My DEVASTATING Brain Injury… (It’s Been Mental “HELL”)

[@lionoffireraw]

Correction from video: I ended my taper in late 2021, not 2022. Protracted withdrawals started in Feb 2022. It’s been 15 months.

[@dirtypatwalsh]

Matt I have chronic disabilities which are pretty awful. I’m on a pile of meds that would do what you described here. Sounds like a Valium withdrawal. But lots of drugs do that stuff. I’m praying for you brother. 🙏✝️❤️ much love.

[@chickensdontsurf]

Big hugs to you, You have been in my daily prayers for a while, and now I can be more specific with my prayers for you. Lots of love and hugs!

[@SpaceCadet4Jesus]

Was it a Benzodiazopine withdrawal? It sounds like it. You getting brain synapse zaps? What about confusion? The withdrawal period for you might have needed to be a little bit longer than the standard charted withdrawal schedule and perhaps switching to another type of benzo during the remaining 30 percent of withdrawal could have been introduced to substitute while coming down in stages. I don't know the details of your case so I can't really tell you. Regardless, your body and your brain actually WANTS to normalize, it's kind of like a seesaw, with each side going up and down at a decreasing rate until everything is back to a sustainable balance. Rarely some days may be good, but most other days may be pure hell, as your body tries to make sense of it all. You may try charting your daily symptoms because as you withdraw you may notice a pattern, like every 20 days I have a day from Hell. This can help you to understand where you are and what's coming in the stage of that period. I did this (manage her drugs) for my wife, who the hospital by overdosing her, got her physically addicted to IV drugs, both pain relievers and Benzodiazopines. They evidently were not too familiar with withdrawals because they couldn't figure out what was wrong with her. They even had to ask me what I thought it was. I do have some medical background training but I'm not a doctor. I told them that she was going through withdrawals due to over medicating and that if they will prescribe my suggestions that I will get her off of it over time. They agreed and with their help I started. She was addicted to the strongest IV pain relievers and Benzodiazopines that the hospital had including pain meds, Fentanyl, Dilaudid, Oxycodone. It took 2 years to reduce the medications to nothing, severely limiting the withdrawal symptoms as we went. Sometimes she would sit on the couch and freak out but I would sit next to her and calm her for hours. It was a real hell. I couldn't leave her side so I couldn't work which meant we had no money coming in. But honestly I didn't care about the money. Again the withdrawal symptoms may come and go for the next year or so, understand that. My wife had breast cancer that went into her bones and then into her brain, but she also was suffering as a quadriplegic from 30 years ago and I was her caretaker. Only a few short years ago, her body gave up and there's nothing I could do. I surely would have traded my life for hers, but I wasn't given that option. She passed and I'm still devastated. Back to you, to add Lyme disease as a foundation for your normal state really exacerbates your comfort, energy and desire to live. It's really a beast. I know it's easier said than done, but you have to work on your withdrawals, and physical dependencies, so the mood swings calm down. Again, you might consider charting or Journaling for discovery. In the end you know best what you should be doing, and I think you're doing that. You may not believe this but you cheer up a lot of people, giving them hope, and pointing them to righteous living. God will not forget your efforts but will reward you. I've prayed to God about you that he would reset your emotions and brain physiology. He can do that, he's done it for me. Keep the faith, brother.

[@rhiannaloft3158]

Thank u for opening up

[@PeaceUnforsaken]

Sorry to hear about your mental breakdown caused by medications. I can relate. The thoughts you had, I had. But carried them out. Three times. When treated for my metal state thorazine just made me a zombie. Prozac affects certain chemical messengers (neurotransmitters) that communicate between brain cells and helps people with depression, panic, anxiety, or obsessive-compulsive symptoms. But they do have side effects. Your right that our brains communication may suffer from side effects. Withdrawal are hard to deal with. That is why Physicians taper patients off meds a little at a time. It is not easy what your going through. But I know that through Him you will be victorious. In my case, I saw it as a spiritual battle for my heart (mind). As we think we are. If Satan were to attack us because we are a threat; he will go for our Spiritual heart aka mind. Try to confuse our thinking process. And somehow the truth you were putting out into the world through KZbin, caught our enemies attention. But like Jesus turned water into wine, He can fix all chemical messengers (neurotransmitters). He fixed mine. Sometimes we think we can help God help us or with our physical conditions. Sure we should stop taking actions that effects us negatively. But once we do; we must let go and let God. We can't fix it, He can. Even when neurologist can't fix it. He can. I can physically feel Him when I let go and let Him. I can feel goosebumps, my hair feels like it experiencing a little electrical shocks. And I feel Him right above the bridge of my nose Crazy ! People may say. No, the Truth is; He is who brought sanity back. He was and will always be my cure. I know with my whole heart He treats all His children the same. I know, that you know, that all it takes is us having the faith of our sister in Scripture. Because she knew if she could only touch the edge of His cloak; She would be healed. By faith today we have access to our High Priest and Physician. I pray and hope that as your reach out to Him, He touches you and heals you. Because He can and will.

[@michaelmason1429]

Hi Matt We have been with you from the beginning. Trips to hospital by ambulance. Bed bound, Crying, a complete nightmare. Every morning just waiting to hear if u slept then hearing you say 1 hour sleep only. Like you said it’s impossible to describe what you have been through. We know only God, and your ability to hand it all over to God got you where you are today. You are totally immersed in God’s word, It’s amazing to see how far you have come, but as you say still a way to go yet. All through this journey you have been an incredible inspiration to so many people, you are a true blessing to all who come into your life. As hard as it is you have the ability to keep going. We Love you so very much, and extremely proud of you. 🙏🙏❤️❤️

[@grandmadebp7243]

I've had chronic lyme for decades, only officially diagnosed last year. I listened to your videos and loved your Godly prospective and started to regularly watch. It was only later I heard your testimony. To say that you have been a blessing in my life, is understatement. I pass your videos on to others who are now struggling in the most horrific ways. The hope comes from knowing that there will be an end. I've struggled with tremendous guilt, because I cannot be the grandma/mom I think I should be. Your videos have helped me to understand that it's not only me going through this, and that I can still please and honor God with what I CAN do, and I can leave what I cannot do with God. He knows, and He cares. Please take good care of yourself, but make as many videos like this as you are able, because so many of us need to hear this!! Edited to add: I am hearing that many are struggling with vaccine injuries now and there will be many more that need to hear this type of ministries as the days go on. There are whole groups of people online who feel abandoned and unheard.

