My V12 BMW 7 Series is dead…

[@DerKaktusAvant]

As a mechanic myself, it pains me when people aimlessly replace things. The battery not holding charge was an obvious indication, was a good test to do. Props to you. While it pains me to see people replacing things randomly, I love seeing people working and fixing their cars them-self. Good for you pal - loving the content, keep it up!

[@itsjoel]

Appreciate that, thanks you. As a mechanic may I ask, is it essential that I have the new battery coded?

[@meer-cha4985]

@@itsjoel you only need it coded if the amps on the new battery differ from the old one. also check the alternator as that much discharge isn't normal for a battery if it was fine some weeks ago

[@DerKaktusAvant]

@@itsjoel Yes, I would definitely get it coded. With newer cars it is much more important to do it asap, but with this old bm it’s not a necessity to do it straight away. (Still get it done though!!) personally, I wouldn’t leave it more than a week.

[@DerKaktusAvant]

@@meer-cha4985 doubt there is an issue with the alternator (start the engine, you should get around 13.5 or above) More likely a drain, however battery’s can just sh*t themselves eventually.

[@trevorphillips3055]

@@itsjoel can you code it yourself using carly?

[@hobgoblinoftruth5815]

That Merc is such a looker for the money…There’s so much satisfaction to be had from old cars that cost a fortune initially and still look pretty…. All your cars are like that pleasurable and not inordinately expensive the Porsche she’s lovely too🙂🙂🙂

[@boltonsbulldogs8628]

Could not Agree more !. Ive got a Merc CL500 beautiful car all the toys but 17 years old . Been kept fanatically , but more to the point id never ever would of been able to afford them when new , but very affordable now and still looks stunning sounds amazing v8 mercedes refined and made.

[@hobgoblinoftruth5815]

@@boltonsbulldogs8628 Thats great to hear you do indeed have a beautiful car, I hope it brings you many more years of pleasure 😊😊

[@matthewwatson4970]

I could almost here Jeremy Clarkson saying "I did a thing!" As the 760 roared into life. Nice one

[@itsjoel]

Hahahaha

[@kidcowdy1231]

Make sure you go into coding and code in your new battery. The ecu needs to know what battery is in it so it doesn't over charge

[@andyday60]

Congrats on fixing something Joel! :-D Always a good feeling, no matter how big or small the fix ;)

[@itsjoel]

Thank you, agreed!

[@edwintan6068]

Oh yeah totally agree

[@mercsls6587]

Gotta say I like the Mercedes CLK best of your bunch, something so timeless about the design and it reminds me of the legendary CLK GTR

[@bobik123loll]

Good day Joel, I hope you see my message. I really got hooked up with your channel by the bmw content and I was so sad to figure out that it has been given away from you. Me and my friends we really love to see you working with the Bmw. Please return back some beast content! Sincerely your fans from Denmark 🤟🤟🤟

[@Scuderia2000HD]

I know with the more modern stuff BMW’s should not be charged directly to the battery, instead use the points under the bonnet. Might be worth seeing if the 760 has these too

[@frogfoot6218]

not only did the merc get you home its now helping to fix the fleet...... AAclass merc

[@danielkemp87]

No that’s the Mercedes key. No that’s the Porsche key. Where the BMW key. 😂😂 cracked me up that bit. Keep going Joel. Great channel 👍

[@NZBRG1]

I know that feeling Joel. "YES, I've fixed something myself!!" Awesome.

[@AJ-yw5zy]

Leave the jumper cables on, then place the charger onto the duff battery, it will trick the charger to charge.

[@TomNbk]

Yep had this before and saved a battery on my DB9 V12 the trickle is struggling because of the sheer amount of charge it needs.. sold the car but that battery still going fine to this day as far as I know after doing the above

[@bulldogsnbunniesUK]

She’s alive! Hurrah! 😀 Love that Porsche - I’d love to see your dad having a drive of it, and his thoughts on it versus the Z4.

[@itsjoel]

Good idea!

