My Problem With "Women's Self-Defense" Classes

[@MsMayhap]

I think another issue is that it perpetuates the myth that what you need to be worried about is stranger attacks. Sure they're a thing, but if you're prepared to fight a dude in a ski mask, you might be even more blindsided when it's your best friend or partner.

[@cherishglowine2290]

True as hell, majority of the time theirs a bigger, more less attracting, different, plans people usually have to kidnap, rape, and violate any woman, why some Florida moms (and other moms) are so afraid of their young daughters being trafficked

[@lilamontoya5609]

3:30 fight, flight, or freeze very true. some people, like myself, freeze. Also, I think also having the conversion that 80%-90% of sexual assault happens with someone you know and trust.- its not that 1% of strangers that jump in the alley - so talk about defending yourself in that situation as well, speak, shout, verbalize we don't feel okay, maybe then we'll freeze less and stay silent

[@Vivi2372]

There's also a fourth "F" I didn't know about into last week' fawn. As in people make themselves try to appear less threatening by trying to look smaller or appease the person so that they don't get hurt.

[@lilamontoya5609]

@@Vivi2372 ah like survival instinct Jaycee Duguard talks a little about survival instincts, she was 8, held captive for 18 years

[@shoaibhaq8680]

Even if sexual assault is done by strangers chances are they would attack in a group of two or more ppl..

[@lilamontoya5609]

@@shoaibhaq8680 not usually

[@shoaibhaq8680]

@@lilamontoya5609 not usual but highly possible

[@natalieedelstein]

I know someone who literally taught women's self-defense and when the trauma hit her, her mind dissociated to protect her from the trauma at some point that she couldn't really apply her skills, muscle memory or not!

[@darkhoursofday6250]

You make a great point. I'm black belt in TKD and taught youth classes for years. I've done a LOT of sparring and also been in a few real fights. In sparring, you measure things out, consider technique and plan your strategy. In real fights, I can't remember every actually thinking at all. My dad taught me that the best strategy in a real fight is not wanting to be hurt by the opponent. The person most committed to not hurting usually wins because they push the limits and attack harder so as not to be hit. In sparring I've never hurt anyone. But in fights, I've broken arms and noses because I didn't care about their well being. I just didn't want to be injured and was willing to injure my attacker to avoid it. It's a different part of the brain.

[@TheAnamnesisable]

The best defense is to run and try to avoid fighting - real fights are unpredictable- doesn’t matter if you’re a pro fighter or not - you can get hurt or killed - the streets are no joke

[@gtwhtudnt]

Oh my gosh!!! Yes! So I was a "womans self defense teacher/trainer" for about 2 years. You just hit every nail on the head! I was young looking out at a group of middle age women, (SIMINAR AFTER SIMINAR) watching them taking notes! I WAS EXCESSIVELY thinking they are NOT GOING TO REMEMBER THIS WHEN THEIR BLOOD IS PUMPING OF FEAR!. Also Thank you you rock!

[@mikesteelheart]

Did the women ever ask how long one kick in the groin will give them to get away lol?

[@Defender78]

OMG they had note pads?

[@HonkeyKong54]

You taught bullshido while swindling old women?

[@davidp.7620]

"Women won't be comfortable training self-defense with some big dude"... What kind of people do you think you'll need that self-defense training for?

[@afonphoenix16]

Because they might get triggered. Well, LET THEM GET TRIGGERED!! They're going to be attacked by a MAN.🙄🤦🤦😢

[@NorseButterfly]

I took a week long "women's" self defense class when I was maybe 17/18.. then when I was around 19-20, I had someone break into my house. Ultimately, there was a gun held to my head. I had a chance to get out of bed when I first heard the door being broken down, then my friend fighting with someone in the hall, but all I could do was pull the blanket over my head and pretend I wasn't there, I froze..and the whole time I was thinking that I could have hid in my closet. The person who broke in was my friends estranged wife. She assumed we were "having an affair", to be nice about it. While he was getting his boots on, she made it into my room, grabbed my hair, and put a gun to my head. He ran at her, knocking her into the wall, then threw her out as the sirens approached. She had also knocked the front neighbors door in looking for him. She was lucky they slept on a waterbed. The neighbor wasn't able to get out of bed fast enough to access his gun. All I ended up with was a bald spot on the back of my head. The self defense class might have worked in a different situation, but each situation is different and you'll never know how you'll respond.

[@littlelunanova2591]

I took a semester's long womens self defense in college, which was great. It was great. We learned a lot of physical stuff but also about what is abuse, consent, and what to do if this does happen to you (resources on campus, reporting it to the police). Our instructor told us too that the priority is to survive, even if it means letting it happen or if you freeze or fawn, that's okay. I sadly don't remember all of the moves we learned (like flipping people over or the most effective strikes) but I'm still glad I took the class. There's no way it can stick without practice. I remember feeling physically strong for the first time though, and that was important.

[@PowerfullyPowerless]

This was a great video. Victim blaming and shaming are a huge problem in many areas. I think many places that teach these things using such concept is very dangerous to those who are or have been victimizing in some way. I think the reason they don't go into trauma and the affects it has on a person is they aren't equipped to and don't have that knowledge. Trauma informing such classes is so important!

[@jodieg6318]

I agree so much! I've been in martial arts for 12+ years (Shoto-Kan, HEMA) my instructor was asked many times to teach a women's self-defense class, and he would always say, "I teach self-defense" because he refused to tell women that they are weak and need a special class. He also would say "You will never rise to the occasion, you will always fall back on your training." So the same drill again, and again, and again, and again. Just getting us to react and not freeze was one of the biggest mental exercises alongside just the simple routes he would drill us through.

