My gun shot suicide NDE experience part 1

Part one of a two video true story relating to my nearly life long battle with suicidal depression, the 32 caliber gun shot to my own head, and the brief but baffling near death experience that swiftly followed. Plus details of all the haunting paranormal experiences prior to the episode and after including hints of my divine intervention life saving guardian angel stories to follow.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Part two is here for those still interested. kzbin.info/www/bejne/iKvWpYOtgJd0f9U

[@TEA-fj3ut]

Carlos Castanada wrote a lot of books. Are you talking about the teachings of Don Juan, Journey to Ixtlan, or a Separate reality? I only seperated from my body once, but that was a different circumstance and I wasn't able to reproduce that experience. Thank you for sharing.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

@@TEA-fj3ut yes indeed, the Don Juan books. Interstingly enough, I would turn out to excel more quickly then C.Costanada in the lessons and achieve purposeful out of body before even completing the reading of the book. NOW I no longer have the ability as readily as I did then if at all. I cant seem to do it anymore. Tried during my 8 months in prison to no avail. I thought it would make a fine escape from imprisonment but no such luck anymore. I am too stressed depressed and broken now. But i can wait till dead to do that and far more.

[@lindafrey9640]

@@TEA-fj3ut k😋📽

[@tashagross4519]

SOOOO GLAD YOU ARE STILL HERE WITH US!!! "YOU. " ARE WORTHY MY BROTHER!!!!! AND "YOU ARE SPECIAL AND LOVED!!!!!!"" GOD BLESS TO YOU!!!!!!!

[@deepchill6492]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/maXRq5aCgMRqgdE

[@0rbit80y]

This guy lays his soul bare and gets thumbs down. Whats wrong with people? Love you brother, thanks for sharing.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Thank you dearly ,Orbit80y. Haters gonna hate ,right? lol. I pray they find their way back to God as well. Be well ,Brother.

[@doggiestylepetresort]

People are cruel and judgmental as hell. It’s sad and sickening. I thank him a lot for sharing his life and story with us. Raising awareness.

[@gabrielbonifacio]

Sometimes these thumb downs were just accidents.. It happened to me before that I had pressed thumb down with no intention of doing so.. It just accidents im sure of that.

[@SiobhanIraFernweh]

Godless. I was myself until 1988.

[@FiggsNeughton]

@@doggiestylepetresort It's not cruel to provide feedback. It doesn't come from hatred. Rayzer rambles a bit, and some people just want to get to the point.

[@gala9593]

My daddy killed himself in 2019, he shot himself in the temple. He died 24 hrs later. He was in Mexico at a ranch, alone. By the time I got to where he was (at a hospital) he was gone. I wanted to say goodbye. My big brother was there with him, i heard him cry like never in my life and it hurt my soul not being able to hug him. So hard to know he was there and alone. My dad thought about suicide from a younger age ( found out after he passed away) what hurt me was the way he died, the pain he must have felt, the loneliness, what he must have felt in his heart ...all that but not death because i understand that its part of life. He was away most of my life but i adored my dad and he knew it and i told him many times how much i loved him, kissed him so much the last time i saw him alive. I miss him, miss knowing that i cant physically see him again. He had this planned, he literally dug his own grave next to his sister, he had his funeral paid for, oh this hurt beyond words, just to imagine what kind of pain he must have felt, i know he cried alone and that is what hurts. After his death i cried and yelled at God why? Why my Daddy? I heard this “ dont look for God in the outside He is within” that has changed my life. Shortly after My Dad came to me in a dream and he literally walked me out of the house i was living in at that time, while i walked behind him there were crocodiles and snakes coming from under the walls and trying to get me and he kicked them all and walked me outside to safety, a few months later i had alot of problems in that house and had to sell it but not before going through hell literally, legal and money issues but at the end i sold the house and made a huge profit, i know my Daddy helped me and now i know that he is okay. He is not in hell like the christians told me, i actually saw him again and he said he was not in the cemetery that he was in my heart. I am now at peace with his death because i know he is ok. I have alot of dreams before things happen, even my daughters death i dreamt too. God is real, he is within us all🙏🏼❤️

[@rayzerwrecker70]

You are correct ,Gala. I hope that sharing your story here helped in some small way. Giving it away to the world helps take it off your back a bit. I hope you continue to heal. Christians and Catholics are wrong about suicide. Only healing and comfort waits for them on the other side. But their spirit may feel compelled to live this life again because in many cases they didn't fulfill their lifes mission by cutting it short. But its all in the bigger plan. Gods plan. God bless you and yours. Be well out there.

[@gala9593]

@@rayzerwrecker70 it does thank you, I try not to think about it.. hurts to..

[@stevenhensman2541]

My dear friend your father is ok he is alive find yourself a spiritualist church from Steve clairvoyant medium

[@stevenhensman2541]

Sorry I'm back again you say you never had no time to say goodbye that's why it isn't no goodbye just say to him that you love him he can hear you you cannot see that world

[@libertygiveme1987]

@@rayzerwrecker70 rayzer - Catholics are CHRISTIAN!!!! And there is only ONE LIFE, Thank-God!!!! You don't come back as a "Lady Bug" or a Famous Pianist, you go to Heaven, Hell or Purgatory. MOST go to Purgatory!!!!

[@RodanX21]

When ever I get depressed I seek counsel from the animals...they don't have any generational gaps, social justice hangups or rules of fashion, social behavior...We humans love to overcomplicate ourselves into oblivion.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

You said it. So true. Especially worse with every new further indoctrinated generation. So many pitfalls in life today. Animals and nature are God's gift to us that way among others.

