My Husband Won’t Move Unless God Tells Him To

My Husband Won’t Move Unless God Tells Him To
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[@jasminebaby3375]

🚩🚩🚩🚩One time I had a believer friend who is married to a pastor told me God reveal to her that I will be helping her financially to set up a business. I told her to ask God to give it to her directly because I will not be doing that. She never talked to me again 😂😂😂

[@scroogemcduckismyspiritanimal]

As I heard Dave Ramsey once say "he didn't tell me I was gonna do that so I don't think so"

[@aneber1811]

@@Katherinedawn25what?? God doesn’t tell us to leave our discernment.

[@BestShootermanUbz]

@@Katherinedawn25You must be the friend she’s referring to 😂

[@sillyslicker1]

Omg, I love you 🤣People can get some of the craziest ideas. My mom has been wasting money on lottery tickets for the past 26 years, because God "told" her that he's going to give her $10,000,000. Not sure why God couldn't just have it rain from the sky or something, instead of gambling for it, but she hasn't struck her promised millions, yet.

[@AlyssaTaylor9]

@Momofpetey Amazing! God just revealed to me that you specifically are called to pay off my student loans. Best follow through friend!

[@rebeccaoprea9917]

“If you stay quiet to keep the peace , you’ll start a war inside you.”

[@jasminebaby3375]

I love this ❤️❤️❤️

[@alluringbliss4165]

Truth

[@rachelgooden9981]

Omg this!!!!

[@LadyCaroline123]

That is a great saying.

[@dabd8175]

Awful saying breeding insubordination

[@sharmainekuilan9808]

I know for a fact she’s scared to move because she’s manipulated into thinking she’ll be going against God if she leaves her husband or makes him leave his calling. Family should be his first ministry priority.😔

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

Manipulated by religion

[@MD-tr1yv]

Luke 9:61-62 (NKJV): 61 And another also said, “Lord, I will follow You, but let me first go and bid them farewell who are at my house.” 62 But Jesus said to him, “No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.” This is why we have lukewarm Christianity. Putting family above the mission

[@Ireallyamprettynice]

@MD-tr1yv That is addressed to a single man not a married man. He wants to go home a say good bye to his family not his wife and children. There is a reason it is advised not to get married because when you get married your concern is for your wife. Why would God want you to neglect the needs of your wife so she resents you and possibly loses her faith. Yes wives are to submit to their husbands but it is extremely difficult to submit to a man who does not consider her or make her feel loved and valued. Please Learn to interpret your Bible. You could be leading people astray.

[@blueStarKitt7924]

​@@Ireallyamprettynice😞😞😞😮‍💨

[@joeangellee]

⁠​⁠@@MD-tr1yvl left the church & Christ because of people like you. Cherry picking Christians 🍒.

[@candyluna2929]

8 years...the husband needs to take her into consideration.

[@MustardseedMomma68]

I have been a part time missionary, a full time teacher, and now a stay at home mom for 2 special needs kids. I have changed a lot. So has my husband. But I feel safe and heard. Many people who have “a calling “, use it to control their families or their ministries…in my experience.

[@hadizamohammed]

Very accurate. Such people use the love and reverence people have for God in order to manipulate and control their loved ones and families. They cloud their voice and God's voice and make them indistinguishable from each other so that you can't challenge their decisions.

[@danielrn133]

Religion is famous for abusing people either financially, sexually, or both. Anyone can justify anything with religion.

[@CaToRi-]

A lot of manipulation. When you are in a foreign country it’s hard to have friends, to have social life, to have hobbies or to have a divorce. The wife and kids are like prisoners with her husband and the husband became their sole provider, their everything and that’s when you notice that something is very wrong.

[@jonharman8547]

As a man who was a missionary in a foreign country with my family I would say: 1. Your first God-given calling is to your family and their well-being (I grasped this later than I should have, but still in time thankfully). 2. God’s calling is more supernatural than John acknowledges, but less than most believe. 3. Your calling is to use your talents to fulfill the Great Commission the best way you can wherever the first two points take you, and it doesn’t have to be where you are now.

[@mikethemonsta15]

Great advice

[@sara24242]

#1 !!!!

[@Samanthasupernovaa]

I love these practical things you are saying because I have some questions sometimes about my own life decisions and what not, and I love the Lord. But I don’t have anyone really to ask for advice/counsel that I want to hear from. I don’t talk to family either. So I appreciate stuff that’s simple like this

[@josephinenatsui4267]

Thank you for this clarity.

[@Hlaford2009]

I was a lunatic like that. Thank God my wife did not divorce me.

[@kellygatunange1634]

I don’t know why this was refreshing 😂, Kudos to you🎊. May God bless you guys

[@ninaunderdue1430]

That is soo refreshing to hear a guy say this. Yhat being said, what advice would you give this couple and couples like this?