[@riversrhodell2359]

Going to a dojo where we did lots and lots of sparring, you absolutely forget most of the complicated stuff when you are in those situations, especially when the other person much more experienced than you. A lot of times I would recall the first few steps of a takedown, but forget the rest, leaving me just holding someone's leg while we hopped around. Awkward as hell.

[@Ash-up9gl]

I totally agree with every point you made here! I've always felt this way too, especially about the victim-blaming. Muscle memory takes so long to develop and to use that in the context of a situation where your body is filled with adrenaline is no natural or easy thing to do!

[@Vivi2372]

Thank you so much for all of this. I'm not a woman and it's been years since I last practiced any martial arts (used to do BJJ as well actually) but if there's one thing I learned from actually sparring over the years it's that even when I was at a much lower skill level than someone else, if I had a significant size advantage (I'm 6'2" and about 220 pounds) it was hard for the other person to handle me. And that was in situations like BJJ class where we're all playing by a certain set of rules. In an actual fight trying to fight off someone my size if you're a lot smaller and the person is trying to hurt you by any means necessary? One or two self-defense classes isn't going to stop them. If nothing else they're probably going to hit you like a ton of bricks and you haven't had experience even sparring with someone that size it's going to shock you. I'm all in favour of people learning to defend themselves but people need to keep in mind that you need to practice, and preferably spar, with people of all sizes for an extended period of time to really prepare yourself to react appropriately at all.

[@brandiegange-bobolg3874]

I was forced to take anger management class when I pepper sprayed a man who assaulted both me and my daughter. He walked up to us sitting in our car, and threw a pop bottle inside, getting nasty, used soda on my daughter (12 years old at the time) and all over my car. Damn right I pepper sprayed him, in the eyes too! And he did this because I honked my horn a few times. Spokane PD in Washington often punish the victims. When are we allowed to defend and protect ourselves? That's my kid, you know.... It's my duty to protect. My motherly instincts kicked in, and I feel strongly that the other person should have been punished.

[@penultimateh766]

Good points. I also have a problem with movies and TV shows that depict a woman fighting a man 50% larger than her and ending up without a scratch. It sets up almost impossible expectations, and I wonder if it might result in LESS caution. Lastly, I am not normally a fan of people carrying firearms, but I am more flexible about it for women who want to feel safe.

[@shellstutes]

I can’t believe I never thought how weird it was that I took a “woman’s self defense class” when I was less than 10 years old

[@waymilky442]

Sadly creeps exist.

[@israel963]

100% agree! It’s something that takes discipline and time... I’ve needed it but in those contexts I’ve never thought about what I was doing until afterwards - in those moments, you don’t have any thoughts going through your head except the things you thought about during training.

[@loganwheeler1734]

If you're a woman, you need to train with men and be ready to deal with male strength and male aggression. Who do you think you're training to defend yourself against? You also need to train with men who don't hold back, many men hold back in the gym against women

[@ponetium]

This actually makes a lot of sense. I had a Krav Maga class as a teen (got to green belt or something) while I was also beaten in school (and home...). And my family was angry with me not using what I've learned in that class... (It was a bad idea anyways) I feel less shame now. Thank you.

[@corrine7884]

I strongly identify with this. It’s hard hearing people say they are invincible after doing some self defense. And you’re right, even with extensive training, there is no guarantee that the body will react by doing self defense moves. Thanks for recording this video Jo!

[@baileymoran8585]

I have a lot of martial arts experience. Akido, Shaolin Kung Gu, Shodokan, and MMA. I have a couple back belts and high ranking underbelts. But whenever I’ve seen what they teach in women’s self defense classes is often very watered down and less efficient. They tend to focus on people picking your pockets and stealing your purse, but not things like men following you to your car, yelling threats, with a knife. They often don’t get that ‘advanced.’ Which you can’t in 1-3 classes, like you said. I have still been victimized despite fighting back. Self defense keeps it from getting worse but if they have a weapon that out ranks whatever you may have on hand, even someone who’s extensively trained is going to have some level of injuries. When I was a junior instructor after getting my first black belt, I had a lot of little girls who’s brothers were already on the kid’s class, sign up. I was a 16 year old girl who could encourage them without forgetting they were girls. I knew the messages they were probably hearing outside of the dojo, that may hold them back. I think it depends on the seminar but some have room to improve. We need to see all women classes offered weekly at more dojos. I’ve seen women get scared off because it’s hard to get through the disconnect between hearing ‘be delicate, passive, and don’t engage in violence,’ and learning moves you will practice with sparring partners. I took the job and gave up my opportunity to sleep in on Saturdays to teach the kid’s class and draw in more young girls, for these reasons.

[@oohihavecookies9377]

i think it's interesting jo called it "fight, flight, freeze or fawn mode". i recently heard of "fawn mode" for the first time, but i thought that was mostly used to describe behaviour impacted by complex trauma? is it used for behaviour during traumatic events as well?

[@eggybaconbits]

I was just thinking about this the other day. The courses are great in theory to me, but I have BIG beef with just how complicated the moves always seem to be and the lack of talking about the mental side. I know for a fact in those situations, I have a freeze and fawn type of response, and having such complicated moves wouldn't make me feel confident enough to be a fighter. The one thing I always try to remember is that a crotch shot isn't a cheap shot if I fear for my safety or my life.

