my IUD tried to kill me.

[@simonegiertz]

❤

[@eddiewiller]

Thank you Simone for being such a good friend to your fellow content creators (and presumably your other friends too).

[@odesseus]

You are also very awesome and deserve love and happiness (not in a weird internet stranger way), and thanks for helping Xyla out.

[@hendrickziegler8487]

Hooray to you, Simone! That seems like a damn positive influence! What I wanted to post before seeing your actual answer: I'd like to imagine that Simone just randomly shows up on other youtube channels for a cup of tea or two, improves mental health left and right and then leaves to presumably build 7 actually not that uninteresting little projects. Or a shitty robot.

[@twoheadedpanthr]

You seem like a really good friend to have. Glad you're around.

[@SianaGearz]

Thank you!

[@ElectroBOOM]

I'm really sorry you had to go through this, and makes me angry at those doctors who confidently "know" something when they don't know! But now that YOU know, I'm sure a whole world of opportunities is opening up to you. Good luck with everything! PS: Dear People: hormonal or chemical imbalance effects everyone mentally and physically, man or woman or anything in between. If you don't feel right, have someone check your parameters!

[@eeellbee]

Well done Mehdi, well said. Thank you. Hay were are all the other KZbinrs??? Maybe a rocket man...?? This would be a great time to chime in guys, let's support a great person.

[@TheRealSkeletor]

Honestly it's a really unscientific view for anyone to take that they just "know better" with confidence in spite of all evidence. I think it's important that we all remain as humble and objective as possible, always be ready to "check ourselves" when we're feeling overly confident about something, and keep the Dunning-Kruger effect in mind.

[@wiktordiy6033]

I am very glad, that people on KZbin are so supportive for each other wgen someone is in trouble. Those moments restore my faith in humanity

[@Lizlodude]

​@@TheRealSkeletor The frustrating thing (not necessarily my experience with this of course, but a bunch of other medical and safety things) is how hard it often is to find good evidence in the first place. Many people (myself included) don't have the expertise to actually draw conclusions from a pile of research papers and studies, or have the time to try. And that's assuming that there even are accurate studies on the topic available. On the one hand, its amazing how much medical advancement we have in the modern era. On the other, it's astounding how little we actually agree on a huge number of seemingly very straightforward to test topics. And how much discourse there is on topics that have been pretty unilaterally proven already.

[@NordicRest]

I'm pleasantly surprised to see you here, Mehdi! I'll echo your thoughts, and also say that I'm glad to see you empathizing with, and supporting other makers on KZbin. You're setting a really good example.

[@bigghoss762]

As a man I don't know what it's like to be on birth control but I do know how it feels to not want to be alive anymore and I also know what it's like when a friend makes that choise. I am glad you're still here and that you're doing better.

[@ruglund]

you said just what i wanted - thank you. and thank you Xyla for being so strong to tell your story.

[@nefariousyawn]

Ditto.

[@unnamed7462]

Waitt, is she married?

[@MusikCassette]

@@unnamed7462 Y r u interested?

[@jasongreene303]

@@MusikCassette @unnamed These comments are exactly why women talking about topics like this are made uncomfortable.

[@2DGraphicDesign]

The most unfortunate aspect of KZbin flagging this video is that they are flagging it for the wrong reason. This is a video that young women under the age of 16 should has access to too.

[@wodmarach]

Whenever my wife has had hers replaced (once for age, once after removal for a planned pregnancy) its been drummed into my head by the nurse I need to watch her for the next 6 months for suicidal tendencies these things are brutal on some women 😢

[@xylafoxlin]

Wow, that is SO great the nurse talked to you about it! Not a single medical professional either time told me 😢

[@wodmarach]

​@Xyla Foxlin I think it's one of the differences here in the UK, mental health side effects are closely monitored with free therapy available on the NHS when they are spotted.

[@consaka1]

Perfect example of nurses doing their job.

[@Zscach]

​@Xyla Foxlin it's not informed consent if you aren't informed, absolutely not good enough of them.

[@thereisnospace]

@@xylafoxlin since i dont want my wife to go through this type of stuff i am trying to convince her to let me do a vasectomy.

[@hacksmith]

❤ you and Allen were there for me at one of my lowest -- if you ever need anything at all, like anything, I'm here for you. Thank you for sharing

[@mattdiehl83]

I hope you are doing well James

[@80sGameGuy]

The content treadmill must be very tiring. To anyone out there, don't feel obligated to make content, and likewise for viewers don't feel obligated to consume it. There's just not that much time in a day, and it needs to be spent taking care of yourself and living life!

[@mattygunn693]

As a veteran who suffers from PTSD and a severe depression disorder, I just want to say I'm glad you're still here.

[@AcuteStressResponse]

We are glad that you are still here too. Stay strong and keep fighting the demons.

[@kgrach]

As a Marine Vet myself I really understand. At my Doctors insistence, I started an SSRI almost two months ago and it's been life-changing. I am so sorry I didn't do it years ago.

[@thorwaldjohanson2526]

​@@kgrachin happy to hear it's working for you. Everyone is different and what works for one might not work for others, but SSRI together with adhd medication pretty much saved my life. From being in bed literally 22 hours a day and failing university to now a few years later, having my dream job, a great relationship and functioning and feeling normal. Anyone going through issues like that, I highly recommend to reach out for help and not to be afraid that. See a psychiatrist and to try medication. It's not a guarantee, but it might really help.

[@swiftarrow9]

As one of the “mostly male strangers on the internet”, I just want to say I’m so relieved to see this post. More people need to know more about this topic. I’m so sorry for the struggles you face, but let me tell you, the world is a better place with you in it! Your infectious enthusiasm and excellent content in your videos have helped me through a very dark time. THANK YOU! And Be well.

[@timsmith8506]

Not sure about you, but the first video I saw of hers I said “pretty girl using a power tool, let me check this out” I’m glad I did, because aside from the fact that she is an attractive female she is extremely intelligent, hard working and an amazing role model for the next generation. When she talks about saving for 8 years to buy a plane….that’s just incredible.

[@GreenDayFanMT]

Same

[@SoapyCilantro]

Hope your well man!

[@thethoughtemporium]

So sorry you had to go through this, but glad you're doing better and figured out what was going on! Sounds like a nightmare.

