MY THOUGHTS ON THE INTJ PERSONALITY AS AN INFJ (Are they close-minded? What do they care about?)

[@brittanypage1706]

INTJ female here. I've been a stoic for about 8 years now. I did a PhS in Philosophy and Logic. The biggest reason I personally don't care about the opinions of others is really like Seneca says, people either speak truth or nonsense. If it's true, you shouldn't be offended since it's true. If it's nonsense, why be offended by nonsense? You wouldn't let people physically assault you, so why would you let people emotionally insult you? When you let people affect you and trigger your emotions you're giving up control over yourself and letting the person control you. Philosophy has made me incredibly in tune with my emotions and very quickly came to realize everytime you feel hurt it's because you've set an expectation. We stoics don't like to set expectations, if you have no expectations you don't get hurt. I have no right to force people to bend to my expectations. I hold no expectations, no one owes me anything. I only have control over myself, I'm immovable because I live my life for myself. I don't consent to people controlling me, that's why I choose who can influence me. Neurosis is a fault, pride is ineffective, so if I want to achieve my goals I need to be able to trust myself enough to hold my own ground while exploring others. There's a Philosopher named Martin Buber who said more emotional people don't trust themselves enough to maintain their position while exploring others. When you learn to trust yourself you don't offended. I work as a Philosophical Counselor and my clients are lawyers and doctors. I have tons of clients who tend to be emotions, which is great in certain situations, but self trust and expectations is the route to all hurt and offense. If you rod yourself from it you'll live a very peaceful life.

[@ToriH]

U raised some gd pts and the stoic philosophy rly fits intjs. Also I totally agree w that Martin Buber quote.

[@hdgaiqnwknz6032]

INTJ male - Nihilist/ stoic and is also pursuing a PhD in Philosophy. Is this a coincidence? I think the fuck not.

[@plebibuds6091]

On INTJ changing opinions - We do fight for our opinions. It's happening while we're having the discussion with you. It may be one of the reasons we come off as intimidating - We're fighting for our opinion, and yours - We want the opinion that works "best" and we'll tear both sides of the conversation down to get to it.

[@ToriH]

Yeah it is for the best ideas not for your own idea necessarily

[@mamu7976]

Great video! You really know how INTJs operate. INTJs are awesome (I am a biased INTJ- haha). Fi (introverted feeling) is very private and INTJs rarely talk about their feelings, even to their friends. Relationships are kept at a distance as extraverted thinking is looking to effectively and quickly carry out the career plan (Introverted intuition vision). Although, if a friend is in trouble, introverted feeling will suddenly be taking control of decisions, not extraverted thinking. The heart will rule the head and INTJs will be available for their friends, because they do care. Although to see that side, you will need to know the INTJ on a deep level, or have the ability to see behind the serious mask, that INTJs wear.

[@ToriH]

Thanks! Yes, I tend to see a lot of good in intjs becos once they're ur friends they can be very generous and caring in their own way. Towards their SO too. Sometimes more generous than me lol.

[@user-xk9cr3mu3k]

Fi for the intjs is actually quite developed since it's their child function which develops right after their hero Ni. However, Fi is not about showing itself to other people anyways since it's internal. Also Fi in the child function slot causes almost all intj to have "the god complex" where they're overally showing off when it comes to their Te achevements which is perceived as arogant and inables the intj to humble themselves compared to others.

[@AmMalik-yo7tw]

NF's seem to understand INTJ's more than anyone. It's almost creepy !

[@ToriH]

haha i think intjs understand each other well too

[@Nicole-jm4wb]

INTJ here, when we decided to "care" about certain people, we care hard. In reality, we understand emotional nuisances and we DO understand your actions. Problem is, we just can't accept or comprehend why are you doing that when in our heads, there's this a more "efficient" or "effective" way to get your point across. In my experience, this dilemma although I know that it's more of the other person's internal struggle and not really a reflection of us, it's insulting. Yes, self-doubt can be a challenge especially in things and tasks that require "technical" or a concrete basis.

[@ToriH]

I realize that's common for TJ types to care hard or not at all.

