My Parents Aren't My Real Parents | Unpacked with Relebogile Mabotja - Episode 16 | Season 3

A lady shares her story on how she discovered that her parents weren't her real parents when she was older and the pain this shocking discovery has put on her life.
Studio Guest: Lesego Phiri
#UnpackedWithRelebogile
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[@TJ-my9nh]

My wife was already having a 3 year old son when I married her. The boy's father had neglected them but they became a gift and a blessing to my life. From the word go I decided I will give and do everything but the best for the boy. I refused for the boy to stay at her maternal grandmother and to live with us as family rather. He is 16 yrs old now and in matric and I have taken him to the best schools from kindergarten up to now. He is such a great boy and I have done my best to model being a man, a husband and a father to him. I have experienced rejection before and I didn't want him to go through the same thing. From day one I told my wife I want him to know his dad after when he is finished with matric but she has been refusing but I have insisted and it's happening end of this yr. I do t want him to go thru the same pain that I went thru and I will be the one driving him to meet and get to see his father that he no longer remembers, after all this yrs. First we will gently and carefully break the news to him without making him feel like he is rejected. Ofcourse it will hurt and he will go thru the emotions but I believe no child should be denied this truth. He will forever be my son no matter what and I love him too bits ❤️

[@namhlangombane4958]

May God bless you

[@zanelentombi3134]

God lives in you God bless your you and your family

[@wendymdzinwa2096]

Do you think it is necessary to let him know? Eish this is difficult.

[@Leetso]

Thank you Mr TJ we need more men like you ✊, may God bless you and your entire family 💯❤️

[@TJ-my9nh]

@@wendymdzinwa2096 Hi Wendy. I am not letting him know for him to go back to his dad or out of rejection. I am doing so so that he gets an opportunity to choose whether he wants to have a relationship with his biological dad or not so that later on he does not blame us from telling him. We are doing this out of love and I believe things will work out for the better. If he so decides to go to his dad and turn his back on me, though it will hurt I will still have peace bcos I know I have done my best to give him the best and to model to him what being a dad, a man and husband mean. Otherwise, no regrets.

[@tshepangobonetse9286]

The way Lesego smiles when she talks about God😍😍 it's so beautiful😍

[@zetmbonambi4425]

I relate to this topic. My sister passed on and left my beautiful niece who was only 2 years old 😢. I loved her the first day I saw her from the hospital.Her mom was still too young and still at secondary school. Luckily I was working when the kid was born.The father disappeared from day 1,but I told my mom not to worry bcos I was working with no child of mine. The birth of my niece was very great news for our family since my elder brother had lost his 2kids, in a way that no one understood.The little gal.who was 4years old,just fainted infront of my brothers door step and she passed on.So later when my Lil sis died,my niece was only 2 years.I made an announcement to my family that I was taking over and I'm gonna be her mom no Aunt nothing,but mama.She grew up knowing that.When she was 15yrs,I made a meeting with the family planning on how to tell her the truth cos I didn't want her to be angry at me,thinking that I lied to her. Unfortunately one of the relatives over heard the conversation and she went straight to tell her the truth 😢. She kept quiet until I came one day in order to tell her, ,you know what,she just said,mama I already know about that,so and so told me🙄. But fortunately she took it very well and I explained everything and she asked about the father,and I told her ,we never met him,we don't know anything abt him.She just said she didn't care cos she get all the love from all.of us and she will always call me mama as she still does. My mom,brothers and my sister are so great with her too.Today she is 18years old and she is still my little baby.She is so gorgeous and I adore her.I will never stop to be a loving mother to her no matter what.She is just a blessing to me and the whole family.I love her so much and I told her that if one day she feel the need of knowing her dad,I will do that with her,we will hunt him down cos for me, I so wish that he see how beautiful his daughter is,just nje ukumgabisela that's all.We want nothing from him.But my daughter is not interested on meeting him.Not my fault,can't force her.Lets genuinely love all those kids that God has chosen us to be their guardians/parents. Let's do it wholeheartedly .😻 💘😻💜.

[@xoliswamotaung7185]

God bless your heart Sisi ❤ we need more people like you in this cruel world , families are no longer the same

[@chantelsibiya9212]

True❤️

[@neosjournal_]

I love how this show tells the stories of EVERYONE. Not only celebrities’ or well known people , but the voices of people who are just like us. I love it 🥺🥺🤌🏾❤️

[@jaiyaalexandra144]

I actually don't like the celeb stories😂🤣it doesn't appeal to me because I can just Google the story whereas this is news to me. I like getting new information.