[@dittilio]

Hey, can you genetically engineer an implantable uterus, and some ovaries, so these doctors can get a good old first hand sense of the difference between period discomfort, and crippling agony of a bad case of endometriosis? Or I suppose just a pill that let's them experience the sensations without the organs.

[@heron5045]

@ditto a bad patch of depression does that for ya, no matter the origin.

[@andy_warb]

Thanks for sharing Xyla. I actually think your audience (mostly male) needs to know about this more than anyone so that we can support those around us if they fall victim to it. I wish you all the best with your journey!

[@rubikmonat6589]

Absolutely, I had no idea of the risks until my SO went through pretty much the same thing. The alteratives can increase cancer risks too. I had the surgery so she didnt need to take all the health risks any more.

[@jl3trepanier623]

I second what Andy says.

[@DavidVerch]

Totally agree, good to hear from a female perspective.

[@ssc00p]

Yeah... us males are even more unaware of this kind of symptomatic issues of IUDs... we needed to know too...

[@stevennagley3407]

@@rubikmonat6589what surgery had you completed, I’m just curious that’s all

[@edrose5045]

As a male stranger on the internet, I just wanted to say that I believe you. I'm so sorry that you've gone through all of this, and I'm so glad to hear that things are getting better. I also think it's really inspirational that you've found the strength to make a video like this, and I'm really looking forwards to seeing what you've been working on!

[@giefuser]

Here is another male stranger who believe you. Similar things has happened to people near me. Your health and wellbeing is non negotiable.

[@Khelgar]

All of us male strangers have mothers/ wives/ sisters/ daughters. We may not fully appreciate the devastating effect these hormonal imbalances have but most of us are sympathetic to them as we have seen the tears and the anger and the sadness. Why it is still considered taboo to discuss these things openly is beyond me. Wishing you the best of health and a quick return to a balanced happy life.

[@robmatthewswoodturning4988]

Exactly what i came to say. I'm a male stranger, I believe You, Xyla.

[@CrhestonMitchell]

Ed, you made "male stranger on the internet" sound like a hashtag for "a caring person that doesn't need to know you to show compassion". There are a lot of us who have watched / experienced cures that are as detrimental as the disease. I won't change the subject from birth control... but I think there are a lot of supportive "male strangers on the internet" who can relate in surprising ways... No topic should be taboo if it saves a life or makes someone feel less alone.

[@toddstewart4579]

Here Here! White dad of 2 hapa daughters here. Thanks for giving us a great example to show our daughters, just by being yourself. We're not going anywhere :)

Simone is like a quiet angel in the background of KZbinrs cheering them and convincing them to talk about difficult things through pure love. ❤

[@BrianHurry]

She is a great friend to her friends

[@ScotttheCyborg]

The shitty robot phase was nice and funny and it's great to see her expanding beyond that.

[@kaboom-zf2bl]

myself I prefer to look at as destroying victorian morals by being open and honest about ones health ... if it hurts t do something then say so .. no one reads minds ... so we need to speak openly about problems so those younger can be well informed abut the future choices they will need t make and already have a lot of the information they already need ... like having the sex talk with kids ... the talk is decided by them really ... when they start asking you start answering sure a 3 year old isnt going to need to know the fine details while an 18 year old would benefit from them ..

[@ethanmilton7083]

Honestly my already-existing admiration for Simone Giertz has doubled in the last two days after seeing her step up to help both Xyla and Diana and make sure that that bad-news that we all needed to hear got heard. Huge round of applause. Xyla, I'm unbelievably glad you felt you could trust your community with a video this vulnerable, and I'm happy to hear you're doing better. I follow you on social and I could not remotely tell something was wrong, so this video was quite a shock. Praying your upwards trend continues.

[@justinraywolfe]

41-year-old male veteran with PTSD, anxiety, and depression here. You're not crazy. You're not alone. We're all here for you.

[@pachuagfirearmsrestorations]

My daughter took her own life and I'd do anything to change it. If your words help one person it's worthwhile. I applaud your courage for talking about this. ❤️❤️

[@firstprinciples9366]

Xyla, I'm an engineering school dropout who found another career. I felt I wasn't good enough when that dream died. Your channel brings so much joy to those of us who genuinely love creating and building new things. Please know you're supported, and cared for deeply.

[@burningsporkdeath]

I dropped out of a chemical engineering program in 1997. Later on I went back to school with a bunch of transfer credit and slammed four years worth of mining engineering out in four semesters. I've been out of that school now for almost 20 years and out of Colorado School of Mines since 1997. I am hitting the category of "very successful" (income next year should be over 200K) in the mining industry I still have nightmares about the Chem E program. Not finishing that degree feels like a huge failure to me despite my success in engineering, including direct application of stuff that I learned in that Chem E program. On a side note, despite having a degree, I have never been asked by an employer to provide a transcript or a copy of my diploma. Don't let it eat you up, it damn sure does not make you a failure.

[@firstprinciples9366]

@@burningsporkdeath I sincerely appreciate your reply. I dropped out to care for a terminally ill spouse. I went into nursing and have found great satisfaction and success. Far more than I ever imagined. I have toyed with going back, but I've been able to apply the knowledge from my time in mech engineering to my current profession. In regards to Xyla, you have an amazing channel. I don't subscribe to many channels, yours I look forward to. You have novel projects, give layman instructions while not alienating the more knowledgeable. You will get through this. You have our prayers and support.

[@kayakMike1000]

I especially loved the cedar stripped canoe, I built one myself

[@danielbostrom129]

Xyla, please know that you are loved and appreciated. I can’t imagine what you have been through. I’m so glad that you have a doctor that listened to you, believed you and didn’t just jump to baseless conclusions like has happened to me. My thoughts and prayers are with you in your continued recovery.

[@WartimeFriction]

My mom had to fight for years with doctors telling her that "she was fine" and "she just wanted" meds. Finally she found a doctor that took her seriously, and within months helped her find the root cause of her problem - a hernia or growth on her brain stem. Doctors not taking their patients seriously and especially telling them "you're fine" when they're there to tell doctors that they're not fine, that's a huge problem across America and likely the world. Thanks for talking about it.

[@dovahbear0]

Oh ya, get that shit with the VA all the time.

[@GeekyNeil]

I'm a random man on the internet and am sorry to hear you've been through this. It's shocking to hear about the lack of data. These things need to be studied so that practitioners can give the best advice. I hope you continue to get better.

