did u download this?

[@WesGTheFootballGuy]

I'm a very pretty man...

[@neatherskeloton2395]

"now I don't think a man should EVER hit a woman......until the 5th time shes cracked him in the face...so I hit her, open handed and regret it cause it wasn't as hard as I could've man." omg I agree with that XD( but u still shouldn't hit a woman)

[@jennybyrne7322]

+Neather skeloton Unless the "women" are Casey Anthony & Jodi Aris! Then you can do what you like w/ those witches! ~

[@jennybyrne7322]

+Tyler Grooms I agree 100%! CT's "Girl" had this coming! What was he supposed to do?

[@jennybyrne7322]

Tyler Grooms I love this bit! What goes around, comes around! & CT's "Girl-friend" was NO lady! Deserved!

[@jennybyrne7322]

Tyler Grooms I just love Christopher Titus.... He's so HONEST! I remember the 80's T.V show Cheers, Diane VS Sam in a slap fight! That was the best!

[@ryliealderman566]

yes you should dude I have been hit soooo many times and when I get hit I laugh and say do it again and I'm a woman

[@afropuffjake]

THANK YOU!! :D

[@GaelSeer]

no just let me talk to rick

[@tx.sweetheart83morgan67]

Love it

[@carlmorgan5751]

funny as hell an true

[@ryliealderman566]

I'm six two I'm blond I'm wearing white pants I'm a very pitty man XD XD XD XD XD.

[@CazexXSMTCXx1]

Can't help but laugh wen it reached 3:42

[@raeuch]

@timbodaclown Norman Rockwell is Bleeding

[@circecatismycat]

hes a very pritty man lol

[@pink3puppy]

"i smacked her..open handed....and i regret it :( ....becase it wasent as hard as i culd have >:(

[@jumpinjax2]

Lemme talk to Rick :)

[@mostgnarlydude]

i think a man should never hit a woman...until the fifth time she cracks him in the face....cuz i smacked her...open handed...and i regret it...cuz it wasnt as hard as i could oh man i.....this is seriously the funniest thing i have ever heard!!!!!!

[@EmoSniper1313]

:D yes he is a pretty man

[@wtf58]

i have a suger embalance! lmao!! NO DIEBIETIES IS A SUGAR EMBALANCE!!!

[@powerrangerofdoom]

im a very pretty man... ...and i made some new friends. god i love titus

[@circecatismycat]

pritty man lol hes so funny

[@cjvs1604]

you put titus on the same pedestal as mencia and spade? you have ALOT of problems man

[@alucard4052]

lols

[@zilaxia]

SO OLD OMG

[@jthecarpenter]

not hitting a woman, on the pure basis that she is a woman, just goes against their hole equal rights movement. lol

[@birdman44]

3:41-4:05=a very awkward part

[@applemask]

Cos I don't take any shihaahahahahaha

[@Jimmyboygohome]

Watching this during the Johnny Depp vs amber heard trial is weird

[@mangobomber360kick]

Lol

[@timwrestler]

@kennycupcake16 yeah just a little funnier

[@fireflocs]

Don't act like domestic violence mandatory arrest laws are a good thing, Titus. Especially when you're the one being unjustly arrested. A man defending himself should not be a violent offender.

[@fireflocs]

Not relevant in the slightest.

[@zhishangdi3522]

attomatic assumtion that he was the one who started the domestic violence but people dont relize that men can get be victoms of it too from ether physical or mental abuse which it seems like he was subjected to both just because you are a strong person does not mean you get the right to treat your other like they are lesser then your self being strong is not putting other people down it is helping them when they need a hand up it is also the same deal with rape a man can be raped just like a women can but that is a different topic so this is the end of my rant hope you learned something if it is something you knew then good i am glad you already knew it.

[@movingrivers]

Lol