[@lulumoon6942]

Make sure you are sweating DAILY. Sauna or FiR therapy mats with blankets can do it. Take time to build up your toleration. Activate your natural HSP fever response. This made everything else I did really work.

[@truthwatch2858]

Oh dear Lord, Father heal my brother in Jesus Name Amen

[@rowlandwheatley]

Thank you for bravely sharing the path God has chosen for you. My father had a mental breakdown when I was young, The medication they gave then in the 1960's was not good. I remember my dad holding onto the fridge and banging his head against it because his head felt so bad. Then my wife had 10 years of postnatal depression and my daughter had 12 years of Chronic fatigue syndrome from the age of 13. All were healed in God's time. Most people can understand a physical injury, but mental afflictions - of the mind, often gets little sympathy and yet is the most debilitating. With my dear wife, we prayed for healing for years, then one night I had a dream, and in it I dreamt I was praying for my wife's healing, but I was so ashamed of my poor weak prayers. But in my dream I saw my wife get better. Two weeks afterwards the Lord brought her out of the depression, and he has kept her out now for 20 years. I have no doubt in my mind, as an answer to prayer through Jesus Christ. The Lord does answer, in his time and way, prayers that we feel are poor prayers. Sometimes, like the apostle Paul, not removing the affliction, but giving grace to bear it. Be encouraged Matt, I believe your videos will be a help to many people. Helping them to look to the Lord and receive his grace.

[@navybrandt]

Some of the drugs that are prescribed are worse than the disease. I was on Tramadol for years for chronic pain, and the withdrawal when I stopped taking it was similar to what you're describing. The feeling of doom and dread and fear are unbelievable! I'd literally rather feel any amount of physical pain than go through that. As you said, there are just no words. I remember saying to myself, that if hell is like this than the fire part of hell is not really the worst part. It's the emotional torment. I'd get into cycles where fear of the dread coming on me would be the trigger for bringing the dread on me. Fortunately for me, it was temporary. God bless you, and I'll pray for continued healing for you.

[@cubbylevi1764]

I have thought the same…the worst part of hell has to be the mental torment. And we can’t escape our brains, our minds. Give me physical pain any day. I’m finding in this video by Matt and the comments that some do indeed have an understanding of what I’ve gone through. To try and describe it to someone who has never experienced it was usually futile.

[@riverwildcat1]

Praying to God Almighty for you Matt. I’ve experienced something similar but never for more than a few hours, and it was decades ago. Your stamina and Faith is a miracle. God bless you and yours. Emmanuel.

[@godchickwendy]

Hey Matt I have suddenly become a paraplegic after a severe bleed into my spine. I am rejoicing in Jesus, because this is an amazing way to share my faith & glorify His faithfulness & mercy. He has been holding me I His hands & I completely trust I Him. Be blessed 🙌

[@EdwardReidPolishTruth]

Thank you for sharing your story. It’s inspiring.

[@yvan900]

It takes a huge amount of strength and humility to open up about your journey, brother. Hand it over to God, as you said. You're a blessing for others in the midst of the battles 🙏

[@JANAlifestylevlogger]

Praying for your healing 🙏🏻

[@leannewalker8679]

Matt, your opening up like this brings glory to God. Everyone can see how He sustains you and walks beside you in these difficult times. Your testimony is evidence of his presence. I am so grateful and will continue to pray for you. Hallelujah!

[@janetminney5388]

Dear Matt. This makes me feel so sad, how wonderful God looks after you. My son had so many feelings like you, but he just couldn't cope anymore with these dark thoughts. He wasn't saved which broke my heart. I will pray God's healing and peace for you every day. I will write your name on my prayer list. Every blessing for your wonderful channel.

[@lionoffireraw]

I’m so sorry to hear this. It’s impossible to know how to respond to a comment like that. Thank you for your encouraging words, in the midst of your own challenges. I pray that this channel can continue to bless you, and thank you for being with me on the journey. God bless you, Matt

[@jackierenaud4772]

You are doing amazingly well Matt, considering what you’ve been through. Your videos are definitely helping many, myself included, even though I don’t have any serious issues - just loneliness at times. I’ll keep praying for complete healing for you 🙏

[@EatMyKos]

I'm so sorry to hear about this horrible ordeal - I'll pray for you tonight.

[@DaughteroftheMostHighGod-h6c]

How you have such a sweet spirit is a miracle in itself…it is the power of God working through you. It is true that a lot of people are suffering mental health issues…we are in the last days and satan is pouring out his full anger against God’s crowning jewel of His creation…and with you speaking out and sharing how HE has helped you move through this will help so many. The fire in you for Yeshua is obvious! Yeshua I ask that You would give him strength for each moment. B’Shem Yeshua. Amen.

[@richardholappajr.6184]

I am sorry you have been inflicted with this misery. Our continued prayers are for your healing, Matthew. Thanks for sharing.