[@TheCrimsonIdol987]

Crotch shots also may or may not work. I have seen some dudes get ball kicked into a frenzy. And, just being real, most people aren't conditioned and trained enough to actually throw damaging punches and kicks without hurting themselves. That's just reality. Fighting is ugly business, friend. Anyone telling you otherwise is selling Bullshido. I'm not saying don't learn how to defend yourself, I'm just saying be realistic. :)

[@eggybaconbits]

@@TheCrimsonIdol987 thats cool dude. I've been in fights before, I'm being realistic. :)

[@selfdefencewomens745]

I run women's self defence classes in London with great success. These are always organised over a day taking up 3-4 hours active training. Attendees are always warned at the beginning that the course is nowhere near enough to arm them with enough skill or knowledge against attacks and has to be looked at as a first step. A good 20% of women sign up for further courses, looking to extend their learning, but sadly only about 3% of them actually attend. It's good to hear your points, I agree with most of them, but also think that when women or men attend these short courses, at least they get a little bit better, even if it's just 1%. Also have experienced, that confidence plays a big part in avoiding fights. Myself and my students too, had situations where believing that we can win the fight was enough to put the aggressor off. So yes, it can be dangerous to believe that you are untouchable, but sometimes it works. I have faced 4 guys who wanted trouble, and all i said to them that i'm going to kill all of them, and it worked.. they all changed their minds.. could i have really beaten them? I don't think so.. but at that moment i really believed i could and so did they. BTW in the short courses i also try and touch on the psychology but I know, that for some people it takes years to get rid of fear and some never manage.. if it's so deep, so old, i truly don't think it's possible to untrain.. but we can only try...

[@ffnovice7]

Criminals look for easy targets

[@jimsteinmanfan80]

A man who is a 98 pound weakling realizes that he should take great care not to antagonize a 300 pound muscle bound guy as there is great risk of injury, especially if he is armed with knife, pepper spray, chains, club/bat or gun. I think it would benefit women to also realize this in the same scenario. Hopefully most do but modern movies where teenage girls reguarly defeats three to four armed and trained men weighing 50% more than her coupled with girls who has confidence from self defense classes can lead to a disaster, especially if he is high on something and don't care that she is a girl when she's fighting back.

[@skiangel3962]

Most people don’t seem to to realize that if you are getting Rap** the person will most likely beat the shit out of you before so you can’t fight back. And it mostly happens to close family members. It is so much different then.

[@ffnovice7]

So lay down and take it?

[@mahaganpatiproductionsgoa.2142]

Yes agree with you. It requires years of training. and the attacker maybe also someone who has learnt karate or kick boxing, for example. .So it is going to be like a showdown between Jackie Chen v/s Jet LI. Not easy. Totally agree with you. Learning Situational awareness is most important also. Just get tough. Anticipate , be aware of the environment.

[@mkhuey1]

As a sexual assault survive advocate I totally agree! I have the same beef with self defense classes. I will also say that as an individual I highly recommend taking an Empowerment Self Defense class! I believe Impact is an org near you. It was developed by a martial artist that was assaulted outside her dojo. She realized that she never learned martial arts in an andrenalized state. It’s a long class and they teach you how to recognize when your instincts are telling you that a situation is sketchy- including how to deal with SOs, family members, and bosses. And they address and try to fix a lot of problems with traditional self defense classes. I’m a survivor too and it was incredibly empowering.

[@elisei.c.4079]

I’ve been doing taekwondo for 5 years. I’m sitting here in a comfortable, non stressful position and I can’t remember what we did for certain self defense drills a month ago, and we’ve done those self defense drills for multiple testing cycles (a testing cycle being how long it takes for a person to get enough classes and experience to get their next belt). I obviously still need more practice, and if a person were to take a one-day or four-week self defense class they wouldn’t get half or even a fourth of what I know. My point is, building off what Jo said, the classes don’t give a person nearly enough practice and experience to actually do those things in a fight or flight mode situation. Also, I’m a first degree black belt and I need wayyyyy more practice.

[@ffnovice7]

Add grappling

[@abslol1]

I take a fitness focused kickboxing class every morning. I love the confidence that it has given me, and I truly feel like I have learned practical self defense skills. I was nervous when I started thinking it would be like a generic women's self defense classes... We learn good form, and occasionally will attribute some of our movements to breaking ribs, or knocking someone out. Personally I think self defense is more about confidence.

[@ffnovice7]

Have you noticed a situation that you realized could have gone wrong had you not been confident in your athletics?

[@abslol1]

@@ffnovice7the most I have had to use the skills learned in class in real life has been throwing some elbows when people have gotten too close to myself or a friend at a bar or club without consent... I do however feel like I can walk into a situation knowing how to defend myself because of my physical abilities and training

[@ffnovice7]

@@abslol1 myself as a shorter person than average, I've found amateur wrestling moves like arm drags, Russian ties, single legs to be useful in controlling a rowdy friend or acquaintance

[@afonphoenix16]

I hate to be a negative Nancy, but you are not a martial artist. You have never sparred a live opponent, and will most likely freeze. You DO have muscle memory, but you need to train facing a live opponent. You know the moves, but not how to apply them. I've done aerobic kickboxing, and am also a martial artist. Aerobic kickboxing does NOT make you a trained fighter. It's VERY important you understand this. Training against a live, MALE opponent is crucial to self defense.

[@r3771-n2r]

First. Fantastic Video! There is so much to unpack about personal safety being "your responsibility" and you did it wonderfully.

[@andreabushman1212]

I feel this. These things are exactly why I have not done things self-defense classes or made my way into that realm. The messaging through those classes can be so harmful to the victim blaming mentality.

