My Father Wants To Be In My Wedding Even Though He Said I'm Not His Family Years Ago r/Relationships

[@mattm314]

"to yell at me a month later when my mom stopped sending money" is crazy work

[@Zygmunt-Zen]

The bastard was pocketing it and subsidising his new family's vacations with it. Sounds like Mom & Stepdad were more financially successful and reason Mom sent money.

[@NessaEllenesse]

He spend the child support for OP on everyone but OP then made her work for everything she got. He called The ungrateful, disowned her and expected her mom to contine sending him money. That is a huge level of narcissist behavior.

[@madgevanness4011]

He should have expected the withheld funds: but the entitled never think through the consequences of their behavior.

[@Russman67]

"I want to fulfill a dream I've had since you were born." 🤦‍♀️🤦🤦‍♂️ Man, that dream died when he went to Disneyland without OP. There's no way around it. Dude chose to not have a daughter. Now suck it up and continue that energy.

[@marshawargo7238]

I wonder how he felt when he found out that most all rides at amusement parks are geared to even numbers & family's of 3 or 5 often have 1 person riding with a stranger or go solo😮!!! Jake "Geez it would have been nice if OP was here, we could have been team riders!"😂!!!

[@immapotato1]

​@@marshawargo7238it wasn't about family time it was about not paying for his free housekeeper (remember mom paid for everything)

[@sevenember3332]

@@immapotato1More like nanny he was paid to keep against his will while she worked exclusively for room and board

[@Hulahoopish]

It’s hilarious when parents seem to think you owe them for feeding you and putting a roof over your head. That is the bare minimum legal requirement. Any less and they can literally be arrested. You don’t deserve props for that.

[@ImaNerdANDaGeek]

I once saw a comment that phrased it as "Orphanages feed and clothe kids too, but no one assumes orphans have a great life."

[@valeriekhall]

And he actually SHOULD HAVE BEEN ARRESTED for leaving OP home alone, while he took his mistress-turned-wife & their son *out of state,* leaving a preteen home alone with no guardian or supervision IM THE SAME STATE, let alone under the same roof. And add separate charges for every single “family trip” for which she was left behind. She was a minor for ALL of those. That’s literally child abandonment!!!

[@ChrisA100]

Add to the fact he’s getting child support and threw a fit when he got cut off because *gasp* the child being supported wasn’t living with him anymore.

[@jojocandy2025]

I know right? And this ass didn't even do that!!

[@LittleGreenCar514]

​@@valeriekhallOP said that her father had a neighbor who would tell him if she had fruends over when his "family" went on trips without her. But he had to call to make sure she was home? I don't believe it. OP's dad lied to keep OP from showing people she was abandoned.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

Daddy’s offer sounds like a power play. He pays for the wedding so naturally he’ll feel entitled to “have his opinion” and impose whatever he wants on OP and her fiancé and threaten to cut off funding if they refuse. And then there’s the oh so generous offer to walk her down the aisle, just no. Too little too late to pretend to play the good dad angle.

[@jacobthomasjr.7884]

😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

Yeah, given his past track record, he's just trying to wreck things for OP and/or try to look good to extended family (a little too late for that).

[@teddennison344]

I'd have an easier time believing he's changed and has regrets if he hadn't started it off with a public passive-aggressive SM post.

[@samoanjoseph1457]

Didn’t even start with an apology, just assumed all was forgiven, the balls on this guy are planet sized

[@sxatcychan1988]

This is a terrible idea, but I would suggest doing a power play back. Invite the dad's family ONLY as guests and assigned them seating in the back for both the ceremony and reception. Heck, have a worker chaperone the father as well.

[@terramarini6880]

Can't give her away if you threw her away 10 years ago. Not how it works, dad. What's he going to do? Hand her off and tell the young man to treat her the way he did? No, just no.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

🎯

[@ISIIN15]

He just wanted to know how it felt to give her away again

[@MizMorgue1]

Teenagers together only cause trouble.....says the adult man that cheated on his wife, was cruel to his 1st child, THEN remained so entitled that he felt he deserves to be in said child's wedding. No, OP, u r NTA❤

[@robertnoble6661]

NO father would leave their daughter alone a son sure but not the daughter.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Cuz he was probably a LOT of trouble as a teen, seeing how much of a scumbag dad he grew into 😄

[@brookelynnwu8016]

@@robertnoble6661 ? Yet a lot seem to do the opposite.

[@brookelynnwu8016]

I think he just wants to hang around the wedding to polïce anything said about him. The stuff he did was literally emotional âbusë, and now the narc is terrifïed ppl will hear ab what he has done…

[@robertnoble6661]

@@brookelynnwu8016 A lot? you sure? a lot of father aren't in their childs life, I'd argue mothers abuse their kids more.