[@daniellewardd]

I’ll have you in my prayers, bro. You’re right no one can truly understand unless they’ve been through it. I became mentally unwell and I was put on drugs and became sane. I was doing well for awhile and then the mentor torture started. I was having weird sensations in my brain, suicidal thoughts, zero motivation, low confidence, dull headaches, tension etc. That was last year. Things have calm down since but I just don’t feel like myself anymore. My brain and body just doesn’t feel the same anymore. I’m in nursing school right now and I’m having trouble understanding the concepts and how things run. I’m usually a good learner but since my mental illness, learning has been way harder. I’ve been cheating to pass the classes and when I’m not cheating, I pass the classes by luck. My cheating is catching up to me. I’m tired of being dishonest against God and it’s unfair because I’m putting peoples lives at risk.

[@merkx403]

I am truly sorry that you had and have to deal with this devastating terrible injury and disease. Lets hope God takes the illness completely away. God Bless You and everyone

[@SandraCrockett-t8u]

Matt ,your on my prayer list and heart. A 73 yr old grammar who's gone through a few things and I so thank you for sharing . Fear not ,for I a with you; Be not dismay, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 Blessings in Messiah

[@lionoffireraw]

God bless you. Matt 🙏

[@kellywhalen5021]

Sweet boy, unless you had shared This nobody would ever know you were living through all of this, because your face always shines with your love for God and His word. I pray for healing for you, but also sweet fellowship with The Lord that suffering brings. Thank you so much for telling us of your immense struggles, it is so like you to do so with the express intention that it may help someone else in their struggles.❤

[@tromboneman4517]

I have come down with OCD myself. It’s pure hell. I understand completely.

[@lionoffireraw]

I’m sorry to hear that. May God bless you. Matt 🙏

[@dcole2133]

This is very scary if you let it overwhelm you 😟 please do what you need to in Gods name. Yes you are an encouragement.

[@dieudonnejoubert7206]

Oh Matt! I am so sad about all u have been going through! I have learned that not even our suffering is lost in the economy of G-d, He uses everything to His glory & a blessing to us. I listen to as many of yr videos as I find, & those on the Lymes Disease. I was so saddened as my heart aches for folk who are suffering & I always want to do more for them, but the best is to take it to our Father. I have been praying for you every day since listening to yr videos - I am so sad. Blessings my precious brother. Dieudonne' Joubert. South Africa.

[@rochelleb9843]

Wow, I see how the Holy Spirit is keeping you young man, how could you go through all of that without him? I have prayed for you and will continue to pray for your healing, it's what we in the body of Christ are supposed to do and it's my HONOR!

[@Rae6357]

Matt, I pray that our Lord will continue to heal you, until you are completely healed. It breaks my heart to hear all that you have gone through and continue to go through. And our Lord still uses you to be a blessing to so many. PRAISE GOD from whom all blessings flow! We all look forward to seeing you reach the end of this horrific ordeal. Thank you for your ministry.

[@janH58]

Your video posts are always very encouraging. Brothers and sisters in Christ, pray for Matt.

[@busybee4436]

What a testimony to God's sustaining grace to you. Thank you for sharing. May God continue to bless and heal you, my brother in Christ.

[@GA-Vic]

I, understand you Matt. I, was mugged by three people and put into a coma for 6 days and in the process I, sustained a brain injury.Those, thugs tried to kill me, after they stole $500 out of my wallet,they took me over to the nearby railroad tracks and waited for a train to run over me but they weren't successful. Soon, 2 paramedics came and put me onto a stretcher.I, was in the hospital in Monroe Louisiana, for a total of 27 days, back in 2001.I, had to relearn how to walk and speak. I, went to physical therapy for years. 6 years later, I was in an auto wreck. I, went from a wheelchair to a walker, pain pills, a cane and mental anguish. There's a place in my heart, that's dear to me, when hearing about other's trauma and hardships. When, putting thoughts into words and recalling things,it takes me a while to do it, longer than it used to but I have been Blessed to get to and be where I am now.I, Thank God for His Mercy and Help!

[@adamfreeman5609]

What compounds this even more is the fact that satan likes to attack when we are at our weakest or feeling weak. Having thoughts of a depressive nature iver a long time could also possibly bring curses or even demonization. The late great Pastor Derek Prince has some very enlightening sermons/ videos on his KZbin Channel. May God almighty bless you young man, try not to dwell on these things and never speak ill of yourself as words have power.

[@LydiaTheBusinessWoman]

I agree, spoken words do have power but thank God we can counter them. When someone is in the depths of a mental breakdown they say such awful things, it can be shocking and frightening to witness but I do believe God, in all his mercy covers them during these times with his protection.

[@kim09031957]

Dear Matt, I'm so sorry you are going through this. Staying close to God, he has sustained you, even though it's hard. Taking each day is hard too however this is what God calls us to do, even if we are suffering terribly like you or not. Yesterday is finished, God will take care of tomorrow for you. It slows us down and we focus on being close to the Lord. I can relate to you in some ways, I too have had the counting thing, even repeated singing in my head, terrible invasive thoughts which has been brought on by trauma, PTSD and abuse. You feel like you are going mad. At this moment I am not good and pray for God's strength, his grace, for I am weak. Animals can be great, a distraction, full of love and a companion. Love to you Matt....kim

[@childoftheking2214]

I can relate to what you are going through. I developed OCD over the 27 years of living with ME/CFS. The anxiety, sleep disturbances that swing from sleeping for 18 hours and day to not being able to sleep for more than 3 hours a day. The racing thoughts and not being able to focus. Not being able to work off the anxiety by going for a walk, exercising, working in the garden etc because the illnesses will not allow it. Now I am dealing with the sudden death of my son two weeks ago. I am overwhelmed but like you I take it one day at a time trusting God to get me through. The colour left my world when my son died. He loved Jesus so much and looked forward to being with him one day. For that I am so grateful and it brings peace during the storm. In time colour will return.

