My Ectopic Pregnancy | Let's Talk IBD

[@LetsTalkIBD]

Please know I am reading every single comment and am so grateful for this community ❤

[@OneLove101.]

❤️🙏

[@kburkes4245]

I am so sorry for your pain. Sending love and light ❤

[@karencull9518]

We love you and care about you. Take all the time you need for yourself. ❤️ 💙 💜

[@lynda777]

I'm so sorry Maggie. Love, prayers and hugs.

[@janebray5150]

Sorry for you both, Maggie . Sending love.❤

[@KathyLeuer]

I’m so sorry! My first pregnancy at 38 years old after years of infertility was an ectopic pregnancy that burst before it was discovered. I bled internally and almost lost my life. I also lost a fallopian tube and listening to you brings me back to all those emotions I went through. The deep deep grief for the baby that was never to be. That was 25 years ago. I went on to have 3 children through IVF. Please don’t give up! You are so strong. I just know you will get pregnant. It will happen. Much love to you.

[@123e53]

I had an ectopic pregnancy and I lost one of my fallopian tube but now I have two kids with one fallopian tube

[@seravt258]

I had the same thing. The pain leading up to it was horrible pain.

[@livinglifeabundantly33]

I had an ectopic pregnancy that the tube ruptured. I agree this brings back all those feelings. I feel for this girl. I did get pregnant 2 more times after. The next pregnancy was with twins, but one sac didn't have a yolk.

[@sarahspencer5902]

Oh Maggie I am sooo sorry. I had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. I’m sitting here listening to your words about the uphill battle Everything you said resonates with me. You are so strong !! Let the hurt out. It’s ok to be angry and sad. Keep going. You can get through this. Sending you the biggest hug. ❤❤

[@karenpruitt321]

I am so so sorry, I had three tubal pregnancies, I was to go on and have three miscarriages, Never to have a child. I however have two nieces who I love dearly and have been in their lives since birth! This was all 30 years ago when IVF was first heard of and was very costly!! My prayers are with you!!

[@kathikennedy9034]

There are no words of comfort when you lose a child, Maggie. It hurts. It hurts to your core and the pain is unbearable. Knowing that you can get pregnant, and knowing that they found the ectopic pregnancy before it burst your tube doesn't cancel the pain you're feeling. Please let yourself mourn for your loss, for the loved and wanted child that won't be. And when your doctors tell you that you are ready, please don't be afraid to try again. In the meantime, know that you are loved and admired by so many folks around the world. Crying with you and sending tight hugs.

[@rannasmithson512]

Absolutely, I agree. Don't give up and try again when the time is right! Stay strong and I'll be praying for you Maggie.

[@davidlaroche4537]

Well said…

[@anniehustvedt8853]

Thank you for your courage to share your experience and feelings about it. It helps so many women who are struggling to get pregnant. I can’t help but love you. Take excellent care of yourself. ❤

[@karenl2795]

Oh honey. Hang in there. You are entitled to feel sad. You are not a failure. It just wasn’t meant to be this time. The fact that the procedure worked is a very good sign. You are one of the strongest people I have ever seen on YT. You give so many people hope and encouragement and you make us, or at least me, laugh. Grieve and take care of yourself. We got you!❤

[@rdixauthor]

100% ❤

[@SherryBaby2003]

I had infertility issues and by the time I was seriously ready to address them I was in my 40s and I was told I was too old I gave up and didn’t pursue it any further and now I’m 61 and have never been able to experience pregnancy and having a baby. That desire has somewhat been fulfilled through grand children and my niece but it’s not the same. I hope you will be able to experience the beautiful journey of pregnancy🙏🏽

[@patriciabaldwin4680]

My heart is breaking for you, my daughter cannot have children and has known since she was in her early twenties so she threw herself into work and told herself she wasn’t enough. She did not date for 22 years, she just worked 70 hours a week (she too is an R N). She had given up on life and 2 years ago she met her soulmate. He has been recently divorced with 2 teenage children. He captured her heart and they are getting married, she just turned 50. She is happy now or the first time in decades and I thank God every day for this young man who tells her every day that she is more than enough!🙏🏻♥🙏🏻

[@cherishinman9896]

