My favourite ADHD analogy

[@wilting.leaves]

honestly contemplating sending this to my dad

[@babie_frog]

do it. does he not understand what it’s like having adhd?

[@wilting.leaves]

@@babie_frog well I haven't really told him I have adhd, and he probably doesn't know how it works other than "can't sit still"

[@gruntythefinestwench]

God I go through this all the fucking time you have no idea lol

[@phunkybarbie]

SAME! This is a great metaphor and my parents need to hear it!

[@hottest_moomoo_aghase3105]

Go for it, my friend!

[@Kronman590]

This feels like an analogy for any disability at all not just adhd

[@thatbroad5848]

Yes, but at least for adults others don’t consider it a disability, they consider it an excuse… it’s invisible to others so easy to be dismissed as we apparently just never grew up…🙄😅 just smile. They don’t get it, nor will they.

[@Charlotte-wx4jz]

I was just about to say this. I’ve had multiple brain surgeries and this is the best analogy of my life I’ve ever heard! I’m definitely using this!

[@ChaoticAngelKitten]

@AnaPie896we definitely built the world wrong… >,>

[@AxerMacGyvers5256]

Yep, I’m deaf and this is pretty accurate. With an implant it’s like having a bag with holes in it. Without it, it feels like I have to hold really heavy and big marbles in my shirt. Yeah, and I have a lot of mental disorders, but I’m living. I’m trying to. So-

[@phoenixgate007]

I’m convinced ADHD is actually a form of ASD but since we’re still just beginning to understand them both we haven’t identified it as such yet.

[@KatirineA]

I have autism, and not adhd, but I still really resonate with this explanation for why life is harder, and I can’t do all the things I want to

[@lindaward3156]

they're very close. something like 70% of people with autism have ADHD

[@emilykennett9103]

​@@lindaward3156 wish someone would tell my medication manager that

[@videocliplover]

I HAVE BOTH!

[@loveroflife1438]

O ya my buddy has autism too I definitely think this applies to both

[@countessk]

And a great majority of symptoms overlap with ADHD and Autism.

[@biblio_nosleep]

This is one of the most thorough explanations of “invisible disabilities” I’ve ever seen 12/10

[@baskahalpa]

I've been diagnosed at, 51 years old, that I have PTSD and ADHD, all my life has been a daily struggle, thanks to you I started researching myself, and now I'm starting to understand. Every single day has been hard. The marbles..... I'm still not medicated. Those marbles. They're everywhere.

[@andie3131]

I’m 50 and just got a diagnose 2weeks ago. I’m waiting on the pharmacy for a non stimulant medication that I have to wait another two weeks to see if my body handles it AND THEN get a therapeutic dose…🤞🤞🤞

[@christopherj9744]

Same here. Vyvance (lisdexamphetamine) for adhd and Luvox (sertraline) for the depression PTSD is finally the winning combo for me. And by winning I mean I'm not back to me or able to work, but I can be alive and enjoy care about people again. 😃 And YES learning everything you can makes a huge difference.

[@baejay798]

If you haven't already found her channel, Jessica McCabe with her How To ADHD channel is amazing and has helped me so much with keeping track of the marbles. (I'm not medicated). She also has a book now called How to ADHD and it is quick, easy to read, and well structured for our brains!

[@brendajones7301]

Also try taking supplements -( not synthetic) natural vitamins and minerals. Medications may fix the symptoms but at the expense of something else. Now you need another prescription and it goes on because you are also aging and have declining this and that -

[@wackywishes4ever]

@@brendajones7301which do you recommend ?

[@dannip9188]

I love how she explains ADHD is such a clear way!

[@elisejustis6215]

I sincerely wish for all the billions of people on this planet to hear this analogy

[@laurenvassilico4778]

Same

[@jms0313]

Why? This is a fake disease. People who think they have ADHD are just irresponsible and immature

[@fixafix69]

It's ok, you'll forget about this an hour after you see it and then and then go do any other dumb as hell thing. Heck it's been 3 months, who know how much shit you managed to call extremely important and then forget forever half an hour later

[@LeviLL1666]

​@@fixafix69 Fuck yeah, I've returned to this God damn video after 7 months, don't compare your dementia to us.

[@BlueTheShifter]

And masking basically feels like telling people "oh no, I have the bag! It's there I was just clumsy." Or covering the holes telling the people around you that your bag is the same as their, however it takes a lot of energy and focus to do that and you end up being way more stressed than normal at least for me.

[@butterbee_bb]

Or like you can carry all your marbles because you’ve organized them in a neat pyramid but it’s exhausting to walk around with that because anything could make the pyramid collapse

[@heyna1185]

And then you spend so much energy on convincing people that your bag is fine that you can‘t even take care of the marbles anymore

[@lyaneris]

​@@heyna1185And then one spills while you're still trying to convince everyone and yourself that you are carrying a perfectly fine bag. This leads to a trail of marbles slowly collapsing the way you have covered the holes until it gives way and then you neither have the illusion of a bag nor the marbles. Alternatively you take breaks to repair the bag, during which time you can't carry the marbles and have the same problems as before.

