My Toughest Shadow Work Experiences..

[@russellstephen6998]

Sometimes you have a really rough day... AND THEN Kelly-Ann releases a 50 minute video talking about something juicy and you realize it's gonna be a good day after all!!! Hope you all are doing well.

[@LoreMIpsum-vs6dx]

Kelly-Ann, I hate to even externalize this about myself because it is so shameful, but I have been that person who has "cut off" and ghosted loved ones. The times that it has happened, I have have been so spiritually/emotionally maimed that all I could do was crawl into a ball and go dormant. Interacting with **anyone** felt like being dragged through broken glass. Every phone, call, email, or text was like acid being poured on me. There was a constant shrieking in my brain. I was blind and in mind-shattering agony. It was the most hellish time of my life. It laid waste to my whole social life and even now I'm skittish about making close relationships because I still haven't processed all the trauma. I can't trust the I won't just go into shock and go dark again. Maybe it doesn't map to your friend's experience but your description was uncomfortably familiar. Much, much love.

[@kelly-annmaddox]

Thank you, darling. Thank you so much for sharing this x

[@lilaluminary8241]

Speaking about your experiences really touched my heart, thank you for your vulnerability Kelly-Ann. I've experienced a very similar situation with ghosting, and that wrought so much shadow material I contended with as a result of projecting someone else's unrelated actions against my self worth. It's an unnecessarily cruel thing to do to a friend, but identifying the other person's shame that may have caused the ghosting is what helped me cope too. Very difficult territory, thank you for sharing your perspective which helps my own healing too.

[@vegantechno3507]

People not doing the work is a growing edge for me too. I find compassion towards others is helpful and in turn that is slowly releases a difficulty I've had with compassion towards myself instead of everything getting into a judgemental mess towards others and self. Really helpful, raw and wise content as ever my lovely so much gratitude. Tuesday I get your book so that shall be prioritised ❤️

[@JensBalancedTarot]

I related so hard to the majority of what you had to say in this video. Some of my toughest shadow work experiences are similar to the ones you described. But the real kicker was when you talked about your frustration when you just "know" the other person isn't doing the real work, and is perfectly content placing 100% of the blame outside of themselves - and specifically onto you. Picture me standing up and yelling, "YES! That's it!" 🤣 THAT SAID -- it also made me realize something. That frustration in and of itself is maybe actually part of the work. That's a healthy sign that you ("general you" probably speaking more for myself here) are not putting 100% of the responsibility on yourself. You recognize where your work ends and the other person's work begins. I think that in and of itself is good work! 💖 Anyway -- thank you so much for sharing this. It means a lot, Kelly-Ann.

[@godless8641]

That is the most succinct and clear description of shadow/work I've ever heard 💀🥀💗

[@EmilysTarotandMagick]

I love your shadow work videos Kelly-Ann. I always feel so empowered listening to you. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and beautiful energy as always 😘 Xx

[@Scentyland]

I needed this video today having a huge breakdown last night and this morning. Not taking responsibility for my mental health which isn't healthy.

[@christawright3500]

Omg I really needed to see this!! This is so spot on and relatable!! I've gone thru the same exact bs with girlfriends, and betrayals, and grieving that malicious behaviors from those you believed were your friends. I believe they were the weak, insecure "mean girls" who need the shadow work the most. I am much happier now but it was a tough time 3 years ago. I was blacklisted and slandered when I really always wanted best for those ladies but they could not accept the bad parts of themselves only criticizing me after the fall out. So many people are not able to be introspective and look at themselves honestly. You can't help anyone they have to help themselves. At least we are open and honest with ourselves and doing the work. I'm a recovering overgiver too. And as an empath, I've learned to cut out the toxicity, and set boundaries to help myself. Thank you so much for sharing.

[@nightshadepurplebroom3516]

Midsommar was an incredibe film! You are still my favourite channel for shadow work! Thank you for always being candid about your journey and the work you have done on yourself.