[@patriciahaynes3650]

Stay strong I agree with you I went through a divorce a year ago and I got a bit depressed over it I have a cat named Peaches that help me through it

[@k9maiden5]

I agree with you. People who don't know how strong bonds are between human and animals have never owned a pet. They are God's gift to us, they love unconditionally, they are always there to comfort you in times of distress, and they will be with you long after they have passed. We will see them again, those that say animals don't have souls never owned a dog, cat, bird, or otherwise. God bless you!

[@tooakki]

yep

[@barbarachristina2026]

thank you for sharing this i often feel i am the only person in the whole world who feels like this . since i was 7 yrs and now 67. suffered all my life with deep dark depression and never felt i belonged. you have brightened my life by sharing. depression is very painful in so many ways. god bless you. x

[@rayzerwrecker70]

@@barbarachristina2026 And thank you for visiting and leaving your kind words. Let us never believe the lies of Satan. We are all interconnected through spirit.Jesus is the glue. It's stronger when we believe. GOD bless you dearly. It will all be worth the struggle.

[@Headspace101]

I sympathise with you. I have suffered from depression for as long as I csn remember. God bless xx

[@barrysoetoro7835]

I hope you are doing okay, sister.

[@Headspace101]

@@barrysoetoro7835 I am at the moment. In fact I have just emerged from a bout of (not sure what, I get every spring)- nostalgic depression and feel euphoric and peaceful right now. Hope you and everyone else on here feel peace as well x

[@barrysoetoro7835]

@@Headspace101 That makes me happy. Hope you are well.

[@belinajewel]

Yes, you are a wonderfull person I think and God saved you for a reason. My daughter was killed 1,5 years ago, so videos like your are some pain relief for me. Thank you so much. 🙏🏻

[@rayzerwrecker70]

You are so kind for saying this, Belina. I thank you. I also send you blessings for healing and peace. May the dear Lord Jesus bless you richly. You will be reunited with your loved ones to be certain.

[@belinajewel]

Hope you feel how deeply grateful I am for this. Thank you dear, yes, our Lord showed me in a unmistakable way, that she is with Him. God bless you.

[@asianhot26]

Admire your brutal honesty and courage to show your vulnerability! Daniel from China

[@rayzerwrecker70]

I appreciate the kind words ,Chun. Thanks for taking the time. I am glad it came of interest to you all the way out there in China. Brutal honesty is a character trait of mine. For better or worse. Be well.

[@STARRANISE-cv5qt]

I don’t know you but I wanted to tell you I love you. And that your life has tremendous value.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Thanks for that. We all have tremendous value if we use it for God's message. Sending much LOVE.

[@ItalianAngel21175]

Ray this popped up in my feed, and I know its three years old. I just want to say I'm glad your still here. My brother shot himself in the head in his bedroom in front of his wife 8-18-2000 and passed 8-19-2000 His baby daughter had just turned 1 year old a week before. The bullet he used they call a cop killer bullet. He was 20 years old. He put 1 bullet in the revolver shut it and spun it. He then pulled the trigger continuously and the 4th shot was the last shot. I can not express enough what this did to my family. We have never been the same. Thank you for sharing your story. I pray anyone thinking on this selfish act reconsider this. There is always a way out of what ever your going through but death is forever and there is no way out of that, and hell and broken people is the only end result. 🙏🌹

[@rayzerwrecker70]

@@ItalianAngel21175 Hello, Italian Angel, I thank you much for visiting, your kind words, and for sharing your deeply painful personal loss with me and others here. We can all learn from each other's tough life lessons. I'm so sorry to see your brother didn't survive the struggle he was facing, and at such a young age. I died at 43 destined for hell due to a wretched lifestyle up to that point. Saved in more ways than one and now 53! Please don't be too sure where your dear brother is facing his afterlife. Only our King Jesus can know for sure. Just keep him in your prayers. I learned from my NDE there is redemption even in the Afterlife. May your family know the peace and healing of Christ in your lifetime. GOD bless you.

[@ItalianAngel21175]

@@rayzerwrecker70 🙏🤗💖🌹Thank You Ray 🌹

[@paulcooper5748]

I feel your pain brother i struggle with depression too.

[@iosole7668]

I am glad you are still alive, you are beautiful and nice and friendly. You have light and love in your eyes. I am sorry for all the pain you went through. Glad you still live and you have learned so much. God loves you and bless you. I hug you with my heart and thank you for sharing your story with us. May you be blessed every day . Ciao from Italy 💖💖from Elisabetta

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Greetings to you Ciao , Sei una bella persona. How very sweet you are. I am deeply touched with your heart felt words. So glad and encouraged by your comment and visit. Our Lord Jesus still has much work to do on me by improving my heart and soul but i know he is still with me and we are both working hard to get me where i need to be. With him in Heaven. I know you will be there. May God bless you and yours richly and often.

[@iosole7668]

@@rayzerwrecker70 dear, I am sure Jesus has a lot to do with all of us! But he loves us so much and He is patient! Never give up please ! You are blessed. Hugs hugs hugs!! Life is beautiful and worthy. 🤗🤗👌❤💖💖💖💖💖🍀ciao! Elisabetta

[@susieuramoto7491]

So much gratitude for you sharing your story. What an evolved soul and strong spirit you are. What a privilege to encounter your video. 🙏💜

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Hello Susie, Thank you kindly for the loving words and kindness. I am so glad now that i shared this knowing how it helps others in their similar struggles. May God bless you richly.

[@reg8297]

So honest time he took in his car to tell his story in detail should b commended for that God bless him 💖

[@hollynoelleAbductedUfologist]

I am grateful to God that You survived. You are a beautiful Man and a beautiful Soul..I understand major depression. Much Love, Brother.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

@@hollynoelleAbductedUfologist Thank you, my dear. May we find comfort in Heaven.

[@YouTubeCommentator.]

