My Thread On Reddit To Tell My Husband We're Getting DIVORCED r/Relationships

[@ToxicSunrise132]

Story 1: I'm slightly disappointed that OP's husband didn't make an AITA to try and get his side of the story out there, it would have been a glorious dumpster fire...

[@DragonicGamer32]

Probably because he knew he probably wouldn't get any support other than a handful of other people.

[@ugojlachapelle]

@@DragonicGamer32 Indeed, he'd only get the support of the momma's boyz.

[@Ecclectic_citcelccE]

🍿🍿🍿

[@michellekeith5602]

I would have commented if he had POPCORN PEANUTS THE MONKEY WANTS TO EXPLAIN HIS CIRCUS 🤣

[@HeyDarling37]

Maybe there will be an update 🤞

[@eddieque]

Story 1: Out of all things she wrote on her post, the ONLY thing he got upset is people founding his reddit acc for rating boobs

[@ElleD308]

Honesty OP 1 is TA to herself. She dated that man with that mom and STILL decided to marry him 😂 what an idot.... what was she expecting? Everyone would magically turn nice after the wedding?

[@Ayimii]

"The worst they can say is no." OP: Hold my beer.

[@foureyedelf6151]

"That was really brave. Anyway as I was saying before you so rudely interrupted me-" Yeah this girl isn't even a friend. She's his sounding board and nothing else. He's been saying for years that everything about her repulses him. I bet he doesn't even look at her when they talk. Why is she still hanging around? She's having feelings because she probably hasn't been around anyone but him.

[@1kokokala10]

​@foureyedelf6151 because he sees her as a friend? Like genuinely, if the roles were reversed, OP would be the creep. He's made it clear he only sees her as a friend, and she still confessed. That's all on her at this point.

[@royal_stray7734]

To be fair he absolutely knew, considering that OP herself noticed that their friendship was changing, she had probably made comments before that made him realize. He does view her as a friend considering how he's still answers her calls, but she's probably not that high on his list of priorities. He's only friends with her because they've always been that way, and less because it's a person he chooses to hang out with. Which doesn't make either of them bad people, sometimes people just grow apart without really wanting to

[@LunaP1]

😆

[@DaBaseBallZ]

Story 1:My question is:How did OP even manage to marry this bastard in the first place???

[@shadowkissed2370]

Abuse that made it all seem normal, until her daughter was brought into it and then the reality hit her that her daughter will go through it if she stays.

[@kp2223]

​@shadowkissed2370 most abusers keep their mask up until the victim is trapped (marriage/baby)

[@lorddaegoth]

​@@kp2223 True, though sometimes people do also just make terrible decisions. I was one of those.

[@TopazFire15]

She was 19 when she married him, based on the ages, and 19 year olds are famously bad at noticing red flags in relationships.

[@1tommyday]

And have a baby with him?!?if she hates him so much why is she procreating with him???

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

"By the way they weren't a 4 out of 10, they were a 10 out of 10." Haha you tell 'em sister!

[@gremlinwife4326]

OOOH Hot-Flan gave us the TEA and it's PIPING 🔥 Edit: oh good lord. Anyone who says they'll "whip them into shape" and has a history of putting their hands on children is not someone you want around your small children. What a waste of a husband. He 100% had the reddit divorce declaration coming.

[@marshawargo7238]

I wonder if, every time, seeing YTA, she thought whether it was him or not😅! "That one's not him, he couldn't even spell compromise, let alone know what it means😂!!!

[@angietyndall7337]

Story 1 concerning MIL. In the U.S. spanking a child is abuse. Idk about elsewhere though.

[@poetryqn]

Story 1: Damn, I wish OP wasn't carrying Seffan's baby. Regardless of any custody agreement, she's going to have to deal with her AH ex and his family for the rest of her life. Man, that's a sour pill.

[@LadyWolvie82]

Depending on where she lives, she can try for him to sign away his parental rights (while he pays child support) plus go for full custody.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

​@@LadyWolvie82 That's a good idea. In fact, it'll be the best solution for everyone involved. Only, if he signs away parental rights, that means he'll have no say or power over the child right? Won't that also mean he's not obligated to pay child support? I'm not an expert on child custody laws, so I want to be sure.

[@midiandawn]

​@@PrincessQ-fj9lymost places no. Even if he signs over his rights he's still obligated to pay unless another man (i.e. a future husband to op) adopts the child legally.

[@MelissaBlueHunter]

MAN i am so happy she left this guy. Wtf steffan

[@MsAnpassad]

I can bet a lot of money on that MIL didn't throw the necklace away, it's in her jewellery box. And I wouldn't be surprised if her soon to be ex knew about it.

