My Transgender Partner is Transitioning After 17 Years of Marriage

[@GreatScotts]

We ask for respect and open-mindedness as you learn about our family’s story. You can learn more about Shaye’s transition here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bKGqe2uIjMekrKM.

[@TariAkpodiete]

You should pin this to the top

[@KristyRadio]

Thank you for sharing! Wishing you both all the best!!!

[@onewotldgovernmentonlywhen9044]

Daniel 11:37 New King James Version 37 He shall regard neither the [a]God of his fathers nor the desire of women, nor regard any god; for he shall exalt himself above them all. About the antichrist

[@onewotldgovernmentonlywhen9044]

You are very sweet to your husband but please don’t forget about the salvation of his soul as well. It is something that is eternal

[@LynetteA68]

🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

[@kirtbateman6702]

Amanda and Shay, I’ve been wanting to write to you for a long time. I found you via your “why we left” video, which I’ve now literally watched 20 times. It so beautifully encapsulates what a faith transition looks like. For some of us. I just wanted to tell you that I think you are the bravest, most articulate, most selflessly loving, most “I want to be them when I grow up” people that KZbin has to offer. Your hard truths laid bare for the world’s judgment cannot be easy, but it’s so important in our world to hear stories like yours. I believe you are changing lives!!! What greater blessing could you give to your children or others that know and love you than to be authentic. Both of you. Amanda, if I were 25 years younger and braver, I would seek you out to be my bestie. Shay, your bravery gives me chills and makes me want to be a better man (and I certainly wouldn’t mind getting my hair back-that would be a dream come true). As a nearly 50 year old, gay, ex-Mormon, husband, and father who still holds incredible shame for just being me, your videos bring tears to my eyes and fill my soul with hope! Please keep sharing when you can. And THANK YOU for letting us strangers have a glimpse into your journey. It is a blessing to this total stranger, anyway. With love and incredible gratitude!!!-KIrt (SLC)

[@GreatScotts]

Kirt, you are so kind! Thank you for taking the time to share this with us. It means more to us than you can ever know. ❤️❤️❤️

[@dalenemoore]

Oh Kirt! Your words are so beautiful and 4:03 so loving. I’m in my 60s and likely could have been your church bestie back in the day. I can tell you are an incredible person. Hope your life is happy, satisfying and full of love now. 💙

[@vickismith2872]

I forgot in the past to say how beautiful your piano playing is! I enjoy it very much. You are talented in many ways!

[@abigail1783]

The transition journey must be so challenging. It's beautiful to see how supportive her wife is. Unconditional love

[@nickio.5513]

I don’t judge the way people want to live, but I know for myself I could not mentally handle my partner doing this. But I hope the best for them.

[@helenalovelock1030]

This lady didn’t either

[@LembeckIsStaying]

Do you mind elaborating?

[@lolraacheel]

It definitely depends upon the relationship you have with your partner. Some will be understanding and open, some will not be.

[@jamessmith6363]

@MrFukoltanot true

[@Piecesoftheshadow]

@MrFukoltaThis applies to all marriages and couples.

[@klimtscat347]

What do these people do for a living, I wonder! Because all of the treatments the husband explained he went through in order to appear more "feminine" really cost a fortune.

[@livelovelocalmi]

Amanda is a professor in English literature.

[@walquirp13]

​@@livelovelocalmiand what about Shaye?

[@clover5923]

Yeah, same thought. They seem really rich and are able to do the transitioning more quickly than other trans. Still happy for them though ❤

[@janekirk-coughlan4123]

I believe Shaye is a filmmaker.

[@sanchezhandymen3444]

It is expensive and I am sure they worked hard for what they have, Perhaps they can start a charity to help others in need.. they seem like nice people who would be advocates... seems like there faith and journey would lead them to giving to others. But who knows...

[@NerfHerder909]

I'm not sure how this (and your video about leaving the Mormon Church) popped up on my feed, since I'm not/have never been Mormon, and I've never watched your family's channel before, but I am trans (albeit going in the opposite direction, as it were), transitioning older with a partner. I just wanted to thank you for posting this; it requires a lot of nerve to put yourself out there this way as your transition is happening, especially in the first couple of years, and while I think it's important and really does help increase understanding of the trans experience, it's a really vulnerable place to be in (for both the trans person and their partner!). So thanks to both of you for putting this out there and helping to humanize the community. I wish nothing but the best for both of you, and I hope that Shaye's recovery from FFS is going well!

[@RoadkillbunnyUK]

I’m so proud of your courage to come out and especially share your story with us on KZbin. My youngest daughter is trans. She came out to me when she was 13. I am gay so she knew our home was a safe place with only love and support but even still she was scarred coming out to me. She is 16 now and has been out an socially transitioned for over two years. Unfortunately here in the UK there are huge waiting lists for trans care and as I am a significantly disabled single mom who is medically retired I don’t have the funds to pay for private care. I am going to tell her all about you. Thank you for putting yourself out there I know that in your community coming out is no easy step.

[@RickPatNB]

I mean him, not her. Since "she" is probably your biological son.

[@chasingtheadventure5908]

I’m blown away by your beautiful support of each other ANDDD the filmography!! So incredibly well done.

[@mariamikkelsen4803]

This is amazing. I recently saw your story of leaving the mormon church and about your journey in that. To have come this far and to see your love for each other in all of thia is amazing. ❤ All my love to you!