[@juancena1259]

Oi the pretending you have a bag got me 😮😢

[@vivi-ws9yl]

I always genuinely wonder what life must be like when you don't have to pretend like you're somebody else in order to be socially acceptable

[@whatamelonhead4498]

I love you so much, as a person with severe ADHD I often get called annoying and made to feel like a burden to be around when I'm just being myself, and the way you explain different symptoms is so amazing and really seems to make it much easier for people without ADHD to understand

[@Booklover25-l1c]

I can relate because I have ADHD and most of the time people think I'm lazy and don't want to do work when in reality I do care it's just hard. Ps I love this comment❤

[@davidking8903]

You still have to make an effort.

[@MichaelBrewick]

​@@davidking8903 make the effort to feel bad about it?

[@islixxn]

@@davidking8903it’s kinda crazy how u born lucky and choose to be unlikeable. Life wasted

[@inotaarto8719]

Probably more like to take charge and responsibility of your feature. It can be easy to become a victim of this. When if properly used it is a supper power. After getting diagnosed at 30 and getting meds, i was able to become a ceo and run a small farm as a hobby. I just tell my coworkers and business partners that i have adhd, how it affects my way of working and that it is ok if they have to remind me if i forget something. But when i get in the zone i can do more in less time than 3 normal people.

[@IamPapaShaw]

I’ve been waiting decades for a succinct and on-point explanation of how ADHD feels. I’m saving this to share with others at appropriate times. YOU ARE AWESOME.

[@Janne_Mai]

With some medication you also just get to rent a bag in the morning and have to give it back in the afternoon!

[@FedUpAndVoting]

Yes!

[@Jirangaaa]

Me rn

[@charleyfittraining]

Yess!

[@mainly_marvel]

😭

[@2riaVic]

If it works!

[@oliver1492]

I like explaining it with this phone analogy bc everyone has one and knows how annoying that imessage “ding” sound is, even if you don’t have an iPhone. Imagine your brain is a phone, and every notification you get is a new thought, stimulus, smth you see or hear etc. People without ADHD can CHOOSE whether they want to pick up the phone and read the notification. They can also ignore certain notifications all together using do not disturb or silent mode. Having ADHD means you pick up the phone every single time it rings, for every notification, no matter what it is. And if you get a new notification while reading an earlier one, you switch to the newer one automatically. Our brains are basically constantly getting new notifications that we can’t ignore or prioritize so eventually it all becomes this huge overwhelming heap of stuff to attend to

[@IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS]

THIS!!!

[@janenerbeaner1673]

Yes!!!!

[@LeorioIsGonsRealDad]

BRO WHY IS THIS GENIUS

[@butterbee_bb]

And also sometimes there are those notifications you didn’t get to read but the annoying red dot is there.

[@LeorioIsGonsRealDad]

Oooh or imagine like some of them you HAVE to read out loud to everyone you know no matter what

[@ohkaygoplay]

*sobbing* Thank you! And then soon you realize that no matter how hard you try to carry all the marbles, it's never going to matter, so you stop trying. Because what's the point if the double/triple effort you put in to doing the same things someone else can do will never be recognized and be good enough? My whole life: "I'm trying REALLY HARD to do this." Them: "Then why can't you do it?" Me: "I DON'T KNOW!" *Screaming, crying, throwing up.*

[@crweirdo8961]

This! 100% You are not alone.

[@hobgoblin4614]

I think for many, speaking for myself here, there is a eureka moment. You get to the moment where you realize you're different than "normal" people but you also have some amazing characteristics and qualities. You may not be able to carry and balance the 100 marbles but the 50-60-70 you have are pretty cool. You know way more about them than many who have the full 100. Some of them are even collector magic marbles that give you special powers (i.e. hyperfocus, fixed interests, etc.). Then you realize you are awesome and its just not about the 100 marbles but how awesome yours are and people who can't accept that just aren't worth it. Then you realize you, as the marble carrier, are awesome and that is why it is worth it to learn to accept that we may not have all, spill some etc. and to get the awesomeness of the cool marbles we do have it's worth working without the ones we don't, finding work arounds, etc. We are all awesome and so are our marbles. Even if we don't have a complete set and/or can't keep in all neat and organized in a perfect looking pouch. We (ALL) got this!

[@uncleval1250]

Your words resonate & I can vividly replay every instance someone's ever said that to me. Wish I had internet years ago to realize I'm not that different

[@hobgoblin4614]

@@uncleval1250 SAME!

[@maddieb.4282]

The tumblr style way you wrote this was so funny

[@kpopcoverfan]

Thanks for this, because even though I have very caring family members, I think they forget that no matter how hard I try to be on the same playing field as them when it comes to cleaning, organization, remembering things, etc., they only see where I’ve messed up

[@tiffparz8749]

The frustrations that mine feel about me are legit, which is bad enough. But what’s worse is how it creates a “negative feedback loop” in my mind. Even when I am able to maintain a positive attitude, self-image, or some hope for progress, there is nothing, NOTHING, that will derail those personal “wins” faster than a criticism-loaded comment from a loved one. You know, the ones like: “how are you going to be able to manage (insert task here) when you can’t even accomplish the smallest tasks ?”. Implying, if not including, old favorites like: “everybody else can do it”, or “that’s life”, or “you never change”, or “I’ve had it !”. So, I understand their frustration with me, and appreciate the patience they do manage, but I am so exhausted by the constant need to explain myself / justify my shortcomings. I feel the constant need to defend myself, even in response to comments that are relatively benign. I sound like I’m always making one excuse after another (which I HATE), and can never find that sweet spot where their capacity for understanding matches my constant effort to just exist. The “small things” I used to be able to manage (paying bills on time, doing anything on time, completing any task, taking care of my house, self-care, buying groceries, etc etc) have become absolutely overwhelming. I’m 53 yrs old and can’t keep up with my 85 year old mom. Unsurprisingly, that just seems utterly pathetic and weak-minded to anyone I haven’t already pushed away. Isolation, or disappointment are increasingly the only two outcomes I have. Or both. Usually both. Yet I persist … and we must ! ✌️to others who find themselves in the same boat.