[@Aarzu]

Yeah, I feel a need to chime in with a criticism of self defense courses in general as well. I think Penn & Teller brought up some great points in an episode of their series "Bullsh*t" that had self defense classes as a focus in the episode. One of those issues is that all self defense/fighting courses assume the, for lack of a better word, innocence of their clients/students. It's just as likely there are people going there to learn how to do these things to give themselves another means to hurt people. Another really interesting thing they bring up is if somebody wants your wallet, money, or whatever? Give it to them. These are the same guys who also did an episode of the very same series focused on gun rights. Speaking of guns, I won't get on a soap box about gun rights or anything here, but I will say that another aspect of self defense courses that doesn't get emphasized enough: even if you think you're just causing a lot of pain in defense of your life or well-being, people who teach and who enroll in these classes need to understand that getting violent with someone can kill them. If you have to defend yourself, then it's what you have to do, but if you kill someone using just your own body or improvised weapons (bats, car keys, etc.), you could face the same consequences as you would if you had just shot them. And with that said, there are a lot of different views on whether or not carrying a firearm for personal defense is a viable option. I won't say to anyone here, regardless of gender, sexuality, etc., whether or not they should own and carry a firearm. I will however say that you should do your research and learn about the laws in your specific state. If you do decide to get a firearm, practice with it as much as possible. That's all I will say about that specific subject. Finally, if you do take self defense courses and/or carry a firearm for self defense and you find yourself in a situation where you have to use any of it, be VERY careful about what you say to the police. In fact,. I'd recommend not volunteering any information, instead you get a lawyer immediately. Just because they don't put you in cuffs right away doesn't mean they won't get a warrant for your arrest later, and as the Miranda warning says "Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law". This isn't a pleasant subject to think about, but 2020 has been a pretty horrific year, so it's one that I think needs to be discussed like in this video. Hope I added something of use to the information in the video. Good video, by the way.

[@TheCrimsonIdol987]

All valid points. I would add that even in gun friendly states where the local law enforcement supports and advocates for firearms (like my state, Idaho), they ALL say get a lawyer in that situation. It's a simple matter that the police are there to clean up the mess and make arrests, while the lawyers and courts determine guilt or innocence. Plain as that, really. So the police aren't your legal advocates, lawyers are, a fact that makes many people uncomfortable. On top of all of this, people get very unrealistic when it comes knife or gun defense. I personally believe there is no such thing as a knife fight where the two fighters DON'T end up in the hospital, and a gun "fight" is simply a person handling a gun, and a person who has been shot. No joke, there are people who will say "Assailants can disarm you of your gun!" Well, yeah, but first he's going to get shot. Also, fighting is really messy. Things can go south in a fraction of a second, no matter how good you are at fighting. Add weapons to this, and death is but a flick of the wrist, or a single pull of a trigger away. Avoidance should be the main go-to in self-defense. Unless life or limb is at risk of being lost, avoid fights if at all possible.

[@ffnovice7]

Guns (I'm a lifetime CHL CCW owner) are a go to for me, but my SO is in los Angeles of all places. I read hoping this year's LACounty sheriff being very liberal with permits would be good for us, but since I'm not there in person, it's hard to handhold my SO through the rigorous process. I'm recommending a Women's BJJ free trial to her in her area, but I'm constantly worried about teetering past the line of pushing her too far. I'm not sure what to do

[@JohnnyJoe]

I have female friends and acquaintances who have gone feminist self-defense and then wanted to show me grapples and throws they learned. When they then asked me to "act perpetrators" and grab them and hold them, it ended every time with them complained that I have held them "wrong" and that they could not show the grip(throw because of that. I am a big guy, more than 140 kg distributed over 188 cm and not someone who anyone can throw too easily. It feels stupid when someone claim that they do not get you down with a throw/grip because the opponent is wrong. Yeah right, they can try to say that if they meet a real perpetrator sometime.

[@beccalopez1004]

I'm in the midst of developing a course and im so glad I came across your vid. Honestly taking this to heart & will make sure I add this info to my class. You are right all the way. Its helpful getting things from a different perspective

[@Whyohwhymybrain]

i was just talking with my therapist about this, just so happens a youtuber i already sub to talked about it is great, i had all the same opinions

[@ffnovice7]

What types of therapy do you recommend from your personal experience?

[@rosebud_blooming]

Yes about that victim slogan. Thank you so much for calling it out. Us survivors appreciate it💕

[@huansitoaguilar9405]

I agree , eventhough I'm of the testicular perspective as a kid I was gaslighted regularlly & as a teen became a bully { this didn't allow me have healthy relationships or social habits } , when I learned martial arts was good for this I jumped in head first [ at the same time I was dealing with social anxiety & depression ] to silence my panic and fears I would train at the gym [ sometimes faded , some times not ; it also helped in taking it seriouslly ] keeping in mind the progress and the areas that need work for the next time I had to train . I felt I grew in confidence , learned moves almost intuitivelly ; I was so concentraited in putting distance between the " frail feeling " and low self-esteem and the person I wanted to be I would study other moves I wanted to learn { on my free time } , also meditated on my goal of a fully developed healthy persona [ some times faded other times not ] . It goes without mentioning a healthy diet was part of the healing , just sharing what could be opption for some ; also don't be scared or ashamed of fighting dirty eye gauging , stabbing behind the knee or groing . A street fight is a street fight , no rules ; but like the Art of War says : when you get a chance do enough damage that trauma will happen to the attacker to prevent him/ or her from retaliating later in the future [ take even their money ] . Good luck

[@ALinn-vr3nl]

