I'm Arguing with Spouse About Budgeting!

[@Je.rone_]

I heard a quote "discipline is choosing what you want most over what you want now," this is kind of the point of budgeting and/or orherwise wise financial management

[@JohnDoe-gc1kt]

It all boils down to discipline

[@Je.rone_]

@@JohnDoe-gc1kt yup

[@Irene-gq4jr]

I am trying to get this through to my fiancé, the love of my life, right now. Neither of us is in a financial hole, but we need to plan and be disciplined if we want to have the future we desire.

[@joshuasir_prodijay4540]

It never ceases to amaze me how many people get married without ever checking that the person they are with has the same financial mindset as them and wants to budget like them. Do not wait until you are married to talk about things like this.

[@AlliNW0nderland.]

YES!!!

[@karisume568]

Some people talk about this stuff and there’s an agreement but the spouse then changes their tune…. It’s sucks and for sure then you have to look at a persons ability to be trustworthy as well

[@fontane007]

Doesnt help if you don’t realise about all this when you’re already married though does it.

[@richprokop5155]

FIND ANOTHER WIFE... PROBLEM SOLVED...

[@TheOpethOfMastodon]

​@@richprokop5155I'll do you one better..don't get married.

[@CaseyBurnsInvesting]

Budgeting is a deeply philosophical thing about what you want to do and have in life. So important to be on the same page.

[@saelaird]

You're totally right, 100%. Massively important that partners agree on money issues and budgeting.

[@SherryEllesson]

Dave's revelation here is important across all aspects of relationships: trust, once broken, is extremely slow to rebuild and even once that's in place, there is never the breach forgotten.

[@garrettstevensen2467]

I'm not 100% certain on the "there is never the breach forgotten." For instance, a man (or woman) could have make errors PRIOR to marriage to the other person, and after decades and decades of good faithful marriage after, in my opinion and beliefs, things can and should be forgiven and forgotten by the other spouse. Maybe you are right, and mistakes/trust is never fixed, and that's likely why more than 50% of marriages end in divorce, at least here in California.

[@0num4]

I got my wife on board with the FPU plan by appealing to our sense of teamwork. It's not always been easy, but nothing worthwhile is easy. We're now into BS3, building that emergency fund, on our way to a strong, free financial future. Discipline Equals Freedom.

[@1.5Koreans0.5American]

It’s important to have similar views on money between partners.

[@adityasahani4321]

Or you can avoid marriage all together

[@MarksTournaments]

Aditya Sahani no, if you’re going to get married you need specific things in order.

[@adityasahani4321]

​@@MarksTournaments Or you can avoid marriage all together

[@Cecibug1]

My husband has agreed to budget once he decided hes sick of apartment life. I told him we can get a down payment saved up fast if we budget

[@topcomment3816]

☝🏻Fun Fact: Dave didn’t choose the debt-free life. The debt-free life chose him (The banks would not lend to him anymore). 😆

[@texast2595]

False. Banks are a lot more willing to lend to someone that's filed bankruptcy then someone who hasn't. Why? Because you can't file bankruptcy again, so they're gonna get there money this time.

[@jemeshawoods6577]

@@texast2595 not true you can file bankruptcy multiple times

[@joshlowery4739]

@@texast2595 yeah that’s not true at all haha

[@topcomment3816]

@Cole Apollo F u spammers

[@tiffanywebbstoney9182]

Either way, the fun fact still opened him up to the thinking that saved his and many ppl's lives so.....that's cool

[@ktsterlin9304]

I literally don’t understand how someone does not want to budget... especially if you’ve been bad with money in the past. What do people think budgeting is?

[@scarpfish]

Budgeting means having to tell yourself no sometimes. Folks with consumeristic "do what feels good" lifestyles don't like that.

[@roelf8044]

For us, all spending is intentional, but not budgeted. I would be anxious about having a budget, because it feels like I'm restricting myself that way.

[@rayj.9568]

I had a relative tell me that she didn't make enough money to budget. She was retired with a modest pension and social security. Some people seem to want to "put their heads in the sand."

[@aolvaar8792]

I graduated college over 40 + years ago, never budgeted Have always made more than I could spend. Lived way inside of my means. Never counted on my bonus, Surprise, $30K I am retired now, my checking grows at $1k/mo. When it gets too big, I spend it.

[@kellyegeline9823]

“Budget” gave my son anxiety. When I helped him we called it his “Spending Celebration” LOL

[@bamafencer12]

Before getting engaged it is so important to get on the same page about financial stuff or it could be a disaster.

[@AlliNW0nderland.]

YES!!!

