My Eating Disorder

this is kind of a serious video for me :/ I don't open up too often because the internet is the worst kind of judge on a person's soul. but I figured if I can make one less person like me feel less alone in this world than it's worth it.
thanks for watching!
feel free to leave a comment below or tweet me @trishapaytas - I'm on social media 24/7 - always here for u. i meant that
xo
trish
this video was recorded december 2013. sharing it now because i just felt ready to

[@Shrink18]

My fiancé sat me down for the first time in the over six years of my eating disorder (Bulimia) and told me babe, you need to stop puking, it's bad for you. I said yeah yeah I will I know.. And he said no seriously, you need to stop it's not good for you. I took it to heart but I felt I couldn't stop. I felt sad and he was sick which made me even more sad.. But we didn't know what the sickness was, til he was rushed in for emergency brain surgery. That night, I said goodbye to bulimia , cigarettes and binge drinking forever. I'm spent all my time praying, taking care of my babe in the hospital (he was in a coma) and fasting (for spiritual reasons). My baby was taken from me sept 28th.. After 14 weeks in a coma. The nurses made a mistake and he bled to death. I will NEVER go back to that ugly eating disorder again.. Thanks to my hero, Ali

[@rebeccayoung1980]

I am honestly so sorry for your loss. But I would like to congratulate you on your decision to stop this harmful behaviour. He would be so proud of you. Process your loss in whichever way you can, as long as it's safe. Back to the original point, all my love goes out to you and your partner's family. Carry on fighting xxx

[@Sephymuffins]

I am SO sorry.

[@Shrink18]

Thanks ladies.

[@barbielee8861]

That's so awful. I'm so sorry *hug*

[@FB-kj2pn]

Oh my god thats so sad :((( I feel so sorry for you!!;(( I wish u the best 💕

[@Natalya11679]

I hate when someone says "you're still hungry? didn't you just eat?" like it irritates me so much. anyway, I love you Trish!! I'm finally becoming more happy with my body. I'm more confident now. I still try to work out a little but I'm definitely more confident than I was before.

[@user-ep3fw8gi3c]

Ikr it so irritates me too.

[@skylarclark9025]

+Natalya Croston I know what you mean! I'd have a piece of pie or a few cookies after supper and someone would say "do you stop eating?" or "are you hungry or just eating?"

[@xeomaragonzalez4312]

or when ppl say dammmm u finished that fast

[@skylarclark9025]

Yeah.

[@complicated3976]

Your profile speaks how irritated you are. +Natalya Croston

[@se7endreams]

food addiction is very real. frighteningly similar to drug addiction.

[@LoveforaLotus]

youtube comments make me lose faith in humanity

[@BriOhBri123]

Same.... These comments disgust me

[@rickydillon]

you're so brave to share all of that, i respect you a lot

[@mehreen4778]

Ily ricky

[@Leannatayloracrobat9]

Hi ❤️

[@exh-hm2sm]

thank you ricky

[@Lulu-ty9vk]

Ricky omg

[@JenniferSreporterplus]

I am anorexic, and I totally agree with you when you say it's "mental", it is in my head. It started when I was in middle school and continued through my first year in high school. At my lowest point I was 90 pounds and 5'7" and people would be like "Why don't you just eat?" And I just literally couldn't. I could not make myself eat. I wanted to eat. I wanted to be normal. I wanted to go have pizza with my friends and then not have to exercise to the point of blacking out afterwards, but I literally couldn't. I love that you touched on that. It's not something an anorexic can control, we can't "just eat." Another important thing that you touched on is when people make comments about other people's food. Even though I'm healthy now and have been for a few years, it still bothers me so much when people are like "Wow, you must have been hungry" or "You ate a lot!" or "Really, you're going to eat that?" It really, really bothers me when people do that to the point where it almost triggered a relapse once. That's why I'm so careful about what I say about food around other people, because I just don't know what they're dealing with. Good for you for making this video Trish. I hope you're working to manage your binge eating disorder. :)

[@rebeccam.8867]

You are a RECOVERED anorexic, please don't scare people into thinking that you are still like this. But anyways, your comment is so truthful. It's all mental. And my sister is the same, whenever she goes to get a second plate during dinner, everyone starts yelling at her saying "You have a problem!" and "Are you serious, your first plate had MORE than enough food!" Even I do this. But it's more like that we are really concerned about her relationship with food, because she almost NEVER stops eating. She's not fat, but with her habits of over-eating and eating more than she needs, she will run into the problem of being fat in the future, because she has no control.

[@amirab9502]

You aren't alone. I've been there right with you.

[@JenniferSreporterplus]

Rebecca M. Recovered anorexic. You're right, excuse me. I usually make that distinction, I don't know why I didn't this time.

[@kindleurie6845]

Yup. It's just like telling a depressed person to "be happy" you can't just automatically change your brain function.

[@nyancake123]

I am anorexic too, and you said what I always wanted to say

[@festivesurprise4180]

I hate how people think binge eating is because we are lazy gluttons. It's ruined my life and all my self esteem, i still struggle with it. I've lost all my confidence, and i dread going to school, hanging out with friends, ect. because of this disorder. I binge eat because i think "i'm so fat. who would ever want me. there's nothing left to lose, so i might as well binge", then i feel guilty and more worthless afterwards, which leads me to think "i'm so fat. who would ever want me. there's nothing left to lose, so i might as well binge" and the cycle goes on and on. Well i tried to tell my "best friend" about my problem, all she said was "yeah. it's called emotional eating. everyone does it". I can't explain it well, but it's awful. They just don't get it. sigh.

[@mandi33]

Same... 😕 Seeing as you posted this 4 years ago, I hope you have been able to make some progress with your situation and are doing much better. If you're still struggling, keep on keepin' on, you're not alone.

[@NickiTheBestRapper]

I totally understand where you're coming from. I have depression and anxiety. Everytime it gets bad I eat everything we have at home. I feel good while eating but after I finish eating I feel so sad and hate myself. Because I'm always looking for something to ease the pain. I can't say I don't love food I love it so much but I also hate it. Idk if you get what i mean lol

[@NickiTheBestRapper]

***** Thank you :) ♥

[@nightbloom783]

I feel the same way

[@laneatkinson6441]

That was my life for so long D: I can't believe I'm not the only one, no one seemed to understand me when I went through that.

[@AyshaLovesYou]

I'm exactly the same even with depression and anxiety. Luckily I have a fast metabolism so i don't gain weight from the food i eat but I'm getting help and now my diet is getting under control.

[@claubabe16]

I have the exact same problem. You're not alone!

[@stormydavis130]

I remember in Middle School my gym teacher walked by me at lunch and pat my back after saying "eat up fatty." I wasn't that big, it was just that I wasn't as skinny as other girls... but I can't eat in public because of that now.

[@maelluvido9764]

Wow

[@stormydavis130]

hannahmae lluvido yeah people are jerks.. :/

[@LiLo-ob3iu]

you know what, if people honestly care about what you look like and if you eat or not FUCK THEM. honestly, fuck them. don't be afraid to eat in public. be strong.

[@maelluvido9764]

Lol Frfr Lexus Chase

[@maelluvido9764]

To be honest tho. The little things actually makes you attractive..if that makes sense

[@Pigsbum53ASMR]

Christ people are ignorant. Trish you are so brave for talking about this. You are so so courageous. I can not applaud you enough for this. Ignore those who aren't educated in the area. Eating disorders are serious problems that take over people's lives. WE LOVE YOU!

[@rsandovalarrieta]

Yes I know it is not a good thing I used to have an eating disorder

[@FugiKittyCat]

Hay girl (pigsbum) I luv seeing u on her channel. Cuz I luv ur ASMr videos!! :):):) and I agree with ur positive comment :) ur beautiful girly!!

[@TheMrJamHot]

OMG Nicole!!