[@foureyedelf6151]

It'll show up on the neck of his next girlfriend in like 3 months.

[@haplessasshole9615]

@@foureyedelf6151 Only if his mother is his next girlfriend, which doesn't seem to be out of the question.

[@maranathaschraag5757]

"get over it" is a trigger phrase for me. i've been told i should "get over it" by people who neglected and abused me. it's incredibly dismissive, condescending, and gaslighty. "move on" is another one, when said in the same tone. if anyone says that to me, the conversation is instantly over. and yeah, being in a "family" that supports and protects and abuser is very much like being in a cult. they're the cult leader and can do no wrong, even while screaming at everyone and beating children. it's bizarre to think back on it when it seemed so "normal" at the time. I love this for OP. she handled this like a fn legend. in the new update, op says" At one point, I was so convinced that I had early-onset dementia or schizophrenia that I started to question my own sanity. I felt lost and confused, struggling to distinguish between reality and his version of events." i feel this so much. i though i was losing my memory and actually went to see a neuropsychologist for full psychological testing because i had been so gaslit i couldn't trust my own memory. it's terrifying.

[@Ayimii]

@@maranathaschraag5757 It's so bad that I instantly want to walk away from anyone who days "trigger."

[@colleens1107]

Story one: man, imagine being on Reddit so much your STBX uses it as her Dear letter.

[@lina9535]

Story 1: What OP included in the post could hardly be considered doxxing. Way too little information, and really nothing that was "personal identifiable information". And no, someone managing to find his reddit account doesn't really count. Because most people don't have their name, adress, etc on there. If that person who found his account however, were to share it with malicious intent. That would be doxxing.

[@ragnarokxg2113]

It is fake, I am waiting for fake Steffan to appear now that he deleted his profile.

[@marktwain2053]

​​@@ragnarokxg2113 Yeah, they're all fake right? None of this stuff ever actually happens, right? 🤡

[@rubymeaddle]

OP 1 sticking up for the girls and their girls is iconic

[@GaskyChan]

Oh no not the one with crush story. I remember when I heard the respond to the confession and thinking “oh honey noooo” poor OP

[@charityquill4965]

Yeah it's kinda weird how OP literally poured her heart out to him and he was like "okay, anyways..." Like obv he isnt obligated to reciprocate those feelings, but a confession like that warrants a discussion about "okay, so this changes our dynamic. Let's talk and figure out what's gonna happen going forward if we are gonna stay friends, what we can do to make things less tense and awkward". Him expecting things to continue on as normal like nothing happened seems a bit clueless at best and maybe a bit insensitive at worst.

[@pinionification]

​@@charityquill4965 He's already friend zoned her, as described in her original post. "I won't date anyone remotely similar to you. Not even if they have the same eye color."

[@Anananananananananananananas]

@@charityquill4965I don’t know about that, he made it clear he didn’t like her and I’d understand if he felt awkward and just wanted to avoid a conversation he already had

[@crash92la98]

OP is giving "nice girl creep" behavior.

[@fishbowl5308]

Not poor op. She didn't have to confess learn what the wise guys who know they won't leave the friend zone know either kill the feelings or just leave don't tell em because it's never gonna go your way.

[@jackwatt8988]

1: Leaving the partner isn't enough. OP needs to leave the area she lives in and go no contact with her husband. The husband should never get to meet his kid, because he'll allow MIL around the child. As much as OP should leave him, it's just not enough and in some sense makes it worse for the child.

[@dexine4723]

Just what I was thinking. I had an abusive grandmother who used to babysit me all the time (she lived with us), and it was hell as a small child, sworn to secrecy by grandmother about things she did, with threats of terrible things happening if I said anything. Anyone in OP's situation needs to get far, far away.

[@bonniehalf-elven]

Legally, that may not be an option, but she can certainly bring it to the judge in the custody case.

[@annabethsmith-kingsley2079]

Story 2 He probably had no reaction because he’s known for years and enjoyed a friendship with a woman who adored him.

[@jackspring7709]

Ah. Good point - and after just hearing his reaction I think you're right....and also that he's a jerk.

[@TheBreaker996]

As a woman who was in an OP2 situation, yes. He enjoys her adoring him. Being his vent buddy, his personal, free-of-charge cheerleader/psychologist. While he gives her enough attention to make her stay.

[@veezopolis]

@@annabethsmith-kingsley2079 he enjoyed a friendship. Kinda gross you claim it has to be because he's using her

[@annabethsmith-kingsley2079]

@@veezopolis I did not "claim", I speculated.