I think your video title is inaccurate, overly-broad, harmful, and does a disservice to any and all women's self-defense classes. Please change the title. Most "self-defense classes for women" are taught by men, and men who are definitely not pro-feminist. They've never so much as picked up a feminist book, let alone a feminist self-defense book, in their life. Their classes are short, as you say, and focus on "maneuvers." (The latter, the focus on maneuvers, is also a problem with most martial arts classes. Indeed, there are many downsides to martial arts classes, that that is why the feminist self-defense movement of the 1970s was born.) In truly feminist, well-researched self-defense classes, female--not male--instructors teach that ~95% of self-defense is prevention. It is not mostly about physical maneuvers. It's situational awareness, knowing what to do ahead of time, before he's physically attacked. It's psychological, learning to trust one's instincts, knowing how to respond early to a potentially dangerous situation as long as possible before the attacker is within arm's reach or can reach you, knowing to turn and face a man who is potentially dangerous to you: rather than walking away while looking over one's shoulder while hoping he won't attack and behaving like fleeing prey. It is about women discussing their experiences, so far, in life, with violence, what they've been taught that can be helpful or harmful and why, and how these experiences can affect preventing and handling dangerous situations in the future. It's about gradually dealing with fear and overwhelm and building confidence, not just by practicing maneuvers, but discussing all the above and getting support throughout, which I've observed can really bring out the fighter in many women. I encourage you to research the feminist self-defense movement, which probably will require going back to some 40 - 50 year old books, because it has been gutted by anti-feminists in the last several decades. I would suggest re-titling this video as: Some Problems to Look for in Women's Self-Defense Classes. I suggest "Some" because you have only identified a few, and left out some of the key ones: 1. Taught by men. 2. Taught by women who have never studied, or never studied thoroughly, the body of work on feminist self-defense. 3. The problems with using male attackers in role-playing sparring. 4. Not discussing myths and facts about women's self-defense. 5. Not teaching the unique strengths that women have for fighting off attackers. 6. Focus on physical maneuvers, rather than psychological and prevention strategies, which are most of self-defense, especially for women, because these don't require superior strength or extensive training; and reduce the element of surprise, etc. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I hope you will change the title, and research the herstory and content of feminist self-defense materials. There used to be lots of feminist books and research papers on the subject.

[@amyhull754]

Yeesssssss!!!! You can't just do a one-day or two-hour class and be ready. And "don't LET" ...oh, HELL, no. I HATE that phrasing. I think it's SUPER harmful, as is, "Why do you LET THAT BOTHER you??" ...as if someone HARMING you is something "let" harm you rather than, "That harmed me"?? Also? I HATE the emphasis on, "Be ready when a STRANGER attacks you...." as if that is the more likely type of assault or abuse someone will face. Thank you for this excellent set of points that matches much of my frustration too.

[@windsor9]

I'm so happy you talked about this!

[@faisalrio4433]

I had trained almost 3 years in BJJ and 1 year in Muay Thai from my experience I am totally agree that without having those technique in muscle memory it is impossible to execute. However, there are something which I want to add. I have seen in lot of women self defence classes they just let you fight with non resisting partners which is not an actual simulation of real life scenarios. Besides, many classes teach bullshido techniques which you can not verify if you are not practicing with non resisting partners. So my suggestion will be women should practice with strong resisting dudes. If you are not familiar with male aggression you will definitely put your life in danger.. And most importantly if your state permits carry a gun. No self defence out there is as effective as a gun.

[@jimsmoak]

You are bang on in this video. The vast majority of self classes are incredibly dangerous in that they position themselves as a complete solution, when physical skills are the last resort. They’re really important, but the psychological skills (like you said) as well as good preventative skills such as good situational awareness are equally, if not more important. Good job on this video!

[@Trumkin42]

I once saw a female led bjj school that also went in depth into establishing boundaries and understanding when those boundaries are violated, so that in situations where you are not attacked out of the blue by a stranger you can still respond appropriately to a threat

[@robnecronomicon1570]

Good bid. You are correct... To get good at anything you just have to practice it until it becomes motor memory. Specific techniques rarely work under duress (due to lack of fine motor skills with an adrenaline dump) - Principal based learning is far better and easier to access under real combat conditions. The psychological (and awareness training) aspects MUST be addressed. If you're not doing those you might as well be attending an aerobics class.

[@waymilky442]

Bad people will always exist. While it's important to work on reducing these instances they will never fully go away.

[@JoelHuncar]

This is wonderful! Thank you for posting. I am sharing this.

[@liamodonovan6610]

I love your opinions jo awesome video your always interesting love you jo

[@ashleejohnson2753]

Great video! Have you ever done martial arts? I'm doing Krav Maga and found that when my male partner is wearing a cup, groin kicks don't seem to work very well. Do you have any experience practicing on a guy wearing a cup?

[@ffnovice7]

Jab the eyes. Bruce Lee. Knees are weak to stomps, unless you're light. Hurt the eyes, hurt the groin, hurt the eyes, etc. until you can get away

[@Timothy-NH]

Like shooting, fighting and defending yourself are perishable skills!

[@mikesteelheart]

In the self defense classes you've taken, did the women ever ask how long one groin strike will get a guy down lol?