[@TJ-my9nh]

So true Neo. This show deals with real life stories of ordinary people.

[@sontomtolo473]

RIGHT!🤞Love it!

[@stellamooibedi9027]

I love it as well, I personally can relate to her story

[@Malekgotla777]

Shout out to the parents who have decided to adopt and give kids an amazing life.

[@malwandemthethwa]

This episode is so painful. I wish family members didn't mistreat children based on truths that are hidden from them. Every child deserves to be loved and nurtured 😢

[@LM-he7eb]

I like the “I think he owes my parents”. I love her gratitude towards her adoptive-parents.

[@REMEDIALDIY]

She speaks with so much power in her . Holy Spirit filled

[@sifisojele4000]

The family that raised this lady may God BLESS them. They are good people. Lesego May God protected you. I love the way you appreciate the family that raised you.

[@stellamooibedi9027]

It's always the ones closest to you that will ruin your life.

[@thobekamthembu5229]

I'm glad that her faith has provided meaning. We thank God for her parents who took her in.

[@noreenm5018]

In African culture, our siblings children are our children. I don't understand these aunties who treat their sisters daughter badly. Thank you to the parents who raised her so well, a beautiful God-fearing young woman

[@LethoHali]

Right!!!????

[@tariromubobo8237]

Very true.All my sisters' kids call mom to everyone of us.

[@user-ip9bw4lo9y]

I think those aunties are jealous of her our black families have real drama at times

[@nkule2493]

I don't understand them either. It doesn't make sense.

[@tebogomokobane8094]

Adopting a child that you never prepared to do is an issue. Going from being stressed by your kids and to instantly adopting other kids with no choice nd having to deal with their different personalities on a full time basis. It's one of dose things where canceling is needed 4 taking over

[@kgalalelolala6963]

A praying woman is a POWERFUL woman. ❤ There is nothing bigger and powerful in this world than prayer 🤝❤

[@khensanibaloyi9362]

I like How Relebogile let her speak without any interruption...

[@kyln4714]

Its sad, but you were not lost, in our black roots, your mother's sister is your real mother, her children are your real siblings. Somehow civilisation has made us forget our roots, but you were not lost, they were your real parents in the absence of your biological parents. I think what is painful is that it was kept a secret and became a topic for gossip

[@LM-he7eb]

Exactly

[@JulandaHarasesnaris]

That does not mean that she didn’t feel the abandonment pain. Let’s not forget that. This should be a reminder to all biological parents to have a relationship with their children even if they are not raising them. If they’ve passed on that’s another healing journey.

[@athinifikile6999]

Sis Lebo, I want to say thank you for exposing us to such journeys and experiences, your show made me open-minded honestly 👏🏽

[@lisamakwakwa9540]

God bless this father who raised you

[@LM-he7eb]

Yes. He is the real hero here. He loved & raised a child he was not biologically related to. He did better than the biologically related aunt.

[@tshidik2801]

Plans to prosper me and not to hurt me... It's true God has a plan...Amen

[@mafokopetrusmokwena126]

I'm shocked that she got mistreated by the family from the mother's side, they are practically her real aunts/family. Shutout to her brother, her sister and the father,power to them✊✊.

[@LM-he7eb]

Yep. And her father’s family

[@mmathabomaleswene1196]

I love how you believe in God sis. God will never abandon you God put you thru this for a reason. Like you said, God has plans to prosper you and never to harm you❤

[@thembisaodendaal]

Her face lights up when she talks about her Father God...I'm so sorry Lesego for what you went through...you are blessed

[@dipuokgole2132]

You an say that again, He is his father indeed

[@una19]

It's so sad how some people have faced rejection throughout their childhood. Hope she finds closure and the love she deserves

[@stellamooibedi9027]

Closure is usually the truth and what makes harder is hearing different "truths "

[@Celebbabies2022]

The way her face lit up when she started talking about God!!!! 🙏🏽🕯️ But she needs proper counseling maan to open up because she cries when certain things are mentioned, so she needs to open up and heal so that when those things are mentioned they don't trigger her n she becomes, sad, emotional and starts crying instead she will smiles , that's when u realised that healing.. Love & Light 🕯️

[@LeyleS]

Her pain is so deep. First step to healing is talking about it. Hopefully this interview is the beginning of her healing journey…

[@mbalithembelihlemahlangu5059]

She's deeply hurt

[@thutompho9883]

I thought I was strong but yoh...I had to take breaks in between while watching this...it was a lot to take in, Thanks for sharing your story Lesego

[@joymaphanga1786]

Lesego, you are beautiful mommy❤️ I can feel the sadness of the inner child in you but I’m so happy that you’ve always found refuge in prayer. I love you❤️

[@wenzilemoyo6069]

Thank you Lesego for sharing this emotional story,may God bless your parents for rasing you with love...God will reward you for the appreciation you show to your parents.