Long time viewer, but I don't think I've ever commented before: I've known friends and family with colostomies/IBD, find medical stuff fascinating, and was born and partially raised in southcentral PA (and I have family in York, Schuylkill County, and Quakertown), so I kinda love your channel. Man, do I wish I could give you the biggest hug as I've been through this and it just SUCKS. It's so damn hard, and I wish I could shield all women from it. I had an ectopic pregnancy in December 2015/January 2016. It was completely and totally unexpected, though my husband and I were excited initially when we realized we were pregnant around December 18, 2015, it quickly shifted to terror when I went from spotting to a confirmed miscarriage to pain that took me to the ground and then an ER on Christmas Eve. The ER refused completely to perform an ultrasound, basically told me I was hysterical, and sent me home. My regular OBGYN (with admitting privileges at a different hospital) was away visiting family, and the midwife covering didn't know me and went only off of what the ER told her and my quantitative HCGs with her in the days prior; she had no idea I had had scores of chronic pain issues but that this event was beyond even my levels. I walked around with that horrifying pain and bleeding for two weeks. Went to work and everything because I couldn't get a diagnose beyond "It's a miscarriage; suck it up buttercup." On (I think) January 7th my doctor returned from her vacation and her nurse (to whom I am forever grateful) pulled her aside to advocate for me. My OBGYN called me after hours that evening to go over everything: every symptom, every lab and test in order, the works. After confirming some lab values were out of order, she ordered stat bloodwork and an ultrasound for me in the early morning of January 8th, with a strict order to come straight to her office afterwards. The ultrasound tech, I will never forget, completed my scans, asked when my appointment was, and told me to have a good day before my husband and I heard her SPRINT down the hall the minute the door closed. We learned later she immediately called my OBGYN. I don't remember the sizes of the gestational sac, but I do remember it was right on the cut off of possibly too big for methotrexate without eliminating that as an option. I ended up electing for surgery (a left fallopian tube removal) as the hospital where I would have to go for the labs and the shots was 45 minutes from my house and because I was just DONE. I wanted it over. I was sick of feeling pregnant and the horrifying pain with no end in sight. My appointment with my doctor was at 11; I was in an operating room by 1:30 that afternoon. Turns out my instincts were sound: the horrifying pain on Christmas Eve was my left Fallopian tube tearing, and by a miracle the gestational sac was putting pressure on that tear, keeping me from hemorrhaging. I don't have the full story from the operation, but one of the nurses from that procedure told me she'd never seen that seasoned OB so scared. My husband told me later that my OB came to update him paler than he'd ever seen, pulled him to a private room, and informed him that it was only a miracle I had not bled out in those two weeks because she had no concrete reason medically for how I had walked around that way without catastrophe. We went on to have two beautiful boys in December 2016 and April 2021, but early pregnancy has and (likely) always will be terrifying for me. I spend the first few weeks getting quantitative HCGs every 48 hrs until they're high enough for an ultrasound to confirm everything's ok. Even 8 years later, I still feel robbed in some ways from the joy of pregnancy. I never knew one without fear. I never get to trust my irregular cycle is just a bit late. In some ways, I don't think I'll ever be over the anger I felt knowing that first ER completely bungled my care and quite nearly could have killed me. Go easy on yourself in the next few weeks. You are allowed to feel however you feel, and it likely will change by the day or even the hour. Rage. Sadness. Joy when it's finally over. Guilt for the joy. Constant wonderings of what-ifs. But please, please remind yourself that none of this is your fault. You did nothing wrong because it was never within your control. You never chose Crohn's or fertility issues or an ectopic pregnancy. If you had any control over implantation, we both know you'd have secured that little embryo the best 40ish week stay in Hotel Uteri that could ever have been! Stay secure in that, and continue caring for yourself the ways you know best for you. You'll weather this, though it absolutely sucks. And know a middle aged librarian-to-be is praying for you and sending you all the good thoughts from up here in Southern Tier NY.

[@cozmarine7771]

Could you one day think of adopting

[@cozmarine7771]

Your honesty is breathtaking. Love from Brighton UK ❤

[@mostlyvoid.partiallystars]

Oh gods. I live in Alabama. If this is how NY helps women in this situation I’m doomed :(

[@rosewiththorns4669]

As a woman who can't get pregnant because of treatment from cancer, my heart goes out to you. Take the time you need, hugs 🫂

[@Wee_ones_Xolito]

❤

[@monicaschafer1075]

❤

[@jolovesminnis]

Hang in there. You’ve got this! You’re going to be okay. This is just a bump in the road! Love & prayers to you and hubby!❤️💕

[@lisasallery7860]

Hi. I just read your comment. I also can’t get pregnant due to cancer. I don’t know anyone in my position and I find people just don’t understand. It’s heartbreaking. Have you managed to have any success?

[@DivineDianne]

I had an ectopic recently. My husband and I had decided to start trying after having a loss several years back. It was heartbreaking and painful. They could not see anything in my womb and eventually found it in the abdominal cavity after doing a scans a few days apart. I even prayed that a miracle would happen and the embryo would move. It didn't of course and I had to have surgery. All the blood vessels from the embryo had attached to the outside of my right tube and around my ovaries. They had to remove the tube and thankfully managed to save my right ovary. We were so heartbroken and traumatized. Four months after my surgery we were scared but decided to try again. My right ovary that they had survived, ovulated. My remaining tube caught it! This was on the very first month of trying. I am sitting here typing this, 8 months pregnant with my rainbow baby! 😊 There is hope. You can get pregnant after an ectopic. I felt exactly like you did, like nothing every goes right for me, but your time will come. Blessings are on the way. Don't give up! God bless you.

[@violetka20]

Massive congratulations! Wishing you a safe and joyful rest of pregnancy! 🎉

[@whatthecroc3483]

Congratulations honey!

[@IntenseFoolishness]

Congratulations !!!

[@LetiaClark-cp3cb]

I'm sitting at the ER now trying to decided if I should get the surgery as I'm typing. How long did it take to heal?

[@shirleyvalentine2794]

Maggie please don’t feel like a failure. You are entitled to feel sad and angry but you know it works,just not this time. You feel,all those emotions and when you are ready try again.