[@RG-vs8qz]

OP's bio dad treated her like dirt her entire life and then told her she's not a part of the family. OP should return that energy

[@tranquility1967]

How a man treats you on your birthday or the holidays is a direct reflection of what he actually feels about you period

[@jengibs]

Men can be so sh*tty when it comes to women making them food. My ex husband was military and complained that my southern comfort food cooking (I'm from Louisiana) made him "too fat" to pass his PT fitness test. However, he never went to the free gym on base and would always come home to sit on his butt for hours playing an mmorpg, and he expected me to make dinner and bring it to him at the computer instead of eating dinner with me. I started trying to make him healthier foods, but then he complained it was "too bland" or would have some other complaint. Chicken was too dry, etc etc. So finally I said, "I'm never cooking for you again". And I never did. I told him he was the one now responsible for his nutrition and weight loss, and it was up to him to pass his PT, not me. After that, he failed so often they kicked him out of the military and we finally divorced. The guy was just a walking red flag.

[@llcdrdndgrbd]

What a fool, had a sweet wife happily cooking and him delicious comfort food while he was gaming without even expecting a thanks and he ruined it. I hope his replacement if any is better.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Gosh, that's just stupid. Glad you divorced. My husband sometimes jokes that I make him fat too. And when I point out he's eating for three he changes his stance to: "cuz you cooked too good" and "it's the kid's fault for leaving leftovers" and "we can't leave leftover food, it's going to be bad." 🙄 Literally anything but taking responsibility for his own health. Meanwhile I lost 7 kilos on the same diet since January.

[@projectmicky1226]

This! Same happened to my ex husband. Except he didn’t drive, and so I couldn’t have a job because I had to drive him to and from places all day. Since I didn’t have a job, I didn’t have money. He only bought food he liked, and so while pregnant, I wasn’t allowed to eat. Glad my ex is my ex! Glad your ex is your ex! Edit: he was over weight, so I would have to pick him up midday and drive him to extra PT. He has an appointment? Had to pick him up and wait in the car. Morning PT? Yep. Me waking him up at 4AM for me to drive him there by 5AM

[@sevenember3332]

“Congrats! You get to go back to eating all your meals at the chow hall! Enjoy the mediocre at best food!”

[@AndyyWithAY]

So it's better to leave a 14 YO little girl home alone?? WTAF. The context really didn't matter. He said you weren't family. You're still not family nor friend why TF would he even be invited, let alone walk you down the aisle. The dad had TEN years to make amends, but he wants to hijack OP's huge life event. Ewww 🤮 Unless OP never told the mom anything, which is possible, I agree she sucks too. I'm not letting my baby stay home alone when everyone else is going on vacation

[@GiordanDiodato]

I mean I was home alone after school starting at 12 but never because my parents were on vacation.

[@christyclarissemercier6359]

​@GiordanDiodato I assume they weren't also on a different continent?

[@debl3063]

The crappy people always want to make amends at the abused people's special events. No. That's not make up time. Abusive person needs put effort in way before talk of an event or they wait until its done. Otherwise you're making the day ALL about you and what you want/need. Crappy dad gave OP away well before that wedding. He isn't family any more.

[@carterpitbull7366]

@@christyclarissemercier6359Yeah if OP had called the police any of the times they left her alone out of town/state/continent they literally would’ve been arrested for neglect/abandonment lmfao

[@valeriekhall]

AND STILL SHOULD BE!!!

[@reneewiley6928]

2nd story. Husband did nothing for his wife and was embarrassed so he acted like a jackass and belittled her.

[@valgardener7656]

Oh, good take!!!!

[@lux0rd01]

Absolutely had people being like "that cake looks great. Are you making dinner for her as a birthday present in exchange?" Or something so decided to make her look like the bad guy not him

[@KeitieKalopsia]

OHHH my god that suddenly makes so much sense now

[@pokepokefanfan]

@@lux0rd01 dude you are so right, when i heard the story the way he acted made no sense, but this explains his behavior

[@TwozySauce27]

This is a good take because I was thinking "he hadn't even had any of the cake yet" when he made that comment (unless I missed the timeline in the story). So how is he saying he hates it when that sounds like the first banana cake she's made for him and he hadn't even tasted it. I was so lost with that, but this makes sense.

[@bitter5644]

the animation of you placing poppy down is so cute!!

[@MochiTheAxolotl69]

Such a cute detail, took me a while to notice that, as I typically have these on the background, so don’t watch them!

[@nmarrero357]

Not gonna lie, I had to do a double take at your comment

[@bitter5644]

@@MochiTheAxolotl69 yes i only just noticed it like today lol! idk how i didnt earlier!

[@paulastiles5507]

Poppy is definitely having a moment this Halloween.