[@lifeaccordingtotheo9643]

Call a lawyer in the US (if that is where you are from) and say you want to go back home with your children legally and take their advice.

[@peterlee584]

Exactly.

[@fauxbro1983]

Lol. It's funny how you broads all go to the divorce route as soon as possible. Then weaponize the kids.

[@Anonymoose66G]

The jurisdiction your in takes president.

[@jennifert2953]

No it doesn’t if your children are citizens of the US.

[@Anonymoose66G]

@@jennifert2953 If you have citizenship of the country you reside in it does and after 8 years in Azerbaijan they probably have Azerbaijani citizenship.

[@laurenecarter246]

My 45 year old cousin is the daughter of missionaries. She and her brothers were put in a boarding school 100's of miles away in the mountains whilst their parents were nurses in Karachi. She pretty much raised her little brothers all through their schooling years and came back to Australia when she was 16 years old. Almost 30 years later she is still angry at being "what she feels like" was abandonment. She never asked to go. Being a missionary is definitely a single persons calling. You can't expect spouse and children to go along with "your" calling.

[@georgewagner7787]

Some denominations are changing that policy now as they realize the damage

[@psyche8187]

I 100% agree that it’s a single person’s calling. A married couple could do it, but because I believe that Christian marriage is oriented toward growing a family, it is primarily a single person’s vocation.

[@GameChanger597]

Just terrible. Sounds like a cult. And they WERE abandoned so I don't blame her for being angry. The parents clearly weren't putting their children first. Also, missionary work doesn't have to be a "single person's" calling if God calls the couple who are one already anyway.

[@catholicfemininity2126]

Sometimes it's not a calling but a demonic lie. God would never call you to put your family in harms way... God wants nuclear families to stay together.

[@73cidalia]

Yes. Charity begins at home.

[@bkucenski]

Sometimes God is talking to you through your wife. Too many people are only willing to help people "over there" and not the people in their own neighborhood. The question she really needs to ask is what is stopping her from leaving. Could she hop on a plane tomorrow to somewhere she wants to go? If the answer is that it's impossible due to lack of communication or money, then that is why you are there. Control.

[@rebeccashields9626]

Yeah, I agree. For the amount of money you spend on plane tickets and transportation overseas you could make a real difference in your own community. Also you would have a much better understanding of the problems and people where you are than in a strange place. Also how much missionary-ing are they really doing with that big of a language barrier? That’s nuts.

[@arielevenson3108]

You insane you can’t just up and leave your husband

[@bkucenski]

@@arielevenson3108 Steven Crowder's wife did just that. If someone is abusive and controlling, it can be dangerous but necessary. If this husband is smart, he'll be out in less than a year to do something they can do together as a couple.

[@catholicfemininity2126]

Amen, that kind of makes me angry. This very dang country needs Jesus, and instead of going to other worlds, why don't we help our own. We're dying over here... the devil is attacking the family unit with full force!

[@cheesygal]

My favorite thing he said was that God spoke to you. As a wife and Christian, my husband knows my relationship with God is as valid as his. Also, he wouldn’t wait for me to tell him I’m unhappy. He would have noticed and done something about it.

[@amberklein1560]

This is a SERIOUS situation . She won't be able to see how serious until long after it's resolved. May God bless her.

[@faith6833]

This sounds like a cult. The people are taught to ignore their own thoughts and feelings and to follow blindly. THAT isn't safe. THAT isn't right.

[@peaceful525]

Cult and narcissist. The two most overused diagnosis on the internet.

[@EveryoneIsEqual101]

​@@peaceful525yet there is many of both.

[@ga6589]

@@peaceful525 If it looks like a duck and quacks like one....

[@devadii24]

It for sure sounds culty

[@slee2695]

Everything sounds like a cult to people with no boundaries and communal responsibility The decay of the west is hilarious to watch.."me,me,me" society

[@Oberon44]

Celeste, RUN, there is a life waiting for you outside of this controlling church. I spent 10 years in one. I was a leader and everything. Leaving was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life but it had to happen. You have a brain and a heart for a reason. You don’t have to repress your wisdom in order to serve God. You don’t have to outsource your autonomy to other leaders. You will see the truth on the other side. God is bigger than one church and the way one church does things, much much bigger. You sound young, get out while you can.

[@rfpnc]

Celeste, Ephesians 5: 25-29; 1 Peter 3:7 Your husband is called, first, to love God , and then, to love his wife as his own self. That is his FIRST vocation, if he is married. If he doesn't treat you as he should, his very prayers will be hindered. No wonder he hasn't received a " word" about where he should be.

[@Ivy285]

Best comment on this video.

[@SisterSanMiguel]

She comes from a background with no vocations or order and they made up their own. Vocation of marriage is clearly defined in Catholic Church

[@Samanthasupernovaa]

Yes!!