[@GrifoStelle]

That last one gave me chills. Maybe it's not OPs fault. Maybe things are being left out... There was a guy that was scary obsessed with me. His story was alot like hers "We've been friends forever", "I do all this", "I put in this effort", "If I don't reach out you won't", "you just don't UnDeRsTaNd" all the way down to "Luckily we're too busy for me to bother you much." And "I just disappointed you don't understand how serious this talk is" The reality was I'd been working for him for a month and he'd decided we were soulmates. He'd try to call me into work (I worked 3 jobs at the time) chain calling me for updates on when I'd be in. Then be "hurt" that I'd missed his surprise dates. I had to try to limit how often he'd call me. I had to insist he was like family and that I wouldn't want a person with X trait. Anything to push him back without triggering his s**cide threats. He finally pretended to be sick so I'd bring medicine to him. Grabbed ahold of my wrist (I was small and he was 3 times my weight) and held me down to explain. You see... He'd spoken to the creator of God and my dead father. He got their blessings to pursue me at all costs. He'd known me so long because we'd been married in many past lives. And gods daddy and my dad revealed that all he had to do was f**k me real good and I'd fall in love with him. I fought back until he had me on the end of a 45 angry that "he messed it up too much" and wanted to try again in the next life. Op worries me, a lot. I hate that my judgment is clouded enough that her repeating he disappointment after her "confession" is what kicked me back in those ancient memories.

[@meechiebaby493]

I am sorry that you had to go through that. I hope you're doing well.

[@a.b.2850]

Omg, I’m so sorry you went through this. You were so incredibly brave, hope you’re doing okay, or better 💗 I hope that scumbag got arrested, or his butt managed by your brother or someone.

[@jaimejones3177]

That's terrifying...Im so sorry. I can see how this would trigger you, but OP seems like a sweet girl with a clear head and no expectations. She went into it admitting he would probably not feel the same way. She seems to have accepted reality and closed that chapter. I think these are very different situations... but I hope you're doing OK. ❤

[@mygrandma3041]

I'm always sad to hear a couple who are supposed to love, protect, and spend their lives together ended up with someone like him. I have little sister (17) and we love to watch Mark's videos to sniff out these type of people, toxicity, and manipulation. Even though both of us doesnt have parents figure, Mark's video help us to bond and be better person.

[@a.b.2850]

Sendings warm hugs to you and your sister 💞 It is not easy to raise ourselves, but it is possible and best when you have no one irl. I’m 44, a mom, and I’m still doing exactly what you did. I had parents, but abusing me was all they could do. I learned better and now I do much better. I ended the generational pass down of abuse.

[@DaBaseBallZ]

Story 2:Well,Idk what to say other than just prepare yourself and say it But if he rejects you,DON'T go crazy

[@mimi.dixon.b]

Judging by his reaction, he probably already kinda knew

[@lynnw7155]

She cut him off in the middle of his story to tell him she had romantic feelings for him. I think she just blindsided him. Maybe he never thought about OP that way. He can either be disturbed by the idea and back off from her or her 'confession' could plant a seed. I wouldn't throw away the friendship yet.

[@lusnoct4298]

@@lynnw7155 There's no hope for any seed that sprouts from this. OP is already realizing how much more she was invested in things that he was. In the off-chance, and I consider this extremely unlikely, that he develops feelings for OP? It'll be too late, because OP will have moved on.

[@veezopolis]

Too late she already did

[@Regrettable-Username]

S1: OP starting to 'break it down in a language you can understand" had me buckling in for a wild ride.

[@shuragear525]

Story 2. Serious question, this might just be me, and I don't want this to be a "if you switch the genders the OP is an unforgiveable horrible person" or anything that bad. But also, would we tell them to shoot their shot if the other person was giving them all sorts of random excuses to not date? Eye color? name? that just sounds like someone who's non confrontational trying to tell someone "I don't see you as someone I'd ever date". Would we tell a guy to keep at it with a girl who told them small excuses to not say no directly. They were even told that the bff didn't see them as important? Again, would you tell a woman that she didn't care about her friendship when the guy confessed they wanted more than friendship and she didn't? I am sure every woman here at least has that experience of trying to have a guy friend who eventually confesses and nukes the friendship entirely... the bff simply sounds like they were waiting for the bomb and had long since mourned the loss of their friendship, so it's as easy as "oh, you caught up to the news? cool, have a good life"

[@venusbleu5764]

Yeah this was such a weird joke of a story and terrible lack of ability to read the damn room.

[@destinedtogame]

Those guys who do what she did are seen as neck beards

[@shuragear525]

@@venusbleu5764 Like I don't want to be too harsh on the op for what they feel, but seeing so many take the "either he accepts your advances or he never really cared about you" stance is so weird to me.