[@lionoffireraw]

I’m so sorry to hear about your tragic loss. To suffer this on top of everything else, I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. May God be your comfort at this time of knowing that your son is in the presence of the Lord. I really hope that this channel can be a blessing to you in your life. Hopefully it can help, and even some small way. Thank you for sharing with me. God bless you, Matt

[@arethPoole]

Well our brother, just to say you have many of your family in Christ praying for you, and will continue to pray for you and all of the others that have shared their story. I have no words to make sense of what many of us have had to suffer and endure. Only that thank the Lord that He is with us through this and we are not alone.

[@jer333able]

Brother Matt, I am humbled by what you went through and only by the grace and mercy of God have you pulled through and now you are serving Him in more ways than I personally couldn’t. You truly are an inspiration to many of us and I am certain you are touching many lost souls and helping them to come to Christ.Your gentle demeanor is so inviting to listen to what you have to say in all your videos and you are wise beyond your age. After listening to your story, I was brought to my knees in prayer, asking God to forgive me for my complaints that now appear like unworthy pebbles. Hang on brother, God has called you to be His worrior , a watchman on the wall, not only to spread the gospel to those who are not reached yet but to wake up those Christians in churches who are in slumber, led by wolves in sheep’s clothing, who are deceived to think they are saved but they are not! Hang on brother, your journey might have been a Valley of the shadow of death but Our Father in Heaven was there with you leading you through it into the light, His light and in the end He will reward you by saying,” Well done my good and faithful servant !” Brother Matt, I am a recent subscriber and I already feel I found my brother in you, and please know that I thank God for you and that you are in my prayers in the name of The Holy and Mighty Name of Jesus, The Christ!

[@wendym2544]

I suffer from PW's too. I feel your pain. It's worse than anyone can imagine. Thanks for posting about it. That's all I'll say for now.

[@lionoffireraw]

I’m sorry to hear that 😔 God bless you. Matt 🙏

[@wendym2544]

@@lionoffireraw God Bless you too Matt. And anyone else who is dealing with this.

[@realityTV77]

Being anti social all my life, although it's dissipated through the years. Having been told I had a serious head injury at 6 months old. Was told it was very serious 😒

[@kellyhiller3977]

Amazing how well you articulate your vids while suffering with all this. I have social phobia (specifically self conscious when ppl are talking to me) so I covet your prayers too. 🙏🏼 For you too.

[@allyf849]

Same here. You're not alone. Praying for you, sister. God bless!

[@CassidaViridis]

I am sorry to hear you are suffering so much, it sounds a nightmare. I will pray for you. You are so brave, giving your all for Christ. I have personally found you very inspiring, and you have encouraged me to grow closer to God through your lovely videos. I hope God will heal you of this trouble very soon.

[@lionoffireraw]

Thank you so much

[@RoseBuenoPH]

Just found your channel today and immediately subbed, binging on your videos - every one seems like a special wake-up letter from God. Thank you for creating this channel and for sharing your journey. May God continue to uphold you in your faith in him, keep strengthening you inside out and keep you hopeful through your healing journey. God bless you, Matt.

[@lionoffireraw]

Welcome to the channel. It’s so great to know that it has been such a blessing for you, so far. I pray that the videos continue to be helpful. I’ll post my other channel below, where I do scripted and edited teachings. Check it out if you like 😃 ⬇️ youtube.com/@lionoffireministries?si=S6CZyBYoAvNE7GxT

[@RoseBuenoPH]

@@lionoffireraw Thank you! I’ve checked out your other channel. I like it in here more. 🙏🏽

[@sunshine_Faith]

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I think my daughter was having these issues from a med but she also had 8 rare conditions. She took her own life dec 30, 2022. I am finally off one of my meds and managing the best i can. I have some of the same symptoms but not like what you described. I worry about my husband now as he ended up with Long covid or maybe it is fibro. The doctors say fibro but it all happened after he was vaccinated and then we got sick with Covid more than once. We both got sick with the long covid and I managed to improve and go back to work but he hasn't been able to for over 2 years now. They have been trying so many meds and nothing isn't working. I hope that the current med doesn't cause these issues for him. Since the doctors have no idea how to help him they are just throwing different meds and hoping something sticks. Thank you for sharing. Praying for you.

[@lionoffireraw]

I’m so terribly sorry to hear about this. My heart sinks whenever I read a comment like this. I can’t imagine the pain that you have gone through. The fact that you and your husband are dealing with issues now related to health, must be so overwhelming. Doctors don’t understand the consequences of these medications, and withdrawal from them. Some are fortunate, others not so much. I pray that God will help you through this. God bless you, Matt

[@salt_and_light03]

Thank you for sharing this deeply painful experience. I’m so glad you have Christ in your life and that you use your experience to witness to others. Praying for you always and God bless you Brother in Christ 🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@caroledwards9381]

I’m so sorry you’re going through this Matt. It sounds beyond horrendous. Praying for your complete restoration. Your faith and perseverance is an inspiration. Focusing on getting through today is good advice because you never know what good things God has planned for you for tomorrow. Blessings. ❤

[@lionoffireraw]

Thank you so much! Matt 🙏

[@louisesrensen5529]

Thank you for sharing. It reminds me of Corrie Ten Boom, a wonderful dutch sister, who lost her father and sister in concentration camp. She toured the world to tell about Gods amazing help and presence and how he gat her through those hard years. Her last - I think 5 years - she lost her ability to speak and had to have nurses. I think she surfered 2 strokes also. It really twisted my mind on how God is working. I never doubt his presence but it still puzzled me a bit. I could see his grace; how he made sure Corrie gat the help she needed. It was christians who took care of her the last years. There defintely also was a learning proces for those taking care of her. May the Lord hold you in your difficult times and give you grace, and may it all be for his glory. In his hands there is no waste.