[@allthemomthings9897]

It’s word of faith theology. I was in it for 20 years. I’m grateful to be free! Poor lady. I feel for her.

[@Ivy285]

I've seen abusers in the word of faith theology. It's absolutely to be avoided. People like Kenneth Copeland are out to manipulate for their own gain.

[@maryt7468]

God doesn’t call a couple to different places. If a wife says it’s time to go, it’s time to go.

[@FilthyMcNasty69]

No

[@jygood3718]

I've been counseling missionaries home on furlough for 35 years. Dr John your advice is spot on. These people need to get back home ASAP I feel scared for this caller

[@GameChanger597]

Thank you for sharing your view. It's good to hear a Christian councelors advice

[@AnOriginalYouTuber]

I've been in a nation where there was no common language. Its surreal walking down the street and being a curiosity behind glass. When I found an English speaker, suddenly, the country felt normal and I felt I wasn't a stranger in a strange land. What she feels is no small matter!

[@calebburghardt3391]

I used to be in ministry and was this guy. My mind wouldn’t be changed until it was too late. Lost a good relationship, huge mistake.

[@Ivy285]

I wish this "minister" and more people like him would learn from your mistake.

[@GameChanger597]

I commend someone who can admit a mistake like this- it shows they have learned a lot through humility. But this guy's actions tells me he doesn't have a close relationship with the Lord if that's how he's operating with his "ministry" and wife.

[@tobilaskowsky7450]

Based on my experience with church, I was actually blown away by John's response to this woman. I really expected something like "well if God has called you to be there, you have to endure it and make it work." This was very powerful and I am so grateful for John's kindness here.

[@ItsNjabulo]

Biblically, ministry begins at home. (Christian) marriage is a representation of the relationship between Christ and the church, where the husband’s love for his wife is to emulate and represent Christ’s love for the church (Ephesians 5); and Christ prioritises his church. This lady’s husband seems to be more focused his ministry outside the home than his ministry within in it. But even Paul notes in 1 Corinthians 7:32-33 “an unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. But a married has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife.” God wants husbands to prioritise their wives, please them, treat them with understanding (1 Peter 3:7) and be considerate of their well-being. He doesn’t have to forsake his calling or quit ministry all together to achieve this. He also doesn’t have to wait for God to give him a special word because He already said it in the scriptures. Celeste, pray for your husband, and recall 1 Peter 3 and Philippians 4:6-7.

[@eurekahope5310]

Fantastic comment! I agree, family ministry comes first. The second greatest commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself. Your neighbor is the one with whom you cross paths or interact. Is any person a closer "neighbor" than your spouse? And husbands are to have Christlike, sacrificial love for their wives. I also believe that God gifts us for our ministry. If, despite years of prayer and effort a minister cannot even communicate with those they desire to serve, it seems likely that is not the ministry for that person. The caller is still eager to be minister but in a place she can be effective. Many of the most respected missionaries did not stay in their first mission area. God eventually placed them in the place they could be most effective. I will definitely pray that the husband will consider that the debilitating struggle of his helpmate is reason to serve God elsewhere. And, as the Great Commission states, that ministry can start in our neighborhood and is not confined to "the uttermost parts of the earth."

[@CombatVeteranReacts]

When she describes being highly isolated, having major life decisions approved by the "pastors", and being required to use special language that discourages individual feelings or autonomy- that is a cult, not a ministry

[@carolynngockel3670]

Yes.

[@selfui7769]

My husband is a Pastor and when I was crying a lot in the first place that he pastored. He told me if nessecary he would leave ministry because our marriage comes first. A few months later he realised that that church wasn't a great fit for him too and we started to explore the thought of switching churchs and soon both felt like god was calling us to leave. Now we are in a church where we both are a lot happier

[@GameChanger597]

I wonder sometimes why people don't pray and ask God BEFORE they make a serious move like this. It just seems like a Christian whose lead by the Spirit would ask God first. I'm glad your husband was so supportive

[@angelafair6492]

Whew, i feel for her . Her husband is around, but not really “ with her “ .. she is isolated . She has to pick herself and trust that God will work it all out for her good. ❤️

[@AshleyLebedev]

Well said.

[@vanmamawannabe6360]

JOHN, this is one of those videos where I wanted to reach through the screen, hug your neck and say thank you for doing what you do. You stood up for this lady when she couldn’t stand up for herself, you helped her see that she was #3 in importance on her husband’s priority list, and you helped her see the exit. And most importantly, in my mind, you helped her see that not only is she not a jerk for wanting to get out but that her body has been desperately signaling her that she needs to get out. May God bless you and keep you, John.