[@Potterhead-jv3cq]

watching your videos have made me feel so much less alone with my ADHD

[@debragrimm2253]

I have never seen a more simple or beautiful exclamation of Adhd. I have not been diagnosed, but this totally describes what I believe is adult ADD, and your video lifted me this morning!!

[@sanityassassin8161]

Same here!-What fun, eh? 😂 A diagnosis and treatment probably would have MASSIVELY changed my life for the better. 😢 ...And so that of my wife, as well. How she has put up with me all these 36 years, I'll never know... (SHE'S the one in THERAPY!) But proper diagnosis and treatment for adults can be hard to find, isn’t covered by insurance, and is VERY expensive $$$! I'll be 66 in a few weeks and I no longer care...kinda 😕. But it would certainly make my wife's life better...

[@dear.ambelina]

I'm literally in tears. This is so accurate. Thank you so much for making people like us feel seen and heard.

[@ThallanarRabidtooth]

As a person with ADHD, my biggest pet peeve is someone asking me “So what did you do today?” I’ll usually just shrug and say “I don’t know” because I can’t recall anything in particular, with how overloaded my brain is. I can’t even remember what I did yesterday or what I ate. This is why I have to keep important dates marked down on my calendar or else it disappears from my brain.

[@ozok17]

yeah, or i remember one random thing, and people assume it's the most important or that i chose it on purpose for some reason. or i remember a thing, and another thing, and... pretty soon i've listed every 2-minute task i did that day, and gone en in detail about the first half of one of the dozes rabbit-holes i also fell down... yeah that question is a minefield.

[@perpetualsick]

I legit have to have lists of my friends, my hobbies, everything!! It sounds dumb or like memory issues, but it’s not. It simply goes ^poof^ if I don’t.

[@Respectable_Username]

In my line of work, it's a common thing to have a daily "stand up" meeting where the whole team gets together in the morning to say what they did yesterday, what they're planning to do today, and if they've got any blockers. Trying to remember what I did yesterday was such a struggle! And even just being able to talk to my boss about what I did over the last week. Which is extra hard when you're being pulled in 50 different directions and not just working on the one thing that's technically your focus for the current time. Made me feel like crap for not getting anything done. When complaining about it to a friend, they suggested actually keeping notes of what I did every day. And so I did, physically placing the notebook between my keyboard and the edge of the desk, and doing my best to remember to joy down _every_ useful thing I did that day. Was a happy surprise to actually see it all laid out, all the times I'd helped somebody else figure out a problem of theirs or jumped in to fix a small issue or checking in on the resource usage of the product our team builds and poking the right people if they're letting the numbers go too high. Turns out, I actually do a lot each week, even if it's not on my main task! But I had to write it down in the notebook to realise it

[@expectingnewlife]

​@@Respectable_Username I had a very similar scenario with a job I was on for over 10 years. What I ended up having to do was create a table I could print out where I could keep track of my tasks in 15 minute blocks because there was so much that I was doing everyday helping so many people in my office. My monthly reports used to have a list of maybe a dozen major projects and I was getting challenged about not working enough. After I started using that 15 minute tracking, my monthly report turned into two pages of two columns in small type font! But because there are so many quick turnaround tasks that I don't need to remember after they're done, it seemed like I wasn't doing much because I couldn't remember any of them. This tracking helped me so much to recognize that I was indeed as busy as I felt that I was everyday and prove it to my bosses.

[@Mushy2024]

Same same same

[@JonathanParsons24]

if we were all praised and respected for the 1 amazing thing we bring to the table instead of 100 mediocre things, we would have a pretty amazing society.

[@jessicaspain5005]

I like this cause we rlly ARE amazing! The amount of effort we put into what we do and the capability we display despite no fricken bag is so striking and impressive, and should be recognized more often.

[@Puuws]

watch out as selfpity is a gate to pride and entitelement. You arnt entiteled to anything, just have compassion and humility

[@islixxn]

@@Puuwslow iq

[@Puuws]

@@islixxn please seeing yiue effort as striking and impressive and feeling that should be recognised more is super entiteled and pridefull. Its extremely normal to try and do your best not to be consistent and reliable. of course have compassion for yourself but why expect applausje and pity from others?

[@MiriamMillen]

Thank you so much for addressing the medication issue! People assume that once you take the medication, everything will be fine, but that could not be further from the truth. It's also difficult on the person with ADHD who is frustrated that they're on medication and they still struggle so much. Ugh.

[@ohkayveronika1503]

Yes!!! So true

[@shannansmith2188]

THIS!!

[@HarshMelon]

I actually have the reputation of being super organized. But that's because of all my coping mechanisms to keep me from dropping the marbles. Like I have the blue marbles in my left hip pocket. And the yellow marbles are in my right hip pocket. And then I have the Aggies of a certain size shoved into my left sock and the clearies of a different size shoved in my right sock. Everybody thinks I know exactly where everything is, but I'm just trying to hold on to my marbles.