[@shuragear525]

@@destinedtogame even if the guy is some super attractive model that even hits every mark the bff wants in a relationship, a close friend is very meaningful and losing someone you can confide in and trust so deeply because they see you as just a potential relationship and not good enough as a friend is just sad. Like go ask any girl how they feel whenever a guy they thought would be a good long term friend confessed and then cut their entire friendship because of it

[@destinedtogame]

@@shuragear525 I had a female friend I thought I was close with. She was there for a lot of my life events, I was there for hers, and when I had my daughter. She lost it. Saying we were to be more and how dare I not see this. That shit sucked. I really needed her friendship

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

So ex hubby is an avid Redditor and participates in what sounds like relationship advice subs but still fell to the same bad husband trope thousands of men fall into on Reddit? How did he fumble it this badly?

[@angelaa7388]

Well every post has to have some comments that are bad takes. I assume he was one of them. And probably just parrots platitudes.

[@CloudsAndConstellations]

Them two "buddies" and 😂 "in a language you can understand" that leads into the quintessential Reddit intro got me goin DAYYYYYYYUMMMM in a BANK😂❤😂

[@ParrotMan01276]

I don't know why, but the way Mark says "FAT" makes me laugh every single time. It's the pause and the way be seems to yell it maybe?

[@boneymeroney2674]

It's like FAT is the worst possible slur. Skip the Bee and C bombs.😂 Fat. Is flappy a bad one too? 😂

[@mikeyb6859]

Story 2: Commentors all have it wrong. He knows how she feels about him but he does not feel the same way. He does not want to lead her on and wants to be straight with her but does not want to lose her friendship. So he acts a little aloof or distant as a way of demonstrating to her that there is no spark there. She, however, is in love and therefore doesn’t see the barriers he has erected. His response to her confession of love was an acknowledgement of the difficulty of her admission but maintaining the same barriers. What more does she need? She has always known his feelings, she just let herself build up a fantasy that maybe he might not mean what he said. Unfortunately, she will probably have to separate herself for a while because she allowed herself to hope for what he told her was not to be. Learn to believe people when they both say and do what they mean.

[@michaelautrey6641]

the people in story 2 telling her to take her shot have watched too many romantic comedies. she knew he didnt have feelings and she needed someone to tell her that there was nothing gained by confessing to him.

[@AndyyWithAY]

A guy prefers being with you over his GF and you think he's amazing? He's told you directly everything about you makes him unattracted to you. She can tell you him, but she DEFINITELY needs to pull away. This is so incredibly toxic. A guy says he wouldn't date someone with my name, with my other color, and I'd consider being with him? Ain't no way. He already knew how you felt. There's no way OP was discrete. Her actions said everything. Both these women frustrated me so much

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@blackrex828]

What i was thinking. Buddy told her point blank he didn't want to date anyone that looks like her.

[@JuanRodriguez-tf7fh]

Most are frustrating

[@Kimberly_Sparkles]

Eh, she needed to get it out of her system. Instead of hinting, she directly communicated. That’s super healthy and bodes well for the future when she meets someone she’s interested in again.

[@rf159a]

Story 2: OP should go out with a girlfriend get drunk and laugh and cry about life!! Please take an Uber or Taxi.

[@jackspring7709]

That comment by the MIL about how she intends to treat the child is a massive red flag and is enough to ban her from being anywhere near the newborn. The "husband's" response is grounds for getting away from these people as quickly as possible. EDIT. Well done, OP! You did good :)

[@christinesinclair6938]

S1: That age-gap isn't normally a problem, but then the "been together 10 years" made me cringe. This means she was 19 and this prick was 25. At that point, that is too big an age gap, so I'm sadly not surprised. I hope that the texts she has in evidence are enough to get full-custody. S2: Wow, a nice-gal? That comment about being the girl bestie every girl friend fears is really true. If he doesn't like her that way, this "friendship" is doomed by either his actions or hers.

[@stephe1506]

Yeah these stories really have me doing math instantly whenever there's an age gap and the inevitable "together for 10(+) years" tacked on the end

[@LadyWolvie82]

I read S1 late last night after coming home from the gym, and that story is FAR from over. Edit to add: There is an 'update' where OP states that she is okay (she also addresses the lies said about her) as her lawyer is helping her with staying safe and she is with family, along with smear campaigns from STBXMIL & STBXH, along with nasty messages sent to OP from his 'camp'. OP is gathering more evidence to secure the best-case scenario possible for herself regarding custody of the daughter. I wouldn't be surprised if the next update is in a year or two, or sooner than that.

[@stilettosnthaghetto6997]

Story 1 I fkn Love it!!!!!! I am applauding you all the way from here. You are my shero

[@grumpypants2066]

Whats a shero?

