My Ex Husband Divorced Me But Wants Me Back After 4 Years r/Relationships

[@justkali97]

Story 1: daughter was like "let me tell you my side since mom neglected to add information" Also daughter *tells us literally the exact same story as her mom*

[@heatheraucoin5832]

I’m still waiting for additional information that mom forgot to mention. To be truly sorry, you must accept the crowd BOOing you. I bet the reason they didn’t bring up the AP in the divorce proceedings was because he would have to provide proof and statements. Since he was an addict, he probably had a record and warrants, thus getting MIL in trouble and losing her son.

[@tashasimmons747]

Perfectly stated! Agree 100 percent.

[@KashyaCharsi]

A worse story, if anything. "But you don't understand, my grandma bribed me with expensive gifts, and I only had a change of heart when they started mistreating ME!"

[@JewelWildmoon]

But with passive aggressiveness 😆

[@purplebanana6420]

She really meant let me tell you my perspective and how I felt

[@salomerodriguez5145]

"There were a lot of things she neglected to say" and proceeds to not add anything of value to the story. Damn girl...

[@user-tu2dr3ny6x]

"Mom neglected to say that I'm actually a total asshole myself, so let me make it clear that I am a total asshole to you all" is the gist of her post lol. Specifically, the part where she mentioned her mom sending her "long ass paragraphs". Considering the full context of why she was sending those "long ass paragraphs", it's completely insane that she would even think like that.

[@LaunchPadMcQuack4Hire]

That was my exact thought as well! What the hell did the mom leave out? 😂

[@miminana-hd6nf]

@@LaunchPadMcQuack4Hire mom left out nothing. daughter, who it appears is commenting in this thread, just repeated everything that OP said, incriminating her own abhorrent behavior in it, and them claiming to be the victim. It left my head spinning. Daughter is grandma's clone.

[@terintiaflavius3349]

She is her grandma 's grandchild

[@JewelWildmoon]

​@@user-tu2dr3ny6xEXACTLY. Hearing that part honestly just felt like "I was annoyed with my mom still, but stop saying mean things about me omg" 😂

[@tracicolvis7382]

Daughter puts it off as it's dad and grandma's fault she thought her mom was controlling and horrible. I'd buy that if she was little when they divorced but she was 17. She'd lived 16+ years with her mother already and knew it wasn't true. She just liked that grandma spoiled her.

[@dragb9284]

Ow you should read some of the daughters comments on her post it’s all about her in them. Her mom or anyone else is an after thought to a scary degree. Like she seems to have trouble empathizing with other humans.

[@jimbobjones9330]

I can even buy being angry at 17, but by 21... that's so much bullshit. And claiming she was abused?!?! Does this chick know what abuse actually is?!? She was lied to, yes. I can't even say she was gaslit (because she was told something about her mom and pretty much instantly believed it... she didn't need to be convinced she was crazy, because she never for a second believed that she was in the wrong). But she was not abused. She was the abusER, not the abusEE. She just said "Grandma gives me stuff. Mom doesn't. Thus, I like grandma!" And then the nonsense of "My dad pretty much forced me to take him there! He was upset and crying!" Again, no consideration for the mom AT ALL. If I were the mom, as much as I love my kids, I'd go no-contact if they treated me this way for 4 years over a fucking lie. And the husband needs to go fuck his mother, because that's the only partner he ever deserves -- may as well make it official. He believed the mother and the junkie ex-friend over his wife. Just astounding. I hope OP drops all of these assholes, including the daughter.

[@partysuvius]

@@dragb9284 sounds like she takes after Grandma. That selfishness is a core, hereditary trait.

[@wplains]

She takes after grandmama!

[@elzbietabetlej4085]

she posted her point of view post that was clearly making her a main victim of this whole drama and all others should pity her and not blame her. boo freaking hoo. The girl has much growing to do. and if her mother ever decides to forgive her, she shall thank God for that. and she takes after dad too who seems to be spineless narcissist. and his girlfriend?? to break up over a phone just like that? wow... he not only hurt his ex but the other woman too

[@kyriacarica5862]

She's more focused on making herself looking like the victim than being there for her mom. Daughter sounds like she'll be several pages from her grandmother's book when she gets older. She should get into therapy to fix that.

[@dragb9284]

Other comments to her post further hammer this in and reveal some other stuff. It seems like op daughter has trouble empathizing with other humans and solely wants to focus to be on her and her victimhood without taking any responsibility.

[@hwiley8141]

Yeah, she stated that her mom left out some things, but all she added was things from her point of view. Like, oh gosh, my mother made it look like I was a baddie, but I really am not. I read alot of these posts that say " yeah, my mom cheated but i still love her", or " i resent what she did". But this girl emphasised that she hated her mother. She STILL has not acknoledged she deeply hurt her mother. It would be bad enough that she inadvertantly hurt her mother, like being clueless. Yes, the daughter was lied to, but she choose to hate her mother.

[@jeanetteporter8114]

Oh yes monster in the making

[@MissAyame89]

Therapy isn’t a guarantee of changed behavior or thoughts

[@frgmented-dreams6140]

Ever since her ex came outta his mom's cunt, he's been trying to get back in ever since! He should have been told exactly that!

[@ZombieSazza]

The daughters post is honestly solid evidence to just go straight up no contact. Sometimes we have to cut all contact with family members, it hurts, but they only cause harm and heartache to your life.

[@jeanetteporter8114]

Yes yes. But these but that is family bs, while the hurt person go through mental hell

[@miminana-hd6nf]

the daughter is a chip off her grandmother's block. The daughter did not give any new info, she actually confirmed all of what her mother said. The daughter is just pissed because she comes off as the selfish, narcissistic brat she is. I agree that OP needs to go no contact with the daughter, no good is going to come out of any contact.

