My girlfriend questioned my sexuality, and that sent me into therapy.” -Frank Itom

Frank “Itom” says he had guys sliding into his DMs, and so his girlfriend began to attack him for being gay. It messed up his mind and identity so much, he had to go into therapy.
What did he discover about himself in therapy?
What did he discover about why, unlike his friends, he “didn’t like to sleep around”?
And what did he discover about himself and his gifts when he quit his corporate job in the midst of Covid to become this delightful content creator and dancer that brings joy to so many hearts?
Plus: how exactly did that viral video with Funke Akindele completely change the game for him and his career?
This was such a brilliant conversation. Go watch now!
Watch the full episode here: watch.withchude.com"watch.withchude.com
Listen to the full podcast here: listen.withchude.com
Buy #TheDailyJoy book here: shop.withchude.com
Donate to the work here: partner.withchude.com
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#WithChude is a special series of targeted multimedia (video, audio, text, event) conversations and investigations that leverage the voice, network and passion of its host, Chude Jideonwo and his interviews, to underline issues, raise consciousness and spark movements; especially in Africa and for Africans.
#WithChude has been revolutionary at the forefront of issues around sexual abuse, depression, HIV/AIDs, diversity, shame amongst others, and continues to break new ground - holding space, sharing grace, and calling in.
Focused on narratives that enable and strengthen the mind (mental health), heart (emotional health) and spirit (spiritual health), its themes center on empathy, compassion, mindfulness, wellness, happiness, love, joy and food for the soul.
Beyond inspiration, beyond motivation, this is about connection.
#WithChude is a project of Joy, Inc.
#MindHeartSpirit
#LetsBeHumanTogether

[@kiv_daniels]

There’s nothing wrong with not sleeping around, sometimes it’s our upbringing (don’t go and get any girl pregnant o), our mindset & self discipline (I need to get my career and finances right) and fear of God. It’s sad that sleeping around has become the norm that that disciplined people are feeling like the black sheep.

[@lizzybens]

It's really scary for me just thinking about how some people can make sleeping around stylish and attractive

[@marvellousigu106]

Like people marketing the wrong thing because it's so popular or everyone is doing it

[@oma7698]

The movie industry glorifies and normalises sexual promiscuity and sex without commitment. One-night stands and waking up from a drunken night out in a strange bed feature in almost every movie now. It is systematic programming. Now, we have people who have grown up in this zeitgeist and think it is the normal way to live, and that sexually discerning people are dysfunctional. One has to consciously resist this programming to escape its power.

[@JulietChiamakaIke]

There’s everything wrong with sleeping around, stop saying trash just to make you look cool…. You actually aren’t

[@kiv_daniels]

@@JulietChiamakaIke Is this one okay? or you don’t understand English, read the comment again. You lack comprehension skills.

[@Asianimabong8573]

Guy to guy affection is not homosexuality. It's brotherhood

[@tanitambi7223]

Story

[@ccanft]

I thought I was the only one ❤

[@thatomokoena3173]

Like!!!! Louder!!

[@josepho.8317]

Not according to the toxic masculinity podcasts flying around which are affecting the way men think

[@tdad8683]

I love this guy's SINCERITY. He just mentioned what most guys are DEALING WITH. Kudos to him 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

[@QueenDavidCreative]

You’re set apart that’s why you don’t like to sleep around, but the world doesn’t see it that way and then you try to fit in to be like everyone else. It happened to me. Hang in there ❤

[@marthangafor6414]

He was in an emotionally abusive relationship. Glad it's over.

[@user-nx4vc6ef5x]

Thank you for sharing this.😊

[@Stephan__ox.]

The enemy will try to steal your identity first & question who you are

[@KalambaMusic]

Which enemy ? 😂

[@nomsoedy1332]

​@@KalambaMusice reach to ask ohh

[@nelsonalozie6656]

This is one thing many guys struggle with including me because of people’s projection. Thank you for sharing your experience. At a time in my life I can’t buy things for people and buy for a guy because people will read meaning into it.

[@ccanft]

Thank you ❤. People are finally saying it.

[@VanSheGoes]

❤ Thank you for your honesty, stay true to your Creator

[@fiveloavesandtwofishes]

healing is not that automatic. take it easy my bro

[@nomsoedy1332]

Funny enough, people will misinterprete this guys story and think he fought being gay and make it look as if being gay is a choice that you can actually stop or fighy against😂😂. 😂

[@VantageYou]

Iswr down Being Gay is NOT A CHOICE Ope oo

[@ChekwubeIsaac]

Hmmmm! Alot to be said. All the best 🙏

[@victoriyke8717]

Confusion 😅

[@femiodunsi542]

Please share links to therapy providers in Lagos (Nigeria). I don't know any.

[@ayeeshagrey]

People project their own insecurities and feelings too! 📌

[@fredcush6031]

I think because some men living in the metropolis are closeted gay men. She's just afraid to not end up with one.

[@yoursjeffery]

The way Chude talks can make you feel emotional and teary ???😂😂.... Okay oh

[@louisafiadjoe8142]

I love this guy too much. His IG is interesting to watch😊.