[@henrey1284]

They have been extensively studied. But powers that be prefer the people to be sick and dependent through debt and sickness. So you can't axes those studied very easily using normal communication sources. Hormones control all emotions.

[@ywsx6489]

Another safe and effective product from big pharma.

[@ALZulas]

As one of your few female viewers, I feel for you. I've had doctors tell me "it's nothing" while I'm literally covered in bruises because my body is eating itself. Even female doctors tend to downplay women's bodies as though you're just over reacting. It's really hard to get doctors to believe us. I'm glad you kept insisting something that something was wrong and that it needed fixing. ❤

[@KayleeKerin]

There are dozens of us! Dozens!

[@allstarwoo4]

@@KayleeKerin I was bout to say. I know STEM isn't as popular with women but Xyla's channel is an exception and I hope it inspires others to be excited about STEM.

[@8114梦见]

I find Xyla hugely inspiring as a woman in STEM

[@myentertainment55]

I am sorry it happened to you. I personally as a male found that doctors were not serious to my symptoms and suggestions and were always trying to search for less significant things.😢 I respect doctor's opinion , but it is recommended to ask 2nd and 3rd opinion and continue to push and ask if have doubts. We all need more assertiveness and confidence and fight for ourselves ❤

[@erikanders3343]

There needs to be a whole lot more medical studies of women's health that are not based on Victorian ideas of "normal". Even little things like BMI need to be tossed out a window. i have a female love who literally her entire normal BMI is muscle and weight for her height (Scottish Japanese mix). you add in her bones and a normal bit of fat and they declare that she is over weight. This is a woman that gains muscle mass just walking by a gym.

[@BernieDiaz]

I just told my grandkids about your channel, particularly my two girls. I want you to be an inspiration for them. Get help please when you feel you need it. You are awesome and we want you around for a long time. I enjoy your videos so much. I am an engineer as well, retired when I thought I still had so much to give, but that is society for you. Kick you to the curb when you finally realize you have learned something.I love sharing that knowledge with my family and friends and realize there are people out there - like you - that do a much better job using the latest social media resources.

[@rij8189]

My wife has just gone through the exact same thing although it came at a time of upheaval so it took a while to realise. She pulled hers herself and immediately helped. Like your story she spoke to her gynaecologist about bad reactions to other hormonal birth control and it was brushed aside. She felt she couldn’t tell people how bad it was because she though she would be told she was crazy. Thank-you for talking about it.

[@GrubbyZebra]

This video is totally on brand for you and your channel. Empowering girls and women through STEM is one of your core messages, imo, and being able to openly and frankly discuss health concerns is a huge part of that. Also, on point w.r.t. the FAA and mental health. Absolutely boggles the mind that they seem to prefer untreated or self-treated pilots instead of diagnosed and managed conditions. Keep on doing you, you are an inspiration to many.

[@Heeby-Jeebies]

Well said. Completely agree!

[@mgd09050]

Every one of us here would rather have an alive Xyla than ever see another video. You are incredibly strong and we are all rooting for you!

[@bseward21]

❤ I Love your honesty and sharing your experience . It will help others ! I had only seen your teardrop trailer video and was amazed by you so I decided to subscribe then I saw this video. You are only 26 ? I’m 73 and you’ve already done more than I have. Stick with it , you go woman ! God bless you for sharing your experience, strength and hopes with us. I feel you are a lovely person to know here and in person! Keep doing what brings you joy ! Can’t wait to see what else you do !

[@DavidLee-xz2tl]

This is the most important thing I've watched in ages. The implications of chemical control the pharma industry has, the incredulity of the medical profession, the personal impact and need for more information expressed so honestly by one of the most intelligent and vibrant people ever, ...there's so much to digest and be genuinely concerned about. Thank you SO much for posting this. You're always inspiring and thought provoking. Now you're opening up topics that are so urgently marginalized and not ever even considered. Thank you Xyla

[@wiktordiy6033]

Xyla, I am a 17 year old male, and I have 3 older friends that are on birth control, I know that with every single one of them, there are a lot of diffrent problems. I am glad, that videos like these exist and You help to educate others, and You are speaking out loud about this topic. I wish you all the best!!!

[@zerocharisma15]

My dad sent me your video and I just wanted to thank you so much for your strength. I went through the exact same experience and described it almost exactly the same way you did. I felt insane, out of control, like someone was piloting my body against my will. And for the longest time I constantly felt like “if I could just be stronger” or “if I could just suck it up” then I wouldn’t be affected the way I was. But hearing you talk about your experiences was so validating. I’m so sorry you went through that, but I want to thank you so much for making people like us feel less alone.

[@freman]

It takes bravery to speak up Xyla, this video is eye opening and that's from someone who understands how hormones can screw you up. If more people talked about this and it became part of the awareness of general population then there is hope for an improvement in the situation. We all suffer in silence but we don't have to.

[@turbokadett]

Xyla, thank you for speaking openly and honestly about your experience, it takes an incredible amount of bravery to open yourself up to strangers like this. A former partner had an IUD fitted and her entire demeanour changed; she went from being happy, caring & whip-smart to emotionally cold, spiteful & cruel. Thankfully she spoke with her doctor, relaying my and others concerns about her personality changes, had the IUD removed, and began returning to the wonderful person she was. Her account was that during the time she had the IUD, inwardly she felt nothing, felt empty and my and others attempts to help were taken as being hurtful and critical. To everyone out there, please look out for your partners, friends and family's mental health, it's ok to not be ok and never hesitate in asking for help. ❤

[@Clipdix]

I remember talking to my gf when we first started dating and her saying why she was so afraid and unwilling to use hormonal birth control. As a man I really was not aware of all the risks. None of my ex gfs or woman in my family had ever mentioned so I had to re educate myself and realize how intense it could be for woman. Thank you so much for bringing your experience into attention

[@rileyanneoh]

Thank you for being strong enough to speak out. Ten years ago I survived Toxic Shock Syndrome and my Dr told me that most modern cases are like mine: caused by a brand new tampon, not forgetting one in. But because it's rare, like what happened to you, no one really talks about it or bothers researching it. It can feel so lonely to be that statistical unlikelihood, and I know the exhaustion of making ourselves feel whole again makes it hard to have the energy to talk about it. I'm proud of you and grateful you're here to share your story.

[@Timber1508]

Xyla, up until this you were one of my favorite content creators. Now, you are also one of my heroes💙 As a random internet dude who struggled with depression for decades, I know how much bravery this took. Thank you.