[@AliceinOverwatch]

I felt bad for the daughter until she posted 😂 nothing but excuses and no accountability, she's 21 years old for crying out loud 💀

[@JupitersTears]

She couldn't said she was young dumb and made a mistake apologize to her mom and slowly mend the relationship Edit to fix its could've not couldn't sorry

[@TiffWaffles]

I feel sad for the daughter. It's obvious that she was manipulated for years by both her dad and grandma. When you have a parent and grandparent in your ear telling you that your other parent is a terrible human being for many years, you're not going to be thinking rationally about things. She doesn't need to take accountability for what she did and how she reacted... She was sixteen years old when this happened and has a lifetime of being turned against her own mother (I suspect). The person who needs to take accountability is the grandmother (former MIL) and OP's ex husband. I feel so sad for the daughter. She's also a victim, but she needs to get help so that she can be a better person in the future. Not just for herself, but for her mum as well.

[@bakedandbeaded]

@@TiffWaffles No. She lived with her mom for 16 years. She lived WITH her. Happily. She saw how her mom was. How could her grandmother convince her that her lol was terrible? She just wanted the things grandma spoiled her with.

[@JustMeInPittsburgh]

Daughter starts out by saying that mom left a lot of things out. Mom left nothing out. Daughter is a piece of work, just like grandma

[@nwilady1867]

I thought the same thing. I was waiting for the daughter to come in with some damaging piece of information. All she brought was self-pity

[@league-of-shadows]

She basically describes her grandmother turning into a totally different person for FIVE MONTHS because her father started dating but she never once thought “Hmm maybe shit ain’t right”. She’s too busy thinking all about herself.

[@donthaveaclevername9330]

I audibly snorted when the daughter yelled at reddit saying theyre so quick to judge and assume without having the full picture. I have absolutely no sympathy for her, especially how she referred to Op expressing herself as just a "long ass paragraph", the mirror is pointed to her face and she's cowering, trying to draw on it, and trying to shatter it. But the mirror still shows her reflection

[@KashyaCharsi]

I especially love the way the daughter's own point of view and trying to explain how she is supposed to be a victim only manages to make her look even worse.

[@n4ttyyy]

Ah yes, someone who is abused for years by their own grandmother, has to be a therapist for their depressed and betrayed father, and is abandoned by their mother is not a victim because.... they believed an allegation with proof. I assume you'd also think someones dumb just for thinking their spouse cheated over say, a used condom laying around? Pics from another man/woman? How much proof until you're justified to leave? And how is a grown adult who didnt even try to reach out to her child for years more of a victim than a child who was, once again, ABUSED? I get the mom went through something horrible, but she has no empathy for her own child who was also lied to and abused for several years in her own home. My dad was cheated on by my mom but he never fought for me or tried to get me to have contact with him. Guess who I dont have contact with now? And guess who I live with and love more than anyone else?

[@KashyaCharsi]

@@n4ttyyy She was "spoiled" by her grandmother, not "abused", they had "hearsay" from someone they know was a liar, not "proof", that someone they also know has done something very out of character, and they don't even ask why. She was sixteen, old enough to know her mother's personality, doubt what she is told and have her decision to hate her and want nothing to do with her respected.

[@pippo17173]

Op should take that and just leave her and the ex. She is not a daughter anymore if it were me.

[@KashyaCharsi]

@@pippo17173 I couldn't handle children because I hold everyone to an equal's standards. I wouldn't beg for contact with a partner whose mind is already made up that I am his enemy and won't hear otherwise, my child could also stew in her hatred far away from me. Though the daughter IS old enough to know better. People think just because someone is below 25, that makes them a toddler not responsible for anything.

[@jimbobjones9330]

@@KashyaCharsi I don't even fault the daughter at 17 for her _initial_ reaction. But over the course of 4 years, she had plenty of time to think on it and at least hear her mom's side of the story.

[@greendiamondglow]

Was MIL ACTUALLY a master manipulator? Or was OP's husband just stupid? It seems to me that MIL's lie probably would've been easily unraveled if husband asked, like 3 questions. I blame him more than his mom, tbh. MIL is a monster, absolutely, but hubby KNEW she was a monster. He should've known better than to just take her word for it. Of all the victims of MIL, he's the one I feel least sorry for

[@KashyaCharsi]

Or the husband was just waiting for a excuse to kick OP to the curb without looking like the bad guy and run back to his mother.

[@lauralfreeberg2179]

And the supposed AP was a druggie known to always need money for a fix. The husband knew that too. If he had thought about it for a second, he would have realized that mommy dearest set her up.

[@jeanetteporter8114]

YES HOW STUPID AND MANCHILD THIS MAN IS, AND THE LITTLE MONSTER JUST JUMP ON THE BANDWAGON, SHE DID TRY TO ASK HER MOTHER WHAT WAS GOING, ALL SHE THOUGHT ABOUT GRANDMONSTER BUYING ME EVERYTHING I WANT

[@rubymeaddle]

Narcissistic abuse and manipulation is serious

[@megangill2496]

@@KashyaCharsi100% this and then he had buyers remorse when he found out his mom will just do that to every relationship he will ever have.

[@katrinasamuels-garrison825]

Story 1: when op said her supposed affair partner was an obvious drug addict, I lost all sympathy for op's ex and daughter. I can't see anyone having an affair with a drug addict unless they are themselves.

[@pippo17173]

and someone both she and the husband knew for years. How the hell did the husband just believe this? What a moron.

[@jeanetteporter8114]

Exactly who in their right mind would have an affair with this guy who has ask for money from him for drugs, he can't keep an election strung out on drugs and sex is the last think he thinking about

[@Sly_Successor34]

I agree. The father & daughter were just like: "Yup this cr*ckhead/junkie is a believable character. Nope, don't doubt the veracity of his 'confession' at all. My wife/mom must just enjoy slumming in her 2nd secret life. She must covertly love the drug addled looking type. Hmm... Though we can't see where she would of found the time to have an affair, but bizzarly jealous & smothering old grandma wouldn't make such a scandalous thing up- nor would a desperate drug addict. 🤔 SURELY not to ruin our marriage/family... Hmmm...". Communication+critical thinking are valuable tools.

[@jamesrkrau2481]

I had a girlfriend cheat on me with a drug addict and that their connection. She lost so much. Her son end up under Foster Care. AP handcuffed a 4 year old to a chair. She repeatedly left me messages.