[@davegoodridge8352]

Awareness and avoidance

[@ffnovice7]

Prevention is the best cure

[@JenniAudrey0606]

Nodding along to everything you’re saying Jo like “yeeeeeees”

[@dancingclo]

I cannot recommend SOMATIC EXPERIENCING ENOUGH. It's a type of therapy that some psychologists will do and it gets you to build neural pathways between traumas, triggers, FFFF responses and self regulation and calm safe nervous system responses. It has really helped. I realise it has a financial cost and thats not necessarily super accessible. BUt there are so many people training in this perhaps working with a practitioner as they get qualified would be more available.... CANNOT RECOMMEND ENOUGH. I am organising a Self defence workshop tomorrow and want to make sure that we don't re trigger people so I am researching how to make it trauma informed and have lots of safety resources within the workshop. All constructive advice welcome :)

[@ffnovice7]

Somatic?

[@rosebud_blooming]

Great opinion!! I have high anxiety already. I cant imagine an attack

[@alancranford3398]

I'm late to this party but I have to agree with you on "women's self-defense." Women deserve more. I have been collecting training material on women's self-defense and have reprints of techniques dating back to the Thirties. My experience is different--retired soldier, worked as a security officer for three decades, even earned a purple belt in Kenpo Karate (below the brown belt level there seem to be many different sequences, and I tend to oversimplify as white belts, "tween belts.' brown and black--that showcases my ignorance of the arts). I collected women's self-defense material because if the techniques work for a small non-athlete who has little or no mental conditioning it will work for anybody. One of my co-workers was constantly being bullied and going through the channels wasn't an option at the time and place, so I taught her to reflexively strike and flee to safety. I haven't seen follow-up taught--what do you do after decking your attacker? She was to go to the women's room and lock herself inside and then call the police on her cell phone. Got a lot of laughs from the bully--our boss. The first lesson was under 15 minutes including explanation and then a few times per shift I'd have her practice a palm strike (body mechanics to enhance the strike) with a yell (part of that was to forget the pain, part was ferocity, and part was to startle the attacker), and then she'd simulate breaking contact to get away. It only took a few minutes daily practice--more effective than practicing for a full hour once per week. One day I heard a shriek and a thud--the bully was sitting on the floor gasping for breath. I asked if he needed an ambulance--my co-worker had decked him when he slapped her butt. Knock him down, knocked the breath out of him, shocked him to his core. The palm strike exploited her natural reaction to push away someone. The next day, the bully boss apologized, and he stopped physical harassment of all of his co-workers. Again--the follow-up was getting to safety and reporting. Without the follow-up, even pepper spray escalates without solving the problem. Don't hose down someone and then stand there admiring your handiwork--take the steps so that there is no second attack.

[@mpaso6634]

Yeah that and men are just a lot physically stronger than most women. As a young woman, I never really thought about how strong men actually are until I started rolling against them in Jujitsu. I hate women self defense classes because they give women a false sense of security that they could handle a grown man going full strength and full speed. These classes in my opinion are a great way to get women hurt, hospitalized or worse.

[@ffnovice7]

But is it better to not learn something?

[@woshdndndj2103]

@@ffnovice7 Yes, it saves time to not learn it

[@waymilky442]

You're a fool.

[@waymilky442]

A heavy woman is stronger than a scrawny guy. This isn't always true.

[@michaelenns8872]

Rule of thumb: You see self defense this, self defense that on a martial arts gym...run You see: wrestling, Muay Thay, Judo, Boxing, Kickboxing...you go there and train your ass of. Wrestling should be the focus. Wrestling is number one, it barely is even a competition.

[@MrA2Zor029]

Jo! As usual very insightful & articulate. love Steve Holliday

[@TraumaTalk]

Thanks so much Steve!!

[@notts26]

Spot on. I think you are 110% Wright. In what you have said. So much bs out there about this topic.

[@danielandrews1801]

I agree with the shortcomings of women's self defense classes, but would you say they do more good than harm?

[@ffnovice7]

Maybe incomplete without the mindset?

[@keke8880]

They do more harm

[@mojojeinxs9960]

A sock full of nickels and a straight razor. Learn how to use both.

[@ffnovice7]

Depends on the city, whether that is counted as Self Defense or Premeditated Assault against the assailant

[@keke8880]

I haven't started the video yet but I already agree with the title. My dad made me do self defense classes when i was like 13 and it was me and bunch of sweaty adult disgusting men. I had to "spar" with them and it was awful. My dad thought this was a sure-fire way to prevent someone from assaulting me. Of course it hasnt been. The teacher was clueless too. Since, many men have told me that self defense classes are all women need to be safe. They think it "prevents" a large percentage of assaults which is ridiculous. Men are so much stronger than women. It's like adult vs small child. The small child could be a black belt but the adult's strength trumps that. You'll notice it's mostly men who disagree with you here. But men have not grown up as women have and cannot understand what being a girl was like; women have experience since they were old enough to talk, in most cases, of detecting predators and trying to protect themselves from them. Men have 0 experience with this. Bar fights, being jumped once or twice does not count. Women have spent every day of their lives sussing out men and boys around them. Just another instance where men think they know more than women on something (mostly) only girls and women experience.

[@lauragreene9660]

yeah and also while they are so keen on teaching women to defend themselves (I understand their good intentions), why is nobody offering how-to-not-commit-crimes classes marketing towards men?😤The whole “don’t let yourself be victims” thing is really upsetting, it’s always, always, always at the fault of those who harm other people and it’s always always always those people who are totally responsible for what happens.

[@tisko7188]

Women are also abusers but you don't see it

[@MikeTXBC]

Because people already know they shouldn't rape, just like they shouldn't commit other crimes, such as murder... yet they do it anyway. The people who see nothing wrong with raping, abusing, murdering, etc., aren't going to take a "how-to-not-commit crimes" class. It's not like these people are clueless and upon being told they shouldn't violate someone else they'll suddenly go, "Huh. I never thought about it like that!" No, they don't give a damn! This is why the only thing that can be done is victim prevention and that means those who're seen as "prey" need to do what they can to minimize their chances of becoming a victim.

