My personal DPDR and existential anxiety (succes) story | Weed, Panic Attacks & How did I recover?

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[@Jess-zm5xt]

Had a severe mental breakdown after smoking weed (a lot) and not being on the right medication. My anxiety had me thinking I wasn’t real, I would disassociate and feel like the world was a video game. I had thoughts of being trapped on Earth, trapped in my body, almost wanting to escape and that led to self harm thoughts which scared me even more. I had feelings of life being pointless because we’re all going to die anyways. What was the point of jobs? Of school? Of doing anything anymore? it’s been a mixture of Anxiety and panic disorders with severe Depression all lying to me and sneaking into my inner dialogue. I realized I had been using weed to run from my own traumas that cemented and fueled my fear and hopelessness. I relate so so much to you saying you were scared to die but too scared to live as well. Being a human being seems almost cruel sometimes. I’ve been on meds and therapy as well as meditating hoping it will get better. It’s hard though being steeped in a society like America that is extremely individualistic, money and material driven as well as irresponsible with religious and political doctrine. I feel hopeless but I know that I myself have hope stored somewhere. I wish I had a more connected community that assisted one another in a more walkable and accessible environment instead of grey cemented highways and capitalistic traps like expensive stores and restaurants. I feel almost like I’m more aware of the world because of this anxiety and existential dread and it makes me feel insane. This was a lot, but thank you for providing a space for me to release some of these thoughts. Does anyone feel similar and has it gotten better?

[@yvesvixxen]

You said everything I feel. It’s exhausting being alive at times and even your analysis of individualism in American culture is exactly it. It’s our food, too. I know you’ll find peace, even if that means you reach the peak of it all. One day, you’ll be enjoying life and this will feel world’s away. If there’s anything that’s guaranteed, it’s change. This too shall pass.

[@sanopictures5652]

Everything you said it’s exactly what i experienced, instead it was half an edible which was fine at first but it soon led to panic, the first few days I felt very empty and hopeless and the next few weeks I was relatively ok it felt like a bad nightmare or a little scare and I got over it, and more recently it’s come in small waves of anxiety and panic but it’s definitely so much better compared to previously, today of writing this I did have a pretty bad wave anxiety wash over me with the whole meaning of life etc, but after being surrounded by people I love in a safe environment where I can reflect on my emotions and what has happened today I feel so light and calm (this video has also really helped as it is what I’ve experienced through the past month) you will 100% be ok, if you want to get better you are so capable of it because you yourself said it today it might be bad tomorrow it might be worse, and that’s ok but everyday it gives you opportunities to heal.

[@goodknight37]

I can’t believe this has happened to someone else. I had literally the same experience. Weed triggered my first episode. Absolutely horrific experience. The scariest part was when I started having those same feelings, after getting totally clean, which caused panic attacks. Thank you so much for making this video, although I’m not totally convinced you are real🤦🏻‍♂️. Yea, I experience derealization/ depersonalization as well

[@karaclaire412]

It's so hard to explain to someone that hasn't been IN it you know? So it feels like it's such a unique experience until you hear it elsewhere. And it's just super comforting listening to anyone with a similar experience be able to put how I'm feeling into words. Sometimes I'm not even able to articulate it if that makes sense

[@Willekeeeeeee]

I cried the entire time I was watching this video. I have always struggled with existential fear since I was a child and later on also dp/dr (I think this was also onset because of smoking weed in my teen years) but last month it was like a switch went on in my brain and I have had the most terrible, horrible, existential dread/dpdr episodes 24/7 for the past weeks. Everyday I feel like I'm gonna go crazy and have no control over my mind whatsoever. My bf and parents kept telling me you will get better eventually, please believe you will get better, but somewhere I couldn't believe them. They don't 100% understand what I feel and how I feel like I'm going to burst out of my mind and body or that I feel like I have no control over my own mind and actions, so they can't really know. Most people just think I'm really depressed and I have to just get myself through the day by keeping busy. It's so hard to have no one understand, although they love and support me very much. After another exhausting day I searched youtube for existential anxiety and I found your video. You can't grasp how much this video means to me. To see and hear someone talking about what I'm going through. I feel so acknowledged and I can begin to feel hope again. I'm gonna watch your other videos as well and look into your recovery guide. Thank you so so so much for sharing!

[@sinescanor600]

What you are experiencing is a panic attack. Don't worry you will get better but it will take time over time it will reduce just be grateful of how much you are getting better but sometimes it will comeback, but if you become less afraid of what you are experiencing you will get better

[@sarahstovall9979]

Always keep pushing! I’m in this boat with you love. It will get better

[@xoniecypoohxp3401]

Hi, how are you doing now?