[@rainbowdashunharmed]

Your completely right Nicole (:

[@WhatWouldHitchensSay]

Not a eating disorder it's a culture disorder, good ol Amurika

[@LaceyClaireMHG]

I've never seen a more relatable video in my whole life. Right now just after I watched this I don't feel alone anymore

[@poopeeloopee6248]

bitch

[@emceha9003]

+Poopee Loopee your name says it all

[@yungplague7093]

same

[@lala-wt8co]

Indianamericanbeauty why the fuck are you insulting her? Stupid ass bitch, what did she say? I think you should sit down and shut the fuck up sweety, not even shutting up will make you look pretty.

[@lillym5908]

Guys some of you don't understand what an eating disorder is. A binge eating disorder can be even harder to get over than anorexia or bulimia. Your brain's chemistry gets affected. It's not a choice. Everyone overeats once in a while but binge eating disorder includes having urges to eat large amounts of food that that seem impossible to resist. I wish people would realize it is literally a binge EATING DISORDER. Trisha can't currently just "stop eating so much" or whatever because it's not her fault she is going through this. Trish is a good person and she doesn't deserve to get all this hate. And I know the haters will say it's tough love, to help her get through her eating disorder by calling her fat or whatever but trust me, that's not how you help someone with an eating disorder. In fact, the person will usually just go to food for comfort from negative comments anyway. I'm just trying to say that this isn't something she can control, just like a person with anorexia. I've had a binge disorder for a few years and it's tormenting. So people who are going to anorexics and giving them sympathy and going to Trisha's channel and giving her hate need to get educated and grow up.

[@AlexA-fv8co]

Lilly M d

[@trevonw.7825]

Lilly M That's a looong ass comment. 😂😂

[@TiffanyGrey]

Lilly M well said

[@SuperGamerboy27]

Lilly M . I agree with you. I have the same disorder and I hate my weight and body build but like she said in the video it is very hard to control my eating especially during bad times with my life. But no one sees it as a disorder. They're all like "just stop eating so much and work out." But they don't realize how much easier that is said than done for people with BED

[@lxadonis]

Don't worry, Trish. Im 18yo, 5'5'' and weight 108 pounds... Guess what? People call me fat because I used to weight 80 pounds. Now that Im healthy, and not awfully underweight (still am for my height), people still call me FAT. Society is fucked up.

[@joeyphan9104]

wtf thats not okay if anything you're really skinny

[@CHRISSIDAYYUM]

As long as you're happy stuff what other people say :)

[@Emmacwallace99]

You are absolutely fine and not overweight for your height and age. I am 5'3" and 145 pounds and the correct weight for my age and height is 120-150. It all depends on BMI. Everyone is different. You can't tell how much someone weighs by looking at them because it all has to do with your body type. Your body is absolutely perfect the way it is, as long you're staying healthy (:!

[@ConswaMcGaga]

how is 108 pounds underweight? maybe it's different for girls but that sounds pretty healthy to me.

[@FenixDragon43]

108 pounds and they're calling you fat??? Dang wow. Sorry you have to deal with that.

[@PPGandRRBfan]

I remember going to a store once to buy chips and snacks like that, and when I was about to pay a girl behind me told me "wow you're gonna eat all that?" and started laughing with her friend. Since then I hate going to grocery stores because I feel judged for what I buy.

[@ThundaBunz]

dont ever feel bad about that. Just laugh and be like "well at least I dont starve myself and have the balls to live my life the way I want to" it's stupid people feel the need to bring down others but if you let it get to you then they win. Kick ass and rock out!

[@KatsGap]

You should of been like to the customer service person, "HOLD MA SHIT" and then punch the girl in the face lool

[@ihuntiersiphonevlogs]

she and her friend would be cut the fuck up if it were me.

[@sonofappreciation]

Noo, don't listen to that girl. That happened to me too and I ended up grocery shopping only in the middle of the night when I knew no one would be in the store. I eventually realized how silly it was and that the girl is just projecting her insecurities onto you, don't let her have that power because you are your own individual. People go grocery shopping for families sometimes, so if I buy 4 bags of bagels that doesn't mean all of them for me but for a family. It's no one's business what anybody buys. I hope you get over your 'grocery shopping anxiety', sometimes I still have my moments but I tell those thoughts to shut up and that I'm going to own it. Imagine how insecure and stupid that girl must feel inside that she goes out of her way to put strangers on the spot.

[@laurajoshi6474]

So sorry you had to deal with that bitch.

[@sizzleiizzle4360]

i miss this trish :((((( i miss her bubbly personality, cute makeup and natural lips, they suit her so much better

[@ibkristykat]

i LOVE her natural lips, i agree. :)

[@rebeccaspratling2865]

The personality is fake but yes her natural lips look so much better in my opinion.

[@annarileyloves414]

Me too I miss her old lip and I miss this trisha so much

[@SophieJackson1993]

People change

[@georgiamoore684]

Dude shut up what

[@thelifeweoncehad]

I also feel like I will never be truly happy with my weight. I love working out & going to the gym but I love junk food, salty foods & pizza & garlic bread. I remember one time at my last job I was just talking about how I wanted to start bike riding as a hobby because I was feeling unhappy with my weight. Then when I went to eat lunch & was eating cheese buns my boss says "You're having two of those? No wonder your gaining weight." & that really hurt me a lot. Society really has this idea that people need to be perfectly skinny to be beautiful, which I have come to accept that I will never be that person.

[@WreathStorm]

Wow. Your boss was really mean to say such a thing. I hope you don't take it too much to heart and strive towards confidence and happiness. I'm the EXACT same way. I signed up for my group fitness class last night, and I'm excited as ever for it, but I just ate half of a ten inch pizza, two of those 50 cent bags of chips you see at corner stores, and a five pound bag of mandarins. It's horrible to still love the gym, but to also love the fatty foods. The thing is, people judge us so much for it without knowing how it is to be so conflicted. We can only be happy with the way we are while always working out to our heart's content. Don't ever stop trying, and always stay strong!

[@greenspark101]

Nicole Semple Your boss is a jackass. I'm sorry that happened to you, I had a random person at a movie theater do that to me once when I was salting my popcorn. Like WTF?? Why do you think my sodium (or cheese buns or whatever!) is any of your damn business lol. That was years ago, I wish people would remember that certain things will echo in people's heads for the rest of their lives. You're beautiful!!!

[@janlopez8458]

Nicole Semple I do not think people make those comments to be rude or mean . It is more about how we are wired to think logically : I always think ' If you want to lose weight , why are you eating pizza ? etc. ' And I do know what binge eating is about. My metabolic system saved me , then 100 % raw & paying attention also rescued me. I now can have 20+ bananas in one day & I am small ! And yes 100 lbs in 5th grade sounds heavy , I am not even 100 now , I am 44+ years old.

[@bnapolean]

I don't know if she tries to dumb herself down or something, but watching this video and a few others you can tell that she's actually really smart. In some of her videos she seems really stupid but I feel like that's not the real her.

[@scoutelsie]

I agree.

[@Alex-gg8fv]

She mentions this in the beginning of her video when she makes the comment about her "troll videos" Those videos are basically Trisha making herself into a character, which makes for an entertaining video (especially considering some people in the comments don't know that she's purposefully being fake)

[@niikkiichiickii]

She would be no where near as successful as she is, and would not be able to afford a quarter of the things she buys, if she were "dumb"! I can't believe people don't see that lol!

[@gracierose3]

I agree with you Trish. It is pretty crazy that now fifth graders are calling each other fat. I was like too skinny and under weight and people still called me fat. To this day I'm not the skinniest. I'm 13 & 135 pounds. I get called thunder thighs and I have people who will laugh because my legs jiggle or whatever. I honestly think it is terrible that the society we live in is so obsessed with skinniness and perfection that the youngest girls and boys are becoming anorexic because of bullying or pictures of models. So I agree it is pretty crazy that nowadays "fat" is used on the daily.

[@charlottekerr1573]

I can relate so much! I'm 13, 127 pounds, similar to your weight and am 5'8, and I'm healthy but for a long time I didn't think I was, you look so good!!xx

[@DawnSky0]

It is crazy how judgmental people (especially kids) are these day. How tall are you? I'm 13 and 5'2 at 97-100 pounds. So if you're taller you should be perfectly proportionate. Even then 135 isn't that much especially since puberty and hormones can mess with a girls body at these ages. I think as long as someone isn't unhealthy they're fine. It's very rare to be born like the girls in the magazines, though sadly for us some girls are born with perfect bodies.