[@kerstinklenovsky239]

Watching this, I suddenly realize that your whole story is about love because you have chosen to make it about love. Sadly, many trans stories are not. You are admirable. Others can learn so much from you. I certainly can. I wish you every good thing for now and for every step on your way.

[@soupturn2485]

Please this comment made me tear up after holding back throughout the whole video 😭

[@montealmay5739]

Same

[@catecate2809]

I’d love to have a video from Amanda’s perspective. From being told in 2019 while still members of the church that your husband came out to you til now. You are so supportive and that’s great however I just wonder is there also a grieving process? It makes me wonder as humans are we all more fluid than maybe we want to believe or know? Are you physically attracted to the physical changes? I know intimacy is very much a mental connection but it’s also very physical too. I know I want to believe if I was in your shoes I could or would be as supportive. I mean loving someone for who they are on the inside doesn’t change but physically they do. I’m fascinated by your journey. I’m also curious how this transition is affecting your intimacy from Amanda’s point of view? You don’t have to answer these questions I’m just “thinking out loud” if you will. I just wonder has your relationship become more like 2women best friends sharing makeup, clothes etc? If Shaye fully transitions and gets reassignment surgery loving and supporting her is one thing but at what point are you sacrificing your happiness for the sake of Shaye’s happiness?

[@crisR2386]

Great question/comment!

[@maryhazlett]

You say your kids are excited, and I get that. How are you explaining this to them, and what will change in your parenting? I personally think of people as "people". However, gender is important, as you both well know. Are you trying to navigate the difficult trail of what the relationship with your kids will be? Will you be "father"? Will you be a version of "Heather Has Two Mommies"? I hope I'm not sounding disrespectful because that is most definitely not my feeling or intention. I can only imagine the familial difficulties you are experiencing. If some are as I imagine, you are very very brave. I honestly pray that you continue to have the strength to stay on this journey. I'm glad Skylar is with you. To him I say what I mean for you too, really for anyone: any church which tries to impede love, tries to shrink it, tries to judge people for loving, does NOT follow or witness to the gospel. Not Mormonism or Catholicism or Christianity or Judaism... Those places limit people, and don't want them to grow. Those who may sacrifice relationships in order to walk beside Shaye and Amanda are truly listening to that still small Voice heard in the wind. They, too, are brave.

[@letitiakearney2423]

@@maryhazlett Pope Francis accepts gay people as he explained in an address two years ago that their was science to back gender up.

[@MomtoZnE]

I have all of the same questions. If I were in Amanda’s shoes I can’t say that I’m sure how I were to react. If his sexuality is changing, hers has to as well for the marriage to last.

[@auggiedoggiesmommy1734]

I’m sure she grieves the life she thought she had but probably grieves the life she thought she would have in her church. Change happens and humans grieve all kinds of things. I think kids are so much more resilient than adults give them credit for… especially when they are loved and are allowed to express themselves authentically,unlike being forced to conform to norms just because…or even in many cases discarded because of their religion (I saw this sadly OFTEN with LGBTQ kids in Utah when I visited teens in the state hospital with my therapy dog -kids who had been told basically “be the way our church wants you to be or get out of our house” - makes me sick as someone who couldn’t have children, I can’t imagine!) I think these kids are being taught to love no matter what …the thing we all need the most. We all make sacrifices for the ones we love …. we have no idea what they have agreed to regarding her fulfillment. But what do we do if a spouse gets a life threatening,terminal or disabling illness or accident? We don’t (or shouldn’t) just leave and there are MANY challenges with illnesses. I hope and pray that the alt-right moves on from spewing their dangerous hatred at this vulnerable population (mostly for money BTW … they sow a seed of fear and then say how they will fix it if you send money. What they don’t tell you is that the money raised for an issue mostly doesn’t necessarily all have to be spent for what it is raised for …and think of this … $250,00,000+ was raised for #TFG court cases about the election … just an example of how much money & the reason fascists ALWAYS create an “other” … fear that gets votes and money). I’m also glad we are mostly/individually much more accepting. These kids just love their Dad or whatever they decide to call her.

[@amandayoung8808]

I understand that Shaye is attracted to women even tho he’s transitioning into a woman but is Amanda attracted to women? How does this work in an intimate level? Was always curious about that in a relationship where one transitioned

[@domesticdomination]

Thank you for being bold and open and living your truth. I'm so proud of you, Shaye. As an non-binary former mormon, I'm here for you.

[@lisac1819]

You're so lucky to have found each other it's beautiful to see. Sadly, far too many people don't get it they dont recieve the love support or understanding that you have for each other. I'm sure you must know how much you're helping show us all how to be better people. Love is not just a word x

[@andreaavila3302]

Just a note about piercings, if Shaye plans to get more than she should definitely go to a tattoo/piercing parlour! A needle has way less risk of infections than a piercing gun and you should only get pierced with a needle if you do helix and any other cartilage piercings! Looking forward to more updates on your journey!

[@MsP1XIE]

Shaye you don’t even know how happy I am to have found your channel. Everything that you are going through I’ve gone through. It’s like looking in a reflection of what I’ve experienced. You and your partner in some ways also reflects my journey with my girlfriend. She also has stayed with me through everything I’ve experienced. I’ve similarly had a lot of the feelings you’re experiencing. Including feeling like I would lose everyone if I was to allow myself to be who I’ve felt I was all along. The things that both of you say when you speak of experiences as well as the points both of you bring up touch me deeply because they are things I’ve experienced and feel myself. Thank you both for showing us your journey. I’m experiencing so many emotions watching what you’ve experienced. You both are wonderful. Thank you for sharing. ❤

[@ellalunnadc]

Your authentic self shines so bright. I'm so happy that you found someone that supports and loves you. Because we deserve to be loved just the way we are. Such a beautiful couple ♡ I'm in tears.