[@parthnikhil2522]

Its the exact same that’s happening to me 🥺. My parents snd my gf really try to help but they don’t understand that its not nirmal anxiety 🥺. Last month a switch went on in my brain too and from then itself its started. I just want to get rid of DPDR and anxiety please help if you can 😞

[@patricklyonssanchez3492]

Hey, I strongly recommend you to watch videos from shaan kassam. He helped me with my anxiety DP/DR, intrusive thoughts, existential crises and OCD. He will guide you step by step to fully recover

[@karaclaire412]

I just want you to know how much this helped me get through an attack from some edibles. I didn't struggle with any anxiety/depression/panic attacks until I was about 30 (I'm 33 now). I've gotten a better hold on them with grounding techniques but once in a while I just can't seem to shake one off after (mostly post smoking weed) or calm myself down. It all starts with physical triggers for me like feeling like I can't swallow/breathe/increased heartrate/a bit dizzy and it just spirals from there. Sometimes I think I feel a bit ashamed/embarrassed to seek out friends to help me calm down (My bf typically helps unless he's asleep or at work) Which when I'm not high I'm like that's ridiculous! I've talked through many panic attacks with friends in the past. Depends on the person/situation but either riding it with them until it passes, just there for company or what helps me and talk through it logically. It's never felt like a burden or a big deal. I guess I just struggle admitting I need help in general I suppose, like I feel weak. And then my logical side is like you're a human shut up - welcome to my brain lmao just meee?

[@wajik393]

Also experiencing this, am 25 now smoked weed for 9 years and one day boom panic attack, havent been the same since February , everyday I wake up I feel dizzy, my social anxiety is on a all time high, cant sleep (always wake up earlier than I have to), good thing is it got a lil better but I still have the fear to go crazy and find myself looking up symptoms of psychosis or schizophrenia every other day…hope we all make it out one day ✌🏼

[@mingramh]

Wow, thanks for sharing your triumph!! Love you!!

[@dbondozzz3538]

i had my first dpdr attack on december 27 2015, age 12, i didnt even smoke weed or anything it just happened out of nowhere, it lasted like a month and seems to come back full force every 2 or 3 years

[@paradoxinmotion]

glad i found you, existential anxiety certainly resonates with my experience

[@ok.iguess.4660]

This gave me so much hope. Thank you

[@Ana-ii9ip]

Beautiful Robin!❤️

[@robinschindelka2117]

Thank you Bea! ❤️

[@constantdoodle32]

7:15 omg...... thank you. I could never articulate it until now. Thank you so much

[@dyphobic5699]

Hi ♥️ how are you doing now?

[@miskellil96]

would love to see a video of your book recommendations because you seem to have a lovely collection behind you :)

[@neptuneflower9156]

I feel this 100% i had a bad weed trip too i literally saw myself in a white void with my face drooping down with the mouth and eyes moving and i thinking before or after that i was staring at my sister and i felt like i was stuck in this hellish loop that wouldnt stop yeah it was really bad i also went through dpdr since march 28th 2023 till now i still question reality and if people are real and i feel like its ruining my life i go to therapy and take sertruline for anciety and depression i also keep watching yout recovery videos cause i also have a bad memory and i feel like im loosing myself and i also feel like i hyper focus on words like i understand but sometimes words just spund like words idk its hard to explain but thank you for having these videos to give me peace of mind at times but living life is still hard and um trying to find myself and meaning again i wish i could change the past but i cant

[@saeedalquzah4050]

hey! how do u feel now?

[@mitchellhilde4164]

Thank you so much for making this video

[@davet2625]

So many similar elements in my own experience - Sensitive child, bereavement, weed trip, derealisation as if died and entered a new dimension, matrix idea, idea that life could never be the same, sense that no one else can understand and so alienation, ongoing existential dread and disconnectedness feeling like all pleasure and meaningfulness sucked out of life because everything outside my own mind could be an illusion, terror of death as perhaps that's the point at which I'll be confirmed into eternal torment and potentially face the demon behind this illusion, health anxiety developed due to fear of death, seeking philosophical answer to the question: how do we know anything outside our own mind is really real? ..

[@exposingtruth600]

Did you heal ? Currently experiencing DPDR

[@bobtim1008]

Bro you’re never going to get an answer to your existential questions the way to get over these topics is you don’t engage with them when the thought comes up don’t try to solve it you will NEVER they are impossible questions to answer not saying that these questions are inherently bad but when you are in dpdr state you are not in the right place to answer them and it will cause more anxiety and prolong your dpdr

[@Beggaronmars]

Thank you, really! Thank you!

[@tabularasa5890]

Thank you for these videos💗

[@johnwoodbury4851]

Thank you so much for making this video…I am experiencing this exact thing. I’ve been scared of death my entire life…a few months ago I took an edible for the first time and it was the worst day of my life and I now have DPDR from it. I’m exactly in the phase where if I’m not derealizing I’m having a panic attack about dying, I felt seen watching this and I feel less insane.

