My Spouse Wants Separate Finances!

My Spouse Wants Separate Finances!
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[@johannrodriguezdino]

This question should have been settled before standing on that altar. Heck, this should have been settled before getting engaged.

[@Cody_Ramer]

Agreed.

[@Sheryl777]

Johann Dino agree...she said that he changed his mind right before they got married. That should have been her first clue! If she wasn't going to be happy living with that, then she shouldn't have married him.

[@johannrodriguezdino]

@@Sheryl777 it's a deal breaker for some people, whether its moral or faith based reasons. The embarassment of calling of a wedding, even with the expenses factored in, is nothing compared to the pain of being stuck in a marriage you hate, and the eventual divorce that follows.

[@Sheryl777]

@@johannrodriguezdino Yes I totally agree with you.

[@jimroscovius]

My wife and I had everything planned out before getting engaged. Financially, kids, etc. Been married for almost 42 years now. No debt, paid-off house, etc.

[@hothotheat3000]

People don’t talk about money because it “ruins the romance”. Know what else ruins romance? Divorce. If you can’t get on the same page about money, children, and household responsibilities, you have no business getting married.

[@melissa5844]

divorce happens for other reasons by side money ok . some time the man or woman aren't who you married they charge and you think they can change with time but they don't. If I was you I wouldn't judge people that have gotten divorced.

[@twincherry4958]

@@melissa5844 #1 cause of divorce is $$. Fact.

[@michaelmarquez6133]

Calm down

[@jackieboo6776]

I agree! 9 years it's a long time

[@tagaway6173]

@@melissa5844 hotheat listed other reasons besides money. So I dont understand your comment.

[@Indianahillclimber]

Don't marry anyone you don't trust 100%.

[@dianer8881]

Don't trust anyone. Everyone lies. This is a fact.

[@bsizzlehill2283]

Marry the hottest chick possible. Then give her everything. Being homeless isnt so bad :)

[@ilonaanna9350]

You can't trust anyone. Ever. Dot

[@Indianahillclimber]

@@dianer8881 ask yourself this question: Should someone trust me with everything they have, I mean everything? If you can't answer yes then you should not marry. If however you say yes then find someone like yourself. You will only be able to identify an honest person when you are one.

[@glorymanheretosleep]

Yeah, trust can never be 100%...

[@ivybanks7936]

"If you want to be independent you should not get married". Boom! That's why I'm still single! I can't stand the arguments, emotional issues and dramas, marriage comes with. Best to be on my own - it's far more Peaceful.

[@bradymcintyre7393]

Is it really more peaceful tho

[@NoName-kq9kl]

@@bradymcintyre7393, yes

[@retiredmanager510]

Exactly!! Every time someone has told me she is independent I tell her perfect. I don’t want to mess that up and make you codependent. Let’s keep our finances separate. It allowed me to semi-retire in my 40’s. It all became clear as day when I was 24 and I put a down payment on my home. The girl I was dating wanted access to my wallet. I told her I had to watch my money and was moving back with my parents. She called me a loser, got furious and stormed off. I didn’t tell her I was in a 30 day escrow and had bought a place in a gated community a couple miles from the beach. From that point forward I never said how much I make. Life’s been great. I’ve traveled, I’ve had some great experiences and I still do when I choose to.

[@zoraster3749]

Retired Manager Life hacks

[@JAMANIJAMANI]

@@retiredmanager510 Great game plan! Taking notes, lol.

[@tjbalistic]

An only child and only grandchild? In his entire life, he has never had to share anything.

[@SC-gp7kt]

Exactly. Sense of entitlement for sure.

[@oddixgames6704]

Tells nothing, I'm the only child and grandchild - one learns how to share not only from the siblings.

[@SC-gp7kt]

@@oddixgames6704 Only if one chooses to. Most do not. Good on you that you did learn, you are better for it. Peace.

[@zachjones6944]

A big family can be a good thing or a bad thing. A lot of families are filled with bums.

[@joaoph9391]

If he is only child and only grandchild he might be inheriting a large amount. He may want to protect that. It's not just about what you built together, but in case of divorce he can lose the house he grew up in.

[@DWoods2727]

I've been married 32 years and we have separated checking accounts and never had a issues but we both have the same goals and are financial secure.

[@Abu_Shawarib]

There are entire countries that have separate finances by default. All of this talk about combining finances as some divine duty is insane to me.

[@cw_chomperrr3275]

Agreed. Me and my wife have separate accounts and a joint account. We use the joint for bills and are completely open with our accounts with each other.

[@zachjones2346]

@@cw_chomperrr3275 so then what's the point of separate accounts.....

[@BlueDauntless]

Sounds like roommates.

[@katemiller7874]

You don’t have any accounts together or just checking. That’s awful. Why get married.

[@LarvisK10]

I wonder how many times Dave’s suggestion to seek counselling on this issue has resulted in the counsellor recommending separate accounts... :/

[@SledgeHammer99]

LarvisK10 Dave would be singing a very different tune if his wife “found herself” and decided she needed half his insane income to go through with it

[@Sheryl777]

@@SledgeHammer99 The whole point Dave was making is that it's not "his" income...it's "theirs" since they are married. After all, she stayed home and raised "his and her" kids. That's a pretty big job in itself. Once married there is no "mine" or "yours"...it's "ours".

