My experience with depression (and why I'm doing something mental to raise money for it)

Thanks for listening everyone.
TO DONATE:
So, the page isn't perfect in the sense that you can't actually see which charity is which. Simply click on each one to see which one it is.
Here's the link: www.justgiving...
wish me luck :)

[@GeoWizard]

-Thanks for listening everyone and thanks for your amazing comments. I had no idea what the reaction would be as it's not something that I've spoke about before, but it seems to have had a positive effect already. Even more reason to get this video out there. Doesn't take a second to drop this one a like, with each like helping us to reach dozens more potentially affected people, and that's just the start! -Donations: So, the page isn't perfect in the sense that you can't actually see which charity is which. Simply check the order in the description to combat this. Here's the link: www.justgiving.com/team/DribblingBritain2022 -One thing I forgot to touch on in the vid: Some of you might be wondering what happens if I fail. Will I still be taking donations? If something freak happens like I get injured then I'll let you all know before the release date and we can go from there. If I fail to make the 24 hour cut off then so be it. If I have to call it a day and sleep in the support van overnight, I will continue the next day. I'll get to Newcastle one way or the other unless I'm physically unable, so you probably won't hear anything until the release date in mid August.

[@andy105]

great work Tom. If you ever come to Switzerland again, let me know I can host you and help find more hosts. Also I have some adventure ideas myself that might tickle your interest.

[@zlomeny]

a great cause, the support is deserved. good on you for sharing your experience

[@fivr.]

this video was so great thank you for this it really inspired me

[@RRRRRRP]

Massive respect for this one mate, well done!

[@JonathanWJ]

Is the order correct? I thought CALM was receiving the £30,000 goal, but you listed it second in the description (and the £30,000 goal is first in the list just below).

[@unknown6000]

This is the first time I've ever donated to a charity. I'm just a poor student, so I don't have much to give, but you're one of the most genuine and good-hearted people I've had the pleasure of finding on KZbin. Your adventures and Geoguessr content have brought me a lot of joy in the times where I've battled depression myself. I've now been clear from antidepressants for 9 months, and going on an adventure inspired by you really helped that happen. I hitchhiked to the border between Finland and Norway and hiked to the highest point of Finland all on my own. It gave me strength to continue trying, and now I've been accepted back into a university. To anyone battling depression right now, know that it'll get better. It will take time, but even the smallest efforts towards getting your life on track, be it therapy, going to the store, playing a game of Geoguessr or just waking up and getting out of bed, will eventually get you to the point where you'll know everything will be alright in the end.

[@winstonpx]

That is an incredibly inspirational and motivational story. Keep it going, you're doing great!

[@benjaminburton45042]

Get in! Keep up the journey!

[@barjo_]

This is great to see, well done on your hike!

[@Skyggespil]

please dont spend your money donating to others if you are a student. People who are in a better financial situation should do that, You are the exact kind of person in need of help. Dont make it worse than it needs to be

[@kelana9744]

Thank you

[@phild5322]

Depression is such a hard thing to even come to terms with, let alone talk about. Hats off

[@Deroonenthuasiast]

@Don't Read My Profile Photo ratio

[@luminisant]

@@Deroonenthuasiast Don't read my name!!

[@Deroonenthuasiast]

@@luminisant ratio

[@yayaya4345]

@@Deroonenthuasiast Don't read this comment!

[@Daniel-Davies-Gonstead-Student]

@@yayaya4345 ratio?

[@michaeljarvis1340]

I'm Michael, part of the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) team. Thank you, Tom, for speaking so openly about your experiences - and choosing to support CALM with this incredible challenge. Your support will help unite against feeling shit and give people the strength to find the help they need.

[@gitsurfer27]

Thanks for doing what you do Michael, its very important work, especially in this day and age!

[@TPH250290]

I raised money for CALM in 2020, a great charity. Thanks for everything you do. :)

[@michaeljarvis1340]

@@gitsurfer27 Thank you! More than ever it's about working together. People like you, Tom, our helpline staff - together we've got this.

[@michaeljarvis1340]

@@TPH250290 Well in, love to hear it! What did you do for CALM?

[@WassupWassup123]

I like the name!

[@melo_maniac9983]

I'm literally in this exact position. left university, wanting to make music, having done music in uni, trying my best to find a job, instead of drinking or smoking, I'm eating awful stuff, I procrastinate i have done my entire life, I even procrastinate against my own thoughts, I'm completely lost at the age of 22, and if I ever think about these thoughts I go down a spiral. I've always suffered with some sort of stress. thank you for sharing your story, I hope to find my way as you have done. I in fact already know what I want to do travel wise as well. just got to train for it.

[@escivencain8653]

One step at a time bud. Start easy, walk the block. DM me if you release something new and I'll give it a listen

[@Wg-zp6gq]

Currently in a fairly similar situation myself man. Feel free to drop me a message if you need someone to chat to who understands 👍

[@wohlhabendermanager]

Hey man, wish I could give you some advice, but I really can't. All I can say is that I was in the exact same spot 20 years ago that you are in right now. I know, my words probably will sound hollow and if someone had told me this 20 years ago I would have said "fuck you, mate", but: You will get through this. Somewhere some opportunity will arise and you will take it, and it will all turn out fine. Just keep going, even though this might be the hardest thing to do right now. And 20 years from now you'll be giving out the same advice to another person struggling with life. All the best to you, mate.

[@MrMattytube]

Aim upwards and try to be the best you man, treat life as worth living and it will be

[@el_mal_de_ojo]

Stick it out. I know it sounds like just something people say, but I was suicidal at age 18, tried to take my own life but didn't - hardest and best decision I ever took. It's been 14 years since then, and while it hasn't been easy, it was worth it - just keep at it, a bit at a time, small steps. I still suffer from depression and there's peaks and troughs of severity, but it's always worth it just hanging on.