We need more people like you in this world. ALIVE❤️

[@rayzerwrecker70]

God bless you for your sincere kindness ,my friend. It is needed. I am trapped in a dark space yet again and hoping God provides real soon before hopelessness sets in this winter. Pray for me. Much Love to you.

[@carlmorgan8452]

Praying 🙏 ❤ peace and joy is found in Christ

[@silvergirl3688]

It takes real guts to keep living in this world.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

I disagree. Though it does take bravery for some to continue living. Others have it very easy here. Facing the unknown and possibly a Hellish afterlife takes far more fortitude then just living a poor ,uncertain , or mundane life that will end anyway. Life is a preparation for the after life. Live in such a way that you shape a good after life with the life you lead. God bless you.

[@2lucki333]

Glad you’re still experiencing the light in life !! ♥️

[@sheenaalexis8710]

No offense but after all of that I still haven't really heard the NDE. I'm certainly glad you're alright though and obviously healing as a person

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Thank you ,Ms.. The NDE starts at the next video PART TWO.

[@sheenaalexis8710]

@@rayzerwrecker70 oh ok I'm sorry my bad. I didn't notice that AT the time I wrote the comment

[@adaschannel2350]

I was thinking the same

[@staysafe6446]

What does nde mean?

[@staysafe6446]

@Mark White ok ...got it.

[@dianebarron8362]

you are just the greatest guy in my opinion and there aren't a lot of them out there and may GOD BLESS YOU AND PROTECT YOU ALWAYS

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Wow, and thanks so much for your kindness, Diane! I wish the people who directly surround me felt the same way for me. Feeling little more then coldness since i moved to Maine. But i love the land so. May God bless you deeply always. 😘

[@packinaglock]

I was struggling not to put my pistol to my head waiting for the NDE part to start, which I don't believe it ever did. Glad your ok though bro.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

The NDE is short for "near death experience". So that would not have started for you unless you pulled the trigger ,died ,and was revived somehow. But i hope you find peace and love instead.

[@commendatore2516]

@@rayzerwrecker70 i dont get one thing, after the gunshot you walked to your car, did things or two, and later in the ambulance you get 2 flat lines and you experience nothing......my guess is you got a schrapnel in your head and you got a obe rather than a nde, i was really shocked and amazed that you didnt recall anything from those 2 flat lines, i believe your words but my guess is that you hallucinated after the shot or did have a out of body experience

[@rayzerwrecker70]

@@commendatore2516 Hello C, I took the experience as the spirit world intending not to communicate with me in that way. I was sooo removed from God at the time ,that I dont think I would have interacted with good spirits but evil instead. So I believe i was spared that way. The kind of experience i had during the brief time on the other side immediately after the shot , I later confirmed was part of many other NDE experiences by others. I just didnt travel any further then the black place that many start at. I have had more time on the other side through my intentional outer body experiences through meditation practices. There was no need to return to the other side during my next two flatlines. Or i did and the memory was wiped. Often we cross over during healthy dream time and chalk it up to being only a dream. God bless you.

[@rebeccamendez2691]

lol

[@deankereiakes799]

Yeah I hsd to go too. Yaw have a great day. What a wonderful world. Lol

[@NurseNick420]

I'm glad you're still here to tell this story! Life is much too precious to end it like that. Even though things may seem terrible at the moment one considers suicide, those things will ALWAYS turn around with time. I like to think of life as a rotisserie. There will be moments where you are directly over the fire and moments where you are able to get a break from the heat while those around you cook. However, it never stops rotating because everybody has to go over the fire eventually.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Interesting analogy. Thanks for sharing and may the Lord our God bless you richly in this life and here after. Be well.

[@NurseNick420]

​@@rayzerwrecker70 Thank you, you too! I saw your second video and I sure hope you are doing much better since these videos were made. I'm sure it felt therapeutic to get all of that out in the open! I am a nurse and I always commend my patients when they open up about past traumas. It takes a lot of courage for one to do.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

@@NurseNick420 You serve a great purpose here and you seem well suited for it. God's angels are surely smiling on you. This surely has been beneficial for my piece of mind. Hopefully for other as well.

[@user-np1gi7nm9w]

Very emotionally sensitive person, just need more love and understanding. Definitely prayer too

[@davebeech236]

Blimey, I thought I'd had it rough! Major kudos for getting through all that, and serious props for making the video, bro. You got Big J in your corner now so everything's cool. Sweet!

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Glad to have you on my side somewhere out there ,Bro. You and those sweet souls like you are in my prayers. Be well here in Hell till we reach Heaven again.

[@juliecramer7768]

Jesus Christ is the answer.

[@Gerardo-dt8xf]

Yes indeed.

[@juliecramer7768]

Yes he is!

[@martymcfly6223]

You mean that fake God that the sheep follow?

[@ONLYB-NLOGICAL]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 the answer to a joke he ain't fixed Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit yet only cause more division

[@carlmorgan8452]

​@@martymcfly6223because you don't believe , doesn't make it so. ✌❤

[@dorothywright4017]

My daughter took her life at 24 . She shot herself in the temple. She was so good at hiding her pain. I would love to hear more from you about how one could do what we are so programmed not to? I think maybe god kept you here to help understand this? Maybe it is your mission to help surviving family and friends? Thank you for this video.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Hello Dorothy. It pains me to know of your suffering and so many like us in these broken times. I am glad my story may have helped in some small way. I do wish to serve humanity in support of this specific kind if and where i can. You can ask me here if you like or find me on FaceBook as Raynard Hannah and private message me there. I pray you find the healing you need in this life time.