[@anamakesthings]

Oh well... I sobbed like a baby throughout this video. I'm not a Mormon and, in fact, I was not raised religious at all. However, I was raised in a very high-demand and very abusive household. I was born in '87, in Romania during communism. My family was so traumatized by the dictatorial regime that they required me to "take full advantage" of our newly found democracy in all the ways it was withheld from them. I would be violently beaten for coming home with a 94% on a test when someone in my class got 98%, called a whore, prostitute, slut etc. for wanting to do theater, threatened with being sent to the orphanage for not complying with whatever was asked of me. I was punished for having an identity and straying from my parents' plan for my future. In my mid-20s, I ended up in the psych hospital because of su***dality. My family called me dramatic and accused me of doing it for attention. It took me 10 years of therapy and literally moving to another continent to be able to trust and like who I am. I do not wish this hell on anyone. There is so much joy in my chest right now to see someone claiming their authentic self. The unconditional love inundating your family is what Godliness means to me :)

[@InterDivergent]

This is such a moving story. Stumbled across your channel by chance. Thank you for sharing your story and for being so authentic, real and loving/supportive towards each other.

[@rhondas8394]

Are their kids really excited for their dad's changes? They are kids. This is a lot for kids to take on. Hope they have their kids in some kid of counseling so they can express their emotions and feelings seeing their dad change his outer appearance to look like a woman.

[@amylink7199]

I’ve been watching you via Instagram for awhile and I have gotten a bit attached to you and your sweet family. This is the first time that I have gotten a back story. I never realized the amount of pain that you were in, Shaye. I knew that your decisions definitely had to be painful, but I just didn’t know how much. You are beautiful and I am so thankful that you have each other. I am thankful that you found your way out of controlling religion and into the beautiful life that you have now.

[@sanaishere18]

I am not trans but I am working on deconstructing my religious upbringing and the shame, victim blaming, etc that lead to my depression and PTSD. You have a new subscriber because I love to see the love and compassion between you two. Keep pushing forward on this journey ♥️

[@heatherjoslin8291]

I’m wondering how one says they just want to be themselves, yet make all these invasive and expensive alterations to be something else. Serious question. I see this is non trans issues as well. Is it authentic if it requires that much intervention?

[@GreatScotts]

Thanks for the question. In my case, I don’t view the surgery as something I have to do but something I want to do as a form of self expression. Consider that there are all kinds of elective procedures that people do that many wouldn’t question, but when it comes to anything in regard to the gender binary, it becomes especially problematic for some people.

[@outwardbound2241]

If a woman feels she was born to be a mother, but happens to be infertile, it's totally accepted that she changes her naturally given body by surgery and/or medication in order to become a mother, right? So drastically changing something about oneself to become one's true self is very much accepted in some areas, but not in others. Why?

[@HoneyGingertea]

@@outwardbound2241 it's not natural for a woman to be infertile, when you're sick, you go to the hospital.

[@KJ-wh8fu]

"The greatest achievement in life is to be authentically you." YES

[@robbjones6475]

I am so happy for you and I love your family for their support. I was married for over 41 years to the most wonderful person I’ve ever known, loved and knew all my secrets. However, my wife was honest with me and told me she could support a transition but could not continue to live with a transgendered person. Because I needed her in my life as a partner I gave up on the idea. Anyway, she passed away very recently and I’ve lost a very large part of me, it’s hard to move forward. At 69 years old, I’m at a quandary what now? I’m relatively healthy for my age, always a little feminine, and very financially secure, but… Anyway I love your story and applaud you. Thanks❤

[@roygeorge5364]

It's okay for you to do what you need to do now. It sounds like you and your partner were supportive and loving and had great communication. You are not disrespecting her or her memory by being you. I would say the universe set it up perfectly - you had a loving partner who has sadly passed, but you have time left to explore you. Good luck and much love to you. 🧡

[@rysonsynic]

Don't know if you or anyone sees this, but you lived and you're alive and you can if you want to now.

[@whitneybennett4980]

I feel like your videos have truly opened my heart and changed my perspective, thank you for sharing! I also used to be Mormon, but fortunately for me, my story was different because I got to choose that path and it only lasted a short time (16-18). However, because of that experience, I feel like I was able to be more open-minded to hear your story and I am grateful for that.

[@mosaic.owl.studios]

The first work I saw of yours was your "why we left the LDS church" video. When you showed your artwork, I knew you were a special person ❤❤ it is so lovely to see you living as your authentic self and loving who you are!

[@susanrnbc]

Thrilled to see Skylar there supporting you at the pride parade. And the idea that being stuck in a static place is where suffering comes from really resonates with me. I grew up in a very strict conservative Christian home where everything was black and white and there was no room for questioning or change. I am nearly 72 years old and the biggest changes in how I believe have happened in the last 15 years. I am completely different than I was then-I’ve become a liberal, progressive Christian who believes we are ALL created in God’s image, and that we are ALL worthy of God’s love. I’ve found a church where I can practice my beliefs and where ALL people are welcomed, accepted and included. Our church vice president is a younger gay woman. She is soon to marry her partner in our church. Our little church is growing ever since we “came out” as accepting and including the LGBTQ+ community. It is an exciting time and gives me hope for the future in the middle of so much worldly ignorance and fear. Thank you for sharing. It takes so much strength and courage to do what you are both doing.

