My Healing and Freedom Journey with OCD

[@aliciamorganbrown6294]

I can’t imagine having to face this without having these resources. I am so grateful that God has taken what the enemy meant for evil in your life and turned it into something so beautiful and so helpful for others Who find themselves in the trenches.

[@JedStevens1234]

“ when you are not rooted in love, you listen to guilt .” This is me and I have had this since I was a young boy .

[@amo4god]

After months of battling these ocd tendencies in silence without knowing what it was or where to turn for support, the Lord brought me to your channel and I finally know the truth that healing is possible if I take it day by day. Thank you for giving my struggle a name and showing me I’m not alone.

[@Brian-rs4ug]

Thank you Mark. Very few people are talking about this, yet so many are dealing with this stuff in someway shape or form. Keep them coming.

[@marktdejesus]

Appreciate that Brian.

[@c.j.9248]

Excellent video. I always thought I didn't have OCD (I do like things clean and in their place), but I have always battled those thoughts, the process, overanalyzing the past, never relaxing in today, worrying about the future. Always have to do things right (or try, try, try). Agh, Lord help that crazy cycle in me!

[@matthewgray659]

I have struggled with intrusive thoughts for about 20 years, although in that time I had about 8 years of no intrusive thoughts. Your book on fear and your videos have been very helpful along with other resources I have also found. Thank you so much!

[@marktdejesus]

So glad to know that!

[@oliviag9271]

Wow! I'm sitting here talking to the TV. Like yes that's me. So I'm recovering from the Coronavirus. I honestly thought that because I fornicated I'm going to die from the corona & go to hell. Never be sitting right here on Earth & separated from God(love) for all eternity. I cried for three days and God showed me your ministry! Praise God!

[@LG-br3fe]

This series on OCD is so life changing to me. I am from the Caribbean and it's truly amazing to me how everything you have been through or talked about here on your channel is my story. Your life experiences parallel mine so well. I guess this is the reason no other life coach has had the kind of impact you and Melissa have had on my life. I pray that one day I can meet both of you face to face and thank you in person. God bless you and your family and this Wonderful ministry. Blessings❤

[@kwalt-q5l]

Your videos have been a revelation to me, I only found your channel yesterday in a mad googling frenzy to get some help for my overwhelming anxiety and OCD. Thank you Mark, you are helping me so much, and also reading all the comments from other users and seeing that I am not alone with this makes me feel so much better. You have given me so much relief and HOPE, please never underestimate the value of what you are doing and your ministry. THANK YOU

[@clint120]

Perfection, that's where OCD takes you down. Helpful, thank you for posting.

[@marktdejesus]

Thanks Clint

[@jodieenglish6353]

Thankyou, it explains a lot,the safety, the turns, I think looking back the anxiety, OCD PTSD is totally making sense. Growing up with a emotionally unstable home and a emotionally distant father with mental illness, a mother who had a illness, fear within the Church, then my son being killed in an accident, first 10 yrs of marriage multiple family members died, 2 of which were 2 separate murders, these were major turns in my life. A church that as a child I was taught fear over evil or committing a unforgivable sin. I have pure o OCD with disturbing spiritual thoughts.

[@Star-dj1kw]

I was so relieved when you said only perfect love ❤️ can cast out fear 😰 as opposed to a white knuckling through our fears or whooping up our faith like a loud Penecostal prayer meeting. I have been through the works based mentality thinking of ‘getting the victory’ and IME I was left feeling like more of a loser.

[@vaultofria]

Wow.

[@WithJustaWhisperMusic]

So much good stuff here! It's hard to find wisdom and advice from people who not only struggle with ocd, but tackle it from a Christian worldview. Glad to have found your channel and I'm excited to go through all of your content. 😁👍

[@marktdejesus]

So glad!

[@robyntingler873]

You're a God Send. What a blessing this was. I'm 57 and have struggled with Scrupulosity for years. Thank you for your ministry and God Bless.