[@jayAsparks]

I can feel how happy you are with this fix 👍. It gives you such satisfaction when fixing car problems yourself when you realise how much money you save. You should do more diy fixing videos. Working on cars isn't actually hard just having the correct tools a cool head and KZbin videos for help you can save £1000s

[@shaydevlin5557]

You changing a battery reminded me of when Jeremy Clarkson changed a bulb on a Porsche 944 and was amazed

[@itsjoel]

Hahaha. It’s the little things that please me

[@DavidJohnston58]

Ya Beemah is my favourite, I do love barges, bloody comfortable, weird though I'm becoming attracted to that Merc, It will look the mutt's with the valet and a bit of paint done, a class road trip chariot for sure.

[@ImpalasMine1967]

Make sure you take it to the guys at the garage and “register” the new battery!! Did this on mine, helps the electronics and charging system operate correctly. Shouldn’t cost anything really

[@PRAGEETHKARUNADHEERA]

I had the back pain as long as I could remember when working on my car. It completely went away once I started getting good exercise - jogging.

[@ChristianThomasTring]

Costco for cheap Bosch batteries. - You need to raise the tickover on the donor car to get the voltage up. - The BM may well just say no at 11.7v

[@newbeginnings8566]

If you want to make big inroads in vidlogs like these.. You need: 1. Battery health, alternator checker 2. A quality booster 3. Several trickle chargers You need to purchase quality items... Count £300 all in... Then you can keep the batteries in shape and verify their lifespan. Keep them charged correctly. Get a booster to start vehicles without going down jump leads.. Safer and better... I always try to purchase a bigger CCA battery with the existing dimensions if possible... BMW especially don't like old batteries.. The vehicle is plagued with error messages if the battery is old (60% or less life remaining)....

[@DerKaktusAvant]

Just wondering why you even bothered with the seatbelt when reversing the merc haha.

[@paintgangltd5805]

Haha same, its because he will likely get some haters if he didn't

[@itsjoel]

I was literally thinking that when I edited the video 😂

[@paintgangltd5805]

@@itsjoel Haha, love the channel man, believe it or not I am 16 and already on my 4th car, 1st was a 1986 mercedes 23E, 2nd was a 2005 freelander, 3rd was a 2005 jaguar x-type, now got a 2007 fiesta which i love and think i will keep to learn to drive in, but im going to keep looking for another interesting car. Im from scotland by the way and your content inspires me so much, and its great you are sharing your love for cars. Thanks, Fin

[@karldomingo8652]

Muscle memory I believe.

[@Gobbbbb]

Good habit at least!

[@chriskingston4256]

grab yourself a NOCO GB70 - it will start ANYTHING thats flat..... I use mine day in day out and its never struggled to start anything 12v yet, even heavy machinery etc The 13v is only showing because it is the voltage from the running vehicle (merc in this case) - So when you try to start the BMW with that connected, it is trying to draw all its power through the jump cables and they are not enough to get it going.

[@markwgoldsmith]

Good fix, well done - not sure if it's already mentioned, but the small grey pipe should be plugged into a hole somewhere on the battery - it's the gas vent pipe, it vents outside the car, otherwise the battery is venting into the boot.

[@НемаштијаиБеспаќе]

When boosting w/another car's battery, always boost from battery to battery, since you'll have the most stable voltage & current running to the car you are trying to start (also, the shorter the jumper cables, the better). Also don't forget to measure whether the bmw's alternator is charging your new battery, as it might be the initial fault why your previous battery has failed.

[@thedivisiondoctor5895]

Yes a broken cable can be expensive!!

[@delos86]

To check if alternator works fine just check battery voltage on running engine. It should be 14.4V-14.8V

[@itsjoel]

I would ordinarily do that, although the manual in the car says not to jump directly to the battery, but to use the boosters

[@antonpoddubnov4651]

Don’t suggest something like that if you don’t know for sure. BMW manual states that you should newer jump the car battery to battery for a reason.

[@matejkudlac]

From my experience (several starts of car with dead battery in the cold) I would rather try not going this way, but: connecting both cables on battery terminals in running (donor) car, positive cable to positive battery terminal in dead car, negative cable directly to the engine of dead car (not negative battery terminal), either for example alternator tensioner/bracket or engine block/mount directly to make sure the electrical connection is created. This way you don´t waste your time reviving already dead battery, but you use maximum of available power to start the car directly. When the car´s running, then it can recharge the battery on its own. Hope I explained this method enough 😃

[@sirpeepsalot1]

Can't lie, I actually cheered when the car started, even though I suspected the battery. I was so happy for you !

