My Husband Secretly Mailed His Ex The Day Of Our Wedding r/Relationships

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[@NathanielTavington]

My ex wrote about his ex in his journal the day I was in labor with our child. About how he missed her, how he wonders what life would've been like with her. I was in the hospital, in labor for twelve hours that turned into an emergency C-section, and he was moping about how much he missed his ex. DUMP HIS ASS, it's not going to get better, TRUST ME.

[@evelynberrios8164]

What an ass. Sweetie you deserve a man that would kiss your feet for giving him a child. Sorry as you learned you are all alone and have a marriage of one. That’s right, you’ve been the one to carry this marriage. He has been absent while fantasizing about his ex.

[@mdaenen123]

How did you find out that he wrote in his journal? Did he tell you? It so I wonder why he told you. Did you snoop? I hope not

[@Shinukuro]

@@mdaenen123 what does it matter if she had to snoop? If he was acting sketchy as hell, she had every right to. I used to think snooping was wrong and then I found out. Had I actually snooped, I would’ve found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me five years sooner than I did. So that would’ve saved me five years of my life. So snooping may not be ideal, but it is permissible.

[@jadorianempire9754]

@@mdaenen123 “Ignorance is bliss” type beat.💀

[@oceana3070]

@@mdaenen123lol THAT was your take away here? 😅

[@CrystallynRose]

There was an update on the vegan wedding story. She had a talk with the fiancé and it didn't go well so she left him. I'm glad to hear that because that he and his family was absolutely ridiculous.

[@scout_princess]

Wish markkey did the updates on these stories

[@leftcoastbulldogs]

What if logically she is in the wrong. Is he supposed to just back her cause they're married. Cause I've seen some ideas and ways of thinking from chicks that anybody that has any sense and isn't all about her that I couldn't go with and nobody in their right mind with a sense or fairness or logic would. But because they're married just back her play? Nope

[@abbyarnold9357]

​@@leftcoastbulldogs First everyone has moments in time where they don't think logically and make bad calls. That most certainly is a human thing in general. Second compromise is key in any relationship. It can't always be my way or the highway. There was certainly room for compromise here. He wanted to steamroll over her. That doesn't bode well for a healthy marriage no matter who you chose to be with. Thirdly if the situation was flipped and the wife wanted to only serve meals that excluded his side of the family and told him oh there will be little smokies and a cheese plate your family can have that and suck it up would you have the same viewpoint? Would you be saying oh if she let's him get away with that who knows what stupid thing he'd wanna do next? Doubtful. Don't be bitter be better my friend🤙

[@connor4254]

About the vegan wedding food story. is everyone on the brides side vegan. Just asking. If it’s like 8-10 out of 200 then yes it total BS to order food for just them because the just a small number of people.

[@НиколайТрофимов-е9в]

​@@connor4254 It's not a "vegan" wedding. The bride and her family want the menu to include both vegan and non-vegan options. They are also paying for the wedding. Wanting to be able to dine with everyone at an event that you're paying for isn't unreasonable.

[@angeleyesgreen1586]

'He doesn't hit me or anything" Umm, he's financially abusing op and emotionally abusing her brother. It's disgusting

[@ACCER]

I've never forgotten a story my father told me when I was a young teen: A guy he worked with was terrified of snakes. Keep in mind, everyone my father worked with was 40+ at this time. One day the office prankster thought it would be funny to wait until the guy was in the bathroom stall and drop a rubber snake in on him....making him run out screaming. So the appointed time came, the guy drops the snake and runs out of the bathroom.......and nothing happened. Not even a yelp. The guy never came out of the stall. Eventually, they went in and found him dead. Cause of death was a massive heart attack. This was back in the days when things like this were called "accidents" and no one was arrested. Hell, it was rare anyone would be sued and people got mad if you sued over an accident. This guys wife sued the prankster and won. I found out about it the day it happened. I knew the man and his family. They were friends with my parents. My father was devastated. The prankster ABSOLUTELY did NOT intend to harm anyone....he thought he was being funny. He was also devastated because that man was his friend as well. As far as I know, he never pulled another prank.

[@gula9993]

Great story, thanks for sharing

[@rclark8688]

Fire Story Wife: I'm afraid of being stabbed to death Husband: Gets annoyed at her and decides to stab her to death as exposure therapy Wife: Screams and runs away as husband tries to stab her Husband: It hurt my feelings when you screamed at me to stop stabbing you. I was only trying to help Wife: AITA?

[@Lily_of_the_Forest]

The stories of being “ghosted” but the other person actually died are so sad.

[@hunnibadger8111]

Legit my biggest fear with my partner. He's the type to disconnect from electronics/the world when he gets overwhelmed (I occasionally do as well). Right now we live 150mi apart & so we had to put a system in place until we live in the same city or together for check-ins just so I know he's OK and vice versa.

[@some_random_user_who_is_random]

"50 percent of marriages end in divorce, and I hope yours is a messy one." I cackled!

[@morganleanderblake678]

Exposure "therapy" as in THERAPIST. I wouldn't walk into an eye care office and start giving an eye exam. Randos don't get to "do therapy" on their partners randomly.

[@Thebigbubba]

The "exposure therapy" story: it works better when the person is willing, he lit the flame near her out of frustration, not because he wanted to help, this is abusive and I can't imagine how worse he'd be if she married him and had kids.

[@christophera4527]

He's the kind of abuser who would only abuse people that are socially awkward or have some trauma therefore they're less likely to call for help and will think it's their fault. He wouldn't even raise his voice to a healthy strong woman/man.

[@TheRockinDonkey]

Seems to me a fear of fire is healthy

[@kevinspacey5325]

Lol. Id get rid of her. Having to spend thousands of extra dollars a year for the electric stove alone would be a deal breaker. I'm not living with someone who is terrified to light a candle 🤣

[@Thebigbubba]

@@kevinspacey5325 good for you, not everyone has the patience to deal with someone who's severely traumatized by something as dangerous as fire, you know...the element that burns people?

[@TheRockinDonkey]

@@kevinspacey5325 Seems to me they'd be better off without you...