[@The_One_and_Only996]

So happy to see your brother there supporting you. I’m glad you are getting to be yourself and it makes me happy to see your partner and other family members giving you support!

[@afullchalicevlogs7979]

Me too! Family support is SO important!

[@readycool9600]

I agree 100% but don’t understand his ex’s shallow mind. It had nothing to do with her personally other than her appearance. Skyler is such a great guy he will have no problem finding another person who is more open minded.

[@joanasoares8674]

seeing his brother supporting him made this even more beautiful, i am so glad so so glad

[@janetrojas8939]

that support cost him his marriage so glad he chose his family

[@Undeniably_Me]

My MUA for my wedding was a trans woman, & she was so afraid of backlash that she didn't want to come into the sanctuary of the church for the ceremony, and I had to nearly BEG her to at least come in afterward for pictures. Nobody was rude or standoffish toward her, but she was very weary of ppl's intentions. Her anxiety got the best of her, and she did leave shortly after dinner was served. That was close to 10 yrs ago now, and she's much more confident. I've loved watching her bloom!

[@AlishaBaxla-c4c]

As a man he was extremely charming. As a woman she's extremely breathtakingly beautiful. God loves shaye❤

[@angiepangie989]

I'm here for the positive message and warm fuzzy feeling, but I'm staying for the high quality production you put into these videos

[@sheilagreer7193]

I really don't understand all of this, It's all new I admire you for standing by him , but how will all this work on your being together, together this has to be taking a toll on that area . Just saying! Will you stand by him after everything is done and still be his wife or will you just be parents to the children and become friends! How will he feel about that if that happens , will he support u then ? If you find another partner to share your life with. Have you two thought about your future in all this ? Will you be able to stay with him when he because a complete women, will you need more than he can give you when that happens. How will all that effect the kids! They are the ones going to be going through this also, they are still young and will have to endure a lot in the future, just saying. No means am I'm saying don't do this even though I don't believe in all this,but this is your journey nor mine to live ! I just wonder if you have thought how this is really going to effect your wife and kids when all is said and done. Are you going to expect her to give up her life to be with someone who can give her what she might need. Physical that you want be able to give her any more! Will you be able to let her go to live her life and just be friends if it comes to that !

[@valarya]

Seeing Skylar wearing a trans flag made me burst in to the happiest tears. I'm so thankful for any trans man or woman who has family and friends to hold them safe. YES YES YES 😘😘

[@Deutschie]

@Skyler Shae Scott So happy to see that your brother Skyler is there for you. You two must be very close indeed.

[@twinzzplusonecanada5499]

I had the exact same thought. ❤

[@guilhemraynard8875]

Vin bujbjbbbbbjbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbubbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbjbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb bbb bbbbbb

[@guilhemraynard8875]

@skylershaescott bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbpbbbbbbbb bbbbbbb

[@heathercschafer]

Skyler is awesome!!!

[@jennacarroll9200]

I think you're so strong for following where your soul led you. Many people will never know the freedom you're experiencing.

[@lottenliden2862]

It is very brave of you to share this with everyone. I saw comments like “kids will be traumatized” and I thought yes, but not from the transition, but from people’s bad reactions towards your family. I have questions of a more practical nature: How does one finance a transition like this in a country like USA, where nothing seems to be covered by public health care? It must be very expensive?

[@rebecca2930]

You each have given each other the shots of therapy of one form or another to reach the ultimate goal. Good for you.❤

[@sparky955]

Amanda & Shaye: from the heart of a 66 year old widow…love is love. God CONTINUE to bless & keep you & your family. Walk in love & peace.

[@kell6092]

I came across your instagram a few weeks ago and have been watching all your videos and learning so much about your family. I have to say… wow. What a beautiful life you have. Such a wonderful loving family and it’s so so beautiful to see!! ❤ the authenticity is so admirable

[@natashak3387]

I am so happy that this channel popped up on my feed. I have huge respect for you both. I thought of my church I have been going to for almost ten years. My church's famous statement is we are a movement for ALL people. I know many that are either gay, lesbian, trans, etc. I love them all so very much! They want to feel excepted just like anyone else. I LOVE all people, even you!

[@lauracornwell9129]

I began my journey with two good friends to help me. One of these was Chloe. She passed coming up on one year ago. My other friend, my partner, lover, and husband has walked this path with me. You're well on your way. Hold your head up. You have such amazing support and love!

[@caroleasswad7824]

Are you still a couple and staying together as that and family? I invite you to share that part please I love your support for eachother, it s Beautiful . You are extraordinary!👍🫶🏻

[@lauracornwell9129]

Hi Carole. Bill and I are still happily married. I couldn't ask for a more loving and supportive partner. Chloe lived with us. She was an amazing person as well. She suffered from heart disease and finally Parkinson disease, which was related to Agent Orange exposure in the jungles of Vietnam. She was a medic and a nurse for forty years. With only one sister who cared about her, the rest of her family did not accept her transition. So, the three of us became a family. Chloe passed quietly in her bed. I thought she was asleep when I discovered she had gone on to her next journey. It was such a privilege to offer her peace and sanctuary. Her most feared concern was to die alone in a hospital, as she had seen so many lonely people pass in her career. So, Bill and I journey on together. As a person who transitioned later in life, having a supportive partner and best friend couldn't have been any better. We also attended a Unitarian Universalist congregation in Frederick, Maryland. I cannot begin to tell you how grateful we were to find such a good group of people that cared so much.