[@mama-cita]

Matt I'm so sorry you went through all of that! I had something similar happen to me when I got covid. I was 34 at the time and very healthy but I was just newly pregnant when I found out I had covid. Apparently that is one of the worst times to get covid. I ended up having a miscarriage. When pregant your immune system is lowered to protect the baby. My immune system did not know how to handle covid. I got so sick, not just physically but mentally. I could not sleep for 5 days straight, not even a wink. I don't know how you did it for 5 weeks! It was torture. I developed a sort of ptsd when it was time to go to bed. I remember telling people that I felt like I was high (Ive only done that twice when I was a teenager) although I hadn't done anything to get high. I was in and out of the hospital but they just said it was "anxiety" and gave me anti anxiety meds. I couldn't do anything that was overstimulating like watch tv, listen to the radio, read a book, I couldn't even be around my kids. I told the hospital I was thinking about killing myself. and ended up being a ward of the state for a few days which was traumatizing. Like you said, it wasn't that I wanted to die I just wanted the suffering to end. I started not being able to eat or drink. I really thought I was going to die. I knew I needed to sleep to heal and I couldn't get a doctor to prescribe a sleeping pill. I ended up staying in a mental health unit in the hospital for a week which was traumatizing because of all the other mentally ill patients. But I was able to get a sleeping pill and slept a lot. I remember thinking the first night I took the sleeping pill that I was going to die. I said "here I come Jesus". But getting sleep caused me to heal. Eventually I was released, came home, got off all the drugs in a few days time and started to heal. One of the most painful things though is that family and friends did not understand. They either thought it was anxiety because I was afraid of covid or that it was a mental breakdown from "not getting out of the house enough, or having 5 kids to take care of". It made me feel very alone, and was very hard on my husband who thought his wife was going to die Also during the suffering you feel like you aren't a strong christian, ... If I could just have more faith, pray harder etc.... I wouldn't wish the physical, mental and spiritual pain I felt on my worst enemy. After suffering like that it definitely gives you a different perspective when other people suffer. I learned that when I meet other people they might be going through the worst time in their lives. It taught me to give more grace. I pray that you continue to heal. God Bless

[@lionoffireraw]

Thank you so much for opening up. I’m so sorry to hear that you went through all of that. I understand a lot of what you are talking about. I actually did a video talking to people in such situations. I spoke on the very fact that a lot of people feel condemned that they black faith, when this simply isn’t the case. I pray that these videos continue to bless you. Matt

[@esthercave8111]

Only people who have experienced extreme suffering can understand. I have cfs/m.e. in the first few years I was tired and wired extreme insomnia with sooo many horrendous symptoms aswell 24/7 suffering. All while breastfeeding my first child. My husband had to give up work to look after me and my son. I felt like putting a bullet to my head to stop the suffering. It was a transient thought that happened alot from the severe insomnia and awful symptoms. It was so intense. Elders came out to pray for me and I constantly prayed to God to help me. It was hell on earth. I'm still battling this illness but nowhere near those first few intense years. I can now sleep some nights. I trust God and will never give up on myself or my faith in God

[@carly-0-7]

Mental illness does not discriminate and it is debilitating- so many going through the same thing. Longing for heaven with our Lord and savior Jesus Christ

[@DeniseThomson-y5p]

Im so sorry this is happening matt ,i never knew much about this until you spoke out. 🙏

[@cathybyrum7593]

You are encouraging many people with your openness. You’re doing something very good that the enemy is attacking like this.

[@toniekulkarni9243]

Praying for you Matt I know I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety most of my life (I am 76 years old). Many years ago as a Christian I unknowingly got involved with a very cult like situation. After almost two years I heard God tell me to get away and never go near them again. But since then I have struggled with nightmares of not being saved and seeing hell and I can’t describe how horrific it was. The last few weeks I’ve decided to focus only on Jesus Christ and God my father and believing God has always been there for me. I have always been reading my Bible and praying but most those years have felt so distant from God and felt myself getting further and further away. But I finally believe God is with me and listen only to Christian music and pastors that are Biblically based etc. I’m doing better. I quit taking anxiety medication for sleeping and taking magnesium and melatonin and sleep most the night. If I wake up and start feeling bad things I try to bring to mind Bible verses and hymns etc. and it’s much better. I look back and see all the times God has helped me and protected me and thank Him. God bless you and may you come through all you’re going through. God will never leave you nor forsake you. He has you in His hands

[@lionoffireraw]

Thank you so much for your comment. It sounds like you have gone through a lot. And It’s great to see your faith. One of the challenges of the spiritual life is that we are not always going to feel the emotions that we want to live. I did a video on this, that I will post below for you in case you’re interested ⬇️ kzbin.info/www/bejne/nYDQZ52BisdnqtUsi=WcQ8iYLZmSBz-gBv

[@marisa5359]

Thank you for sharing so openly. My challenges may be different than yours, but I relate much to physical and mental struggles. Praise the Lord you are further on the path than you were, praying He continues to strengthen and sustain you. Remember 2 Cor. 4:17-18.

[@marialopes3091]

May God strengthen and heal you.

[@Tadd22]

Matt, thank you for sharing something very personal. People all over the world care for you and want you to be better. Many people will pray for you. God bless you always. T.G.

[@barbdurban900]

You are a wonderful young man. Suffering much. A true example to us all. We need to thank you Matt for sharing. Bless you. X

[@lionoffireraw]

God bless you 🙏

[@barbdurban900]

I lost my son many years ago. I would hope he would have the strength and love that you have. Thank you dear Matt. x From a mother. x

[@EdwardReidPolishTruth]

Hey Matt. Thanks for sharing. I’m on medication and I’m tapering down and it’s horrible. It makes me anxious and depressed and most of all hopeless. I feel like I can relate because I just want all of these feelings to go away both mentally, physically, and spiritually. I am glad I came across your video because when you hear others you don’t feel so alone. It’s a journey for me and I pray - probably not enough though. I don’t have much support because people don’t know about this. I know what you mean by I want to be back to normal if that’s even possible. God bless you.

[@lionoffireraw]

God bless you. We can only do the best that we can do!! May we trust God each day. Matt

[@jons2545]

Praying for you, Matt! God is good and He loves you!