[@liyaxin9144]

Wow, I am very impressed by your knowledge of the INTJ type. it is rare for me to get a feeling that anyone can understand you this much. and I am flattered. I took notes on your video in order to write this comment as an appreciation. First point, The 'special power' you mentioned in the video of an intj comes from their intrinsic value to being authentic to themselves no matter what As well as their independence cultivated. Intjs are regarded as the most independent amount of all types. it is true. Authenticity keeps an intj grounded and always being aware of what is meaningful to themselves rather than what other people think is important. Honesty is essential to a person to realize their flaws and constantly improving themselves. it takes hard work not to care about other people's opinions, but it is totally worth it. And yes society downplays INTJS especially a society in which there are tons of extroverted feeling users and only 2 percent INTJS. they care about the collectives more than anything including themselves while INTJS only cares about true facts and reasons which can be harsh to those people sometimes and not in harmony with the rest of the world. This is why a lot of times INTJS are seen as intimating. there are also a lot of villain types of characters in movies that are INTJS because they are often achieving their goals by any means which can hurt other people. But on the bright side. having the integrity of your own thoughts and character can make you very independent and not easily drowning in other's people's voices. and with their introverted intuitions, it often makes them inspirational leaders. it is only until I was in college that I realize why a lot of kids respect me and listen to what I say when I was in middle school. it all happened unconsciously. being able to not care about other people's opinions and hold on to your own sets of values is not that easy. but in a way, I didn't see any other choice for me out there except embracing my authentic self. it is miserable to care too much what other people think of you. This is one of the reason why INTJS are often being seen as a textbook masculine type male. their ability to disregard what other people think of them makes them a lot easier to get what they want from life without too many noises in their heads. it makes us very disagreeable and competitive people. we often approach the world as a place to compete. we see people as competitors rather than friendly. We like winning. This is why We are always focused and alert. However, it is not like INTJS completely ignore other people's opinions. we do like constructive feedback and like to hear what others have to offer. it is just that we are often misunderstood and most of the people around us don't get us. if they don't know well, it is hard for them to give you valuable opinions on you. in addition, I realize that other people sometimes use their opinions on you only to benefit themselves. their opinions serve their world of views well but not ours. Second point, Yes, We do have a sensitive side of which is very much contrast to our seemingly blunt stubborn and insensitive image of us. But only to the closest ones, like my mom and my uncle. Because when it really comes to our closest ones we have this childlike 10 years old tertiary introverted feeling function. it is an underdeveloped cognitive function. when we use it we often put ourselves in a vulnerable place and trust the other person too much which can lead to hurt feelings. it is a little hard for an intj to reconcile feelings. I remember I used to trust my uncle on a lot of things and opinions about life. I took his advice without going through too much in my mind. but it often ended up conflicting with what I think or feel. At the end of the day. I know he wants the best for me. but the truth is He doesn't know me that well. He doesn't know what is best for me. Extroverted Thinking and introverted feeling are both judging functions. When an intj is younger, their extroverted thinking are not well developed. they approach the world with their feeling function. When they are misunderstood or hurt as a child. they resort to using their 10 years olf introverted feeling function which does not have the best judgment. they can easily get hurt in friendship and relationships. third point, Yes, we often like to think and debate. that is why we can accumulate our thoughts in ways that can create an impact. I think it has someting to do with our dominating and competitive nature. but it can also scare people off. we don't have friends that are too sensitive around us.I used to have, but the more I become who I am, the less those people are around. I remember one time when I debate with a girl I met in class about whether our professor is good or not. I realized that I made her a little uncomfortable. and after that she never talked to me anymore. We are disagreeable in nature, but we give in to truth and facts. When you say something that is true and legit. We would agree without hesitance. we are not like those feeling types that they can never agree with you on something even you are actually right and they are wrong because of facing-saving. Yes, Failure is pretty hard and unacceptable for INTJS . if they are determined to win or get something. they are very driven and focused and they can use any means to get their goals achieved. But accepting failure is just something that we have to work on and learn from. Last point, Yes, we are some most driven and focused people out there. when we are determined to achieve something that is important. everything has to take a backseat. I used to fear a lot that I would lose friends because I don't have enough time to maintain our friendship. But I learned to cope with that. When it comes to friendship and relationship. we do care a lot. But it is just we don't express our feeling as much as those feelers out there. if we really decide to care about someone who is meaningful to us. it can be pretty impressive to see how much we can do for that person. As a quote from Andy Dufresne who I believe is an INTJ in the movie Shawshank Redemption ' She was beautiful, God I loved her. I just didn't know how to show it, that's all.' I just became a fan of your videos. keep making them!