[@nutty77]

that sounds so wrong lol

[@ZomBeeQueeen]

Story 1: I would have called the cps/cops being left alone and abandoned But damn her mom and step dad had jobs that could easily be done anywhere and she was still left alone.

[@melosidhe779]

Right? My mother is a programmer and she has worked exclusively from home for years. What a bogus reason

[@66DoodleGal]

Story 1: “Sorry, you’re not my family and I’m not inviting a stranger to my wedding.”

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

I would've felt the need to answer "Who? My father is [stepdad]." Ten f---ing years later he's developed a conscience, I don't believe it for a second. One can only hope Karma's got a pot on the fire for this AH.

[@whitneybennett4857]

The correct response to him getting all pissy is, "What? I'm just going by what you said; a dad SHOULD be able to walk his daughter down the aisle, shouldn't he? Sperm donors don't count."

[@floraposteschild4184]

S1: What is bio dad's "pride"? Abusing and kicking out his daughter? Having an affair that broke his marriage?

[@sarahlyon157]

The way Mark gets mildly starry-eyed whenever cake is mentioned is one of my favorite things about listening to the channel. ❤

[@dimsufferer9951]

What the f is wrong with this man? Wait, nvm, I forgot about narcissism for a second

[@Clyde-S-Wilcox]

Let's be honest. He has no regrets. He's trying to weasel his way in because he realizes people will wonder why he wasn't invited and he's terrified OP will tell the truth.

[@ChrisA100]

@@Clyde-S-WilcoxChances are they already know the truth and for those that don’t won’t care about it.

[@kimberlyterasaki4843]

I like how this comment applies to both stories

[@carlrood4457]

Odds are good there's an older relative who'll be suspicious he won't be at OP's wedding and he't trying to save face for an inheritance of something. Even if he were sincere, a big event is not time to make amends. Life is what happens BETWEEN big events. I have two kids in college and want to give them space, so I'll send "On This Day" photos from their childhoods to show I'm always thinking of them.

[@test-kf2zv]

My thoughts exactly.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Yes. Zero effort until it might make them look bad or they stand to gain something.

[@teddennison344]

S2: Nothing I hate more than the "You should have known." argument.

[@shadamyandsonamylover]

I’m a little confused by the story tbh. If husband told wife that he did not like the cakes anymore, then yes it’s on the wife. Tbh it sounds like their communication is not great. I’m also one of those people who would rather someone ask me what I want than guess. It’s no fun to get something you don’t like, and it wastes their effort too.

[@teddennison344]

@@shadamyandsonamylover Still, you don't publicly 💩 on someone when they give you a gift. Just say "Thank you for getting this for me." and don't use it. Is that so hard?

[@shadamyandsonamylover]

@@teddennison344 I agree about the public thing. But if it’s your WIFE then yes - I think they should have known. But to your point, my grandma gets me tacky gifts all the time that i don’t use. But I don’t see her very often and she is currently on her death bed. I’ve always thanked her for the gifts and kept them all, even using some of them despite the tackiness. I just think that if you are married or dating someone long term, you really shouldnt be surprised with a gift you don’t like.

[@jaydee_0079]

I cannot help wondering if it is HER banana cake he does not like as opposed to banana cake in general, as he eats the one from the bakery. Add to that he said it has been so long since he ate hers I gather it is HER banana cake that was the issue.

[@teddennison344]

@shadamyandsonamylover If I make a coding change at work and it doesn't fix the problem, I don't have the luxury of sitting on my butt and whining that it "should have" worked, even though I want to every time. Obviously it didn't! I need to get to the bottom of the problem, not rail at the uncooperative universe like a brat.

[@fleurpouvior2967]

I was the teen that ended up living with a family member while my parents worked overseas. Can confirm, at 35, I still have and will never tell mom the extent of what happened in their 'care'. Kids, especially teens, are magnificent at hiding things from a parent who does not live in the house

[@Nicholem718-1]

My mother still doesn’t know how her sister abused my brother and me after my mother left us in her care. She was deeply disturbed when she told me that my aunt had terminal cancer and didn’t have much longer. I said something like “finally! I guess only the good die young.” I also told her that I’m so glad everyone knows better than to tell me about my aunt, and the REALLY know not to invite me to visit her. My mother looked deeply disturbed but if I told her everything we went through, it would really hurt her.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Also to parents in the house. I hid everything from mine about my autism, dysphoria and depression symptoms as a kid. They were dealing with their own problems so I guess I just grew up to keep it all in. Now that I have kids of my own and the proper diagnosis I can't wrap my head around the things that happened as a kid. I don't blame them, but I do focus extra much on the importance of being open with my kids and their mental wellbeing. My parents still don't believe I have autism btw, cuz they never saw it and "other people in the family have worse symptoms but are undiagnosed." 🤷

[@kaykay8855]

Story 1: I love how op said that their stepmom isn’t a bad stepparent but she never stood up for her about the vacations and her husband kicking op out.