[@hollylanevintagetreasures]

Well said. ❤️

[@karenl2795]

100%

[@bobbie9984]

Let me tell you how I got my daughters-I adopted. Two girls from China and two girls from Liberia. I was 51 when I got on the plane to China the first time. I was 58 when I got my two African Queens. First adopted is a doctor now- in her final year of her residency in Anesthesia. My second daughter decided her path was to be a physical therapist aide and then on to fitting folks with splints on their weak extremities. Third daughter works for our fantastic postal service and the 4th daughter has worked several years as the lovely person who brings trays to children and their parents at our children’s hospital. I never knew what love could really be until my first adoption. You and your hubby will be great parents. Please consider adoption when it is appropriate. You are young enough , you have time. You will love it.

[@mariahstieve4958]

My first pregnancy after infertility treatments was an ectopic. It ruptured my tube and I nearly died. All your feelings are valid and even though I’m now several years removed from that experience, I still feel every single one of those things. Just know that an ectopic doesn’t mean it’s over for you. It feels like it now, but it’s not. Keep trying. Don’t give up. We ended up conceiving through IVF in the end and now I’m sitting across from my two beautiful twins typing this. I know the same will happen for you, whichever way you choose to pursue it. Please message if you have any questions.

[@lindalucas9445]

Oh Maggie I am so sorry. I wish I could give you a big hug. I'm 75 and had an ostomy last year and you have been an incredible inspiration and I want great things for you. Thank you for your honesty and just for being you.

[@SusanCoughlin-wu7fl]

I had three failed IUIs and got new insurance and finally had fertility coverage of $25,000 lifetime benefit. I went right to the IVF because I didn’t want to waste the coverage on more failed IUIs. Thankfully my IVF was successful. It is very hard and you are very brave for telling your story. You are a very strong woman!

[@katherinekilgore4498]

This! I am not a doctor, but this seems like the sensible route. ❤

[@catinabox3048]

@@katherinekilgore4498 IVF isn't always (or even usually) successful either. It's taken me four transfers of tested embryos to get a pregnancy to 6 weeks, and I know a lot of people who've needed an upwards of 11-12 retrievals and who knows how many transfers to get their baby.

[@jillr759]

Wow you have the best insurance ever!

[@chime-girl]

Went through IVF, stressed out, had 3 miscarriages & D&C's. Unfortunately things didn't go my way along with a deadbeat gambling ex husband at the time BUT you keep going. At least you got pregnant and the possibility is still there for the future. And you're still young with a terrific partner/hubby. I know how heartbreaking it is to go through because I desperately wanted to go through the experience and be a mom. And there is no substitute for wanting a biological child when your body craves a child especially for women who want babies. Today at 57, I'm involved with the foster care system and although it will never be the same, I do feel I get to live a little part of my dream. AND, I understand your pain and loss. Big hugs to you. ❤When you're ready try again.

[@onlyvistarick3607]

Oh sweetheart I am so sorry, we all love you. And support all you need to do! We will pray for you.😔

[@randomflutterby]

Big huge hugs. I lost two babies early in pregnancy and it's so devastating. Allow yourself you grieve and know it's not your fault.

[@tellitlikeitis6149]

I'm so sorry and your pain is palpable. My daughter went thru 4 failed IUI's and had an Ectopic on the last one and had to take Methotrexate as well. IVF worked on the 2nd try and we have a grandson now. Give yourself a few months to heal both mentally and physically. You will be a great mom someday and I'm praying for you that you have the experience you deserve. Hugs

[@myownplanetarium1151]

Oh girl, my heart breaks for you guys--this is the absolute worst. Sending so much love. I had a miscarriage about three years ago after struggling with infertility. The grief was like an ocean. The only thing that helped me was to give myself permission to feel ALL of those ugly feelings and just allow myself to be. You're not broken. You're not a failure. You're loved and brave.

[@libbylou5154]

Oh Maggie - I am heartbroken for you. Sending you all my love

[@melodypanek448]

I'm sorry. The ectopic experience is disappointing and sad. I experienced it 28 years ago too. I think it's so encouraging that the doctor said he had no doubt you would have a baby. Despite the set back, please don't give up. There's hope!

[@missyme2673]

You are the bravest person I know. You are so much stronger than you realise, you are constantly helping others, like me! Sending you both prayers and lots of love from me in the UK 🇬🇧 🩷💕

[@rose-zj5zv]

❤

[@DancerCrier]

How is this brave? All she has to do to be healthy is not have kids. She’s putting herself through this

[@kahri8488]

You don’t need to absorb your tears, you need to absorb all the love and care from everyone around you. I am so, so sorry. I’ve been watching you for the past few years and I think you’re beyond amazing and you and Zac deserve to be parents 100%. You are such fighters. Keep fighting. We are behind you ❤❤

[@AFleurdePiel]

I am so sorry for your loss. Life is so precious and I feel your pain. I had a miscarriage years ago and the mourning never ends. This is not your fault. Please be gentle with yourself. Sending you both love and strength.

[@AlanaBaker-cp4cy]

I am sorry for your loss. Nothing compares to the pain of losing a child, no matter how young, or old, or the circumstances involved. Thank you for sharing your story. So many other women are out here and in your situation and they need to know they are not alone and the way they feel is normal. My husband and I were never able to have biological children. I wanted to adopt and he didn’t. The day I scheduled my hysterectomy, I signed us up for information about fostering. 8 years later, we have three adopted children, all placed in our home as newborns. We got all the pain and joys of late night feedings, first words, first steps, first days of school with no pregnancy. Not what we wanted but better than we could have imagined. Motherhood, no matter how it happens, is a miracle. You and your husband have to do what’s best for you. We are all here for you no matter what that looks like in the end.