[@SledgeHammer99]

Sheryl777 You can have separate finances and make it work. So you’re saying Jeff Bezos wife is worth 38 billion? What parts of building that empire did she have part in? I’m not saying a wife should walk away penniless, but raising kids for a few years shouldn’t amount to a husband paying endless alimony and losing half his net income.

[@Sheryl777]

@@SledgeHammer99 And if a man (or woman for that matter) is worried that their future spouse might "take" income away from them at some point, then they don't need to get married in the first place.

[@SledgeHammer99]

Sheryl777 Like buying a car without car insurance. It’ll never happen to me, right? 🤦🏻‍♂️

[@alexc5369]

Fun fact: Brad Pitt is only 3 years younger than Dave Ramsey.

[@twincherry4958]

😶

[@na0m1fes51]

How old is Dave .. ? just asking..🤔

[@jasmine9538]

And Brad is beginning to look his actual age.

[@thecatnextdoor12]

Brad Pitt: 56, Dave: 59, also 59 are Barack Obama and George Clooney.

[@nmc1859]

Dave Ramsey has a MUCH better head on his shoulders which is even more attractive imo. God Bless him and his lovely wife❣

[@quartkneek3670]

I know couples that have a joint account and two separate checking accounts where the paychecks go into the joint account which is used for household expenses and savings while the two individual accounts are for personal spending - gifts or incidentals. Still fits into a household budget and still accounted for without either person feeling dominated or controlled around their spending.

[@Sheryl777]

Ideally, if they are working as a team, neither one of them should have to worry about feeling dominated or controlled.

[@mattpkp]

Why? You can have personal spending money in 1 account, its called the most basic budgeting.

[@quartkneek3670]

@@mattpkp I get it but some people have a higher threshold for privacy - usually from intimacy issues. I see the separate spending accounts as a way of forced portion control. Hashing out the issue with a counselor is a good idea to see which part of the mindset is the motivating factor. It's discretionary funds to use discretely if there are trust issues but it's also each person's fun money to do with as they please.

[@coasteyscoasteys4150]

@@Sheryl777 Marriage is not perfect neither are finances. Couples should do what works Separate accounts and one joint is great

[@Sheryl777]

@@coasteyscoasteys4150 That's right...it's each couple's decision to do whatever they want...For us though, we decided to follow Dave's plan as he has it laid out, and it worked really well for us....So why would we want to change it?...We wouldn't! It works just fine as it is. People can disagree or change any part of that plan any way they want to. But he has it the way he has it for a reason and that's because it works. Good luck to you and nice talking to you.

[@MrJoshuabacon]

My wife and I have a joint account. 80% of our money goes into the joint account. We keep 20% for ourselves in our individual accounts for hobbies and such. The 80% goes to debt, investing, budgets in general.

[@luisfernando5998]

Tmrw she will leave with the 100%

[@yushi911]

We do the same and we are not married but in common law union. Trust doesn’t come with the wedding marriage. Our joint account give us a monthly “pocket money”😊

[@kodrafamily]

We started out with a joint account and left the finances to my spouse. I took care of house, kids. We both worked. Realized years later I was a better person with bills. And I decided to have 1 household account that we each put money into for household bills. AND we each have a personal account. Our personal spending is to go out of our personal account. Anything for house, kids, pets, goes in the household account. Then neither of us have ask the other to spend personal money.

[@oddixgames6704]

That's a smart move! My next marriage (if ever happen) would be set up the same way.

[@elleivers9387]

Lisa Kodra I like that arrangement, I feel that each party (especially employed and contributing) should have their own personal account in addition to the joint account. I don't want a family meeting everytime I want to make a sizable purchase...

[@BustaShenanigans]

Do you put in 50/50 to the household account or is it based on income percentages?

[@LetsTalkPersonalFinance]

If he doesn't trust her with money then why did he marry her in the first place??

[@kazi1]

In case she did a act

[@raallen1468]

She was superb in the bedroom.

[@jonymanay]

Pros: Good food, good loving, nice smile, has a job. Cons: in debt, annoying family.

[@carlosortega8847]

This should be discuss prior marriage. This cause my divorce.

[@koreypaul6698]

@Dr. Johnny Sins How would you know, doc? Lol

[@rayj.9568]

She said that her husband changed his stance on joint vs. separate accounts after they got married.

[@koreypaul6698]

@@rayj.9568 Seriously. A background and credit check can't save you from that..

[@FierceFamily]

It's deeper than that and even as a woman me realizing that I dont want joint accounts is a reflection of the issues in our marriage. His issues and mine, trust, control and priorities can be tied to how we spend money and think about money

[@Mark-ye9pi]

@Atty. Johnny Sins Personal Finance Most people’s divorce is over finances. It’s very common.

[@jumpmanyang3117]

"Jesus said your treasure is where your heart is; where you spend your money is a direct reflection of what your views on life are." Dave, what you said is so profound, your advice truly helps me to see what's important for me. Great job!!

[@brutustantheiii8477]

I’m a Christian and even I think that is FOOLISH. Unless your joint account is with Jesus Christ Himself, NO ONE should trust ANYONE with their Finances, unless you want to play Russian roulette. Get with the times. You want to be together because YOU WANT TO BE, NOT because you’d be destitute or have to be destroyed when the other ‘spouse’ cleans you out

[@creature57]

@@brutustantheiii8477 Agreed! This is not worthy of marital counseling. This is a personal choice. When you get married, you're still two separate people like two trees growing next to one another - roots start to intertwine and the branches overlap but you are TWO PEOPLE! This doesn't have to define your marriage unless you want it to. Don't agree with Dave here.