[@floraposteschild4184]

Being weak is not being cruel, but it fulfills all its functions.

[@llcdrdndgrbd]

​@kaykay8855 the person you are responding to is agreeing with you. Speaking softly and acting sweet to someone while never actually defending them is basically enabling their abuse.

[@kaykay8855]

@@llcdrdndgrbd whoops

[@kaykay8855]

@@floraposteschild4184 sorry I misread your text, didn’t know you were agreeing with me

[@KCohere33]

How people can treat their kids like this I will never be able to understand. OPs sorry excuse for a father should live his whole life in shame.

[@MizMorgue1]

Stepmother too. Any adult that allows another adult to behave so horribly to a kid is just as vile as the abuser.

[@c.k.203]

Narcs and their enablers. Horrid bunch

[@PinkMarshmallows]

S2: OP's husband is an abusive piece of sh!t. He has been gaslighting her their entire relationship. He told her that she's trying to make herself feel like a victim because she feels like she's ugly and not good enough when they don't have sex. This was 3 years ago, and in that same year, he baby trapped her. And now, he's putting her down publicly. He's abusing her, and I'm worried for this OP. Edit: I'm being asked where I saw this. I made 2 comments to answer, but yt is a little bish and deleting them. I found the user name on re*dit and that is what I saw.

[@marsalwin5101]

That's using guilt tripping to coerce sex though. People aren't required to give you sex just because you are married.

[@PinkMarshmallows]

@@marsalwin5101 They weren't married at the time. They were bf and gf. It sounds worse than what I typed. Look the up the user name.

[@georgeprchal3924]

Where was that?

[@PinkMarshmallows]

@@georgeprchal3924 I explained it in a comment, but I guess yt hated what I said and deleted it. (hopefully this doesn't get deleted) I looked up the user name on re*dit, and that's what I found.

[@PurpleRanger12]

Story 1: The bio donor made his bed. Now he has to lay in it. I'm a bit of a petty person when it comes to people regretting how they've treated me and my family in the past. I thrive on the knowledge that the people who treated me and mine poorly will (likely) eventually feel guilt and I'll just let them live with that. They made their choices years ago, I'll make mine and we'll both have to live with them but at least I know I'll live with my choices knowing they were made as a response, not from misplaced entitlement.

[@brittalex42]

My family always got the vibe that my uncle's family looked down on us and their parenting choices. After watching how all of us and their kids have turned out, they are now much more keen to speak to us.

[@hothotheat3000]

He doesn’t care about OP, he just doesn’t want the embarrassment of not being there and being asked about why he’s not there. It’s ALL about him.

[@lina9535]

Honestly, I'm throwing shade on OP's mom for not taking OP with her when going abroad for work, or have OP stay at someone else's place. Because in my opinion, letting your child live in a home where they are abused like that, makes you almost as guilty as the abuser.

[@lina9535]

The dad's letter, I call absolute bs on

[@GiordanDiodato]

because dad exists and would probably fight it in court.

[@ineedhealing2420]

I'll play devil's advocate and say, maybe op never told their mom what's going on with dad? She could have just felt guilty after already being rejected by her father, so could have been scared her mother would do the same if her mom thought she was a bother. And that doesn't mean the mom is bad enough to be like that, it's just a bunch of complex emotions for a teen. And on top of everything else a teen in that scenario has to deal with like grades, friends that they wouldn't want to leave, changes in their own bodies, etc. And if op pushed everything down for an attempt at normalcy, then of course the mom wouldn't know if she was never told. Plus, op's first response to being kicked out probably wasn't telling her mom because she had to secure a safe place to stay + didn't want to trouble her mom. Her mom likely had so much going on herself and there's only so much info you can get being so far away from someone. Her mom isn't entirely innocent, but in this instance, op isn't either. Parents aren't mind readers and kids can become experts in secrets if they want/need.

[@nilianstroy]

Then you have to blame the daughter, as she literally stated that she never told mum about the abuse, she only told about the Disney incident and probably because she had no option.

[@Pyrieltmj]

And it’s not even like she had to move abroad as she had a coding job that could literally be done from anywhere with internet access. I call BS. Both OP’s bio parents suck.

[@BritInvLvr]

Story one. There have been other stories where a parent was horrible to the OPs, then expect to be one to walk down the aisle or make a speech. It’s not because they’re sorry, it’s because they want to be honored and acknowledged. They are the worst kind of narcissist.

[@MGP2210]

Story 01 is a reminder (for kids) to not hide your suffering from parents/elders/loved ones that could help.