[@ToriH]

Thanks for the v insightful reply. Yes, intjs are open to constructive feedback. Also love the quote from the film.👌

[@anonygent]

Understatement of the video: INTJ's don't like to fail.

[@ToriH]

Facts

[@andreagreenwood93]

Very insightful video! It's nice to see an INFJ who gets INTJs so well. I've seen some dismiss us as cold. We're just not as emotionally expressive, and we're more skilled at cognitive understanding than warm fuzzies. I value my friends deeply though, more than material goods. You're right I get much more easily annoyed than hurt at being misunderstood (and many other things), and am very selective about who's opinion actually matters to me. I have not been burned by overvaluing relationships but I will say, I definitely always kept people at arm's length if they gave me the impression of being easy come easy go. I still like people like that but I instinctively knew they could disappoint me because people are unique and irreplaceable to me and I'll only invest in someone who seems like they have that same philosophy. Definitely LOVE to discuss opposing viewpoints- I feel like that's how I'll learn things... Even if I don't change mind I'll at least learn how other people think... I get very frustrated when people deflect questions or try to change subjects or just get upset that we disagree- I see how that could seem aggressive but I just really want a person to make me understand them! 🙂 You're right that I do let go of opinions probably quicker than many people- unless it involves changing a core value then no (and not easily swayed to change what how feel with emotional propaganda), but many times I'm a sucker for a compelling rational argument about what would make things better. I need a good amount of info but not necessarily a lot of time to adjust. In the fear of failure, can't speak for every INTJ but I am absolutely appalled by the idea of putting time and energy into something that may be a waste and not pay off.

[@ToriH]

Yup I like how u guys are so into discussions and appear intimidating but are actually more open-minded than some types. Lol.

[@aubreys1675]

Wait other students thought me asking questions in class was annoying 😂😂 i had never considered that asking questions would ever be seen as something other than helpful. I was doing everyone a favor by getting more information to learn!!!

[@ToriH]

Yeah and intjs have great qns!!

[@ericyeow3443]

Yes be authentic & others will also be authentic to us , it’s like a cause-&-effect ripple 👌🏻

[@eona0002]

You know me more than i know my self lol

[@ToriH]

HAHA im such a typical infj

[@paulhendrickson8596]

I truly enjoy my insurmountable independence, the ultimate in personal freedom.

[@angelee9350]

Wow, everything was on point it's almost scary •_•

[@ToriH]

glad to hear that HAHA

[@ToriH]

How are ur experiences with INTJs? State ur type (if you know!) LIKE & SUBSCRIBE if u enjoyed this vid ♥️ Hit the notification bell for updates! *The next vid will be on intps and the differences between them & intjs.*

[@fizzlepop9451]

INTJ checking in.. yes, couldn't care less what others think about me (but I do believe there is a limit, if core values are threatened). I'm very high on introversion which is often misunderstood for ignorance when it is fact a form of shyness.

[@ToriH]

Oh for sure, INTJs are like the opposite of ignorance lol.

[@ericyeow3443]

Sometimes being sensitive is one thing while being too sensitive that can lean towards to paranoid so being rational yet emotional in a fine balance will be good rather than both ends on one side 👌🏻

[@alastairpaisley6668]

Good analysis. "Fe" is the weakest function in INTJs because it is their trickster function (each personality has a trickster or blind-spot function). This is why INTJs don't appear to be particularly concerned with group validation. This is also why INTJs hate small talk and are so socially inept.

[@ToriH]

thank you for your input

[@ericyeow3443]

Yup Convince them with the right reasons that make sense and are critically right 👌🏻

[@kyriahowey3322]

Intj female: You literally have my eyes tearing up. I love deeply, and the misunderstandings around that topic have caused so much pain in my life. Thank you for seeing us. ❤. To me it means a lot

[@ToriH]

Thank you 😊🙏 I'm glad it made a difference.