[@usamamohamad4654]

This is so wired this is just exactly what happened with me the weed and everything. But still am not fully recovered but I feel am in the right direction, thanx for sharing.

[@trevorsanders4143]

Have you smoked again?

[@afaqzada1160]

How are you now?

[@rlsstudio2305]

Thank you, i had an dpdr episode and anxiety, this video send me back to reality 😂, I had a bad weed experience for about 10 months now.. and i feel like i am recovering every day.. but sometimes i have bad anxiety and episodes and i come back to it. so what i think i need.. is to meditate to feel more calmer.. what i saw.. when i have anxiety it comes.. so i need to stop this anxiety. sorry for my bad english 😂

[@miskellil96]

Thank you so much for doing this video, it's amazing to hear that you managed to figure out how to face and accept your anxiety without looking for answers online. Hearing your story really helps give hope and Inspiration ❤️ I can relate to the existential fears / obsessions and I think they were probably triggered by the dpdr for me, like you said philosophical topics were interesting rather than scary before dpdr. I want to ask did you experience any symptoms that made you hyper-aware of existence or like a sudden realisation of "wow how do I or any of this even exist"?? And these thoughts/feelings hit me multiple times a day randomly. I do find accepting them and letting them be is helping alot but there's always that " what if..." Feeling 😅

[@marial3301]

How are you now? Have you recovered from these scary thoughts such as "do I exist" etc?

[@miskellil96]

@@marial3301 hey! Yes I've definitely had some improvement! It comes and goes sometimes but with some work and acceptance you can get better :)

[@marial3301]

@@miskellil96 thank you for replying. Do you feel almost normal now? I'm doing a bit better too (better than a few weeks ago when I couldn't sleep and got into proper hysterics a few times ) but I still keep getting these existential thoughts and weird feelings (is it caused by adrenaline or cortisol?!) , and sometimes feel panic or deep depression when thinking about existence etc. Did you have these symptoms? Do they go away?

[@miskellil96]

@Maria L I do feel better in terms of dpdr and existential thoughts. But my themes change from one fear to the next. I think the steps mentioned in these video about acceptance and ERP (exposure and response prevention) work! If you aren't seeing a therapist yet I definitely recommend it finding a therapist that specialises in anxiety. As well as Robin's amazing videos, there is the anxious truth on KZbin who has very detailed videos ok many anxiety topics . I wish you all the best

[@marial3301]

@@miskellil96 thank you for your message (I don't know why I've only just received a notification about it!). How are you? How is your progress? I am a bit better but still have dpdr and get panicky about thoughts about existence, the concept of now/time etc ("why do we exist NOW?" Etc). I try to keep reminding myself that these thoughts go when dpdr feelings are gone though (right?😬)

[@bocolatebhipbookie]

i feel like by ignoring the thoughts im somehow giving into the facade or unenlightening myself. also your experience is incredibly relatable to me. especially the feeling of being physically trapped within your body/head and feeling the need to escape it which kinda sounds like it goes against the typical detached feeling people describe. i experience both and i'd say the trapped feeling is much more frightening and disturbing. i can find ways to enjoy feeling detached but never ways to enjoy feeling like a prisoner in my body. also looking into the concept of solipsism absolutely fucked me up and i regret it so much.

[@Alexis-kr9to]

I feel the same way like it’s wrong to give in to the absurdity of reality it’s the worst have u found any relief?

[@Drunk.Casperr]

​@@Alexis-kr9to Reading the great philosophers of existentialism

[@CourtneySDawn]

Going through the same, how are you doing?

[@bobtim1008]

Bro I’ve been there you will get over it try not to engage the existential questions there’s no answer that will give you certainty try to just let the thought come and go and it’s not that these questions are inherently bad but when you’re in this state engaging with them won’t help you get out of a dpdr state and will just bring on more anxiety and the symptoms will stay longer once you recover feel free to engage in all these topics you will see that you will actually have a better understanding of the existentialism

[@bocolatebhipbookie]

doing much better after i read nietzsche!@@CourtneySDawn

[@lechedecoco112]

I have this for years

[@felus711]

What was the book and the author?

[@_ASYI]

i wish i could afford the course :/

[@rorythompson864]

This gives me hope. I don't understand though it truly feels as though I can never escape this. The most dreadful thoughts I have ever felt. Why are you still focusing on this life event making it a big part of your life. And attempting profit off it? Why are all these people on KZbin selling these courses why can't they just give it for free. Aside from this, today I have genuine hope. Thank u

[@robinschindelka2117]

Hi, thank you for your message. The way I see it is: why should you likewise expect me to on top of making 50+ free KZbin video's for you with a lot of great content to help you (I could also not do that and just keep all the info to myself) also spend 3 months of work and money I invested into creating an online product + coaching training away for free, therefore spending all my personal time and money and not reveiving anything in return? If you go to a therapist, do you expect them to help you for free as well?