[@bravehats]

Solution - have 3 accounts. One account for you, one for him and a joint for both of you. Both of you contribute 90% of your income in your joint and the remaining 10% in your personal account. That way, his/your personal accounts can be used for your personal things without permission.

[@jonymanay]

Thats what i do. This topic gets bought up every few weeks though. And many are staunch one way or the other.

[@mikederucki]

Or just budget from the 100% joint account an agreed amount for each other to spend freely.

[@greggpurviance7252]

Fixes nothing,simply hides 20%

[@kimpritchard4322]

We have successfully so far employed the 3 account system. Our joint expenses are carefully monitored. I control it but he can question anything that goes out. I tend to want to save. He tends to want to be generous with his kids from a previous marriage. As long as both of us keep on track for our retirement plan, 15% to 401k, and extra contributed to joint account to pay off the house early, I don't worry so much what he does with his extra money. We don't fight over it. Knock on wood. :) It is a good compromise.

[@kckuc310]

bravehats exactly

[@MidwestCoinHunter]

Been married for 20 years and my wife and I have had joint accounts from day one, wasn’t even an option. In those 20 years we have NEVER fought about money once! The key.... we are both financially responsible people and knew that about each other before marriage.

[@daniels9795]

Same here. 30 years together. I mean. She spends more than me on shoes, gifts, and gilrs beauty stuff. But other than that. I'm good with. The best way to do it.

[@Lianne459]

I have never merged my finances and we are just fine and have had no problem building wealth together. We pay our bills out of a joint account. This should be personal preference, not religion based.

[@Angela-ne9cy]

Absolutely agree! The issue with this caller and her husband is they're not on the same page, not because the husband's view of separate finances is wrong.

[@toomuchtee9580]

Bingo ! Same with me and mine and we’re fine , no worries..

[@sumobowler3790]

it goes beyond religion. if a couple does not want to combine finances they should not be married. "for richer or poorer" is a marriage vow, not a suggestion. plus, combined finances strengthens the marriage overall

[@toomuchtee9580]

sumo bowler for richer or poorer has been replaced with pre nups, there’s a reason for them these days . It’s just different times 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@TheBlackDorothyZbornak]

If you pay bills out of a joint account you ARE merging your finances o.O

[@Red_Fox8]

I do not get the issue about having a separate account, if my income is 50k and my partner is 100k, why not have a separate account and only share essential stuff food, rent and utilities.. We save separate and invest separate.. We love and support each other but investment choices are different.

[@elizabethallen4353]

“If you want to be independent you shouldn’t get married.” So true! And really not a judgement…..some couples are happier living in separate spaces with separate finances. That can work great!

[@teev7]

When you get married, you’re a team. You become one. That’s why people should really consider marriage and the sacrifices that go along with it before jumping into it.

[@kazi1]

@Tee V not really nowadays. Maybe back in the old days

[@thebrax27]

Spot on

[@karencradic3727]

She said he changed his mind about it right before they got married, sounds like he is not going to stay with her very long, he has plans not to stay and does not want her to know what he is spending the money on. Also they have been together for 8 years he is hiding something

[@texan903]

How is it strictly on him? Who's to say that he didn't make a shocking discovery about his wife's spending habits or her own ability to be truthful? I ended an engagement with someone who I learned is sorely irresponsible, combative and argumentative.

[@Sheryl777]

@@texan903 You did the right thing by calling off the engagement when you found those things out. Unfortunately the woman in the video wasn't smart enough for her own good to do that, and/or if he found those things out about her ahead of time, then he maybe should have called the whole thing off himself. I mean, if he found out she had really bad spending habits or that she isn't truthful, why would he want to marry her until or unless they were able to get that worked out first?

[@TimeisUp22]

Then why marry her? 🤦🏾‍♀️ Why would you waste her time if that’s not what you want. Stop doing the most foolish things.

[@leomik5193]

Hahahaha 🤣😂 yes it is all him she is not guilty. Women will support women even when she has blood on her hands. What are two words that are missing from women dictionary?

[@Sheryl777]

@@leomik5193 not sure about anyone else, but imo it could have gone either way. I don't remember anyone in the video saying the woman had done anything that would have shown that she had blood on her hands though...so we can really only go by the information we are given. We can create scenarios in our minds, but we are only guessing at that point.

[@Uhhlaneuh]

I’m thinking of getting separate checking accounts, my husband doesn’t know how to control his finances at all

[@SunnySummer777]

Husband? Why did you marry him not knowing how he manages his finances??!

[@D-FIANT415]

I feel you 💯%

[@gwillis01]

@@SunnySummer777 I agree. Why did you marry someone you feel is stupid with money?

[@Uhhlaneuh]

Summer K married him pre Ramsey. Finances were the least of our worries as we were dealing with immigration

[@Uhhlaneuh]

Gwin Willis didn’t discover Dave until a year ago.

[@bradymcintyre7393]

This lady talks soooooo slowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

[@graysonk363]

In Kentucky (where I live and where the caller lives) people either talk really slow or really fast.

[@JAMANIJAMANI]

@@graysonk363 lol

[@sangheeozuna3894]

Mmmm Kentucky whiskey

[@twincherry4958]

I thought she was tipsy, at first...