[@BenParkes]

Had me in tears listening to your struggles.. so similar, that never ending spiral of thoughts .. and the simple fear of thoughts coming back. Hats off for talking about it and you’ll be changing thousands of lives through this. Will try to get out to cheer you on. All the best Tom

[@DavidBennettPiano]

Man you’ve chosen a bloody hot week for it! Best of luck!! You’re doing amazing work 😊😊

[@matthewscott2359]

Didn’t expect to see you here

[@sanpedro6037]

@@matthewscott2359 Same

[@dieseljr7946]

"I'll either be entering Newcastle dribbling a football, or dribbling in the back of an ambulance" - What a quote. Love the determination, you got this Tom!!

[@enigmaticx326]

As someone who suffers from depression and anxiety- thank you for opening up about this and putting so much of your time and effort into this adventure for a good cause. You’re a legend Tom.

[@SoaralotMusic]

We do normalise depression for sure, but I think we also normalise stress, which can lead to all sorts of mental health problems.

[@krns1695]

+++

[@justus9694]

so true.. stress destroys so much

[@elin_]

Stress destroyed my moms life.

[@Drenwickification]

Stress in certain times of life I think is normal. Certain times of life can be stressful and it can be unavoidable - for example dealing with a sick partner and trying to support them whilst having to juggle with continuing to work to pay bills etc. But prolonged stress with no sign of it ending is of course completely unhealthy and needs to be addressed and it’s important to know how to deal with stress in moments in life when they come.

[@x_money_official]

As someone with depression, it was nice knowing that a grown man went through the same things I do know :) Thanks Tom

[@krns1695]

its grown people who really have the worst mental issues and they bring it onto the next generations

[@jeremymcadam7400]

certainly not a childish thing

[@jknight1415]

He looks more like a 11 year old boy

[@xXVarsinaxXx]

Pretty much nobody will see nor care but i might write this down for myself instead. 4 years ago I began my first real relationship, i loved her very much. She moved to my town for a year and she convinced me to move to her home city Sydney (a 2 day drive away), we moved to Sydney for university. While in Sydney, the year i started uni... covid hit, all classes moved online and we couldnt leave the house at all. I couldnt find work and honestly, after time i just gave up looking. My mental health took a dive, i had no friends in Sydney and what friends i did have from home slowly fell out of communication (no thanks to myself). Much of my day was just playing games and studying for my degree. My living conditions worsened and i gained a lot of weight, i was not proud of myself and expected nothing. Years of this went by and i could tell that we just didnt connect anymore, i realise now that i didnt put much physical effort into the relationship. Not to shift blame i also realise that she valued gifts more than any contact and time we spent together (she did apprecitate it, just not as much as I). With just less than a year left on my degree she broke up with me, we lived together for another month until i could move back home as i now had nowhere to live. Now that i have returned home, i am hesitant of contacting my old friends out of fear that they dont want to talk with me anymore. I have started a nursing degree at a uni in my hometown as they didnt offer the degree i had been completing in Sydney. After everything, i just feel like i have lost almost everything. I lost my friends, my degree and worst of all my only support that i had for the last 4 years. I only just blocked her on social media as when i opened it a week ago i got a friend recommendation from a new 'guy friend' of hers and the thought of her moving on already kinda just killed me that day. Sometimes i struggle to sleep, thinking that my life couldnt be any worse than it is. I feel alone and that i dont really want to struggle anymore. I want to say that im renewing myself and that things will get better... but honestly. Im fat, lazy and have lost all my friends. I feel like i will be alone forever and i will never love someone like i loved her and no one will ever love me. Im starting to take small victories, the other day i had a dream that made me wake up happy. All morning i felt so happy and upbeat, i will take it as a win even though i felt crushed and alone by the time i went to bed. Currently, my goals are this... - I want to excel in my new degree, and achieve good grades for my nursing degree. - I want to find a job. - I want to connect with people, find friends, re-kindle old friendships and meet new people. - I want to lose weight and be proud of my body. - I want to be happy, i want to wake up and not have to fake a smile. *For readers* I know my life is better than i believe it to be, and that it could be far worse. However, i cant help the way i feel. I apologise if im not clear in my sentences, or if im just rambling in parts. Honestly i havent proof read any of this, nor do i want to. I dont want sympathy or anything like that. Advice is welcome. Hell, if you wanna share an experience i would be glad to give it a read. I might not be happy with life right now but i still have some hope. I wish you all the best. *If by chance Tom sees this* I think you are an inspiration, i wish you all the best with all your upcoming adventures and im looking forward to viewing the ones you share with us. Good luck, you are gonna smash this next journey with time to spare! I will put myself though pain if i have too and i will feel better by the end of it!

[@allegrablack1583]

Hit up your old friends bro,

[@iliasp37]

Try to connect with your old friends nothing to lose man. hope the best for you. If you don’t feel ok with you being fat start a gym and if you don’t have time or money u can excerise in your house. Hope the best for you !

[@giofav1659]

Lots of people are in the same boat through covid. I think almost everyone had a negative change to their mental health being locked indoors. I ersoanlly think Australia sounded like it was the toughest lockdown out of most countries. Speak to your friends again, they will understand and maybe gone through similar. A more suited girl will eventually come into your life once you're ready. You got this!!!

[@GeoPeter]

Thank you for opening up about your experiences and raising awareness for this! Good luck with the challenge! I know you will succeed!

[@smithychris8537]

GeoPeter the LEGEND

[@Callan_]

Very brave Tom… great of you to raise awareness for such important topics

[@thecalmzonenet]

Skills, Tom! 👊💚 Sharing your experiences isn’t easy but we know that talking openly like this can be life-saving stuff for anyone else who’s struggling. Thanks for raising awareness and standing (and dribbling) with us, united against suicide. You’ll smash your challenge 👏

[@pootoolol]

Zu

[@bluecheese1066]

You're a lovely human being, Tom. And all of you watching this, you're all lovely too.