[@user-lo9po5mp5u]

My son shot himself in the neck 3 months ago. I was only 7 or 8 ft from him. He was drinking. The bullet came out the back of his head. He left behind a 15 year old brother and a 25 y old sister, who was his best friend. He would not have done this without the vodka. I know he wouldn't have wanted us to suffer so hard after. I know he's alive, with Jesus after he was pulled out of a black place full of screams. I prayed over his body and instructed him to call Jesus and no matter where he was, He'd hear his cries. Jesus came and plucked him from hell. My son gave his life to Jesus about 4 mo prior, asked him forgiveness, and decided to ask God to help him quit drinking. He was doing so much better, wanted to get baptized, but he slipped up and got drunk while I was at work. People, if he hadn't been saved before this happened he would be still in hell right now. I don't understand how God let him hear me say " call for Jesus" AFTER HE DIED but the vision my friend Angel had the next day showed this indeed what happened.

[@micjoseph6250]

Unfortunately we have to live through life we can't take our life , I suffer with some bad depression myself brother , thx for your testimony it takes courage , God bless you.

[@johnb8854]

I was pronounced DOA ( NOT a NDE.) at a medical center in 1973... No further attempt was made to resuscitate me... More than half an hour passed, and then my Heart started to beat again... During that half hour, I discovered the DIFFERENCE, between the human body, and "LIFE The Real Self"... I found that this universe including the human body, to be just a 'STORY', presented in the form of a 'Holographic Simulation', in a Display Register, of "The Processing System of LIFE", where "LIFE The Real Self", ( An Offspring of The LIGHT ) is the OBSERVER.

[@goldengirls9230]

My former fiance shot himself in the head soon after we broke up. He said to me that he would kill himself if I left him. He shot himself with a shotgun 2 months later. It was a life altering experience. He struggled with depression all his life. I think of him and pray that he's in a good place, that he's happy, and at peace. This was in 2007.

[@jonathanburnette3373]

I am so glad that you are with us brother. You are the lost sheep that Jesus spoke about when he left the 99. Stay strong in Christ.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Hello Jonathan, Thanks so much for visiting and sharing your kind words of love. Yes, I love this about Jesus. As for the depressing music, yes it speaks to my depression. Dark depressive music sooths the depression rather then attempting to treat it like it does not exist as we do through happy silly music. I do enjoy uplifting music as well though. God bless you richly and may you be well in all your days.

[@lisascales9582]

I appreciate you so much thanks for being you and telling your story

[@maryanndeweerd2570]

Thankyou for sharing yr experience 🥰 glad your here!

[@PythagorasHyperborea]

This is like a tutorial on good suicide guns. “Yeaaaah, I kind’a like a good 32 ought bolt rack jib. I feel like that would take the head right off. No fuss, no muss.”

[@lindareynolds659]

I see the sadness in your eyes but your soul is beautiful 🙌🏻 🕊♥️

[@rayzerwrecker70]

For you to see this, you must be such a lovely soul aswell. Be blessed 🙌 ✨ 🙏 💖

[@lindareynolds659]

@@rayzerwrecker70 looking for the good is the only way through our darkness, and every speck of light no matter how small is hope 🕊 stay blessed 🙏🏻♥️🥰

[@jasmatteenaik2978]

Thanks for sharing it helps us to learn a lot of what we don't know so thank you

[@rayzerwrecker70]

You are very welcome. Thanks for the kind words and God bless you.

[@alexanderdefender]

Your story is so wonderful, you will help so many with your experience. You are a great guy I love your personality and appreciate you taking the time to relive the darkness so that we can witness your light!

[@JL-wm6jb]

You're still here brother. That only means that you have work to do before you get to go home. Then again that applies to all of us. I can somewhat relate to your suicide experience although I failed. Anyhow my learned lesson is that suicide is and should never be an option. Glad that you're still with us brother. God bless.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

As I am glad you failed too ,Brother. You are a merit to many. So on shining in the light of the Lord. Many blessings to you.

[@colonalklink14]

What must I do to be saved? Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved. That means to put all of your confidence (trust) in the person and finished work of Christ alone for salvation. Jesus paid for all the sins of all the world at the cross (past, present, and future). That payment is put to your account when you have believed on Christ alone for salvation.

[@patrickphilip777]

I was hugely into DSBM music. As soon as I started watching I felt like you and I had some similarities. I'm only 13 minutes in to your video and I love it. God bless you brother.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Thank you and God bless you as well ,Bro. I still like the music and even write my own. Seek GraveSideService on here. My band. Metal brothers unite!

[@reefk8876]

Wild story. Great music in the background by the way. Those dark figures from your early years could been from sleep paralysis or hypnagogia. You’re a creative and probably more connected to your unconscious mind and shadow self. The unconscious holds psychic/spirit phenomena not easy to deal with if it bleeds through. All light comes from dark. Glad you’re alive with the rest of us weirdos. Bless

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Oh you are so funny and right on the mark. So blessed to discover colorful people in God's favor 🙏 here online through this msg. . Anyone who would like to be friends can find me as Raynard Hannah on f.b..God bless the wierdo's!

[@TammieBuckeye]

Thank you for your courage to share your life/ending and new beginning.

[@buabengkwabenakyere8878]

Help kids, Charity and you'll give Christ no option but to prove to you he's in charge. You'll feel it as the kids smile. You easily have an eye to see God.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

I am ready to contribute my services where ever they seem needed and make themselves known to me. Thank you for your kind comment. God bless you.

[@brittaanderson8055]

First thoughts of this was at 9, seemed like a relief to know we can check out whenever we want.

[@lonnieashby4767]

My nephew shot himself in the head and died. I miss him so much. I didn't get to know him till he was 20. We became very close. He killed himself at 24, on father's day.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

So sorry to hear it. Suicides are on the rise in todays dark social climate. We as those left behind must come to terms with it and try to make this a better place worth living in. God bless you.