[@megadude967]

Story 1 : Unfortunately for OP I doubt this is gonna work out. Based on the daughter's own post she lacks the self reflection to properly grow in the ways she needs to from this

[@jimbobjones9330]

It basically comes down to "had Gramma not slipped up, would the daughter give a crap about the mother?" And the answer is obviously "no". She doesn't care about her mother. Doesn't care about anyone but herself, and pretending she's a "good" person, even though her and Gramma should form a knitting circle where they discuss ways to be narcissistic shitheads. I _guarantee_ that within six months of this 21-year-old loser getting back into the mom's good graces, mom will find out that she's started talking to Grandma again. And then this "daughter" will say that mom should "get over it because I can see who I want!" and "It was in the past! Get over it!!!"

[@Somebody9666]

Story 1, Waow. The daugther *really* wants to be the victim. When she's not... She even wrote how her dads depression annoyed her.. They *knew* how much mil hated op. So how both of them NEVER even listend to op or tried talking before the truth came out are my number 1 question. Why never listen? That's my problem with them...

[@dragb9284]

Based on other comments daughter made on her post I do think she might be a narc or something along those line

[@heatheraucoin5832]

@@dragb9284 OPs daughter- I hated my mom, I chose to stay with my dad and I didn’t want to see or talk to her again. Also daughter, mom didn’t care, she didn’t even fight hard for me. 🤦🏾‍♀️ What the daughter failed to realize was her mother accepted her daughter’s decision and didn’t want to upset her more. The mother loved her daughter so much that she didn’t want to put her through more difficulties and submitted to the decision. Plus mom couldn’t handle getting kicked over and over again. I believe the daughter was influenced by the grandmother and has already been tainted to no point of return

[@rubymeaddle]

She is a victim though 😮‍💨 but she's not the perfect victim you want her to be

[@tinak2576]

OPs daughter does not seem to realize what a brat she comes off as. She’s shown when pushed, she’s ok with insulting her mother. Even after knowing her mom was innocent. But hey, grandma bought her nice gifts.

[@trashotaku]

Fr, her comment about not appreciating people being mean to her in her boo-hoo POV post really solidified how much she’s only thinking about herself

[@GoldenLeafsMovies]

Story 1: People need to understand that some decision have lasting repercussions, probably forever. The ex and daughter separated themselves from OP and now they think that just apologizing is gonna fix things, they need to live with their actions.

[@pippo17173]

Op really should just cut them off for good really. I'm sorry but this kind of crap is never gonna go away and the two are not even seeing that, especially when op's husband dump his GF for hoping she can get back with her which is already a red flag and glad the GF got dump because she is wasting her time with him.

[@chinavaughan6383]

None of this would have happened if the father hadn’t been so quick to believe his mother. He never even bothered to talk to his wife about what his mother had accused her of. It was just, “mommy said you cheated on me with a drug addict, so I’m divorcing you!”. To me, this shows how much of a mama’s boy OP’s ex-husband is. As for the daughter, if I were OP, I’d be careful around her😒

[@trashotaku]

Honestly, I wouldn’t trust the daughter at all given her “boohoo I’m the real victim here pity me” post

[@chinaking918]

@@trashotakuyeah she literally didn’t even acknowledge what her mother went through. Just a lot of I, me, my. She’s don’t care about the pain her mother went through she’s just trying to make herself look better. All I heard in her post is yeah my dad left my mom and took everything from her without even talking to her but I’m the victim here why do y’all care about her pain and not listen to mine. Smh I definitely would watch her close.

[@trashotaku]

@@chinaking918 it also seemed like she only reached out to her mom once “grandma dearest” stopped spoiling her and most likely would never contact her mother again if her grandmother hadn’t shown her true colors

[@nationalinstituteofcheese3012]

You know they’re making excuses when they say, “You don’t know me/my family/etc”

[@jeanetteporter8114]

Trying to justify their behavior

[@JewelWildmoon]

Anytime they say that, I expect them to help us understand more then. But they almost always end up making themselves look worse.

[@miriamanderson6146]

I’m still NOT shaving sympathy for you daughter. She’s making excuses to justify herself. I still don’t trust her.

[@trashotaku]

At first I was a little sympathetic for the daughter since she was a teenager when the divorce happened and in her early 20s in current post, Teenagers/YAs make stupid decisions especially in highly emotional situations. However, upon seeing the daughter’s post, all that sympathy went down the drain. Her “boo-hoo I’m the victim here, why is everyone being so mean to me” shtick is proof as to why op should also cut contact with her as well.

[@lindahoward7309]

The mother seemed to never get a chance to prove her innocence. I wouldn't want him back because he wouldn't even hear her side. Or believe her.

[@ErisstheGoddessofmanhwas]

The daughter writes a post thinking people are hard on her, and she needs to explain her side .She just did it worse.

[@GDMendezWrites]

Second story: I heard somewhere (and I'm not a psychologist or someone who works with kids so IDK if this is true, take it with a grain of salt) that it's not uncommon for kids who've been rehomed after feeling abandoned by a parent/guardian to have a sort of "honeymoon" period where everything seems nice and happy before they get worried about being abandoned again and start lashing out and pushing back, almost as a test to see if that will actually happen. That seems like what happened with the son. That, or just being a teenager. Hormones and brain structure are changing all the time as a teen. Plus, anger and irritability are two symptoms of depression that get ignored pretty commonly, especially in teens.

[@anisakalloe3247]

True

[@snickers_xd2343]

Daughter just can’t admit she put all of her eggs in the wrong basket. Im the same age as she was when her parents divorced and if I was being honest I’d be furious too if I heard that one of my parents were cheating I don’t blame her for taking her dads side then but she’s trying to spin it like she’s some victim. She fucked up and instead of taking it with grace she’ coming up with excuse after excuse

[@rubymeaddle]

She is a victim, along with OP and the husband. OP is the biggest victim but lets not pretend that the child whose family was destroyed doesn't deserve sympathy

[@chinaking918]

Exactly. Her siding with her dad isn’t the problem since I myself would’ve done the same. It’s the fact that she won’t even acknowledge her mothers pain while going on and on about herself and her dad. I would accept her saying she was manipulated she was young but the father no way. Not to mention how shitty it was of him to just break up with the gf over the phone after she had been victimized herself by his mother. He don’t get to hide behind the victim card. As an adult and husband he should’ve communicated properly with the women he said he wanted forever with. It was way too convenient for him to just believe whatever was fed to him. He didn’t even ask her none of the normal questions like why or how long.