[@DeadLkeMe]

You can adjust the speed on the video......

[@mrprodigy7143]

Notice how it's usually the men in the relationship who wants separate accounts...but them look what happens in divorce Court

[@katemiller7874]

Yes they shouldn’t get married

[@vladamirkb1]

You should have your own accounts and a joint account for the both of you.

[@hollyb6885]

Why do you need your own account? What are you hiding?

[@hollyb6885]

Deangelo Jeremitrius Vickers That’s what I figured. 😁😁😁

[@hbk6042]

Exactly!!! I earn more my money is mine

[@hollyb6885]

Hb K Then you’re not in a marriage. You’re in a roommate agreement

[@hbk6042]

Holly B no we aren’t we are bf gf of 6 years and we have agreed we will keep finances separate when married and share the bills and food etc my money is mine I work hard for it

[@gumarovasquez5825]

This chick has been hitting that Kentucky moonshine since noon.

[@jamesrodrigue9286]

I would bet the husband has a good reason for doing this. We're not hearing the whole story.

[@jondoe5305]

He's probably the saver and she's the spender. She probably makes 2k a month and he makes 5k. But it's "their money".

[@swn69]

My wife and I had a joint account... almost got divorced after 9 years married... and we have separate accounts since then. 32 years... it can be done successfully.

[@oddixgames6704]

Congrats! I wasn't so lucky, 12 years of marriage is gone + she accused me in a financial abuse (I was managing all our money as for the most of that time I was providing for the whole family). Lesson learnt.

[@creature57]

Agreed!

[@middlechamber3574]

Why won't she tell the truth and express that she's irresponsible financially.

[@D-FIANT415]

These are different times Dave. And I don't think she's telling the whole story. I would love to hear his side.

[@haleytruslow7200]

Right? What if she has a serious spending problem?

[@etaaramin9361]

Worse, most marriages nowadays fail, and it's impossible to know if you have a winner or not - literally every married couple earnestly believes they've chosen a winner, and surprise surprise, they usually don't!

[@xyzsame4081]

@@etaaramin9361 He lived with her for 9 years, and they recently married. So he can't know for sure does not really apply. It is true that the divorce rate can scare a person (and he may have a better income than her, OR he is selfish and she is more frugal than him). I get the poit of view of thinking of the divorce when you settle your money and legal affairs in a partnership. I have heard that "how you do money, you do everything". THAT hit home.

[@zacharybohlman4069]

Joint finances makes things so much easier. You don't have to worry about who's paying for what. What happens if one loses their job? People aren't ready to work together as one. People see marriage as just a fancy label for dating and an excuse to have an expensive party but aren't ready to BE married.

[@raallen1468]

Too many couples spend 1-2 years planning a "wedding" but, spend no time planning the marriage...

[@mle011]

Amen!

[@dimediamond]

My mom said this

[@fayzane]

This!

[@teev7]

@ Zachary Bohlman I agree! You summed it up way better than I did.

[@ShakespeareCafe]

Easier to liquidate the bank account when things go South

[@katemiller7874]

@william. Your 2 nd wife is a different than your 1st wife. why are you lumping them both together. Bringing your baggage in the 2 nd marriage.

[@caball3ro]

Acting like she doesn't know why? Shady, but also why marry her if she's giving you pause to share finances. If she's not fit in that sense, what made her marriage material?

[@NoName-kq9kl]

She must be hot

[@texan903]

Many times most people won't show their true personality so early in a relationship. It's either because they are in the honeymoon phase or the person's representative is who the mate is seeing, meaning everyone is putting on their best behavior. Until you have a legitimate disagreement or start to discuss subjects of importance, you will only see part of the person you're with.

[@katieanderson8639]

Watching this channel hand out wisdom makes me realize that I was affected more than I realized by being raised by broken people. My dad is a child and he used to always tell us that you never ever share a bank account with your spouse.

[@Bertuzz84]

Maybe he tried to warn you about something ?

[@brutustantheiii8477]

WRONG. Stop with the shaming language, your dad is 110% CORRECT in THIS way. No way I will give a future wife the Keys to one day abscond with my money in my bank account in leaving me to and run off to God knows what with God knows who. And bank tellers will tell you of the many times when they witness when a spouse has found out the hard way when this happened. Simply do a Yours mines and ours. Joint account for expenses (that you have to agree upon ahead of time of course), but keep your integrity of your money

[@lynnebucher6537]

Sadly, integrity and maturity are lacking in many people. My parents were immature and dysfunctional but thankfully neither cleaned out the other when they divorced.

[@koreypaul6698]

One of his boys or his father talked him into seperate accounts lol

[@Sheryl777]

Could be a fatherless or motherless home he grew up in, and so never learned the value of parents who worked as a team on things.

[@texan903]

Separate accounts is best. The only joint money should be household expenses. Everything else needs to stay separate.

[@ohlalaparis1106]

texan903 explain why?

[@kirkenstang]

@@texan903 Exactly what we do.

[@kirkenstang]

@@ohlalaparis1106 For us, I didn't want to be responsible for her responsibilities, or her for mine. For example, we are a blended family, and I don't feel like I should pay for half of her kids clothes, car insurance, cell phone bills, extra curricular activities ect.

[@Rolltidewhiskey]

Gotta be a trust issue somewhere.

[@darklordbobSmoke]

I really wish they'd quit telling people this nonsense.