[@JustGab-me]

so do you believe in reincarnation? how is it possible? the bible clearly says that when you die there is judgment and that you only die once. the idea of ​​reincarnation frankly scares me more than death itself.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Hello, You and me both. Reincarnation terrifies me more then death as well. But look into the documented research. It at least will make you suspect it is possible. i wasn't given that info directly on the other side. I was involved in past life meditative practices with a trained professional in the 90's and can tell you from my recorded experience of it that there is surely something there. I tend to believe the bible as important as it is, has been altered over the ages and the truths provided within have been corrupted in places by evil people in power at times. So this passage you speak of may easily have been just such a molestation of the original texts. Not sure. God bless you on your journey for the truth. They cant withhold the truth when we die and cross over.

[@JustGab-me]

@@rayzerwrecker70 or maybe it doesn't mean anything. Our brain is after all strange, deceptive. How can you remember past lives if your consciousness is attuned to your current existence? If we believe that the bible is truth, we cannot automatically mix sweet with bitter, truth with paganism, otherwise all religions would have a fund of truth and the bible would no longer be the only truth. The bible has been partially modified, yes, but not so much that it deeply affects the doctrine. However it may be, God guide us in his truth and make us live in his light and in his love, so that when we close our eyes to meet death, we will be before him, forever. God bless you. After all, love is the supreme purpose of God.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

@@JustGab-me I fear the bible has been altered enough to suppress a significant amount of its truth. I thank the vatican for that personally. Not alone in that suspicion either. It is a fortress of evil doing great disrepair to Gods holy words. I traveled past lives through outerbody meditation conducted by a psychic back before i was saved. Among other spiritual practices and experiences. Maybe the demons were deceiving me. We will all know for sure some fine day.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

More to be learned about the specific suicide epidemic i am a demographic part of. Much more to learn about my death of despair and others like me. kzbin.info/www/bejne/iKiUlYGqeap0ZpI

[@davebeech236]

21:52 If you mean the British singer who did 'Cars', that was Gary Numan. He came out of the punk era way back in the day. Mind you, I don't know a thing about the goth/death metal scene of the 2000s.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Yes it was G.Numan's 2013 album. He was more goth at that stage and still is.

[@tuketherecluse9571]

This is the video I was looking for!I want to hear more of your paranormal stories!

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Thanks my friend. I may be filming something special tmrw morning and posting soon after. I have slowed down a bit with the Maine weather slowing me down. Thank you much for you support and God bless you ,my friend.

[@tuketherecluse9571]

@@rayzerwrecker70 God bless.Yeah I wanna hear more about the hauntings and stuff.

[@phebejohnson4850]

This man is real, God bless his heart for sharing!

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Thank you, my friend and fellow journeyman in life. God bless you in your journey as well.

[@spiderblackwidow8747]

With all due respect I hope in your story you'll get straight to the point and tell the story without cutting off and on and going all in circles. I keep believing post because people constantly do this and I don't have the patience I lose track of the story when they do this. Your story sounds wonderful and I'm really interested so I'm ready to listen thank you so much for sharing

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Sorry , you can skip around i dont mind. My resulting brain damage naturally effected my mental means to form recollections and coherent dialogue to express them at times. Its a struggle 😪. But still so very blessed for it. As you are somehow

[@rayzerwrecker70]

.

[@sarah3796]

@@rayzerwrecker70 that sounds tough. Thank you for telling experience

[@arthurgearheard4701]

" Meet John Doe " is a good film about suicide. It was directed by Frank Capra and starred Barbara Stanwyck and Gary Cooper.

[@Raviniquist]

Sounds like what I've experienced. But you're making it interesting the way you're telling your experience. You're amazing!

[@rayzerwrecker70]

How nice of you to say such a thing ,Ravin. Many thanks and may Gods rich blessing's be upon you. We all shine brightest in the light of GOD son Jesus.

[@fishkoffhoward8]

You have an excellent sense of humor!! Howard

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Hah, thanks for saying ,Howard. I feel those who have truly known suffering tend to be the funniest people. Maybe we appreciate light hearted comedy more because we have seen the extreme opposite of it. Odd how you picked up on that in this video because I thought i was being serious and leaving out and comic relief this time. God bless you ,Sir.

[@TimberTramp]

When I’ve died in deep sleep....there is an absolutely brilliant flash of light and then an cornerless white landscape with a severe ringing in my ears (like when you shoot with no earplugs)....it freaks me out and then I awake....this has happened many times!

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Keep praying to Jesus or consider him as your guide and savior and he and his angels will protect you from dark forces outside the body.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

My other worldly Christian Horror Metal band have just released our new EP for all to purchase on the link below. This music acts as a short concept album that speaks of the horrors i suffered around the making of earlier godless metal albums with earlier bands i fronted. Including the song "CREST FALLEN" lyrically based on my actual suicide experience. My metal band is GraveSideService based out of Rhode Island. Please support and thank you dearly. anpentaprod.bandcamp.com/album/beings-born-of-night-black-horror

[@BrianJuntunen]

God does not give you psychic skills, that's not a thing, that's something we are warned about in the bible. Now then, there are the gifts of the Spirit and you may be given the ability to know something that otherwise you would not know, but the purpose is to build up and to edify the body of Christ.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

I never claimed God gave me these unwanted skills. I said they are a residual effect of nearly crossing over for good. Its not uncommon. I didnt decide to be a super hero and wasn't expecting the psychic skills i inherited from the experience. Please dont tell me its not possible when i know it is through experience. I know it is hard to think outside the bible box when its your only reference , but it is not my only point of reference. And I am heading to Bible study in a half hour at my Baptist church. And i am not Baptist. I am Christian. But i refuse to allow the different religious sects to divide us in our faith in Christ. It is diabolic and of the devil. Biut i thank you for your comment and i wish you all the very best. Be blessed.