[@balljointedbunny]

I'm 13, anorexia, 72 pounds, still called fat

[@Chris-cn1ic]

GiGi Brooks Honestly, im 14, I weigh 86 and I also get called fat but you know everyone is always gonna judge you no matter how perfect you are, Trust me, you don't have to be skinny to be beautiful, everyone is beautiful in their own way. hope this helped I guess

[@Choccoco]

It's the same fucking thing and it makes me furious. When I was in the fifth grade, and even younger, people called me fat because I was about twelve pounds over the 'normal' weight. And even people in my family would comment on my weight and it's just sad. I would never wish the self esteem and weight issues I've had on other people. It's horrible. It's so sad that young girls get called fat when they are in the age of still developing. Trust me, I'm 18 and I weigh more that I ever did when I was in my younger teens. I feel more comfortable about myself but back then I WAS thinner than I thought. Please realize that all people are different and we all can't and won't be the size we aren't meant to be. I want you all that commented to know that you are beautiful and that all those people can fuck off because you don't have to live up to their standards. Just be yourself. Please.

[@kayctaylor]

WHOW. Trisha I owe you an apology. Seriously, I apologize for saying ugly things about you on your recent video. You are not as shallow as you come off. I have been a binge eater since I was five years old. It is a struggle. I know this is an older video from the summer. I would take this Trish over a Trolling Trish any day.

[@maraboumjolkchoklad475]

Hi kc taylor. This is really big of you, being willing and able to admit your mistakes shows that you’re a mature and good person. We all make mistakes and I’m glad you learned something.

[@lauralangt7416]

Love this comment. So nice to read something positive these days ❤️

[@catya]

omg you would look so good with you hair entirely brown.. it would brighten up your futures plus your eyes would look amazing

[@RhianAutumn]

When my Dad was dying of terminal cancer a few years back I struggled to see him being unable to eat, and it really put me off food. To the point where the only thing I would have during the say was sugar free red bull and coffee. On top of that I calorie controlled any solid food item I put into my mouth. I felt so out of control with coming to grips with the fact my father was going to die that this was the only way I could feel in control. This was when I was 20. I'm 23 now and sometimes still have problems with food but no way near as badly. If anything I have a pretty normal relationship with food now. To any person who says anything insensitive about a person eating too much or too little, you actually have no right to say anything at all because you have no idea what that person was or is going through. For you to put your 2 cents in about it is ridiculous and unwarranted. Either show some humanity and compassion or simply gtfo because your "opinion" on this subject matter has no relevance.

[@LovesDarkBlue]

That's a really sad but interesting story. I've never heard anything like it. I am happy for you that you sort of have it figured out, at least to the point that you understand why you feel the way you do. I'm sorry you have that problem and about your dad. I hope things get better for you.

[@RhianAutumn]

LovesDarkBlue Thanks lovely. Everything is fine now! This video hit close to home with me so I'm really glad Trish did a video on it.

[@emilygarber5171]

My dad died of terminal cancer as well, and in the later stages of the cancer, he wasn't able to eat. Our situations are different but just know that you are not alone, and I went through emotional eating and would get comments from my friends saying that I ate too much

[@_01bbyjxo45]

i feel like i can relate to this so much especially the bit about people commenting on how quickly i get hungry or how fast i have eaten something i thought i was the only one thankyou so much

[@RhianAutumn]

Emily Garber It's hard for people to understand, especially friends and partners. They see it from an outside perspective, your friends had no right to say what they said to you, but at the same time you have to forgive them for not knowing. x

[@beccaliz]

Trish I completely understand what you're saying. The first time I was called fat was in 4th grade when a boy called me fat in front of my whole class, and back then I wasn't even big! Then when I was in middle school I had a "group of friends" who would tease me and blatantly be mean to me during school. (it was a new school and I had no other friends) I was lucky when they would find someone else for the day to pick on.. (Which I always just walked away from..) but I remember I never ate lunch, I would get my tray and sit next to my so called friends and sometimes they would pick on me about not eating to the point where one of them said if I don't eat something that should would force me too.. I even remember when I would like something that they made for that day and I would still feel to uncomfortable to eat it.. I failed gym because I didn't ever want to change my clothes in front of the other girls nor wear shorts in front of the class.. Then when I would get home I would eat a bunch of stuff before dinner. It got bad to the point where I was in the nurses room because I didn't normal eat breakfast or lunch so I would feel physically sick.. And that also got bad to the point where I would go there just to not be around my friends.. Staying on the whole Eating Disorder though I think I may have one too, food also makes me happy at the times that I really feel sad. Then in high school I went through a bad break up and started cutting, my mom found out and had me talk to a therapist and a few doctors and I was diagnosed with social anxiety and depression, which didn't help my eating.. I've never really liked myself body wise I sometimes have good days where I feel like I look good. And sometimes complete opposite. I love food.. I love baking and cooking! I tell myself all the time, one day when I get my own place I will eat healthy and exercise every day.. I want to do it where I am but we are always eating quickly and getting fast food, and all we have is a microwave at the moment, until we move out.. I feel bad though because I never thought I would or could have an eating disorder just like you said I only ever heard about anorexia and bulimia. (since one of my older sisters had both at one point) Thank you for sharing this with us, I could really tell you were being serious and honest... Sorry for this long comment..

[@cobra8461]

I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm overweight too but I've kind of just accepted it over time and people don't even bother to get on me about it because they know I don't care. My advice is to just accept that you're you, try to loose some weight, and find good friends who actually care about you and like you because of your personality :)

[@formulaswan3555]

It’s so crazy coming back to this after hearing how Jason used to dig her out for her eating

[@xXcandieraindropsXx]

Binge eating disorder can actually be genetic, and it is a very common eating disorder. If you take a nutrician class this is typically explained. Just quit talking shit.

[@michie2x2mia]

who's talking shit?

[@xXcandieraindropsXx]

I meant to reply to a comment and I guess I didnt.

[@ErikaMayX]

You need to pay attention to the Raw Till 4 diet. Listen to what Freelee the banana girl tells you, she knows what she's talking about. It's fine to binge out but eat the right foods and you'll be okay.

[@GemuNoMerodi]

you can't just "eat the right foods", it's a mental disorder not a choice

[@GemuNoMerodi]

ok, but I bet it wasn't a week and then you changed for the better. Personally I like freelee, but I wouldn't suggest her type of vegan (I am not trying to offend but I don't remember the name of the ones that eat fruit)

[@GemuNoMerodi]

I know, that's what I was saying to someone in the comments above. Yeah I know what freelee's videos are about but I don't personally think freelee and trisha should have the same style of eating. Freelee is pretty strict with her eating habits while I think Trisha just wants to eat cleaner and not lose meat and other stuff

[@polkadot0tanktop]

I have to disagree with the idea that it's fine to binge eat as long as you're eating the right foods. Binge eating on ANY food is setting your body up to expect large volumes of food in order to feel satisfied. Then, when you "fall off the wagon," like the majority of us will if you cut out major food groups, you'll end up binge-eating anything and everything. Learning to eat a variety of healthy foods when you're hungry and stopping when you're satisfied, not stuffed, is the key to overcoming any eating disorder. Binge-eating "safe foods" (which is how an ED'd mind may perceive Freelee's diet) is not the long-term solution.

[@LauraSuperCool88]

polkadot0tanktop FreeLee has been on the diet for over 7 years, I would say it's definitely long term (if you are committed) ... and I don't think it's okay to binge eat either, you should eat when you're hungry and stop when you are full - definitely - but because the calorie source of meat and dairy are so dense, you need a bigger amount of fruit and veggies to make up for that dense source, which is essentially why you eat more!