[@jeanettemarks3881]

Maggie, you are not a failure. My husband and and I went through four years of infertility before I became pregnant. I understand that most profound joy. I also know the extreme disappointment when the period comes each month. Infertility is personal and hard. So very hard. I’m sending you much love.

[@sanguinesoulful]

Precious Maggie, as a woman who was never able to get pregnant (my tubes ARE blocked and, like you, I just didn't feel that ivf was for me), I am so broken hearted for you. I remember the one time I ever got a positive pregnancy test, being so disbelieving and delighted, only to be knocked down when the pregnancy didn't stick (chemical pregnancy). To get that close after so much struggle, only to have it fall apart...well, I just know how much that hurts. Love to you during this. ❤

[@CarolineLewton]

Fellow Crohnie here. I couldn’t conceive either! We went directly to IVF (9 years trying!) and now have two girls from two separate fresh rounds. If you can do IVF, do it!! They put the embryo back where it needs to be. I wouldn’t waste funds allocation on IUI. I hear you with how everything is a struggle! I feel exactly the same!!!! Sending you my love! You will get through this!!! ❤

[@michellemelville8979]

Totally agree. IVF would probably be a safer round.

[@sophiejackson7148]

I’m sorry to read some comments about it not being “meant to be.” I completely disagree. Random stuff just happens. Bad things happen to good people and it stinks and it’s not fair. I wish you healing and peace and I’m so sorry for your loss.

[@standup2982]

I agree, some comments are so insensitive.

[@A---ti3zz]

You are not a failure. It is not your fault. It is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

[@kaburnett812]

I admit that when I read the title of this vlog half of my brain felt your grief and was so very sad while the other half was dancing around the room singing “She did it! She got pregnant! Her eggs and Zac’s sperm are compatible!” I am full of hope for you!

[@eml210]

There’s still plenty to hope for…my parents tried for 7 years and eventually had me with IUI and that was 52 years ago. Give it time. They didn’t know my mom’s anatomy’s at the time (half a uterus, one kidney, one ovary, one tube). It can still work!!

[@peachxtaehyung]

Oh wow I didn't know iui was a thing that long ago I'm glad she was able to have one

[@eml210]

@@peachxtaehyung it’s been around for centuries! IVF is much newer…my mom was on all sorts of meds including clomid. Ultrasound wasn’t used at that point or else they would have seen the wonky anatomy and realized that the med were only helping 1/2 the time!!

[@susanw9443]

I have a daughter by IVF who is your age. It is doable. I can only imagine that the science has advanced since then. God bless you on your journey to parenthood. You’ll get there. I’m sure.

[@latteslettersandlife]

I know this pain feels, at present, unbearable. Let yourself feel it, you need it to heal. And I know, there are no words anyone can say that help in this situation but I learned through a very hard life that even the darkest of times give you a grain of hope. Your grain of hope is to know that your body has shown you that life is possible. It will be hard, harder then for most but take that grain of hope and protect it in these dark times. I‘m by no means religious, I‘m not a Momma but I know that grains of hope is all you need to keep going.

[@betsybabf748]

I am so sorry. I have lost 3 babies, a stillborn son, a 1st trimester miscarriage and an ectopic pregnancy which ruptured, causing me to lose one Fallopian tube. I almost died and was rushed into life-saving surgery. I know how emotionally and physically draining it can be. Even with 3 losses, I still had 5 healthy children, including surprise twins. Do not feel like a failure at all!! I have lost three babies, three different ways, and I am still a successful parent. When it happens, everyone feels alone. Unfortunately at least one in four pregnancies end, which many women don't know or don't openly talk about, but sharing, you will realize almost every woman has experienced a similar experience. You will have children, and you and Zak will be absolutely terrific parents. ❤❤

[@mamofoneteen5178]

I’m so fearful of saying the wrong thing because I would hate to add to your pain but I just want you to know that my heart breaks for you and Zack. I am so incredibly sorry for your lose. Maggie you did not fail, nature failed you on this occasion. Your feelings are totally valid. Please take the time you need to grieve with Zack. You are one strong, inspirational lady and I sincerely hope you get what your heart desires. Keep going you are loved.

[@JustOnreano]

I've been there, and it is an acutely painful experience. The ache is deep and indescribable, because the longing to bear children dwells deep within the heart of so many women. For one thing, the hormones intensify emotions, and the intensity of the heartache is almost unbearable. You have some decisions to make, and only you, Zack and your medical team can make them. But for what it's worth, as someone who has walked the same path, I would try again. Think of if! Your body created a miracle! The process worked! It got a little lost along with way, but you know it's possible! Don't lose heart! Not now! Not yet!

[@barbiezwicker3227]

Oh Maggie, my heart goes out to you, losing a child no matter what stage of pregnancy is a hard thing to go through. All the feelings you have are natural to have, but one thing you are not is a failure. Sending love and comfort your way ❤

[@tumunu]

Maggie I feel my heart aching watching your video. There can't be anything worse than losing a child. Apart from the old saying "grief is the price we pay for love" I would just say, now you know you can get pregnant, and that's awesome. A long time ago, a dear old friend of mine had severe trouble conceiving, and after years of trying she and her husband turned to IVF, which was in its infancy at that time. Well their daughter is grown up, out of college, and recently married, so she and her husband will become grandparents sometime in the near future. So, while I can't tell you which path to take, when you feel ready, you and Zach should keep trying. My best wishes go out to you, and I'm sure I am speaking for everybody else who watches you.