[@pennylane3378]

I'm hearing that he doesn't ever want to get to this place again and she's seeing a light at the end of the "strapped for cash" tunnel. She doesn't want to think about being careful with money anymore. I'm not sure how they ended up in bankruptcy but it's not necessarily all his fault...she might have played a huge role in it. If talking with her about being good with money starts a fight she's got issues with money. This is a huge problem, if he can't talk to her about budgeting for their future, they will end up right back where they are now in under 10 years.

[@ChachiTelevision1979]

One of the best decisions my wife and I made in preparing for marriage was to expose all of our financial situations to one another, talk about a plan on how to achieve our goals, and keep it all separate until we get married (then merge it all afterwards).

[@jmc8076]

Been there w/my husb on this just like Dave and his wife. Totally agree. It’s natural to rather be invited to change (choice/control) vs having it forced on us (no choice/control). Helped us to agree we both had right and freedom to say I’m overwhelmed or need to stop and review. Doesn’t mean throwing out a plan just maybe a tweak so both are same page. It’s a journey. Figure out what each does best and space to be human and flawed (wow can I be both). I’m sorry w/o buts and laughter. Focus on now not analyzing the past. I wish them love. It won’t be easy but they’ll make it. (Live. Love. Laugh...repeat cause life’s short 😉)

[@littleripper312]

Part of getting married should involve a worksheet you both go through and fill out with questions about finances, family, religion, children etc.

[@anni3274]

Wow this felt like pulling teeth. Get to your question already.

[@markwhittaker6866]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@purplepauline]

Some people are like this drives me mad

[@jutde]

@@purplepauline I wish Dave would get more "Is there a question coming, or not?"

[@alvindarwin5627]

I know!!! Get it out!!!! Sheesh.

[@kurtk.6751]

I was burned in my marriage. I'm a Christian and am sadly doubting the idea of marriage. I know I'm jaded, but the only person you can trust in this life is God and yourself.

[@f.-j.j.5738]

I wonder what kind of prep people get before getting married honestly. Maybe it's because people view the dating period as a time to have fun and be romantic only when it should be that but also getting to know the person you're with. I do the romantic stuff but we also have had financial meetings and goals setting meeting and check in about the goals every three months. We are planners and like that about each other.

[@bigmike11559]

I love how they didn't follow there standard practice of hammering him to get on the steps etc. Immediately recognizing this is financial trauma and shifting to focusing on building trust was spot on

[@sweetesthoneybee]

Husband sounds so uncertain. I wouldn’t want to listen to his “schemes” too. Wife probably got burned one too many times by his ideas.

[@madarchermoto4955]

Or she’s a spoiled brat that doesn’t like being told “no”. That could be what it is as well.

[@sweetesthoneybee]

D W did you listen to what he’s saying and how he is saying it? He said they were behind 1 yr on their chapter 13 payment. 1yr!?!?! How is that even possible if he was on it? If she was the brat, how did he not know they were behind 1 year?

[@jaredfrazier2216]

Ahaha blindly take her side. Classic

[@KC-dr3cg]

Wonderful that Dr. D and Dave understand that shes weary. Maybe after their bankruptcy is discharged he can gently talk about Dave Ramsey.

[@MONTOD]

You have to strive to challenge your partner to see the vision. THAT'S HARD AND TAKES TIME! It's hard to not micromanage but let them see/experience what could and couldn't happen

[@DavidGeorgiaPersonalFinance]

Budget is more than just crunching numbers, it's a mindset and philosophical change that states we are going to be dramatically different from now on.

[@dustinwiggin9470]

We fight about money all the time, its all about blame game of you spend so I spend..no matter if I try to lock it down and we are going to spend less. Showing $80 at coffee shops, random purchases, amazon, being swipe happy. Then I am seen at trying to be her "boss" so I eventually give up. Buying makes her happy, so trying to take away that as happy feeling to savings being that happy feeling.

[@deanalbertson7203]

I agree with Dave, you have to do it together.

[@silvalineenyuh2267]

This is the problem I have, can never get him to take it serious at all.. 🙄

[@emmarose6590]

I’d be interested to see his budget.

[@amydoran9987]

The time to talk about these things is before, you get married.

[@gessrinky9129]

Ta ta ta today junior!!!

[@exxology1]

I’d like to hear her side of the story!!

[@oulibemusic1257]

It is the credit cards. First of month pay all your bills, save some to another account, pull the rest out in cash and this is what you have to spent. Period.

[@The.Man.WithAPlan]

Oh honey sign this it's just a prenup.

[@JDMcHaley]

You picked the wrong spouse. That’s where you went wrong. There’re too many ladies out there to settle.