[@D-FIANT415]

🤣 me too. This some BS

[@sumobowler3790]

they as in Dave and Anthony or they as in the callers?

[@JW-um5pg]

@@sumobowler3790 Dave.

[@BlueDauntless]

It’s not nonsense. He’s seen it work for over 30 years. I’m sure he knows what he’s talking about.

[@daveramsey1226]

Some people don’t know how to do finances.

[@itchyisvegeta]

All more reason to do it together

[@Mexicobeanpole]

Then they need to learn together.

[@prospersis4540]

This should have been discussed and agreed upon prior to marriage. Make sure you are on the same page with all the major issues/decisions prior to legally bonding yourself to another person.

[@davidliang913]

Interesting how he changed his mind right before marriage 🤔

[@michaelmarquez6133]

What she probably started nagging him more and more about what do you spending money on this or why you spending money here and so finally he came up with this idea like you know what let's do a separate bank account haha money is really hard when it comes with marriage to it's not always easy for me to hear did you go here to spend money there when did you go here but I guess it's just a part of it

[@luminous6969]

Yeah, maybe the reality of her spending the money that he had to work for finally started to sink in.

[@charlesstrong2280]

It makes perfect sense. Especially protection in case of divorce

[@charlesstrong2280]

I disagree totally. My wife and I, We have a joint account (expenses) and two separate accounts(to save for birthdays and holiday gifts).

[@michaelmarquez6133]

@@charlesstrong2280 actually that's how my wife and I have it too or really he has a separate account and then we have a joint account but mostly I'm the one that uses that so there are times where she says like you know it did you go here or what did you buy there haha but not really I don't really spend money like that

[@littleripper312]

Dave needs to stop assuming that the shared bank account is going to work for every couple as the best solution. I think the two separate checking with a shared savings account will also be a good solution for many couples.

[@BlueDauntless]

He bases his advice on 30 years of helping couples with finances. It’s literally what he has seen that works. When couples openly talk about money, work together as a couple, and share the same goals, it works.

[@timothythompson4036]

I disagree. Married couples need to share everything.

[@lolipena8051]

We started off with joint finances. Always caused a fight. I like to save and he likes his daily coffees. After 6yrs we finally said enough. We have separate accounts and 1 joint where each of us put in half for mortgage, house/car bills, things for the house. Everything else from phone down to groceries, separate. I know groceries is odd but we both have different diets so no point for me to pay for steak if I’m not going to eat it.

[@timothythompson4036]

I got married 35 years ago. We had to sit with a preist whi said the same thing. You must have joint accounts and share everything. Savings, debts, mortgages, everything. I cant believe they are letting people get married without premarital counseling. Calling Dave Ramsey about this? Wow.

[@pingupenguin2474]

We have been happily married, with seperate accounts for 26 yrs !!

[@flisfinance5680]

Wow definitely a challenging situation but if you are married you should both know everything about the overall financial situation of the couple!

[@mochopz]

Dave simping again

[@abdelbanosgracia2884]

I thought I was the only one from Louisville Ky listening 👂 to Dave Ramsey Show.....good luck Mrs Sarah.

[@koreanplayboy]

Just because you got "married" doesn't mean everything in your life is fixed lol.

[@JAMANIJAMANI]

true!

[@dete503]

Waiting for all the critters to come out of the woodwork to plug their financial channels

[@ChrisMFlorida]

you know it's coming.. lol

[@michaelmarquez6133]

Just kidding 😂

[@ShakespeareCafe]

The fact she even has to ask the question shows indubitably her partner has qualified reserved motives for not pooling their cash, turning to Dave for his imprimatur notwithstanding. When their relationship falls apart, and it will, she will drain that joint account in a NY minute. Best practice has always been for the partner with the least funds to ask “Honey, can you write me a check?” as the need occurs

[@bridgettetraveler658]

Some accounts together & separate accounts!

[@F22C1]

Why people would ever combine finances is beyond me. Don't people realize you can transfer funds between accounts? Why would you need to combine when you can communicate wants/desires first? Talk, transfer, than purchase. It's not difficult.

[@jasonrodgers9063]

Well said!

[@lostjunglist8704]

I truly pray that I meet and marry a man as wise and as in love as Dave is to his wife. He is such a great husband. Dave, Keep doing what your doing because there are a lot of men who need a Godly man with morals and respect to look up to. Thanks for all that you do! God Bless!

[@zeal4god402]

This is why the financially-savvy should only marry the financially-savvy, then the fear and doubt of combining finances would be non-existent.

[@johnsineni]

Agree, being on the same page is huge.

[@armandocasola9692]

I’ve lost because of this exact problem. Communication and trust. It’s not just about the monies. In fact it’s more about everything else. God bless you all. And be smarter then me

[@razack7883]

Sorry, I’m not sharing a bank account even I get married

[@Sheryl777]

Selfish much? Or maybe it's not selfishness as much as insecurity about sharing and working together with another person.