[@kathywilliams1593]

​@@rubymeaddlenot saying the daughter doesn't deserve sympathy for what her grandmother put her.With that being said, the way she talks in her own post makes it sound as if she resents her mom for her grandma's lies,as well as, her fathers sadness, and the disillusion of their family, all of which were not her moms fault.

[@skyelindsey687]

The poly one: men can be affectionate. And real men do get emotional. They know how to show feelings and discuss them. One good rule of thumb: Open relationships and poly relationships only work out if it was that way from the beginning. Don’t force yourself to be in an open/poly relationship if that’s not what you want.

[@lonewanderer8743]

Personally the story sounds like another Reddit fairy tale. The fact that the theme is reinforced through the story makes it difficult to believe it's anything more than a karma grab story.

[@rubymeaddle]

​@@lonewanderer8743 yeah Reddit is reaaaally anti polyam

[@ZomBeeQueeen]

Holy shit the daughter didn’t meet grandma until 16 after they started living with her-that means dad and her were no contact for years and THEY STILL BELIEVED GRANDMA

[@yonalove9073]

A "funny" story in my family is how my mom went to have an abortion but somehow it failed and now I exist. I grew up listening to this "funny " story

[@Ebbagull]

Yeix 😬 How can they not see that that would f you up to hear? I'm so sorry!

[@yonalove9073]

It's fine I moved out at 18 and have a good life.

[@arjayfc4343]

The one supposed to do the procedure probably faked doing it, but its just a maybe

[@yonalove9073]

@@arjayfc4343 no they did a procedure it's just that there were 2 fertilized eggs and only one was removed.

[@OtakuWrath]

@@yonalove9073 Plus side is you're still alive and you straight up ninja dodged an abortion. Freakin egg-no-jutsu like they went for your throat and only found a tiny log with a "not today" note attached.

[@carzxth]

The daughter calling herself an abuse victim is awful. Honey no thats not abuse.

[@luvondarox]

Yo, what? "Just because I sprung your ex on you doesn't mean you have the right to leave! Ohmygawd, you're such a jerk for leaving! It's not OUR fault we _totally believed the psychotic grandmother who was blatantly proven false."_

[@deirdrelewis1454]

The first thing I remember my mother saying was that she was sorry I’d ever been born. I’m 75 now and am a total recluse. I can’t relate to people and only interact with very few people. I was finally able to forgive her about 10 years ago and am content with my life now. Nevertheless, the damage has been done.

[@todddenio3200]

I was constantly reminded that I was an "OOPS". An unplanned accident.. A mistake.

[@SilverMaychan]

My mom told me she never wanted a daughter. I have 3 older brothers and she wanted me to be a boy. Because she had a very bad relationship with her parents. I did everything I could to be a good girl at the cost of myself.

[@muhname6052]

God I hate the husband from S1. I hope he never curses the dating pool with his presence

[@jimbobjones9330]

What do you mean? He had his long-proven manipulative mother who hated his wife and the junkie ex-friend who still owes him money tell him that his loyal wife cheated (without any actual evidence)! Who WOULDN'T believe such strong evidence without actually asking the wife?!?

[@user-tu2dr3ny6x]

​@@jimbobjones9330 I almost posted a comment arguing with you, then my dumbass realized you're being sarcastic haha.

[@jimbobjones9330]

@@user-tu2dr3ny6x Thankfully that came through 🙂 No idea who could agree with that husband. The daughter could _maybe_ be forgiven... but that husband sucks.

[@muhname6052]

​@0 0 same I actually had a couple paragraphs then I realized I was arguing with myself.

[@rinpaisys]

Lmao @ markee reading the line about SIL being SON in law NOT sister in law then proceeding to to read SIL as sister in law for the rest of the post.

[@literallycringeidk360]

My dumbass didn’t even notice until you pointed that out

[@marshmellowtimez8360]

OP's daughter: She didn't even try to fight for me Me: Girl, I wouldn't fight for you either

[@JewelWildmoon]

Story 1: I was really trying to give the daughter the benefit of the doubt as someone whose father turned me against my mother (albeit I realized it on my own between age 17-18 and fully acknowledge where *_I_* was an idiot), but her response honestly makes her sound worse than how bad she thought her mom's posts made her sound. Even the way she's wording some things makes it sound like she was just annoyed by her mom and like her only focus is making people stop saying negative things about her.

[@trashotaku]

Exactly. Maybe people wouldn’t have so mean to her in the original post if she y’know, DIDN’T BETRAY HER MOTHER’S TRUST TWICE AND ONLY RAN BACK TO HER WHEN GRANDMA STOPPED SUPPLYING THE GIFTS

[@Ax-xo4ux]

The doggo story- I’m a dog trainer and they did a great job desensitizing the pupper to baby. And depending on level of training- you might want to start with a false baby (baby doll with sound maker). But since their doggo sounds very well behaved this method was perfect

[@katie6731]

Nobody in the story seems to understand that the ex-husband and daughter betrayed OP by choosing to believe someone that DOG just happened to procure with a story about OP cheating. They didn't even consider that it could be DOG behind everything, or talk to OP, before they decided to completely abandon OP. Ex was happy enough to turn his daughter against OP. I'm glad someone brought up the fact that ex and daughter *still* weren't actually listening to OP, but taking everything DOG said as gospel. Of course OP isn't just accepting an apology and pretending that what ex and daughter did was hunky dory. They had *four years* to think about the story the old "friend" gave and realize that it didn't seem like OP. The daughter's update doesn't make much sense to me. DOG threatened to *harm* the daughter, and ex/Dad kept letting DOG into the house for the next five months anyway. It sounds like ex/Dad doesn't care about anyone other than himself and DOG; he even broke up with his girlfriend *of a year* over the phone! He's raised his daughter to be just as selfish. DOG wouldn't have been able to hide her controlling ways for almost four years. Daughter ignored the confirmation of her mother's assessment, and decided that presents were enough of an exchange for her mother.