[@arthrodea]

How do you know this debt is the wife’s fault? It sounded the the husband had consistently messed up to the point they’re in bankruptcy- so naturally the wife is a little distrustful of him

[@vintageswiss9096]

Divorce is cheaper than bad habits.

[@brandiphillips5775]

My husband refuses to follow a budget and I'm a SAHM. I'm going back to college to get a high paying job so that I can sink all that money in retirement and financial security. Sometimes, your spouse refuses and you can't force someone.

[@hiteshadhikari]

*Rethink your plan* *And i mean marraige life plans*

[@TheTbabylati]

Their problem is definitely getting on the same page with finances. They need to seek counseling on why that’s a problem area in their marriage.

[@rayj.9568]

Hopefully Dave invited him to Financial Peace University. His and John's counsel was solid. The man needs an advocate. His wife may listen to a provened strategy.

[@ir10031981]

I get so frustrated with people who deliberately go into debt and don't care about getting on a budget and living on it that I just want to pick up something and throw it, I am fiscally conservative, aka cheap, I've driven the same car for over 13 years because I refuse to go into massive debt for a new vehicle that's just gonna plummet in value over time. My parents bought a new car in 2000, that $24,000 (Buick Century) that they bought new got sold for no more than a thousand bucks in 2016. $24,000 then, $1,000 now, imagine that. If I were to buy a 20 year old car, then sell it, I'd probably have to spend $1,500 and be lucky if I get $1,000 for it upon selling it.

[@handleyobusiness]

At that time, your parents paid a for a brand-new car with zero problems internally and zero miles on the odometer. For $1500, you're buying something that's below average and will likely quit on you. Reliability comes at a price. I understand being cheap, but don't be so cheap that you sacrifice quality for value.

[@ThinkMoneyBenny]

That’s called “ Normal “ 😐

[@jelanifrance6626]

The way they end calls is so weird

[@ThePatriots010304]

Men who understand women don’t argue with them.

[@NeoAndersonReloaded]

Does dave ever talk about how he came back from the bankruptcy?

[@NeoAndersonReloaded]

@C B nice!

[@dank.2536]

@C B Has he talked about how much commission he gets from those mutual funds he sells?

[@sheritawells-silas5624]

Yes. I have actually heard the full story a long time ago when 1st introduced to FPU I think he should TALK ABOUT AGAIN I heard it about 20 years ago long time ago

[@alwayswinning3743]

After hearing this and being a single guy In Aus ... I use to think the only goals I want In a woman Is ... No kids and non smoker ... That's all I want In a woman, but now being debt free Is my 3rd option look out dating apps LOL

[@TheOpethOfMastodon]

I advise either casual dating, or just pay for sex. Particularly the latter. Relationships are overrated, and marriage holds way too much risk for us western men. Take it from a married man, DON'T GET MARRIED.

[@BLacknesmonstaz]

Oh God please stop using this guest, i wish him the best in his practice. I'll just stop clicking the vids with him in it.

[@jasontrautsch2373]

Recommend the Dave Ramsey shows and ask for feedback on what she thinks about it; otherwise, she will decline the idea just because it wasn't her idea. The, "noones going tell me what to do" mindset will override mathematics and logic.

[@leonoremoore1159]

you better start the budgeting before you get married

[@cato451]

I’ve never asked another human beings permission to live within my means. I never will.

[@alwayswinning3743]

Man some people sound dead Inside

[@marcossalazar5438]

I like the good things in life. She wants to save save save

[@jesusbowls]

Dr. John seems like a very nice and intelligent guy. However, I haven't seen a single clip yet where he adds anything useful to the segment. What is Dave trying to accomplish by having him on the show so often?

[@Undead_Essence]

Dave is logical and tells them what to do, Dr. John talks about the emotional needs and adds in advice so that they emotionally can get on board with Dave’s plan for them.

[@lewisr7700]

I have no idea. I find him incredibly annoying and not helpful at all.

[@allisonwelch5507]

Sometimes in life you need others around you to bring the best out in you. I often feel Dave bounces off what he says and they bring the best out in each other.

[@FightForTruthMedia]

DAVE IS THE ABSOLUTE MAN! He inspired me to create my own Christian KZbin Channel to refute the lies of cultural Christianity! Check it out!

[@WildL23]

I want to listen to Dave. Who's that boring dude?

[@adamoertel5587]

Hello

[@HaroldReece]

I think Dave is missing the point, this couple will be debt free at the end of the chapter 13. They should be encouraged to complete the bankruptcy they have already paid into it for over three years. Now is the time to work on budgeting. They cannot incur any debt during the chapter 13.