[@offgridjack5779]

If she continues to stay and stuff her emotions of anger, frustration and "rage" as she mentioned, she will end up sick with cancer and if she dies, he will run out and find a good "doormat" that will do whatever he wants and will completely forget about her. LEAVE TODAY!! You don't matter to him at all.

[@thegiftofgabby5581]

He doesn’t see it as a feeling but that’s exactly what it is. Sad how people are confused by certain aspects of religion. It’s not all bad, but when it goes bad it really goes bad.

[@jacosisaba]

Most of the evil in the world is rooted in religion. How much death and violence has been caused because of religious beliefs and the arrogance of the psychos who abuse it. All over old books and fairy tales. When religion goes bad, people die.

[@tl4633]

As a man, I don't know why he would need to ask his "Pastor" for permission - Give me a break.

[@offgridjack5779]

That other couple are his surrogate parents it sounds like and he doesn't want to stand on his own two feet in the REAL world. She's paying the price.

[@LisaLisaCJ]

I’ve been in one of those churches. They will scare you with curses if you don’t know any better

[@Oberon44]

you have no idea how many millions of people in the US are living like that - pretty much every nondenominational christian church functions that way, they are called shepherding cults - it’s a very subtle kind of cult but they are everywhere and do most of their recruiting on college campuses sadly, when kids are most vulnerable right after leaving home. They use the kids that are born into the church as “missionaries” to the college campuses through the dorms and Resident Assistant positions.

[@sglacf]

Maybe theyre financially depended on them

[@vaska1999]

​@TheCrimeDogBowWow 😮

[@melissab3217]

Thank you Dr. John for calling out how maniputive the church and her husband are being.

[@Ivy285]

Agree.

[@Petruskinhap972]

What if he has a mistress there and that’s why he doesn’t want to leave. 😮😮😮😮

[@wufflerdance9481]

was thinking same thing

[@florencia2771]

OMG! I needed to hear this validation. Perfect timing. I ended up in Alaska and it’s been 18 years. I couldn’t leave because as a single mother of a special need child, it was too expensive and I didn’t have resources nor family to help. I’m finally moving soon but people are being negative about it, they try to discourage me, to me leaving is survival, the winters affect me so much. It’s real. I feel bad for the situation this lady is going through. I can relate. I hope she finds a solution.

[@nomadic_orthodox]

Wish you the best!

[@molly5262]

Best of luck to you! I totally understand what you mean about the winters getting to you. I need the sunshine & warmth for my soul.

[@wenchyfoodwench4098]

He’s abusing her. She needs to move. And hopefully he will go with her.

[@colleenmccann1190]

Leave. You are not his priority. Plain and simple.

[@lw1814]

“We’ve become different people because our lives change” That is so true. You either grow, stay stagnant, or fall back. The beauty of it, is that it’s your choice. You’re not the same person as you were 10yrs ago. And you won’t be the same as you currently are, 10yrs from now. That’s life.

[@katherinefellman9676]

It is always moving forward or falling backwards, but never stagnant.

[@desertcat4193]

I feel sad for this lady. By her voice it's clear she's not going to do anything to help herself. I'm not sure why she called.

[@nicolab2075]

I think it will be very validating for her to hear that Dr John is so firmly on her side. She may not be getting that anywhere else.

[@GUITARTIME2024]

Caller, go to the U.S. embassy. Get their advice.

[@selah5792]

100%

[@GUITARTIME2024]

@ashleyn8946 of course she has their passports. As far as leaving with the kids, that's where she'll need legal help.

[@Joyjoyjoy4]

It can be so awkward and isolating to not speak the common language, even on vacation. I can’t imagine being in that situation permanently as a pastor where your job is literally to connect with people. Her husband is being really unfair.

[@somethingyouhave]

True, but thats never permanent unless you choose it to be. Nobody lives IN society for 8 years and doesn’t know the langauge, unless they’ve isolated themselves and others have enabled them by not requiring they learn. You could never be taught a single thing, but immerse yourself in society and you’d learn the language in just a couple years. She doesn’t want to be there and likely never did want to be there, that’s why she’s never allowed herself to learn. She’s not mentally and emotionally committed to the place.

[@vince8520]

What the hell are they doing there: this is a 99% Muslim country. They're also at war with Armenia. And i don't think she can leave the country with the kids if the father wants to stay. This is not a country where you just hop on a Greyhound bus and get off in Atlanta. I think the situation Much More serious then John realize.

[@jordanbutters844]

As someone who survived a Cult like Christian church this sounds all too familiar.

[@selah5792]

She’s not safe and doesn know it - full blown cognitive dissonance. This is a very dangerous situation.