[@gyros69420]

Right? The like-minded community he's created with this channel is amazing

[@soft-llama1530]

I've always been afraid of talking about it because I have a fear of looking like I'm seeking attention. It sucks because I don't have friends (or really people to talk to,) so I sit with these feelings until it passes. Sometimes, a fleeting thought will appear during a decision; a thought of a certain back door, if things get too rough. I don't know how to talk about that feeling, or how I should go about seeking help and it scares me. But this video helped clear my head a bit -- made me feel less alone.

[@sheric3734]

You are not alone! So many people feel the same way and have the same struggles, as this video and comment section shows. I hope you find someone you can talk to, either in person or online.

[@thespankmyfrank]

I don't know where you live, but I'm sure you can find some kind of counselling, either through health services or just online. Also, if you're not ready for that, maybe find a hobby where you can meet likeminded people. There might be classes or just clubs somewhere you can go to. Maybe finding a friend or two will make you feel less alone, and it's easier to bond with people over a shared interest. Just know that many people struggle with these feelings, myself included, and it comes and goes. Just get through another day and maybe the next will be better. One day you'll have forgotten what it feels like. :)

[@soft-llama1530]

@@thespankmyfrank Thank you, really, this helps a lot!

[@dannydeezy]

I saw a Ted talk on KZbin not so long ago which really helped me. Its message was basically realising that once a thought comes into my head, I mentally ask the question, 'what can that thought do for me?'. If the answer is only for the bad, then I consciously know it won't do me any good. I've found that the act of even acknowledging that the thought is negative is better to just endure them without them being processed.

[@benradcliffe2717]

Depression with ADHD kills 😭, ontop of abandonment issues, and dad dying as a kid well I was in foster care, it truly truly did take a toll on my mental health, working on it now at age 24

[@benradcliffe2717]

@@cmpc724 I have mega social anxiety, I can't do people, I start sweating and overthinking everything as a usual ADHD person, my speech becomes all wonky😂, I just do me, been to a brain place cant remember what it was called, but theres only one place in New Zealand that does it in the North shore, and each meeting costed $2,000 to scan my brain through all different moods, just a whole shit show that I dont like talking about 😂, just wana curl up in a ball 😇, 10:48 PM Monday, I'm off to sleep, work tomorrow 🤦‍♂️😂

[@Yrenne]

As someone who's physically disabled but still enjoys the outdoors and dreams about traveling the world (even though I know now that it's not a realistic or even comfortable goal for someone in my condition), hearing you talk about working through the pain and all that is a bit of a double-edged sword. It's motivating but being physically unable to do anything about my condition or really even live the life I want just makes me more depressed. I know that's not what you intended to do with your words, but it is what it is. Like when you talk about how I should just start running to cure my depression when in fact my physical disability is preventing me from running and that's part of what's making me depressed. It's as you said, everyone's different... everyone has their own challenges and sometimes those challenges are physical. I enjoy living my dream of going on outdoorsy adventures vicariously through your videos, so I'm glad about that.

[@tomvernemusic]

Tom, you say you hope this helps someone- Your videos in general actually really helped me through my depression a few years ago. I had the exact same story- not knowing much about mental health, bit lost in life, bottling up and then it exploded, and the fact that it took a long long time to find out why I was even depressed, and then to break the negative loop. At the depths of it I was too down to even see friends/family. For lack of energy (it really knackers you being inside your own head all the time) but also I felt a burden honestly. But because you are a sound guy and have very similar interests to me, your videos in a weird way gave me some form of human contact when it was all I could muster. Helped me bridge that gap til I was ready to go and do those things in your videos myself again. Some may read this and think 'its just a KZbin channel' but it's the little glimmers of positivity that get you through when you're that down. So, honestly, thanks mate. Just wanted you should know how much it helped.

[@aayushrai8881]

You keep doing stuff that continues to raise respect levels among us and the community. Today's society needs more heroes like you. Bravo Tom, you're unreal mate.

[@luukvangriensven2559]

✅

[@adaddylicious1748]

AMONG US

[@evgenkonyshock4913]

Sus

[@gyros69420]

It's nice to watch such a genuine person and positive role model achieve such deserved success on this platform.

[@getawayunclejohn7107]

among us 😭😭😭

[@aitchgee9637]

couldn't of worded it better. I always struggled how to explain the thoughts and feelings. your explanation was identical and i think the way you worded it will in return help reach more people. Alot of people struggle with dread and terror of feeling like "one of those people" and not being able to explain to others around you elevates that dread. Moving away from impulsive substance abuse and people i associated with was the best thing iv ever done. Its common in todays age even more so and i would urge anyone to really focus on what toms saying as understanding we go through the same is crucial when you are young and things are all over the place. Stay safe everyone

[@harlemsfinest]

I went through this around age 18-19, and was extremely fortunate to conquer it in about 6 months. I’m 26 now and happy. 6 months was still a long time to suffer, and I’m lucky that I’m very introspective and was able to work out the cause of the problems. If you are in such a state, a therapist may be helpful to identify the problems that can be fixed. It often seems to be your behavior disappointing yourself, which often is fixed by doing difficult things. If you make it your mission to conquer it, you will. You can escape what feels doomed to be permanent, and return to “normal”. Best of luck!

[@gimballock2084]

I have just started looking into Stoicism, and what you are saying about pain really sounds similar to that. Overcoming discomfort for the sake of strengthening the mind, becoming more resilient. One bloke I've listened to talked about how he started looking forward to setbacks, because it's another chance to overcome a challenge and grow stronger from it. I think you are on to something for sure and your experience proves it.