[@kalasipple3034]

Maggie, praying for your sweet heart. I went through 10 years of infertility and had my babies through IVF. It’s such a tough process let alone the emotional journey you go through and then to have to go through loss is just devastating. Believing God He will bless your womb with more children and one day you will be united with this sweet baby you wanted so badly. Don’t beat yourself up for having to make this decision. I know your baby knows you loved he or she. You are not a failure. You are still that babies mama and you will be a good mama to a baby on this earth. ❤

[@lilurri]

There are no words. One of my friends that I was talking to about your video suggested I share this. I'm a Crohns patient that had a temporary ileostomy. I had trouble getting pregnant. Your videos and Hannah Witton's videos about trying to get pregnant and when to try and things made it possible for me to get pregnant. I'm so sorry you're going through this. My son is due in June. I've been on bed rest a few times because of complications. But your videos helped me.

[@alejandradiazruiz16]

There’s nothing anyone can say to make you feel better. I know this fact from experience. However, talking about what you are feeling will really help process all those ick feelings you have. You did a great job sharing what you felt, especially in this video. You are going through a very awful time, I wish no one experienced. Mourning the loss of what could have been. Please remember it’s not your fault. You couldn’t have moved those cells into the uterus. You are not to blame. Your body works. It does what it needs to but it just put the cells in the wrong spot. But you can get pregnant. Your body did that. Your body works and you are not to blame. Thank you for honoring us with your time in sharing this very personally and vulnerable moment. You are so kind to think of us during this time. Take all the time you need. We will wait for you. Don’t rush.

[@ceeceelanders1091]

Maggi, It's one step at a time. I'm so sorry you're going through this sadness. Please know that other people do care. My daughter has Crohn's disease also. This is why I follow you, because you help me with her ups & downs. She was diagnosed shortly after giving birth to her only child. This baby girl developed cancer at the age of 3yrs. Please remember that there're many people with problems like you. My daughter is 53 and this cured baby girl is now 31yrs old and works at Stanford Hospital as a surgical tech. Things can & will get better. It's OK to have terrible days of sadness & grief. You hang in there girl. You're loved

[@missyme2673]

I admire your candour and openness. You are helping so many with your journey. xxx ❤

[@RavenDee39]

Im so truly sorry for your loss I had a ectopic pregnancy and my left to ruptured I almost died from bleeding so much in 2020. That's a pain I can NEVER wish on anyone you are in my thoughts and prayers❤😢

[@CattyT1]

I have never wanted to reach into a screen and hug someone more. I’m so so sorry. PLEASE dont blame yourself, this is not your fault, it’s natures fault. She’s amazing a lot of the time and sometimes she is terrible. Why do bad things happen to such lovely people? It is just not fair. Here’s you helping us all so much, and nature can’t help you both. Can we help crowd fund you? You both really deserve to have a positive pregnancy experience and there’s no reason you shouldn’t have that. Never feel you have to post, you are too important to all of us so don’t push yourself. My best friend had an ectopic, a miscarriage then an amazing daughter who is now 21 and my wonderful Goddaughter. Sending lots of virtual hugs xxx

[@jameschristiansson3137]

You've given us so much of yourself. I felt alone in my struggles in the decades Before Maggie. Hope the kind words of all the subscribers posting on this video will be a sweet balm for you in trying times. We love you.

[@MyGlens]

I'm so at a loss for words. I have found so much help and comfort from your videos as I have Crohn's and an ileostomy. Just wish there was something I could say to comfort you and help. I know by looking at all the comments that everyone here has been touched by your sharing of your experiences and just want you to know that there is such a tsunami of warm wishes and hugs being directed your way with hopes for a successful outcome whichever direction you and hubby decide to go. We'll all be here on the sidelines cheering you both on. xXx

[@QueenChatty1]

My heart is so heavy with sadness that this is happening to you. I would not chance another IUI. A friend of mine had back to back ectopics with her IUI and then did IVF and had her baby girl on the first go. You can teach your hubby to administer the shots for you. Remember to take the time you need to feel the feels and digest all of this so you can decide what is next. I wish I was there to give you a hug. ❤

[@kellymoody8326]

I wish I could give you a great big hug. I tried for five years, three IVF’s with ICSI and there is nothing worse than not knowing if you will ever have a child. There are just no words to make it better. Take time, be gentle with yourself for as long as you need to process these feelings and to heal. ❤️

[@morgandoerflein4957]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I didn’t have an ectopic but did experience pregnancy loss at around 6 weeks gestational age. I believe my HCG got up to about 10,000. It took 6 weeks post D&C for my period to return. Please take care of yourself ❤

[@nataliegraham9552]

I just wanted to wrap you up in a hug and let you keep talking, crying, yelling, whatever you needed to do in the moment as I watched your video. Any kind of loss like this is such a horrible experience, especially with what you've endured in your fertility journey so far. My own first pregnacy was not viable either - at the end of the first trimester the ultrasound found only the empty gestational sac, so what you're experiencing now is all too familiar. Processing the immediate and longer term aftermath takes time. And please, please don't put any kind of blame on yourself. You've had so many challenges, Maggie - it's heartbreaking to hear about another one. You'll be on my mind and in my prayers over the coming weeks, along with Zach. 💞

[@marshatomkins7989]

I’m so sorry, Maggie. My heart breaks for you. I don’t know how you can even talk about it to your followers. I hope there is a happy “next time” for you. ❤❤❤

[@heatherhanegan83]

Maggie my heart genuinely goes out to you and Zack. I had an ectopic pregnancy back in 2006 ; you and Zack are in my thoughts and prayers 🙏

[@ЕлизаветаЖелезнова]

Maggie, I’m so sorry. Please don’t feel like a failure and don’t blame yourself. It’s devastating but it’s not your fault in any way.