[@rorythompson864]

@@robinschindelka2117 fair enough. I just find it strange the amount of people that are doing it. And how quickly the algorithm targets me with people's videos that end up being sales. But thank you anyhow for spending time to help others

[@fragstars5378]

Thanks for this Robin, I too always had a great interest in philosophy and god, energy, the universe etc but 3 weeks ago after a bedtime joint I was thinking about it and experienced exactly what you did about consciousness after death etc and had the worst panic attack ever, your videos and a few others like it have been helping me so much and given me hope to recover back to how my life was before. Sending love, all the best to you, thank you!

[@alhamdulillah...222]

Is everything the same for me as you are now?

[@MrUseur]

Robin, did you have sleeping problems during your "dark" time? I have got sleeping issues currently because of DP. It is very hard for me to fix this problem

[@robinschindelka2117]

Hi! I didn't personally but some of my clients do. Can you tell me why you have trouble sleeping?

[@goodknight37]

The problem is, if I let it run its course, I will end up in the ER, because I freak out, have a panic, attack, hyperventilate, etc. it’s happened before

[@bobtim1008]

Have the panic attacks embrace them like a friend and stop going to the ER you will see that they don’t last very long and that you are completely safe once you learn how to embrace them they will go away but if you’re afraid of the feeling then they come on

[@ynan7531]

I don’t understand why I feel some strange sensation in the brain

[@rowenbustillo9575]

I would really appreciate your help. I’m a mum of a 4 year old but I’m currently pregnant and something has triggered this anxiety in me. I was offered medication but do not want to take it due to the pregnancy. I want to get into the spiritual side of things to help me, I’m so terrified every single day. Terrified to go to sleep in case I do not wake up. It’s destroying my life and I’m worried for my pregnancy & health. Any help appreciated. I sadly can’t afford your ebook but anything you can help me with would be appreciated.

[@mikechrist9699]

How are you right now?😰

[@kayleydrummond1819]

im 6 months pregnant with my first baby. i've had anxiety/ocd my whole life but once i got pregnant it increased 10000xxxx worse (im assuming bc of hormones) but it's seriously horrible so i feel you. i have panic attacks all day long now along with dpdr. you are not alone.

[@danyunginn]

Can You Help Me Recovery💙🤞🏾

[@Figggggg]

❤️❤️❤️🌈☀️🌟

[@Figggggg]

Much love to you and thank you for making all the videos ❤️❤️ you are an angel 🌈☀️🌟

[@kayleydrummond1819]

so is accepting it meaning letting yourself be anxious ? because when i try to sit with the thoughts and face them i just start feeling anxiety. do i just let myself be anxious about it ?

[@babiiluv7931]

When I had DPDR I had the existential thoughts too. Basically, in order for the anxiety to stop you have to let it run it ms course through your body. I remember being at work and just sitting through the anxiety. It felt like pins and needles. In addition I was shaking too. I let the anxiety run through. After that the anxiety left. You need to sit through it for it to stop. Because, your nerves is trying to find an outlet so you can become calm again.

[@marial3301]

@@babiiluv7931hi, have you recovered from dpdr? Do you feel almost normal now? I'm doing a bit better too (better than a few weeks ago when I couldn't sleep and got into proper hysterics a few times ) but I still keep getting these existential thoughts and weird feelings (is it caused by adrenaline or cortisol?!) , and sometimes feel panic or deep depression when thinking about existence etc. Did you have these symptoms? Do they go away?

[@babiiluv7931]

@@marial3301 hey! I recovered 100% I’m in the same or similar boat as you with these weird/pesky/stubborn existential realizations too. For me it’s like my mind doesn’t want to really connect to myself . My memories are heavy 100% I feel it and I know I was there etc. but it’s this one part that my mind is stubborn on re-connecting 100% like it’s kind of fighting it lol I’m not really sure how to say it. Once I figure it out by putting a name to it then I can get that MF in place

[@babiiluv7931]

@@marial3301 I don’t it’s YOU thinking about it. You are noticing the realizations probably like me too then maybe you start thinking on that realization. This the last part to depart which can be hard because I don’t want feel “lost” in my head I love staying grounded like NOW.

[@marial3301]

@@babiiluv7931 i'm sorry, i didn't understand everything you wrote... Does it mean you're not recovered yet?

[@atlbaby1283]

I recovered last year just remember about dpdr wow we are the most stupid people on earth 😂😂😂 I laugh at it now

[@judithlionel6410]

Vamazu 🤔🤔🤔🤔 I been struggling with that for couple months 😥

[@zionwilliams6730]

Can I contact you

[@emirozdemir2037]

exact same experience

[@exposingtruth600]

Hows it going with it ?