[@Seefood73]

Can concur. Some 15 years ago I tried to switch out of prozac and find something better. Cycled 3 other alternatives with the doc, and it totally fucked up my relationships, cognitive and social abilities and cost me a job. At the end I went back to the devil I know and only now, 15 years later, burnt out but with a very supporting wife, I'm risking that change again. But this is survival. I can't imagine keeping an IUD in my body even one minute after learning this. There are so many other options these days.

[@slickfast]

Thank you for posting this. My wife has an IUD that's going to need to be replaced soon, and this is definitely a conversation to have that we are going to take into account. I'm really glad that you happened to have the support network around you that prevented things from being truly permanent. Makes me sad and angry that the modern system we're a part of has flaws as deep and blind as this. You're an inspiration.

[@lucyedelstein8025]

The side effects and realities of female contraception are not talked about enough. I try to talk about my experience with it as much as possible and I'm so glad you made this video. I followed you at Christmas and was wondering why I'd not seen anything from you. Really glad to hear you're feeling better and I wish you the best with your recovery. Looking forward to seeing what you've got in store!

[@zantawolf]

I was frustrated by birth control too. It was a struggle.

[@whorhaydelfuego7190]

Reproductive and Mental health are both so stigmatized that it makes discussing them, finding help, and even finding information about them so much more difficult that it needs to be. I'm really glad to hear that you've got a successful support network that help keep you with us for another year. Because we as a society need amazing people like you. Take care of yourself, prioritize your health, and we'll gladly wait for your next video regardless of whether or not it ever comes.

[@luckyskaven13]

100% this. Also, at least this male viewer on the internet believes you and agrees with your assertions

[@nobodynoone2500]

They are often stimatized for a reason. I won't go into it, but suffice to say taboos don't just spring up randomly in culture.

[@luckyskaven13]

@@nobodynoone2500 they are common, and swept under the rug because of puritanical BS. Those "reasons" are bad and harmful.

[@incognitoburrito6020]

​@@nobodynoone2500 Our society and culture are very different now than it was when those taboos were formed. We live in a more interconnected, knowledgeable, and _healthier_ world than the first sedentary agricultural societies did--it's up to us to decide if the taboos we trace back to then are still useful. Think about how differently people in times of severe child and mother mortality, with no reliable way to prevent pregnancy, might think about sex and reproduction than we can today.

[@ihmesekoilua]

Man. I can't tell you how much I love Simone, every time she shows up somewhere it's made better for it.

[@hkara2010]

Xyla, I am someone who has seen a few of your videos and KZbin put this one up on my “wall” to see. I am an Ob/Gyn doctor and I am so sorry you had to go thought this mess. Your doctors really don't know what they are doing. It is not difficult to become a physician, it is more difficult to really understand human physiology and subsequently pathophysiology. Many doctors understand the basics and couldn’t or didn’t process your symptoms and you have suffered so much. It pains me to hear of stories like yours and unfortunately, I hear them time and time again especially with pelvic pain. Yes, your symptoms could have been managed differently and properly with a change of medications that would not have resulted in you becoming so depressed. It is well known in the OBGYN community that progestins like the one in your IUD can have serious mood changes and your doctors should have LISTENED to you and taken appropriate action. So many doctors are quick to dismiss symptoms and that troubles me so much. Unfortunately, it is hard to find good doctors who LISTEN and UNDERSTAND. We go to Medical School so we can take care of the whole person, not just one part of the body we specialize in. I wish you were based in New York so I could have taken care of you. Harry Karamitsos, MD

[@valmikabeneteau7229]

Well Harry, I am not depressed or in New York but I have to say I wish I was (in New York). You sound like a great doctor and those are hard to come by nowdays. I'm not sure if it's the way things are managed now or the actual person though. For some reason this video isn't playing so I went down to the comments to try to figure out what the problem was. I had a GF in the 70's that had a problem with her IUD and just wanted to see if it was the same issue still. Yours happened to be the first one to explain it fully. Thanks

[@allcaster]

As a guy dealing with mental issues himself the part of how it effects your life and career hit me hard. Glad you're feeling better!

[@insidetheblackbox7602]

My wife has experienced IUD hormone induced emotional issues in the past. Mental and emotional issues from any cause are truly one of the scariest things to watch from the outside or to look back upon. I'm so very glad you're still here. Thank you for being willing to be vulnerable and sharing this. Take the time you need to start getting your life back together.

[@OddBike]

Thanks so much for sharing this with us Xyla. It's a shocking thing to hear, not just because of the gravity of it (and the shocking lack of understanding that still plagues anything related to women's health) but also because you are a beacon of talent, skill, intelligence and kindness in the world. It's hard to reconcile how someone so amazing and so inspiring can have such a difficult time, but that's the reality of mental/physical health we often gloss over. You have a legion of adoring fans who want to see you succeed, but more importantly to succeed in a way that remains good for your wellbeing. Keep being awesome and building cool ass shit!

[@ferdievanschalkwyk1669]

For anyone watching this, let's crush this taboo of not talking about mental health. Staying silent is the worst option. Good luck Xyla! We love you and the work you do.

[@1320crusier]

Wonder how much the mental health crisis is due to the amount of drugs pumped into everyone.

[@Pocketfarmer1]

4:10 why do you think that sucking things up and being in physical and emotional pain all the time are only the lot of women? It’s all of humanity.

[@bbqfire6199]

People are not trustworthy and just try to sell you crappy medications

[@joshmaxwellreinerallen3521]

You are one of the greatest role models for my daughter and your ability to talk about yourself like this only proves how valuable a voice you are to everyone, especially aspiring engineers and makers like my daughter

[@Darth_Doug]

That's a genuinely scary experience you're going through. I can't even imagine how difficult it must be to talk about something so personal in front of thousands of people, but it was really good of you to do it and I hope you, and anyone else living through similar medical troubles, can be taken seriously and get all the help they need. We the fans are all here for you in whatever capacity you require, and are sending all the love and support your way. Also a big thank you to Simone for helping you with this story, she's been an absolute sweetheart lately helping people, much love to her too.

[@wroughtiron9224]

As a fellow pilot, I hear you. I went through a time in college where I was to afraid of losing my medical and destroying my career to seek help. As someone lacking a uterus, I appreciate the insight into things the women in my life may be experiencing. As a fan, we're here for you if and when you want us. Take care of yourself and pass along thanks to your friends for providing such a strong support circle. Thanks for sharing, and for the fantastic content you make for us.