[@matthewmaxcy1574]

Ive lost my Best friend like a brother to me, and 2 of my cousins who again were like my brothers to suicide by gun.... Smh.... And I was there for obe of them when it took place.. The aftermath and pain left for those behind is worse than the death itself... Selfish..

[@Jesamisus]

I'm sorry for your loss, but its selfish to expect them to keep living for you despite their pain.

[@matthewmaxcy1574]

@@Jesamisus if you think a 15 yr old kid should blow his brains out you are the problem.

[@leesadexter7187]

You go through so many details that don't need to be said that I was getting extremely bored.. but I wanted to hear your nde so I stayed with it. I am fascinated by the other side I know it's real and I know it's there. I have absolutely no doubts that there is a God and Jesus and our guardian angels and everything else there I know it for a fact. I don't know how I do but I have no doubts. You are a pretty good storyteller except the details of north south east or west the color of your pug and just details you take a long time to tell anything you might want to work on that mister hahaha we are what we are right and we can't change it!

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Yes, well thank you for taking the time and i hope it filled the moment with a worthy take away of some sort. I can only say i must be blessed to communicate as well as i do considering a 32 caliber bullet did a Ricochet in my brain and remains lodged in their for life. Sp thank you though, that was pretty funny to read. lol. God bless and be well in all you do ,Leesa.

[@Rodmic-hd9pn]

Did the violent end scare you?

[@rayzerwrecker70]

@@Rodmic-hd9pn it took mental preparation and fortitude but I thought it would be quick and painless. It only is if you don't survive it.

[@user-ne2uw8ji7h]

I'm at pains to understand why I've never been part of this existence. I have all the attributes needed but I can't connect. I really hope there's no incarnation back on earth at the end.✌️☘️

[@rayzerwrecker70]

@@user-ne2uw8ji7h I feel yah, homes. I'm truly sorry It's a possibility for some.

[@dianebarron8362]

for all of those having these same issues here is a great prayer : IN THE NAME OF GOD , I ORDER satin and his kingdome OUT OF MY HEAD , I ALSO ORDER satin OUT OF MY BODY AND OUT OF MY HOME, BE GONE NOW AND FOREVER , NEVER TO RETURN , I SAY THIS IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST . OH HEAVENLY FATHER PLEASE COVER ME IN THE BLOOD OF JESUS AND PROTECT ME AND PLEASE FILL MY HOUSE WITH YOUR JOYFUL HEAVENLY ANGELS .GLORY BE TO GOD AND THANK YOU . God gave you the authority over satin and his kingdom so use it and ORDER HIM OUT. You can also do this for addiction or pain and illness.

[@sammarino9063]

Thank you for sharing ❤ I needed to hear this

[@sylviasworld9397]

So glad Jesus found you. If certain thoughts still affect you there may be some soul ties, alters, agreements or demons that still exist and operate spiritually in your life/mind. It's your right to be free totally and completely. It will never hurt you to ask God specifically for freedom from these too.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

True. I am inexplicably tied to darkness. Its a constant battle. But I keep fighting. More strength to you ,my friend

[@sylviasworld9397]

@@rayzerwrecker70 freedom is yours to walk in through the blood of Jesus and the victory he got for us. You actually need to pray to break those strongholds. There are people you can contact to pray with you that have specific ministries and annointing to send these things out of your life because it's not everyone that has the right armour to do so. The devil and his helpers seem big and scary but they are absolutely afraid if Jesus and you as his coheir walking in the truth of salvation. THIS IS FACT. Satan works on deception to keep control and that's all he has until we make it our reality. He has perfected the art of deception so much that he makes us believe in the lie that there is no escape from him and his demonic servants until heaven. There is a KZbin channel called The Supernatural Life - Daniel Adams, this man and his team go around using the power of God and the holy spirit to rid people of these spiritual tormentors, the demons even confess when commanded to speak. Check out some deliverance videos. It's so real and people are being freed in Jesus name. Daniel and his team also do one to one's so you can contact them. As much as I'm saved I still am identifying and cutting some things that attached them selves to my life (either by agreement or otherwise). They are clearly at work so the walk/ work really begins after you are saved and have accepted Jesus as your Lord and saviour it does not end with it as some may have us believe. Godly things are done in the spirit but we need to make sure what happens on earth agrees with it and that is through us. Both God and the enemy actually need us to achieve anything here on earth. Those are the rules which is why Jesus had to made flesh to accomplish what he did in this realm. You know this already, I just want you to know freedom can be yours and just because you may have dabbled in some things it's not now your life sentence to be afflicted or punished for it. We are ALL sinners. Sorry to go on and on but you must know that absolute freedom is your right. It's a practical walk. I hope to read of your new found levels of freedom here soon to the testimony of God's power. God bless you.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

@@sylviasworld9397 so true. All of what you say. I am still tormented. I will seek them out. Thank you so much ,my friend. Much love and blessings to you and yours.

[@sylviasworld9397]

@@rayzerwrecker70 Many thanks for your kind words of blessing. Your torments are the last kicks of a dying horse.

[@Rodmic-hd9pn]

May God bless you and keep you protect you.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

@@Rodmic-hd9pn Thank you,my friend. I need it. GOD bless and keep you as well. Be well in Jesus name. Thanks for visiting.

[@leesadexter7187]

I'm SO not kidding when I say PLEASE work on telling your story without all the side tracking!!!!! By the time you get back to it I forgot wtf you were talking about!! Really it's irritating!!