[@tomcapers1717]

Tom I really love all your stuff. I'm also called Tom, from Melbourne and just finished school. I've been suffering from some pretty heavy depression but I'm learning to deal with it and its been gradually getting better. My plan is to cycle from home in Melbourne up north the whole way to Darwin later this year to try to sort some of my thoughts out. Hearing that you did something similar is really motivating for me to be able to tell myself I'm doing the right thing. I'd feel really lucky if I was able to be a person of a similar calibre to yourself. Good luck with your dribbling-a-football-across-the-country insanity, I'll be madly cheering you on from here.

[@WingingItCrypto]

Good luck on your adventure mate! You have my support, you'll smash it. 💪 All this motivation is definitely pushing me towards doing something like this!

[@LandyVlad_Rides]

Go for it!

[@jackwhorton6826]

100% cycling is fantastic for both your physical but also mental health. My advice would be don't stress the planning too much. It will fall into place as you go. The hardest part is just setting off so if you can get on your way the rest will just happen. Go for it!

[@luukvangriensven2559]

This is amazing! I’ve had some experiences myself, and the fact that you talk about yours in such a casual yet serious manner makes this video so powerful. We barely talk about depression, we don’t want to bother other people or come across as mentally ill. But when you, a lad I can identify with, share your story, it feels like your speaking for so many persons at the same time. Incredible Thom, you are helping world.

[@OdhranMurray]

I'm 16, and I struggle with an anxiety disorder and depression and have done for the better part of a year or so now, but it really all hit me around 3 months ago. Constant panic attacks, those dark thoughts you explained etc. I channel it all into writing music, and playing guitar. Just as you once ambitioned yourself. The amount I could relate to your story helped me loads. Knowing it's all normal and that it'll be alright, all the effort will be worth it. Watching your videos and adventures always keep me occupied, and relax me. Being able to play along with your Geoguessr videos also give an interactive element, you know how to keep your users engaged. :) I really appreciate your mission and your cause, as I agree that these mental illnesses have become lost within society and people have become numb to these terms. Awareness needs to be raised to give people the help they deserve. Thanks Tom. 😊

[@boot_eeee9336]

a lot of people you wouldn't think suffer from depression or an anxiety disorder, DO. not normal but, prevalent and understandable. talk to people and you will find a path. god bless

[@Ahlis369]

Thank you for talking about this, it makes me feel less alone, and gives me hope, living through something like that, and I'm sure lots of others watching the video too. Your a ledge Tom.

[@errricb]

You're a top lad Tom. I think mental health is definitely our modern society's biggest foe and speaking about it is the way to go. When I went through a rough patch myself recently I realised that in my close circle of friends, pretty much all of us went through anxiety and some sort of depression and I realised just how much it touches all of us. You're inspiring mate, keep going!

[@stefanschneider3681]

Struggling with Long Covid last year I had some moments where I lost faith in it getting better and had downs. What scared me the most about it is how it affects every single aspect of you, how you see yourself, how you feel, your energy disappears, you react differently to the people around you, it changes how you feel about your body, your physical health, everything is affected! Gladly these moments all passed fairly quickly and I've recovered from Long Covid as well, lucky me. But I will remember that very well!

[@thepublicnemesis3700]

While I can’t say I have depression, we all have those days, and I can’t stress enough how much you have helped with those days Tom. You are the greatest KZbinr to grade the earth mate. Thank you

[@lagazotheque]

Despite living in France, I address all my might and courage to you and would really have loved helping you on the way.

[@omaryamout835]

Tom, I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for this upload. I was delivered some devastating news yesterday that has been culminating for over 6 years. I literally bawled throughout the majority of this video. I felt like you were reading my exact emotions and helping me find a way out of the cycle you were talking about. This upload could not have come at a better time. Hoping that everyone going through a tough time can make it through quickly. Cheers!

[@skagslag1156]

I'm sorry mate, I wish you the best of luck with everything god bless you

[@MrMongoose221]

As someone who's really struggling right now I appreciate you opening up and supporting such a cause.

[@midooley543]

Hope you feel better now

[@Rockberries]

Thanks a lot for this essential message Tom, this is more important than ever. I've donated what I can at the moment. I'm in my late thirties and I've been struggling with depression, anxieties and OCDs for 8 years now. Even if people say that they understand, the stigma and ignorance surrounding mental problems is still going strong. The vast majority are no doubt well-intentioned, but also they think they know enough, yet they haven't even scratched the surface most of the time. So they simply don't know how to react or answer and it just makes you feel even more guilty and burdensome. Personally I've lost so much along the way and haven't been able to rebuild enough foundations so far. I'm wishing the best things to all the people battling at this moment.

[@rhurieg]

Thanks for this Tom. I’m in the same boat: about to turn 23 on Sunday, been lazing about since I left school with no direction and just depressed about it all. I’m planning on backpacking the uk this week, from top to bottom. I’m hoping something like that will help me understand and make me realise that this life isn’t long and we should make the most of every second. It was great to hear someone else sharing their experience with depression and mental health (especially you because you inspire me to adventure and explore the world). Hope you’re doing well mate. Life only gets better the more you understand. Lots of love and keep doing what you’re doing. P.S. I watch “how not to travel Europe” series about once a month and I’m even more excited to watch the US version.

[@LandyVlad_Rides]

Good idea!

[@ryanmc1292]

This hits close to home at the moment, thanks Tom for everything you do mate. Good luck with the trip, look forward to it.

[@park9912]

I felt the same way growing up, i still dont feel like i have a grasp on it but at 30 now ive finally got stability in my life financially and a long term relationship. Just those things greatly improved my overall mindset. I realize it will always be there but things like therapy, loved ones and family are great tools to help along the way.