[@Sheryl777]

@Kayla Ocasio Kayla ok I'll try to answer the best I can. First, if both people are working together as a team where finances are concerned, the other person wouldn't be having "free reign" with your money, because you both would be making financial decisions together when you both sit down to do the budget... So one person wouldn't be having all the say in what happens with the money in that scenario. This is the first time I've ever seen so many people with so much fear of combining incomes with their spouses. It's really amazing to me that anyone would marry someone that they already feel beforehand either 1. wouldn't be able to be trusted, or 2. the fear that if you do combine incomes, the other person would be spying on or controlling you in some way. Remember working out your financial future as a married couple would require teamwork with both people having input into the whole thing. But if a person is so concerned or worried that someone else may have control over them where money is concerned, then I can see why they wouldn't want to combine their money. So the only thing that makes sense to me to explain people's reactions is 3. insecurity in some way (for whatever reason they may have) about sharing and working together with another person that you are married to when it comes to finances, or 4. a person is selfish and doesn't want to share in that particular way.

[@jonymanay]

@@Sheryl777 Hi sheryl shared accounts you are held accountable on every transaction. Me and my dad were in a fishing shop once and i bought a $400 spear. His eyes went wide, are you gonna get permission first he asked. The thing is he had joint accounts. Every thing he bought had to be discussed first. Even though he would probably be allowed. I have one joint for bills and me and my wife have seperate pay accounts. So if i save up i can buy cool stuff no questions asked. I know in relationships theres always one partner that likes to save and one that likes to spend. Ive seen first hand one work hardout while the other spend spend spend.

[@cayden3470]

jonymanay this chick is running off pure emotions and no logic.

[@Sheryl777]

@@cayden3470 lol yeah that's me (if I was who you were talking about). Running off pure emotions haha. Oh and no logic too...can't forget that part *giggles* Thanks...I needed time away from all my (usual) logical thinking to have a good laugh and you helped :)

[@nathanielcarreon5634]

Me and wife have separate finances and are married for 30 years. We actually have less arguments on finances. We just agreed beforehand who is responsible for what bill and any excess is spent as you want.

[@AdvocateSpirit]

If she was a millionaire, would this be a discussion. He would've been willing to join accounts while friends!

[@Sheryl777]

Truth! 😁

[@BernardBrunu1]

If he was broke would she be anxious for a joined account?

[@Sheryl777]

@@BernardBrunu1 If they are working together as a team on their finances, then yes.

[@BernardBrunu1]

@@Sheryl777 Unless they are bringing in similar income while having the same spending budget which is unlikely then having a joined account will only cuz more problems that solve. Unless his having a spending problem then its pointless to have a joined account

[@Sheryl777]

@@BernardBrunu1 Well I mean as I said in another post...to each his own...I earned far less than my husband during our earning years (we're retired now) and following Dave's advice we paid off all our debt, then after saving up our emergency fund we were able to pay off our house. His plan worked perfectly for us...I hope it can do the same for many others as well. And we had a checking & a savings account together. So I can only go by my own experience (and others who call into his show saying they've also had success following his plan.)

[@EarlyBirdCraft]

Husband and I have everything combined. But I have nothing against people who do it separate. Everyone has their own way of things.

[@bstrong4919]

What ever works for your marriage and situation you do what’s best for you .

[@kckuc310]

Nothing wrong with it, gives each other a little independence without having to ask each other for money 💰.

[@FrankieOlive91]

It’s been 13 years and we’ve never combined bank accounts. My choice. We openly discuss money and it never feels like his money vs her money. We decide on who is paying for what bills and then we share responsibilities for things like groceries, gas and gifts. If one of us is short, the other one makes up for it. We don’t fight about money. It bothers me when I hear that there is something wrong with this. It works for us. I grew up with parents that had combined accounts and fought all the time about it. We must be doing SOMETHING right.

[@kazi1]

Jamie Smith 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

[@martell8560]

I'm not financially reckless, but I don't want to ask permission to spend money that I work for. Why can't we be a team and have separate accounts?

[@fayzane]

It's important to foster a sense of 'team' and work together on things. Having completely separate finances works against this mentality and for most folks likely isn't optimal for promoting that sense of 'us' and 'team' and working together. For very independent folks it can work to have a separate attached account in ADDITION to the joint account that a smaller set amt goes in the spouse doesn't have to coordinate in order to spend. But I do agree it's important to be on the same page and work together. If we can't trust our spouses that does not bode well for the marriage.

[@BlueDauntless]

Join accounts and budget together. But make sure there’s a budget line for each person the have some blow money (play money, fun money, whatever you want to call it). That money is to spend how you wish. Your mentality sounds selfish. And marriage isn’t selfish.

[@JW-um5pg]

I can't imagine sharing finances with someone. That sounds like the worst possible idea ever hahaha

[@thecatnextdoor12]

I know, right. Haven’t heard too many worst ideas.

[@Shay-yg7nm]

I agree.. Im married and my husband and I are responsible for certain bills. We keep all our money separate and couldn't be happier. There is no reason to combine money.

[@JW-um5pg]

That sounds very reasonable! Good for you!!

[@brentonbrown6792]

Then don't get married lol

[@Ink30]

If you have a healthy relationship with communication and understanding then combining shouldn't be a big deal if your ideology is the same

[@brookemckenzie1862]

Helpful call.

[@SDALLE99]

I disagree. There’s nothing wrong with having separate accounts. If you cannot trust your partner to have and manage his own account without going astray, then the problem is a lot deeper than finances. Complete trust means trusting your partner to in making independent decisions in the family’s best interest, even if you’re not around. There are situations where independent critical thinking is necessary, and a difference between trust and toxic co-dependency.