[@ianpengilley5160]

Nice work, mate - as an X5 4.8iS owner I've been through quite a few batteries, and I know what you mean about pulling your back! I hit the subscribe button as you're a good fella and the vids are really enjoyable. Power to you ;)

[@antiochiaadtaurum3786]

I bought a trickle charger from Aldi for about 15 quid. Also bought a battery starter with connectable cables, which is a much safer way to start a BMW (less chance of screwing up electrics etc. Nonetheless, I'm glad you have now started to attempt to fix stuff on your cars.

[@spence2403]

Once a battery drops below 10v its usually shagged mate

[@TheJordanwaterhouse]

Well done Joel, but you've fixed a symptom of the problem. not the problem. You need to investigate as to why the battery had gone flat. The multimeter will read 11.7 - 13v when its attached to a running car, as you're measuring the voltage of the known good battery in the CLK, not the dead one. The dead battery will have got the 7 series started again if you'd have left the CLK attached to it running for 30 mins or so, or if you had someone hold the revs on the CLK at 3k or so whilst trying to start the 7. The old battery from the 7 is not completely useless either, it just needs to be have a higher current stored before the trickle charger will recondition it. Did you measure the alternator output voltage when you got the 7 going again with the new battery? It sounds like the alternator could be the problem. Loving the videos and keep up the good work! Jordan

[@realmusicreallife]

Sometimes cells can just drop in old battery's

[@ianjenkins4641]

Safety first. Putting your seatbelt on to reverse off you drive and back on might be taking it a bit far 👍

[@denisbasegmez]

Everyone‘s worried about coding - I reckon, you check on the battery ventilation once more, as to the video you didn‘t remove the transportation pin on the battery ventilation and the hose remains unconnected within the spare wheel well. Double check to let the battery breath during charging (driving) properly…

[@wellybobs4403]

It makes me smile to hear you so happy when you fixed it. In the future I would take the old battery with you and they will test it and dispose safely if necessary.

[@farturinn]

Dont forget to regrister the battery in the ECU, also I hope you got an AGM battery?

[@AzanAli-]

One little tip for you. Never wear anything made the of metal on your arms or hands when working with electronics. You never know when you'll short something.

[@UOO303T]

Yes tell me about it! My back was damaged in 1988 and it plays me up daily

[@daveyrayner]

Nice one. I know the codes cleared but I would have checked the alternator was charging ok. Battery would be approx 12 volts engine off and 13.5 to 14 volts engine running.

[@PRAGEETHKARUNADHEERA]

You should check if the alternator / charge controller is functioning optimally. That is one of the main causes of batteries to fail.

[@miltyhamps]

just check what volts going in the battery when engine is running,it just makes sure your alternater is working it should read between 13.5 to 15v going back in the battery, good luck Joel

[@karldomingo8652]

When your watch is worth more than the cars you own, this man is a true investment watch collector 👍

[@speelmeneer6404]

Oh boy do I hate the term investment watch... they should be worn and enjoyed. His watch though is most likely a fake. There’s a huge gap between the end links and the other links and the dial looks rather off.

[@LewWise87]

Lol it's not a Rolex Root Beer..

[@speelmeneer6404]

@@LewWise87 in fact, I believe (am pretty sure) it’s a fake

[@LewWise87]

@@speelmeneer6404 Either that or a Pagani or another (Insert brand sold on Amazon). I know he has a two tone Invicta Pro Diver. Not bashing his watches as not everyone is proper into them. But he definitely does fool a lot of viewers with very little watch knowledge!

[@Sebo00o]

its most likely an invicta pro diver root beer. at 10:59 i think you can see the invicta logo if you zoom all the way in.