[@woshdndndj2103]

Crime is inevitable with high testosterone, sorry but it’s impractical to think that rape will end by educating boys

[@muhammednaif9927]

people commit crimes due to various reasons, i think you need to grow up to know that reasons

[@kitkat77187]

@@muhammednaif9927 what are you on about? Raising awareness and holding people accountable is just as important, but for the most part what mike says is 100% true, people will rape and abuse others because they want to and because they think they'll get away with it. There are plenty of infuences behind why people do things they do, but it is still a personal choice to intentionally hurt others, and at the end of the day that is their choice and their responsibilty. Why are you saying "crimes" in a general sense when we are specifically talking about rape and abuse & murder of innocent ppl, particularly women? The reason they are targeted is because men choose to keep misogyny alive, and society makes up a bunch of bull to let them off the hook.

[@mechaile]

You're right

[@tonysicily2687]

Whilst I agree that a 2 hours “self defense” class has almost no value, I do disagree that a 15-20 hour self defense class is equally pointless. I would put any of my students up against any student from your class (given the same number of hours of training). Having done classic martial arts for 30 years I can tell you (IMHO) that they are useless for selfdefense. Real fighting is chaotic, without rules, and is limbic in nature, and students must be taught to deal with the reality of street fighting, not a watered down sport.

[@writingmelody]

This is what I’ve said!

[@bobadams7654]

Some good points, but starting off by saying BJJ is great for self defence is contradicted by all your points in the talk.

[@TraumaTalk]

Hi Bob, thanks so much for watching! 😊 BJJ is fantastic for real world self defense, but like any skill, it needs to be practiced and practiced. A one or two hour self defense course isn't going to get you to the point where you or your body remember the moves in a high stress or fear situation (for 99.9% of people). What they are actually teaching may be great, but the way it is often presented (take this class, defend yourself) is what I find problematic.

[@ffnovice7]

Is it bad to recommend a Women's BJJ trial class to an SO? I know it ain't a panacea but I'm feeling it's just one baby step. The long term goal is to get my SO out of los Angeles.L, where it happened

[@bobadams7654]

@@TraumaTalk hi again, just rewatched the video. Please explain why you think BJJ is really good for real world self defence. Would love to hear your perspective. Thnx.

[@eriknelson2559]

who needs their 2A human right to personal protection and self-defense when they're already magic Kung Fu grand masters

[@lramos45]

Fight like a crazed wildcat!

[@ffnovice7]

Never allow yourself to be taken to Crime Scene B, because they will take you out of a semi-public place and to a possibly fatal area

[@michaelbuick6995]

Here's the only piece of self defence advice for women that actually works: carry a gun. Obviously obey the law check what is legal in your jurisdiction.

[@johnelliott1223]

the difference between a competitive bjjj match is both are trying to get the submission but the trouble is in a self defence class you do the move several times to get it right if Iam pretending to be an attacker & she gets it wrong Iam not going to hurt her but if Iam a real attacker attacker I would so I think a woman should do proper martial arts rather then a course in self defence if I do boxing as a fitness class then went in a ring I would be destroyed

[@jacobbrendle1508]

I can't stand 90% of women's self-defense classes because for the most part every single one I've seen besides the people that I know that teach them and actually have credentials but every single one I've seen is a single class maybe once every three months that teaches moves that no one is going to remember. Also I get the fact that there's women that have trauma and don't want to be touched by men but when you train moves with 120 lb woman and then try that on a 200 with the idea that it's going to work you're going to be instantly stopped and realized that your powerless because you haven't worked on that technique enough to deal with a bigger opponent not that you have much of a chance even if you're trained but it's much better to come in with a realistic expectation. My girlfriend took a class I told her not to go I told her I was going to be waste of money anyway she went and they taught her how to do a basic jiu jitsu move the shrimp how to get out and away from someone if they're like on you or inside control and she said she was doing really good she was able to get out every time with a woman. So in order to demonstrate that you need technique to get out I just sat on top of her and had her attempt to get out from under me without me using any strength or technique just me using my size she was not able to get out from under me. Unless you are consistently training in boxing BJJ or more Muay Thai you have very little chance against a weak man

[@Kwietwahker]

Amazing video thanks and I totally agree

[@bobdigital21]

Frankly I don't think you went hard enough. Actually executing any hold or counter in a real world situation is incredibly hard. Even if the other person doesn't understand what you're doing they will sense it and instantly will not cooperate. They will yank that arm back. They will spin wildly and do whatever they can to get out. Hit you with there other hand, push off you, head butt you, bring you to the ground, push you against a hard surface, fall on top of you, ect... It could be anything. And it will be very difficult to execute any type of hold against someone of equal strength, let alone someone like much much stronger and larger/taller than you. You mention jujitsu, and frankly even if the guy knows nothing, you NEVER want to get in close with a guy if your a girl if you can help it. Learn to gain distance, not close it. Even with far superior skill it is a losing proposition almost every time, unless you are trained to a crazy high level. By this I mean pro or near pro a woman will get stomped by the type of man that would likely assault her. Of course it depends on the guy as well. When it comes to woman's self defense the entire class should be about learning to escape a few basic holds if they come up until it becomes automatic. Not counter them. Quickly get out of them and away from the attacker. IT is far less complex. Next they should learn how to instantly get to a weapon you have on you. Pull out that mace, knife or gun over and over and over and over until it is second nature and lightning fast. Learning at what distance your safe or not safe is huge too and something not understood by many people, Most feel it is arms length or a single step into arms length. .Not at all true, people do not understand how suddenly people can close 10 feet or even 15 feet. How to practice situational awareness and apply it effectively. To know how high your radar needs to be in different situations. Stuff like that.