[@michaelurvoy]

Such a raw video. Thank you so much for sharing it Kelly-Ann. I can definitely relate to having to deal with becoming estranged with certain members of one's family.

[@ladyamalthea85]

I definitely needed this today. Although it wasn't an easy watch. I am coming to the realisation that I need to actually delve into shadow work. I am feeling a real lack of emotional intimacy in my life because I'm not able to open up due to fear of being hurt again. Time to watch the playlist methinks. Big love.

[@saphia6208]

Thank you for sharing that. I frequently feel affected by cyber stalking, cyber bullying or poeple on the internet that seem very unwell. Thank you for confirming, that it happens. It really resonnates.

[@angelicafernandez17]

Thank you so much for sharing, Kelly-Ann!

[@elineeugenie5224]

I think from what it all sounds like, definitely shame - combined with incapacitation from being doped out. You're much more of a fighter and you were moving away from accepting the other person in the way you used to. She felt it and couldn't deal. 💙 Girl with no shadow

[@goddessreverierosehawthorn3724]

With your book coming soon I feel so spoiled with every new video lol. I’m so excited! And Lovely earrings! *grabs popcorn to watch video*

[@kelly-annmaddox]

Thank you, darling! Those earrings are old and beloved. I will never let them go. **swoon** I hope you enjoy the book! x

[@madelineisley4667]

I've been watching this channel since 2018. And lately, every single one of your videos has made me think "Wow, this has been the best Kelly-Ann video ever" and this video was no exception. I feel so inspired to do more shadow work again and to continue to shadow work even if I feel like I've already been over it - especially my crunchiest bits. I'm so excited for the Afterthoughts video on Patreon. Thank you so much for being vulnerable and as always thank you so much for being you and inspiring me and others to do the same.

[@elineeugenie5224]

Thank you Kelly-Ann for an excellent video💚❤️💜💐 True in the roots of me, but no longer in the branches of me - that's just so good!!

[@Lisa_Papez]

Thank you so much for all you share, Kelly-Ann. I know this one had to be especially challenging to hit that public button on. I'm so grateful for the ways you engage on this platform and the ways you share within the context of what is comfy for you. 💜🙏

[@tarotmumma56]

Thank you for sharing. Some really great points here and things I definitely could do with looking at myself. I always struggle with what to actually do once I’ve looked at the shadows. I never quite know what to do with them once I’ve recognised them. Especially when they’re really ingrained! Hope this makes sense. As always really thought provoking stuff , thank u 💜🌟

[@MeadowlarkMystic]

This was so honest. I mean you are always honest but I felt this really revealed some areas of hurt that I had not known about before. I could feel them. You definitely inspire people to honor and value themselves but also be honest and do your work. And you teach by example and I appreciate that so much. I see your book everywhere so congratulations again. Well done tremendous achievement.

[@epiphany1915]

Rebel witch arrived today and it's soooo good! You are awesome. Thank you for your content and thank you for your amazing book xxxx

[@blacklotusalchemy8648]

Saw the title and paused to go make a cup of tea, now commenting before Ive even watched anything

[@kellysardella928]

Liking & commenting before it is even done because anything you do in regards to shadow work has been extremely helpful to me & I am grateful for you sharing your experiences & wisdom. Love Midsummer excellent film 🌻

[@ericmunn330]

Thank you 🙏🏻. First time watching your channel - saw the first one you did nine years ago and then listened to this whole video. A real eye-opener and really useful. Especially your brave talk about self harm which is something I’ve struggled with and hadn’t even thought to address via shadow work (in fact hadn’t even considered it til you mentioned it and thought ‘oh yeah, that’s something I should look at!) thank again.

[@wylltsylvestris5817]

You inspire me and this video is just the icing on top. I cried multiple times while I watch you show the depth most choose to deny within themselves. Keep it up, cherry blossom!