[@kalieris]

Very well put. This description is true for me as well.

[@ozok17]

some people seem to think i'm super-organised while others seem to see me as totally chaotic. i feel like i'm three kids in a trenchcoat pretending to adult. i can fool some of the people, some of the time, and it's exhausting. i don't have an insecurity disorder: i have an insecurity-causing situation.

[@unclemick-synths]

​@@ozok17that's another good analogy.

[@katrinaoliver4167]

I have adhd and I NEVER miss a bill. Legend has it that non-adhd’ers can also do this…WITHOUT AUTOPAY

[@MsJoyce31202]

You made a way to know where things are. Creative.

[@ArtandSoulbyOlivia]

Giving new meaning to lost some marbles lol but I completely agree with this analogy ❤

[@elvinwisp]

​@@Hollywoodbearluvmine are probably in the fridge or something..

[@lambentlamprey]

I put them in a safe place. They're in the house somewhere.

[@Booklover25-l1c]

This is exactly how my life is thank you for posting about ADHD it really helps

[@wolfgoddess15]

Thanks for this post! I’m having issues with work and getting criticized for taking so long to learn stuff. This helped me feel better

[@rgfs71]

My favourite analogy is that our minds are as different as our physique. Having an ADHD mind is like being an acrobat in a world of long-distance runners. We’re just as fit and strong, just not built for the same thing. While they are happy to jog along the road more travelled, we just can’t keep up. But where they are happy to run around an obstacle we see an opportunity to jump, climb, and parkour our way to the destination and, from our vantage point, find a better route for the runners to follow.

[@dln97]

I like your analogy a lot better

[@ozok17]

i want to figure out what i'm good at. or, maybe even moreso, what to work at that i can *become* good at. not sure how to pursue that. maybe i have "too much" of a "fixed mindset", but i think there probably really are some things i could get better at than other things.

[@rgfs71]

@@ozok17 I hope you figure it out. Take your time and be forgiving to yourself on the way. The hard part is that we tend to overlook what we’re good at precisely BECAUSE we are good at it. If it comes easy, you probably won’t notice… but others will. Pay attention to what other’s appreciate you doing or a skill you take for granted that they envy. Don’t fool yourself by diminishing your effort. A naturally skilled dancer will say “Everyone can dance, you just move to the music!”, but those with no rhythm know this is a superpower they do not possess and moving to the music is likely to hurt someone.

[@Soprano1638]

I love it!

[@jeb197]

Ohmygosh i love this so much it made me cry, this describes me both literally and figuratively !

[@metrorailinlosangelesprodu4407]

You broke it down perfectly. This makes me sad because people don’t know and understand how hard ADHD really is . Good Video

[@bryede]

I've often used the analogy that I don't have a shelf to put thoughts on. If it leaves my immediate grasp, it may never come back and I'll be called thoughtless, inconsiderate, disorganized. I don't know how many times I've had the terror of remembering something I was in the middle of dealing with a week ago. Watching channels that deal with ADD has helped me figure myself out a lot.

[@inotaarto8719]

A good thing for me was to be open about this feature to my coworkers. Helps them to understand and not feel bad about needing to nudge me or remind me of stuff. Its a superpower when harnessed

[@captainzork6109]

Like a cat!

[@josjosdafin2383]

I was dianosed with ADHD when i was 7 years old and i never wanted to ask for more time on tests or a quiet work space for better focus bc it always felt like people would think i used my diagnosis as a way of having it easier in school but since i started watching your videos i better understand how to still be productive and work hard

[@courtneyreynolds2395]

Omgosh... I believe that's the best explanation of adhd and my life I've ever heard. Thank you for all ur amazing videos.. they really help so much.

[@blueeyedbatman]

You are honestly one of the most intelligent people I've come across. You have helped SO many more people than you realize, including myself. ❤ Most ADHDers are used to not being understood and most aren't able to properly word how they feel/think in the way that you do.

[@Rachel-id8tt]

I have dyspraxia, not ADHD and this still really really resonated. I'm pretty sure any neurospicy tone would feel this. Xx

[@tkiesailastname4656]

This just reminds me of every time I complete a task, all anyone ever points out is the stuff I didn't do

[@nickynisbet6247]

This explanation is so helpful xx

[@yorie_loom]

Thank you SOO much you make me feel less alone and more appreciated, I have ADD. Even tho I’m not as hyper I still get distracted a lot and it’s very hard for me.

[@jeb197]

Me too!!

[@dollclique8616]

So accurate. I am currently hating myself because right now I feel stifled with 10000 thoughts going around my head I can't take it anymore i just cant.

[@Yellow_The_Nerd]

This is a really good way to explain adhd. For me it’s like I have my marbles in a plate. It’s easier than no bag, but it’s still hard, because the marbles keep rolling off the plate. And when I take meds it’s like having a bowl that’s too small; there are some marbles that won’t fall out, but some of them are on top, and fall off even more easily.

[@souldancersbyjennifer]

Good analogy

[@BrainPlusBlender]

When people give me crap for being I’m late I am very tempted to tell them “It’s a miracle I made it at all.”

[@jdstaley3710]

Brilliant analogy!