[@agentsmith9851]

My wife and I have separate accounts. I make a lot more money, 7 times more then she makes. She saves everything and I pay all of the bills. She saves everything she makes and I have my own savings. It's been this way for 15 plus years and no issues. It doesn't matter, everything is community property anyway. I have several paid of homes, plenty in my retirement. I don't see what the issue is. She is good with money so am I. People don't have to follow a specific set of rules, it work for some and doesn't for other. She has not paid a bill in the past 15 years. I know exactly how much money she has so does she. As long as you can agree on how you want you finances to be handled do what is good for both of you. Of my my friends is much older and they have separate accounts with his wife and they are worth 50 plus mil. So it does work.

[@MissJ000]

Husband and provider goals 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

[@brockstrong451]

If eachother knows everything, then why not join the accounts?

[@saptab1344]

@@brockstrong451 exactly isnt it easier too

[@agentsmith9851]

@@brockstrong451 Why change something that has been working. We have household account that we are both on and we aslo have separate accounts. She and I both use household account. She likes it this way and I understand why. Lol

[@insure4cheap]

Soup Natzi it works for you guys because you both have similar behaviors when it comes to personal finance. But what happens when your spouse isn’t a “saver” & then decides to start splurging all over the place because you pay all of the bills anyway, you have enough in retirement anyway, I just want to have a little fun so it won’t hurt anyway, so then tell me if your method is still feasible. Fortunately for you, your spouse’s financial behavior favors you, but most American families usually have one spouse who’s a “saver” & the other is the complete opposite. Just a thought 🤷🏾‍♂️✊🏾

[@milkncookie]

Smart man, he's doing em both a favor.

[@molsy1768]

From the comments I guess no one has seen how high the divorce rates are and how much money women are making out of divorce. Separate accounts is a great way to ensure that you dont lose everything along with your spouse

[@FmFpF1992]

Advocating for separate accounts does not always mean live separate lives or have separate goals. My advice is have both joint and individual accounts. Put money in the joint for shared living expenses and goals you have as a couple and hold each other accountable to make sure this is met. The individual accounts can be for whats left over so each of you can retain your own safety net in case the other person sucks with money. Joint accounts allow for "legal robbery". This to me would be ideal to mitigate or eliminate money fights.

[@BrezzyBoi33]

Same calls and questions every day

[@jaye9300]

Yet it’s still entertaining because people keep making poor decisions. As long as there’s lost souls we will need a pastor or someone with Christ in their heart to share. As long as people are still making bad money decisions, we will need Dave.

[@michellerichardson3090]

The question is would she complain if he spent the money in a way she didnt want?

[@eks9225]

She’s been with him 9 years without joining finances. It doesn’t seem like a super urgent thing to solve. I’d take my time with the discussions and give him time to think about it even if it take a year or two. Better for it to take a while than ending up divorced from the fighting

[@CharCharJars]

Hey Anthony!!! Aka AO!!!! Plus thank you all for this😊

[@fourthprince1099]

SEPERATE account for all funds even retirement: then one joint account where automatic transfers go to for mutual expenses.

[@KathleenMcNe]

Some people are simply incapable of understanding the benefits of such an arrangement.

[@KMF3]

I'm a marriage counselor and I wish more couples would get counseling well before the setting of The Wedding Date. Sometimes couples come to me just a couple of months before the wedding and it's crazy.

[@hannahv.6903]

We wanted to do premarital counseling, by the advice of my parenta and grandparents. We never did since I got into a life or death car crash before marrying and have dealt with it for at least a solid year after. We now have realized that we never did it and in fact that the first two years of marriage where you learn and start to grow, never really happened. Always do premarital counseling ❤

[@susannefitzpatrick9955]

I take it, from the way the YETI mug is positioned in the picture, they sponsor the show? Nice product placement.

[@andrea6053]

If there are children from a previous marriage, by all means have separate accounts. You need to ensure your children are cared for, Step parents have no legal responsibility to children.

[@gorkyd7912]

1. Don't marry divorced people who have kids. 2. If you missed that in #1, first of all you're not very smart. Secondly, those are your kids now. Having separate accounts is just giving one person license to not be accountable to the other, it changes nothing.

[@darkforce7387]

This Woman wants to spend ALL THE MONEY!! THAT IS A SMART MAN..

[@clarifyingquestions]

In Dave s family he is the spender and Sharon is the saver. It is not a gender thing.

[@ireneissomewhere]

Ah here come the misogynists again.

[@kazi1]

Irene Goodman Ah here comes the modern fourth wave feminist

[@clarifyingquestions]

@@ireneissomewhere Hahahahahah I think it must be just their sarcasm. Nobody can possible be this ignorant in 2020 especially after listening to Dave s comment about this.

[@clarifyingquestions]

@Tahkeem Hilton_2.0 A happy, loved and rich one. Not a bitter troll:)

[@KathleenMcNe]

So if I were to adopt Dave's philosophy, if I married, I would put my husband on the deeds to my residence, cabin, and rental properties; bank accounts; and brokerage accounts? Absolutely not. Never, ever would I do that. If my prospective husband expected me to do so, I would know to run far away at lightning speed. And I would not want my husband to put my name on his assets. Those would be his -- acquired before and separately from me. Dave lives in a fantasy world where either people never divorce or if they do divorce, it's all rainbows and butterflies.

[@gorkyd7912]

You're not talking about marriage, you're just preparing for a divorce. So obviously don't get married. Don't pretend like you're going to marry someone when what you're talking about is not marriage. If you want to marry someone why would you want to limit that person's access to assets? You like the person but don't trust them with assets? I bet you trust your property manager though.