[@dianerennehan8108]

Bless you. You give me a lot of strength.

[@nancybaumgartner6774]

I’m a therapist who has been working with people recovering from Lyme (and other TBIs) for 25 + years . The mental health and medical systems routinely misdiagnose and mistreat these patients. Its horrendous .

[@lionoffireraw]

God bless you. Matt 🙏

[@gregmindrum5332]

I understand, somewhat, received a small stroke, couldn't drive or even read since April. Really knocked me off center for a time.

[@barb537]

Oh Matt, my husband and I enjoy your videos. I was just saying to my husband this very morning. I wonder what all is going on with Matt only to find your video popped up on my KZbin feed. My heart breaks for you, but I love your positivity. God absolutely has a plan for you. What Satan met for harm God ment for good, as you are sharing so many wonderful videos that you probably would not have, had it not been for the state you are currently in. We will be praying for your full recovery. You probably have not th❤e slightest idea of how MANY people you are blessing. If I were near you I would give you the biggest hug. Keep sharing you are an amazing young man. God bless you as you already know he does. But have a great day. ❤

[@lionoffireraw]

I appreciate this comment very much. Thank you so much for taking the time to share it with me, and to encourage me. I truly appreciate it. God bless you, Matt 🙏

[@nonenone7264]

I have had similar struggles, but it was due to overloading my body with stress, which resulted in my adrenal glands no longer being able to regulate cortisol. I didn't sleep for 6 months, literally no sleep, and have struggled for the last 5 yrs 9:45 . I finally found a natural path dr that is helping me. The two hormones produced by the adrenal were way below the normal range, and we are working to get them back in the normal range. He also found that my thyroid was low (you must do a FULL thyroid panel because my T4 was normal, but the other thyroid tests were not normal).. I'm also doing Meyer IV treatments with glutathione added. I'm now sleeping, and my energy levels are rising, and I'm no longer in constant fight/flight mode. You might want to consider having a doctor check your thyroid panel and all of your hormone levels, particularly the 2 hormones produced by the adrenal glands. If your levels are not normal, then addressing this may assist you on your journey back to health. God bless you!

[@nonenone7264]

Forgot to add that the doctor did a gene test for MTHFR. If this test is abnormal or partially abnorma it means you can't absorb B vitamins properly, particularly B12 and folic acid. My test was partially abnormal so I have to take METHYLATED forms of B vitamins to ensure absorption. Just Another test to consider.

[@romans8385]

Hello, Matt. I am working my way through your videos and watched this episode just now. I am very sorry for the suffering you went through. Please know that I will pray for you, daily, from here on out. He is faithful to you.

[@lionoffireraw]

I truly appreciate that. God bless you, Matt 🙏

[@tammywalker2118]

Thank you for sharing this. My son has very severe OCD and it has been very difficult for him and for our family. Many things you said in this video are familiar to us and really hit home. Therapists and medication have not helped, but this has caused me to just lean harder on God. I admire your courage and honesty, and that you continue to make videos that minister to many people. God bless you and give you peace.

[@JohnSmith-px2cg]

You have been helping me in my new journey with god/jesus. I'm so sorry to have just heard the illness and struggles youve been having. You said your ministering is helping give you strength so I wanted to say thank you again to help your strength.

[@lionoffireraw]

Thanks for encouraging me. Matt 🙏

[@debrafox5576]

Matt please consider listening to Bro. John Butler from England and discover his journey and how the Lord has grown his faith while living very a solitary life. His voice Aline is very healing and quieting. Praying for your recovery. Love and hugs.

[@sumbomarcus]

My prayers are with you Matty. It is well with you

[@oscarcat1231]

I am so sorry to hear of your struggles with this illness. I pray that God brings you out of these dark times. May I suggest taking Magnesium byglycinate and omega 3 marine algae at night to help with sleep.

[@lionoffireraw]

Thank you 🙏

[@paulgillard5094]

So sorry to hear this. I will be praying for you.🙏🏻

[@jeanettecook8891]

PRAYING FOR YOU, DEAR YOUNG MAN. MAY THE LORD JESUS SURROUND YOU WITH HIS PRESENCE AND PEACE, AND BRING FULL HEALING INTO YOUR LIFE.

[@jonathangolden9299]

I understand you! I’m going through all of the things you are talking about, and I know it is much deeper than words can say! You have to go through this to understand it, and I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Like you, I have said, “ I would rather have all my bones broken than go through this tormenting hell!” My withdrawals put me in psychosis for seventy-eight days. My withdrawal was from Klonapin four milligrams daily. I have BIND ( Benzodiazepine Induced Neurological Disorder) I’m always hyper-vigilant ( severe panic no rest, always in fight or flight! Everything scares me! I’m afraid to die. I always think about death, not killing myself but death, because of what I’m going through. I’ve become passive, and child-like in my emotions, because of severe fight or flight and severe muscle fatigue. I need Jesus! I’ve been in church since I was a child, but living in deception thinking I’m a Christian. When I watch your videos, I know I’m not saved. This on top of my severe fight-or-flight problem is more than I can handle! I’ve been trying to live for the LORD by my flesh, and have failed miserably, so I just started living like the world, excusing my faults. I would lie to myself and say that I’m going to heaven when I die, but I see that I was lying to myself. How do I walk in the Spirit? I apologize I’m under so much stress. I want to serve God honestly and not deceive myself any longer. I have been watching different ministry channels for about two years, but it has been your channel that has opened my eyes to that I’m not a biblical Christian. I want to know that I know that when I die, and for others to know that I died a true Christian. I need a lot of help. Thank you for reading such a long text. I live in th U.S. State Of Texas.