[@magnoliab928]

I grieve with you, please give yourself the time to process your loss, which it appears you’re doing. I had an ectopic pregnancy 30 yrs ago, after 2 other miscarriages. I was high risk. 40 yrs old. Scar tissue around fallopian tubes from 2 prior abdominal surgeries. Had another surgery to remove the scar tissue. Given progesterone and success. You are starting way earlier than I did, to me, that’s hopeful in itself. But the one thing you said that your doctor said-he has no doubt you will have a child-that let me know it’s going to be success for you, too. The how of it all, you will be guided by your MD obviously. I am incredibly sad for you, with empathy, yet your doctor’s science-based words are what I hope you hold close in your mind and heart. ❤

[@xtinet]

Maggie, it takes so much strength to make this video in the face of such deep sadness. I'm certain the wonderful community you have built will continue to support both you and Zak, whatever the future brings. I hope you feel the love and support of your community, you are incredibly strong and you always provide us with such detailed information and understanding, giving scared and worried people comforting thoughts and so much more. You take the time you need, that's job one. much love. 💜

[@andreamcfeeley9363]

You are entitled to feel everything that you are. Keep praying. Keep trying.🙏🏻♥️

[@sabrinamoore972]

As a “perfectly healthy”. overcomer of 7 years of constant infertility. I had “no reason” to not get pregnant… your feelings are extremely valid. The “jealous” (if you want to call it that) feeling is VERY VALID! Just please know that little baby IS your baby. You are a momma, just sadly a momma to an angel❤ not sure if this will help you or not but I know it has for others in the infertility and loss community around me, give your baby a name, celebrate this baby. They may not have a “birth day” but they will forever be in your heart! You saw that baby, you know they existed, celebrate your “positive” day… whether other people agree or not, this IS your baby they ARE a baby. I don’t know you but I want to hug you and hold you tight.. seriously.. this shit sucks.. you are so loved momma ❤️

[@IonaMay]

So many women go through something like this and it is just now being talked about so thank you for being one of the warriors to open up publicly about all you have been through. I hope you know how many people you have helped and are currently helping ❤ even the people who you willl help in the future

[@callyflower]

Dammit X3! I am so sorry you are losing your pregnancy. It is so sad. That said…you DO/DID HAVE a pregnancy! Your body took a very sad step forward. I hope going forward there is a solution that comes along soon. You have been through enough! I say all this as a 61 year old who went through fertility treatment 27 years ago. On the 3rd IUI (with injectable fertility meds), my daughter stuck! Finally! Good luck with the steps going forward. You are a smart cookie and you will figure it out, no doubt! ❤❤❤

[@Jilly_Neutron]

I am so sorry Maggie. I’ve followed you for a long time and it’s so crazy how similar our life paths have been. I was in nursing school initially the same time you were before leaving the program and becoming a dietitian. My dad went through the same surgery as your dad at about the same time late 2022. It’s been weird and wonderful being able to listen to you discuss things so well that are very immediately relevant to my life. Thank you for always being there. Here we are again, I too have been considering fertility treatments. I chose not to go ahead with them for very different reasons. I had originally been pursuing them to become a single mother by choice. I am asexual and aromantic and know that a life partner/coparent are not in the cards for me anytime soon at the very least. However, when I sat with myself and thought about what raising a child by myself really would be, I decided it wasn’t for me. I love kids, I’m a damn good aunt, and I think I could be a damn good co-parent. However, I don’t think I am financially, mentally, or emotionally capable of being the solo parent a child I would bring into this world would deserve. For me, the crushing blow was that I came to this decision just to find out that the fertility clinic had told me that they thought I would be a great candidate for IUI and had already imagined what my hypothetical children could look like after viewing sperm donor profiles. Obviously this is nothing compared to what you’ve gone through, but believe me I’ve had a lot of the same feelings. I’m a proud queer person, but suddenly found myself hating that part of my identity. I felt broken because my body had the audacity not to like the thing that had allowed our species to exist for so long. I hated it. I don’t know if it helps, but know that you are definitely not alone in your feelings. You let yourself feel them and work through them as long as you need. We and everyone else will still be here when you’re ready.

[@craftycrochet64]

Loss of a child is absolutely heartbreaking. Take the time to feel what you need to feel. Prayers the methotrexate works.

[@christinemoditz596]

Im so very sorry sorry Maggie. I also experienced infertilty, and I know the pain of being pregnant so briefly and then having it taken away when other people have children so easily. Its heartbreaking. Take good care of yourself and just know you will find the path to your child.