[@carlrood4457]

On the ring story, RUN, do not walk to the nearest exit. She told you everything you need to know about her. She cares more about appearances, stories, and "moments" over any actual marriage. This is a future bridezilla. She essentially said no. Take that as the final answer.

[@arleneclark6369]

Exactly she wants a bigger diamond yet she's not even buying OP a ring at all. RUN is right.

[@carlrood4457]

I'm nor vegan. I never will be vegan. However, I'd be perfectly willing to accommodate people who are at an event I'm hosting if I were informed about it within a reasonable time. I did it this past year for our daughter's 18th birthday party. She has a friend who's vegan and we discussed getting something for her. She was fine with plain pasta, but I would have gotten something more tasty or more varieties and offered such. I've done the same with a family friend who are all gluten free. It's called being a good host. Do people not realize that at their wedding, they are still the host? Back when I got married, it was common to offer beef, chicken, and fish options. I don't get why anyone would be upset about more food choices at an event, especially when not paying for them. It literally doesn't affect them at all.

[@draconicfeline6177]

The story with the inheritance - the dynamics changed for me the moment it was revealed that OP's mom was 18 WHEN SHE MARRIED THE GUY. LITERALLY WAITED UNTIL SHE WAS JUST OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL. Both OP's dad and OP's mom are fucked up and I'm just glad that OP doesn't have any animosity towards older sis right now.

[@draconicfeline6177]

don't get me wrong, OP's mom is still absolute trash, but its still fucked up.

[@charliedelfino2102]

Story 2: the gf does sound entitled in this case but not because she prefers a bigger or more expensive ring, it's because she expects OP to meet her demands with no compromise. I want a flashy ring when I get engaged but I fully intend on putting money towards it (or matching it with my engagement gift to my partner) and if we can't afford it we wait and we save together.

[@lynsthoughts3576]

Dating for 7 years.. and emails his ex before his wedding.. ??? Wow.. how to dog his wife to his ex..

[@ladyv5655]

The good news is that the ex gf didn't reply. She probably understood what a creepy loser he is.

[@Aquelina]

Honestly, I don't recommend anyone who was cheated on to talk to their exes. They won't get any closure and worst, they could be gaslighted to the moon and back, they could turn in nasty little cr4ps, etc... I just recommend ghosting them and telling all your families and friends about it, so they have your back. People who cheat don't deserve any better and at least you can walk with your head high.

[@pippo17173]

Ya most of the time its not worth trying because why would they admit what they did is wrong?

[@Monada79]

I had an ex would message me even years after being split. I got annoyed and asked him if his wife was OK about him messaging me.. haven't heard from him since.

[@pippo17173]

@@Monada79 should of just told his wife man. Sounds like the guy is already a disloyal douche.

[@YouTubeSupportSucks]

Reminder for posterity: Gaslighting doesn't mean lying, it means specific lying with the phrasing and intention of making the target doubt their reality. Just saying something isn't true isn't gaslighting.

[@SkyEcho751]

I slightly disagree, as it doesn't necessarily have to be "Lying" to be Gaslighting. Sometimes Gaslighting comes in the form of Deflection(You don't trust me, Do you think I don't Love You, etc) to make the person go on the defensive. Though technically speaking, according to the NDVH something as simple as "You're remembering things wrong" or "I can't recall that ever happening" counts as a form of Gaslighting, so maybe my information is wrong.

[@KyrieChii]

@@SkyEcho751 True, like the last OP bringing serious marital issues up with her husband, just to have him accuse her of 'cheating on him' (when the issues she was bringing had _nothing_ to do with cheating, so it's not like he could point to it & say "You must be projecting, _you're_ probably the one cheating'). Definitely still falls under 'gas lighting'.

[@kellybraun7048]

A positive, healthy relationship involves enabling the other person to be the best version of themselves. An abusive relationship disables, it discourages and destroys the victim’s ability to think and act for themselves, and limits their potential in order to control. Unlike more obvious types of abuse, such as physically keeping someone from leaving the house, gaslighting gets the victim to believe that staying in the house is the right thing to do. An abuser saying “you made me hit you” can end up being a type of gaslighting when the victim believes it is their fault. Gaslighting causes the victim to doubt themselves and how they understand the world around them (reality, a relationship, etc). It shifts any guilt or blame from the guilty party to the victim. I felt the 1944 movie Gaslight (which helped popularize the term) helped me understand gaslighting, which can be a challenge.

[@kellybraun7048]

Google/Merriam-Webster says it’s a “psychological manipulation, usually over an extended time” (so not saying something once, but regularly) “that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self esteem, uncertainty of one’s emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator”. Ex: Victim is at a healthy weight for their height, body type, etc., their weight is steady and regularly monitored, and takes regular walks and does yoga to stay in shape. The abuser might have a series of comments over weeks like this: “Have you gained weight?” “I really like you in that shirt, but it looks like it’s getting tight-isn’t it uncomfortable?” “Are you sure you want dessert?” “Maybe if you paid more attention when you looked in the mirror, you’d see why I’m concerned about your health.” “You only went a half mile today? I thought you said that you have to walk a mile to stay in shape.” Some of these comments might sound like something that might be said in a healthy relationship (I did try to make a couple more obvious), but when put together like this, and in the context of the implications not aligning with reality or the victim’s perception, it creates the pattern that becomes gaslighting. I apologize for the essay. I agreed that we need to be aware of what gaslighting is and discuss it, then ended up using the comments to organize my thoughts and what I looked up. 😆

[@Gaawachan]

The last story is a textbook example of gaslighting.

[@rinpaisys]

The whole calling trauma and phobia reactions “antics” and deciding to shove a lighter in someones face after hearing the term exposure therapy and deciding you know what it means and how to do it reallllllyyyy set me off. What a piece of sh*t.