[@xxbateel]

I relate to you trisha .. Everybody around me calls me fat even my own mom and I wear size medium but for some reason I'm called fat

[@user-mj6yk3tf2e]

If u wear medium , you are nowhere near fat! Whoever says you're fat, don't believe them because they are probably insecure about themselves xx

[@SylviaGdeVries]

***** How is that comment in any way helpful or useful at all.

[@ChelseaNicoleWatt]

You have fingernails, but you are not fingernails. You have fat, but you are not fat. See the difference?

[@nellatella8181]

So true

[@haleycook5394]

These comments made me feel better about myself :)

[@memo9]

dude wtf 130 pounds at 5'4 or watever IS NOT FAT. it's in the healthy/normal category. what is everyone on about?

[@MrPzzzh]

Exactly

[@memo9]

Hanting Chen no, looking past her eating patterns and outer appearance, her weight is in the healthy category of any height/weight chart, google it.

[@pinheadlarry2921]

I'm 4'11 and 115? Am I fat?

[@britneyk8]

+Hanting Chen thats not true at all. Overweight for someone at 5'4" is anything greater than 140 lbs. and thats if ur all fat, but if u have a lot of muscle and weigh more than 140 then thats normal. I know that because I'm 5'4" and I've researched whats healthy for my height. Also everybody's "normal" weight range depends on who u r.

[@kamilahbrown3384]

I'm 5'4 and 125 pounds. I'm very skinny and I have a thigh gap and am very fit. Also it puts my bmi at around 21 or 22. It all depends.

[@courtneymariah4362]

she looks so much more beautiful with these lips. it's really sad what too much money and hollywood/fame can do to someone. how can she not think she looked way better here??

[@cianlogan9988]

Courtney Amber86 it doesn’t matter, she’s happy with it . Leave her be

[@MadisonAxford]

you are so beautiful and honest and a role model to so many!!

[@cw8682]

I know ! She makes me feel more better about myself when I'm down :)

[@purpleandpink122]

Amen to a positive comment finally.

[@elizabethcumberland8876]

ikr Trisha is amazing. Ps love your videos madison :)

[@SoldOut4JC1981]

Please check out my hard working daughter's beauty blog. Shes 13 and posts affordable ways to stay healthy, to look your best and most important to embrace your natural beauty. Www.antsnaturalbeauty.weebly.com

[@beekay700]

Girl preach. My mum always says things like "worse things happen around the world, we are lucky" and of course yes while that is true, it doesn't mean that the things that my family and I go through are not difficult or any less significant. You can't always brush everything under the rug because its easier and you don't think you should feel that way. Love ya Trish! Thankyou for sharing. Love from Australia xx

[@rachelr6145]

I can't express how much this video related to me, and how much I wanted to cry. I thought none understood, I may not binge during the weekend but I don't eat breakfast of lunch but I binge at home, I do also suffer from my weight. My sisters say that I will grote out of it but I really don't have to much Hope on that. I think you are really pretty and don't let people say other wise and I'm super glad that you are happy with your self. It doesn't matter what other people think only what you do, but I know it's hard to be happy with your self because you think of what you should be like. Even a normal weight is hard to maintain. There I'm done ranting have a good day :)

[@maddyG7414]

It's funny because I've watched several binge eating disorder videos because I personally have never heard of it and the comments on the other videos were all ones of support and the girls in those videos were not overweight. Yet here we have someone who may be a bit overweight and instantly the comments are mostly hateful words and people telling her she's a gluttonous whale. Wtf people? From the research I've been doing, this is a real thing and it's purely primitive: you starve yourself and your body FORCES you to binge. It's not about willpower, it's a survival instinct.

[@judystahlman1620]

This is one of the bes t videos Trish has ever put out she sounds so real and intelligent and she is just beautiful.

[@ChelseaNicoleWatt]

You guys: Eating disorders are a serious serious issue. You can have an eating disorder and be super skinny or you can be heavier. It is a MENTAL thing. It is not something you can force yourself to or see from the outside. Please do not comment that Trish is "attention whoring, making excuses, ect." Because it makes those of us have had or are struggling with eating disorders offended. x

[@auntiesnixx4849]

I literally could relate to EVERYTHING in this video. But with me, I've never been small. I mean when I was in 3rd or 4th grade (I thought it was 3rd grade), I weighed 173 pounds. That's a LOT for someone in elementary school! But, when 5th grade rolled around, I decided to start losing weight and by 6th grade I got down to 145. Then the summer rolled around and no one was judging me for what I was eating and I lost control. I gained all my weight back plus two extra pounds. I've gained and lost and gained and lost 3 times. I'm bigger again since I started being homeschooled and obviously I don't have to deal with the pressures of public school and now I'm the biggest I've ever been. I've been constantly struggling with trying to get myself to not binge eat and it's not working. I came to a realization not to long ago that maybe I had a binge eating disorder and I seem to show all the signs for it. If there's a whole box of something, I feel obligated to eating it until it's gone. I have to sneak food into my room because, I don't like my family seeing the amount of food I'm gonna eat. It's not like they're gonna judge me for it, but I always feel mentally judged by people. When I was still going to public school, I used to have to only eat food on my tray and ate it slowly. I never asked for people's food and I never drank the milk because, I was watching carbs and calories back then. I mean the list goes on, and on, and on. This video makes me feel less alone though because, you seem to have gone through the same struggles I have. Thank you so much for posting this video, Trish! It really helps people like me.

[@auntiesnixx4849]

JulesGoneLoco What do you mean help me???

[@fluffiah7225]

***** this is exactly what is happening to me right now. Im really scared to gain weight because i've already gained 2 pounds this summer. I lost 25 pounds over this past year but now im gaining it back. I don't know how to deal with it. All i wanna do is throw out all the junk out of my kitchen and loose weight. But my mother always has to buy horrible stuff, and clearly it doesn't help. I've been trying to tell her "Stop buying junk food." I'm 132 pounds and 5'1.

[@gutovskyy]

fluffiah ggg

[@user-ep3fw8gi3c]

Me too. I'm in 5th grade and 138 pounds. I can only wear woman's clothes.

[@sarahblanchard4309]

Thank you. I'm going back to treatment for EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified) next week and i'm 18 and I'm so glad I found this. It's so refreshing to hear it from a point of view that's NOT bulimia/anorexia. i love you

[@michealjonas]

Trisha Just Know you are a beautiful person, Your weight does not define you and I'm so proud of you for making this video.

[@michealjonas]

EnvyNation20 Cool story Bro...

[@michealjonas]

EmmanuelxMusic I'm glad someone agrees with me :)

[@michealjonas]

EmmanuelxMusic thats nice of you to say thank you :D

[@billkaulitzerfin]

you are everywhere

[@michealjonas]

Amanda Kvamsø I wish I could be I'd save so much on flights.

[@Puffpuffaye]

i hate when cashiers comment on the food i'm getting. UGH stfu. self check out for the win

[@shaffshenton]

Where are you from? Never had anyone in England do this lol!

[@Puffpuffaye]

Shaffron Shenton the usa.. it happens all the time :| so rude

[@kingnamsuxx]

self check out is always the way out!

[@PanterBieber]

if i buy candy or something they always say like ur probably very hungry. can i just buy candy please stfu

[@TheFroggyCat]

Makes fun of the food just be like "Oh im sorry is this unhealthy? Let me just set it all back" or "Why the fuck would you sell it then"

[@annastark3209]

These comments that I am reading are so disgusting and so self absorbed. You people, (the ones who are bashing and are denying what she is saying) are ignorant as hell. I have struggled with the same thing myself. You don't tell someone that what they're claiming to be a disorder, is just gluttonous. Yes, there are people in this world that are gluttonous. But there ARE too people who have a real binge eating disorder. Are you too self-absorbed and wanting to prove everyone wrong because you think you're right to realize this? Are you a medical doctor or therapist to decide in what she has? She had the strength and the willpower to put this on the internet, but all you guys are doing is bashing on her. Are you kidding me? You people need to get your heads out of your asses and realize just because you think you know you're right, doesn't mean you're right. There is scientific proof on this disorder. I struggle with the same thing and have since i was in 4th grade. There are many different factors along with this disorder, too. People these days are sick, making these kinds of comments. Do you know what effects that can put onto someone who has a disorder like this, or disorders that can lead up to something like this? Think before you post your comments.