[@AGDJ79]

Welcome to E65 ownership. Had the same issues. First off please replace your battery. Secondly get someone with a laptop and with cable and ISTA, or access to the OBD2 software and tell the car you have a new battery. You'll find 90% of your problems will go away. You don't need an AGM battery and you can pick up batteries for the 70 to 90 quid mark. Might be worth looking at your alternator other than starter motor to see if it's charging properly

[@jdrancho1864]

My thought, you did well with the more-expensive, presumably higher quality cables. Cheap manufacturers sometimes go for a high-quality look by making the plastic thicker, but what you need is a thicker copper cross-section. The longer the cables, the thicker they need to be to make up for the amperage restriction over length. Cables designed for diesel trucks are the way to go. They also have stronger clamps that provide better connectivity at the contact points. Keep in mind a bright, shiny contact point is best. Longer cables also mean you don't have to worry about reach. Surprised to see that cables in the UK seem to come in individual pieces. I've only ever seen the red and the black welded together, except for the end sections.

[@ruk2023--]

I have had a couple of BMW's of this age (3,5) - if the starter hasn't gone already then that just means it's going to go. They tend to go between 120 and 140k miles. I have heard, but can't confirm if it's true, that a dying starter motor can kill a battery because it tries to pull too much power.

[@Leo060708]

I have never seen such a fuss to fit a car battery.

[@usernamemattie]

Come on Netflix we need an It's Joel car show

[@MrSidMuff]

Delighted for you. I too am giddy when I can "fix" something 👍

[@kieronmccauley5124]

Too many keys going on there Joel lol. If its clicking its def battery dead. Hate putting jump cables on them now. Ive seen one explode. It isnt pretty. Glad you fixed it yourself.

[@mohammadcheema7375]

Just one suggestion - you needed to be playing flight of the valkyries once you were zooming down that slip road. Its should be the law if you have a big, powerful German saloon.

[@TheSzubbi]

I wish I had time to watch this yesterday, today at 8 am I got into my 2017 Megane 4 and It did the same thing, just a small knock and nothing else, got pissed off cause I thought some wild animal got under the hood and bit the fuel lines (very common with Megane) and I had to be in Uni 200km away in few hours, fortunately, a neighbor came and saved the day with his "professional" charger. And now i see this :)

[@marktaylor6201]

You can't use a tender on a flat battery you need to buy a standard battery charger, something that puts in a standard 4 amps first and lift the voltage. The tender floats the voltage and is great if you leave the car or have parasitic draw, good luck!

[@Banglish123]

Rather than the american garage you mentioned, I would say this has all the makings of a @Hubnut style channel.

[@gframe287]

"Take it for a quick drive" - Come back up here to Scotland around the NC500 and everything will be fine : )

[@mickkingston1450]

You can't jump from the front of bmw ! Jump straight direct to battery ! That charger i have on ! Unplug charger and keep bressing button till the charger shows winter mode for storage mode and it will charge !

[@CesarFalco]

fyi When you measure the battery voltage on the BMW with the merc jump leads on, you're just measuring the merc voltage, you would have got the same voltage readings if you had taken the battery out and wired the voltmeter to the battery connections

[@chriswilliams5905]

Good lad Joel. That V12 does sound very well. Great channel. Lovely Boxster too.

[@robertwilliams-gg1zq]

Great to see the beast burst back into life along with the elation when it's fixed. Well done

[@ThunderRoadDreams]

Jumper cables are crap made these days , get yourself one of those high amp starter packs , also voltage isn’t what your looking for it’s the amps.

[@tomlantis8016]

I have a 99 e38 750il. I had to use my subaru and a booster pack to get it to start. Had the same problem 1 battery was flat other was fine you need alot of power to get it to start

[@Azariahthe1]

Love man from Zambia,you are the reason I bought a 7 series ❤️❤️❤️

[@ianmowbray3284]

If you are not going to use the cars for weeks you could put them on a CTEK battery chargers then you well not have this problems.

[@samman59939]

love the 7 series content so much, excited to hear about the plans for it!!!

[@basedcaveman]

This is definitely one of my new favourite automotive channels!