[@kevinspacey5325]

Id take her out to a candle lit dinner. Lol 😆

[@ZombieSazza]

Same. If someone forced me to smell Buckfast I would kill, it sets off my PTSD like nothing else, an alcohol my brother drank every day, he beat me violently which often led to hospitalisation with bruising and strangle marks around my face, head, neck, and permanent nerve damage to my stomach from beatings! If someone called my medically diagnosed PTSD “antics” I’d leave instantly, it shows they don’t care about you, your trauma or very real medical condition, and this man was intent on hurting OP as much as he could. He’s VILE, I hope he has a miserable life and OP is able to heal, I’ve no doubt he’s put her progress back several stages with his BS.

[@Tree-House69]

My exact thoughts, him treating them as "antics" and going into that nonsense without ANY idea of how exposure therapy works is genuinely abusive levels imo

[@shadowkissed2370]

Story 2: she is not worth your time. She is a gold-digger and anyone who actually loves you would not care about the ring at all. Hell, my engagement ring was a $20 ring and I had no issue with it. Why? Because I love my husband and the price of the ring doesn't matter. We eventually got me a gold ring with sapphires and diamonds a couple years after we got married but even that ring doesn't matter as much as my being married to the man I love does.

[@kellybraun7048]

Similar story here, sounds like you have a wonderful marriage and great taste in rings. My (now) husband and I agreed: low budget, no diamonds. His favorite stone is tanzanite (which also became mine after he showed me, lol). I wanted a small ring, something that wouldn’t get caught on things, not flashy… he wanted something as flashy as possible for me to show off. Solution/compromise: 4 carat lab tanzanite surrounded by CZs that I would only wear for formal occasions after our wedding, that I could take off and wear on a necklace when it was in the way during our engagement. The stone kept twisting around to the palm side because it was so heavy, lol. For our first anniversary, I got a 1 carat natural tanzanite with two diamond chips (more expensive but low cost for what it is, and much more to my taste)- I wear that with my wedding band for formal occasions now. The engagement ring remains in a special place for us to enjoy and remember.

[@cyndyghost784]

Is 28 years..... And I never got a ring.... And yes he can afford it.... And that would be happy with anything

[@fabulousporcupine3828]

I think the worst part for me was that she wanted a more expensive ring but wasn’t willing to get op a ring at all.. and I may be wrong but it didn’t seem like she was willing to chip in to get the more expensive ring.. 😬

[@merpasakiejingu]

@Kelly Braun my engagement ring is also a tanzanite in a triangle shape. Almost 3 carats. It's huge. I also only wear it for special occasions as I have a tendency to fiddle with rings and have lost a few to daily wearing/fiddling, so it stays in its box most of the time.

[@meganstreiff5157]

My boyfriend could propose with a ring pop and I'd say yes and parade it around my friends and family as if it was pure gold and diamonds. It would actually make me feel a Lil weird if he got me anything more than like in the 200s because I'd be afraid to accidentally have something happen to it (I'm a very anxious person). We've talked about rings because he asked if I'd be cool with synthetic (I am, it would make me feel more ethical anyways) and I told him I'd enjoy a black band and a ruby 1) birthstone, 2) it'd look really cool and look like either lava or blood. I actually have the idea to get a ring and print out an uno reverse card around the time I'd think he'd propose so when he does I'd be like "oh my god, I have something to say" give him the uno reverse card and kneel down to propose back to him. (Sorry if I went off the rails with this this comment, I just really like talking about the idea of me marrying this man, we've been together for 5 years this October and he's the love of my life).

[@muhname6052]

Speaking as someone who had 3 grandma's I wasn't confused until people told me I should be confused. I just had three grandma's

[@Allenluvable]

Same, but with grandpas. I only realized it was kind of confusing when I was telling people stories that involved said grandpas, and they began to get confused when they realized I had three.

[@mintyblossom3930]

“i’m just crying for attention” alone is just the worst thing I’ve ever felt

[@ArcanineEspeon]

I'm so mad that we never got to find out an explanation from Dennis.

[@k3upikachu]

I found the update. tl;dr he has commitment issues lol. It's called: The guy who ghosted me for almost 2 weeks, has contacted me now. Final

[@Caydeeboi]

3 VIDEOS IN ONE DAY??? Markee chill out! 😂

[@sophdog2564]

Seems like lately he's been working every other week and in the on weeks he uploads like 3 videos

[@nyxspiritsong5557]

No!! DON'T chill out Markee!! Don't do it!

[@GreenKnight1982]

Well admittedly the third one is a two and a half hour long compilation video but I love these because I can listen to them at work and not have to worry about loading new ones

[@muhname6052]

Last two stories: yeah I'd just ghost Sammy boy. Slowly shift money in to a different account at a different bank and just leave. OP is dieing. Having nobody around at your ending has to be better than only people who want to use you.

[@baskervillebee6097]

If the guy is the right one, the ring could be from a gum machine.

[@dorothymcgee2217]

With the ring story: My husband proposed to me without a ring. That's another story in its self. He insisted that I go with him to pick out the ring, so I did. The ring I picked out had a very small diamond and was rather cheap, compared to the other options. He actually got mad at me that I didn't pick out a huge rock rather than the smallest diamond that I could. I'm not one for jewelry, which is weird because I like making jewelry, but I'm not a ring person. I didn't want him to put himself in a huge debt for an engagement ring. Any woman that gets upset that their future husband doesn't commit themselves for years and years over a ring isn't worth it. Seriously, a ring is a symbol and not a social status!!!!!!

[@nadyacoombes256]

Lol it kills me sometimes how hung up ppl get on a ring. Actually my husband got me a big ring and it’s the most annoying thing ever..cooking or seasoning meat I take it off to not mess it up. Dishes same don’t want to scratch the damn thing, washing annoying random pieces of stitching gets caught on it and will pull on the clothes. Reaching in the oven to pull something out.. annoying cause the ring band because of the thickness will get hot also lol it’s sooo annoying so instead for our anniversary he got me a simple band and I’m soooo happy doesn’t get caught on my hair when washing it in the shower or any of the little day to day things the other one is in it’s box and I barely wear it at all. I told him if he wants to sell it back and get something for himself lol.