[@andydufresne5297]

This reminds me of my family, though not quite the same situation. Essentially, Dad wanted to stay where we lived (foggy, cold, windy weather 9 months a year), but Mom hated it - the weather mainly, but also her disappointing and stressful marriage - and she developed a lot of bad health problems including depression and migraines. She kept saying she _needed_ to move, but Dad didn't care, he was contented there. He would occasionally say - after a crying, emotional outburst from my mom - "Fine, if you really hate it that much we'll move" but then nothing would happen... until my mom's next outburst, crying jag, etc. After maybe 5 or 6 years of this, Mom began planning and implementing a move on her own. Not sure how this happened, but Dad eventually got on board. (Maybe she threatened divorce?) End result: Moving was a game changer for my mom's mental and physical health and I believe it saved her life (though not her marriage, as you can probably guess).

[@GameChanger597]

Dad sounds very selfish but mom also sounds like she's not too good at compromising. So sorry it didn't work out

[@andydufresne5297]

@@GameChanger597 To clarify a bit more, Mom had to raise 4 kids (though Dad did help out with chores) and also work full-time because Dad didn't earn much money. Partly that was because he grew up poor and had many days where he went hungry, so even making a meager but _certain_ salary like $15-20 bucks a week (decades ago) seemed princely to him. He was satisfied with that, even though obviously with a 6-person household, it just wasn't enough. There were constant fights over bills and money problems, and to her credit, my mom did everything possible to stretch food, supplies, clothes further--even further than you can imagine. Even decades later, when she could afford to not pinch pennies so much, she still did all those things you do to stretch everything farther. Anyway, imagine having to feed and clothe and raise 4 kids and spend 8 hours working and then trying to juggle the bills, all in a location where there is very little sun more days than not. Plus, there were no relatives or life-long friends to help her get through. From my POV, Dad rarely compromised (probably because he didn't need much out of life and he was not a deep person who thought much about others), and when he had to compromise (for example, if he did not like the restaurant chosen for a birthday dinner), he let it be known that he was not happy, so we could not really enjoy the experience.

[@CaToRi-]

Tell your mom that this woman from the Caribbean admirers her and that I wish my mom had her guts. 🤗

[@slothisasin8240]

​@@GameChanger597 But should we compromize our own health? It's one thing to compromize on things that we want or need to some degree, but when it starts affecting our health; should we put up with stress and unhealthy situations? Where do you think the line should be drawn?

[@eleanorcampbell9597]

God this is so sad. That poor woman! Don't think she will last 365 days before she's driven insane.

[@greenAbbot]

I’m not disagreeing with anything Dr John said, but how do you convince someone who believes they are following the word of God of anything?

[@ga6589]

You don't, IMO. All the caller can do is save herself and leave.

[@cinnamonToast0724]

You really can't. Especially if they have forgotten what they've been called to first. The Bible says that the husband is to love his wife as the church; he's clearly not doing that. The home should be the first ministry.

[@alexnightray3204]

You can't really argue, let alone introduce another perspective, to someone so convinced in their own "truth" and "calling" because they're always going to be right and you're always going to be wrong in their eyes. It's a degrading and discouraging existence living with those types of people.

[@janelleg597]

The word of God says to love your wife.

[@Samanthasupernovaa]

The Word of God says to love your wife first, family is the priority first ministry . The husband and that church sound like they are twisting things and making up their own doctrine.

[@seagirl1100]

This has to be the most important call I have ever heard. I hope she goes home way sooner than 365 days. Very concerned! (90 days seems too long of notice.) 8 years she has endured in this scenario. (Lots of Prayers for them!)

[@lsgsrob2102]

I've been waiting for God to tell me what the winning numbers are for the powerball and I still haven't heard anything. I'm really hoping in the next 40-50 years I will but I fear it will be to late by then. God Bless.

[@lillybethford1915]

It’s absolutely annoying when some folks hide behind the ‘waiting on God’ as an excuse to procrastinate, or simply be forthcoming with whomever. Someone stated that his wife being unhappy should be a sigh and they’re correct. Coming from a religious background, I’ve witnessed the hypocrisy to control others and I suggest that she take care of her mental health by leaving. The Bible says ‘man love your wife as Christ loves the church.’ Also, ‘Faith without work is dead.’ My friend, love yourself and leave.☮️👍

[@ggleam88]

Best thing I've learned is if you think something is a calling from God but it contradicts God's teaching or makes you fall into sin than its probably not from God. A husband not taking care of his wife's well being for a job totally contradicts God's teaching....

[@rameysavoie7442]

Screams CULT to me

[@lavenderkisses9461]

I was this wife about 5-6 yes ago, when I finally got honest about what I wanted and needed my decades of depression lifted, chronic fatigue of 15 years left, life is sooooo much easier now and enjoyable as a single mother of 4 than ignoring everything God was telling me.

[@lavenderkisses9461]

@@destinydave7776 yes!!! No more fighting to exist ❤️❤️

[@allisona6482]

I lived over in Georgia (the country) in a village and it is not for the faint of heart. Hopefully her husband realizes that he will be able to make a greater impact somewhere else.