[@lionoffireraw]

Of you have a sorrow for sin, and a desire to obey God, that’s a sign that the Holy Spirit is in you. The unbeliever doesn’t even care about that. Run into the arms of God!! See the video below ⬇️ kzbin.info/www/bejne/bF7FeGqHg6agg7ssi=P2OdSbq3YcqCG5eq

[@Romans_8.38-39]

Praying for your full healing, Matt. Thank you so much for sharing your experience, what you're still going through, and how you're still carrying on with your relationship with our Lord. It sounds somewhat like what I went through when I was given too high of a dose of antidepressant, and ending up in the emergency room with serotonin syndrome, and much of the following months of weaning off that medication. Mental health issues on top of physical health issues are indescribably difficult to get through. Thank you for sharing the scripture in your other video, and how you are still managing, with God right there with you. I watched the yt video of the story behind the hymn "It is Well with My Soul," and both story and hymn touched my heart so much, that when I'm struggling I either listen to the hymn or just say to God, "It is well with my soul." The Bible passage where Paul talks about contentment also touches me when I struggle. Your sharing your story and relationship with Jesus Christ, and the Bible verses, and comments from others, help me feel that I'm not alone. I'm praying for all those that have their own struggle, that have commented, as well.❤🙏

[@antonyschwarz8749]

ohh bless u xx me chronic fatigue 60 years my daughter 25 years ohhh praying for u xx Lord Jesus help us please

[@JesusismyRock773]

Hello Matt. I understand how you feel when you can't even describe what you are going through to people who have never gone through what you go through. I suffer from depression. I have for many years. You can't describe how your mind works in depression to someone who has never suffered depression. The only thing that I can use to describe it came to me when I was walking home from seeing a psychiatrist. I was walking by some colourful bushes and flowers, and the first thing that came to my mind was, there is no colour. I was seeing life black and white. It was horrible. So lifeless, so empty. And that is the only way I can describe what my life was like before medication. The medication brought colour back into my world slowly. So slowly, I didn't even realize that I was feeling so much better until it hit me one day. I am neither embarrassed nor ashamed that I suffer from depression. There was nothing I could do to stop it because you don't realize you are in it until it hits you hard in the face. I hope people who suffer from depression or any mental health problems get the help they need. They can't stop the brain from doing what it is doing, but there is medication that works wonderfully, and I hope they all reach out for help. I am a new subscriber. My sister told me about you a week ago, and now I am watching so many of your older videos. Thank you for what you are doing Matt.

[@lionoffireraw]

God bless you. Thank you for opening up. Matt 🙏

[@joanhenschel3511]

I'm so blessed by this video, Matt - thank you. Three weeks ago I went through intense Morphine withdrawal, and it was sheer hell! I had run out of my meds before the next batch had arrived, so had to go cold "cold turkey" without meds for a week. I need to be on Morphine, as I'm in severe pain. I'm praying for your 100% healing, Brother. Shalom from Mossel Bay in South Africa 🇿🇦

[@banzakidimye348]

Bless you brother. "Mental Hell" ..... I understand exactly what you lived/are living through......though the reasons may be different. When every fibre of your being is screaming; and anguish pervades every cell of your body. It takes every ounce of will-power to just hang on in there .... not knowing when it will end. I would rather have my teeth extracted without anaesthetic. We scour the Scriptures - every book, every chapter, every verse - looking for hope and comfort in our distress. God is with us in it, and through it, all. The Holy Spirit groans with groanings that words cannot express. Yes "MY eyes will see the king in His beauty"! Hallelujah!

[@danielgergely7672]

Dear Matt, thank You for Your sincerity. I understand your emotions and feelings. Going through similar thoughts last year...my was caused pure mentally. Years or decades a lived in typical lies of satan-not loved, not worthy, abandoned from God, struggling from fear, anxieties, OCDs, depression and on the end a depersonalisation disorder. It was something I never think about to have, I thinked I was going crazy... So as in 1 Peter 5:9 "...the same struggles hits our brothers/sisters in the world... Now going slowly out from those dark months and I am able to thank God, he reached for me through those problems...and I am able to recognize that "the truth of Jesus will set us free" from all the lies of the darkness. God bless you brother and thanks for sharing your videos, they were also helpful for me on my journey.

[@lionoffireraw]

I’m so glad that things are improving. God bless you, Matt 🙏

[@lulumoon6942]

There is a shocking amount of mistreatment going on in our medical system now. Been there recently. Best to you in your healing brother. 🙏🕊️

[@rosiemcking72]

Dear Matt, thank you so much for sharing your healing journey and what you have been going through brother. His grace truly is sufficient. One day at a time dear one.. Thank you so much for your vids. We would never have known the mental anguish you have and have still been going through. Sending you a hug. We too are blessed to have you in our lives too. Be blessed and healed in Jesus name. Amen

[@Ruthhql320]

Dear Matt, I had no idea this was happening! My son's name is Matthew but as a parent my heart hurts for you and I will keep you in my prayers! It almost sounds like a bad lsd trip which I have never used those type of drugs as I never was around anyone that did that stuff! 😭😭😭 My friend had been bitten by a tick a few years ago and it was caught too late! She found a place that infused specifically a mixture of vitamins directly into the blood stream! This of course is the USA! It almost sounds like brain trauma! 😭😭😭 I am so so very sorry that you are going through this and I pray the Precious Blood of Jesus Christ over you for supernatural healing! God bless you Matt and your loved ones in the Holy Name of Jesus Christ!✝️🙏❤️

[@yvonneknickerbocker920]

Prayers for you. I went through a similar problem 6 years ago, it was so horrible. It caused me to change many things in my life.

[@lionoffireraw]

Thank you so much! God bless you.

[@tammyjoma]

Thank God you made it through that hardest time. Thank God He has saved you and after you have done everything, to stand. You are an inspiration that those that think they can't make it through and we who suffer in ways can hear your story and be encouraged. I really appreciate your channel. It really speaks to me. Hallelujah that God is real and true and that He has comforted you and will continue to sustain you. "Deep calls to deep at the sound of thy waterfalls, thy breakers and thy waves have rolled over me." Psalm 42:7 Thank you for trusting us, my dear brother in the Lord. May God continue to bless you.