[@deborahwallis8651]

Maggie, you are the sweetest, kindest, most helpful person, and no this isn't fair. If anyone deserves to be a mother, it's you. Take all the time you need to cry, scream, be mad, and then, one day, you'll come back the warrior you are! And you and Zak will do whatever seems right for you. I know you'll have kids some day. I wish I could give you a hug. You help so many others here. I hope you can now feel the love and support coming back to you.

[@danilepley]

I'm so sorry, Maggie. I saw the title and my heart dropped because I think about you and your journey often. There's not much one can say in regards to words of encouragement except to say you and anything youre feeling right now is understandable and valid. Just try to be easy on yourself because you are not a failure. Sending love and light your way ❤

[@demijour1234]

I am so sorry Maggie, sending Love and Hugs to you. I know what you mean about wanting to experience being pregnant. I always wanted to experience being pregnant and have kids however because of my genetic disorder I cut that dream out. Learning to accept my genetic disorder is still very hard for me. I truly hope your dreams of being pregnant will happen and you get to experience that beautiful joy of being pregnant. I don't know why God brings hardships to some. It gets frustrating and heartbreaking. You are an Amazing person who helps out so many. I am so glad you have such a wonderful and amazing husband. Sending my Love, Prayers and Hugs to you. 🙏🫂❤❤❤ Love you, Maggie 💕💕💕

[@wondertwin13]

Maggie I am so sorry😢💔 Please don’t lose hope🙏🏻 Love you my fellow Crohnie 🫶I understand how you are feeling about fighting hard and our bodies are not acting accordingly or attacking. It sucks feeling like our only option is to stay strong & fight. Gods got this, keep your faith in him!

[@lisawaters4988]

Praying that everything works out for you give yourself time to heal physically and mentally it will happen when you least expect

[@KirstinRN]

I’m so sorry Maggie, that’s such sad news 😞. Praying for you & sending a hug!

[@peachxtaehyung]

Omg! I didnt know about this i am so sorry to you both i cant imagine going through ectopic pregnancy. Trigger warning: i have had a miscarriage and as hard as that was i can imagine ectopic pregnancy would be more traumatizing since its so dangerous and everything. Take all the time yall need to recover from this. Much love to you both. Also we will help any way we can with financial things with it to help yall have your baby you want to have

[@9384cows]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Sounds like you really need a big hug. Wish I could give you one. But...now you know that YOU CAN GET PREGNANT. and you won't loose your fallopian tube which is really good news. Thank goodness you caught it early. Now you have to decide which way you want to go and that is good news, too because you have a choice. Give yourself time to mourn and heal. You need that for you. Again, I am so sorry for your loss but you will succeed and you will have that baby in your arms soon.🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@peachxtaehyung]

@@9384cows i think you meant to comment this in normal comments and not under mine lol but I agree at least she knows she can get pregnant 💖

[@ruthanngreenway4243]

i am so sorry, Maggie. i cried my eyes out hearing this. My heart aches for you. I've had my ilieostomy 50 years. My daughter Mary was born a year before my surgery. My son Brad was born 2 years after my surgery. And when Brad was 16 years old we adopted a 7 month old little girl named Ashley. They are all grown, married and with kids of their own. Our adopted daughter Ashley feels just as much a part of me as my biological children. You can still get pregnant....you have as much of a chance as anyone. Please don't lose hope.

[@juli7263]

Let those tears flow Maggie. I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss! I’m so very sorry.

[@DeeNailsX]

I'm so sorry Maggie. It will happen, and it will happen hopefully VERY soon. I lost a baby in May and ended up with a horrible uterine infection that had me bedridden for a month, and at the end of June, I got pregnant again, without knowing it could happen after such an infection. Please never feel like a failure because you are amazing, and your body can do amazing things even if it's rusty here and there.

[@BlueCollarRedneckLife]

Maggie, You are far from alone and the feelings are so overwhelming and difficult to process but just know that you have such much love and support behind you! ❤ I had an unplanned pregnancy and then several miscarriages after and those feelings are so difficult to understand. It's OK to cry, it's OK to talk and to not want to talk about it, it's OK to feel how you feel but don't lose hope! You are such a strong woman from every battle you have pushed through. Sending you as much love and hugs!!!!

[@angelairvine3091]

I'm crying with you watching this , my heart goes out to you both sending love at this sad time , take time to heal yourself ❤🤍❤️

[@Laurenmazlyn]

I’m so sorry that you’re going through this right now. Know that you are not alone in this experience. ❤

[@jillglass4914]

I am so sorry you are going through this;// so sad to be where you are. I hope you keep trying... I see you as a great Mama with a little babe in your arms. It can happen for you. Breathe and see it, visualize it, dare to keep hoping when you are able. Sending prayers🪷

[@hannahyoung3533]

I'm so sorry you are going through this and believe me, I know how hard the infertility journey can be! Due to medical issues on both our parts, my husband and I spent 11 years dealing with infertility, we did 13 different medical interventions, ranging from simple to complex, throughout the years. Finally, I did get pregnant with twins but I miscarried one baby at 11 weeks which was heartbreaking but went on to have my sweet boy, who is now 14 years old. It is a hard, lonely, discouraging, expensive, and frustrating process...so I'm sending big hugs to both you and Zach!!!