[@kelly-annmaddox]

Thank you so much, doll. xx

[@TheSpiritualWitch1111]

Oh how I adore you, you mystical periwinkle you🌟 Your authenticity is the reason I started my channel! It’s inspiring to see a beautiful human being showing up unapologetically just as who they bloody are 🔥 I can’t not wait to lay my hands on your book 📖 Counting the days! Fabulous video 🦋

[@hannahemory]

I must say, though lots of folks are talking about shadow work now, Kelly-Ann's perspective and insights are the most straight-forward yet also deep-diving ones I've come across on the wild, wild web. Her shadow work videos have been and will continue to be essential for me 💖🌹

[@creativecoffee1508]

This was BRILLIANT. Thank you for sharing. Your videos have helped me understand what shadow work can look like.

[@plinda5109]

SO EXCITED! Amazon Canada finally delivered your book today! Been waiting for months.... can't wait to dive in!

[@AnyaEsma]

As an addition about the shadow-y aspects of friendships: It's great when the relationship is so honest that someone can say "I think you're falling back into old problematic patterns", BUT the actual key factor for me is what comes after that: If I check this worry for validity to figure out if I'm really in a bad situation and need to act, but then find it's actually not an issue (though I may understand why it looks like that from an outside perspective), are those people then ABLE to accept it? Or do they keep worrying and saying that I'm deluded and just ignoring the issue? For someone like me, who constantly second guesses if I have the right perspective on things, it's quite bothersome to me when people really think I'm not capable of being raw and honest with myself about the struggles in my life. Thanks for your video. :)

[@grimesresurrection9357]

Whoever is making you second guess your feelings is probably a narcissist. There's healthy input from other people, from the outside looking in who express concern for your well being. Even if you acted out or didn't understand a situation, a healthy person will acknowledge your feelings in the matter and then give information you may not have known about a situation. They'll express that they love you and want a healthy relationship. Someone who is toxic won't acknowledge your feelings at all, tell you your in the wrong, that your perspective is "crazy" and will then gaslight you into doing something you're not comfortable with. Hope that helps.

[@suemadell8878]

Kelly-Ann I’ve just now held your book in my hands for the first time and I’m SO utterly delighted for you honey!!! 😍😍😍 Can’t wait to embark on it. 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 x 💜

[@kelly-annmaddox]

Timestamps for this one will be added in a few hours, darlings. I have them written down but I left them in the bedroom where my bestie is sleeping and I don't wanna wake him up, haha! Consideration.

[@gnomie2.0]

Speaking of consideration, I have to thank you specifically for sharing so deeply about friendships ending, especially times when the other person “ghosts” you. I recently had this happen to me for the first time ever, and the shock and grief and self-doubt is so wild. It was really helpful to hear you talk about the way you processed those experiences. It was all so familiar and made me feel not-alone. 💚💚 Much love and gratitude to you. 🙏🏻

[@trishfinley2646]

I miss the gym so much too! 😭 The energy of group classes and that feeling when you hit a new lifting goal.

[@kelly-annmaddox]

I feeeeeel the fuck out of this comment. I think there might possibly be some tears in my eyes when I finally walk into the gym again OMG!

[@trishfinley2646]

@@kelly-annmaddox counting down the days to vaccination 🙏🙏🙏

[@sophielee.8774]

My book came today!! So excited! I've already started and I love it! ❤️❤️ Thankyou Kelly-Ann 😁

[@sneakaholic011]

dope midsommar tee. thank you per usual for your amazing videos. countdown till i get your book in the mail!

[@TheHermitPriestess69]

Thank you so much for this look into your shadow work . I just adore you , and in no way did I get that judgy vibe from you . Great video 💜

[@austinlea847]

You’re really diving deep here and I love it.. Crack my noggin open Kelly-Ann!!! Let’s gooo!!! 🦋🦋🦋

[@butterflymagicwithhottea9291]

Hey there beautiful Kelly-Ann! Coming to watch you cover this awesome topic.