[@WheelEstate]

Wow, thank you so much Brother Mark! I could write pages upon pages upon pages about my lifelong struggle with OCD. But I'll consolidate it into this: I've had a lifelong battle with OCD, paranoia, rituals, compulsions, obsessive thinking, false memories, rumination, constantly re-checking, etc. On top of that, I was bullied for several years. So between the OCD and the bullying, I've had a lifelong struggle with shame, regret, poor self-confidence, low self-esteem, pessimism, cynicism, being jaded, skepticism, etc. I've been a born-again, Spirit-filled Christian for many years. But my struggle with OCD has really affected my relationship with God. I constantly disqualify myself from God's promises. I constantly think of reasons why I'm the exception. I constantly question why God did this instead of that. Etc. All of that has made me very bitter and angry towards God. A few years ago, I discovered Andrew Wommack and similar Grace & Faith teachers, both past and present. Both affiliated with his ministry and not. But as inspiring and exciting as their teachings are, I always find a way to disqualify myself. Or their teachings uncover a bitterness or resentment I have towards God and I can't move past it. For example, one issue that I've been ruminating on lately is this: Why do we have to seek Him first? Let me explain... There's so much confusion within the Body of Christ and I don't even know where to start. Everyone has a different interpretation of each Bible verse and each person claims to be led by the Holy Spirit. Just like lawyers and doctors, Christians seldom agree with each other. I just don't understand why God would allow all this confusion amongst His children. His sheep clearly don't know His voice. Or at the minimum, they have a hard time distinguishing it. What happens when a child doesn't hear their father or when the child is lost? Does the father wait for the child to seek him and find his way back? Does the father sit back while the child tries to figure out a solution on their own? Does the child go through stress and turmoil trying to figure out if they have unbelief, strife, unforgiveness, etc? Does the child have to watch a thousand KZbin videos, attend a dozen navigation conferences, etc? No! The father goes after the child and does whatever he has to do to make sure the child sees and hears him. The father goes out of his way to be seen. And he screams into a megaphone if he has to. He doesn't use a still, small voice that can easily be mistaken and confused with something else. Why can't God do that? Why can't He send an angel with a message? Or appear to us in a dream or vision? Or instantly manifest a complete Word of God, written by the Holy Spirit Himself and not through people? Etc. Instead, we have a confusing Bible full of translation errors and a Holy Spirit Who doesn't seem to help us when we need it most. I just have a hard time understanding why it's my responsibility to seek Him, when He knows full well that I was born into a world of confusion that He never intended in the first place. Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden, not me. I had nothing to do with it. Why couldn't God immediately kill Satan when he fell? Why couldn't God warn Adam and Eve that Satan would be lurking in the Garden and try to tempt them? Why am I paying for the sins of two idiots who couldn't stop themselves from eating the fruit, whether it was literally or figuratively? I think my OCD has a lot to do with these questions because I'm always thinking negatively and I think of questions that non-OCD sufferers would never think of. I wish I could just get a revelation of God's love for me. Not reading words in the Bible or hearing other people tell me. I need a true revelation of it. God knows my personality and my heart, so He knows how to get through to me. The still, small voice ain't working. Anyway, I'm rambling here. I have so much to say, so it's hard to keep things concise. Just know that I'm grateful for your channel because there are lots of KZbin videos about OCD and there are lots of KZbin videos about Christianity. But there are very few KZbin videos about Christians suffering from OCD and how it affects their hearts and their relationships with God. Merry Christmas to you and your family!

[@dinasophia9440]

How are you, Manoj?

[@WheelEstate]

@@dinasophia9440 I'm doing well, Dina. How about yourself?

[@dinasophia9440]

@@WheelEstate struggling with salvation OCD. Just wanted to see if you are feeling any better :) I see your frustration in your comment and I understand.

[@WheelEstate]

@@dinasophia9440 Thank you for sharing, Dina. And thank you for reaching out to me. I appreciate your empathy and support. I've had a breakthrough in the last few weeks. In short, I've realized this: All of us are living our lives based on our perceptions of God. The same goes for authors of the Bible and people in the Bible. So I've been going through an awakening process, where I'm understanding how God really sees me and who I am to Him. I've been listening to and corresponding with Dr. Kay Fairchild. You'll see her videos on KZbin. She's an incredible Pastor and teacher who resonates with me. I also like Tony Myers, also on KZbin (the guy with blue hair). I've spoken to him several times. He has such a heart for people. Adam thought he was separated. God said to him, "Who told you you were separated [naked]?" In other words, upon partaking of the fruit/duality, Adam perceived himself to be separated from God. But God never considered Adam to be separated from Him. Adam's perception and awareness had changed. So I say to you, Dina: Who told you that you lost your salvation? Who told you that you aren't saved? Who told you that you aren't tremendously loved by the Father? Who told you that you aren't the Apple of our Father's Eye? OCD is a liar. It's not Truth. God chose you from the beginning of the world. You came to this world upright. But religion, society, etc have poisoned our minds. But God does not see us as having OCD. He sees us as completely whole and healthy. As we become aware of how God sees us, our hearts will change. And those old perceptions will die off. And we will start seeing ourselves exactly the way our Father sees us. As we start seeing ourselves the way God sees us, we will experience the physical reality and manifestation of that.❤️