[@jeanetteporter8114]

Thank goodness some other people actually see the truth in the story about the daughter and husband

[@sk8ergrrl1]

Story One: I wouldn’t even want to rebuild a relationship with my daughter if she did that to me. 16-17 is old enough to know better than to just listen to one parent. If my husband and daughter did that to me, then they’d both be dead to me.

[@gcarr1089]

Story 1 - glad OP is a stronger person. Marriage is a no go with ex she can't trust him as he never supported her.

[@heckyesjess3394]

"real men don't get emotional!" he said, full of emotion.

[@nightdweller6446]

S1. Nta in any universe. And any contact should be 100% on OPs terms. They are the AHs who can wait for OPs forgiveness if at all. Set massive boundaries

[@whattheelle360]

S1 dump the lot. Juice isn’t worth the squeeze.

[@ruansteenkamp4289]

Story 1: I can’t blame the ex in the regard for getting rid of a “ cheating “ wife, because how many times is it that an unfaithful partner is honest, but where I can blame the ex is that his mother has a track record of actions that he needed to look at before listening to her, yet he didn’t, he just blindly believed her

[@Bleg94]

also that the "source" was a drug addict they both cut off from their life

[@justkali97]

Facts! OP even said they went no contact after the wedding. So after years of not speaking to her, she suddenly shows up out of the blue one day with information about an affair, and husband is just like "yeah this checks out"

[@rubymeaddle]

​@@justkali97 he had a witness admitting to an affair If the husband hadn't believed the AP and it turned out OP was cheating, y'all would call him a moron for ignoring what was right in his face.

[@rubymeaddle]

He didn't blindly believe her, someone came forward and said he was the affair partner!

[@thesquigz616]

​@rubymeaddle7532 yeah, a person WHO THEY KNEW WAS A DRUG ADDICT AND WOULD LIE FOR ANY CHANCE AT DRUG MONEY. Not only that, but isn't it just the slightest bit suspicious that the confession was simply out of the blue? No rhyme, reason, or way for it? He just felt the urge to express that he had an affair? If you honestly STILL think that, in anyway, pardons the ex-husband from even an OUNCE of blame-- then you need to take yourself and go play in traffic until Darwinism does what it does best.

[@sarahkelly4026]

For the accidental father story: The child needs a guardian ad litem to conduct an independent investigation and recommendation and not leave it up to the (very kind) friend who just happened to be there.

[@termythewormy]

My dad first told me that he'd never wanted kids when I was very young. I dont remember the first time, it was just common knowledge when I was a kid, like knowing I have brown hair. Something about this reddit story really put into perspective for me how much that fed into my constant desire to be a perfect kid for him to make it "worth it".

[@buttleflynyx]

How could i know the truth? Maybe asking ... She acts like she never knew her mother before this 🙄🙄🙄 The "you don't know my family" to the redditors... but she doesn't know them at all either

[@anitakyota9922]

I adopted my niece but when she was a teenager I allowed my sister, her bio mom to live with us for 2 1/2 years. During that time she told my daughter that she tried to get rid of her. I didn’t know at the time or I would have kicked my sister out sooner. My daughter is now 33 and for years has caused herself harm because of the emotional abuse from my sis. She is finally seeking counseling to address this! I am so angry with my sister for this!

[@smellyolegoat150]

In the story where the pregnant wife is trying to make OP get rid of the son’s dog. Obviously OP should not cave to that ridiculous and heartless demand. Also, OP needs to keep a very very close eye on how the wife treats his son, especially after the baby is born. I think she’s going to become an evil stepmother. I think that she’s demonstrating extreme favoritism for her blood child over her stepson. I would let my son know to talk to me in private if he ever has an issue with how the stepmother is treating him. He needs to know he will be safe and heard. Finally, if that dog should suddenly and inexplicably die. I would have a vet do a full autopsy. I don’t trust that woman.

[@shewolfroux6091]

The story about OP skipping her step daughters wedding OP gave her every chance after loving and raising her husband's daughter for 15+ years. And she threw her away for someone that chose drugs over her children. OP had a point of no return and the kid crossed it. OP's son had a point of no return and the kid crossed it. That socks for her, but she made her choice. The husband is lashing out at OP because now he's getting the same treatment, because his daughter has a replacement dad ready to go. He's being tossed aside just like OP was and it hurts. He needs to see that OP skipping the wedding us not why his daughter is treating him like crap. That's unfortunately who she is. Love the child and family you still have and let her go. She's decided her life and there's nothing he can do to change that.

[@BettyBonkers]

Story 1: To hell with all of them. A manipulative MIL, a weak minded ex-husband, an ungrateful brat, and BONUS a sheisty "friend"

[@seabreezeblank1513]

I can't believe any daughter would have listened to her grandmother and her father with absolutely no evidence of cheating and went against your mother between work kids and house when does Mom have time to cheat

[@nyxe10]

Story 1: The Ex-MIL stating that she actively sabotaged OP's marriage so that she "could have her son for herself" is just plain disgusting and just screams of emotional incest. Another confirmation of that is her wearing *white* to OP's wedding! She sounds like one those "boy moms". Ewwww...

[@wyvern723]

My mom is that kind of evil and manipulative. She tried to convince me of a lot of things that weren't true. The daughter is young, and I'm not surprised that she didn't contact her mom until she found out the truth. At least she apologized and wants to make up for it. Ex-husband needs to back the heck up though. He hurt OP badly.

[@raicantgame6634]

Man, the woman with the unaffectionate fiance makes me sad. Even my less affectionate boyfriends have shown at least a little affection. And my current boyfriend is always loving all over me. Like I'll be on the couch and he'll flop next to me and go "LOOOVE!" and throw his arms around me and basically tackle me into the couch. If I'm doing stuff in the kitchen he'll follow me around and scratch my back cause he knows I like it. Any time we part ways (even just going to different parts of the house) he insists on a quick kiss. He is SO affectionate it's almost overwhelming at times. But that's not bad. So to hear people insist "men aren't affectionate and you shouldn't expect them to be"... y'all need to find better men. They are out there. And they're so worth it.