[@lorethsj]

I don't have any 'shadows' I think I've done well on dealing with past problems. I can't relate. However, your book is on the way. So exited. Blessings

[@CherryBerry48]

aww i held my heart in hand hearing this, sounding just like myself. i have done shadow work to where i almost committed suicide. i had to seek all kinds professional help to get me past that point. you and me are truly alike! i love you darling!!

[@kelly-annmaddox]

❤❤❤

[@jessicaroberds594]

I do want to work with you, hopefully soon. For now I'm grateful that I can contribute through patreon for all of your amazing, hard, vulnerable work!! I don't know what all it takes to run a KZbin channel, but I'm sure at times it's very overwhelming. Your channel has helped me immensely! Thank you for all of your videos 🐱

[@kelly-annmaddox]

Thank you SO much for your support on Patreon - I appreciate it so much and it helps me massively. I look forward to working with you when the time is right, darling. :) Thanks for your kind words x

[@forgiveyourenemiesnow]

It's good to step away from shadow work. The pain can be over whelming. I think spending a lot of time at the beach (mother nature) helps me.

[@kimberlymcguire9610]

❤️ I needed this today. Thank you 🙏🏻

[@elminx1]

I really love this. Thank you so much for your insight.

[@Elizabeth-wr7mn]

I would say I was new to shadow work but actually I've spent months in eating disorder treatment so I guess not lol. So much of what you said resonated. I'm a new subscriber but it already is very helpful. Thank you.

[@RebaBee83]

Thank you for sharing. It spoke to me tremendously. 🔥💖

[@LotusMira]

A key part of shadow work is anti-racism work. Personal shadows very often mirror cultural, social, and/or ancestral shadows -- they are rooted in beliefs that are learned and/or passed down. Racism/white supremacy (and patriarchy) underlies so much of our culture and lurks behind so much of what we are raised to assume is default or neutral; we can't heal those beliefs if we don't do the work to come to terms with it in a way that is honest and not defensive. (For example, the body stuff is very complicated. Fatphobia in the West is very much rooted in racism (check out Sabrina Strings' book for a place to start with this). It's not a neutral issue of "health" or of "aesthetics" and it's not simple or straightforward. If we really cared about "health," things in our world would look very different -- health is much more complex than anything like body composition or individual behaviors/choices. "Healthism" is also a thing!)

[@kelly-annmaddox]

I definitely believe that anti-racism work is shadow work, for sure. For me, this video was to list some of the most 'sticky' shadows for me personally, rather than being a list of all the shadow work I value or partake in. Thanks for your thoughts on this.

[@ms53182]

Just ordered your book 💚

[@bycatandcrow888]

3:19 Midsommar is one of my all-time favorites- love it!!

[@kelly-annmaddox]

💕💕💕

[@rachael2180]

I LOVE Midsommar. Best movie in a long while, but I’m a Wicker Man (OG) fan & also the Jim Jones (I know you feel this), weird Scandinavian mythos vibe was sooo good. Popping in to say I think you were my introduction to Shadow work as a practice that seemed accessible & not just a Jungian idea or therapy practice. I’m always checking myself, sometimes I need to unpack how much so in fact. I hope it’s not too intrusive but I had a vision of a ring on you, a ruby or garnet with Celtic knotwork. Im waiting for your book to arrive. Tuesday! Many blessings & much love to you on your success. I’m so looking forward to witnessing this path forward for you.

[@rachael2180]

Please hedonism (if you will) with $ as a topic cause this pandie hit me hard with that one!

[@kelly-annmaddox]

I feel you on your assessment of the energy of Midsommar - what a film! 🤩🎬 No it's not intrusive at all. The ring you saw was a real ring that I actually used to own. It had a round garnet set in silver with knotwork elements either side. It was my 'wedding ring' with my first girlfriend who wore the same one, both on our ring fingers as symbols of commitment. I kept mine for years but lost it a while back. So cool that you saw it!! 😯🥰💍

[@rachael2180]

@@kelly-annmaddox the one I saw was oval stone but was in silver with knotwork on either said & on your ring finger. Interesting! Thank you for sharing!!