[@jsnow2007]

I'm older than your parents. I am so impressed with your character, integrity and intelligence. Watching this was so painful as I related to this as a father. I wish and hope the very best for you and know that you have what it takes to conquer this. You are a wonderful person. Take care. We will be here for you.

[@timsmith8506]

As a father this was painful for me as well. She is so extraordinary and a great role model for kids.

[@Poundy]

"Cool, Byeeeee" perfect ending for today's installment. Don't ever feel not good enough, your content is great (and greatly varied) and always cool. As one of the large % of males in your audience, I do applaud you for talking about the challenges you've been through. I truly hope you are back to feeling like your "old self" soon, I'm sure we'd all love to see more new stuff with you being you - whatever that is on the day!

[@JCWren]

Unfortunately, "Don't ever feel not good enough" is easy to say. But hormones don't listen to your brain. Intellectually, I have to believe she does know she's good. But when hormones come calling, rationalization and logic can go out the window. Everyone has (or should have!) a little self-doubt. That's one of the factors that drives self improvement. If you're not questioning things, you're accepting the status quo. It's when that self doubt or questioning your worth goes off the rails that people's lives start crashing and some start looking at "alternatives" (not gonna use the 's' word, don't need the Artificial Stupidity flagging posts). I completely agree with the rest of your comment. (disclaimer: I'm part of the male % here).

[@Johny_5]

Damn Xyla, so sorry to hear you've had to go through this (again)! Big thanks for putting this video out there - it really is a huge issue around women's health not being taken seriously in a medical context. I hear it time and time again from the people close to me :( I think I can safely speak for all of us here when I say we're all very glad you're still with us, and we'll happily be excited for upcoming build videos

[@makermatthew]

Well said !

[@CaseyDoranWritesCode]

thank you for your candor and your bravery in opening up about this deeply personal topic.

[@keibohow69]

The question you must ask your self is what were you like before you started using a IUD.

[@J-WOT]

The book "Your Brain On Birth Control" was very eye opening for me. I ended up asking some female friends of mine if they knew potential side effects, and they weirdly enough weren't informed by their physicians at all. Like that it blunts cortisol women's system. Cortisol is also needed for the ‘fight or flight’ response, which is your healthy, natural response to perceived threats. The amount of cortisol produced is controlled by your body to ensure the balance is correct. I'm not against birth control, but it disturbs me the amount of information that is not communicated to young women before they start taking it. Glad your feeling better :) and I hope things continue to be better.

[@ragaloft]

Xyla, thank you so much for telling your story 🙏 I (nerdy male viewer) am so humbled by your integrity and courage. Somewhere out there a woman will be saved because of this video. You have stood in harm’s way for her. ❤

[@RuneONy]

I very rarely comment on videos, or indeed anything online, but this is important. Thank you. I'm a man and not affected by birth control, but I've seen others be affected. It's a big and serious issue that isn't talked about or taken seriously enough. Even if I don't have the underlying cause of birth control side effects, I do have a good bunch of mental health issues and it always makes me proud of someone who dares talk about it openly, no matter the reasons behind them. One day I'll be that person for somebody else. You inspire me, thank you and good luck on your road to full recovery.

[@DaddyOgr3]

My wife went through so much with oral meds and had an even worse go of it when she tried the injections; and while this was back in the 90s and early oughts for her, your story resonates, and it is heartbreaking. I just can’t fathom in this day and age a physician, most notably a specialist, not taking such horrifying experiences and their timing with one significant medical change seriously. I am thankful your PCP had more consideration, and I am thankful you are on the mend. Your content has always been a joy to watch, because it’s always seemed honest and so full of passion. You take care, first and foremost, and I, for one, look forward to seeing whatever content you are willing to share on whatever schedule you can manage. Our little digital worlds are brighter with you in it.

[@carldraper9323]

Xyla, Never doubt that you are amazing. I started watching your channel because of the wonderful things you do. You have inspired me to get off my duff and do things I have always wanted to try. If you just turned 26, you are just a year older than my oldest 2 granddaughters and you have accomplished so much. I have also had issues with suicidal thoughts but I did not have to deal with the medical / hormonal issues that you did. You are stronger than I ever was or will be. This 70 year old man looks up to you and I wish you all the best. We have missed you and send you our hopes, strength, love and prayers. Please get well, keep up the good fight and continue to inspire us with your zany exploits.

[@Ruth_Amos]

Woah! Thank you so much for being so brave and open, I bled continuously for the first 6months I had my IUD- the doctor had no idea. Didn’t realised the % was so much higher at the start 🤯 their needs to be more open conversation about this so thank you!

[@bridgetl.303]

I share my wife’s account, but it’s her husband writing: Xyla, I’m so happy you’ve made it through these past few months. My wife has had similar experiences throughout her life, and she was also not understood by her doctors. I hope this helps thousands of women who are also affected so strongly by hormone therapy.

[@eyescreamcake]

But seriously, why are doctors such shit? Some doctor posted a video about "listening to your body" and not ignoring symptoms, and there were hundreds of comments about "I do listen to my body, but the doctor ignores my concerns and brushes me off" with hundreds of upvotes each.

[@motosk8er2]

Catfishhhhh

[@joshuambean]

I 100% believe you. I suffer from a series of chronic illnesses (POTS, MCAS, ME/CFS) and am mostly bedbound. I know how hard it is to get my doctors to believe me and I'm a middle-aged white male. It breaks my heart to see all the women on the support groups that I'm a part of and how many doctors treat them completely horrible and don't believe anything they say. It's brutal how bad our (I'm actually from Canada, but I think there's a lot of similarities in this aspect of our healthcare systems) doctors can be in treating patients. So sorry you had to go through this. Thanks for talking about it. Wishing you all the best.

[@stevenwild39]

My teenage daughter has POTS, but we can't find anyone in the medical community who even believes it's a thing, so I understand where you're coming from. I myself have fructose malabsorbtion, which hugely affects my general wellbeing as well as my mental health - again, not something a lot of doctors know much about or subscibe to. @xylafoxlin, I'm glad you're starting to come out the other side of this, hopefully your video will help a lot of others who don't realise what is causing their side effects.