[@carolinekinney2364]

Your sharing this terrible struggle you’re going through is going to help so many people. No one else is humble enough, loving enough , to share things like this with others. God bless you so much. I pray He gives you healing and strength, and that His peace and joy overcome you. You are an amazing young man. You truly love the Lord and His Word. You love others or you wouldn’t be here. God is using you in awesome ways Matt( if you don’t mind if I call you Matt). You stay strong and keep taking one day at a time. Holy Spirit won’t leave you ever. Sometimes the Lord heals instantly and sometimes it’s over time. Either way God is with you and He won’t let you fall. I’m praying for you daily. 🙏🛐

[@lionoffireraw]

I’m glad that these videos are impacting you. Thank you for the encouragement. Matt 🙏

[@PamelaLynn-i1m]

I pray by His stripes you are healed, And I hope you see healing on this side brother! I am so glad you have an eternal perspective and know that the pain you have been suffering is nothing compared to the glory that is coming, hallelujah! Transparency is what is needed for many wear masks (I used to) but truth sets us free! God bless you!!

[@godchickwendy]

Hi Matt I love that you have opened up about the very real effects that you have been suffering with. The worst thing for a Christian going through a mental health issue is other Christians who keep giving you 'positive' advice & think that giving you a scripture is going to heal you. They can make you feel like you're forgetting the Gospel & that you're ungrateful to Jesus. They are Job's comforters, just ignore them & just cling to the Lord in your own way. I love you in Christ brother, as you said yourself you keep doing the best you can whilst going through this trial. God bless you, you're a wonderful man of God x

[@lionoffireraw]

That might be a video worth making. I was thinking about it couple of days ago. Christians can often not know how to deal with people that are suffering in these ways. They mean well, but as you say, they are like Job’s comforters. Thank you so much for your encouragement. God bless you, Matt

[@godchickwendy]

@lionoffireraw you're very welcome Matt God be with you as you navigate your recovery 🙏

[@vbiosfera]

I hope you´re doing better. I know the feeling of being absolutely stuck and seeing no way out. Not wanting to die, but thinking about it nevertheless. My life is a lot better than it has been, but some things may never heal while here on earth. I´ve been blessed immensely by your videos. You have a gift and I´m thankful you share that despite your hardships. Thank you so much! God bless you!

[@wendymt35]

Thank you. I needed to see this. I have had similar experiences. This is exactly what I am trying to do in my life now.

[@PulpitoftheLastDays]

What an amazing testimony, to go through all of that and still encourage others: 'Cast your cares upon Him, for He cares for you.' To see these things as 'light afflictions, which work in us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory,' as you do, is equally amazing, stunningly true, and something most of us would never really grasp, except in seeing the example of the few. And your hopeful attitude toward God transforms everything. It gives others the encouragement they need to go through their own lesser trials, and still hold fast to Him. Thanks for sharing this and staying true.

[@susannahpeters778]

Thank you so much! Very helpful 🙏

[@MaryR7256]

Prayers for you 🙏

[@teresamcnulty8471]

Oh, lamb,....lamb....I'm so glad you say there are people so you aren't alone. That it sounds like they help. You ARE ministering and you ARE a blessing. I will slip you into my prayers too. I'm so glad you seem to be getting better!

[@lionoffireraw]

God bless you. Thank you. Matt 🙏

[@mikem3789]

Prayers for you Matt 🙏 Stay the course

[@heidiross3461]

Thank You for sharing and being honest about how it is when we can't cope in life the way we would like to due to illness. I understand you, you are not alone. Like you said our suffering is not in vain and ultimately our lives should gloriy God and you are fulfilling God's calling on your life. You are in my prayers, Your sister in Christ, greetings and lots of love from Germany

[@janelledonovan1684]

I will continue to pray for you, my brother in Christ. Please don't give up. God will see you through this.

[@David-828]

You are a blessing Matt , will be praying for your situation daily.

[@stiglet_mcg]

Wow Matt, I feel so much for you; I'm sorry you're going through such a hellish time. I am glad that your videos are a blessing for you; they are definitely a blessing for us viewers. Thank you. And how wonderful that you know what God's calling is on your life, it must be a comfort knowing you're in the right place. I am so encouraged to hear at the end you talking of this suffering not going to waste. God has an amazing way of using these unwanted experiences for His glory and our good.

[@LuciaImparato9390]

God is using you to help others, my brother! You have surely been helping me, thank you!

[@CleoAru]

Thankyou Great Encouragement for us all. May GOD Be with all of us and heal us according to His Will and His way.

[@wendymichiko]

Thank you for sharing your journey with us brother. Your faith and perseverance inspires this community. Prayers for continued healing Matt. God bless you.

[@FaithWalker-tm6yo]

I will add you to my daily prayers. Thank you for being candid and so clear and describing your suffering I came across your channel about two months ago and until now have not subscribed. Having said that, your channel regularly appears on my feed and today I will subscribe. I want you to know that you have such a special gift. It is so clear that you are a man of integrity and deep faith. Your honesty shines through like a bright star. I wish you healing, but even in suffering, as you have said, God can use us to bring others closer to him.

[@desiriegiebler7353]

Thank you for your honesty❤

[@LuciaImparato9390]

I'm so glad you're better, Matt! You have really been thru hell!I'm so glad God is keeping you!;You are a true blessing!

[@GA-Vic]

Thank you Matt and to the rest of these people here, who are going through similar things and are experiencing difficulties in their lives. I, have nobody around me here to talk with.We, must keep the Faith, be of Long suffering and Fight the Good Fight. We, are strong here. God, only allows this stuff to happen to us because He knows that we can take it! 😓🙏