[@rebeccahayward9607]

I will never, ever understand people who cheat, or even think of cheating. I just don't get it.

[@lorifiedler13]

Exactly. If you're not happy, divorce.

[@daniellediller5070]

Ok so I understand now what op was, trying to convey I'm glad op is working to try to fix her mistake and I hope the son gets help/ support that he needs 💙

[@muhname6052]

But grandma bought me stuff

[@untitled-gv3qp]

I can understand if it was just for a while after the incident, because it would be understandable to feel betrayed if you thought your mom cheated. But the daughter couldn't speak to her mom for years. And insulted her mom when she wasn't okay with seeing the man who threw her out onto the street when his ex friend that he knew was currently an addict told him something that his known liar mom, who hated his wife, was quick to corroborate. YEARS!! They had years to realize and talk but they both just assumed that they could slide back into the moms life like it was all on the grandma after they had to be told that they were wrong. They still don't understand that it's their mistake and they can't just throw the blame for their actions onto the grandma. She lied, but they did everything else without any concern for the mom's side of the story.

[@muhname6052]

@untitled1621 Right? The husband took the word of a woman who he cut out of his life because of how manipulative she was and the word of a friend he cut out because they where on a downward spiral with drugs, without even talking about it with OP. What? How can you be so stupid? You knew this woman hated your wife. And the ex just swallowed it all wholesale. I hope he never dates again, nobody should have to compete with his mommy. Then, the lack of accountability from the ex? He blames his mom but refuses to see the majority of the blame is his. Then the daughter. Even in her post she blames the OP. Like OP gave up the house. But clearly she didn't show she cared.

[@listenquitely2888]

All I hear Op's daughter say is, we jump to conclusion and she should just forgive us. She is lucky her mom is even talking to her at all. Daughter lashed out saying ppl don't know her family, obviously she doesn't know her own family either.

[@lukefortune1976]

Story 4 - As soon as he said she was going out frequently, she wasn't popular in school and was a nurse so many other Redd it posts that ended up with her cheating came to mind.

[@slothisasin8240]

What does nurses have to do with cheating?

[@totitelevisionshow]

@@slothisasin8240there’s a lot of videos about the mean girl to nurse pipeline. mean girls are usually cheaters because of their highschool peak

[@totitelevisionshow]

either that or, as the comment says.. a lot of reddit stories have mentioned this before

[@lina9535]

I love how the OP wrote that SiL in their story meant son-in-law, and yet the 2nd time afterwards, Markee goes "sister-in-law", I was on the floor in hysteric laughter

[@nukerwolf7788]

1:35:00 markee saying sister in law every time even though the op said in this story SIL meant son in law lol

[@SunnyBurnsAll]

I was truly worked up about it 😂

[@Enriquez2222]

Idk why but the line “borrow their babies” is so funny to me lol

[@Human-kb6xc]

The story with the parents paying for almost the entire wedding and the daughter and future SIL flipping out for having a limit on the bar is concerning and also screams entitlement. There's no reason to get THAT UPSET over having a limit on the bar. OP is paying for it, OP can put a limit on it.

[@tiryaclearsong421]

I think the person who said they heard it with "kid ears" is correct. That plus the wedding stress of wanting to be a good host to their friends (who may have been pressuring them about the open bar since they're all barely drinking age) could absolutely cause this. They then knew they were being bratty and got embarrassed. I'm glad the grandparents stepped in to calm things down.

[@beck3149]

Story 1) I get the daughter believing her dad. But NEVER missing her mom? NOT EVER calling her mom and asking “you cheated on dad? Why?!” It’s just mind blowing how little this kid cared about her mom. Love bombing grandma or no grandma 🙄

[@mandykawaii1646]

“SIL stands for son-in-law. People were confusing it for sister-in-law” Markee proceeds to say SISTER IN LAW anyways 😂

[@C.L.Hinton]

That cracked me up. I know it's possible to just set your mouth on autopilot, so I get it. But I still had to laugh.

[@Raggmopp-xl7yf]

Damn! I think I'd stay NC with both of them. To be judged, found guilty and sentenced without any input from OP is so unfair and nothing in her entire marriage hinted at that kind of behavior - assuming OP is being completely open and honest here.

[@Raggmopp-xl7yf]

Holy shite! The daughter makes it all so much worse! What a rotten, spoiled little princess. We had a neighborhood of really close neighbors. One cheated on his spouse - shocking! But his daughters didn't hold a grudge for 4 years even though they were the same age as OPs daughter. And that was a really long time ago when such things were rare to hear. This daughter is crap and only a GOOD mother would be able to start to mend fences. I've seen other stories where such a wronged parent has cut all ties with their ungrateful, disloyal child(ren).

[@Broeckchen]

Post: "SIL stands for Son In Law NOT Sister In Law!" Markee: "So the next day my Sister in Law-"

[@ajbotte1003]

Practically adult and years as an adult daughter dumped her mother for Dad and his estranged Grandmother🤦‍♀️ Seriously callous...but new Grandma bought me GIFTS!

[@lauracottom7425]

The daughter loved grandma for gifts. Just believed what they told her. Didn’t even talk to mom. Neither of you deserve to be let back in to the moms life.

[@jackiehenry3372]

So, because you heard it from your dad, you believe, but you never questioned your mom never thought their were 2 sides. I know you were 16, but do you ever question things you hear? Your dad after 15 years just automatically believes the worst? You're 21, now see it for what it is. Concentrate on your relationship with your mother. Best of luck in the future. Praying for you all.

[@tovelokiwifeodindottir9936]

Dig story: guess what I have a German King/Roman Rottweiler and he is a BIG BOY not ONCE did he jump on me while I was pregnant. In fact he was MORE careful around me while I was pregnant. Dogs instincts most the time make them more protective and careful around pregnant females.