[@ToriH]

For your own interest, here are two articles I find very useful for INFJ and INTJ personal growth & awareness: ca157.isrefer.com/go/INFJarticle/Yimin1995/ ca157.isrefer.com/go/intjpersonality/Yimin1995/

[@ericyeow3443]

Sometimes trying to see other people opinion whether right to us a not can bring us a wider perspective just like in a philosophical way 👌🏻

[@aubreys1675]

The way you talk about our opinions is great. I think we can come across as stubborn because people don’t see all the thought we’ve put into coming to a conclusion. We’re not stubborn, we’re sure. And infjs know how our processing and resolution works, and understand that given new information that challenges our beliefs and opinions, we will adjust to have a more holistic view

[@rseifer7863]

Great content, you deserve more subscribers ❤️

[@ToriH]

Oh thank you :D

[@ericyeow3443]

We need to be emotionally involved at times so to get in tune to our intuition and insight & being highly rationally and logically can help cos it makes the person be more emotionally intelligent so to make better more sensible decision despite being emotional 👌🏻

[@ericyeow3443]

Can say INFJ has their own way of living and thinking whether society can accept it a not because they know what they are doing for the right reasons 👌🏻

[@ericyeow3443]

Infj people who scare of failure may have perfectionist traits but this can also be a plus point to look at a way critically but then failing is just part of the process of being more perfect cos without experience , we wouldn’t know how to be more perfect 👌🏻

[@ericyeow3443]

Intj one is implying not INFJ

[@ericyeow3443]

Most important is being true to ourself won’t cause any negative effect to others whether is morally or verbally but sometimes we need also be compassionate & understanding to others despite wanting to be ourself cos being too practical and rationality to the extreme might not be that good in the end because one day others can also treat us like that too if we failed to the norm standard 👌🏻

[@dietpiediaries6287]

Am INTJ. What people think doesn’t matter because they see only the outside. On the inside we know ourselves and know that what happens to us can’t be understood by anyone else who isn’t going through the same combinations of experiences. So why would others opinion matters? They have insufficient data on us.

[@sacmakiz]

incredible insights, and you know it! fellow infj

[@ToriH]

Yay thanks

[@leslie9826]

Description is so on point. Great video.

[@ToriH]

Glad you enjoyed it :D

[@yolanda.martinez]

Wow, you helped me learn something about myself. Thank you.

[@ToriH]

Glad I could help!

[@joshuam8146]

There's no need to be nervous. When an intj judges others it's an opportunity for self-reflection and we judge ourselves. We are smart enough to know how dumb we are.

[@yolanda.martinez]

As an INTJ people see me as quiet but also extremely opinionated. In work situations, I can easily see what is unfair, what is inefficient, and what would be better, but I am rarely in the position to be a boss nor do I desire to rule over people. So when I tell my coworkers and supervisors exactly what the hell I think about what is going on on the job, sometimes this goes over well but sometimes it ruffles feathers, even when I am right. I have a hard time tempering what I say when am am right but my message is harsh.

[@ToriH]

Yeah intjs do not crave to necessarily be in position of power for power's sake unlike ExTJs. The focus is more on making a difference with their strategies and visions.

[@serveyou2454]

Hi it’s not about being confident it’s about being convinced logically

[@ToriH]

Yup, think i mentioned that in the vid.

[@intpfreaksrana94]

How you know that all its so to the point🌝🌝

[@ToriH]

By interacting w many INTJs irl haha, nice moon emojis

[@ToriH]

Latest exclusive post on developing Se is up on Patreon: www.patreon.com/posts/get-better-at-se-37103948

[@arcadianfox8127]

"Nothing ventured, nothing gained" No, if you did not venture, then you can spend the time on something else.

[@ToriH]

I'm referring to nothing gained in the area u didn't venture lol

[@lynn6799]

As an INTJ, I can confirm that unless you have hard evidence and an argument that's based on rational, reality based arguments, not bs 'feelings, beliefs, opinions', you already lost your claims. If your argument relies on lies and manipulation, you've lost. Lunacy and ridiculous flaky claims are not going to do anything but embarass you. And most things have to be presented based on actual, real science (not bought, paid for and maniplulated lunacy), rational thought, common sense (not as common as it should be)..... I'm well past caring about the opinions of sheep who can't grasp reality.... and most are triggered by real world facts that destroy their claims.

[@Recuper8]

Thanks

[@ToriH]

Welcome

[@Drsleeper]

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

[@ToriH]

Thanks for the support. :D

[@ToriH]

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