[@Abyssionknight]

S2 sounds like he knew about her feelings since he told her she's like a sibling to him and he could never date someone with her eye colour or name. His total lack of surprise or confusion, and just walking back it also suggests that to me. Hopefully she can get over him because she's so far into the friendzone she's almost in the family zone, so there's no hope of ever escaping that.

[@Leeleenicole55]

Story 2: OP I was typing my response before hearing the full update and I was spot on. I've been there done that. I was the girl bestfriend in love with their bestfriend from kindergarten until I was 18 years old. He knows that you love him but rest on the fact that you will always be there for him. The feeling is disappointment that you feel, but you will find someone that will cherish you, understand what you bring to the table, and the person for you will make the effort that you made in this friendship. Sometimes people are seasonal and he may be one of those people.

[@F1fangirl96]

Whaaaaat I got mark before my Rslash??? Whaaaaat! Hi mark! Hope you and poppy have a good day. I have you on while i work

[@Swnsasy]

ROFLOL no way! That's what I said too! I had to look at my clock again.. He's usually 30mins after R/Slash lol.. Gotta get over to Lost Genre too! 😂

[@AramayaArmani]

​@@Swnsasy glad to know other people go through all of these in a day 😂

[@maranathaschraag5757]

second story - i'm glad this is someone who is self aware. it's refreshing that she wasn't offended or stalkery and had realistic expectations for how the conversation would go. is this even reddit without drama? lol

[@RabbleDabbleYT]

Story 2: As someone who's had friends confess a couple of times, I could see that the guy already knew of her feelings and did not reciprocate. I hate that reddit egged her on to confess, because they filled her head with the "What ifs" she wanted to avoid. Stepping back was the right step to do, but her friend continuing on with the conversation wasn't ignoring her feelings; he validated her bravery, and showed he was willing to still remain friends despite what she did. She needs to reflect on her own biases on what she does for friends if she got upset at him for not reciprocating at the same level; you give what you get. If you have friends that don't put in the same effort into friendship as you do, then you need to stop putting in that effort. It only leads to unfair resentment and mistreatment.

[@Snowshowslow]

Maybe it's just the way she wrote it, but... it didn't sound like he answered her at all. Just validating her bravery without saying "I'm sorry, I don't feel the same way" would leave a bitter taste in my mouth as well, like the question didn't even deserve a reply. I've been on both sides of the equation a few times as well, by the way, and I get why you would have counseled her to just take some space. But I do think people have a right to get it out into the open once, even if they suspect it will be a no. That's a little awkward for the friend but it made such a difference to the ease with which she's able to accept this and move on now, I think that's a fair trade-off. For the friend too because he can now stop giving veiled hints.

[@RabbleDabbleYT]

@@Snowshowslow Sure, he didn't explicitly say in that conversation "I don't feel the same way," but he made it very clear beforehand on how he felt about her. He stated MULTIPLE times about how he felt about dating her, or people similiar to her, and yes, he could've been kinder in his approach, but it is not his job to make sure her feelings aren't hurt when she's rejected because she knew the outright stated answer. Her expecting that is the problem. I've ALSO been the rejected - and taking a step back from the friendship to evaluate my feelings saved me from tanking those friendships beyond repair. That's also why I said she needs to step back and evaluate how much effort she's putting into the friendship; other people have pointed out that her actions of friendship came with a cost, like making him handmade gifts or carving out time for him in her life. It's fine to do those things and expect (to a reasonable degree) something in return, but clearly he didn't reciprocate that level of energy as much as she did, which she should've noticed because it would've saved her a lot more heartache later on. Not that I'm saying she can predict those kinds of things, but hopefully she learns from this relationship and sets an example moving forward to set better boundaries with herself on how much energy to put in a one-sided friendship.

[@MizMorgue1]

S1 OPs post to her husband and MIL was a beautiful thing to hear. So glad she's out

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Me too. OP deserves so much better than this sham of a marriage. ❤

[@suitov]

Second OP sure liked being able to project whatever she wanted onto her unsuspecting autistic pal. It was disappointing for her to find out that he had said exactly what he meant regarding her being like a sibling to him. As an autistic who appreciates a lot when my friends put in effort to keep up the friendship when I'm not always psychologically able to do that, in his position I think I'd feel uncomfortable and like I'd been lied to. I hate that autistic feeling of "oh bugger, my reality was completely different from yours all along". Always makes me feel lied to, even when deception wasn't involved or intended. The redditors telling her to shoot her shot because "maybe he has secret feelings too!" were giving bad advice. You don't always have to blurt out your feelings, especially when you know it'll be rejection. You can, in fact, just not.