[@jessierav3rpokehollow108]

You have such a vibrant and lovely energy! Stay true ❤

[@jimwilliams3816]

A handful of marbles is EXACTLY the metaphor I used for my working memory issues: without meds, I felt like each piece of information was a marble, and my hands kept getting too full and they'd all go flying. I did not understand working memory until my assessor explained it. People hear memory and think "you forget stuff" like picking up milk, but working memory is like RAM: if you need to be able to hold several ideas in your head while you work with them, and if you keep losing the pieces, you can't do a calculation on, say, should you go to dinner, and if so where, at what time and with whom? Not only is it hard to function if you can't juggle those parts, you get really frustrated and exhausted.

[@ThallanarRabidtooth]

This explains why I forget even the simplest things. I’ll go to the store to get 1 thing and I absolutely need it (coffee creamer for example) and on my shopping trip I’ll get a bunch of extra things, and walk out without getting the one thing I absolutely needed.

[@audreydoyle5268]

Yeah, it's like running on the best graphics card money can buy, but with 4GB RAM, while everyone else has just standard graphics with 16GB RAM.

[@jimwilliams3816]

@audreydoyle5268 LOL, I almost included a numerical example like that, and I was thinking of using like 128K of RAM. I’m showing my age... 😂

[@unclemick-synths]

​@@jimwilliams3816 RAM is a great analogy. The stack too - we keep Pushing stuff on the FILO (to do lists) but can never Pop them off quick enough and we're constantly in a stack overflow situation.

[@job5098]

Yeah, and then you have an overwhelm/meltdown/shutdown/whatever situation when your RAM's full. But you also can't stop new things being added to it, nor can you concentrate for long enough to get things done and put it off the list.

[@karanaki_3256]

My nana isn’t happy I didn’t go to college. I still want to go but if I try to do it like everyone else I’ll drown in the water. I need to get my laundry, hygiene, and cleaning habits SOLIDLY and REPETITIVELY down before I can even consider moving to a different environment.

[@SoHDrxy]

Please do more about medicated vs unmedicated ADHD!!! I seldomly see any content about it! I for sure thought that when I took meds I would just be "normal" but I quickly learned that's not the case and my ADHD is only suppressed but still slips out every once in a while!

[@jaydeepaquette1022]

Olivia, thank you. This is a FANTASTICALLY accurate analogy.

[@highlonesome7482]

You nailed it.....😊 As a sufferer who is self diagnosed and has never been medicated, it's a constant battle. And very frustrating for loved ones who don't understand 😅 ADHD also has many comorbidities...such as anxiety, OCD, and depression....all of which I also suffer from. Aside from that, I am high functioning 49 year old with a great job, a beautiful family and so much to be thankful for. I'll just keep searching for that magic button. Prayers and love to all who are suffering. You are not alone.

[@Chloe11118]

Thank you. I love your videos they help me understand my daughter and what she goes through. She’s ten and she advocates for herself. Sometimes she has to flat out tell me what she’s struggling with in the moment and it helps me reset and be more patient and understanding. Every time you post a video like this it’s a reminder for me to let her be herself and be more gentle with her ❤

[@hobgoblin4614]

Your daughter is super lucky. I got diagnosed with ADHD & Autism mid-life. My mom and sister do not believe I have ADHD. I have struggled my entire life. My Mom's response is you don't have ADHD you have a job. What she doesn't realize is I have had 11 of them. When the hyperfocus runs out so does the job. I was taken advantage of in more jobs and abused in more social situations by narcissists than I can count. Got on medication and although it is not perfect it is helping. Your daughter is super lucky that neurodivergence is recognized and a lot more accepted these days. When I went to school we were just thrown into special education vs. having specific ADHD treatments and accommodations. The big thing is your daughter can tell you what is happening and you can help her. You are not always going to be able to be with her 24X7 but when she is able to tell you she is able to help develop solutions to her problems and even ask for help when necessary and that is awesome. That is what life is really about and also what parenting should be about - teaching your kid to do the right thing not because the parent tells them it is but because it is right and learning problem solving and life accommodations. By empowering your daughter you are also enabling her to recognize narcissism and other people with toxic traits and safeguard herself against toxic people. Congrats Mom! You're doing an awesome job!

[@audreydoyle5268]

​@@hobgoblin4614 I think the autism has more to do with falling prey to narcissists... Being less likely to pick up on social cues, you're less likely to work out the manipulation until like 6 months into the relationship/partnership.

[@hobgoblin4614]

@@audreydoyle5268 totally agree. I did not know which way was up. I was totally lost, over empathetic and over shared and got totally taken advantage of for the better part of a decade by a toxic, narcissist "friend". I pick up faster now after that horrible experience but still struggle.

[@ozok17]

@@hobgoblin4614it sucks that "over-sharing" (openness, honesty, directness) is seen as, and can cause, problems. like how "over-thinking" is blamed, when i'm pretty sure that it's an important coping mechanism and not itself a problem. like, removing accommodations doesn't make the need for them evaporate.

[@hobgoblin4614]

@@ozok17 agree. The problem with the oversharing is if you come into contact with narcissists they have a tendency to use info they gathered against you and to use you.

[@Torika2724]

Oh my god this is the most perfect way to explain anything ever. Thank you so much!

[@Sabrina-sc1db]

This is also how I feel about my depression

[@Niiopii]

Great way to explain how it is with meds, it's not a complete fixer. Love this analogy.

[@randallsmerna384]

Brilliantly said!