[@旮旯北京]

I am single and ready for the August? 🤔

[@djpuplex]

These two white knights can't be honest and tell him to man up and put his foot down tell your f-ing wife to stop spending. I love watching Dave lose it when the caller takes forever getting to the point 😆 pure gold.

[@blackworldtraveler3711]

They are married. She has the government and courts on her side if he tried that.

[@dank.2536]

They're emerging from a bankruptcy. He probably doesn't have much assets for her to clean out.

[@chemquests]

He never said she has a spending problem; for all you know it’s his fault they’re in bankruptcy

[@miketheyunggod2534]

Thanks to this show, this guy has an unhappy marriage.

[@saelaird]

This is the same issue time and again. A woman who wants to spend, and a man who wants to be frugal and sensible. Lets just be honest and not waste time. It is occasionally (but rarely) the other way around. My advice... If she won't agree to even discuss budgeting then she's a problem... divorce and start fresh.

[@emmarose6590]

Dude you just don’t commit for life then divorce because you have different ideas of budgeting lol. geez.

[@TheOpethOfMastodon]

​@@emmarose6590Yes you do. Your income is an extension of yourself and the effort you put in. Disrespect towards that is disrespect towards you. Plus, life is too short to stay committed to someone who doesn't reciprocate in equal measure.

[@ViaMirage]

Curious, is anyone else annoyed by John? 😄 I feel he overdoes it.

[@jphickory522]

Yes

[@StephJ0seph]

PhD in D.U.M.B

[@The.Man.WithAPlan]

Dual

[@loganwisnieski4913]

So im on baby step 6 im 22 years old no children, no debt, no wife/girlfriend, and the military provides me a place to live. I personally belive marraige and children are the biggest drain on someones bank account and is far worse than any loan you can get. So im goimg to for go women and children and marraige until i make 6 figures or possible not going to do it ever. I can buy a car in cash, i can buy a boat in cash, but i can never buy a child and can never buy women in cash. As for this guy my belief is if they dodecide to work together they will be better off than me, but from the sound of it they are better off splitting and go for bankruptcy but what do i know im only 22

[@braylenrochell]

Man you are super blessed. Stay focused

[@TedisBookNook]

Children do add extra expenses for atleast 18 years/child, but it’s still possible to be debt free with them. I’m 22 as well with my own family and we only have $5k left of my student loans for debt. Of course if you’re worried about the financial aspect of having a family you can do everything on your own time with your own limits (;

[@adamchavez999]

First thing she needs is to find a real man!!!!! To take charge!!!!

[@jimroscovius]

Slow talkers are so annoying!!

[@Christfollower89]

I immediately went to the comment section to see if I was the only one. It seemed like Dave was sitting there ready to snap.😆 I always love it when he says: "So what is your question" and they continue to ramble.

[@danielcamacho8611]

😭

[@brroookkeee]

Talk to his wife about “getting” a budget? I can’t imagine a life WITHOUT a budget. Like, there’s people out there who actually don’t budget? I feel like in order not to budget, you’d have to make enough to not have your account get down to where you’re worried about bouncing! Every single dollar of our income goes somewhere whether it’s bills or savings!

[@JME_798]

Tell her to take a hike and she’ll probably meet budget there and bring him back home

[@murderouskitten2577]

short version - either she agrees or get a better wife

[@jleung85]

Wow this guy is laggy

[@ShakespeareCafe]

They deserve each other What kind of fool would go on a nationwide show to talk about his wife? This one

[@69TDUB]

How long until hyperinflation? Weeks? Months? Physical Silver is wealth insurance.

[@blackworldtraveler3711]

If you never spent time in Venezuela you will never realize how silly your post is.

[@69TDUB]

@@blackworldtraveler3711 Venezuela Zimbabwe & others are proof of my statement but now I realize how clueless you are.

[@kk-hp6ve]

Was dave a scammer?

[@diannathornton2911]

Lol no he wasn't a scammer. He just couldn't manage money so his wife didn't trust home to fix the mess. In her mind at that time he sure was a scammer. Lol.

[@anthonykence9954]

Dave argues with his wife on to wear a toupee or not.

[@blackworldtraveler3711]

When you live in a big mansion you can get too tired just trying to find each other to argue and stay married long time.

[@69TDUB]

Physical Silver is a safe haven asset that isn't simultaneously someone elses liability.

[@kw-vy5jd]

He sounds like a wussy...what do u expect?????

[@jphickory522]

This show has too much psychological babble now.

[@danielcamacho8611]

True but that’s messed up lol he’s a smart man but a little soft 😔😎

[@69TDUB]

Physical Silver is wealth insurance with No Counter Party Risk.

[@blackworldtraveler3711]

You will have risks once people know.