[@leafrenchy146]

binge eating is an eating disorder. you are disgusting to take the time to write that loong comment. she isn't self absorbed she is just proud of herself and thinks she is pretty and i think everyone should be like that. just because someone loves themselves doesn't make them self absorbed at all.

[@annastark3209]

Luna Desu You must be illiterate. I AM on HER SIDE. Re-read this, honey. I never said she was self absorbed. I said the people who think that disorder is fake and want to name it as self absorbed are dumb. I said binge eating disorder is a disorder 5 times. I have binge eating disorder myself. Can you not read?

[@leafrenchy146]

Yes I am sorry I read your comment wrong. Yes I can read, like I said I read it wrong.

[@faith8267]

These comments are making me so sad. I haven't been diagnosed or anything like that, but I've done a hell of a lot of research and I am almost certain that I have binge eating disorder too. It's terrifying because you don't really notice what you're doing until it's over. You could just plan on eating a sandwich and end up eating 3 sandwiches and a bag of chips. You get sick, feel guilty and repeat. Or you could just eat without stopping and somehow never seem full. It's crazy how much your body takes over without you noticing. I'm not big by any means. I'm 15 and 120 pounds so I'm average weight. But I used to be the same height and a lot smaller. And lately I've been trying to get more in shape and start a healthy lifestyle. This disorder is really holding me back. I suck at portions and cravings and everything food related. I don't know what to do. I know if I keep it up I could gain a lot of weight or just get extremely depressed. If you haven't gone through this, you have no right to judge her because eating disorders are totally shitty things. They're very hard.

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

I admire you so much for opening up about this!

[@teganodonovan9721]

Omg I watch your videos 💖 and I love in Dublin 💖🍉 and I really love your vlogs so can u do more please 💖💖💖

[@sophiewitcombe12]

i live in Dublin too lol ^^

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

tegan o donovan awh so cool! :) I will indeed - I uploaded 2 vlogs this week on top of normal videos, and today I'm going to a makeup masterclass with some other KZbinrs which I'll vlog! Hugs! xx

[@MT-my2mf]

Petition for Trish to completely go brunette!

[@emmakay1749]

AGREED!

[@TheJussimara]

YES!

[@itsyaboipawpaw653]

Brunettes have more fun!

[@Piscesmoonlight]

When I went vegan my binge eating stopped because I realized it's due to lack of nutrients and restriction.. When you allow yourself to eat unlimited amounts of vegan foods that will nourish your body and brain such as fruits, oatmeal, homemade (lower fat) fries etc, then the binge eating kinda goes away.. :) L.A is the easiest place in the world to be vegan theres so many vegan restaurants.

[@Xtina4444]

I'm vegan and I'm gaining so much weight. Not because I'm vegan, but because I eat non stop even when I'm not hungry. At times I just eat to.. eat. I never really had that issue before.

[@sai5556]

+Christina .H8sYou try binging on fruit or vegetables, they wont make you fat!

[@dondraper2974]

+Emily Coldwell not true. you will still get fat eating unlimited oatmeal.

[@trinitychanelle5065]

+Summer Heartss fruit and vegetables have calories. too many calories will make you fat. 5,000 calories in fruit= weight gain. 5,000 calories in mcdonalds= weight gain. plain and simple

[@awesomeness8419]

I live a state above. People here are more into Beer, meat, and diners. It's harder, yet..I'm able to be vegan.

[@oldladytrexarms]

As a kid who got made fun of for having a rough birth which led to seizures, arthritis, bone disease in my arms, nerve issues, vertigo, deformed arm joints, buck teeth, bad vision, a hearing issue, and a speech impediment, I got used to trying my best not to stand out so people wouldn't make fun of me. I've had to deal with chronic pain my whole life on top of being made fun of for being weird since I was a super sheltered child and moved a lot and for my looks. My family tried their best to make sure I was happy and did what they could for my self esteem. I was always skinny because of my seizures and very rarely ate any food except for junk food. In high school, I never really ate anything and was super skinny- 115 pounds or so. Then, my arms and pain got worse. Currently, I'm crippled by lack of movement in my left arm from my recent surgery. I've had 3 major surgeries on my arms in the past 13 years, losing range of motion, gaining arthritis and diseases in my arms and being in constant pain and fatigue which make me feel old. I've lost my appetite completely and never feel hungry. I have to force myself, now, to eat. But, I am constantly thirsty and I gained lots of weight from my surgeries and arthritis, and no matter what I do for diets and exercising, I can't lose it. I get made fun of and called fat and just recently got screamed at by my doctor and told I was lazy and don't try and he blames me for all the surgeries and physical therapies I've had and says deformities are an excuse. I'm trying to fight my eating disorders and get better, but it's really hard with everything that's going on. It's good that you opened up, because it's better to talk about it than to keep it to yourself.

[@enlightenedmcgee]

Wow. You've been through a lot. I'm sorry that other people made you feel you had to hide to avoid being made fun of. You just continue to be who you are. You sound like a great person and an inspiration perhaps for people who feel the same.

[@oldladytrexarms]

Adrienne Mohr Thank you so much for the kind words. It means a lot to me! :)

[@lilsnackcakez3140]

I have bad teeth and been depressed kinda "emo"(not Anymore this was in Jr high and highschool) and I had the worst speech impediment so I would limit the words I used so I didn't sound dumb but I wasn't learning or practicing my words

[@lilsnackcakez3140]

+Lilsnackcakez I turned to drugs to numb the pain but I'm on the right track remember things will pass you will find people who love you

[@oldladytrexarms]

Lilsnackcakez Thank you! I'm sorry you had to have a rough life as well. I wish you all the best of luck in life. :)

[@yasminelazghab1011]

trisha wow, i'm telling you, fasting for 5 days then binging , then fasting again , is a type of bulimia :( if you want to get rid of all the things you ate by fasting it's the same as purging it out. just a different way of doing it .

[@JustAnotherSunny]

I'm pretty sure bulimia is only if she purges with throwing up or extreme exercise between binging.

[@emmlem]

It's not quite bulimia, like the person above said, you have to purge by vomiting or using laxatives after binging. Still just as serious though!

[@jordancarbrey40]

Actually there are different types of bulimia to the people above. Look it up.

[@TheWilderGirl]

It is bulimia indeed: any bingeing and trying to compensate (fasting is a common method to balance) is considered bulimia.

[@sunastreorosula]

Thank you for doing this video Trish! I really relate to you better now, knowing that we both went though the same things. I stopped eating when a boy I liked called be "heavy", and after that the anorexia took over my life. Every single day I thought about food & how I can't eat or I'll be fat again. I was only 12 at the time, (I'm 14 now) and over the summer it got a lot worse. I started passing out and losing some of my hair... Before all this happened I was 117lbs. In the course of 3 months I went down to 94lbs. I looked like a skeleton & it was awful. The weight kept falling of, even when I was eating more. I was put in one of those hospitals for people with eating disorders & it scared me to death. I got out after only 3 days. I stopped getting help, because I didn't want any help. I new I could do it on my own & get the eating disorder out of my head. It took me a year to get back to being healthy. Even now it's still a struggle for me. Society makes you think that you have to have a "thigh gap" to be pretty. But in reality everyone is pretty just being who they are. Lol sorry this turned into a long rant/story, but I've never told anyone this & I just wanted to say thank you. :)

[@jessicah2490]

I hope you're doing better now, it's sad how someone's words can have the power to make someone change themselves

[@sunastreorosula]

Thank you! I am doing a lot better now:) I agree! I don't understand how some people can judge others like that.

[@ijustwanttocomment3276]

If you struggle with BED or bulimia, I would really recommend a book called "Brain over binge".