[@astafohns]

I didnt understand All the trouble having ADHD but now i understand thank you so much

[@alittlepieceofearth]

The thing about the meds is that while they might help you to focus, they can't change your wiring or teach you skills like organization.

[@stellajacobson231]

This is an amazingway of describing it, thank you so much for always being able to put these things into words!

[@froggyman3191]

This is the best explanation I have heard👌👌👌

[@kenbehren6119]

You are the best You Tuber on ADHD. Your clear and concise explanations with examples, have really helped me to understand my son's challenges. I am so happy I stumbled across your channel. Thank you.

[@xanitajobe5920]

Yes 🙌🏻 thank you, finally a good analogy that makes sense 😅

[@tessarudolph2536]

“But no matter how INCREDIBLE it is that you can carry 50 out of the 100 marbles without a bag, the only thing people with a bag see is that you can only carry 50, while everyone else can carry 100 Man that cut deep 😔 I always wish that people would be proud of everything I DID DO, rather than whatever I didn’t. Like if I get a 80 on a test, I wish people would congratulate me on getting 80 PERCENT of the entire test right, rather than focusing on the 20 percent I couldn’t do. 😕

[@hobgoblin4614]

You just summed up my entire childhood. Eventually you have a eurkea moment and learn to accept your awesomeness. For me it was when I was diagnosed with ADHD and Autism as a middle aged adult. Don't worry - you got this!

[@ChlomeRendia]

I failed 7th grade. My middle school gpa was 0.5. So, when I had a 2.8 by junior year in high school, that was incredible for me. When I got a 3.8 my senior year and it brought my overall gpa up to 3.0, I felt like a damn superhero. I always got frustrated at how others seemed to get As so easily, when it was so hard for me, but at least I still got through school, even college, though that took a lot longer than 4 years. I am lucky that my parents did view it as it being a great job for me, whether I got As or Cs. They knew that I was trying my best, so they were proud of me and encouraged me.

[@hobgoblin4614]

@@ChlomeRendia you are super lucky to have supportive parents like that. In junior high I butted heads with my math teacher. She put me in remedial math (which I did not need to be in). She then thew me in regular math and told me to swim or sink. I stopped paying attention because I hated it so much and I did not know it at the time but I had ADHD and autism. I got made fun of and was bullied on the daily. My dad set up a meeting with the math teacher and she told him I did nothing. He kicked the shit out of me for about six months. Six of the most horrible months of my life. My grades in all my other courses were pristine. He was to stupid to realize it was the teacher and other issues and not me as a person. High school math was pretty rough to, but the teacher was good. My problem was not paying attention because of what happened in 8th grade. My last semester of my Sophomore year I started paying attention. Thurs out I figured it out. Brought back stunning grades but it was to late to bring my overall grade up and I ended up with a D. I went to summer school but that went to fast. My piece of shit dad then stuck me in remedial math. Two years later I went to Junior College. One of the first classes I took was Algebra. I paid attention, did my homework, and got a B in the class. I learned with my dad and shitty junior high math teacher could not teach me for three years in about six months because I was uninterrupted, in hyper focus, and not getting yelled and berated by my dad and picked and bullied by other students. Your parents sound super awesome and supportive - you are lucky to have them!

[@ChlomeRendia]

@hobgoblin4614 I am grateful every day for my parents. It breaks my heart hearing stories like yours, so I try to be an adult that my students know cares and believes in them, no matter what. I want them to know that someone cares.

[@coldfusionacura]

You are an international treasure.

[@brianleegraf2794]

That is one of the best descriptions of ADHD I have ever heard hands down outstanding!.. But then you also make a point it's a lack of not having a bag not necessarily something wrong with you... medications put the hole in the bag.... trust me I've had some episodes that are monumental.... but now I live in Missouri where pots legal and I can go to the pot store and smoke pot when I'm tripping or whatever and get jazzy and make music and art and f*** the medical world, look what they tried to do that I can't talk about

[@choppersghost5439]

THAT is absolutely brilliant !!! Such an apt description in easily understood detail 👏👏 Borrowing to help me explain😌 Love your work miss🤗🙏🙌

[@emajaneee]

the most painful thing i’ve ever been told by my own father as a child (before i found out i had adhd) was “you’re so smart when you try.” this affected me a lot because no matter how proud of myself i was or how much i tried keeping up with school, it still wasn’t enough. it hurt even more because me nor nobody else in my life knew what was “wrong” with me. now i have trouble with knowing wether i’m trying as hard as i can or not.

[@Imwantedinmanycountries-_-]

Yeah whenever I actually end up being able to do any of my work people are happy for me and seem so much more... supportive in a way.. but like any normal day were I don't end up being able to finish my work, clean my room etc, they say I'm not trying and "when you actually try what you do is good.." I'm not sure whether I have ADHD but I am swaying on a very thin line between being autistic or not... and no one ever will seem to understand except when they're like me... hope that you're much happier to this day.

[@rosamariafernandezz]

i feel this. i have fnd not adhd but it effects you mind and gives you adhd-like symptoms. school has been so hard because i used to be top of my math, science, and language classes but now i cant focus unless im doing 2 things at once and i feel so stupid. everyone thinks i’m faking it because there was a time when i didn’t have it but just because i got these symptoms 4 months ago doesn’t mean they’re not real.