[@JamesSmith-vv3ys]

I definitely could be wrong but I think the pregnant woman wants to get rid of the stepson.

[@tovelokiwifeodindottir9936]

@@JamesSmith-vv3ys oh I completely agree.

[@lifewithoutstress2684]

She’s old enough to question the situation. Poor mom is a punching bag for the daughter.

[@rmclearran1]

At some point in time parents will have to be honest with their children. It doesn't mean that you love them less. It means your human and can make mistakes although the op worded it the most horrible way possible and that's what makes it very toxic

[@ihatemymeds]

I mean it was misphrased and a bit premature. He is only 15, not an adult. However, lets remember that this was a teen woman that was convinced to have kids against her wishes, then her boyfriend dies less than a year later. Should ask the son if he thinks he would be able to raise a kid in 4 years.

[@fakeidonthaveahandle]

​@@ihatemymedsshe went against her parents' suggestion to put him up for adoption. She mad ethe decision all on her own.

[@jeanetteporter8114]

Yes always be honest with your kids, because once they find out you lied to them, they don't believe anything you say

[@seabreezeblank1513]

You had 17 years being raised by your mom but suddenly you believed all the lies your grandmother told you BS You would have known your mom's true feelings after 17 years You just wanted Grandma cuz she had more money

[@princesssunshine874]

ah, puberty hits like a freight train and it doesn't help when mom's are emotionally stunted like OP.

[@mikemartinez5436]

Hopefully the daughter gets married. Cheated on. Abandoned and left broke. She deserves it

[@nephtys369]

Abuse victims? That stuff that happened AFTER she cut her mom off? Can’t blame that decision on abuse that hasn’t happened yet.

[@terrancemuzic5157]

26:26 remember kids the key to a successful relationship is to lie constantly because actually telling the truth is now abuse but never lie because lieing is toxic and bad but lie because feelings>facts.

[@TallLady123]

Oh this is gunna be juicy. I'm so ready for these next 2 1/2 hours.

[@MrSupernaturalLife]

ditto!

[@ariagnyug]

An apology makes no difference, second ops son will have that in his mind until he dies. Doesnt matter if you apologise, he will hear those words in his mind again and again. Take ot from "the accident"

[@muhname6052]

So wait. Sarah is mad at OP because Mike wants no part of the relationship that Sarah and Kate have that OP helped foster?

[@abx42]

I can understand wanting to spend more time with your own family as they don't have as much time left. I'm told in a healthy relationship this sort of thing would be discussed. As the way I see it there's some pretty major flaws and I would think long and hard whether this marriage is for you.

[@anitakyota9922]

I now remember why I quit listening to Reddit. The people who write in want advice not vitriol!

[@medchan5810]

2nd story. Damn. I was about 11 or 12 when my mom first told me that my dad wanted her to have an abortion. I can't tell you how much that fucked me up as a kid. He loves me and loves having a kid. But damn. That's not the kid of thing you get over. I'm having flashbacks of that entire week. Of my mom telling me that and then going to my dad's house later and asking if it's true.

[@n4ttyyy]

What is it with all the stories lately of someone being falsely accused of cheating with false proof? Its always the same story where the kids also side with the betrayed spouse, usually a parent is accusing them, someone is paid to pretend to be the affair partner, and it comes out when the betrayed spouse gets a new girlfriend/boyfriend and they always say the same thing "i got rid of them for this?!" or something along those lines. Its so weird

[@PuertoRicanCreoleQueen]

I’m the story of OP being legal father to his exes child: OP is a Hero he had every reason to put everything in on his exes friend and gave all up custody and washed his hands of the situation but chose to be an amazing man and make everything work in the favor and best interest of that teenage girl. He is even willing to be In her life as a family friend. Wow 🤩 what a hero indeed! I wish all men where this great because you have so so many men who do far far far less for their own biological children even after being married or In a long term relationship with their mother and was in the home raising his kids and as soon as the mom leaves him he says screw his kids or plays games with his kids emotional well being.

[@kaitohkid7229]

Story 1: I hope OP remarries and treats her stepdaughter so good that her ex daughter dies of envy

[@riuenton]

I knew it! My cats used to talk to me and make me feel better when I feel bad! Vindicated!

[@MeanGinia9607]

I'm glad that the family is working on the pregnant wife's fears about the dog. Rehoming a dog should be a last resort. They form strong bonds and will mourn. I inherited my mom's 2 little dogs. After 8 months, they still cry and look for my mom. The one dog stopped eating and I had to handfeed her. The other dog still hides a lot, and I let her keep some of my mom's clothes and shoes that she drug under the bed.

[@kathleengenieve3804]

The woman who never wanted to have a kid but found herself pregnant as a teenager and then her great aunt was raising her child but then she was forced to take back her child when the great aunt was diagnosed with a life-threatening disease and now she's got an 11-year-old son was right and doing what she did. When the kid gave her a hard time. He started with the attitude throwing his lunch away slamming his books down. Not doing the few things that were required of him to do around the house so she told him or reinforced the fact that yes she didn't want him originally and so he's crying and clinging to her and won't go to school cuz he's upset. Here's the thing she had to make him stop. Misbehaving and it comes down to this. You can feel guilty all your life for something you did than you passed. You can't unscramble an egg, but you can make one hell of an omelette. To make him stop with his outbursts of anger or whatever his little 11-year-old brain was going through she was right and telling him what she did. It comes down to. How do you talk to a mule Well? First you got to hit it between the eyes with a 2x4 to get his attention and that's what she did. The woman reinforce the idea that she never wanted to have them in the first place, but now that she stuck with him, she's going to do the best job. She knows how to do. He was acting out and you cannot reward bad behavior. She's owning up to her responsibility and he's lucky. His little ass is not in foster care. If her teenage boyfriend had kept his dick in his pants and she had kept her legs crossed. None of this would have happened. If my aunt had ball she'd be my uncle. Well she doesn't. You can't go around excusing teenage tantrums. That's unacceptable. What he do when you're in the workplace. You don't get you where you going to throw a tantrum. The boss will fire your ass. Maybe the kids should know if he doesn't mind is peas and q. She's going to fire him as her kid AGAIN. Maybe that's what his little misogynistic head needs tor. Oh sorry me wow! Wah Wah pity party. You have to remember she was a a little older than her son when she got pregnant and probably by his little dick wad of a father who has gone on prematurely to his reward in "Dick Wad Heaven. This woman is being lambasted for the alleged choices she made when she was about her son's age and then she's told you're the adult. You never tell your kid that you don't want them around. So she wasn't given a pass for being a teenage mother who got nailed and she's not going to be a given a pass for an adult who's leading an adult life and now is taking back the responsibility that her great aunt graciously helped her out with. And this on graceful little FK of a son of hers is throwing tantrums!?! Grow up kid. Life is not a fairy tale. Life is not. Leave it to Beaver Father doesn't know. Best and your mother isn't. Donna Reed or Doris Day. You live in the real world. You're not in an orphanage or foster care. Your great aunt took care of you and now your mother is taking care of you. Probably very comfortably from the fact that she works and has worked all these years. She's taking to you baseball games and extracurricular activities. She puts clothes on your back feeds you. Apparently you Have time to play your mindless video games and you got a hard-on for your mother that's amile long. Wait till you get married, Welcome to Hell!