[@mollykinsella4290]

I completely agree that it's insensitive for people to comment on what someone else is eating/how much they ate. also, to me (someone who is currently struggling with eating) it sounds like bulimia when you would binge for 2 days and then starve for the next 5 days (as means of purging/losing weight). thank you for sharing your story, you are inspiring

[@mollykinsella4290]

Ŋєκσ Ãмı I have done research on eating disorders but I understand that personal experience sometimes speaks louder. Thank you for politely explaining to me, I hope you can get help and get better

[@Daisy-kg4ho]

Ãмı fasting after a binge is a type of bulimia. I would know.

[@AngelSouls]

I'm so glad you made this video. Years ago, the Mayo clinic sent me away and said that if I had Bulimia or Anorexia they could help. But my issue was just about "eating less." We're getting smarter ;) So well said. xo!

[@hann_0497]

Free lee the banana girl is totally right. Trish posts her life on youtube she made a video about 'tired of being fat' its clear to everyone that shes not comfortable with her size. I dont understand her 'curvy and loving it' book as she complains about her weight all of the time yet she still eats crappy foods. She makes drunk videos after she has slept with someone and orders pizza right after. Im sorry but all free lee is doing is offering her help to get her HEALTHY.

[@amiegrant4368]

But freelees videos aren't necessarily 'healthy' for people to watch either because they glamorize thigh gaps and flat stomachs which don't always add up to being healthy or beautiful and can actually be signs of being underweight. Freelees message is basically 'if you dont eat like me and look like me then you're fat and unhealthy'. At least trisha tells everyone they look beautiful no matter what their size

[@Noushka05]

Amie Grant Freelee doesn't glamorize those things, she's telling to people there's a healthy way to get fit and lean (as opposed to anorexia and starving for example). I really don't see what's wrong with that. I understand her message in a very different way, something like "if you want to be healthy, fit, to feel good about yourself, try raw till 4, it made incredible good to me and could do it to you too". Tell people they look beautiful no matter their size is nice but not that healthy considering the big health risks associated with being overweight. No amount of self pleasing affirmations will lower your cholesterol. Sometimes in order to get better you have to face the rough truth first...

[@rachelsgaming]

obviously you didnt watch this video or you can't comprehend what she is saying (trish) , she cant help that she binge eats and binge eating can include junk food

[@rachelsgaming]

Yeah maybe she does need mental help, but this is her youtube and your hating on her because shes being public about it, if it makes you so mad then don't watch it your just being childish and most of all annoying

[@rachelsgaming]

when was she mean to people trying to help lol

[@kevin2092001]

I just want to hug you as you are soo adorable. I understand the eating thing as I have anxiety and other issues that makes me prone to binge eating. My mom binge eat and my whole family ate junk food a lot as we didn't have a lot of money growing up and it made us all happy eating junk food. I'm just coming to realize how much even now binge eating is STILL part of my life,and now my fiancee also. Soo hard to come to grip with knowing you have a eating disorder and the reason behind them. Lots of childhood trauma and PTSD. I pray for your healing from your binge eating and healing from you trauma as well. You are a AWESOME woman with lots of love and support around you. You truly are one of a kind and I'm glad I found your post. Shine on.

[@rachelhaske5575]

I hate my body and I also hate myself because I have a Disorder that is Down syndrome is causes me everything anything about me will m and the way I am why was I supposed to do

[@courtlelliott]

No, you seem wonderful! Don't let a disorder bring you down! You can accomplish anything!

[@leejane9688]

You are beautiful girl. Everyday. Shine bright like a diamond.

[@oligrace6648]

My cousin has downs. She is one of the most wonderful beautiful and happiest girls i know and im sure you are too. Keep your head up sweety. 💗

[@emmawigand8246]

Rachel Haske dont hate your self i know its easier said then done but dont hate your self you are perfect the way you are stay strong

[@monkeycheeks101]

Rachel Haske different isn't bad.

[@GothinaHD-hj7im]

Guys this video was recorded in Dec 2013. :)

[@baileyelizabeth8785]

I'm pretty sure that is an Elsa doll beside her, and the movie came out a few months ago

[@hayleylauren4543]

Bailey Elizabeth It actually came out November last year.

[@oliviaashleigh0413]

Frozen came out November 2013 so...

[@zoemarie4882]

Bailey Elizabeth It's in the description box, also Frozen was released November 2013.

[@ElementalrxKX]

Don't listen to them Gothina1999HD you're the best bra

[@Sesime]

I've had a binge eating disorder since I was old enough to remember. I used to eat and eat until I made myself get sick. That went on until I was 8. Then i stretched my stomach so much from binge eating that I could eat incredible amounts of food that an 8 year old. stomach shouldn't be able to hold. My eating got better until my grandmother died. Then I was so sad and depressed I would continue binge eating again. Over the years I've controlled it. I usually now only eat one large meal a day to keep it under control. It's hard though. It isn't something you can just stop.

[@ThatBrazilChick]

why not eat 5 small meal portions a day? that way u won't feel starved but still eating small amounts of food...

[@johnbean9591]

Eating one large meal a day is horrible for your metabolism and will only make you fatter. Like already suggested, eating several small meals a day is the healthier route and you literally never feel hungry. Try this and see if you lose any weight.

[@Sesime]

Do you guys not understand? Apparently not. It's extremely hard to eat small portions at a time. I'm like Trisha. When I get something of one thing I think I have to eat it all. Which in the long run would be worse for me than just eating one meal.

[@ThatBrazilChick]

***** yeah I had a binge eating disorder growing up. Truth is only you can get past it. You have to really push yourself. Its hard for the first month but it gets easier. You just have to stop saying its hard and you can't do it because you can. Its a mental thing not physical and only you can change your mental wellbeing.

[@emilyfu435]

Michele Gomes ok binge eating I'd eating and you cannot stop, there is NO portion control when there's food around so that makes no sense why she should eat 5 meals a day of one cannot control it and eat until they burst. I knew nothing about binge eating and even just reading her comment I learned that it would be impossible to have "small meals" Jesus Christ.....do people even think????

[@Reejjeecctt]

This video has seriously helped me so much.. I didn't know that "binge eating" was a thing and I'll be 18 in two weeks.. I have been overweight since 5th grade and I noticed my weight started getting out of control when I was in 7th grade. I was 5'3 and weighed over 200 lbs.. I've dealt with depression and anxiety ever since then. I'm a senior this year and currently weigh 268. I wouldn't say that I'm not active because I walk and stuff with my friends, but I'm not as active as I would like to be. I just recently found your account and I'm already obsessed. You are beautiful and a complete inspiration to me! I'm not really getting my point across here lol.. I'm kind of all over the place, but my question is: ( I hope you see my comment and respond back because it would mean the absolute world to me) I wanted to know if you could post videos for motivation and basically things you do to help maintain your weight and things like that... Thank you so much. Xoxo

[@ceciliasoto1330]

I just absolutely love this video. I don't think I have ever liked a video on KZbin or actually commented on a video on KZbin, I usually just watch. But honestly Trish this is just a great video it hopefully opened a lot of people's eyes and it most definitely probably helped out a lot of people as well. I'm glad this is so positive and everything. This is just amazing. Keep it up beautiful (:

[@sammypolverari]

Your hair looks adorable!!! :)

[@floralisa1975]

The number on the scale is just what it is, a number. That number doesn't define you or who you are.

[@sarahkate6966]

I used to be a binge eater. I have overcome that hurdle by dealing with it head on. It takes a lot of integrity to not binge, but when your brain tells you to eat something, you don't really need it. You just have to tell yourself that you don't need it. It's okay if you fall into temptation every now and then, but eventually you will overcome binge eating. Another way is to begin binging on fruits and vegetables because they are good for your body; however, it is healthier to deal with binging head on because overcoming this disorder that so many people have will help you persevere in other things in life. Just be safe Trish.

[@misstea-bl4pq]

this is why I watch trish. some people would never tell anyone if they had an eating disorder but trish tells us about it in detail where the whole world can criticize her in hopes that she can help someone... it always irks me when people either say "how are you not hungry?" to me or when I do eat, "wow you sure are eating a lot for your size!" because I've always been small but because of this video I know that other people have similar feelings... thanks trish!!!