[@Brian.8272]

Her wife is amazing

[@deanna8154]

This video is such a gem! I have celebrated the milestones along the way with Shaye and Amanda and treasure the extraordinary qualities in the telling of this evolving story. I love Shayes' insight about the final destination being an illusion. This is truth for everyone, I'm sure. Authenticity is key! ❤❤❤

[@IxiaRayne]

This had me bawling my eyes out. I’m so so thankful for you sharing your story with us and being so open and vulnerable. I’m so happy you’re feeling more free to be authentically you, Shaye. Love. That is it. Love above all. Just love people. ♥️

[@graceochieng8900]

She looks younger now then she did before! Incredible. If I’d walked past her as a man, I never would have guessed about the turmoil she was experiencing within herself. Good wife for being supportive bc I don’t think I’d be able to accept it, I would have to leave the relationship.

[@Sentientmatter8]

We call that the transgender fountain of youth 😁

[@lauren-thomas]

that's one of the benefits of going through puberty again. I've seen people look 20 years younger after a year of HRT.

[@UteGoldkuhle]

Remarkable! I am new to following your journey! Oh, how you have and will help so many who can relate to your struggle, who never understood, who were buried in ignorance, . . . You both represent a level of love not many ever reach! ❤

[@martaya7863]

Why do you decide to do transition? It's difficult to understand after 17 years of marriage and with three kids, you decided to make this decision. When do you start to feel that you were in the wrong body? Thank you so much

[@Justine-ut8ho]

Just discovered your channel and it’s so amazing to see her confidence and peace a year later. I know some partners can’t stay for the transition and I honor that. But, I’m so glad you gals have made it through so well. And to have gotten through high demand religion to self actualization intact is a miracle in itself. You guys are so so so lucky. Praying all those who can’t reconcile their Faith with their true selves knows God truly loves them and will guide them through becoming self actualized.

[@UNOmasUNO1]

I Watch some of your videos and I like the fact of you guys not pushing others to believe in terms of transgender ideology, i do have so much respect for people like you guys as long they don’t tell me how to pronounce he, she, they, them.

[@colettetrammell3768]

I totally respect Shayes decision to take steps to transform himself but I do have deep concerns with parents taking their young children to do this! I’ve heard alarming things about young adults wishing they hadn’t transitioned so young and state they really wish they would of waited to see if that is indeed what they wanted to do! I’ve also heard schools in some states will take children away from their parents if they don’t allow their child to take steps to transition! Also, I do not think it’s fair for men that have transitioned to a woman to participate in women’s sports, also vice versa . No hate here from me at all. I truly believe we should learn and better understand each other but would love your thoughts.

[@rondaborgert5170]

I love your relationship ❤️ ♥️ I have a 27 year old Transgender daughter, so I can relate to a lot of what you have shared. You both are beautiful and kind, and I wish you both so much success going forward. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@juliaross7841]

So much courage you have, and your family and children. Bless you and Amanda!

[@Ojo10]

I'm so happy for you, hearing your story on Mormon Stories Podcast touched me and educated me, on just how harmful implicitly shaming gender diverse expression in children can be. I am so excited for you, to discover who you are, and to start living as your most authentic self. As a past religious ex-transphobic person, who is deconstructing, your journey is so inspiring and educational to me, and I want you to know that you have my full support. ❤

[@Rose-pq9df]

which episode of the podcast is it??

[@daisymay271]

May I ask, what piano piece was played in the beginning of this video?

[@CCM8817]

Because it's beautiful

[@AWDTH1111]

I am curious as to how you came to the conclusion that you are supposed to be a woman or where the line between feminine men and trans woman are. I am a 30 year old man. But I have long chin length hair with bangs, I wear makeup, more flowy and feminine clothes and female styles and shaved all over including my face. Yet I know I’m a man, am attracted to women. I am merely sensitive, emotionally aware, love beauty, aesthetics and feeling cute. I am aware that I am not what is considered a “normal or stereotypical” man by society. It’s annoying because society doesn’t cater much to men like me unless they consider me gay which to many’s surprise, I am not. What is the line between the two? Anyway just curious and want to be open minded and mean all love and respect to you and your journey!

[@GreatScotts]

Amanda here, 👋 I don’t think there is a line. I think there’s lots of shades of gray. People use language to describe different experiences. Some men like you might call themselves gender queer. I’m not sure if you align with that descriptor or not. Shaye isn’t calling herself a woman, but is taking steps to show up more femininely. The same thing with pronouns. I use “she” because it feels right to me, but she doesn’t expect that of everyone. I think a lot of people get caught up on the semantics of the transgender movement but what we’re really talking about is just individualized human experience. There’s so much diversity in the transgender community, and so many ways that people express their gender differently. Thanks for telling us a bit about you and your experiences. Wishing you the best!

[@AWDTH1111]

@@GreatScotts Thank you for taking the time to reply and the insight in it. I find it interesting that Shaye doesn’t seem to definitively have a label as a woman but just expressing what is culturally seen as feminine along with what personal characteristics are defined as feminine in constructs as well. I’m very curious to see where the road takes you two and the deeper insight others can glean from in their own lives including myself!