[@rosebud_blooming]

Preach

[@morkymoose9590]

So then what would you say would be affective for women when it comes to self defense? Would learning how to fight then using what they know towards self defense be useful Because you mentioned how these classes are limiting.

[@byronhenry6518]

How about a gun?

[@margaretworley1116]

... Jo... is that you? How did I not know about this channel?!

[@jonahsimmons3645]

Women's self defense 101: bazuka and panzer

[@Marco-n7m8n]

I'm offer myseld as living dummy

[@pleasedontdestroythiseither]

6

[@zeus982]

Interesting that you don’t mention the number one thing wrong with these classes. And that is even if you take the class for six months, train till you get the muscle memory needed and will not freeze or flight but will fight... the average male far outmatches the average female in baseline strength. You can do whatever move you want, but you will be taken down because the guy is far far stronger. The best move to make? Groin strike then run the fuck away.

[@peterbonucci9661]

There are martial arts that address that. Jujitsu is actually a good choice for overcoming the strength difference.

[@mpaso6634]

@@peterbonucci9661 don’t want to be a douche but as a female who regularly trains in Jujitsu for the past two years, I disagree. I roll with men of varying sizes and weight with some success but I know that if they actually went full strength on me they could break out of whatever I try to put them in or if was a real situation where they can throw punches and kicks...I would be dead. Jujitsu is a great self defense learning tool but it’s takes a lot of time to be proficient in and even then it’s only one tool that won’t always come up in a real life situation . I carry a firearm (and either a knife or pepper spray) because I know that against a man it is the best equalizer.

[@peterbonucci9661]

@@mpaso6634 In my Aikido classes, we had a 100 lb female black belt who could definitely throw me around.

[@borgie5409]

The first thing that should be taught is to not actually try to Fight a man, Try to do damage and Withdraw (put distance between you), in a straight up fight, especially no rules or holding back 99% of women would lose to 99% of the men! If that statement makes me a misogynist in your eyes so be it but I don't want women to end up dead thinking they could take on a man in hand to hand combat because they have training! If a woman wants to defend herself I'd recommend a pistol and concealed carry License if the state you reside in has it, the great equalizer!

[@afonphoenix16]

A trained female martial artist will do VERY well against an untrained man. But women's self defense is not martial arts training. And trained female fighters do a FUCKTON of strength training. The average untrained woman does not.

[@janise01]

First, self defense training isn't training women to get into fist fights with men. The main objective is getting away. Second, if a man grabs a woman how is she going to get her gun? Unless she sees him coming from a distance, something she can learn in a self defense class, it's more likely he'll just take the gun and now have a deadly weapon as well.

[@byronhenry6518]

⁠@@janise01We can what if ourselves to death here. Bottom line is: A woman with a gun is far more likely to actually successfully defend herself from a man than a woman without one. Carry the gun somewhere practical and accessible, get training, and learn how deadly force laws apply in your jurisdiction. Guns make us truly equal. As a man, if I had to be in a fight against a woman, I’d much rather it be a fist fight vs a gunfight. My size and strength advantage vanishes if she has a gun. Gun rights are women’s rights.

[@janise01]

@@byronhenry6518 how many women carry the gun unholstered in their hand while walking down the street? If she doesn't, it's far more likely she'll be attacked and subdued before she can even get the gun to use. Not to mention that if he didn't already have a gun then he probably does now.

[@byronhenry6518]

@@janise01 There are numerous occasions on Active Self Protection’s KZbin channel of female concealed carriers and off-duty cops effectively using their firearms to defend themselves, In public, drawing guns from concealment. I understand your concern, and it’s a valid one, but the truth is that women with guns stand a better chance than women without guns. Doesn’t even need to be randomly in their hand. Even with minimal training and moderate practice anybody can draw and fire a gun from accurately in under two seconds. The level of skill and proficiency required to effectively carry a gun and deploy it isn’t as high as most people think. You don’t need to be some Navy Seal/SWAT/Delta Force/Ninja Warrior badass to responsibly handle and carry a firearm.

[@successfulexcellent1646]

If you have the Spotify app, and if you would like to find out about an interesting podcast, then type in 'Successful Excellent - Bodily Security', and take heed to the warning....."AND BY THE WAY", any foreign woman who comes to America illegally is not legally allowed to take even 1 self defense class 🤚

[@anthonysicily5768]

Going into a mind blowing rage whenever you see a self defence poster, is, well an indicator of your state of mind. Maybe you should see WHAT they teach first .... Just an idea... 🤔 Happy to discuss what I teach in my own 25 hours SelfDefence class. But I do agree with a lot of your points, which is why 70% of my (100% FREE, I do not believe in charging to help others be safe) classes cover pre fight techniques, and do not rely on complex ‘defences’ And...... I am very serious, I would love to chat further.

[@azzazz4549]

Women should learn the Art of fighting without fighting

[@ffnovice7]

The life or death fight not taken is the fight best won

[@afonphoenix16]

Yes, just let him kill you.🙄🤦

[@mikearakelian6368]

You need to explore target focus tra. Tim Larkin has self protection protocol s for all... Not just women!

[@shrim1481]

THATS MY PURSE! I DONT KNOW YOU!!

[@paxmule]

𝑩𝒐𝒃𝒃𝒚 𝑯𝒊𝒍𝒍!