[@WildSheGoes]

Thank you Xyla for opening up about this! So glad you are feeling better but very mad your pain wasn't acknowledged sooner. I'm sure this video will help in spreading awareness. Sending you a supportive hug ❤

[@WthyrBendragon]

I'm so, SOOOO proud of you for having the personal strength to record, edit, and post this! Two things that are ridiculously understudied in our healthcare system are mental health and women's health. Whenever you are having a rough day, remember, there are literally THOUSANDS of people out here who know (not just think) you are awesome, and beautiful inside and out.

[@voiceofintelligence]

The most important aspect of "informed medical consent" is that we actually be informed. Pharmaceutical companies need to be held to a higher standard than is currently the norm. In too many cases, they are able to buy off doctors and politicians alike to get their products approved and promoted when their safety is questionable at best. I am so glad that you are on the mend. I have rarely seen anyone as universally adored as you. It makes me wonder how many women who possibly lack your strength, and support system are quietly just "checking out" without anyone knowing the actual cause. Thank you, Xyla, for having the courage to raise awareness.

[@paulgerg6879]

I have to admit that knowing about this issue with IUD's was something I was unaware of, so just the fact that you are mentioning this online is a positive thing. I went from being pretty much the happiest I had ever been into really depressed over about 6 months in my Thirties and it all goes pear-shaped so fast! What REALLY helps is recognising it in yourself because until you see it in yourself and realise the changes are needed, no-one can really tell you that. This video seems like a step in that direction, so it is a positive step and it hopefully means things are getting more positive for you. Find small things that make you happy, mine is a nice coffee and cheese and crackers and I do this every day, as my brain is now conditioned to gain a small dose of happiness every time I eat or drink this stuff - I also know it is cheap and it means that even when I am financially wrecked, i should be able to do it. Don't feel guilt about not posting, it is FAR more important to help yourself and we are fans, so we aren't going anywhere. Take your time, you don't need to fake it, just take time and be there for you, if you do that then you will eventually be there for us again. Am in my Fifties now and I have learnt one thing - life is always a bit of a bugger and the trick is to realise that sometimes it will all go wrong and that builds resilience in a person and resilience can help you more than you know.

[@helloarigato]

You are worthy, you are loved, and you are more than enough. Of course people love all the amazing things you make and do. Your talent and creativity are an inspiration. But your worth is so much more than what you do. It's who you are. That will never change. It will never go away. You will always be enough.

[@bryanhumphreys940]

Don't have a uterus, but have had major depressive disorder since 19. I feel for you. Thanks for all you do, it means a lot!

[@bikerfirefarter7280]

Psilocybin, Ayahuasca? see Dr John Campbell's recent take on You-tube.

[@Guitarorpheo]

I take your word about this immediately. I have seen women go from happy, bubbly, engaging, to depressed, unpleasant, etc. Hormonal birth control is in my opinion, from my experience, a nightmare for many, and it is high time we find different solutions. Male contraceptives included. Xyla, I wish you all the best. You're an amazing person and content creator.

[@ww-pw6di]

Absolutely correct and the fact that research and development into male contraceptives is consistently defunded or suppressed despite not coming with even remotely the same kind of hormonal barrage as women's contraceptives is nothing short of heinous. Every single male friend that I've talked about this subject to would happily take and use a pill, implant or whatever form contraceptive if it was reversible. It's especially fucked up because the mechanisms female contraceptives work with can result in permanent dysfunction of the reproductive system shortening the already very short span of window for women to have children. Never mind the significant body of research that shows exactly how damaging they are to the people who take them.

[@BakerStudiosIndy]

Xyla... You're one of the most endearing personalities on KZbin. Some would assume you are larger than life. It's easy to forget that you're human. While what you endured was both tragic and unfortunate, the important thing to focus on is the fact that you endured. You didn't give up. You availed yourself of your support network, and your overcame the obstacles. Thank God you are back. In the process, you are a shining example to other facing tragic obstacles in life. That makes you a hero in my book.

[@themorgandodge]

I know that this is old now, but I just watched this and wanted to thank you for making this video. Truly.

[@randxalthor]

Thank you for posting this. We're glad you're here. Our medical system is all kinds of screwed up and we need your voice and so many others from marginalized groups to keep bringing attention to the unfair struggles you face so we can all fix them together.

[@phil_townes]

What you've been through is awful and shocking, and I'm sorry this has happened to you TWICE. This video must have been super hard to make - thank you for having the courage to make it to shine a light on how physical health and mental health are linked. It's more than likely that you'll have saved at least one person's life. So, thank you, and please never apologize for how you're feeling. Glad you're still here.

[@cosmiclightbulb7056]

Just making this video and being open about what you've been going through is a thank you to your community. I'm glad you've got people around you to keep you going, and I am grateful you are brave enough to share this with everyone.

[@jimlarson777ify]

I'm a Dad of 4, who believes you fully. I am excited every time I see one of your videos, I'm just sad that you have undergone such a terrible experience. Here's a bit of my life that hopefully will cheer you up! My son is 17 and in 10th grade, and in the past 3 months he has purchased a 3D printer, a Sewing Machine, a CriCut, and taken up Crochet. I am just so excited with his next project, but he gives me the same feeling when I see what he is doing, as you and all the makers here on KZbin! You should see the fully lined crochet bag he just finished! Hoping you continue to get better fast! Never fear, we will be here whenever you release content!

[@vbaspcppguy]

I wish we could normalize talking about depression and suicidal ideation. It would help a lot of people. I'm glad you are making it through.

[@lovedancepripri]

The fact that it took over a decade of personal work and investigation to get the awareness of our bodies that we have now in our late 20s 😭 here’s to hoping this video and your transparency inspires more research on birth control with studies covering more ethnicities and diverse people. We need more data, better communication, and clearer information getting to our womxn and young teenagers.

[@ligh7foo7]

I have FODMAPs and it has taken 10 years to get a diagnosis and another 8 for the supermarkets and cafes to catch up.

[@sampsonlau]

🤍

[@salvatoreshiggerino6810]

Womxn?

[@JamesBrophy]

Supporting a partner who was being killed by her birth control really shocked me by how little my half of the population is educated about them and how often anyone with a uterus gets talked over while their horrible and dangerous experiences are ignored and minimised by healthcare professionals who arent trying to be bad at their jobs, they just don't make mental space for the 5% of folks that birth controll has a massively difrent effect on.