[@agoiobunso]

Amazing video❤❤

[@benedictiondnations3743]

what the subject im lost

[@giftedchild9490]

Lol that his like a serpent dropping silly ideas...some people will make you question your identity...get rid of them. Words are like seeds so be careful of who you let have a say.

[@precioussokwo]

Power words don't ever underestimate 😢

[@UK-sm4co]

You have left me so confused now😢😢😢

[@gerardamavi5606]

about his sexuality?

[@Liya_Nyengane]

​@@gerardamavi5606Yes! I'm also just as confused. Like, is he homosexual or not?

[@michaeladie4582]

​@@Liya_Nyenganehe isn't

[@quincytommy6754]

A lot were said and unfinished, this is an edited version I guess ?? But ℹ captured a few things, do try to land before moving to your next

[@SpiceandHerbs]

Our flower man😁

[@blessingisa9741]

Is this from our Dang community?

[@rotimimariam7538]

You too Sabi👍

[@TalesbyIye]

This is not our flower man oo😂😂

[@theolajola]

He doesn't owe anybody all this talk and explanation sha. I get that it can be helpful for people who are in his shoes, too. He might not be gay but he might not be straight also. Anyone he is, that's his business.

[@amidoeboh3771]

Whats the summary of what u are saying. Honestly I don't get it

[@rebeccaasiama9812]

Me too

[@user-lo9mj4lk5v]

Lol 😂 he's just going round a circle . Mixing lies

[@o_m8717]

​@@user-lo9mj4lk5vLies? Because of his sexuality?

[@user-lo9mj4lk5v]

@@o_m8717 Not about his sexuality but why he went to therapy.

[@Tayeexplores]

He's very clear. He is not gay. His girlfriend made him start questioning himself because she thinks as a straight guy he is supposed to be repulsed by gay guys. I personally can't roll with gay guys, but there are lots of straight guys who are not like me. And it does not make them gay.

[@eberechichikezie3571]

You are who God says you are; A man made in God’s image

[@felixpromise001]

❤❤❤

[@ezeprincess2013]

❤

[@dennisakuetehquaye3970]

Why do I have a feeling that , underneath all that story there is actually a closet story with the guy .mmmmm he is the only person who really knows who he truly is.

[@ccanft]

There probably is...buh you don't expect someone to pour everything on social media ... He has to have some reserve

[@humidg355]

She was insecure and warped minded

[@tataukok2084]

If you know you know 😂😂😂💭

[@bamidelevictor2959]

Really? 🙉🙉🙉🙉🙊🙊🙊 Bu it's OK though time will tell.This guy is such an amazing person look at what Nigeria did to him.Dnt worry we understand who you trully are and deep down you know the truth you will soon be free and aolpgize even more.We wish you all the very best❤

[@TheodosiaOyibo]

Ah ah 😂

[@o_m8717]

He is not gay. The problem is he has close pals who are gay, and he thinks about it a lot. If he saw a therapist outside the country, I'm sure they would have convinced him that he is gay. These things happen. Your thoughts ARE NOT a definition of who you are.

[@tanitambi7223]

Gay attracts gay simple

[@charliedior3336]

Chileeee please 💅🏽💅🏽

[@Liya_Nyengane]

What's tea chile? 😂

[@nnamdiohachenu7835]

😂😂😂 See!!!

[@Kvieri889]

She was demonic ...but u didn't know

[@christianokeke1402]

I don't understand this interview

[@ogechiokoro3154]

This is a clip from the full interview.. you have to subscribe to watch it in order to understand.

[@ghbraniac]

Sounds like insecurity to me. Straight men don’t care because they know what they want

[@odiaose5673]

All this one is just satan whisperimg things. If you have gay friends, help and love them from afar. Those things are wrknv spirits

[@nomsoedy1332]

You know nothing about being gay, so stop stigmatising people's existing for what ever reason that is in your head.

[@Oteri03]

See as she cross leg. Abeg oh. We don try for this ashawo industry. You be Cloro queen. 🤓🤓🤓

[@Joyyislight]

Chude is crossing his legs too sir, try to be calming down

[@doubleo-7571]

You maybe bisexual but scared of the consequences of owning up to who you are. Trying to suppress what you feel is obvious to pple. No straight man or woman ponders over the things that sent you to therapy

[@ayeeshagrey]

Not necessarily! I have never felt jealous of anyone my entire life , till someone close to me mentioned it to me and tried to define me with it. I struggled for months and fought my mind everyday to know I can’t accept anyone’s definition of me. But then , your comment is also valid .

[@egbunaemmanuel3681]

My thouhts too though

[@ruth_adewole_o]

@@ayeeshagreytotally agree with this. That’s what makes a lot of people go into what they are not supposed to. The devil has a way of messing with people’s minds and making them think they are who they are not

[@bryangere4433]

He head is under water, and he is breathing fine.. identity suppression is a coping strategy

[@o_m8717]

I don't think he is suppressing his identity. First he has close pals who are gay, that can bring those issues constantly in his face. Secondly he lives in a society that makes a big deal about men complimenting men on their looks. And since he has been around gay men a lot, he prides himself in being complemented by fellow guys. That alone can mess his perception of his sexual identity especially when his experiences are questioned. Thirdly, he was in an emotionally abusive relationship. I believe he is not bisexual.