[@dinasophia9440]

@@WheelEstate thank you for taking time to share that. It is encouraging. How did you come about this breakthrough, bc everyone says to read the Word and I understand that, but I don’t want to get bad thoughts towards God. Just wondering how your breakthrough came about. I’m happy to hear you are doing better, it is also an encouragement to the rest of us to hang in there. ❤️

[@Emilyredeemed]

A beautiful friend of mine sent me this video knowing that I am struggling with pretty debilitating OCD. Only half way through this video and I am in tears because almost everything you've struggled with are the same thoughts I am struggling with as well. Thank you for using your struggles to help others.

[@hannahfurcinitti7808]

Thank you so much. I've struggled with OCD my whole life, and always end up trying to solve OCD thought processes using OCD thought processes. Your videos have helped so much in digging to the root and laying new foundations. Cheers!

[@beeson5450]

Hi Mark, I realize as a 40 year old, my first OCD episode occurred around the age of 5… it sounds similar to your experience in that OCD brings song repetition. Anyways at 5 I woke up one morning to the chorus of the song “Running with the Devil” replaying in my mind over and over. I thought it meant I was evil, that somehow the devil had infected me… that was my first dance of MANY, from hand washing, to door knob checking and now I have a pure O situation. Pure O is real, it’s like graduate school for OCD people, I do it all in my head and yes, i am often not present, people see it and don’t realize it’s this mental battle of anxiety. Bless you all Thanks Mark

[@josefine968]

wow. this is me to 100%. I literally do not have any words. I thought I was the only one, and then you’re describing almost exactly the struggles I have!! thank you. I will stay

[@jazzmiinnnaagracie4805]

Yupp I can relate! God bless you and your ministry! I’m a new subscriber!

[@prairiegirl9188]

Mark, this is so very helpful as I help my 20 yr old daughter who has been at crises points with this. She found you here and shared the videos with me! An answer to much prayer.

[@chriscantrell411]

So Thankful to find this community. I have struggled with these issues for 30 years and am only recently realizing that others have a similar struggle. I will definitely be following along and going through this with great excitement.

[@boomboompow0]

This video is helping me to get back to being rooted in GOD because I know that's what's missing.

[@ladydonna37]

Mark I'm listening to these videos today. I finally have come to fully see and accept that I have OCD. So this time I'm listening with ears to hear... It's taken me since 2000 when I was diagnosed with OCD to to accept it. I do not feel like a victim because I know God is with me and will always be with me. Just wanted to tell you & thank you again for this gift of your teachings.

[@jpienaar6446]

I feel like I'm listening to myself. Praise God for you!!

[@JamesVestal-dz5qm]

The love of the father can cast out fear.

[@priscillatennant5811]

This is absolutely from the Lord. Thanx.

[@jazzmiinnnaagracie4805]

During school I had a lot of anxiety when it would be quiet in the classroom and I had loud bowel movements, no passing gas, but they were loud, and I would fear them happening during class since the 6th grade, when someone thought I farted. It always affected me in those boring quiet classes and during tests and I also dealt with blasphemous thoughts and self condemnation and anxiety and fear when I was 14, it got better after understanding Gods Grace, it came back up about a month ago and I am so happy I came across your channel!!

[@gregbakerproductions]

Thank you for this. It makes so many things in me click. I've been getting treatment for OCD for the last few years now, (Relationship and Religious) but watching this makes me actually feel like I really do have OCD, and that it's not God telling me to do things, and I find a lot of freedom in that. I can relate to so much of your journey. Watching your videos and listening to you speak gives me an ache of yearning for freedom that maybe I can actually find!