[@thehapagirl92]

I've suffered from various eating disorders for a decade. When I was 12 in 2004 anorexia manifested itself in my mind subsequently followed by bulimia. My therapist "cured" me 2 years later in 2006 when I was 14. I went through high school in an on/off relationship with bulimia, but I also began to dabble with binge eating. My binge eating throughout 2006-2010 (my years of high school) caused me to go from 5'3 and 108 lbs to 5'3 and 164 lbs. When I graduated in 2010 I decided I wanted to lose weight but I didn't finally start doing so in 2012 when I was 20. From 2012 until now I've lost the weight I gained in high school and then some. Unfortunately the weight loss has brought my anorexia out again... So now at age 22 I'm thin again but I'm dealing with anorexia again as well :p. It truly is mental. I don't WANT to have negative thoughts about my body, but it's really hard not to because my mind is so controlling and manipulative. What's really difficult to accept is that I have a problem with eating disorders and it's not common with my family. Everyone on both sides of my family are thin. I'm mixed-race with Asian and White and my parents share the same mix along with family on both sides and I always say that they got the "skinny Asian gene" so they don't have to worry about being fat, and I got the "fat gene" :p

[@Fergie10rock]

I feel the exact same about those little comments about either how much you eat or dont eat. I tend to not eat that much at all and it's nothing serious and im not severely underweight but whenever i am craving something or i just feel like eating a bigger portion my family will constantly comment on it and say things like "really, you're not going to finish that!" But, then when i take a smaller portion they'll say things like "that's all?" "have some more!". I just feel like no matter how much i eat or dont eat my own family will constantly have a problem with it. I wish i could eat the way i wanted without getting those annoying comments.

[@arianadooper7901]

i know exactly how you feel some days I'm just not hungry or something like that

[@perlafraga7680]

My family does the exact same thing to me

[@AchillexMaddie23]

Very brave of you to share! Binge eating is so scary, Ive struggled with it as well. Its so confusing because for me, when I binged, it felt AMAZING.. until afterwords and my world came crashing down. I would completely lose control but eating as much as i could as fast as i could was like getting high. And as soon as Id realize what Id done, everything would flip upside down and I felt awful... Again, very very brave of you for sharing! :) I wish you many many years of recovery and happiness.

[@kezaralove3680]

Basically all of this is the exact same for me. Having BED since a young age but not knowing for so long, going through starving/binging cycles, being called fat in elementary school even though I really wasn't, linking food with happiness but then also using it as comfort when things were bad, literally everything in this video happened to or applies to me as well. Thank you for posting this, it's nice to know there are people who have gone through the same thing and this video really helped me. You are and amazing and wonderful person Trish, love ya! :)

[@aleksandraalexandra1404]

Your pillow and your pictures doesn't prove that you love yourself. It shows how insecure you actually are.

[@rebeccam.8867]

Insecure? Really?

[@sierraKENZIEstyle]

I was thinking that.. Same thing about the selfies 🙈

[@sierraKENZIEstyle]

nancy kobie Maybe, lol I have the opposite problem because I can never take a selfie. but im insecure about my looks too

[@sierraKENZIEstyle]

***** So true, they say silence speaks volumes

[@victoriathom4792]

***** so why are you talking and commenting on a video

[@XxBL33P3RxX]

I'm so glad you made this video. I won't go into detail but I know what you're going through, you really helped me realize more about myself. Thank you

[@17LadyDeath]

I am so sorry you went through this. I am sitting her getting emotional because I relate to you so much right now.

[@hannahmckale3986]

I know it’s been a while since this was posted, however, I think what I’m about to say is important. Associating food with happy memories and then emotional eating is how it turns into a coping mechanism. Emotional eating is normal, and it works. Food naturally makes you feel better because you go into a relaxed state so your body can digest better. It calming you down only adds to the coping mechanism and then it turns into the only mechanism, especially when you don’t know anything else. You reach for that food even though you’re already full, you eat more when you’re upset, you eat super fast, and you have this urge to eat that’s almost impossible to refuse. BED is very real and very serious. It is NOT just an excuse of why someone is plus sized. It is a mental disorder. It is hard. It is an actual disorder. It is not something that you can just stop. That’s like telling someone with PTSD to just stop having flashbacks, or someone with cancer to just stop having it. It makes so sense. I am 16 years old and I have used food as a coping mechanism my entire life to comfort myself through my parents divorce and my dads abuse. I cannot control it as easy as people seem to think I can. It is genuinely an issue that takes time.

[@hopeangel8365]

I have been struggling between anorexia and binge eating disorder. And I appreciate this video a lot. I love you and I think you are beautiful and your confidence is very inspiring, I love you.

[@Haileyalexis_]

If 130 is a lot then i really need to lose weight....

[@kellyhensley592]

It depends on how old and how tall you are

[@gymmonkey2001]

I'm 15 years old and I weigh 135 pounds. I'm a gymnast and basically all of it is muscle. So in technical terms I am overweight, but I am in very good shape. Muscle weighs three times as much as fat. So don't worry :)

[@Alex-gg8fv]

That doesn't mean that at all! As long as you're being healthy, you're fine :) The thing that Trisha was commenting on was that although she may have been a normal weight, she herself wasn't healthy at the time she was that weight.

[@brittanye3595]

Thank you so much for sharing this. I've been dealing with an eating disorder for several years. This past year I went somewhat public with it and couldn't believe how many people came to me for help. Thank you again! This gives me hope as I'm struggling again!

[@magdalenamaria3416]

I'm really glad to see this kind of video out there. although not everyone will understand it's good to spread awareness to those who are open to receiving it. I've been through my own troubles so I know it's not easy to talk about this. props to you :)

[@GothinaHD-hj7im]

Oh Trish... You're gorgeous whatever size you are, your size will not alter your personality. Sure, everyone wants to be a few pounds lighter, but is it really worth it? You lavish on gorgeous clothing but if you loose weight Trish, you can't wear half of it. I mean of course it would be a great opportunity to donate it but you said you were trying to get over a shopping addiction. Personally I love the fact you're curvy, many KZbinrs I watch are thin and make me feel like I should be them or I won't be accepted or have any chance at making it on KZbin. Then I watch you and instantly feel better and realise I don't have to be 100lbs to be accepted, I'm beautiful the way I am. Its funny how people call you obese, you're certainly not. You are perfect in my eyes, honestly. I will always be a fishy no matter what size you are or no matter how you look. Your personality rocks & so do you. :)

[@ArtsandCook101]

I have dealt with the same problem. I would eat constantly, when in bored, upset or "hungry". I wouldn't watch what I ate and would eat so much during the day. Then I'd sit there wishing "oh I wish I was skinny" and this year I finally realised I needed to change my life style or I'd face consequences in the future. I've been watching what I eat and eating smaller portions and etc and working out and I've lost about 20 pounds. And its nice for other people that have noticed. It is difficult though since food was a major part of my lifestyle .

[@kathmandu17]

Good for you, and best of luck in the future! :)

[@paigenovak9930]

good job! keep it upp! stay stronggg!

[@elianageo1859]

congrats girl!! same here so far i lost 55lbs and trust me it gets easier ..it took me like almost a year and a half to lose weight but u have to be determined. its really hard but believe in yourself.

[@ArtsandCook101]

Thanks so much!

[@ArtsandCook101]

beautywithpaige Thank you!

[@Feminazi1dc]

my family always called me an endless pit and commented on my body even tho i was literally like 130lbs 5'4 when i was a teenager. i struggle with this too. maybe if my family were a safe space i wouldnt have found safety in other places

[@julietbernard7506]

Thank you so much Trish!!! II actually have a binge eating disorder as well, so I just thank you for helping e know there are people out there that struggle with the same things as I do. I hope you know that you are one of the most beautiful people I have ever had the chance of knowing of, inside and out, and that you are very much loved by a lot of people. Love you Trish! Keep up with your amazing videos!