[@sugakookie7985]

Cat's are very intuitive, the one you found actually found you and decided you needed him, its a blessing.

[@AeonAxisProductions]

Cat distribution system at work right here

[@IceofTheArctic]

Mine and my husbands rings came from a client of ours who was in a ‘dead marriage’. She wanted her rings to go to a marriage that meant something, that had love. My husband proposed in our kitchen surrounded by holiday lights with a heirloom engagement ring that was not fancy. I don’t know the karate of my rings. I don’t know the value. I don’t care. That night will always be memorable to me. I was never so smitten. 7 years. I still love him to death. Ditch the woman. Get one who appreciates your efforts.

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

Story one: He's clearly not over her. Best to just leave the guy. He really needs to learn that it's over between him and his ex. His idea of doing so by marrying OP was never a good idea. I hope OP gets better. That's plenty of wasted time. 😬

[@capsizemoonz2251]

Over an email?

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

@@capsizemoonz2251 Over constantly trying to get in contact with her ex (when she wants nothing to do with him) and wondering what it could've been if they were never separated, even when they're married. He's not over her and is using OP as some sort of rebound. Not good.

[@coureenlawrence4915]

I don't know why people get involved with other people when they love someone else. It never works.

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

@@coureenlawrence4915 Rebound, maybe? Or just a way to force themselves to move on with messy results for the parties involved. Who knows? :/

[@Cannibalsnacks]

@@user-fg4tn8ot6b the best update is when OPs husband wrote - My wife is leaving me over a gmail my therapist suggest I write to my eX

[@wsn111]

Story 2: My husband and I both got our rings from Pawn shops. It's the most economical. I have a 14k white with 3 good sized diamonds. We paid $150. I use to walk home passed a name brand jewelry store and that exact band on sale was about $1000. Diamonds aren't worth crap. I'm not a sucker. Buy second hand.

[@meganstreiff5157]

Pardon my language, but hell yeah! That's also pretty ethical too!! I hope you and your husband are doing well and having a lovely day or night! (I'm being genuine, I'm sometimes bad with tone stuff in text😅)

[@sandranoisewater6093]

Pawnshop is a money saver! My husband is allergic to yellow gold. I bought white gold rings for $60 a steal.

[@platinum_noelle]

My response to Dennis would've been, "you completely ghost me for 2 weeks, and that's what you come back with?" In fact, when his friend asked where he was, I'd have said something like "idk, he hasn't responded to a single call or message for weeks, you tell me"

[@akshathahegde6550]

I'm very sad that there's no update

[@lkayh]

The proposal guy chose a really nice ring and his proposal was sweet and thoughtful, and she said no because she wanted a bigger diamond and a big splashy proposal. I think he should thank her for doing him a favor and move on.

[@Allenluvable]

OP in that story was actually a female. Lesbian couple.

[@ebsplace9907]

my soon to be husband gave me a small box and told me to try the ring and when we were in the room once i had the ring on he asked me to marry him lol i told him he could’ve used a ring pop and i’d still marry him

[@lkayh]

@@ebsplace9907 Right? If you love the person, that stuff doesn’t matter. I think parents should discourage their daughters (and sons) from making super detailed fantasies about their engagements and weddings. Expectations are never fully met and when you’ve built up this huge fantasy and you don’t get it, it feels like a let-down, even though the person you’re marrying might be absolutely wonderful and an ideal match.

[@insideoutcabbage]

Markee going full joker brain at 53:29 was unexpected but much appreciated 😂

[@cpaul9269]

the wedding food story - unreal. how is giving other people additional options damage the folks that would eat the other options?! its that whole "pie" mentality - "if they get stuff, we dont." ITS NOT PIE, and this whole family is whack. run.

[@kellybraun7048]

I agree. Completely unreal. Sorry, I can’t take it. I have to rant. She’s vegan. She’s expecting to marry someone who doesn’t understand her dietary needs/choices (I assume there’s some of both- needs being health needs in her family, choices being not liking a particular food or the process it’s sourced from). He doesn’t care about her health, he doesn’t care about what she likes or doesn’t like, he doesn’t care about her options, he doesn’t care about her family. That means he doesn’t respect her, he doesn’t pay attention to what she says or does (he hasn’t noticed her eating decisions?! Isn’t that dating 101?). He has no interest in building relationships with her family. This would be like my in-laws making a holiday meal where everything is spicy when I’m sensitive to spice, despite me telling each person verbally and by text (this almost happened when we were engaged, but it wasn’t purposeful, I hadn’t thought to ask what we’d be eating, lol). I bet she’d be unable to eat anything at her in-laws… they’d probably even find a way to add something problematic to the salad. Eating a lot of meat is not a religion, why are they trying to convert others?

[@cpaul9269]

@@kellybraun7048 sing it sister! thats actually why i find the story kind of unbelievable - how do you get to this point in a relationship without this having come up before? but i have met people like this guy's family - they think something people do is BS, and they get aggressive against it, as if it is somehow a threat to them - but i really think that show they see it. "There were no [insert one of many words here] when i was growing up so it must all be some liberal invention!" ive heard it said about autism, therapy, crimes, dietary issues, mental illness - you name it. i think they feel the way of life they grew up with is going to disappear if they dont fight back. sorry - i guess im ranting too now! lol the best advice i ever got in my life was that the only thing in the world that doesnt change is the fact that it is constantly changing, so dive in and embrace it if you want a happy and fulfilling life. turning into these people is the alternative, so.....

[@kellybraun7048]

@@cpaul9269 Absolutely. The human mind does such wild things. The biggest thing to me is that we get comfortable, repeating routines and patterns until we can’t handle anything outside of that structure created by our minds over years. We forget that we need to continue to grow, learn, change, adapt, build and strengthen relationships, etc. “A thing not cared for, dies.” If we aren’t regularly questioning our thinking and way of living (continuing to seek improvement in ourselves and our situation/community), our ability to reason (logically and emotionally) suffers atrophy. This disconnects us from others (intellectually and emotionally), increasing loneliness and making an echo chamber where only our thoughts repeat, continuing the downward spiral.