[@sarab8332]

@@GreatScotts Everybody falls different on the spectrum pole, you have binary and non-binary people. No two transitions are alike, we just need to be ourselves.

[@annapuhl6889]

okay classic girlhood experience she got her ears pierced at claire’s!

[@hi333330]

I can't stop watching your videos. You guys are absolutly great !

[@5280Recreation]

Live your best life you two, you only get one!

[@sophiatheisen565]

shaye you look absolutely gorgeous! you are literally aging backwards and you look so happy and healthy! amanda, i admire you . i imagine this was equally as hard on you and you are handling it with such grace and love. you two are such an amazing couple and i’m so excited to watch this journey ❤️

[@maryhazlett]

I watched this thinking Shay is gorgeous!

[@traciesoliday2746]

Been following you guys from the beginning of your KZbin journey, and am completely in awe of your bravery to share your story, your infinite love and support for each other, and for you vulnerability to be so open. My hopes for you is that you stay mentally strong as you navigate these new waters. There is light at the end. Shay, now that you have opened to you truth, don't ever feel the need to hide your thoughts and feelings. Continue to always communicate your feelings. Your journey will be one with an amazing reward. You are worthy of everything loving and kind. ❤ Much love and blessings 🙌

[@TERESACOLLINSSTUDIO]

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU BOTH. I LEFT THE MORMON CHURCH IS LAST YEAR. AFTER 37 YEARS I COULD NO LONGER "IGNORE" THE CULTURE AND PHOBIA AND JUDGMENT. I CAME ACROSS YOUR VIDEO AND FAMILY WHEN I WAS THINKING ABOUT "WALKING AWAY." I wish I could tell you how much I admire and support you.

[@SamanthaPearson]

Shaye & Amanda, thank you for another generous look into your lives..this video was so insightful. I've been he/sir/young manned, so often. I don't take offence to it. Partly because I know people are just responding to what they're hearing or seeing. Although I've been transitioning since 2015 I'm still 6ft 1in with broad shoulders, & a deeper voice than I might like - although I am working on the voice - so I can't blame someone for their initial natural reaction to me. I realise that this is an older video but still, congratulations on getting your ears pierced, shaye. They look lovely 🙂. I got my own pierced in December of last year, after a friend recommended it. I too was a tad nervous, beforehand. But I was pleasantly surprised by the ease & speed at which they were done. I barely felt a thing, & I love my little studs (lol). Your hair transplant looks fantastic! I had mine done in London, last year. There were three procedures in total (6200 follicles). It was pricey, but so worth it! there are times when I think if I should have gone to Turkiye instead (with regard to cost), but I am still so happy with the results. My hair hasn't been this long since my late teens! (lol). With my facial hair removal, I started with Electrolysis, then when my local practitioner got quite busy after the covid lockdowns, I switched to Laser hair removal. Now (when able), I do both. Laser is definitely the less painful option...Electrolysis can be something of an endurance test, at times! (lol). But I can't really complain that much, I'm just so happy with the results so far 🙂. I've been on Estradiol for about 6 years, & I'm so happy with not only the physical changes, but also the psychological ones. I feel like I'm on a much more even keel now..more centered, like you said 🙂. Because I've never really been a fan of needles, & my doctor was concerned that the patches would aggravate skin (Eczema), I was put on the gel. I'm up to 4mg a day..I've also been having decapeptyl (testosterone suppressor) injections every three months for about the past year or so. This has been in preparation for my future surgery. With regards to future surgeries. I've been referred to a London Hospital. Going by the letter I received, I'm hoping that my GRS will be no later than sometime in the middle of next year. I do intend to get FFS, after I've paid off the loan for my hair transplant. I'm hoping to remove..or at the very least diminish these male facial traits. I've seen a number of before & after videos, & I'm hopeful 🙂. Shaye, your family is truly wonderful. If you hadn't already done it years ago I would end this comment by (respectfully) saying marry that women, marry that women right now! (lol). Amanda I love your sense of humour at the end of this. If I may say so - & again, with the greatest respect - you two are just the perfect fit. Best wishes to the whole family 🙂.

[@ccannon1857]

I can honestly say I don’t pretend to understand anything about a transgenders life journey. Although, I am very very impressed with the commitment you two have for each other. It’s about respect and kindness. We don’t need to understand. But we do need to lead with kindness. You guys have always been so genuine and kind in journey.

[@renaissancewoman3770]

Your sense of humour with each other is so funny. Thank you for sharing.

[@RobynsGrrls]

What a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing it. You and Amanda are simply amazing... You are very lucky, Shaye. I totally get your nervousness at times, but you do seem so settled, so at peace in most of your videos. Amanda is your cornerstone, not everyone is blessed as you are. Sending hugs to both of you!!

[@nissutobor9078]

As you said, my biggest fear was that my wife would leave me, and my parents would disown me. Unfortunately, that is what happened. Sometimes anxiety is there for a reason. But despite that, I know that I had to do this to save myself, and I would do it again, even knowing the immeasurable pain of loss I felt. I can only imagine how if must feel, to be able to share this journey with someone you love that deeply. I think transition itself is a beautiful thing. We come to know, and love ourselves on a much deeper level. But to be able to share such a journey with someone you love... I can only imagine how much closer you must feel as a result.

[@umatr2me656]

So awesome! Just be who you are. What a freaking concept, and why not! Beautiful!