[@dragunzonline]

I had my own fight with depression when I was younger, and it was running for me as well that pulled me out! I began running on a cross country team, and it completely transformed both my mind and body. 8 years later and I’m still running. It makes me really happy to see you putting forth this effort for charity. Hats off to you!

[@LandyVlad_Rides]

You may not be able to run away from your problems, but you've proved you can run your problems away. Well done.

[@sirperegrineblack]

I've been depressed as long as i can remember. Since i was around 13. Im 25 now. I reckon it all stems from bullying at school. Always hated my own voice and how i look due to that. Never had many friends. Been trying to save for a house deposit for years but can never save enough to do so especially in todays climate. Worked my arse off for a bachelors degree and got a job in that area afterwards. Didnt work out and now ive ended up working in a supermarket with people who have never bothered to get an education. Only comfort i have really is my hobbies. Love the outdoors and nature (which is why i love your channel) and unfortunately love junk food a little too much.

[@PseudoPolish]

You're so right about running, that thing is really helpful! At first, it's not really pleasant, you can't breath properly and that frustrates you. But then, you'll fall into some kind of deep mental trance, now you don't feel pain so badly, it feels like not running, but flying/sliding above the ground. It feels peaceful.

[@FlamingauraS]

It's amazing how close your story is compared to mine. I also started getting feelings of depression at 18-19 (for me it was university, living on my own which made it possible for me to do barely do anything), and caused me to feel like shit regularly for about 4 years. My overall mood went up already when I started a weight loss routine, in which I also did some home exercises and a lot of walking. But the biggest change for me was indeed when I started running, and started going to the gym. Now, I have not felt depressed for years, except sometimes when I pick up an injury and cannot exercise for a few weeks. Just last week I did a 50 mile walk, as you say, it hurts, it sucks, but as long as you know you can do it and persevere, you will be able to do it. The pain is just temporary, the achievement is forever! You will make this Tom!

[@RuffledFox]

I spent years not being able to function well. I am mostly out of it, still not perfect but things got really better, thank you for bringing attention to depression. Fortunatly I don't consider that I entirely "wasted" these years, I've learn a lot about myself, most that go through very hard depression tend to appreciate the good things better, it's weirdly sometimes a blessing in disguise. edit : I think your advice are good, but be careful as it doesn't work for everyone, some if they try a challenge it can make them go deeper, it depends if your depression let's you act and be active it's a great idea but if you struggle with fonctioning you can fail it and it will make you spiral more, it's a hard thing.

[@jeffanderson6499]

@GeoWizard I stumbled on your GeoDetective videos several months ago and got hooked. Next thing you know I got hooked on your geoguessr videos (so far none of this should be shocking since I've been a GIS Specialist / Manager / Chief of GIS for 25 years), and eventually your straight line missions, your how not to USA (greetings from Columbia, SC btw), and basically all things GeoWizard. Today (well now yesterday), I woke up and, as been the case every day for the last several years, I wished I hadn't. There is a litany of reasons why that are entirely different from any of the causes of your battle with depression, although their certainly were some overlaps that have reared their ugly head. However, the day was a bit different, and discernably more difficult to face and accept, is that it was my 50th birthday. I have been fortunate enough to spend a half century on this planet, yet I awoke on a day suited to celebrate such fortune, I couldn't help but not feel nothing but guilt, despondence, and everything that comes with the depression you well described. For whatever reason, when I went to find the next GeoWizard video to check out, today was the day that this was suggested. Listening to your earnest account of what you've gone through and what it felt like for you has provided me with the clarity and motivation to stop the cycle, and find the help I need. Thank you. If I'm ever in a position to help you with a mission, I will gladly do so. I mean I would have anyway because I love the missions and the channel, but now I'm even more likely to do whatever I can to, I don't know, find a hooker nun driving a yellow lambo with a trump sticker who will sell you a vehicle to get you to Florida and help you understand potential GEOID model setting or other projection issues that might affect your garmin and place your straight line mission in jeopardy

[@DominatorK5]

Really appreciate the sentiment behind your words Tom. As a 26 year old struggling to get a footing on work and a relationship after the last bizarro 2 years and falling into a pit of despair, it was nice to hear words of encouragement from you :') Keep up the incredible work and don't tire yourself out too much kicking that ball around ;)

[@jensjager7764]

The only thing better than watching this video is reading the comments. Thank you for touching so many people’s lives! All the best for your challenge(s).

[@Zkex]

I really needed this, thank you. I’ve been going through very similar mental problems these past few years. I’m glad mental awareness is becoming more and more talked about. Seriously thank you so much for this. It’s made me feel a lot better just knowing I’m not the only one dealing with this. We all can get through this!

[@boot_eeee9336]

Good luck brother, stay healthy, we are rooting for you!

[@Allenar4]

I'm pretty confident there are more than 100s of us watching who you resonate with. Definitely thousands of us. And Jeeze do I resonate with a lot of what you say.

[@finnmayhew5918]

Well done for doing this Tom! This is inspirational stuff and very important to talk about in todays society as it isn't mentioned enough. (I edited my earlier comment because it wasn't appropriate as I didn't get all the way through the video so my apologies). With anxiety, it's important to tell people and as you said, being able to deal with it and control the anxiety spikes when they come around is important. Also for me, getting outside is crucial as technology is my addiction which gives me anxiety and depression so to just get fresh air is the best. Good Luck with your journey and I believe in you!