[@abhirai6124]

Love you mark. God bless you more to help others

[@stevnreed7763]

such a blessing I have first hand experience for over 20 years of this trauma and would not wish it on my worst enemy.

[@irenahabe2855]

Tanku. Found u today. Much appreciate it.

[@anniec4867]

Thank you!! I am battling with this!!! It is very helpful

[@marktdejesus]

So glad!

[@JamesVestal-dz5qm]

Today I read 20 books of the bible to my dad in a row before he finally left the room. Thanks Armstrong chapel for the support!

[@katlyndeshort]

Just ordered 2 of your books friend thank you

[@aureliomartinezjr8328]

I struggle with Phobias OCD and Fear of panic attacks. please help and pray for me

[@ChildofGod77500]

How are you now?

[@CiciNicoleTv]

I thought something was wrong with me because everytime I went to my parents or pastor it seemed like I was the one in the wrong like it was me and my fault. I thought it had to be me because they are so “faith filled” and I wasn’t or that I wasn’t “doing enough” or “reading enough”. I forgot how I found you but I thank God that he lead me to you. It has gotten to the point that if I’m not doing something at home I get fear that I’m not doing enough and God is mad. And all this Jesus is coming soon and the church needs to get ready and fear of I have to get myself ready really torments me and was a battle that I couldn’t really come to people about because it’s just me. I remember I did fasting praying and was just like this isn’t helping. Then it became like you said maybe I didn’t do this more. I want to know Gods love

[@seaside1991]

A lot of what is being described is me growing up in a Christian family. I remember those frightening End Time movies, and prophecy sermon series in the AoG churches. I was scared of missing the rapture. Not that these churches meant harm, cuz I'm sure they were just wanting to Get people saved. Anyway I'm also sure that these experiences contributed to my fear of not being holy enough and my praying repetitively to try to get it right without intrusive thoughts. It's also true that not many Christian speakers and preachers talk about scrupulosity or any of this type of fear or even know what it is. I'm still walking through this stuff, but I am getting professional help. It does help that others are struggling with this stuff also and have overcome it.

[@merafkebede3056]

Hi Mark. Thank you so much for this information. You have no idea how illuminating it has been for me. I have struggled with anxiety for a long time and had some slight OCD tendencies but it didn't hit me hard until recently when I really started getting serious with my walk with God. It was like all of a sudden I started thinking very legalistic and almost like checking every single one of my actions to see if I was being Christian enough and then just started having these crippling anxieties that God wanted me to leave my boyfriend and it was TORMENTING. I had no idea that there was even such a thing called relationship OCD until I watched this and wow I couldn't believe other people were feeling what I was feeling because I felt so lonely in it. THANK YOU SO MUCH! I feel very hopeful and just want to heal. My question is how do you find a balance between taking thoughts captive but not making that become a compulsion. I guess I am just a bit confused on how to apply that to religious and relationship OCD. I would really appreciate your input, Again, thanks a million! This has been such a blessing!!

[@princezzlainey]

Thank you so much for helping me💕

[@marktdejesus]

I am so glad!

[@mirovinac3968]