[@ekaa.3189]

I wouldn't count on it. I've had ME/CFS at a disabling level for over 20 years. It took tens of millions of people getting long covid to spur much more dollars into research.

[@AndrewMalkin]

It annoys me that KZbin flagged this video. The messages in here are things that everyone should hear. I'm glad that you're doing better and have found such an amazing support network.

[@applicablerobot]

Agreed. A system ostensibly intended to prevent promotion of suicide has been used to censor reproductive rights information in this case. Troubling at best

[@flightisallright]

I think its understandable given the title.

[@RickBrennan]

I actually think it’s possible Xyla flagged it. She gave her own waning mid video in the lower third.

[@donpeppers6681]

As someone that suffers clinical depression, I have an understanding. You have my support. I always look forward to seeing your videos.

[@joshwilson3114]

I would like to say that I do not ever want you to feel guilty for not making content. We all enjoy your content and want to see more. I look forward to your video's and more than once you have inspired me to try things I may not have done in my own. However, what we want is nowhere near as important as what you need. Your channel is not leaving my subscription page whether it be two weeks or two years between videos. Your work ethic is infectious, your attitude is uplifting, and your skills are absolutely amazing. I am glad you have great friends and a strong supportive family.

[@kellilandry2825]

First of all I’m super happy to see you! Thank you for posting this video and talking about your experience. You’re not just explaining why we haven’t seen much from you, you’re potentially saving someone else’s life. Women’s health issues need to be talked about and women need to be listened to, it’s that simple. This information really could help someone else seek the help they need, so huge thank you!!! Shout out to all your friends and family who saw your need and were there for you. This channel is yours so you get to talk about/show us whatever you want or need to. Thank you Xyla! I really appreciate you taking the time to share with us! ❤

[@Dd-wi8bk]

As a male I cannot imagine what you are going through. I do have 2 daughters so I'm very imspired by you message for them. It is great to see you have such a strong support group, thank you to them!

[@NIronwolf]

I'm just one of those guys that watches once in a while. I was choosing between two videos to watch while I had a little time and I'm glad I picked this one. I'm glad you're doing better and I'm thankful for you sharing your experince to bring validation to others going through any similar experience.

[@andrewedgecombe]

Your strength, determination and desire to make the world a better place by telling your confronting stories. You’re truly an amazing person, Xyla. 💜

[@jeffmikula331]

You are seen. We believe you. We are here. And we’re so grateful you are too. My world-and the world-is better because you’re in it. And this video is further proof of that. ❤

[@ellafoxoo]

Xyla, your bubbly excitement for being a maker has been a huge inspiration for me to start on my own journey! Please take very good care of yourself, and don't give up! The medical system really needs to do better. It friggin angers me that we can't trust our own doctors to listen and take us seriously. Sending you my best wishes 💜

[@jasonkay42]

Thank you having the courage to share this. Man, woman, or otherwise, we're all human; we all have pain, emotions, and-especially in this day-we all deal with the oddity of modern medicine and the hurdles of aging. It's no surprise that Simone was a supportive force, she is the queen of frank health discussion among YT makers. One thing that you briefly touched on, but needs FAR more attention: how little medical research, drug trials, and follow-up studies are performed with a focus on women. It's a massive problem in medicine. But, again, thank you for speaking up and sharing this most private of issues. I really hope your friends, family, and community are as supportive as you absolutely deserve. Best wishes for a return to normalcy and good health (physical AND mental).

[@theolittlestone6406]

I can say that as a male I do very much believe you when you said that the birth control messed you up emotionally. I know how hard depression is and how hard it is to keep living because I have been there. I want to say thank you for making this video. I am really passionate about bringing awareness to all forms of mental illness and to get it more expedited in the world. So I want to say a huge thank you for making it and being open about your struggles. We need more people on the internet talking about it.

[@pvic6959]

as another male, i second this

[@IBIScnc]

Thanks for being so open. You motivated me to stop putting off my vasectomy, because I don't ever want to be the cause of my spouse having to endure what you have so bravely gone through.

[@empireofpeaches]

Good on you, Gator. Women often do the heavy lifting of birth control for years, I think men should be encouraged to take over once the child-birth phase of the relationship is over.

[@csn583]

💯 same. I've been hedging my bets but I'm calling it. 5 minutes of research dispelled all of my doubts. (Fast, cheap, effective, no hormone impact.) No brainer to never again see a partner dealing with these side effects. Regular menstruation is bad enough! We all need to seriously look at our options on the "supply side" as the economists call it.

[@cfdys]

You’re a brave woman. Thank you for sharing your life with us. 😊

[@erich_kubart]

Hi Xyla, I recently found your channel via the makers secret Santa of 2023 and I’m glad I did your projects are amazing and so are you, I so glad you not only were able to figure out what was happening to you but have the courage to make this video which will both help you and others that may not be aware of this. I myself have gone through a major life changing experience about 26 years ago that changed my life forever and unfortunately no one knows what happened nor how to fix it, so I’m so glad you were able to figure out what was happening to you and by the look of it you are working your way through this very difficult time. I will be, like many other here watching your amazing videos and your amazing smile as you have fun learning and building your amazing projects. So Thank-you for being you and again I’m so glad you found your way through that unfortunate situation. Take care.

[@taboc741]

Hormones are such crazy uncontrollable forces in our bodies. As someone who has been suicidal all I can say is congratulations. Fighting a constant ever present battle in your own mind is so exhausting and giving up is definitely the easier option. I am very proud of you for carrying on, telling your brain constantly it's wrong, and for somehow doing it without medication. I am also very glad you're starting to feel better. I hope your body stabilizes soon and you can go back to being the amazing person you normally are.

[@nebnoswel]

I can't express how much I respect you making this video. You exist in a world of creators and makers whose most important asset, both professionally and for their own happiness, is their mind. And yet it's still somehow seen as inappropriate to discuss mental health. The sooner we can destigmatize these discussions the sooner we can end needless suffering. You're doing an amazing thing and I'm grateful.

[@EliotBeer]

This is an incredibly brave thing to post - and it's so, so important. I think it's also good it's going to reach your mostly male audience, because so many of us have NO IDEA about this stuff. And no idea about the basic lived experiences of so many women - which causes massive problems. So thank you for putting yourself out here to talk about this - and I'm so so sorry you had to. I hope you continue to feel better - and I hope this spurs some conversations and some awareness, and helps others too. x

[@rossbagley9015]

I believe you 100%. By age, you could be my daughter and I am in awe of your projects, your ambition, and your achievements. To hear that you were in so much pain and so far from good is heartbreaking to hear. I'm glad you're feeling better, and I don't expect you to be "Perfect Xyla!" all the time. "Good enough Xyla" is still an amazing young woman. Lots of love from Seattle.