[@nolusizodlalisa5573]

Through everything Lesego said, I couldn't help but be saddened by the loudness of the pain she is carrying. She is hurting so much, and I'm happy that she has God to fall back to but she also needs to get psychological help ASAP😥. I wish you nothing but the best Lesego and most importantly I wish you healing

[@marciajames9434]

Lesego your parents did a wonderful job of showing you what TRUE UNCONDITIONAL love is -a reflection of God's character indeed. You are beautiful inside and out and you SHINE BRIGHT. I believe one day you would be a strong voice for people are not treated kindly by family members -whether adopted or biological. GOD BLESS YOU AND SIMPLY CONTINUE TO OBEY HIS PURPOSE FOR YOUR LIFE!

[@tendanipelaelo6293]

Sorry my dear. I think this lady needs to talk to counselors. She's still hurting

[@kunoongavirue]

What I notice. She need to find peace with her biological father.

[@MPANDEGCOBISA]

Here's to people who take in children that aren't theirs and yet treat them no differently, and with so much love🤌🏼❤❤

[@stellamooibedi9027]

Hearing such whispers as a child messes you up, but because you are a child you don't have courage to ask questions.

[@emmamudau9472]

This was so emotional to watch 😭 A deep unpacking

[@shataditswai2673]

😭😭

[@bhekiekhambule3507]

😭😭😭😭😭😭my eyes are full of tears

[@pointa2b388]

I am glad her religion worked for her though i sometimes feel as though religion hinders one from really dealing with issues at the deeper leve. It forces one to quickly make peace at a very superficial level at times.

[@jaiyaalexandra144]

Healing is a process whether you are a believer or not, even science has its limitations. There is a difference between being repressed and going through the valley but still worshipping.

[@noxolosakang6547]

Religion gives Resilience, that is why suicide is so high within the non believers countries.

[@pointa2b388]

I like how she owns her sensitivity

[@sinazobogicevic3442]

I think we should be mindful when trying to distinguish between biological and adoptive family members. Your mother is the woman who has loved and raised you, I'm pretty sure that makes her your real mother.

[@nonkanyisondlovu5069]

I would like to thank the guest speakers and the platform for sharing with us this information ❤️❤️❤️❤️💕

[@leshilokedi7995]

Thank you so much sesi relebogile for such amazing stories...unpacking things of reality

[@regaogetswechuene9591]

"I know how to love because of them". So heartwarming. This channel is bringing so much awareness. These are the stories that resonates with us. Kudos to the entire team for the excellent work you guys do.

[@raesetjemuroa3767]

Lesego thank you for sharing your story, God will heal you completely nd use big time..Lebo thanks so much for bringing her in.

[@raesetjemuroa3767]

And God bless the family that raised you..

[@primrosebvindi7834]

What a brave, God fearing young lady. Try to not take notice of the horrible relatives and what they are saying to you. What you must always remember is that such people like your horrible relatives words are a reflection of their sad lives. They are projecting how they are bitter and have failed in life. You have done no wrong. Continue being You and respectful. Continue loving your Mum , Dad and Siblings. The rest is noise. You are going to go far in life my love. Something exceptional, and beautiful about you unsettles them Trust me. Thank you for being a soldier, and opening up about such a painful and sensitive story. You are helpingcsp many others in similar situations, or different issues, but can apply the same principles in healing.❤🙏

[@cecilemuntu5401]

Lebo dear thanks for this great show, giving ordinary people a platform to tell their stories. ..Bravo 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 To the " sharp tongue Aunties" who just breaks young ones souls STOP IT!!!!!!!!!😡😡😡😡😡

[@TJ-my9nh]

My sister glory to God that he has sustained you up to this point. Trust me you are doing great and you can only be stronger and better. Keep rising

[@MissLiso]

Been skipping this episode for so long because I knew it'd awaken my raw pain, 12 years later and it still hurts as if I found out yesterday. Its actually how you find out that makes the healing process much harder, it's far worse when the "rejector" rejects you even after finding out the truth, peeew 💔

[@PVTNS]

I feel she is still hurting. Sending love.

[@ncisept5900]

Especially about her real father.