[@HobieInTheBox]

Step mom IS a bad person. She cheated with a married man, knowingly or not, and proceeded to stay with him afterwards, so she eventually knew. She stays with him, knowing he abandons his own kid and excludes them from family trips. Submission is not an excuse unless that's some sugarcoated way of saying "ab*sed".

[@jenniferrichards2122]

S1, the fact that he still expected money even after he kicked OP out. The mom sucks too, no way should you leave your kid behind due to a job abroad. More like the bio dad doesn’t know how to respond to others why him snd daughter are not close. What a loser.

[@GBunnyG]

Story 2: I hate bananas. Flavor and actual. If someone hand made a banana cake for me from scratch, i would be blown away and eat the hell out of it. What a phallus.

[@graceisNERD]

Totally feel the same. If someone cooks or bakes me something, I always gratefully eat it, whether I particularly like it or not. But with this story, the thing is the husband apparently LOVES banana cake! That’s was baffles me.

[@18Hongo]

Oh, 100%. I'm lucky to have a mother who is a very talented baker, so I've had a homemade cake for every one of my birthdays. Occasionally, she has (as anyone might) made a mistake - an ingredient forgotten, or added at the wrong time... I cook a lot myself, so I know that it can happen to anyone. I have never, would never, agree with her assessment that "this one could have been better" when that happens. It doesn't matter if the mistake affected the taste (which it barely does). Someone made me a cake for my birthday - from scratch, mind you, and that makes me feel like the luckiest person in the world. Honestly, my mum could probably put down a still-raw disaster in front of me on my next birthday, and I'd still tell her it was delicious.

[@anonymouse9833]

Honestly, it's sad to me that OP has _two_ sets of not-great parents. It feels like one of those situations where one person is so awful that the other not-great person gets a pass because at least they're not as bad as the first guy...

[@Davtwan]

Story 2: you know how hard it is to bake a custom cake with two layers? Screw that guy.

[@LovesGaming37]

Fathers who only apologize because their daughter is getting married just showed the father doesn't freaking care

[@whitneybennett4857]

He obviously just wants the glory of being the Father of the Bride (and it'll also probably look pretty bad on him if his own daughter doesn't want him at her wedding).

[@lashunelillie9896]

I'm with Mark. Something doesn't sit right with me with the mom. My question was, did op talk to her mom about what was going on

[@Kinsfire]

I want to join the cult that's in your background for the videos! *laugh*

[@badkitty4922]

Right?! Little Miss Poppy as High Priestess summoning the Waffle god of plenty, fluffy, and warm.😉💖😂😂😂

[@marktwain2053]

1. NTA. He has some ulterior motive, and even if not, he doesn't deserve to be included in your life. He was the one who treated you like trash, kicked you out because you finally stood up to his BS, and now thinks he can worm his way back in? He doesn't even deserve an invitation, much less walking you down the isle.

[@EnDB]

For so many years, he showed OP and told her that she wasn't family. He left her at every opportunity. How dare he try to come back

[@Mewse1203]

Story 2: what the heck is he talking about?

[@nataliereeves3594]

Story 1: The bio dad is an awful person who op should not make a part of her life again, but the mom also sounds disinterested in op to the point of being cold. The step dad and sisters seem to care more about her than her bio parents. Story 2: My nan is like that. She complains we don't talk to her, but when we try she ither ignores us or cuts us off to talk about what's going on with her.

[@huinismith]

I kept thinking "Where was OP's mother when all that neglect was unfolding?" I'm not sure I understood from OP's explanation.

[@myrabeth77]

Yeah, that info was a little scattered and disorganized. Here's what i can make of it: Mom and Step Dad took on international work/studies for a few years, and weren't living stable enough lives for the needs of a teenager in a foreign land. (Step Dad was finishing his higher education and Mom was hopping from one lucrative job to another, with the goal of growing her kid's college fund.) So OP was put in the custody of Bio Dad while they were gone. OP chose to limit the amount of information her mother got about what life was like in Bio Dad's house, so Mom had no idea it had turned into a Cinderella situation. She only knew OP got left out of the Disney trip.

[@huinismith]

@@myrabeth77 Thanks!

[@littlemissdeadly24papyrus36]

He couldn't even invite you to *one* vacation. Therefore, he doesn't deserve an invitation from you to the most important day of your life!

[@JasperCatProductions]

Story 2 I’d be thrilled you baked me a cake…husband is an asshat. I wouldn’t cook him anything ever again. He can cook his own breakfast, lunch and dinner . Baking nope never…..

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Any cooking honestly. It takes a lot of time, care, effort and cleaning and it shows love. It's a lot of people's love language. I would be happy and grateful that someone cared enough to make the effort. I don't understand disrespecting someone who put in the effort and care. Anyone can buy already made food. Making it is showing you care. As is any other service of care like cleaning.