[@cpaul9269]

@@kellybraun7048 so true - well said! and it is so easy to have happen. im grateful for having a love of learning - i am such a better person now than i was anytime before. I ask questions. "seek first to understand.." i put that phrase over my office doorway to remind my direct reports as well as myself.

[@vieweronly3391]

Story 2: Look my boyfriend almost bought a ring that i hated because it was a decent price. I told him i would say yes but i wouldnt wear it and it would be ashame for him to waste his money. Also the ring was a diamond but i told him i didnt want a diamond. I would never turn down a proposal though because the ring doesnt matter. OPs gf is materialistic. She will definetely be a bridezilla....i dont think this relationship will last

[@KyrieChii]

And it was a beautiful (& for my income level expensive) ring! I could understand if it was just a stylistic preference that they wanted to change, or if she had expressed very _specific_ hopes for the proposal (there have been plenty of reddit stories with those issues that _weren't_ because the fiancé was an entitled materialistic monster). I could even understand if (like in _2 other_ reddit stories) the guy _lied_ about the ring/it's value, claiming it was worth several grand only to find out from someone else that it's only worth _$30._ Another 2 OPs came to find out that their ex _deliberately_ bought a particularly cheap ring that wasn't at all her style, & disregarded her dream proposal (that would've been _free_ & that they'd discussed MANY times). It turned out it was intentional because he(/they) wanted an 'out' of the long term relationship that would make _her_ look like the 'bad guy'. (I believe both of them were cheating on top of it). But this story isn't like that, she's just materialistic garbage who is holding out on accepting the proposal until he gets the ring she _thinks_ she deserves, even pressuring him to get _another job_ to afford it .UGH.

[@darianchristie3260]

I accompanied my boyfriend back to our home city for him to see his estranged father on his deathbed. The damn plane got there four hours late and he'd passed beyond speaking, but that's another story. We stayed at my parents' house which has my amateur geology collection, and while looking at it he offhandedly asked what gemstones I like best. I told him I don't actually like diamonds and my favourite is actually garnets. A couple of weeks later, he proposed, with a gold ring with a lovely big ruby-red garnet. It probably cost about $150 but that was awesome. A year later we got my marriage ring as a special shape to fit around it, with a couple of small garnets in it. I got him a big green chunk of kryptonite in a steel ring (actually a neat piece of meteor rock from Europe). So he can punch Superman :)

[@kentario1610]

@@darianchristie3260 that's so dorky and wholesome, I love it (but sorry about what the late plane did)

[@Lunasera]

OP from the last posts should really run, even if it takes some illegal actions like hiding the money and taking off to another country. Usually I'm not for that but in this case GO FOR IT!

[@Keyonne88]

If my mother-in-law suggested I no longer let my child see his biological grandmother, the mother-in-law would be the one to never see the kid agian.

[@carlrood4457]

Sounds like Pete might have started dating a single mom to make his mom a grandma

[@lunaticbz3594]

The story about the Kid Oliver, and the deceased husbands mother. Really hit me in the feels because it reminded me of a terrible tragedy that happened in my family. My cousin passed away young and suddenly leaving behind 3 kids and her husband. Then just weeks later the youngest child a newborn died of SIDS.. My Aunt (my cousins mother) was the most involved in the after math. While the whole family came together and was supportive she was the one providing the daily child care, the one most involved. This happened several years ago, and with the view now of hindsight. For all the tragedy that happened the whole situation could've spiraled far more out of control. Without support and help her Husband, the sole remaining parent probably wouldn't be with us anymore either. These days he is an amazing father, and I hope at some point he finds a woman he can marry. Technically speaking people could say that my cousins husband isn't really part of the family anymore, on paper I suppose that's true. But he's always going to be a part of our family, death isn't enough to cut that bond if anything it made it stronger. If my cousin from a different mother is reading this, your an amazing person. And will always be part of the family.

[@carlrood4457]

I'll go one further. My cousin is one of six children (5 men, 1 woman) All but one of the men married (he's Downs Syndrome). All married their high school or college sweethearts. Since I'm considerably younger than them (the eldest married when I was 5), I always remember the spouses being around, except with youngest since he's not that much older. Anyway, after something like 30 years of marriage and two grown children, my cousin cheated. The rest of my cousins weren't about cut his ex out because she'd been family for decades (and quite frankly even before the cheating she was more likeable than my cousin).

[@Kati_P]

Story 2: I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger....Oh, wait, yes I am. OP will have a terrible time of it if he stays with her. She's a selfish hypocrite who sees OP as a cash cow. Run, OP! Run!

[@mayurakshimukherjee7948]

She is.

[@gregoryzn87]

I just got engaged. My girl made not a single demand. OP needs to run.

[@paulinadeboer3604]

Yeah this sounds like the girl is a instagram addict. He is just her atm.

[@mayurakshimukherjee7948]

@@paulinadeboer3604 she* op is also a girl.

[@promisedmysun6044]

​@@gregoryzn87 congrats to you and your SO on your engagement!

[@carlrood4457]

A 10 year old is capable of establishing their own relationships. They do it in school every day. They are past the point where their friends are based simply on who their parents arrange a playdate with. You can't simply force them to like you. Also cutting him off from his only blood relation on his father's side, who's been good to him, is a terrible thing. Maybe get to know the child and let a relationship grow naturally.

[@plasmocat1863]

It sounds like they want to alienate her and her child from ppl who care about her. I'd be running, not walking out.

[@GreenKnight1982]

If your so-called significant other gives you an ultimatum or complains about the ring size ( stone stone size/price tag ) you give them for a proposal that is one of the ultimate red flags to run in the opposite direction as fast as you possibly can! The only red flag that would be bigger is if they treat their mother/father better than they treat you or if they are physically / mentally / financially abusive.

[@littlegreycat]

Sam doesn’t want to lose the cash cow. She needs to do what she suggested at the beginning. Slowly cut her hours at work as her health requires. Then let the chips fall as they may.