[@briannabeauty1121]

I know how you feel. I battled anorexia a few months ago. And it is a mental thing. Anyone who thinks we're just "crazy" is wrong. We view ourselves as fat. We point out skin on our stomach and perceive it as fat. And I wouldn't eat and I loved the feeling of emptiness. Anyway, it's hard to go through and if anyone is battling an eating disorder feel free to talk to me(:

[@ElenaGenevinne]

Hey Trisha. I was wondering if you have ever gotten and cosmetic surgeries?

[@WINWITHunWIN]

her breasts were done. She never mentioned any other work, so I think thats it.

[@louisemae9029]

JOHNLUUU I FUCKING LOVE U

[@mer151270]

Omg John LuLu ❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@strawberrycakes1011]

I love when people I subscribed too comment on trisha's videos ♥♡★☆ and yes her boobies were evened out. But they were about the same size naturally. . She wasn't like an A cup before

[@iiHeyMoon]

john luuu

[@SpecialK210]

These days people are all twigs and when your a normal size you're called fat. My life at school

[@elijah4714]

I literally have the exact same issue and my parents don't even know.

[@karlaloveschu]

Trish I really love you , people can be so insensitive and rude. How dare someone tell another that they don't have a disorder or downplay their problems. I'm a psych major and believe it or not she can easily fall into many different disorders. & the way she opens up about them is really brave , love you hun.

[@Crows_Den]

I have to say, every time I stumble on this channel I end up thinking "eeh, I'm not sure how I feel about this person. She seems a little too self centered." But I have to say, she has the most healthy thought process I've heard of. Most people are SO afraid of getting help or reaching out for any reason. The fact that you're not only SUPER open about getting help, but you're also so open about any sort of flaw you have is awesome! That's great. More people need to think like that.

[@helenm8982]

Its so reassuring to hear someone else suffering with the same issues, so many people don't understand binge eating disorder as a true illness and I hate hearing 'you're not thin enough to have an eating disorder'. Love you so much girl, keep on going xx

[@haleywilliams4326]

I've been watching your videos for the past couple days and I came across this one. I've been through almost exactly the same things- I'm sensitive about all things food and I have an eating disorder. While I, of course, know others are like me and go through the same stuff, it's awesome knowing someone who has so many admirers could go through the same things I have. thank you for sharing your story, it actually means so much to me.

[@JungianHeights]

I'm a UK size 16 and I've always struggled with my weight, I still do. I feel ugly and fat all of the time. I don't feel like an actual person because I'm not thin. I can't wear anything without looking awful. I know what you mean about the comments because they affect me to and it's annoying because people are like 'just have willpower' or 'don't eat' but it isn't that easy or simple

[@jemilla1448]

I get where you're coming from, but judging by your profile pic- you honestly do look beautiful😳 ...lol I'm trying to help. I think you have this thing going in your mind about you being fat and ugly, but really? I can promise you that your not:)

[@gamerplusgirly780]

Me too exactly the same EXaCTly

[@hannahcatful]

Same like i dont even wanna go anywhere because i feel like people are staring or making fun of me

[@JungianHeights]

***** Same here, you're not alone

[@trinitysmith778]

I feel the same and wear the same jeans but a jacket a jeans make me comfortable to forget about all the hate but it doesn't help with thin as hell people around me saying that their fat /:

[@heatherallard9387]

Ricky dillon just called u strong. GIRL U SHOULD BE PROUD.

[@claire660]

I saw that too and I'm like holy crap!!!!

[@victoriagodwin2286]

honestly trish you are such an inspiration to me. i know you hear this so many times but honestly lately ive had major weight problems and recently ive been soo confident because of you! you are literally such a role model! honestly its your confidence with your body! and you are literally amazing

[@camillewerth5455]

Thank you so much for your videos. You are such an amazing person and so brave for coming out and discussing this with us! I know there are some ignorant people commenting about their stupid opinions about disorders being made up as an excuse for laziness, but I know that it isn't and I hope that you surround yourself with people who support you because I find you so amazing and despite what others say I think that you are an inspiration and your confidence inspires me:)! I love you sooso much never stop being anything but yourself.

[@msglambabe03]

This exactly explains what I do. It's scary how dead on it is.

[@sukira21]

That's it, I'm making a twitter account. Just because I want to follow Trish.

[@TeamEdward4Eva1]

Thank you so much for this video. I've struggled with weight all my life and it recently has begun making me constantly depressed. I really needed to hear your supportive words and just to know that you're not alone. You are beautiful and such a role model.

[@phoebemay3591]

thank you, I struggle with portion sizes and totally related to the 'cant stop until it's gone'. this actually really helpful, thank you x

[@DayLynnAcacia]

TRISH YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL AND WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH

[@annakate54321]

Im only 13 and i relate to this completely. But I weigh a lot more than you did/do

[@tarahelou2491]

Same. I weigh 150 and I'm always embarrassed to tell people.

[@RoutineVideos]

+ Tara Jane Right! :(

[@kaytillie]

Tara Jane I haven't weighed myself in over a year, but the last time I weighed myself I was at 200. And I'm only 15 but I am 6 feet tall.

[@MelissaCanadianfruity]

Freelee the Banana Girl Anna check her out

[@emilymoore7660]

Tara Jane then why do you tell people?lol

[@RoselSmidheda]

I know it's been like almost 4 months since you posted this, but I just watched it and it made me cry so bad. Everything you say is relevant to my "way of living". If I buy some sort of pre-packaged food I need to eat everything in that package before I can stop. I know I need to stop and I know my limits, I also get tired of eating sometimes but I keep eating anyway because there's like some sort of built in response, if you get what I mean? I have never heard of it as a disorder before, but I'm so, SO happy to know that there are others out there just like me who has the same kind of issues as I do, and that it actually can be a disorder of some sort, since it's not really anything I can control or whatever. And I agree that some people need to like, think about what they're actually saying before they open their mouths, and that just because people dies from AIDS or starving doesn't mean that I can't have problems too that can fill up my entire way of living. So thank you, so, so much for posting this video! It means alot to me and I can now begin to see myself in a new way, since I know what it could all be about. You're the best ever. Stay strong!

[@officallysierra]

I love your videos so much, you make me feel so much better about myself, if I ever feel bad about my weight or even something else that I feel bad about, I just watch your videos and you just always help me through so much. I honestly can relate to that too, I use to like not eat on the week days and weekend decide to just stuff my face and knowing that I'm not the only one is just so calming to hear. You will always be my inspiration and my favorite person ever. ❤️

[@kathmandu17]

See, the issues Trisha highlighted in this video are why it's not always enough to tell someone who is overweight to simply "stop eating" - because that alone doesn't deal with the complex mental and emotional connections that so many people (like Trisha) have with food. When you are someone who is an emotional eater and consumes calories as a way of amplifying happiness or ameliorating sadness, a regular regime of diet and exercise probably isn't gonna be enough to keep the weight off long-term without dealing with the underlying mental and emotional issues going on as well. It's one of the big reasons why so many people either fail to lose weight or fail to keep it off long-term. But I guess it's easier for some people who don't have weight issues to just call people who do "lazy, self-indulgent fat-asses" than to even attempt to understand these deeper-seated issues. Very unfortunate, really. /sigh/

[@ktblfc]

She was so much more gorgeous without the lip filler x3

[@samig.9344]

Good for her for trying to get healthier. She's acknowledging that she has a problem and is trying to work through it. That's more than can be said for many people out there. It's great that she wanted to make this video to help others not feel alone in what they are going through. There are so many people that think they need to shame others in order to change them. All that does is make them feel bad about themselves and then they won't feel like doing anything. In my case, when someone makes me feel bad about myself I just turn off all the lights, lie in bed for a long time, cry, and remember everything I've ever done wrong. It doesn't inspire me to be a better person. Videos like this do. This is inspiring to me and reminds me that I have issues to work on as well.

[@rowergirl2011]

This video is why I am subscribing to you. I suffer with an eating disorder as well and I feel like I can connect with you because you truly understand what it feels like to have a disordered relationship with food. It is lifelong battle but it really comforts me that there are other people that struggle with the same things as me. I completely understand what you mean by people commenting on what you eat, I am extremely sensitive to people commenting on my eating habits.