[@Userr608]

Amanda is one in a million because I could not stick by my man if he transitioned 😭 and to be honest you guys are in my opinion are the definition on Gods love because gods love is unconditional it’s still there even when we are sin. I hope to one day love like this. It’s beautiful and more moving than any religion.

[@GreatScotts]

Thank you for the kind words, Annika. I actually have several good friends I’ve met through this process whose partners are going through similar journeys, and they are staying with their partners as well. I have met others who decide not to stay with their partners through transition and that is a valid path as well. In the case of Shaye and I, we both wanted more than anything was to stay together, so this works well for us.

[@soapqueen2008]

​@GreatScotti think I could handle it I used to think I couldn't but if you love someone I could never bring myself to leave some I'm in love with period

[@maryanntownsend2889]

Amanda please make a video showing us how you explained Shay’s transition to your children. I don’t understand but will,respect Shay’s decision. Amanda,you are an incredible person and the best to you Shay.

[@anissachard]

Thank you for these videos. I am also a wife of someone who has transitioned. We are also LDS. This has helped me so much. ❤

[@sarab8332]

Are you still members of the church and how has that gone.

[@letitiakearney2423]

The church doesn’t recognise transgender people and gay men have to stay celibate.

[@kristenkaz3080]

Shae’s partner/wife is an amazing woman to go through her own transition in this process.

[@froggreen2067]

I hear her being bossy and forceful.

[@kristenkaz3080]

@@froggreen2067 I guess I hadn’t thought of her that way. I was thinking she was just affirming her partner’s way of thinking. But I can see now why you’d think that. Interesting.

[@ohnoyoudidnt9452]

Seeing some of the meanest comments. Damn they are Happy together! Lucky to have each other! More happy then I’ve seen “normal” couples. Sux some can be so hateful

[@louern123]

this is one of the best videos , maybe THE best , of the 350 channels i’ve been subscribed to, for 16 years . ❤

[@kristengilliam-coomber8457]

Thank-you so much for sharing this journey, it really helps us on the outside understand better. Your relationship with your partner is truly remarkable and inspiring.

[@EvanLuke3]

I am so blown away at your bravery. My son came to my husband and myself just a few weeks ago and told us that he feels like a girl. There have been so many emotions since that moment. When you are pregnant and then give birth you never imagine that one day your child might say, “I want to be the opposite sex.” Your video was so open and honest. I was sad when it ended because I wanted to know the next steps. It’s true that life is all about change. I don’t want to lose him. I want our relationship to stay strong. I cannot thank you enough for making this video. It shows the real, raw life. Maybe people don’t want to see that but I find it beautiful. Your love between the two of you is beautiful. Please, if you feel comfortable please share your journey. I will be on my own journey myself. All the best to you and your family. 😘❤️😘❤️

[@elliotelephants60]

Hi, I know I’m not exactly who this was written to, but I’m a trans young adult who has worked some with parents of trans kids and I actually have a playlist for parents (and for other groups) of videos that may be helpful if you want to look at it. I’m sending my love

[@missnaomi613]

Fellow parent of trans beans here. I don't know how old your kiddo is, but mine are all grown. (19, 22 and 25.) My 25 year old came out as trans when they were 20, and realized they were non-binary about a year(?) after that. And I'm super excited that my 19 year old has recently given me permission to tell the world what we've known for about 3 years now, which is that she's a girl. Life is full of surprises, and it's our (responsibility and) honor to stand by our kids as they face the challenges on their respective paths. Wishing your family all the best as you navigate new territory. 🙏❤🏳‍⚧

[@erindowling8540]

@@missnaomi613 I am confused. You said “they” then you talked about a 19 year old and a 25 year old. Are they both trans?

[@sarab8332]

It takes a lot of bravery to come out of the closet. It took a lot for your son to tell your husband and you that he feels like a girl. He is reaching out to both of you for help. Gender is between the ears and the person knows what gender they should be. Make sure you communicate well with your child and support your child. Depending on his age, you will need to put a transition plan, therapy, hormones, surgeries, ect.. Embrace and love your child.

[@Sweepdog700]

Transitioned from f to m age 23. I'm now 55. Best thing I ever did. Couldn't live a lie anymore. Back then no one knew anything much about this. So much easier today. Or is it, with all the horrid hatred against us. I guess this will change in time. What an amazing family you have. Your wife is the best. You will need all the support you can get. It's a bumpy journey but one you have no choice but to take for your own sanity. Stay strong much love.

[@Authenticwings]

Hi there, I just want to say I know it’s hard, but it’s worth it! I too was raised Mormon, and most all of my family still is. My mother passed away before I transitioned, but my father knew before his death. I too never thought this would happen but I am so glad it finally did. MTF, transition. I know exactly what the masks are, the lack of identity, the lack of hope and never being comfortable with myself, ever! My partner and I still remain together (he is a gay man); but we have learned that love transcends our bodies, and the physical appearances. He is my partner in every way, and he has helped me to create a very wonderful life. I transitioned 2 years ago in July. I know what the electrolysis is like…OMG!!! I did learn that not everyone is good at it, so you need to search for someone who is really good (they are worth the money). My body surprised me, and it changed in so many ways that I could not imagine. I am glad. You guys are here…keep telling your story, it is actually not an uncommon one!