[@andrewthompsonuk1]

I never thought those jump leads would start that as the starter takes 400 or amps or more to turn the engine over. Anyway running a car with a battery that dead is also not good for the electronics. There is always a chance that the battery would have come to life by connecting the charger with the jumper leads attached to another battery and leaving it for a week or two. Unfortunately, your replacement battery is not correct for the 760. The power module will need to be coded for a non-AGM battery, however, that does not make much difference. You will find that the non-AGM battery will run down after 4 or so months (unless you drive the car every day). When you turn off an E65 it takes large amounts of current out of the battery for many minutes. This means a normal lead-acid battery is always in a semi discharged state. The best way around that is to throw the charger onto the car for a day or so every couple of months. The AGM batteries will be the same except you only need to charge them every 6 months or so.

[@floridahummer]

you are now a certifed BMW Engineer congrats

[@jimmy2can593]

For next time.... If you had simply took the terminals off your dead battery and put the Jump leads straight onto the positive and negative cables and effectively bypassed your BMW battery your car would have started.. BMW battery would have been sucking all that power... Well done for giving a good go though mate!!!

[@damindra]

Winner! Love the videos! Keep them coming...almost bought a 760li 2018 but bought a porsche pana 4 ehybrid sport turismo instead!

[@itsjoel]

Great car!

[@czechtomik]

The battery is in the boot of……. oh no its not😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@garylawton230]

We used to have that same seat belt issue on my wife’s old micra! 😜 A nice badge is a quick fix! 👍

[@justinjones4252]

Just wanted to say, always look forward to watching you videos. Watch them over and over.. Love it!...

[@buffalo182]

Had a giggle at wearing a bi metal root beer rolly and annoyed he may have wasted 90quid on the jump leads and trickle charge

[@marktolner2922]

Sorry about your battery but my AGM one in my 2005 760li did exactly the same thing. Although the car leaks charge away over about a week it always took a trickle charge until ........ it didn't. Dead as a Dodo. Jumping from my 2000 Mercedes CL500 to the connections under the bonnet did not work either. So I then switched battery over from my CL500 which was about the same and then it started just fine. So I purchased a new one for the BMW and installed and then cleared about 30 error messages with ISTA that are triggered by low voltage. You can use Carly to code the battery yourself (or ISTA of course) but you may need to pay an extra few quid to Carly to do so. By the way the starter motor in my 760li is starting to cause problems as it does not disengage cleanly and makes a nasty noise until it clears the teeth on the ring gear. Did you remove the plug from the battery and connect the vent hose? I could not see that you did. There is a plug at each end and you only need to remove the plug that you will insert the vent pipe connection into. PS - When you read the voltage while you were connected to the Merc it was mostly reading the Merc's output I guess and not the health of your battery. PPS - did you see my invite to drive the BMW to Kyiv in another comment?

[@johnathonandrew8952]

Load the battery by putting heaters lights etc on then check voltage on battery see if alternator is charging

[@nathangregory_]

Yes, getting old is a BITCH...But...I have found (over the years) that sit-ups help because they strengthen your body's core and always use your legs when lifting and keep your back straight. Posture has much to do with your back as well.

[@itsjoel]

Thanks for the tips 👍🏻

[@brianoneill7636]

Hooves garage mmm. I think your about $10 million away, can't wait for the Lambo video 😀

[@a1d3nh0]

Don’t forget to code the battery in… you can do it with Carly

[@ashleydowdeswell7026]

Had to replace my E85 3lr battery as had similar problems jump starting the car Found out it's not just the volts but the amps which start the engine That's why at a 12v reading jump start, if you don't have sufficient amp's the engine won't start, as you found out using the jump lead's On the top of the BMW battery post it will be stamped a date, mine was 48 04 (week 48, 2004) and lasted 16yrs I only drive my car at weekends as use a company vehicle and the battery went dead instantly without warning

[@Driver2397]

Unless you bought a AGM battery the new battery will be damaged in 6 months due to incorrect charging also you have to program the new battery to the car otherwise it will over charge it.

[@1mgarland162]

Nice one, congrats on fixing it! Genuinely really like that Merc, would be good to see it with the top down :D

[@itsjoel]

Once the sun comes out, I’ll get it down!