[@destinedtogame]

OP2 sounds like the subject matter of a song written by Paramore

[@nekorei2023]

Today has been extremely hectic and crazy (fights), Thank you Mark.

[@calliepancakes]

ah, i'm SO happy to see story 1 getting coverage. i happened upon it at random and i just had to share it with my entire circle because its just so deliciously scathing. steffan is NEVER coming back from this and OP deserves the world

[@ruddiko]

Stefan is such a mamma's boy name, redflag n1

[@18Hongo]

F in the chat for all the normal, decent blokes named Stefan.

[@keepdancingmaria]

That's so weird of you to say.

[@PuppyKatt]

Story 1: NTA You did what you absolutely needed to do, in the only safe way that it could be done. Good luck to you and your daughter, and please, stay safe and go nc with him, his mother, and the whole toxic group. Do not tell ANYONE where you are. Not even those who are closest and are supporting you, because he may bully or otherwise force your location out of them.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you remember to take care of yourself gosh darn it, you are always valid, and I love you and care about you so please take care of yourself 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@Regrettable-Username]

10:48 never underestimate the power or this! My parents had a very loving and happy marriage, so I saw people who were affectionate and supportive of each other from a young age. They rarely fought and when it happened it was quickly sorted out. So when I met my friends parents who were fighting and making digs at each other all the time it was a major culture shock. They never held hands, never kissed, never snuggled on the couch, never sang at each other, etc. Being around them vs my parents showed me what kind of relationship I want in the future.

[@Peeges_]

Thank for hanging out with us ❤

[@LovesGaming37]

It's okay for men and women to just be friends and nothing more. The friend zone isn't real and people who throw away friendship because they didn't get the love interest they wanted weren't really friends

[@PawleyGirl]

I started reading this one before I had to go to work... I didn't get to finish it. Glad Mark got it! 😄

[@AndyyWithAY]

It took OP way too long to wake up!! You were with this man for FIVE years and he never checked his mom. You say that's hubby material. Five MORE years pass and you let this man who never defends you put a baby in you?? My flabber is ghasted! She needs to be in therapy 4 days a week until that baby comes. She's got some trauma, major self esteem issues, something that kept her in this toxic dynamic way too long

[@lina9535]

Well, too many times we've seen the "oh they'll change" "this is just a one off" etc etc.

[@photofreak56]

In her meager defense when you are conditioned that this is the best you're going to do and that the abuse is normal. And you don't have anyone around you telling you that it isn't you end up in situations like this also she married the man when she was 19 Herr frontal lobe was not fully developed and I think it took realizing that her daughter would experience the same abuse that woke her up. I'm not justifying her actions I'm not saying that what she did was a good idea I'm just saying if you don't have a support system around you that tells you you deserve better you're not going to ask for better

[@untitled-gv3qp]

Sunk cost fallacy maybe? She was with him for years and she probably convinced herself that it was just a rough patch after marriage that ended up dragging on and becoming the norm.

[@ChoccyMilk954]

Maybe Steffan was great in the beginning of the relationship, and only started to show his true colors later on. that's one reason I can think of OP choosing to stay

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

​​@@ChoccyMilk954 Wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. A lot of A-holes are good at being two-faced. 😒 They're usually on their best behavior until they get what they want. Then the mask comes off and they show their true colors.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

I'm guessing Steffan will throw a shit fit and his mom will either tell him he has to demand custody of their kid once it's born, or she'll tell him that OP "probably cheated on him."

[@Russman67]

OH Buddy. You're about to get dragged! 😂 Great job dropping all the dead weight. The ESH commentator has to be Steffen, trying to deflect.

[@poohbear4515]

S1: Few minutes in and I’m already incredibly disappointed in OP for staying with her spineless mommy’s boy hubby after everything that happened with his mommy….even having a kid with him. Poor daughter.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

It's the "he'll change when we're married" trope.

[@TheDanster4]

That's what I was thinking too. If he was such an a-hole why stay and create a child with him? Doesn't make sense...

[@LightningFox7]

​@@TheDanster4 Sometimes its difficult. Hindsight is 20/20​

[@edo0girl2.03]

A lot of times it takes having to protect someone else for them to they need to leave. Often times people are more lenient with abuse on themselves and it takes realizing that someone they love could face the same abuse to wake them up. Be happy she woke up and left before the baby got hurt.

[@LilySaintSin]

​@@TheDanster4Of course he wasn't an a hole at first. He pulled through old bait and switch on her.