[@dougprentice1363]

I cant see how any mission work can be useful if you cant communicate.

[@boxerchick702]

Before God ever called any husband to any profession, place, anything he called husbands to love and sacrifice for their wife. A husband is called to love his wife as Christ loved the church. Christ gave his life for the church as a man should be willing to give his life for his wife. It is so sad that this woman is being treated this way. If God truly wanted them there she would find comfort through Him in the time being. Women can be called just as strongly as a man and she’s being called away. I hope it resolves.

[@laurag6807]

It can be common of missionary families living in other countries/cultures. Mental health can often suffer for one spouse in the name of "following God's will" if childhood issues aren't addressed. I lived this growing up.

[@raedorin979]

I lived in Alaska for seven years because that's where i meet my husband. I loved it there but after having kids i couldn't get outside MOST DAYS. The winters are so long cold and dark. The summers are cold and rainy. I was lonely. I couldn't sleep in winter because i would have horrible violent nightmare about my babies being crushed or suffocated or frozen to death and no matter what i did to stop it they always died and then i would die. It was so beyond depressing. My husband moved us!

[@paddingtonbear760]

I’ve lived internationally for more than 50 years, experienced the joy of integrating into many societies and learned to some degree of proficiency a huge number of languages. The fact that she has failed to make any progress in Azerbaijani has to be a result of her intense unhappiness. One of many “signs” for the husband if he’s paying attention.

[@Lisa12T82]

On the mission field, if it’s from God that you are meant to be there, God will have you both on the same page. He will never put you both on a different track as you are ‘one flesh’ in this marriage. Disregarding your feelings and thoughts on this, is him being disobedient to God. Just my opinion

[@Hlaford2009]

"Anyone who neglects to care for family members in need repudiates the faith. That’s worse than refusing to believe in the first place." The Bible.

[@candyluna2929]

He isn't being called to anything. He just wants to do that...why? Bad taste in life.

[@gjeffrey14]

It's because of stupidity and gullibility.

[@Ivy285]

I agree. He is not called because here his wife is miserable and sick. His first mission should be his wife.

[@elainebmack]

One MUST pay attention to their feelings. They are there to guide you and will save your life.

[@JC-xu1cz]

8 years...She needs to leave even without him. Just leave don't tell him so he can't stop you from leaving. Plan your ESCAPE carefully. The wife and her well-being means nothing to him.

[@CG-MP]

this is the exact mentality of the church I grew up in. Every single person was making decisions based on their emotions, but pretended they weren't. Everything was presented as "God is telling me", which in my opinion is the epitome of "taking the Lord's name in vain". I've seen so many obviously stupid decisions made, and when everything fell apart again, it was "I must have been misled". Complete lack of accountability. Yes, this went all the way up to the pastor.

[@amyhunter5105]

If your neighbor speaks a need you fill it, if yiur wife speaks a need you ignore? Make that make sense.

[@mwhe3111]

Man, I am so depressed for this lady.

[@lauraleecosgrove3796]

This is why affairs are so prevalent in the church. Imagine living under this kind of control and condescension. The first person who listens to her and validates her would be like breathing. Leave no one can live like that forever.

[@Magdalene952]

I can't imagine what she is going through. We don't live outside of the US, but we are far away from family. My husband made it very clear from the beginning that if at any point I couldn't do it anymore, I need to just say so and we will bug out. I'm grateful for just having that freedom to be heard and taken seriously. I pray for this caller's safety and hope that she can find the peace she needs and deserves. ❤🙏

[@offgridjack5779]

He'll get a clear vision when he sees the back of the plane leaving the airport with her and the kids on it to never return!! Pack up and leave!!

[@Ivy285]

Very true.

[@offgridjack5779]

@@ashleyn8946 Can you contact the people at Ramsey's office to get a referral for a lawyer to help you and the kids get out of there? They might be able to get you some info.

[@nikkikc9145]

Azerbaijani is a Turkic language and very hard for English speakers to learn for sure. If the caller is located in Baku, though, there are probably a lot of people around who can communicate in Russian- this is true of most former USSR countries. I 100% concur with John and most of the commenters that the caller should make a plan to leave, but while planning for that is underway, it may be helpful to learn basic conversational Russian in order to have more mobility and safety while living abroad. Russian is a major world language so there are a lot more resources to learn this via apps and online programs. I picked up a bit of Russian as a teenager from friends who were immigrants and still use it from time to time in NYC and while traveling despite not being Russian myself.

[@toxigenic]

365 Days? I would pack up and leave in 30 days. Let's see how fast he gets his "calling" then. I hate how she's essentially smothered her entire personality to fit in with what her husband wants. It's really sad.

[@Ivy285]

Agreed.