[@missmoxie9188]

This I believe is an example of someone wants the status of fatherhood, but not the responsibility

[@TsukiKageTora]

Even if I was a step parent, I would never allow my partner to treat their kid like that. I would never go on a family trip with my partner if they’re going to exclude their child.

[@GMAMEC]

Love it when Mark talks about food. He is so appreciative. I know several grandmothers who would love to make him a delicious meal, with a fabulous dessert. With his gracious comments, he’d never go hungry.

[@AngelaMerici12]

Story 1: Once in a while we get a good person called Mark 😅👍! Joke aside, I feel so bad for how OP was treated by her dad for no reason at all.

[@Zaddy-Lu]

Your dad having FOMO is NOT your responsibility

[@Keita999]

I currently got the cold from hell. Your videos, markee and lost genre are the only thing making it bearable thanks

[@elizabethwesson553]

Wafting Vicks your way. Hope you feel better soon. 😊

[@yesthatmousyiris4887]

Get well soon!

[@huinismith]

Get well!

[@valeriekhall]

I’m so glad it’s *just* a cold, & you don’t have COVID! (I hope, anyway.) Sending you healing, chicken soup & hot tea wishes!

[@BruinPhD2009]

​@@elizabethwesson553 Vick's VapoRub is the best! I love that smell. 😊

[@threeducks157]

Such a coincidence, my wife just baked her first cake today! Well… first eatable cake anyhow, she went from a hazard in the kitchen (not exaggerating she set 3 microwaves on fire and ruined a few pots and pans) to baking so proud of her and will always appreciate her cakes, it’s a strawberry shortcake and I ate the whole dang 5lbs of it lol.

[@melosidhe779]

Give her my congratulations! Cooking/ baking is hard so that's very impressive progress

[@milak1691]

Story 1: Both parents are horrible! Sure, the dad for obvious reasons, but the mom...? Even though she didn't know, she was still very absent from OP's life, and didn't even attend her high school graduation. I really hope OP will be happy and have a family of her own.

[@WhiteRoseNeko]

Okay, you phased into existence with Poppy, and the red background made Poppy's eyes look HELLISH red for a moment! Makes me laugh! It was great!

[@Voodoomaria]

Story #1 OP says her father seems genuine in his desire to reconcile. Just remember he ALSO "Seemed genuine" to OP's mother while he was cheating on her with another woman. Her father's three most used words are "I", "Me" "Mine". he cares NOTHING for OP and ONLY cares that someone else is getting "what should be his". Don't invite him to the wedding.

[@ruthlys]

Four words you should NEVER use with a loved one unless you know that you know that you know that THEY TRULY KNEW: “You should have known” Use with caution lest you destroy something special!

[@sarahkelly4026]

Story 2: my dad did this to my mom - twice they were divorced within a year. Too much disrespect and not enough gratitude.

[@WhatAudryEats]

“After I kicked you out I lived a normal life. Didn’t miss you or anything but just regretted it when I missed out on pictures” 😂😂😂😂

[@samoanjoseph1457]

Story 2: Serve him a big glass of milk, I bet he’ll learn to keep his mouth shut.

[@deppnut1]

Story 1, he doesn't care about her. He only wants to assert his perceived dominance. I would advise OP to ignore him and treat him like a stranger whose path she never crossed.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Cooking or baking for anyone is a labor of love and shouldn't be disrespected. He should have been left wearing that cake.

[@annabethsmith-kingsley2079]

2:53 story one, so far, is giving serious Cinderella vibes

[@gayleowens5057]

Wanting to pay for the wedding was just a carrot and the checks would have bounced.

[@TheAlphaDingo]

Just because you can make a child, doesn't make you a parent. Bio dad was a piece of excrement. Actions have consequences.

[@KevinA.Deckard-gm2he]

The notion of a flawless marriage or relationship is a myth. There's no set formula for success; what works for one couple may not work for another. Yet, I've discovered that there's always a way forward, even in the most challenging times. Five years ago, my wife and I encountered significant hurdles in our marriage that nearly led to divorce. Despite the adversity, we managed to weather the storm and emerge from it with our bond renewed and revitalised

[@MichelleJOleary]

There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I can't live without him, I love him so much. wish I can get him back I can do anything to have him back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

[@KevinA.Deckard-gm2he]

It's always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white

[@MichelleJOleary]

This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.

[@KevinA.Deckard-gm2he]

You won't regret it

[@AndyyWithAY]

I don't even like banana cake, I haven't had it in years. You lying liar who lies!! WTF do you mean? She brings you banana cake all the time. He publicly humiliated her. I wouldn't ever bake for him again. And this would definitely be 2 strikes. If there was already another strike or another was accumulated definitely divorce time

[@dimsufferer9951]

And when she said that his response was “Good”! Good?! Good?! What an arsehole

[@valeriekhall]

AND IT WAS HER BIRTHDAY, TOO!!!! Notice there’s exactly ZERO mention of anything he did for her, while she’s baking cakes specially for BOTH of them. Upsetting that there’s also zero mention of a SINGLE PERSON in that whole party standing up for her, either. Nasty, nasty work.