[@SCUBASUEReynard]

Ya. That mom got what she deserves for her abusive behavior to older sister. No the years of abuse have hardened that woman. Mom has to go to work. The dad divorced her not for tax reasons but solidified his removal of her from his economic s. She should have been smart enough to make sure she had a sty pin after his death. Now she must get her GED on line and get a job.

[@coureenlawrence4915]

Yeah, that man was resentful of how she treated his daughter, and he did not want her get half of his assets if he asks for a divorce, so he tricked her and she was so stupid not to realized it. Most people who married a wealthy person, they never think about times like this, they always want to live the fancy lifestyle. All those years together and she didn't think to have a personal back account for herself. She deserves what she got.

[@noblepenn4816]

Finally, this comment is for Markee 🇦🇺. Thank you, good sir, for your awesome vids. They keep the intrusive thoughts out on slow days. And dear God, 3 videos in one day, I'm going to have to pace myself.

[@plasmocat1863]

[The bf said] "he didn't think I would be with him right now if Oliver was still alive." 👀 Well. Can't get anything past that guy. OP might still be married to the man she loved if he hadn't died, thus making her available to date her current bf years later. Have to admit it's hard to argue with that kind of "logic." 👀 The aUDaciTy of this man saying (previously) that *OP* is "unreasonable" and "blinded by emotions." That's like the kettle calling the orange black or something.

[@sarahraisingmyvoice]

Could we get more R/legal advice soon? Those were always my favorites!

[@eileenhathaway1674]

The last story sounds fake because, how can someone be so gullible and have a job like her? She thinks he is hoping she will die or something, but eats the food he cooked and took the meds he handed her? Probably goes to the therapist he picked out for her too.

[@KyrieChii]

I really _really_ hope it is fake, because if it isn't, my heart breaks for her. She has SUCH low self esteem that she seems willing to tolerate _anything,_ which abusers are so good at picking out that they can practically _smell_ it from across a room. I always envision a predator circling a herd looking for the 'weak sick or deformed' prey that will be easiest to take down. She not only believes she is 'totally unattractive' (particularly compared to how she describes him), but also had money & is in poor health. She's emotionally, psychologically, financially (due to the prenup she agreed to that ONLY favors him in the case of a divorce, + her likely future medical bill concerns, & her belief that her parents will disown her thus removing _them_ as a possible support) & physically as vulnerable as they come. Unfortunately I have a feeling it IS real.

[@shells500tutubo]

The way she talked about her parents and the arranged marriage she may be Indian or some other Asian group, where a lot of the women are highly educated and accomplished in their work but must still adhere to "tradition" at home. The parents also seem like they are very emotionally abusive too. A very, very sad story, but if she is living in the US then she just needs to find a lot better legal counsel than she has, because what she is saying she has been told is not at all true, especially about lifelong alimony nonsense. A healthy young male who is deliberately underemployed demanding extended alimony? Not gonna happen.

[@spikesgirl9371]

​@@basura3787 well alot smarter then op

[@KrackmcKitty]

Men who hate cats and refuse to let someone own them are horrible

[@silveritea]

Sam’s wife - I would drain the accounts, skip the country and find a nice beach to retire on.

[@jakeand9020]

Make no mistake, cousin asked OP to be his best man to rub his face in it. OP's response was epic, and less than deserved.

[@BLKWIDOWX]

it sos funny that with that proposal story everyones telling him to dump her bc she’s a gold digger, but in another story where the woman wasn’t thrilled with her proposal or her ring, everyone was telling her to dump him she deserves better etc make him try again. that story ended up being more than jsut the proposal but 💀 funny how reddit works aint it

[@Allenluvable]

1) op in ring story is a female, she says so at the start of the story. Lesbian couple. 2) i do kind of get where you are coming from, but if you're talking about the story I think you are, I would say the difference is that that OP and bf had had multiple talks about the ring, where the OP was even willing to pay for it. They had also mentioned where they would like the proposal to be, and in the end, he disregarded all of it, even after multiple discussions. If this OP and her gf had talked about it, and OP had ignored her wishes like that bf, she would then be the AH.

[@brandyb2931]

My husband proposed to me with no ring while he was folding laundry. He was so nervous and he was telling me how he has felt about me all these years and how he was so happy that we were finally giving our relationship more than just friendship or fwb. He said he had told me 6 years ago if he ever got married it would be to me and that now that we have gotten to this point, he wanted to know if I would marry him. I laughed because that's when I do when I'm nervous, so that threw him off for a second and then I told him yes. That was 18 years ago and we are still going strong. I didn't need a ring to know he loved me, I didn't need a ring for him to prove it, he has proved it to me for over 18 years. I have rings now, but love isn't measured with diamonds and over the top wedding proposals, its shown in your everyday lives with how you take care of one another and how you stick with each other through the good and the bad. I think social media has set high expectations for a moment that should be more about love and commitment than fireworks and diamonds. I looked up the ring she chose, its a beautiful ring, I have one very similar. The only thing OP should do publicly is dump that materialistic selfish twit.

[@snoopysnoopy2556]

Op savage revenge at the wedding is epic . But the next part about revenge is living your best life unfortunately op is far from living his best life. I’m which I feel very sad

[@lonewanderer8743]

People always put on therapy is the answer on reddit, which therapy did absolutely nothing for me but to each their own. Sometimes just moving on with your life is the answer. Take satisfaction in your revenge that most people never get a chance at, cut off anyone that has a problem with it and get on with your life. Definitely a sad end though that left me a little mad.

[@mht4908]

At least the cousin felt remorseful enough to pay for his counseling sessions, doesn't take away the fact that he was a piece of shit for doing that to OP, his ex too

[@JasmynSundayrose]

The engagement ring one: dump her. You'll regret being married to her. She'll put you into bankruptcy. That furniture comment is spot on.

[@tinycrimester]

regarding the phobia story: gotta love the type of people who, when they did something bad to you and you reacted poorly, get upset at you for making THEM feel bad.