[@cyberbrujx]

thank you for sharing yourself with us 💜

[@silverkitty2503]

racism ..sadism ...homophobia ..sectarianism ...abuse ...control of our partner ...relationships with parents ...dogma ...greed...lazyness ..blame ..self hatred ...coldness ...shallowness ....vengeance ...everything that has happened both bad and good in your life ....were we spoiled? ..were we neglected? ...relationships ...we can push them away ..sometimes its good to ....i wouldn't wear my shadows on my sleave ..i think i put them in the undertones ....also they are not just in people ..they are in countries or Social groups inc families etc

[@BallJoinedWing]

immensely helpful. thank you

[@paulcleague5060]

KAM!!...I haven't watched your vid yet, i've been waiting to tell u the "REBEL WITCH" will be in my hands 4/13/2021... I'm planning to read the whole book at once...wishing you the best!!..thx again!!!

[@kelly-annmaddox]

Thank you sooooo much! It's so wondrous to see people take the book to their hearts. I deeply appreciate it! x

[@jessicaroberds594]

Mine won't be here from Amazon till the 15th, lucky!

[@autimarie]

Thank you 🖤

[@ConnietheVirgo]

Ive had really good and deep relationships go in the toilet on a dime like youre talking about. Probably the two best friends I ever had ended that way, and it happened because of a new boyfriend. I never understood that! One of them, the boyfriend actually pointed a gun at me. I was just her friend, but because we really cared about each other that was a threat for some stupid reason. Its so painful, but after awhile you realize that altho I miss her friendship so much, now shes in a toxic relationship and I dont want to be involved. Doesnt sound nice but its reality.

[@kelly-annmaddox]

OMFG the bf pointed a gun at you?! 😑 Sometimes the key emotion I feel for people who choose a connection with someone like that **over** longstanding loving friendships is pity. So sorry you went through all of that, and thanks for sharing.

[@Leroyish]

This was such an important video for me to take in

[@margauxlopez1017]

Yes I also love Middsommar.

[@mamamoontarot]

Yayyyyyyyy ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

[@TemperanceLibraRising]

I did the same. I dont speak to my fam.ily after my grandmama passed. She raised me

[@passingthrough4392]

Nice

[@jessicaroberds594]

❤️💕💜

[@nelle734]

I'm an over-giver, what books do you recommend?

[@kelly-annmaddox]

I personally find that resources about codependency are extremely helpful. I don't see myself as having an issue with codependency as a rule. But when I am chronically over-giving in a connection, the dynamic can look and feel the same as codependency in many ways, with me seemingly giving in order to be indispensible and to 'earn' the love/respect that the other person is struggling to prove themselves able to give even if they say they want to. 'The Codepedency Recovery Plan' has helped me, and 'Facing Codependence' is also a great one. Also, just this article on its own by Baggage Reclaim is amazing, I think: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/are-you-an-over-giver-people-who-give-too-much/

[@CherryBerry48]

its just that ex person dont care, i had people in my life like that

[@kelly-annmaddox]

🧡 I hope you mananged to heal x

[@silverkitty2503]

i am a bird i want to fly away from my roots !

[@SantisandKisin]

U sound very codependent and that is better to work out with psychologist. Lemme know. IM n Indigo esoteric, philosopher and psychologist.

[@kelly-annmaddox]

No psychologist worth their salt would ever leave a comment like this.

[@SantisandKisin]

@@kelly-annmaddox ur public rants rnt helping ya, instead, u making ur conditions worse. And Im the very special kind, who can see through things and through ya ;-)

[@kelly-annmaddox]

@@SantisandKisin I'm glad my rants seem to be doing something for you though. 🙂

[@cocoscorner7699]

This was so insightful and interesting and I want to thank you for always being so authentic and putting yourself out there to meet others where they are in their journey. You’re the bomb.com! Keep being you KAM 💜

[@kelly-annmaddox]

Thank you so much, doll! I hope you choose to upload more. 😍 I am subbed x