[@slee2695]

Yes..60% divorce rate in America...keep it up self centered western women

[@CharoChas]

When I was probably 14 or 15 years old, I found the inner courage to question the way I was brought up, be honest with myself, and accept that I'm simply a non-believer. Luckily married someone with the same beliefs (or lack thereof) and I guess I need to stop finding myself surprised when other adults have fully committed themselves to something I sincerely don't' believe exists. So my question is - what does it feel like to be "called". What signal or what would her husband feel would convince him that he was being summoned away from where they are now? Is it a direct line to god, a sign in the sky, an interaction with someone? Just curious. It comes off as a justification or an excuse to just do what he wants to do. Edit: WOAH props to John for asking the same exact question.

[@frankcardano4142]

It’s a wonder why John is still a believer.

[@funnygaming2672]

im also going to give another option that maybe you did not think of you can believe in God without religion .Every prophet in the Holy books did not have a religion just a belief of God. religion create division and hate to others groups and god dont want that !if he was on earth and he would enter a church the church goer will condemn him the same has the prophet Joshua ...Joshua preach to every body and everyone and they were no hell in his speech .I believe in God his existence not the labels /organization that are men made.

[@ajo6751]

The only comparison I can make is to think of it like your conscience. If you did something and now feel guilty why do you feel guilty? How do recognize it as guilt vs just another feeling? Being led to take action or serve is similar but usually involves several occurrences over a relatively short time period. It usually is internal- feeling drawn to do something or stop doing something- and external- interactions with others, conversations that you suddenly are having that you haven't previously, sermons that touch you deeply. You can study the bible, pray, and seek out other believers to confirm that its God's will vs your will as well. I have known a few that will simply state they are being led in a direction they are not certain of and would like prayer but will not share details so that our opinions do not cloud their judgment. They simply ask for support. HTH

[@alluringbliss4165]

I haven’t been called but I wrote to God expressing my anger because O suffer from Complex PTSD. One or 2 weeks later, I felt Jesus around me. He told me that I did not have relationship with him which was true since I would pray when I want some things.

[@CharoChas]

@@ajo6751 Interesting, thanks for the information!

[@EveryoneIsEqual101]

He is manipulating u and not giving u a say. Not good red flag.

[@jessehudson1318]

This is why so many spouses hate their husbands’ ministry vocation. It puts the spouse 3rd and it’s unbiblical and often borderline spiritual manipulation. When the ‘calling’ is subjective and ‘of the Lord’ then how dare you question it? It’s turning ministry into an idol.

[@debfox]

I’m getting abuse vibes from him. Isolation is a HUGE sign of abuse, so is not listening to her at all!

[@selah5792]

Agree

[@thecramptons]

Yea, cult

[@avocadoaficiando]

When Dr. D asks her if she's considered moving back to the States and she responds by telling him that "I don't know if that's the right thing to do - to do that to him" (her husband), I wanted to reach through the screen and give her a (love)shake! Her husband has made it VERY clear that she's not his priority, and in fact, as Dr. D demonstrated, she's actually *third* on his list of priorities, so if he's only concerned about himself and she's seemingly only concerned about him, where/when will someone feel concern for her?

[@tomjohn5635]

Her wanting to move should be the sign he needs.

[@9liveslisa]

Her husband should be concerned about his wife. Not being able to converse with other people is a major problem. They will both do better in an environment where they can both speak the language. If he keeps her in Azerbaijan, he is very selfish IMHO. God is speaking to him through his wife's misery. Fix it dude!

[@Ivy285]

Very true. They are both Hispanic. Not sure why they can't go to a Latin nation instead. Or reach Hispanics within the U.S. He refuses to listen to what God is clearly leading.

[@ScurvyRascal]

Listen to the advice, Celeste! I kept quiet to keep the peace and ended up with Lupus. My rage and anger turned against me. Please, listen to him 🙏🙏🙏

[@thisis.michelletorres444]

He needs to love his wife like Christ loved the church; Christ gave his life for the church! Eight years is a long time to allow your wife to spiritually, emotionally and mentally deteriorate! If I were her, I would go home! It's one thing to get advice but don't let church folks RUIN your life with things that are NOT BIBLICAL!!!

[@lisacraft9929]

When my husband was a child, his father, who was a minister, moved their family 17 times. From state to state. It madr my husband miserable. His dad was selfish.

[@oc2538]

Being isolated is awful. If she cannot speak the language or communicate, she's going to be bouncing off the walls. I live in a country where I speak the language but it can still be isolating. If I couldn't even communicate on a day to day basis and to do my job...well forget it. She isn't fulfilling her life's purpose. She sounds afraid of him. So she's not allowed to use the words "I feel" sounds ridiculous. I'd say our feelings are very reliable. And I'd say if it isn't a feeling, it is a fact...she cannot speak the language and is unable to do her job! And the fact is he's chosen a JOB over her. He's selfish. Maybe she was on board, but it's awful.