[@DestinyKiller]

The thing that gets me with that one is how badly do her (totally legit) valid fear of fire, how often does it really come up, realistically? A gas stove isn't that big of a deal. Neither is standing apart at a bbq

[@angeleyesgreen1586]

The fact that op didn't tell the gf to buy it her D*MN self is frustrating. It feels like horrifically low self esteem

[@Aymarichan]

Your random bursts of comedy always catch me off guard 🫠😂

[@gladygalvan8069]

Amusement Park Story: the husband is an expert at gaslighting

[@Nerobyrne]

Am I the only one who read "nailed his ex"? ^^

[@llcdrdndgrbd]

He wishes

[@listenquitely2888]

S2: First its a rock not big enough. Wait until ur married and she wants a house not an apartment, girl not a boy, dog not a cat. WAKE UP OP!

[@magnarcreed3801]

Lmao revenge can be the answer. Maybe not for you, but for some people that’s the first step they need to healing.

[@JDKT002]

Story 1: There's a right and a wrong way to go about expressing feelings towards "the one that got away". I have one such ex, She's beautiful, our personalities meshed, fantastic sexual chemistry, etc. But neither of us were on the same page at the same time. We were on again off again for almost a decade, even after I moved out of state I would visit her when I could. But it was always short lived, their was never a blow up or incident that caused it. She eventually got married and she's happier than I've ever seen her. More happy than I could ever have made her. I'm SO happy for her, even if it is somewhat bittersweet. But I would never bemoan that it should have been me or anything like that. While we may not be together, we're both very happy in our lives, and we're still very good friends. Story 2: Wow...just wow. OP has very clearly been stomped all over and thinks the GF's behavior is a sign of love. This is unfortunately all too common an issue in the gay and trans community. The pervasive ingrained mind set that if you don't stay with the first person who will have you, you are going to die alone. Honestly I would rather be alone and keep my dignity. My girlfriend of almost 3 years wants to marry me, she wants to propose, she wants to give me a ring. She could propose to me with a $30 ring off Amazon and I wouldn't think any less of her or the proposal. I'm marrying her, not the ring.

[@happysheepies7321]

The gal with the ring-dump her

[@EchoJ]

*Story 2:* Yeah, I wondered why the gf wasn’t getting OP a ring. My husband bought me a wedding band (we did the courthouse thing) and I did the same for him. Is exchanging rings not a thing anymore? One person in the relationship is responsible for _both_ now? I wonder where OP lives, because she didn’t seem phased by it at all, while many in the comments were as stunned as I am.

[@IzzyPR2010]

It's amazing how many people out there will betray someone, not have contact with them for years, then contact them, not even apologize, while expecting them to act like nothing ever happened. You have to be a total idiot to ask a guy you betrayed to be the best man at your wedding. And as someone else pointed out in the comments, this cousin must not have any friends if he resorted to asking OP to be the best man. Or it could have been ego and it was his cousins attempt at gloating. Some people criticize OP, I won't, that cousin was a dumbass for asking OP to be there under that circumstance, he learned a lesson, some people don't forget when you screw them over and cousin was a moron for not asking OP about his feelings about what happened in the past before asking him to be the best man. Play stupid games win stupid prizes.

[@LA-mz1dd]

I'm not afraid of fire but if I hugged my BF and he decided to shove a lighter in my face I would be passed too.

[@vetaroberts3333]

This is your son’s grandma, don’t let him block your son’s grandma

[@lina9535]

Regarding the amusement park story, and I realise that this could be "oh so embarassing" for people, but there is something called "information desks" where you can ask for a worker to do a "park wide announcement" for a person to get their sorry behind over there. Also, the large group is an excuse in my eyes. I've been with large groups before, even people that I didn't know at all, and I'm a quiet "wall flower" kind of person, I can easily just slip away in a crowd, or (god forbid lol) be forgotten as I'm so quiet. Yet, in all of those cases, at least half of the people have made sure that I was still with them, checked in on how I was doing, and asked if I was enjoying whatever it was we were doing.

[@hbkgirl1982]

13:19 OP she doesn't deserve you! Your proposal was one of the sweetest! Proposals and rings don't have to be big and flashy!

[@Price8903]

I’m glad having a child changed his heart.

[@EleanorRush]

For the Missouri story the mom could collect her ex husbands social security if they were married ten years or more.

[@hazeltulip]

But she is only in her 40s, she may not be able to yet. The bigger issue is that the mother was groomed by the father then disinherited by him.

[@SpookiCooki]

Fire story: I'm so glad she dumped his ass! He clearly wanted to hurt her by the way he acted. Imagine being afraid of snakes, you hug your SO from behind and they put a snake around their neck. NOBODY would consider that helpful. Also, fire is so dangerous and destructive it's not strange to be afraid. I have a huge respect for fires, especially since my autistic brother set the kitchen on fire when we were home alone as kids. I managed to put it out but that experience left marks on me.

[@alexandermccalla5098]

She’s kidding herself to convince that this is how she wants to bring a kid into the world.

[@LadyDragon11135]

“Managed to disinherit my mom” >left her a whole ass house Sounds like someone was raised to be entitled

[@SCUBASUEReynard]

Poor dude invited to his cheating x and cousins’ wedding all he needs to say is Why didn’t they just leave me alone . Why did they invite me to their wedding ? Why am I his best man. Are they so unloveable they have no other friends? I’m going back to my therapist. Do they want the bill?

[@retaburwell2200]

To the lady who had surgery that went to meet his friends and forget her someone who accuse you of cheating is the one cheating.

[@rmhartman]

it's just getting real to him NOW? not, say, when he proposed to you? or at any other time since they broke up?? or when SHE got married???

[@itsneverduck.8691]

For the story with the lighter… was he a damn pyromaniac?? Who in their day to day life, is around fire so much, that it’s actually an inconvenience to them being married to someone afraid of fire??

[@cutelilkitten96]

I lost it with the "ho ho ho, merry Christmas"😂 i love the improv there! Thank you Markee for all these videos! 1:00:18

[@dreamfired]

Exposure therapy, lead by a trained therapist, in a controlled environment, with the CONSENT of the patient, can work. What the husband did was ignorant.