[@dz33no]

You didnt even watch the video and youre commenting that? 🤣🤣🤣

[@jimmycodmw2]

@@dz33no 🤣

[@finnmayhew5918]

@@dz33no Ye my bad man

[@nicebelt4u]

Great to see people like you, people who talk about depression and other shit like that when they are doing other things, they have the voice, they can show us some good things. So thank you man

[@Rafutah]

Much respect for talking about this hard topic. To everyone going through this: it will get better, and you will get on top of things again. You got this

[@tomwest241]

Hi Tom, thanks for sharing. I had a very similar experience about a year ago. I struggled for a couple of years with health anxiety and bottled it up until a year ago when my daughter was born and I exploded and suffered from lots of intrusive thoughts. Since having CBT and being on antidepressants I’m better but nothing helped more than the people I loved around me like my wife, mum and my daughter. I can’t stress enough how important it is to talk to the people you love about how you feel and crying if you need to cry. This is partly why I don’t have things like Facebook anymore because I see how it can negatively effect your mental health because people create a false sense of absolute happiness which is completely artificial. Thanks again Tom, keep doing what you’re doing. This is my favourite channel on KZbin and I’ll happily donate. Good Luck 👍🏻

[@ryanosman6868]

Thank you Tom, your videos have been a great help to me personally over the past few years.

[@bennybrewer2066]

Hey Tom, I'm 22, about to be 23, and really relating to your description of your younger self. I feel like I'm in a very similar position to where you once were, and preparing myself to try a hard adventure of my own soon. I know exactly what it is, and I've been putting it off since I was 16 due to how much it scares me. I'm leaving this comment here as a reminder to myself, and as a thank you for the video. What you say about going through real adversity really resonates with me, and I know that it's something I have to seek out, but the reminder is very helpful. Thank you! -Benny

[@WRBhammer]

Thank you Tom. This is one of the most relatable videos I've ever watched. I went through a 12 month phase which sounds almost identical to what you did. From the negative thoughts and emotions, to the causes and cures. My marathon was your cycle to Budapest. Your park run was my gym journey. You have articulated the entire thing a lot better than I could have.

[@Dopamined]

You are smart, articulate, laidback and you make geography incredibly entertaining for millions of people. I am very happy for your success, and I completely agree with your perspective on depression. To each his struggle, but I have enormous respect for people willing to take risks and putting themselves out there, trying to better themselves or make a positive difference in our world. It's inspiring.

[@shux292]

All the charity's aside, just this talk has rung true to me I'm only just recently thrown myself into the fitness world and sober lifestyle from being depressed and drinking heavily. I'm still a long way from my goal but what you say is true and can feel myself improving everyday

[@GrahamSiggins]

The way you described your experience with depression was very relateable. I'm really impressed with your ability to describe it so well. Particularly the part about thinking you've gone mad forever. Was there, for a long time, absolutely horrible experience. But there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

[@bryanhenry6871]

Hey Tom, loved this video mate. There were so many parallels between our stories. Depression has been eating me alive since I was about 12 years old (am 21 now) and I thought nothing of it; anxiety and depression were mere cliches. But I finally hit rock bottom 2 years ago and sought therapy. I was doing nothing but binge eating and smoking dope, having negative and even suicidal thoughts. But therapy changed my life mate - being able to open up to another person facilitated my growth and allowed me to be much more intimate in all my relationships. I have my struggles every now and then (it probably will never go away) but the difference is that I now have the tools to handle them and grow from it. Like you, I guess I’m sort of a masochist in the way that I enjoy pain/sadness, because I know once I get on the other side I’ll feel so much better and be happy/optimistic for what’s to come next. Long ramble, but thank you for sharing your story! I know how hard that is to do :)

[@decipheringsv2967]

This video has made me want to get my life back on track. I’ve suffered with depression for 6 years or so and have been on and off on antidepressants for that period of time. I often find that the issue in getting help is that you get stuck in the mindset that I want to get better, but I tell myself that it CAN’T get better. But tomorrow I’m going to phone the doctor’s and start getting rid of this carcinogenic thing inside of me. Thankyou, Tom, I am going to feel better.

[@ronaldaraujo4465]

I've been really struggling with depression over the last 2 years and I want to thank you for doing this, I'll donate and wish you success!

[@balaclava351]

Just donated 50 quid. Good luck Tom. "A lot of talent and potential being wasted with every zoot that was sparked up". I felt that! Randy Marsh said it best - "Pot makes you feel fine with being bored. It's when you're bored that you should be learning some new skill or being creative. If you smoke pot, you may grow up to find out you're not good at anything ." For anyone that's suffering depression and smoking weed, your first and best step should be to cut it out. You can revisit it later when you're in a better place if you want. But for now, it's not doing you any favours!

[@MrHalf1000]

You're a great person for doing this man, mental health really is just the most important thing to keep in check and it can really destroy you if you don't. Keep it up, you're just awesome man, and I really appreciate you doing this for charity.

[@c_reid123]

This is such a similar story to mine that it's crazy. I have always had some problems with overthinking and social anxiety, this combined with underachievement and a bit of shame put me in a bad place mentally. I too packed my bags and went travelling around Europe when I was about 23. I didn't cycle but I did work-for-accommodation in different places. This was all new to me but I had no time to overthink anything and I had such an amazing time and met so many great people who I still think about today and the fun times we had. The positive effect on my mental health was amazing and all it took was a change in my environment. I realised that before this I was lacking self-esteem and putting myself down because I hadn't achieved the things I wanted up to that point. Doing different things and making new friends brought my internal thoughts closer to reality and boosted my self-worth. I also started the parkrun when I got home as well lol and loved beating my time every week because it was so satisfying and it was something positive to focus on. If anyone here has never tried running before I really recommend it, you don't have to go fast or put yourself through much pain really. After every jog I found that I would feel slightly better for the rest of the day. One reason is the physical endorphins, and I think the other is the satisfaction that you just did something that was worth it. If you really aren't a runner right now you can start with a combination of walking and light jogging, so something like walk 5 mins then jog 2 mins and repeat.

[@JG-mv4vs]

Much appreciation for you to speak out about your story. I’m 19 in a similar situation that you were in and I can certainly say this video is a huge help and gives me encouragement and hope.