[@ozok17]

oh interesting. this in my first time hearing of Functional Neurological Disorder. thanks for sharing, and yeah that sounds stressful. good luck!

[@tris5602]

Just a note for AFAB people with ADHD. You're not crazy: your meds are less effective during hormonal spikes throughout your cycle. My doctors didn't mention anything about this when I started my meds, but I definitely notice a difference, especially the week before it starts.

[@stardewofpyrrhia4381]

Say it louder for the people in the back! ❤

[@kyladarger3363]

Needed this thank you

[@KillerDoh]

Doctors have to go through medical school, how tf do they not know this?

[@aubrey7226]

Why is this such a perfect explanation?

[@natachamusser]

Thank you ❤. Happy Valentine's Day everyone ❤❤❤

[@bohba13]

ADHD is having to work twice as hard to do half of the work.

[@IwannatrywithKat]

I think my bag has a hole and it's been getting bigger with the years...

[@ArtsyMegz_On_Etsy]

Oh man, I can't stand it when people think that if I just start going on another pill, it will turn me into a perfect person (because it seems that, whenever I tell somebody that I struggle with something, or if they see me cry for the first time in 7 months, I need to go on another medication so that I don't do that anymore 🤦). It gives me the impression that if I tell them about any small struggle I have, I should take a pill, to make me become more like them. It gives me the impression that I need to be perfect, and so I avoid a lot of people so that I can stop hearing it all. I know that I am never going to be perfect, and therefore so-and-so will never be satisfied with me just being me, so why bother hanging out with them? And how do many people say to me, "Well why can't you handle this or that?" And if I tell them why, they often assume that I must be unhappy and want them to fix it, when in reality, I am simply just answering their question and don't want their help, because they don't know the complexity of my issues, they're not a psychologist, and things aren't just a simple fix (I feel invalidated when people think that they are). I mean, there are certain things that I know can only be changed and improved to an extent, and that extent is usually not enough for people (but I am happy and accepted that my best is good enough, and don't need people reminding me that I am not enough). As an autistic person, I am never going to stop being sensitive to sound, I will get burned out faster than the average person, and I doubt that a pill is going to stop me from thinking literally (but I am okay with that).

[@ozok17]

yeah. even if (when) the pills do help some, the very fact of being on them causes problems. like with other accommodations... if you have crutches or glasses with you today, some people ask why you are still having difficulty keeping up with the hiking group (or eventually just don't want to even go hiking with them) or why you can't see the minuscule details in perfect focus that are so plainly obvious to them. ...and sometimes they don't actually want to know why, they're just trying to be (or, act) curious to improve upon (or cover up) their irritation. so, it's nice when someone is genuinely curious for a change, but also doubt-inducing, because sometimes people are really good at pretending for a while, or even being curious for a little while until they get tired of it. anyhow sorry for the tangent.

[@ozok17]

oh yeah and also... the fact that dealing with acquiring and taking and keeping track of pills costs effort, often of the same types that are already in such limited supply in the first place, which costs are often invisible to people for whom those sorts of effort are rarely or never limiting factors in their abilities. and the benefits from taking pills doesn't necessarily cover even those costs. by analogy, it's like working a minimum-wage job (without benefits nor job security) that starts before the buses run in the morning so you have to pay for a taxi, and that ends early enough that they don't have to give you a lunch break, so you end up basically paying to work there. and it's physically demanding and the other people (co-workers, supers) are unpleasant and don't want to be there. but hey, it's a job, right? right??... sigh.

[@ArtsyMegz_On_Etsy]

@@ozok17 No, don't be sorry for going on a tangent. Because I have been more frustrated than ever during this past year, with trying to figure out why people fake being interested in what we have to say (and I am saying that they fake interest because they hardly ever seem to listen to the answer you give them). I have had people ask me the same questions 8 or 10 times, but sometimes on the 10th time they finally already remember the answer that I am going to give them, and were just asking so that they could give me a come-back after I explain again. And so, yet again it shows how much they understand (or don't understand) about Autism, for that matter. But, I am glad that you brought up crutches; because medication is like crutches. It's not going to cure you; it just gives you something that helps to prop you up, while you are still able to feel the struggle, but not quite as bad. And your explanation about working at jobs is how I felt at 6 out of the 7 jobs that I have had. And I have had jobs where if you DO get a break, you still have to be on standby and help customers if they need it, because places will have you working by yourself for your last 3 hours. I can't handle that type of nonsense anymore, and I hope that I won't have to ever again. 😶

[@ozok17]

@@ArtsyMegz_On_Etsyglad to hear that my thoughts resonated with yours, and also, sorry to hear that, because, like, shared pain is still pain. :-/

[@mikemerrillcomposer]

I feel validated af right now. Thank you!

[@christineashby4003]

Wow wow wow! This is hands-down the BEST explanation I have ever heard!!!!

[@fluffbuck3t]

I actually prefer to be unmedicated. while I have very severe adhd and struggle a lot especially with traditional employment, but the meds completely killed my creativity and personality. i tried many different medications throughout childhood and none of them helped me focus without removing a part of who I am. Im sure it works for some or even possibly most people, bit not for me

[@Photo0021]

Also considering staying unmedicated for this reason. I lose my creativity and I lose my excitement towards most things I typically enjoy. Instead of being passionate about something and dreading another thing, everything just becomes "okay I can do this, okay I have to do this". At least for the time being, while I still live with family that actively helps me in an environment that works for my unmedicated ADHD. Might take meds once I'm self dependant.