[@1mgarland162]

@@itsjoel good to hear! 😃

[@Bluebottle_GB]

I’d be getting the alternator checked for peace of mind; the old battery might have just reached the end of its life, but just to be sure you don’t kill the new one…

[@paulwalker9423]

Well done Joel great video , you cannot better the classics I have 5 in my fleet up in Yorkshire and very fortunate to have them all garaged as I live on the cold old east coast keep up the good work I am never disappointed paul

[@MartinAston00]

Damn, I guess it’s good if you have a yellow or yellow accented car there… look at those plates ! What an eye sore… they’re like almost 2ft. wide too !

[@mthorn572]

Your reaction to fixing something is the same as mine XD and I am probably less mechanical than you!! Loving the channel and all the recent content mate especially, keep up the good work!!

[@mannymageba254]

Joel needs a Car Wizard, haha

[@wellybobs4403]

Hi Joel, taking that old 7 series on nurbergerring was probably the 💋 of death. Try doing all the deferred service items or buy one with them done. High performance cars need servicing like you need food. Good luck. I am liking the presentation style but your niavety is showing.

[@vchris1987]

Code the battery with Carly, that’s why you have the subscription. No need of ISTA etc. Also i am pretty sure that the old battery is not dead. Connect it with a good battery and then connext the trickle charger. If the trickle charger has recondition mode pls enable it and the battery will be back to life!!

[@itsjoel]

You can’t code the battery with Carly on my E65

[@vchris1987]

@@itsjoel I have an E63 and I thought it is possbile on E65 also. Glad you took the time to respond Joel

[@franciscoflores-nunez6767]

Good job, same thing happened to my 330i e91, they need such a strong battery 🔋 👏

[@yeahnoway111]

the 7 series needs a $12,000 exhaust

[@mw5076]

Start doing as much work as can yourself on the RR to keep the cost down. It’s good content and experience and will set you up well in the future for other great bargains that need a bit of your input

[@czechtomik]

Thanks for the grand day out just tinkering with the car/s😂 i had an old honda and it was the same problem. Low voltage. New battery sorted it after i had to go home and get the spare key as the immobiliser kicked in. Great vids. Thanks squire.

[@5tevenH]

Parrot kit. Simply pull it off the dash, snip the wire. Tuck wire back in, job done ✔

[@stretch5627]

You will need to code the battery to the car, which you can do via Carly. The car needs to know the battery is new, what capacity and type so it can be charged at the appropriate rate. Well done on changing battery yourself.

[@TheVexator]

Indeed

[@stephenlane9168]

Quite enjoyed this video Joel, not sure why? Probably as I,m not at all mechanically minded either 🤷🏻so well done you, love the sound of that BMW V12 👌👏

[@itsjoel]

Thanks Stephen

[@bestfriendbayliss]

Removing the Parrot thing is easy my dude. Just whip that front section of the dash apart and remove it where it connects to the stereo.

[@rossmclaren71]

Good job mate hard to see on camera but always disconnect earth lead first and re connect it last 👍this avoids any nasty sparks and damage ! Good to see your getting it coded as a lot of people don’t know that it needs done. I would leave it on your new charger when not being used mate as it will keep tune battery in good health. It should be a maintenance charger too if it’s good one you bought 👍it’s ok to charge it from the bonnet points too Joel

[@waterfordMARTIN]

Why dont you coded the battery yourself with carly???

[@justinjones4252]

Glad it was just the battery.. My 530d had the same problem. Had to have a new battery and starter motor.. No reverse lights on Yr Mercedes mate!... Small issue I know...

[@itsjoel]

Thanks, noticed that when I was editing the video!

[@jasonk7072]

Fixing something feels pretty good 😊

[@itsjoel]

It really does!

[@willpa9778]

Brilliant job, next time I’d be carful and leave on the battery protection covers when sliding into position, reason being if you were to knock the battery over and it touched the bodywork of the car it will short out with a lot of fault current, which wouldn’t be nice!!! Order than that good job

[@stevewhite1444]

Sunbury cross looking decidedly clear for a change, I must go through at the wrong times. Good call in the battery but yes get it coded soon to be safe. I do like the Porsche though quite fancy one myself. Enjoying the content, keep up the good work 👍

[@niallobrien6857]

Fantastic content buddy, been watching you since you’re early days, keep going, you’re gonna make it 👍

[@rankzwazhere]

Certified KZbin mechanic. Well done.