[@robertx8020]

@@valeriekhallNot true ..he gave her ONE thing.. The realisation that he is a POS! In the long run this could turn out to be a great present!

[@paulagoeringer9466]

All that effort and care to be disrespected in front of everyone? He'd be wearing that cake as a hat. Happy asshat day.😂

[@marktwain2053]

2. NTA. He could have told you that without the others there, it seems as though he wanted to humiliate you in front of family, my ex-wife just loved doing that.

[@kentario1610]

3:11 ok, two things: you can't make a child pay to live with you, their parent, and it quite literally was being paid through indentured service.

[@Tyanna01]

Story 2: I'd donate that cake to a local homeless shelter. Don't let him have a single crumb. I'd also never bake for him again, and I'd also never buy another banana cake. Take him at his word.

[@1Katakana]

Story 1: "He said I no longer was his family". He never saw OP as family to begin with!, considering the free babysitter/maid duties he dropped on her, and the exclution from FAMILY trips because "I want to go with my FAMILY", and THREW HER OUT (and stood by that choice afterwards!)! But now!, now this sperm donor has the gall to call OP and go "Oh hi! So, when's the wedding? Looking forward to it", thinking he automatically gets the freaking credit to be at the spot that's meant as an honor for the father, and act as if nothing! has ever happened between them?! Freaking laughable! His "pride" kept him from making things right, and yet he thinks he gets to have a spot, an honorary spot on top of it!, in an event meant to show off OP and celebrate what she has achived in life romance wice. Wow! Just wow.

[@teacat55]

You wouldn’t give dog back to a man that kicked it out of the family. Shut the door and nail it secure.

[@jrod1591]

That really sucks for OP.. But also, your mom abandoned you. She couldn’t take you abroad? She couldn’t find a job in your county? Sorry… the whole “we wanted to set up for college.” Cool. Childhood trauma and a life filled with constant anxiety and depression. For college that she could have taken a loan out for anyway.

[@BulletTooth504]

Story 1: OP should tell her sperm donor, "This is MY party, but you can cry if you want to."

[@candypettynettie487]

S1- op's mom is not off the hook here. She let hwr daughter be treated like shit all that time.

[@rene280195]

S1: Op´s dad is a bad person TBH, I wouldn´t want to have him at that wedding or life in general.

[@kentario1610]

Dad: I'm going to take my family to Disneyland OP, his daughter: thats amazing, I'm so excited! Dad: no, I mean _my family_ Like man. You can't do that and just expect to be forgiven before even admitting it was wrong.

[@hannahdavis5725]

The petty side of me thinks OP should send bio-dad a picture of Edna Krabapple going "HA!" in response.

[@aileencastaneda3724]

The animation of you putting Poppy down is something I didn’t know I needed ❤

[@greendiamondglow]

OP's mom sucks, too. I get it's difficult to move a child abroad and put them in a whole new schools system, but she left OP with a man who didn't care about her. Just because OP didn't tell her mom EVERYTHING, doesn't mean mom is absolved. That Disney trip would've been enough for me if that was my kid. At least enough for me to ask my child a LOT of questions, and to ask her father a LOT of questions. If OP isn't mad at her, fine, but it looks to me like OP was failed by BOTH parents.

[@natnuss98]

I love the cute little animation with Poppy. I think I first saw it yesterday? It's beautiful

[@WolfyFancyLads]

"His pride held him back and he always wanted to apologize and reach out!" Lemme translate that for you: "Shit. My reject is actually successful and earning good cash. OH! I ALWAYS LOVED YOU!" [implied fingers crossed behind back]

[@Zaddy-Lu]

Please keep your animation of you sitting Poppy down 😁 it's ADORABLE!!

[@StaubAufDenKnochen]

Story 1, yeah seems like biodad only pretended to feel sorry because of appearances.

[@HC_Productions_UK]

I reconnected with my Mother many years after my parent's divorce. One of the first questions she asked was, "Whats your step Mum going to do when you get married?" I asked her what she meant.. she said " Well, the parents of the bride sit at the top table, where's she going to sit?" Needless to say we're no longer in contact, not because of this but many many... many other such instances.