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Sorry, I try but its a side effect among others of having a 32 caliber bullet scramble your brains. The level of compassion you display is equally irritating. But more discouraging. You promise to work on that and i will work on my delivery. ;)

[@lisahart8095]

Bless you glad you are ok But blimmey I'm yelling at the screen please get to the nde

[@tree7249]

How could you not believe in he'll? You said you were saved by Jesus. Jesus spoke of hell more than he spoke of heaven.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Because of my "near death experience" I gained a great deal of knowledge that the bible did not have enough pages to touch on or the words were altered over the ages by corrupted regimes. The bible is only so long and so is limited on all that can be told of the after life. I do believe in HELLISH regions of the after life and Heavenly ones. But there are vibrational levels of varying degree's of Heaven and Hell that our spirits naturally gravitate towards once free of the body ,depending on how lovingly or hatefully we lived our lives. God bless you.

[@darkstarbrett]

i hope you tell all of your stories. glad you have God in your heart.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Thank Doug, I tried making such a video yesterday. Instead the video went missing unexplainably. I will try to share it all as i go. God bless you kindly.

[@lindakeating8825]

Peace....thx for sharing....peace....

[@KaliKali-hv9bt]

Jeff mara brought me here! I love hearing your story

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Thank you, Kali! Thank you so much. It is so therapeutic for me to tell what i know of it to others who want to know. I too love watching vids of other people NDE's. It seems most are better stories than my own. Mine is more a warning against dabbling in evil. God bless you and stay well.

[@ashleytaylor994]

Magic mushrooms and Testoaterone replacement therapy can help with depression

[@Saral_Lekhi]

I agree. It is not cowardly to kill yourself. It takes one to the brink of anguish to act against that natural instinct of self preservation. Good you made it....It is scary how many suicides are happening.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Thnx for sharing your thoughts, Kitty. We are in dark times. I tend to think the end times by the look of it all. Just time to up the prayers and faith. God bless you.

[@jamesdennis5796]

Here's the best advice I can give you if you'd like a "life reboot". Ask God to come into your life through the work he did through his Son Jesus and see what happens. You CAN be born again.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Thank you, but you must not have viewed the entire video. I am born again in Jesus. Freshly baptized even. Thanks and God bless you.

[@Stopsuffering4all]

Thank you so much for recording this video🤗

[@rayzerwrecker70]

No one should have to die with Gary Nueman as their exit music. Thats why I was saved. Lol. Kidding. Thanks for your kind support. May God bless 🙏 you.

[@Stopsuffering4all]

@@rayzerwrecker70 you are hilarious my friend 😂 I was kinda wondering why you picked that 😅 May the Force be with you AND may you always KNOW IT 😀. I’m going thru a huge deal right now myself. I have a channel on YT I just started. I have been experiencing a lot of unexplained phenomena, stuff no one really believes is possible but this shit is really happening to me. I’m chronicling on my channel. I would love the opportunity to talk to you about it if you’re interested

[@rayzerwrecker70]

@@Stopsuffering4all thnx bro, sorry ur going through some shit. Definitely get that shit on camera if yah can. Find me ax Raynard Hannah on F.B. to protect msg me there.

[@Stopsuffering4all]

@@rayzerwrecker70 perfect thx. Just tried to friend you. My name starts with an M, and I’m female. You’ll see a lion and a cat

[@rayzerwrecker70]

@@Stopsuffering4all I will look for you ,friend.

[@thenativist6330]

Thank you for sharing your story.

[@1whocs486]

This was amazing.. hope you are doing well brother...

[@tashagross4519]

ALSO, ***CONGRATULATIONS **** ON YOUR SALVATION!!!!!

[@juliecramer7768]

When I was 13, I was lying on my bed and I suddenly had a out of body experience. When it was through I said Wow! Suddenly God pulled the veil and I was allowed to see the demon behind it. Read the book, The Beautiful Side of Evil. I highly recommend it!

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Not sure what you are saying here. Are you encouraging people to accept demons as something that can be a good thing? There is no way.

[@juliecramer7768]

@@rayzerwrecker70 No, demons can deceive even with beauty. I was allowed to see the demon who had been behind my vision. I am a born again Christian now. The book I recommend is true written by a woman who was heavily involved in the occult. She is now a Christian.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Very good. Now i know what the point is that you are making. I am fully in agreement with you. Sounds like a good book. God bless you.

[@libertygiveme1987]

OK, you first said that you are a "BORN AGAIN," then later, you speak about being "AGNOSTIC." Which is it?! You can't be both!!!! And you being GOTH DID NOT help regading your depression!!!! You apparently had the "Depression Demon," along with a few others.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

You heard me wrong. I said I WAS Agnostic before coming to Christ. I cant help being goth or Gothic in nature. It is who i am as a person and a tired sad old soul. I asked but Jesus wont take that away from me. Because it is not evil, just dark. There is a difference. God bless you and be well.

[@jessewiggins7608]

You ballzzzzz dude!! Glad your here God kicks ass too!!

[@fredb2022]

May God be with you. I confess: I do not understand these feelings: better to seek happiness and process rationally through these things. There’s a better way.

[@PurpleRanger69]

I’ll check on you Rayzer. I have some experience with depression myself. How are you feeling right now? Hopefully you see this comment.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Thank you, my friend. For caring. I struggle with the urge more and more lately. It's this war and all the evil in power in our government and across the world. I feel it must be the end times. So much is pointing to it. I do not want to be here for that kind of destruction. I am now the proud owner of a nitrogen tank. Looks like that may be the way I leave this troubled world. But little old ladies went out the same way. Alone. So why should I have it any better. At least its painless. I am sorry for your suffering as well ,P,Ranger. Raynard Hannah on FaceBook.