[@zamangwanekhanyile3962]

This episode really touched my heart. She is very insightful and gives a voice no normally heard by adopted children. It is the way she articulates her emotions and struggle. She has made me more aware of the fears and silences that adopted children feel

[@gugukhumalo9313]

Sisi you were blessed with such a loving family. I'm glad you also received it with grace and understanding❤️

[@Thoughtsbyme-ts4jz]

Her moms side of her family is so cruel. That’s their sisters child

[@camillacabello3084]

Love from Kenya 🇰🇪🇰🇪🇰🇪

[@kerlymanera1033]

Relebogile u are underrated. U are an awesome host

[@themasukufamily45]

Families don't have boundaries. I'm raising a child that is not mine , I'm not even blood related to him. And families will always make remarks about him. I just hate it

[@nokuthulasithole5822]

I think people those things on purpose...they have their secret intentions...this thing is real..they speak about the issue in the presence of the child knowing that he/she is listening...I really don't like such people..they don't know the kind of damage they do...a child also has emotions, can sense rejection😡

[@stellamooibedi9027]

Ke kopa le batlele Lesego therapy tuu!🙏

[@kunoongavirue]

God bless this family that raised you🤗

[@Kutloanos]

She remind me of my younger sister, sad thing is that in this case nothing her siblings can do to make her feel better and they might as well be negatively affected.

[@bridgettemaila789]

Lesego had experienced what I have gone through but different situations. And I felt bitter and didn't want to hear the negativities.

[@xoliswakayumba8357]

You are so blessed to have loving parents and siblings. Please look forward and thank God for this gift of love.

[@LM-he7eb]

The reason I’m so hesitant to adopt is because no matter how well you raise them. In the end, you always get the “I was different” story. I say props to her adoptive parents being so loving

[@nkhaniphiri1977]

You hit the nail on the head

[@dikhaeni565]

its so amazing to see you came out doing well through so painful journey. loved the show. powerful that you forgave your father these will give you blessings Lesego.

[@1jrny1]

Lebo your responses make the show so real you make the people at ease when they share their sad stories.

[@nokuthulasindilen3274]

A very hard episode to watch 😔it's heartbreaking

[@khetimthembu8465]

This lady is soo pretty bathong🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️

[@TJ-my9nh]

Sesi Relebogile you are doing great work I tell you. This show really makes one to be in touch with real life situations and emotions. Keep it up sesi.

[@bernicebosman3741]

I really admire the way you are now viewing your pain, and it is true that when God wants to use you there will be rejections and other things that will make you lose or not believe that one day you will be someone you will be an example to others. Also i like that you never decided to be rebellious or angry such that you become a problem to the people around you. Instead you positively dealt with your life trauma and one day the very same people will need you.

[@likomokholane6077]

Hakeso lle hakalo joo.re imetswe hle.thanks Lesego for sharing yr story with us

[@refilwematsho2755]

I just watched this today. What I can say is I feel like I was stabbed with a spear on my heart. Lesego is hurting so much😒😥. You can hear it from her voice, besides seeing her cry. I hope she heals. I'm really hurt😒😒. She really needs God's Hand to intervene. She will heal.

[@xoliswakawuleza]

I cried so much watching this episode, she's so strong. Lebo was so calm, understanding and poised. Shuuu💔💔

[@semakanesebola7870]

I love this show and thanks to every guest that comes and share their stories. Ausi Relebogile may you please introduce subtitles because i think some of your guest are not fully expressing themselves as they want to or as they would in their own mother tongue.

[@pilusaprecious4630]

This episode has to be one of the best😭😭Lesego has a beautiful smile She is a beautiful woman with a beautiful soul God will surely bless her

[@tutouringplug_rsa5387]

Our people have beautiful and insightful stories to tell not just celebs ....I am in love

[@nolomfikwe8802]

I'm sending healing energy to this lady❤❤❤

[@kaygeechipana9614]

Lesego i feel ur pain ... i wish i could have a chat with u personally because ur story is similar to mine.😭😭😭 Stay blessed.

[@LM-he7eb]

Did your adoptive parents love you unconditionally?

[@onwabonokhepheyi4297]

Yoh Rele your interviews are mind blowing sisi ♥️♥️♥️

[@stellamooibedi9027]

Lesego I feel your pain ngwana wa ko gae.Pholo ya mowa tlhe mo go wena❤

[@leaperm3433]

Nothing as beautiful as documenting stories of black south Africans

[@juliamusithu9740]

Such a humble girl. You are blessed

[@ziziphomagula8183]

Absolutely love your faith sisi ❤ God will never reject you. You are important to Him the apple of His eye. You are going places!!! Forward you go with Jesus no turning back!