[@Lauria2875]

So, did anyone else read the title and want to know where he mailed her to?

[@tiryaclearsong421]

Yes. I thought it was a typo but it caught my attention.

[@Allenluvable]

Lol I get it

[@spikesgirl9371]

Yep.

[@ryugahydeki2]

This is literally what Joji’s song Glimpse of Us is all about. It’s like a perfect depiction of it. 😂

[@amerlin388]

Regarding the pregnant child-free couple, clearly a unilateral choice to have the child risks divorce. If such a situation resulted in divorce, I hope a woman would have the integrity to refuse child support and acknowledge the ex-husband should have no responsibility, financial or otherwise, for the child. Of course, the messed up courts would almost certainly rule she can't rescind child support on behalf of her child. Also, this is considered a geriatric pregnancy; combined with the alcohol use, OP should not be complacent about chances of baby/pregnancy problems.

[@amerlin388]

S2. OP needs to double down on the contraception, stock up on some beautiful memories, and start looking for the off ramp. If OP and she are together on a lease, do not renew thinking this will work out -- it won't (if he's lucky). BTW, never even heard of an engagement ring for the man, just a wedding ring.

[@shells500tutubo]

I think they are both women, which makes how I see things a little bit differently. Op was all involved about a proposal and engagement ring, etc, and this bitch was doing NOTHING for her.

[@amerlin388]

@@shells500tutubo Good catch. Guess I was confused by the straightforward, correct use of pronouns. LOL.

[@hilarymurray8741]

No vegan food at wedding story : NTA OP. Make it clear to the caterer that, as you are paying them, what you say goes and you will not pay them if they do not provide what you asked for. Make a password for any changes and do not tell anyone else what it is. If your future MIL or fiance try to change the menu, they will not know the password and will be ignored. Incredible gall of fiance and his family to pull this when you are paying. Hope it's not a huge red flag for how they intend to treat you in the future, or you may regret you bothered to get married at all!

[@TarisLuna]

Why are people so hung up on engagement rings being big, expensive etc.? My husband proposed with a drugstore store ring (which I really like and still wear do special occasions), because he didn't have much back then and decided by himself he'd like me to have something "better", so he took me to the jewler a year later. I chose a 30 buck ring with a glass stone, simply because it wasn't the ring that was important, but the person and commitment it symbolised. Neither of the rings is "better" than the other one, because they both symbolise the same thing. We are now together for 11 years, married for 8 and are still going strong. The choices of ring did not change anything about our relationship, love for each other and enjoyment of spending all those years together.

[@hilarymurray8741]

Father married the babysitter story : Not your fault, OP, but it looks like your mother was the Affair Partner, and Older Sister will have all the baggage from that to screw her life up, as well as how badly your mother treated her. Looks like it's Karma, as OS is not likely to give your mother, who broke up her parents' marriage, anything - and who can blame her? Mess about and find out. Looks like nasty dad wanted her off his back financially so she could not fleece him when divorcing him for his infidelities. She is young yet. No reason she cannot work. I am much older and work to support myself. You are not obliged to support her financially as she can work, as she could have done years ago when you and your sister were in school. If she does not want to, that's up to her. She is not entitled to mooch off you and your sister and, definitely, not from the child whose home she wrecked and who she bullied so badly.

[@catking1059]

Queer women who uphold gender roles for themselves (not buying your female partner an engagement ring) are wild

[@slaveofmouse]

The cat distribution system works its magic again.❤

[@Nursern1974]

A full carat is not small! Red Flags!!! When people show you who they are believe them

[@muhname6052]

Oh god, the theme park story. If I remember correctly, she's dying and wealthy, and it turns out Sam is a gold digger counting the days until she dies

[@Cannibalsnacks]

STory 2: its kinda nice to know that there are a portion of lesbians out there that can understand the complaints cis guys: well at least a little.

[@ZombieSazza]

The woman who’s gf is whinging about the ring, the proposal, how it wasn’t “done right”, how it isn’t “expensive enough”, nah, I’d be leaving her.

[@muhname6052]

Last story: i wouldn't trust anything sam gives me.

[@anneduggan1014]

If you’re still going to marry her, you’re getting what you deserve!!!!!

[@ajzephyros7454]

wait a 2 hour video released with several other videos in one day? Well then

[@mdaenen123]

“I’m scared of fire. But I smoke.” Don’t know. Sounds counterintuitive 😂

[@draconicfeline6177]

You know, sometimes I get really, horribly sad when I remember that not even a century ago - and in many places right now today, even in our own country - women in these terrible situations had no recourse and just had to suffer in abuse forever. That's why I hate the right and their views on abortion, rights, divorce, etc - I know I'm lucky to be born here, and I don't want them taking away these necessary lifelines for me or anyone else. I want to be sad about the past and mourn the women who suffered so that I don't have to today, not the present, where I can be free but others are basically enslaved.

[@draconicfeline6177]

Also suspicious of abortion story, it reeks of prolifer propaganda - "Oh it will all change once you have them you will be full of so much love blah blah" Another baby? Really? It's all sunshine and roses? Really? I call bullshit, but also, it's important that abortion be a potential choice, without barriers.

[@spikesgirl9371]

That's ok we hate the left who are letting men who wear dresses take over WOMEN'S sports, WOMEN'S bathrooms, taking WOMEN'S achievements like women of the year, going into female prisons and SA female inmates, taking top jobs for WOMEN ect.... yeah you're a real champion for women. Oh and killing babies in the womb by the childs own mother is not something to celebrate especially since half are girls.

[@lucyann1573]

The person who still wants to marry that...person...who complained about the ring and proposal is an absolute fool. How someone could want to be with such an entitled brat is baffling

[@Iflie]

That doctor must be against abortions, plenty of babies have alcohol damage from early alcohol exposure. Even when it's invisible. It's a game of chance.

[@klaythoring1326]

Oh man, the commenter that said “I’m just crying for attention…I’m alone” made me LOL. I never thought about how irrational that is to do. If it were for attention, probably wouldn’t be “not burdening anyone else with my inability to cope with abuse”