[@patricknothen4635]

As someone with mental health issues for the better part of my life; turning 37 this year; I want to tell you: you’re not alone. Take care of yourself and get well soon.

[@rymats]

As someone who has been suicidal I think it’s amazing that you are able to use this platform to share your experience. I am incredibly grateful for my friends who I was able to really lean on but none of them [and truly I am ecstatic about this] had ever experienced being suicidal so I just felt really alone. Seeing videos like this really help and give me hope.

[@JohnBrown-z2u]

Not an IUD, but my girlfriend got a new birth control pill when we were in college and her personality changed immediately. What you described sounds really familiar. It was horrible for her. Once she figured out what it was she stopped taking it and I ended up getting snipped. It took her a while to get right. Things didn't work out between us but I will always think very highly of her. She went though a lot with that and some other stuff. Extremely strong person. Good luck to you.

[@deanallenjones]

I came here to say exactly this. My gf wanted to go on the pill as a precaution, we were happy using condoms as well. It got really tough for her and I'm ashamed to say 20 year old me in the mid 90's didn't have the resuources to research and the understanding to help her as much as i should have, She stopped the pill and felt much better. We parted ways a few years later but I'm still ashamed I didn't dfo more to help her. It sounds like an excuse but these things just weren't talked about back then, which is why I have all of the respect for Xyla talking so openly about this

[@Antropovich]

You went through a vasectomy and she got better. Then you broke up and cannot now have children. I am going to say that using condoms would have been the way to go. That would have made her extremely extremely strong person.

[@misium]

​@@Antropovich You get to freeze the swimmers, so technically you can have children.

[@ArpanMukhopadhyay93]

​@@Antropovich you use condoms of you want. Let others not use it if safe from STDs. Personal choices!

[@terristroh3965]

You got a vasectomy in college, so like 20, 23? I was bedbound and suffering every period , begging doctors every chance I got to pull it all out. They refused, saying I’d want children some day despite my insistence at NO! I couldn’t find a doctor to help me until I was 45. I’m feeling so much better..That’s the disparity in reproductive health.

[@crunchysteve]

Props for speaking up! My youngest daughter(only a few years older than you) had problems with her IUD and had it out. She hasn't shared a lot of the details but but her mood improved almost immediately. That you've chosen to keep using one and work out how to live with it is courageous. That it's your choice is beyond question. Again, your courage to find your way and to speak up for others in your boat is so admirable. I admire your workshop stuff and have been following you since your caravan (trailer in "australian") build and your willingness to contribute light to what can be a very heated topic, is something else, as a father of 3 fiercely feminist daughters, to admire about you, too. Stay strong, your fans love you, the others can go to hell

[@dalekslayer777]

I know the comment section can often be very polarized due to creators editing them or not, but I hope with all my heart this comment section is unedited and proof that mindsets are changing. Everything I have seen has been so positive, hopeful, and supportive. Anyway if this is an indication of anything it at least shows what an amazing person you are to draw other positive people to you. Wishing you luck and health!

[@francowharton4484]

I'm so glad you posted this I am a husband and father. My wife and daughters have dealt with Drs who do not believe them or take them seriously. I have seen how women's medical care is worse than men's medical care in so many ways. It's important for women and men to know it's ok to get a second and even third opinion if they aren't getting the care they need. I'm glad you are doing better than you were and I hope you continue feeling better. I'm rooting for you.

[@sdarwkcabogtnod]

Firstly, no comment from a stranger can mean enough, but I'm so glad that you are safe. I have to say that I'm very excited for more videos from you. My 8 year old daughter enjoys watching you, I'm an engineer, but I can't share with her my work environment, so I show her yours. we build her school projects together and I always ask her to remember your examples. So we are both excited you will be posting more!

[@marinerskm]

: : hugz : : from your old stomping grounds in Ohio. I did not know how to respond when I first watched this, but I've reflected on it for a few weeks and have decided it cannot go without comment. I have been in awe of your work and your insight, and carried along with your joy and enthusiasm -- you are a rare gift upon the face of this earth. That you had to endure this -- twice -- and you find the inner strength to share your story accomplishes the impossible -- I now hold you in even more esteem than ever before. You are surrounded by wonderful people, but when you need them most, you will be unlikely to find a way to reach out to them -- the paradox of such conditions. But, for what this small pebble of reinforcement might hope to help accomplish, hear me -- you are loved by many, and you will get the love, support, and even help -- if you can just break through the force field of that hormonal washing machine long enough to make it known. When you need to make the pillow fort and turn inward, only you can determine that. But when you emerge, go forth and make beauty in this world, Xyla -- you were born for this.

[@jimcarlson3303]

You are a human being, not an object for creating content. Anyone who doesn't understand that, be it a viewer, patreon, or personal acquaintance, doesn't deserve what you have to offer the world. Do whatever is necessary to take care of yourself and kick that guilt to the curb. The real ones will always be here patiently awaiting your return. ❣

[@veizour]

Thank you for bringing this to light! I'm a full custody father of two and my daughter is of age for, and has had "the talk". And one of the things I talked about were how powerful hormones are. It's great to be able to play this for her and show her how fully it affected one of our favorite KZbinrs. Thank you for affirming my lessons. I am glad you survived and I am thankful for everything you do. We all love you in our household ❤️ 💓 💖 💕 you are a bright star for young women everywhere. We couldn't imagine something bad happen to you, and we're grateful for you. ❤❤❤❤

[@Dan_Kornfeld]

Xyla, the fact that you are here, and have the strength and fortitude to openly discuss this nightmarish saga, is both amazing and appreciated by so many people that may be going through similar/relatable episodes in their own lives. Be well, and know there are so many people out there that not only support and care about you, but others that may find themselves in similar circumstances. Keep doing what you do!

[@jnellie1970]

Thank you for having the courage to put this out. Politically, we are in for a crazy, sad trip. This is going to be a rough 4+ years. I don’t mean “thank you” as a platitude, it’s a genuine thank you. I don’t know how your depression changed you but it’s really changed me.