[@stellamooibedi9027]

Re a leboga Lesego, ke go eletse masego le matlhogonolo mo botshelong jwa gago 🙏

[@daphneytsele3182]

I love your faith... Lesego, my sister you have a stubborn faith. God bless you and your family.

[@PMAB8]

You are truly healing the nation and you are such a treasure to the nation.

[@pointa2b388]

I can only imagine how the feeling of rejection do to intimate relationships

[@dorisfulela785]

I relate to the story. You are always standing out looking in..It spoils your intimate relationships. You are always waiting for the people to reject you. A minor thing , is a trigger.

[@ncebakazintoni3096]

I’m so sorry beautiful lady I hope you find healing soon ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@stellamooibedi9027]

God bless your parents I feel like they did everything in their power to protect you, However jealousy from other relatives ruined it for you, they were jealous of seeing you happy....ba makgakga le dipelo tsa bone di leswe.

[@collinmoruakgomo9440]

joh, story of my life

[@nomvulairene4177]

I know how it's like to be rejected by your father wen u needs him the most 😭😭but ntate Modimo o motle 🙏

[@regaogetswechuene9591]

Same WhatsApp group. Modimo ke o mo golo still

[@jeanettemoya3482]

@@regaogetswechuene9591 haholo

[@diseboelphina4845]

The girl's story is 99% as mine.😢 Be strong girl, forgive ur father and forgive the other relatives forgive everyone who you feel they did you injustice. Like your story its my story girl, from being loved by ur aunt, having other relatives showingbu that u not part of that family, ur father being out there without u knowing, May God give us strength

[@sallyjambo5316]

I just love the host. She seem to understand peoples feelings n struggles. Among all the guests I have watched, this gal made me break down. The host has shown a lot of dark side about the black community n it’s real good. Black fathers please reunite with ur children. It means so much to them. I love the way this young woman loves her adapted parents. It clearly shows how a man can just produce a sperm n flee. Show us some love. This show is the best!!!

[@jaiyaalexandra144]

There is a reason why she was the twin who made it Although seemingly weak she was strengthened by her experiences. Lesego is like Moses, we thank God for her life. LOL I was thinking about Jeremiah 29v11,reeds!

[@LM-he7eb]

Seemingly weak?

[@jaiyaalexandra144]

Yes, I am referring to the fact that she used to be sickly.

[@tshifhiwaforgiveness8271]

She is amazing the love she have for God,I love this show is the best

[@letzchatisrael8438]

God is amazing. Through all of this, she's proclaiming the goodness of the Lord. May he continues to shield. You are an amazing woman

[@phumelelaznangamsomasabala2151]

Similar situation as mine, faced rejection from my mother's family. And I have somehow come to accept it. I think what keeps hurting is the yearning of wanting to be loved and accepted by them. But once you accept and get over the yearning. Everything becomes easier and nothing bothers you anymore. It is always key to pray to accept things that you cannot charge 🤗🤗. I hope you stop hurting and yearning.

[@luyandakhanyi1018]

Anointed young lady. God Bless you Lesego.

[@Miz-B]

This episode has left me with too many questions.

[@rebaonesasa8829]

What a sad story, may God bless you Lesego, thank you sis Kele❤️

[@lisasimelane717]

God bless this sweet soul argh such an angel

[@keitumetsesello4024]

What a touching story may God bless you Segos love you my dearest friend

[@refiloesharonntuli7009]

I know that I'm late, I had to catch up. The channel is really helping thank you kelebogile.

[@kgalalelolala6963]

Sending love,light and healing to you sesi Ousi Lesego ❤

[@noreenm5018]

May your faith keep healing you Lesego.

[@SammyMachethe5716]

Timeline 25:10 got my tears rolling down my chicks.... "We didn't live in that big house. Maybe if they didn't raise me they could have built that big house for themselves..." 😏

[@naomimotshwari7778]

Im so sorry Lesego...Being rejected by your own dad is heartbreaking. Please reach out to your father in order have a closer.

[@boikhutso_baboledi]

Not all parents want a relationship with their kids, I reached out to mine after 20 years then he messed up. I gave him a second chance when I turned 24, he’s still the same man. I feel her pain deeply, rejection breaks one’s soul. Especially from people who are supposed to protect you from the world

[@francisca1225]

She is so beautiful 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 May God bless the family tht raised you

[@conversationwithmokgadimam9499]

God is there and I wish her nothing but the best. 🥺🙏

[@LethoHali]

I think her mum was a bit of a rebel. Listened to no one and probably hurt a lot of people. No excuse still. Extremely immature to take it out on the child!