[@wildridegaming]

Cake.. I can think of 4 reasons: 1. Im wondering if its a quality snob thing. The cake from the bakery, professionally made, well presented, smooth texture. Homemade, more rustic looking, bit more rough texture. 2. Doesnt like a fuss made over his bday, some people just think that after a certain age they dont need a cake as its childish. Men mostly get like this as they accept their lot in life and get annoyed when something pierces through that veil of stoic negativity, like a happy bday. 3. Parents were there and they wouldnt get him cake? So he said that as more a "Why would you do this I never eat cake" because mum/dad wouldve got on his case for eating cake. 4. Didnt trust the cake was lactose free? TBH this one I dunno, because unless your putting custom orders to the bakery that cake is likely going to contain eggs and milk. Still with all those reasons he couldve said why when after the party you asked him.

[@pikachu7572]

2:15 Yeah this story is making me angry

[@ginger_snapped_]

FINALLY A GOOD MARK IN A STORY

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

Hey always nice to have a good Mark in the stories! :)

[@ArcaneNim]

It's always nice to see an wonderful Mark.

[@jaredstar]

The mother sounds almost as bad as the father,

[@GiordanDiodato]

how?

[@Obiwantuan]

I felt that way at first too but when i realized OP had to move in with her dad when she started high school, I sort of get it. If mom had taken her, she would of had to finish high school learning a new language. OP probably had no idea her father would treat her that way, still, hard to not come back and take her if i knew about her treatment.

[@Kimberly-pi8my]

​@@GiordanDiodatobecause the shit mother knew she was being left out and still didn't move her to her location.

[@nilianstroy]

According to op, the mother had no clue about the extent of it because she kept silent. So blaming the mother is objectively wrong.

[@valeriekhall]

OP said the only incident she told her Mom about was the Disney incident. But that “only incident” still involved- ABANDONING HIS UNDERAGE CHILD. FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK. IN A DIFFERENT STATE. I’d have flown back *immediately,* because WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ABANDONED MY UNDERAGE CHILD?!?!

[@georgeprchal3924]

I'm confused, does he or doesn't he like cake? Also he's over 12 so he's too old to need a birthday party.

[@hoper1294]

Omg the detail of you letting down Poppy! Too cute!!!!!

[@RainStrom_61]

Story 1. Mom sending money for OP but dad didn't have money for OP on trips.. Now OP knows where the money went.

[@NoOne-fo1di]

S1- dont sugar coat your feelings about the dad Mark, tell us what you really think about him. Love to poppy

[@hilarymurray8741]

First story : NTA at all OP. You should only have people round you at your wedding that make you feel happy, and your bio father is not one of them. His excuse for wanting to reconnect does not explain all that parentifying of you as an unpaid babysitter with Jake and how you were always left out of 'family' occasions, not to mention his throwing you out. He says it was only seeing you at graduation (i.e. a potential source of money supply) that he now wants to reconnect. You know him for what he really is. You do not want your marriage and any future children to have anything to do with what you really know him to be like. I advise you to keep well away from him Don't take any of his money or gifts and have security at your wedding venue, in case of gatecrashers. Good luck, OP.

[@nilianstroy]

I love how a lot of people either commented before watching the entire video, or skipped parts of it... lol

[@charliesangel1]

My thought is if he said you are no longer part of his family then he doesn't get any rights or privileges of being a parent and that includes walking you down the isle or being a guest at your wedding baby announcements.

[@messinalyle4030]

Man, that yearning in Mark's voice when he talked about wanting some banana cake was downright poignant!

[@jackspring7709]

That's no father. OP owes him even less than nothing. The fact that he even wants to be at the wedding shows what a brass neck he has. I agree with Mark,'though: the mother doesn't completely smell of roses here, either.

[@mysticmoone7659]

18:51 man, if i were op in story 2 aka the birthday cake story, since the husband sounds like a big a*hole, I'd sweetly tell him "since you didn't like the cake i made you for your birthday, i got you this to make up for it" and sit by to see the look on his face when he opens the prettiest box with the best wrapping ever to discover divorce papers. I know it's extreme (and petty as all hell) but he sounds like a huge jerk! He lied to belittle his wife, after she went to all that effort, including taking his lactose intolerance into account, didn't do anything for her birthday (other than lie to try to publicly humiliate her!) And on top of that is always complaining how she doesn't make a homemade cake for their kids! I don't want to make assumptions and call him abusive, but he at the very least sounds like a terrible partner! Shelfish, ungrateful, lair.

[@ambiava123]

The daughter was, and still is, a reminder of something that her father left in the past. Her mom. He taught her in so many ways to not connect with him on an emotional level. So OP is quite right in making it very clear to him....'Yeah, thanks for COMING. I do wish you all the best in life 😊'. Then go on with her life. After all, he taught her well 🤗.

[@KSangel180]

I wouldn't have held back if my Hubby did that to me. I'd say you know where you can shove that cake right?

[@eldeano9964]

S1: Shouldn't have responded at all. Nothing a narcissist hates more than being ignored. That, and sarcasm.