[@PurpleRanger69]

@@rayzerwrecker70 thanks for the reply my man. I heard that you grew up Catholic and then found Christ after your whole scenario. I am a practicing Muslim myself, and we too believe in Jesus, I bring this all up because we also believe in the end of times. Without a doubt we live in crazy times, but the beautiful thing about America is we can do our own thing, go about our own lives, even with all the chaos going on. We have to think and stay positive. Thanks for the honesty about the nitrogen tank man, but but let’s not use that, unless we’re doing some sort of science experiment haha. Rather tell me your interests and hobbies. I know you’re an artist and enjoy music. Sadly I’m not on Facebook but I’m looking forward to your message on here. Sorry for the long winded reply, hope to hear from you soon!

[@Browneyesfordays]

My exiting song would be Extol's song Aperture

[@Raviniquist]

Praise God!

[@SpreadingDisease]

I discovered death and black metal when I was high on heroin. I don’t use drugs anymore but I still have the songs in my library. There was 3 songs in particular that I used to listen to on repeat. It was Lucifer by Behemoth, From the Cradle to Enslave by Cradle of Filth and Feasting on the Blood of the Insane by Six Feet Under. I get a sinking feeling of dread when these songs come on shuffle. Best believe these songs aren’t just bullshit or for entertainment purposes. Other worldly beings communicate through music. The music was my life at the time.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

I hear you ,my fiend. It is an addiction i still struggle with Christian dark metal doesn't make a good substitute for me either. I am in a Christian Black Metal band. GraveSideService. I made sure we do it right. We sound scary as hell but we are actually safe to listen to. I just bought the new SixFeetUnder! lol! Behemoth are sell outs and so are Cradle.O.F. but i can stand them as i have a history with them. Nostalgia is strong in me too. God bless and keep up the fight!

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Latest telling interview with a most courageous and trusted host among good Christians. Coming soon. kzbin.info/www/bejne/jaOQppSCqKp7pbs

[@AlanDavid]

so hard to peel away the heaviness.been there.

[@tashagross4519]

I don't think its good for you to be listening to that depressing music!!!!! I wouldn't want to if it were me

[@rayzerwrecker70]

This music speaks to my sad tormented soul. It is actually soothing for me. Jesus understand i am just a dark and tired soul. Not an evil one. God bless and keep you.

[@ruthhingston6939]

You seem to have a very difficult life story that would be interesting to read as a biography. I am happy that Christian life has helped you. Did you feel the love of God during your near death experience?

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Greetings to you ,Ruth. Thanks for commenting. I do have enough odd ball tales to tell in an autobiography of sorts ,to be sure. But the demand is not there as of yet. Maybe there is more yet to add to the tale. To answer your question, No. I did not feel the love of God there. Where i went was devoid of all feeling. Had i gone further i am sure i would have experienced that or more likely a hellish experience, as i was a very dark and somewhat evil man at the time. I am not wasting this second chance to be the best man i can be though. In Jesus's dear sweet name. God bless you in your journey.

[@ruthhingston6939]

Thanks for responding, all the best to you.

[@ruthhingston6939]

I sure would like you to make a video about your guardian angels experiences.

[@rayzerwrecker70]

@@ruthhingston6939 Great idea ,Ruth! I will do that! I have some amazing such experiences that need to be shared. That is next. Thnx! ;)

[@gustanto1981]

i am not good in english.. sory if i am asking you.. so based on your NDE you believe to God right? and i just saw your videos.. you like to visit graves.. why?

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Yes I believe in God the creator and Jesus is his ambassador for our species (mankind) on Earth. I am a dark haunted tired old soul and graveyards comfort me. I am a Taphophile.

[@innerstar6569]

Where is the nde ?

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Part two. Its a long story. There is a link on the video and pg..

[@innerstar6569]

@@rayzerwrecker70 Thanks. I'll check it out. kzbin.info/www/bejne/pn-TYqSQeK55ha8 Please watch at 54:25

[@rayzerwrecker70]

@@innerstar6569 Thanks I.L. Thats a great informative video that i agree with much.

[@ForeverConsciousResearch]

hey inner light, we were taken for a ride on this one friend 🤦 Hope you are well. 🙏💙

[@tashagross4519]

OMG!!! I USED TO LISTEN TO NINE INCH NAILS, VERY VERY LONG TIME AGO!!!!!!

[@emptyzone8542]

Is there part 2 to this i realy would like to hear it but i can not find it

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Here you are. Thanks for your interest in my story. I do hope my lesson in life serves you well in some way. kzbin.info/www/bejne/iKvWpYOtgJd0f9U

[@tashagross4519]

MAY I SAY THO WITH MUCH RESPECT!!!?! BUT YOU SHOULD FIND A MORE BRIGHTER PLACE TO HANG OUT ,ID BR AFRAID IT MIGHT BRING ON THE DEPRESSION AGAIN .CEMETERIES ARE NOT FUN,NOR A "BRIGHT" PLACE TO BE,ITS FOR THE DEAD (no disrespect at all!!!!!!) Maybe TRY HANGING OUT AT beach ,and ,listening to that music might put you back in that state of mine, I'm just so glad your here my friend!!!!!!! Thankyou for your testimony!!!!!!!!!

[@rayzerwrecker70]

My soul prefers dark moody music and environments. Just not evil ones. The difference is there.

[@chateaumojo]

The music is dismal. Out of body trips are dangerous.

[@loretaanderson687]

Don’t do drugs!

[@AlanDavid]

great story, hate the music though.

[@amerikeet]

Gary Newman?

[@rayzerwrecker70]

@@amerikeet Did I mention that? Yes. His release called Splinters at the time and Amber Asylum. Newman I listened to on the way to the cemetery 🪦 and I listened to Amber there.

[@nukeworker83]

Who else thought that said penis in the background? lol

[@williambilly3269]

I hope you are. Better and happy

[@rayzerwrecker70]

Thanks for watching. I hope you could gleam some thing positive from it. I have not found happiness yet but I trust its guaranteed in the after life through my guidance by Jesus's promise. So I find peace in that for now. God bless.