[@martil.9058]

Daughter is just like grandma...

[@Thiago-Carvalho-]

00:00 Main Story 07:00 Update 11:08 Comments 13:04 My mom posted about her divorce with dad because of her mom. I'm their daughter. 21:49 AITA for admitting to my son that I never wanted to have a child? ...

[@kathleengenieve3804]

Regarding the gay guy who discovers he has a kid. Giving Power of Attorney to the woman who's willing to take the kid, that's some BIG Power she has. It was never mentioned what her dubious past was which would prevent her from taking over legal guardianship of this almost grown female. I expect the father writing this post knows what it is. I expect his lawyer knows what it is and I expect the woman who is getting Power of Attorney and her lawyer knows what it is. We'll see if they're all one Big Happy Dysfunctional Family years from now. Good Luck, I got a funny feeling everybody's going to need it.

[@critterkeeper6446]

I got the “ having you was a mistake “ as a child. Haven’t said I love you since.

[@mindylafler3456]

My mother told me that if abortions had been legal, I would have been one. I am 60 with grandchildren. I know she loved me, and was proud of me and my life. But, knowing that her life was so bad when she was pregnant is very sad.

[@jeanetteporter8114]

STORY 1, NO MATTER WHAT THE DAUGHTER SAID, SHE WAS OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER, SHE CHOSE TO BELIEVE HER GRANDMONSTER, SHE DOESNT WANT YOUR FATHER BACK, NOW GROW UP TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR PART, SHE MISTREATED YOUR MOTHER WITHOUT HEARING HER OUT, YOU WERE WORRY MORE ABOUT YOUR DAD MENTAL HEALTH THEN YOUR MOM MENTAL HEALTH, STOP MAKING EXCUSES, YOU DONT GET A PASS BECAUSE YOU STILL HAVENT REALIZE THE DAMAGE YOU CAUSE YOUR MOTHER, LOOSING YOUR CHILD LOVE COULD HAVE DISTROYED YOUR MOM, HER NOT FIGHTING FOR YOU? WHAT THE DUCK, YOU DIDNT WANT TO SEE HER OR TALK TO HER AND YOU WERE CRUEL TO HER, GIRL YOU NEED TO OWN YOUR PART IN THIS MESS AND MAYBE YOUR MOM WILL BE ABLE TO TRUST YOU AGAIN, WE SEE HOW LITTLE YOU THINK YOU DID NOTHING WRONG BY LASHING OUT AT POSTERS, WE DONT KNOW YOUR FAMILY BUT WE KNOW THE ABUSE YOU, YOUR GRANDMONSTER AND DAD DID TO YOUR MOM, YOU NEED TO THINK ABOUT SOME PEOPLE HAVE TAKEN THEIR LIVES FOR LOOSING THEIR CHILDREN OR CHILD, YOUR MOM EAS DOING THE RIGHT THING, YET ALL YOU THOUGHT ABOUT WAS EVERYONE ELSE AND YOURSELF, NO YOU WANT GET ANY OH MY SHE WAS A CHILD BOO BOO WHOO, THE TRUTH HURT FOR AWHILE BUT A LIE CAN DISTROY A LIFETIME, NOW YOU SEE WHAT A LIE CAN DO, GET OVER YOURSELF AND STOP BLAMING YOUR MOM AND REALLY BE SORRY FOR YOUR ACTIONS

[@mztweety1374]

That poor boy. I just want to hug him and spoil him and feed him soul food lol. 😅 Story 1 sounds like a plot line for a law and order episode

[@togatampubolon5948]

How rotten the daughter's behavior is. She still want to wash her hands and blame others. OP is an angle to forgive her.

[@staylor3483]

Dog training: OP should write down & record those training sessions & offer them to the OB/GYN's office & possibly online. They are obviously doing a great job!

[@dollface2907]

for the story at 26:24 i think its EOS mainly because she felt pressured by the husband and its a single mum in a bad situtation yeah they all need therapy

[@Human-kb6xc]

Agreed. She also worded what she was trying to convey poorly but she did apologize. She got married as a teenager, then got pregnant, and then became a widow. That's a lot for ANYONE much less a teenager still trying to find her way in the world. Let's also add in the fact, as you said, that she was pressured into having the baby and then she was being pressured by her family to give the baby to a family member to raise so she can go to school.

[@rasheedabasheer4046]

The daughter was old enough to understand how f-ed up it was and playing the victim by blaming the granny and dad. Like father, like daughter. 🙄

[@bobbirobinson8213]

And the worst daughter award goes to OPs daughter! Seriously, leave your mother alone. You have put her through enough. How much do you think she should put up with from you monsters?

[@Tentacl]

Dog story: New wife is a manipulating AH who is trying to get hid of the OP son making OP seriously hurt the son's feelings, possibly trying to destroy their relationship to have him "whole" for her baby. I have ZERO sympathy for people like that. If my father did something like this I'd never talk to him again.