I have possibly an OCD type of personality. I had really tough childhood, I was abused (mentally and physically, by my parents and school mates and also teachers) and lived very poor. My father was really evil man, very clever but narcissistic person who hated me and my mother, he often beat me and my mom (she beat me too) and called me a demon and devil. A lot of life/health problems followed... As a teenager I had compulsive need to check and do repetitive things (to be safe for the future) do something risky which could really harm me and then developed opsessive thoughts about almost everything, anxiety and depression. For most years I have thought as I am bad, evil and doubt it in circles, tornmenting myself. Then I lived up a little, start to work and have some friends... Almost forgot everything about past. Had some girlfriends and than, at relatively young age (26) I met my wife. She was real beauty (and still she is very pretty) and I had eyes only for her. She is really smart and funny, loving and emotional person. But she also came from somewhat dysfunctional family and brung her heavy baggage. Soon we start to fight, she was often drunk and angry, and I really started to crack. I loved her but I felt very angry and disappointed. I tried to help her. And then, again, that started my OCD again. That maybe was/is Relationship OCD with guilt. I started to doubt my faith, my love to her and is she really beauty. I started to see her physical flaws. But I wanted her to be with me. Ironically, in that time I had some strange messages from unknown people (they've approached us in street). 3 people in 3 critical months approached me and tell me literally SHE'S GOOD - DO NOT LEAVE HER, DO NOT CHEAT ON HER. I never saw that people, not before nor after! Fun is, I have thoughts about other girls in that time... So, 14 years passed and we are still in marriage. I have never cheated on her (although I was close once), nor has she cheated on me. I love her and she loves me. She stopped drinking and became much calmer, we had ups and downs but never like these last 2 years because of covid. We started arguing fiercely again, we lost our jobs, my company failed and everything went downhill, as did my health. Then despondency and doubt returned to me, fear of death and life (aging), as well as doubts about my love for my wife. When I look at her and when we hug, I feel love, peace and warmth, we also have a sexual attraction, we talk honestly (I still talk little more than her) and I even told her about my doubts (I often torment myself with obsessive thoughts about whether she is beautiful enough for me and to have sex with other women) and she broke down in tears and said that we have to get through this together and that she loves me very much and that she is sorry for everything. Yes, we are both crazy. PS When my OCD is over, I am feeling such releief and love that sometimes I cry of joy. But I am still far away from complete healing.

[@laneoliver]

Incredible Mark!!

[@JamesVestal-dz5qm]

Emily is grounding. It's not ocd if you just like it. I bought a planner at Walmart today so I can start adding to each day. I just realized coffee is America's national energy drink. My goals are 1. Treat ocd 2. Quit weed and tobacco 3. Review chem-e. I believe God wants me to do the MS chem-E at UC.

[@JamesVestal-dz5qm]

Dad. My honest belief is God created me with a gift for math and science. My iq score for stem related thinking is over 130 and all I did was read the Bible all day and solve a few physics problems here and there out of boredom. I was reading genesis yesterday at the service because of your two years of astrophysics classed at vanderbilt!

[@JamesVestal-dz5qm]

Andrew broeckel I thought about you yesterday and I liked chemistry as an 8 year old. I didn't do the major for any reason other than I grew up there!

[@aldreimartin2829]

Over the past month, I've been suffering from so-called OCD. At first, I felt the guilt and shame like why I'm thinking about those thoughts, my headaches often, I can't focus on what I'm doing because the thoughts will just pop up, I have a hard time sleeping. I'm a Christian and I pray that I could find someone that has the same situation as me here in the Philippines. Please pray for me my fellow Christians. I really feel that I'm alone on this battle of minds.

[@savinaconcepcion]

You're not alone. Praying for you. I am going through the same thing. At least we can know even across the world we are not alone. And God has not left us here alone either. I'm having a very hard time sleeping this week, having terrible thoughts and just can't focus it feels like walls are closing in on me everyday. I dread waking up. I hope we can both pray for our healing. God bless you

[@vonclare1]

I understand how you feel, same with me For years I wondered why I was the only one going through this, couldn’t talk to other Christian’s because they were not going through this fragmented mind frame as me . It’s like satan left us on auto-pilot to self-destruct (mind battles) while other “beloved” Christians go through normal persecutions, I couldn’t relate with anyone. I could write so much here, it’s painful…! Lately, I feel God telling me to bask in his love, to rest…Rest. He restores us (our minds) He makes us clean in his time as we walk in him. He says he enjoys us as we are, we are not responsible for cleaning up ourselves, He is…! (We are too busy trying to figure things out ourselves, clean up ourselves, that is NOT our responsibility, that’s the Father’s!) Just rest in Him, he wants fellowship with us, that’s what. He wants us to “trust” Him. Labor to enter into His rest, labor, labor, And that is it, guys…!

[@aldreimartin2829]

@@vonclare1 thank you for taking time responding to me, I'm doing great now because of God. He is our source of peace, He is our peace of mind. Sometimes, God will allow certain things to happen but I truly believe that God is always in control. Jesus says in John 14:27 "I give you peace, the kind of peace only I can give. It isn't like the peace this world can give. So don't be worried or afraid". Every time the enemy has injected crazy, unwanted, intrusive or whatever you want to call it I speak the word of God as loud as I can, it is the most powerful weapon in the entire universe. Isaiah 26:3 You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. And lastly more dependance in the Holy Spirit, if you believe in the Son I'm sure that you have his Spirit, He is living inside of you. Just begin to ask the Holy Spirit to help and invite Him everyday.