[@ittybittykittypi6565]

Please know that you didn't do anything wrong here. You're taking all the right steps, and I'm so glad to hear you say that you trust your medical team and they're taking good care of you. Your pain and sadness is valid, and we're here for you ❤

[@jadequincey3456]

My heart goes out to you, Maggie. I am so sorry for your loss. I have MG, (Myasthenia Gravis) and endometriosis, and was not able to get pregnant. My MG continues to knock me about and ruin plans, so I have an understanding of sorts. I never tried to get pregnant; but I have been stymied by my MG for years. I watch you even though I don't have Chron's, because you help me cope with my MG. Again I am so sorry for your loss. ❤

[@Theavidgardener313]

Oh, honey. I'm so sorry. Any feeling you have is totally justified. Sending you a big virtual hug. ❤

[@cookiesroblox6759]

I had IVF love & I was lucky for it to work first time.. please try the IVF at least once.. I know its going to be hard & expensive but if you can.. give it a go.. don't worry about the injections.. my husband gave me mine it was so much easier.. i was trying naturally for a baby for over 16 years & IVF gave me my daughter who is now 14 Yr old.. your strong & beautiful inside & out your dream will come true oneday x

[@lauriearnold78]

You’re very strong, keep the faith! I had severe endometriosis and my chances were low that I would get pregnant. I have 2 beautiful sons! It’s possible, just believe.

[@car17yn71]

So sorry for your loss. You (always) are in my thoughts and prayers. Take all the time you need. We love you!

[@staceytarte9797]

You can do this sweet girl. Don't give up. You will be there soon. As a Crohn's disease patient with an ostomy myself, I understand the pain of this life, the loss of this life. It took 16 years of trying to have my daughter. We didn't have the financial or maybe even mental fortitude for the IVF route. You will get there. Be brave, and strong. Good luck

[@doriswiltsie2336]

So sorry ❤Maggie ❤stay strong you and your husband are very special. ❤❤

[@georginabowers]

It's very hard to go through an ectopic pregnancy or miscarriage but you are so brave to talk about it...please don't lose hope. I had fertility medication and years of tests and had three ectopic pregnancies and 6 miscarriages but also managed to have a daughter. It probably doesn't feel like it now, but you will get through this and you will be a mum when it's the right time for you. Sending hugs from the UK xx

[@janicerochefort2537]

In French Canada we would say "Courage" meaning remember that you are surrounded by love and community that you can draw upon at times like these. Huge squeeze to both you and Zach.

[@peggyschram917]

Oh honey, I’m so sorry that your and Zac have to go through this loss. Please take all the time you need to physically and mentally get through your loss.❤️

[@pamfreeman1973]

Maggie I am so sorry for your loss. My daughter in laws first pregnancy was also an ectopic pregnancy. She would’ve bleed to death if my son hadn’t found her when he did. Again my condolences 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@butterflygirl3359]

I am so sorry Maggie. I have ulcerative colitis and had infertility for 4 years before having IVF to have my son. This is a journey, you will get there. Sending much love and prayers to you. 💕💕

[@valerierose3287]

So sorry Maggie, life can be hard. I have teared up with you. Your hormones are all over the place and that makes you feel even more sad. I would try the IUI again, stay strong, you can do this!! I have an Ostomy and Type 1 diabetic, have 3 children, told I probably wouldnt have any.

[@emziepoodlez]

Oh Maggie I wish I could give you a hug! I know that feeling of frustration when you’re chronically ill and nothing is ever simple 😢 If you need to take time away from social media to process and grieve, we’ll be here when you get back.

[@sandjblake75]

Absolutely devastated for you. Sending ❤

[@aliciamauer1079]

Ectopic pregnancies are just heartbreaking. It’s okay to be heartbroken. Take your time. When you and your husband are ready, you can try again. One day at a time. I am so sorry for your loss.

[@jackiec495]

Sweetheart, know you are a Mom. You did get pregnant. Your baby will be waiting for you in heaven one day.

[@ittybittykittypi6565]

You're right, IVF is a lot, and it's very expensive. But doing multiple IUIs is also a lot, and that stress and cost also adds up. Of course, take care of yourself first, and let yourself recover. Whichever decision you make will be the right one for you ❤

[@phreetobe6200]

I know with social media, we are faceless people behind a screen. But following you and your story, it’s like we’re sitting in a room together while you share this profound grief. I can feel your loss and am so, so sorry. Take the time you need to process and decide the best step moving forward.

[@kierstenfortuna2432]

I had a chemical pregnancy the first month of trying. It was completely devastating. I was frustrated because I had just told our whole family the day before bleeding started. I am grateful for the support system I had during that time. I cannot imagine what you are going through. Know that you are not alone in your thoughts and feelings. What helped me is there are a lot of support blogs in mom apps that really were nice to talk to people going through similar situations. The worst is knowing there’s nothing you can do about the situation in the moment. I hope you find the peace you need and get the strength to keep trying. You both deserve this!

[@lisadonovan9534]

I too had an etopic pregnancy … I was close to 40 then and my doc convinced me to stop trying.. I know how devastating it is and wish you all the best for future pregnancy…

[@jimtiedje3868]

My first pregnancy was ectopic.I bled profusely before I was diagnosed. Back then I had abdominal surgery and my Fallopian tube was removed. I successfully birthed two babies after that with only a chance every other month. Hang in there! I understand your angst and sadness. Grieve this loss and have hope for the future. You are in my thoughts and prayers.