[@Dan_Hazard]

Mil is probably telling him she doesn't deserve him and he can do better, and that he'll get full custody of the baby and raise her correctly 😅😅😅

[@victorvaldez8869]

Story One: I'm reminded of line from a song I've heard here on KZbin; Paris Plaoma's song "Labour." "If we had a daughter, I'd watch and could not save her, The emotional torture, from the head of your high table. She'd do what you taught her, she'd meet the same cruel fate. So now I've gotta run, so I can undo this mistake. At least I've gotta try!!" I'm certain that finding out that she is having a daughter, & realizing she'd face the same treatment from dear old Granny is part of what is giving her the strength to run, & this act is probably what saves both her and her daughter.

[@RSARYR]

First story: NTA!!!!! OP is absolutely not in the wrong! This sounds like a complete and utter hell on Earth marriage. I am glad she is going into Mama bear mode and not only protecting herself but her unborn child as well.

[@valgreensteel3898]

I read this one the day it came out! You’re so fast Mark. 😹

[@fantasticmrfox9291]

Thank goodness, hello all yesterday was stressful, glad for a new video

[@nolav9280]

*S1:* Just want to point out that they started dating when she was 19 and he was 25.

[@HeyDarling37]

Wow. These stories were great. That first one. Woah. So I've heard you say to tell you what we're doing while were listening...well I've been sewing the last few days ..and another thing....been catching up on all your old videos from 2 years ago. I want to say thank you for all YOU do. Its been so nice for my adhd brain to quickly pick one if your videos and not have to scroll through and decide haha plus, your voice is so soothing in a way. I wish you could just read me a book. Haha Edit to add. Was listening to an Ok storytime yesterday and in one of the stories op mentioned Waffle Gang, and it gave me a chuckle. 🥰

[@meechiebaby493]

Story 1: I was so wishing that the husband would have made a post. He deserved everything he got, and then some. The way OP pulled this off was genius. I hope she and the baby move far, far away from the a-hole MIL, and the EX-husband.

[@marktwain2053]

1. NTA. The real question is: Why did you stay as long as you did? There have been many marriages destroyed by a Monster-in-Law, and Mama's Boy's/Daddy's Girl's, neither of which can see the other's faults. I hope she goes for full custody, and doesn't ask for anything that would tie her to that family.

[@wildblue0]

Story 1: I don't think MiL tossed the necklace. I think she stole it. As soon as OP's gone she'll start wearing it. "I found it at a flea market. Isn't it gorgeous!"

[@venusbleu5764]

Lol yeahhhh annuling mine due to a spineless husband and 💩 MIL too. Dude had no feelings until I brought up that she did not raise him to be a husband and father and he is not the kind of man I need to raise a family with. Felt. Hard.

[@JennRighter]

Why if this man is so unbearable are you having intimacy and getting pregnant with him? Now you’re tied to him for life. That’s some real stupid decision making.

[@momo-cchi5978]

1:19 Yall, the way I almost pissed my pants when I heard that.😂

[@jennym007]

My then friend professed his feelings to me, i said i just wanted to stay friends. We hung out together in small groups, had other friends, just did normal stuff friends do for about 6 months. Then i tried to set him up with a different friend and we went out for a group dinner. I got jealous! It was tangible and immediate and confusing. Three weeks later we're dating and this year is our 25th wedding anniversary. Im so glad my husband was prepared to wait until i was ready. Always take the plunge. At least then you know where you stand and can make informed decisions. And we have a very happy solid marriage that many people just dream about. 🌹

[@lidkagatarek3023]

Poor op from 1st story. 5 years with this mama boy is 5 years too much.

[@ComaLies225]

All the luck to Hot_Flan. Keep your baby away from that family

[@dawnstone4424]

Hearing Marks happy voice every morning is a perfect start to the day.His happy intro always has me grinning. Thank you Mark and the rest of the Waffle Gang!!

[@denvertrucker906]

3 year lease.... sounds like Belgium... lived in Belgium for a while it's standard there, Steffan also a very local Dutch/Belgium name

[@annabethsmith-kingsley2079]

There’s nothing wrong with a woman pursuing a man.

[@veezopolis]

@annabethsmith-kingsley2079 there is when he's said he's not interested

[@Princetonian4eva]

Why did she stay for so long and WHY IN THE HELL did she not stay on birth control. The crazy MIL was reason enough to leave. But this guy sounds like an absolute psychopath.

[@KCohere33]

OP in story one married a cliche mama’s boy. All those Apple text stories about evil MILs sound like they’re based on her life.

[@teddennison344]

As someone who once (many decades ago) had a female friend make a similar confession, my response was almost Identical. I had no romantic interest whatsoever, but I also knew I was far too much of a wuus to ever do what she just did, and that's damn impressive. Also, something to be encouraged.