[@vonclare1]

@Aldrei Martin, I am glad to hear this, we will keep fighting the good fight of faith God bless you!

[@hellokitkath3329]

@@aldreimartin2829 Hi Aldrei! Pinay din ako nag sstruggle with these intrusive thoughts. Message mo ko.

[@CP-jv6sc]

Great stuff

[@JamesVestal-dz5qm]

I am praying along side a multitude of nurses for help kicking weed and tobacco.

[@luzannebarlow4758]

Oh my... This is me 😱

[@JamesVestal-dz5qm]

I am re examining my weed and tobacco triggers and their relationship with my parents.

[@almajeanniemoore2219]

This is so very helpful!

[@IrenBthr]

Thank you for your video

[@JamesVestal-dz5qm]

On the master of science at uc in chemical engineering it is easier to enter through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of the lord but through God all things are possible.

[@tamishapiro4022]

PLEASE PLEASE PRAY FOR ME.. THANK U❤❤ GOING FOR TMS. PLEASE PRAY THAT IT WORKS.

[@aquilanari]

Thank you ❤

[@Star-dj1kw]

10:00 video starts here

[@JamesVestal-dz5qm]

Just checked upstairs. Not yet.

[@karenduey9675]

You live a life of editing... yes

[@JamesVestal-dz5qm]

I'm praying again that only the lord knows which hit of nicotine is the last. 17, 18, and 19 years was an important season of my life, too. I went from eating magic mushrooms to disorderly conduct to mmm lemonz.

[@cyanide_and_]

I'd be interested to know what comes before OCD - what led people to having these issues and I'd even say religion added to the malady. You mentioned transitions and I tend to agree. Perhaps you referred to the attachment theories in the psychology space? So OCD is actually the different ways people cope over the years.

[@marktdejesus]

I will be posting a lot more content. Stay tuned.

[@persevere6326]

I 100% believe that ocd is formed out of a traumatic experience. There are a few highly esteemed drs out there that believe that as well.....

[@karyncaoile2411]

@@persevere6326 I too believe it’s related to developmental trauma. I have severe OCD and the patterns highly resemble how I was raised. Overly controlling and abusive stepfather, that expected nothing less of perfection from me. Grew up in a constant atmosphere of doom. It seems to me I never left that environment afterall, it’s just all in my mind now.

[@ChildofGod77500]

@@karyncaoile2411 How are you now?

[@karyncaoile2411]

@@ChildofGod77500 I’m doing a bit better but I still go through ups and downs, I find that the best remedy so far is to let go of all religious ways of being and seeking freedom from that while still following God, if that makes sense. It is definitely a process and the effort must be made daily but I do see and feel the difference. Mark DeJesus and scrupulosity.com are my go-tos for sure. Thank you for asking brother, God bless you!

[@cassielatham5097]

Did the OCD and anxiety ever cause you to think about walking away from God?

[@arrenjaymeabel946]

How can i avail of your book and how much?

[@lovewinsmary]

💖💖💖

[@KelilaMurdock]

44:00

[@JamesVestal-dz5qm]

You know I'm a much more religious person because of 5th precinct cops presidential endorsement. I always turn to the Bible for help with that aspiration!

[@Dave_The_Beatmaker]

The brokenheaded got me like: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@nishajeetkullu5766]

51:50 This. So relatable

[@JamesVestal-dz5qm]

On God, the duct tape on the alarm clock, did we establish disorderly conduct against the state of ohio beyond a reasonable doubt?

[@JamesVestal-dz5qm]

Prayer is like academic integrity. You have to read the Bible and go to Bible study and earn the support.

[@JamesVestal-dz5qm]

I'm praying for the strength to read the holy Bible instead of vape weed and tobacco.

[@ThisIsGonnaBeaLongStory]

Seinfeld episode? That is a very inappropriate show. Wish you didn't condone it or seemingly condone it

[@amo4god]

After months of battling these ocd tendencies in silence without knowing what it was or where to turn for support, the Lord brought me to your channel and I finally know the truth that healing is possible if I take it day by day. Thank you for giving my struggle a name and showing me I’m not alone.