[@oskaritanen4344]

Hi Tom, I have watched your videos for years now but I have never ever commented on any of them. In fact I have never even commented anything to any video on KZbin, but now I felt that I had to do it. You are easily the best KZbinr there is and I have always had fun watching your videos. Many times it has been the highlight of my day and brought a quick smile on my face in an otherwise terrible day. After saying all this it is probably already clear that I have been struggling myself with depressive thoughts for a while now and I am so grateful for your video and it makes me feel there is a way to live through it! For sure I am really grateful for my friends and my family that I have but I wish to be able to call you my friend as well. At least that is how I always feel watching your videos. A dream come through would be to meet you even once in my life and sit down for a beer. With that said, after struggling myself with similar depressive thoughts I will still make a donation. For you and your great work and for all the other people in need of help. Keep up the good work Tom and promise all of your followers that you will never ever change!

[@thickybeefy656]

I've been dealing with depression and suicidal tendencies for as long as I can remember, and it's stuff like this that makes me feel like I'm not alone, thank you

[@boot_eeee9336]

your're definitely not alone brother. love

[@zeatlohh7601]

I don’t often comment on videos, but I felt obligated to on this one. It felt a bit like you were narrating my life. The laziness, drugs, alcohol, and, most importantly, the circle of negativity and self-loathing. I turn 24 in September and have been planning a trip of my own, inspired by your videos - a year later than you, but not a year too late. Thank you for bringing light to these topics in such a casual manner, Tom. You’re as genuine as they come.

[@boot_eeee9336]

just started thinking about a trip of my own. would love to share thoughts.

[@LuciManca]

Tom you're so courageous, I'm really sorry to hear about your battle with mental health. And I think it's fantastic how you're raising money for something so extreme and worthy ❤️

[@jaredvec5737]

I think I’m similar to you Tom. I’m only 20 but I’ve been miserable since I was 17. I’m only 5 days sober from weed but I find happiness in going to the gym, playing basketball, and biking everyday until I’m sore all over. It’s making my life much mor enjoyable

[@morris_de]

Really strong of you to talk about this precarious topic. You're a legend! Keep going strong

[@alfiekershaw2946]

From just before the first lockdown, I smoked a zoot almost on a clockwork basis every night for around two years. Similarly i was 19, want(ed) to be a musician yet felt like an imposter and slowly but surely these intrusive thoughts developed, solidified and then spiralled into a weird fucking feedback loop of numbness and overthinking. takes a lot of courage to talk about, and this video really resonates with me. You're a top man, Tom.

[@moto_45__]

This channel alone has helped me though so much. I struggle daily with mental health issues, you're doing such good work here. I have a sort of similar experience with what I went though even, can't wait to see the series

[@RelivingBaseball]

I know exactly what you’re talking about. I experienced the same thing last year when I was 17. I thought it would get better bc I was talking to someone about it but it turns out I was talking to the wrong people. Just people that didn’t really understand what I was going through because they had never experienced anything like it. As soon as I found friends with similar scars as I had and was going through the same thing I was, it started to get better. It just takes one friendly, kind, thoughtful person that is willing to help for you to both get through it. And fortunately, there are tons of people out there that are willing to help you, and I don’t necessarily mean a therapist, for me it was someone from my very close friend group and I am forever grateful for them.

[@popjam7744]

Thanks for this Tom, I can really relate to thinking my life is pretty much over due to my mental illness, one which isn't even known by the majority of therapists, until I realised its patterns and how much it was controlling me. Fear of the unknown is just the worst. Glad you're doing better :)

[@c1tylimits]

Thankyou Tom for sharing your experiences. Top lad! And you'll be helping a lot of people haring this regardless!

[@tomtokeley7373]

hiya tom, i was one of the two lads that recognised you on our dofe last weekend by the via duct in derbyshire, i just wanted to say how much your words of encouragement helped us mentally and gave us motivation to keep pushing, good luck mate with your new mission

[@tinderbox218]

Long time depression sufferer here. Not continually but off and on for years at a time. Super important to pursue the things that do bring you calm and happiness, and I think you have that with this channel and especially with your physical outdoor challenges like the straight line missions, etc. It also brings you a community of like -minded people who care about you and are interested in what you're doing. You also serve as an inspiration for others when you persevere to do these things, whether you know it or not. ❤️👍

[@scottphillips2555]

19 and leaving school is such a shitty age man. Feeling lost and not knowing what to do with life is so natural… emotionally immature and unable to cope with so many feelings being stuck between adulthood and late adolescence. I had the exact same experience after my first lads holiday. In a complete dark hole. Things get better, and small pieces of the puzzle start to come together. As humans we do not have all the answers, and we never quite will, but keep pushing man one day at a time and think about what you have to your disposal, talk to people, think about how good you are, what you’ve achieved, what you can achieve. Life is not perfect. But do not beat yourself up, pick yourself up everyday and keep yourself busy. You are worth the world.

[@willacheson5682]

As a 19 year old who also recently got home from a 5 month lads holiday and just started uni, this really resonates with me. I'm doing good at the moment but there have been times lately where I've just been so unbelievably worried for the future and becoming an adult, addictions, work, intimacy etc. I've been getting a lot better but it's still very worrying and anxiety-inducing

[@scottphillips2555]

@@willacheson5682 you’ve got this mate. Perseverance is key and take one day at a time

[@TheProgaddict]

Depression lead me to running, which lead me to marathons, which lead me to ultra trail. And ultra trail gave me a job and love. And love gave me my now 6yo wonderfull daughter. It was a long and exhausting Journey, but definitely worth all the pain. Good luck dear wizard !

[@hardestgeezer]

Enter Newcastle dribbling a footy or dribbling in the back of an ambulance🤣 Thank you from me and everyone at the running charity this will make a massive difference! Let’s get after it💪

[@shaydore1561]

Thanks for sharing mate, I am 24 years old & your story is almost identical to myself. I am struggling daily but this gives me hope, all the best.