[@jimfahey2329]

Did anyone else get South Park Terrence and Phillip vibes from this? I'm not your buddy, friend! I'm not your friend, buddy! 🤣🤣🤣

[@jackspring7709]

Lol me, too: - I was saying: "I'm not your buddy, friend, I'm not your friend, buddy" while I was making tea listening to the story.

[@ak8990]

Story 2: I had a similar situation to this many years ago. It's painful when its clearly one sided, but its best she just moves on and makes her peace with it. I feel for her. I hope she ends up with a wonderful man who adores her, which I did :).

[@jjr9792]

Both stories were really interesting, even refreshing! Here's hoping they have additional updates for Mark to cover in a few months 🤓👍

[@haroldvazquez]

Story 2 MY MAAAAAN! Focus on your grind!

[@mitchellsoto5141]

Great video today Mark!

[@ashelynamekian7359]

I grew up with corporal punishment. Bullied by my own parents. Mostly my father. Now I fear upsetting the people around me, fearing a violent response...

[@thelifeandbreathofsamantha9878]

Story 2 I just went through this with a limerant object and one of the things she said is what I told him is that I would love to just be genuinely happy for him to be with someone else and I’m not there yet so I need to take a step back.

[@YoYo-gt5iq]

In a divorce, the Grandma will have a fair amount of time with the child because he's going to dump the kid off on her. But you have to move on with your life

[@louellacharlton4425]

Tyvm Mark

[@madambutterfly1997]

I know that feeling all too well. Having friends you undoubtedly would never again if you didn’t always initiate contact. And as an introvert, always having to facilitate contact for make the first move just isn’t conducive with the reactive behavior of an introvert. I can’t maintain this “always initiating” forever and I’d have better luck winning the lottery than making truest of true friends at this stage in my late 20’s.

[@claytonfitzgerald782]

Thanks mate 😃

[@13thMaiden]

S2) Its sad but the right thing to do. From what she says it sounded like she was more invested in their friendship than he was. Which is just how life goes sometimes. I'm just glad she accepted the no and took the space, cause that was the best for both of them.

[@ScorpiusZA.]

I saw that on Reddit itself a day or so ago. I didn't know there as an update though

[@katglad]

19 and 25 is crazy

[@JennRighter]

I noticed that too.

[@brandyb2931]

Hello from Florida Mark! Hope you are having a good afternoon 😁

[@GBunnyG]

Oh, man, I love this already just from the title.

[@Ecclectic_citcelccE]

Story 1: ooh that title! 🔥🔥🔥

[@musingsnplaylists]

LADIES! PLEASE!!! DO NOT MARRY A MAN WHO'S MOTHER DOESN'T LIKE YOU. EVEN MORESO IF HE DOESN'T STAND UP TO HER. 2: NEVER GET PREGNANT FOR A MAN LIKE THIS. JUST LEAVE. YOU ARE WORTH MORE.

[@StephBer1]

I saw it uploaded to Reddit just a few days ago!

[@jas6940]

S2 OP is just a nice girl girl best friend type To me nothing else like imagine confessing to someone that said “I don’t even want to date anyone with the same eye color as you” like what even is that type of preference?

[@TH-hy9kr]

These MIL stories always make me super grateful for mine.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

So if they have been together for 10 years, that means he was 25-ish when she was 19. When it comes to brain development that is still two completely different stages of life. Do you know what this is? The most reminds me of that one story Mark read (I can’t find the video. I don’t know if it was private/deleted.) he read a story were OP asked if she was TA for dumping her husband’s sweetie, because husband was being a complete “Richard” because she was a couple seconds late leaving the house with him so they can go in the morning run when she was making sure to turn off all the lights in the house, according to his instructions of how he wants the house maintained. She later realized she was basically groomed by this older man being married to him at 19 years old when he was in his 30s. She talked about how he made her feel fat and ugly when she wore loose fitting comfortable clothes and made fun of her make her feel childish and small, because she still like to watch her favorite cartoons. (technically she was a child. She was 19. Her brain was not finish growing yet.) Which what room does he have to complain about his wife being childish he married a child God for bid at 19 years old. She likes to watch cartoons for her comfort.

[@KatieMH]

I’ve been that girl in the second story…. I ended up pulling a way and stopped reaching out and actually became better friends with an Ex of his!!

[@KE-hr4sb]

Randomness, I miss seeing "Broken but fighting" 's comments on this sub. Hope they are doing well, they always brightened my day.

[@jaimejones3177]

2: Gotta say...OP is a good one and he missed out. She's sounds like a sweet girl and is incredibly brave. To go forward knowing the end will probably hurt takes immense courage. Well done OP! You'll find the right one, and he'll be crazy for you. ;)