[@lifeaccordingtotheo9643]

I'm wondering if she has channeled this feeling of being a second class citizen in submission to her husband to connect with women there in Baku and understand them better...that trapped feeling that many of them experience. We learn many lessons in many places and many ways. Maybe her calling is to now go home and assist refugees, knowing truly how displaced they feel for many years. Marriage counseling will be needed with a real counselor not your church pastor. Those with stewardship over you should always encourage you to get your own answer for yourself. Disregarding your wifes depression is not of God. Don't let them tell you that your lack of faith is the problem, it's not. You have plenty of faith, now you need to stretch it enough to call a lawyer, pack up, and head home to your family and friends and start over.

[@cinnamonToast0724]

I wonder if she isn't able to communicate with the women there because of the language barrier. She mentioned it briefly and I'm thinking they're probably dealing with mostly people that don't speak English or Spanish :(

[@gueraconsazon]

She’s the calling !

[@1whical]

God will never create division in a marriage. If he spoke then both will be on board and in agreement.

[@Kamingo170]

he seems to do it and let it happen daily though

[@redbarnhomestead7384]

Her HUSBAND is failing at his #1 responsibility. I hope she finds freedom from this oppressive situation.

[@catholicfemininity2126]

As a Catholic Christian... a lot of people are so ignorant about being 'called' to do something... most of the time they are totally wrong about what they think God wants them to do.... first off... if you are in charge of a family, they come before anything else 2nd to God... and God would never want you to harm your family in anyway just to follow him.

[@Joce123]

She's worried about whether that she should do that to him all my gosh and he doesn't care about her

[@rebeccavance551]

A mans first ministry is to his wife and family. The Biblical instruction is that a husband is to love his wife as Christ loves His Church

[@Jackaroo.]

Get a microphone and a hide it. Hire someone that sounds like God have have him command your husband to move.

[@honeylemon2372]

😂 noooo😅

[@midnightblue117]

OMG....that’s a good one!😂😂😂😂

[@avocadoaficiando]

This is classic emotional abuse. Isolate your spouse by moving them away from friends or family (or in this case - even anyone that speaks the same language or shares the same culture/religion!!!) then guilt-trip and gaslight them into believing that they will be "acting against God" if they leave. I shudder to think what comes next

[@RachelTomeTampa]

365 days? I’d give him three months maximum. I pray you have a support system back home in the USA.

[@AN-jw2oe]

It’s true that one shouldn’t ONLY rely on and listen to feelings when making decisions, but there is definitely a way to listen to feelings as an indicator of what is going on inside your mind and heart, which you can use in conjunction with using your brain to make wise and discerning decisions.

[@MichaelJones-rn2pq]

"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her," Ephesians 5:25. It's time for this guy to start serving his wife. He can be a missionary in his own house, where it is needed most.

[@johniii8147]

I'm not religious but totally agree with John on this one. This whole "calling thing" is total bs. It's just an excuse to use when you dont want to do something or to manipulate people to do what you want to do with. It's a key part of language they use in Cults.

[@sakinastraveldiary4562]

My husband wants me to settle in Kerala where they speak Malayalam majorly and I dont understand one word spoken in Malayalam. When we were dating he told me i would be uncomfortable there because he realized their culture and language issue would make me feel like an alien. He offered to move to my city - Mumbai. Later he brought up the plan to move to the United States. He found a job in the U.S. and came back to marry me. And literally ever since he has told me our plan is to move to Kerala one day (the day he feels we are done with the U.S.) I feel like her everyday. I can't be at peace in the U.S. because one day he will blow it all off that I am working towards in the United States and building for myself. I might move with him because I i can't blow my marriage off but its unfair.

[@slk1451]

Living in Amarillo had the same affect on me.

[@dorianmorton67]

God speaks to use though the Bible, circumstances, and other people. God is therefore speaking to him through his wife. He should be looking for confirmation of her requested move in other places.🇨🇦❤️

[@biologygirl91]

I remember hearing one pastor say that if both your marriage and ministry is a calling, God won’t have you sacrifice one for the other.

[@territ1231]

She needs to leave... Say I love you, but you aren't controlling me anymore with religion but i need peace!! Also I wouldn't wait a year!! 2 months!!

[@rayf6126]

I'm going blind and the attacks of panicks are usually unreliable but it got to the point that I finally accepted a cane because the anxiety became a condition of my day. Celeste, you're at the point of it being a condition of your day, please take care of yourself.

[@sungear]

I believe strongly that revelation does happen. Trouble is, without boundaries people can appoint themselves as a spokesperson for God. After a while they start to think they are never wrong about anything. This turns into tyranny. Happens all the time.