[@KathleenMcNe]

@@gorkyd7912 Apparently, you are unaware of the high divorce rate in the U.S. You are either very ill-informed or have zero assets.

[@zenal3036]

I think the problem with a joint accounts is that one of the spouses may have a secret plan to divorce and clean out the account leaving the other high and dry.

[@too-da-loo]

We have everything going into 1 account, and then every paycheck we transfer $x into our own personal checking. We agree we can do whatever we want with that money.

[@Sheryl777]

That's one thing a lot of people don't realize yes....Dave's plan includes (within the monthly budget) a line item for each person to have a certain amount of spending money which they've agreed to beforehand...If they are already deeply in debt and/or haven't yet saved enough for their emergency fund that amount may have to be small in the beginning, but can increase as more money is available monthly.

[@scoobie8amg]

This is the stuff you get on the same page about before marriage.

[@Sheryl777]

You know...it just dawned on me that I don't know how Dave Ramsey does the job that he does. With so many people going against his recommendations it must be far more difficult than I had ever imagined lol. It just never occurred to me that so many people don't agree with him and the way he teaches. His teachings have helped my husband and I so much, that I just never thought that it could be such a big problem for others apparently.

[@meekbclearmumin1357]

When I get married I don’t mind if my husband have a separate account. I’m good at handling money and don’t mind keeping my totals to myself. If he need I would be willing to give.

[@ozarked2363]

Having a separate account is not the same thing as separate finances. I have a bank account that is "mine". My wife is still on the account, we own it together. It's just the checkbook that I have possession of and she has a different one when one of us needs to write a check.

[@D-FIANT415]

I'll marry you😁

[@GottuboiBeachVolleyball]

When one of the couples has a mistrust (in this case combining money) then it’s gonna end up in divorce. Clearly he never trusted her since day 1 of marriage. Marriage is the union of everything from babies to finances. Selecting your mate takes a lot of time and build trust.

[@elizabethtimothy4776]

ABSOLUTELY! Yet most people treat it trivially like going grocery shopping. The choice of partner is the biggest decision anyone can make.

[@thatdude5328]

It goes on and on and on.

[@darbyohara]

I will distill this down based on the sound of the callers voice She is broke, has issues handling money Husband makes more money, is scared of wife spending all the money Translation: wife “I’m broke lemme spend some of the money you earned”

[@deniseneuendorf3577]

Life is simpler for the cheater/addict with separate accounts

[@darklordbobSmoke]

Also keeps her from spending all the money on shoes

[@ellegolan3992]

A cheater/addict has a separate account regardless but probably wouldn't tell her about it 😂

[@darklordbobSmoke]

I'm not a cheater or an addict. I just refuse to mix money.

[@codys7928]

Sounds like a one sided story... sounds like she didn't really talk about it with her husband and just wants the "well DR said we should have combined accounts" argument, however marriage means shared every thing... he probably has a lot better financial situation than her and wants to keep it that way... little does he know when you put a ring on it.. :)

[@ireneissomewhere]

I love how you made all those assumptions.

[@codys5727]

I think you're right Cody. Her responss sounds like she doesn't talk to him about finances and he's done most of the hsrd pulling for the past 9 years. Likely he didn't want married and she probably thought a ring would fix it all

[@codys7928]

Irene Goodman you have no choice but to, i can’t just take her side of the story as all of the relative information.

[@melissa5844]

you can have a joint account to pay bills and have your Separate account for you personally spend. we as woman have to have a security Blanket just in case a marriage goes south. my mom always told me mija you need to save money if you have to get divorced or he dies.

[@AbidingHopeMentalHealthCoach]

*Picks up mouth off floor* Dave said “Great” instead of “Better than I/we deserve”!!!!!

[@MrHyperBonez]

Both my fiance and I want to keep our finances in our own accounts. It's just easier. We honestly don't understand the big deal. Maybe it's because we aren't religious? I don't know. I just know that any time we buy things together or pay bills, we go half and half, sending money to each other. I think people are making a big deal out of this for nothing.

[@AtotheZ7]

I like what a friend of mine told my wife and me do when we first made our budget: have 50 or 100 dollars where we can each spend on whatever we want. It is in the budget where I can spend $50 on candy if I wanted or save it and she can spend that on clothes, no questions asked.

[@elizabethtimothy4776]

Of course that is a must like your rent, food. I personally believe in combining income, then have a personal savings account where that "fun" money goes and one can use it for whatever without interference from spouse. The problem is people just don't talk/ agree on things before marriage.

[@Hellokitty7163]

I love AO s and Dave s chemistry

[@YanilMiami305]

I'm married and we have a joint account that we use to pay for bills. And we also have our own accounts to buy whatever we want. He probably doesn't want to pay for her student loans or his grandparents are going to leave him some money

[@adoe2305]

First time he's great and deserves it.

[@BellambiFredRoberts]

I completely agree with Dave.

[@stinayee]

The only problem I have with her situation is that her husband changed his mind right before getting married. My husband and I have separate bank accounts because we started off at different stages in our financial lives. Our compromise is that we check in with each other before making major purchases. It also makes going out for food extra special because we treat each other out.

[@BboyMobster]

What people allow and get themselves into marriage wise blows my mind. Anyone trying to do something separately in or before marriage would never fly in my life.