[@anakinlowground5515]

I feel the exact same way. Yeah, when I was medicated, I was far more productive and focused, but I felt like while the meds were active, they killed, it hid away a part of me that made me, me. Now, I’ve only tried a couple of medications, Vyanse and this medication called Focalin, and while I didn’t really feel any effects when I took Vyvanse, focalin completely dulled out my personality. I hated taking the focalin for that reason. I felt like it was physically impossible for me to be myself when it was active. I do wonder though if all medications would make me feel like that, and am currently wondering if I should try going on meds again.

[@jimwilliams3816]

I'm on very low dose (quarters of IR), probably partly for this reason. It's proving enough to give my prefrontal cortex a fighting chance against my limbic and sympathetic nervous systems, though it's not enough for me to be able to work that well. I take it on non-work days too and those days feel increasingly like a sane person with somewhat better impulse control. I think I'd like to take more on work days, but I have a feeling I may never be able to. (I'm also on one non-stimulant ADHD med.) I've heard inklings on other channels that stimulants suppress emotions, and this was certainly my experience when I was on Bupropion (antidepressant sometimes used for ADHD, similar mechanistic properties) for several months prior to my assessment. There I couldn't split tabs, so even a minimum dose made me feel emotionally dead. On super low doses of dextro I sometimes feel a bit emotionally suppressed, but mostly it feels like it's taken enough edge off my overwrought ADHD emotions for me to be able to live with my feelings. Lately I've had some emotions that were substantial but didn't completely overwhelm me. It was a new experience. The stuff works different for everyone, and it's a personal decision, but I think in some cases a problem is the official doses are set too high for many.

[@IamSlacker]

Medications have different effects on people of different ages, what didn't work for you as a child might be awesome as an adult and vice versa. Try it again and see if it helps you now.

[@fluffbuck3t]

@@anakinlowground5515 focalin was the WORST I hated that one the most

[@randytracy1742]

Good analogy-wish some people would see it and understand you better! 😮😮😮

[@shrinkquit]

Superb description! I will be sharing it with my 2 kids with ADHD. Thanks 😊

[@zuyingovea757]

This explained my life in words. I feel so understood. ❤

[@kellyscott6361]

THANK YOU for putting words to my thoughts - I hope this helps many people understand a bit of what it’s like ❤️❤️❤️

[@shaimaferchichi1946]

You could never explain it better, thank you ❤❤❤

[@user-agreement-disengaged]

Great analogy as always. Your videos really help me put into words how I feel about a lot mentally/emotionally. I appreciate you for raising awareness & offering a bit of guidance to a better understanding for the people with ADHD as well as the people around them. Thanks for the insight.

[@BoMwarriorVlog]

Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you. 🙏 And thank you. ❤️ Very well put, and concise.

[@oliviachipperfield6029]

Wonderful analogy! Thank you!!❤❤❤❤

[@SilentThundersnow]

That's how I've felt my whole life. Such a good analogy!

[@Gambit-Lobo]

This is such a good way to explain what I deal with as someone with ADHD. Thank you for this. 🙏🏽💯

[@michaelmontgomery727]

I like your analogy. Creatively illustrative.

[@theSimpleCatholicMan]

God bless u dear. Both my boys have this and I need to learn to have more understanding.

[@Creepy_Gecko]

This is a perfect analogy for a lot of people ADHD and other differences alike, thank you

[@user-bro0921]

Perfectly explained 😭❤️

[@SneksSlayy-ep1fj]

Perfect explanation.

[@princesspearlthumb]

Thank you.

[@theemilya7732]

This is incredibly insightful 😊

[@SophiaB.0519]

This is a FANTASTIC analogy omg

[@violette80]

Amazing analogy! Thank you for putting my daily struggles into simple words!

[@jleelove]

This. I was diagnosed at 9, and am still learning at 33 to give myself grace and celebrate small wins. Today is a great example! Every Xmas eve I have my brother's and my husband's brothers and parents and kids here for a big party. It's like 30 people. Hosting parties has always been a massive struggle for me because there are too many moving parts, and my time management skills are rough and it's a lot of stimulation, which always resulted in me becoming completely overwhelmed and getting black out drunk to deal with the anxiety and then being totally burned out. This year I kept to a set schedule, planned everything way in advance, kept the cooking simple and adopted the "whatever it will be, just let it be" mentality and I can honestly say I'm ready for the crowd that's going to be here in a few hours. Such a simple thing, but I'm so proud of myself ❤

[@aceydaisy8252]

I love this. Im definitely going to use this one.

[@Mattnoble80]

Oh my goodness, that is the best analogy I have ever heard…it makes me feel better, thank you!!!

[@otto3225]

Best explanation.

[@nath1284]

Thank you 🙏 ❤️ 🦋

[@chiphill4856]

Thank you so much, young lady! I'm an aging GenX'r with Adult ADHD. It never gets easy. Keep up the great work educating those with bags! ✌🏼

[@EquineHorses_official]

Thank you this makes it alot easier to explain

[@agilemonk6305]

Nicely stated young lady. ❤

[@Beautiful_Hope]

This is the most perfect analogy I’ve heard yet. Thank you! Also, I love the way you says “baygs”. 😄♥️

[@Berrygirl12]

Omg this is how I feel everyday thank you for making me understand how to describe it