[@x_money_official]

Depression is like telling a blind person how beautiful the world is

[@turnatablefroglegbiscuit3533]

So true

[@MrJcalvino]

Nice quote

[@ForzaHorizon4u]

Never realised how much I needed to hear/see this video

[@vvvictoriav5958]

so much love and respect for this Tom. you're a top lad.

[@dadikkedude]

What beautiful meaningful hands-on charities. I might not be from Briton but I will check these charities out to maybe implement something like it in my own country. Used to be on drugs out on the streets, depressed, schizophrenic and now I'm a social worker to support those who walk in my old shoes now.

[@rohitchaoji]

Thanks Tom. I was in the same boat as you for a period of 6-7 years, starting age 17. I'm 30 now. I can relate to this. While I dealt with it in a different manner, the patterns were all the same. And like you said, the moment I was able to break out of those constantly feedbacking negative thoughts, its severity reduced. Like you, I still have that latent depression than can pop up, but I am definitely in a better place mentally now.

[@SquishyArt1]

I am so so proud and glad that you can speak about this openly, not just as someone with mental health issues, but as a guy. I find it so ssad that a lot of men feel they have to bottle or hide their feelings because its not "manly" to show emotion. Its so wrong. I fear my step dad has anxiety and depression but he just says everything is ok, it makes me worried. I have been recently (one month ago) diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. For 10 years (im 29) , I have been falsey diagnosed with depression because the doctors arent skilled enough to detect anything further. throw anti depressants at it, it will help. But antidepressants dont work with BPD... it angers me but its not their fault - theres not enough training in the NHS for mental health and that needs to change. Private therapy for BPD is £2000 a year, and not available on the NHS unless you are extremely suicidal/a danger to others, which im not, so I dont qualify.... its nuts. Thank you for doing what youre doing, love your channel and good luck with the walk!

[@starrattmaster]

Thank you so much for sharing this,I’m sure there are people watching this who really are down in the dumps, and in desperate need of some motivation and caring advise from a inspiration like yourself. I have Asperger’s myself, and really struggled with depression and anxiety for pretty much all my life until my mid 20’s, felt I had no control, certainly didn’t have a career or social life that brought me any joy, no parents either to support me. However ,I always had a passion for travel, and by my mid 20’s, I decided to stop making excuses and fulfill this passion . I also gained a mentor who worked on me and helped me believe in myself. I’m now in a job which I truly love and is bringing out the best in me.I’m now enjoying a amazing life, something I truly never thought I would get to experience. So I ask of you , push yourself, believe in your self, explore, and get off that phone and social media ! Just go for it , PLEASE ! You’ll never look back

[@TheSlobonmyknob]

I’m glad this channel is helping people beat depression, it has certainly beat me, good luck on the mission

[@glatzenhopper4655]

Hey Tom your channel in general has helped me through the years when I felt very bad dont ever stop what you are doing m8

[@robslann6618]

So sorry about Jim, Tom. My Dad lives in Aldridge and we couldn't believe it when the news broke there'd been a stabbing in the town centre. Massive respect for everything you do and raising awareness about these issues while continually challenging yourself. You do us all proud.

[@eileenjasonmalone5591]

Best of luck Tom, well done on speaking about your mental health, the more people that do this the better, especially men I think it's particularly hard for men to open up, lost my son to suicide in 2013, so I understand what it can do, as I say I wish you well, I would certainly cheer you on, but I live in Dublin 😁👍💚☘️💚☘️

[@jhNic]

Sorry

[@yanivcohen5506]

I.. I want to write so many words but I'm too stunned of how accurate and touching this was that I just can't. So I'll just thank you for now.

[@tommakesthings6249]

From one Tom to another: your videos have already supported me mentally more than you can know. Your straight line missions are perfect escapism and when I'm really struggling with school, I weasel myself away and rewatch one for the 50th time. It's so brave of you doing this new adventure and raising money, but I hope you know you've really already made a difference, and it won't just be to me.

[@hikinghistoryculture]

There is a good bothy to visit along the way Tom, Haugtongreen bothy along Hadrian's wall is a good stay. It's one of my favourite places to head out to when the depression starts kicking my ass. You're good man bringing awareness to mental health issues. Have a great trip.

[@tyr5119]

Brother, after watching your content for over three years, you have become one of the people I have tons of respect for. Everything you do, no matter if you fail or succeed, makes you a better person. Exactly what I strive for myself. Thank you and always keep going!

[@andreasilveiraj]

At my 28 years, I relate to the 19 year old Tom. Thank you for this video. This morning I woke up wanting to get over this depression valley I've been in the past weeks, and this is what I needed to hear. Thank you and good luck with your mission ✨💖

[@adampezzuolo5618]

~112 km, dribbling a ball across a country, in 24h I still think it's impossible but I really hope you can pull this off. Good luck mate ❤️

[@punkstjimmyF1]

24 hours is an estimate, it's not a time limit. He will just keep going until he gets it done. Even if he has to stop and sleep for a few hours, i'm sure he will get to the end eventually.

[@codycornell2212]

Some People can run that far in 6-7 hours. It’ll entirely depend on how hard the terrain is to manage with a soccer ball and how well he trained.

[@codycornell2212]

@@cmmartti yeah sure kicking a ball adds to the difficulty but I’m guessing a lot of Tom’s followers/subscribers aren’t familiar ultra running. He’s not doing it in a straight line. A lot will be on back roads.

[@Jeffers421]

Broo you have no idea how much YOU have helped me through my depression x

[@Jeffers421]

Ooh also the amynedd album helped me through a break up, by metaphorically straight line missioning away from the break up 😊