[@Wendys_lovinglife]

This is my first video I have watched on your channel and I am absolutely in awe of how loving and supportive you are of one another. I don't know your names yet because this is my first video of yours - it is heartwarming to see how loving and supportive the wife is of the husband (I'll learn your names I promise). Thank you for being so brave to share this journey and thank you for sharing what true love and compassion is.

[@laurasmile93]

Oh my gosh, I've been enamored by your story and your channel, but it is just now that I found out that you are a pianist, Shaye!!!

[@littlebitmckee8234]

I know this sounds so superficial - but your husband was so handsome. Do you miss him looking like this? I know you are obviously happy that he is finally comfortable in his skin, but do you miss seeing him like this?

[@SPerez-x6m]

Even more superficial how do feel that your husband now your wife is better looking than you?

[@peachxtaehyung]

*she she has transitioned so she/her now. So how about don't be misgendering

[@lorettajones6120]

Shaye and your precious partner I am here from your brothers channel. My heart goes out to you and EVERYONE that is trans or gay...as a Christ believer I must show grace...cause at 73 I have needed grace a lot. My son is gay and he went thru crap...Just love him and his husband more than you can imagine.

[@SJPLilac]

I love what you are teaching your children. They're not just learning tolerance, but they are actively embracing the journey along with you. Your wife is so awesome!!!

[@lizhoward9754]

When you said “have you talked to a transgender person” really hit home for me. I met and became friends with a trans person back in the early 1990s. I learned sooo much from her. Prior to meeting her, I just thought transgender was some really weird thing that didn’t make sense. Boy was I wrong. My friend was a cross dresser “macho” guy who was a married doctor attracted to women. She paid an ENORMOUS price to shed this male self. She lost her marriage and license to practice medicine…remember this was the early 1990s. Anyway, I learned everything from my friend of 30 years ago.

[@DS-zo8xs]

How are they doing now?

[@tuimasitawake]

I am so proud of the beautiful friendship and support that you have for each and above all for the most beautiful gifts that you have been blessed with - your beautiful children. That you all going through this transition together is just so beautiful to watch. Much love and admiration.

[@afullchalicevlogs7979]

The piano in the intro is STUNNING. I’m so proud that you can be your authentic self and you are very brave.

[@robertbodek4473]

I understand how you feel. I’m 65 now and been pretending to be someone that everyone sees me. I never liked myself for so many years till now. Antidepressants and HRT has made me feel more of who I am inside, and actually like who I am. I can’t transition but if can deal with myself as being trans, hopefully I can enjoy the rest of what life I have left. Follow your dreams and be who you are. You have more support than you realize. Be happy as you!

[@Ljubica-x4o]

I definitely couldn't handle my partner coming out. good luck to you , Amanda. Hope everything goes well for you. and your children. For some reason, I feel sad for Amanda.

[@Anshika1826-z8u]

The person she loved never existed😢

[@Ljubica-x4o]

@@Anshika1826-z8u Sad but true.

[@gingersnapppp]

"this idea of arriving somewhere with self is an illusion" wow yes

[@CathainSeo]

At 5;04 is so true, not requiring other to validate one is the route to contentment.

[@suzannefernandes5510]

Oh I'm so glad your videos popped up on my recomendations. You guys are beautiful in every way I can't think of. Thank you for sharing your experiences and conversations with us!

[@DenaInWyo]

This has got to be the most pure kind of love. It transcends roles, expectations, and is completely unconditional. The two of you are so incredibly lucky. True soulmates.

[@cheykath]

I am grateful for this video. Thank you for sharing your story. Have I ever talked with a trans person about their journey? No, and I have never understood it. Which is why videos like this are needed. I think we all need to learn to listen when someone tells you who they are. Blessings to you. ❤

[@colleenrieger9538]

Thankful for you❣️Happy you can now be who you are. Wishing you a journey of continued love and truth. Sending love to all ❣️🦋

[@BENDITAABUELA888]

ITS A HARD WAY TO UNDERSTAND!!! BUT ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY WHEN THEY DONT WANT TO UNDERSTAND!!! ALL THE BEST IN UR TRANSITION LIFE!! ITS AMAZING U HAVE SOMEONE WHO SUPPORT U BECAUSE OUT THERE MANY PEOPLE CALL US CRAZY OR CONFUSED OR PERVERT AND SOME FAMILY AND FRIENDS KICK US OUT OF THEM LIFE!! N BEING LONELY ITS HARDER THAN ANYTHING BUT GOD IS ALWAYS GOOD IF WE HEAR FROM THE HEART ❤️

[@rathishmenon]

Transgender individuals deserve respect and support in their journey towards self-discovery and self-expression. Let's celebrate diversity and embrace everyone for who they truly are.

[@aliciakillen1940]

Interesting. He definitely married the perfect person for this, I don’t think I could have been that open. He still seems sad to me, hopefully as all the painful procedures come to an end, his happiness will blossom. Stay safe as right now there is a lot of hate out there for trans people. Maybe you could make a video about that fear and loss of rights. I don’t fully understand this journey, but I don’t have to. You just have to let people live their own lives. Scary times right now.

[@Pcarleton03]

Shaye, you are worthy of all the love in this world. You have a beautiful heart and soul and I wish you so much love, peace snd happiness for who you have always been Shaye!!❤ from 🇨🇦

[@CarolHensley-v7f]

It's hard for people in general to accept others at face value anymore. Standards are so unrealistic. People eork against each other instead of being supportive. Good to see you seem to have each others backs.