My Wife and I Don’t Agree on Politics

My Wife and I Don’t Agree on Politics
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[@VIsidore]

My husband and I are in agreement on politics. I can't imagine being married to someone who isn't. It makes our lives easier.

[@sellmav]

That’s because you’re an ideologue who doesn’t value your own country. You believe the government should force your values on everyone else which is the most anti American idea I can think of. Most Americans have been brainwashed into begging for the government boot to be on their necks.

[@Delboydunno]

It’s ridiculous to me to think that politics should divide a relationship

[@ONLY1KUDWE]

@Delboydunno Political differences are didn't than having an opinion on what type is best or better. You must be living under a rock to not see that both parties are far from being in agreement or most things. So, to say that not being politically aligned makes sense is insane.

[@Delboydunno]

@@ONLY1KUDWE true, someone who’s pro trans probably won’t marry a bigot anyways. I think the only issue that should find their way into the household is abortion. All others don’t matter to a family or can be compromised on.

[@andrewformentera8507]

Ridiculous that you put so much value on “politics”

[@sandicook10]

I couldn't be married to someone i didnt agree politically. These items were discussed before marriage.

[@liverfailure1597]

Her worldview could have changed with childbirth, meaning what wasn't important before has become way more important now

[@dagobert1234321]

Agreed, I couldn’t marry a MAGA fanatic

[@marsrobinson3322]

I couldn’t do it either, someone’s politics are representatives of their morals and those are so important

[@vchavana]

That's sad , you need to broaden your views on life. My husband and I are different politically. And yes this was discussed but he was not forthcoming. So here we are right. You have to listen to both sides.

[@miketheyunggod2534]

That’s sad.

[@Themoomabides]

This is what happens when you marry someone because you like the same TV shows and theme parks and think they’re cute. How did these conversations not come up before?

[@alexdillon5348]

Why does it matter? Whether my significant other likes the turd sandwich or the giant douche, ill still love them cuz i chose them for who they are not what they believe in.

[@lukefoster9169]

​@alexdillon5348 what someone believes in is a crucial part to who they are... you can't just separate that...

[@SpaQueenRocks]

​@@lukefoster9169 This, especially when it comes to taking other's rights away. A privileged position, if they personally will never have to experience that kind of exploitation or vitriol.

[@sellmav]

@@alexdillon5348why would you like a third sandwich or a douche. What are you talking about

[@vikki-333]

@@SpaQueenRockshit the nail on the head.

[@laserbeam-fx9qv]

You don't have to be in agreement on every single political view, yet your political views reflect the lens and world view by which your values you choose to live by. This reveals how important it is you discuss your values and beliefs well before you decide to marry someone.

[@digitalaccessibilityacademy]

Bingo! People allow feels and tingles to dissuade them from asking the tough questions and making the difficult decisions. You hit the nail right on its noggin.

[@amandab5085]

I love your take on these issues. Getting down to the real issues. "how can you feel safe" "how can she feel safe. " I love that

[@rational9229]

How do you argue with irrationality?

[@emmajones8590]

@@rational9229 Who is being irrational? Large numbers of people, including children, are injured or killed every year in the USA, due to there being a firearm in the house.

[@rational9229]

@@emmajones8590 Biden's own study at the CDC shows that the number of people saved is 10 times more than those injured. Find the study at the CDC website.

[@Whatorwellsaid21]

I swear people don’t talk before marriage. How dumb.

[@amandab5085]

But people also can change their opinions on things

[@ONLY1KUDWE]

Exactly

[@ONLY1KUDWE]

​@amandab5085 This is true. But it also doesn't sound like the case here.

[@camarada9755]

@@amandab5085that’s fair, BUT people change their opinion on whether they like pickles. As a grown adult, it’s unusual to change your beliefs on concrete issues, that showcases your foundational values.

[@Tony-bp1nr]

​@@camarada9755You'll be surprised. There are a lot of fence riders out there with no solid conviction. They'll stand for something one day, then turn against it eventually

[@kfrenchiiee]

I believe things like political beliefs, religious beliefs, and whether you want children, etc, should be discussed before committing to a serious relationship.

[@ColonelKlink100]

He keeps calling his wife emotional but he doesn't realize he is being emotional too.

[@user-il2oy5kb7f]

Yep he’s trying to paint her as irrational in conversations about politics… it’s a subtle way of inferring that he’s more rational.

[@UtoobAreNotZs]

​@@user-il2oy5kb7fmen always are

[@kaitlynrice7306]

The mistake here, is not asking your partner these things BEFORE you married her and had a kid. You and your partner should be on the same page. You're a team.

[@joygarrett8397]

You can have some same or similar core values & still vote differently for similar reasons . . Jmho.

[@ONLY1KUDWE]

💯

[@ONLY1KUDWE]

​@@joygarrett8397How is that possible?

[@anibaldamiao]

What were they even talking about when dating? 😅

[@sumzero5857]

How does that work when ppl continue to grow, evolve and change after marriage???? 😳 Or in your world are ppl supposed to be frozen in time ? The larger more nuanced point being that love can draw ppl together regardless of different perspectives and JD is sharing an approach for how to facilitate aligning on shared core values while creating a safe place to explore and build from.

[@ffraine]

I feel like Dr. John absolutely knocked this out of the park.

[@lottielane2486]

I feel like you,re right !😊😊

[@melissagottlieb3381]

When Texans marry foreigners, like someone from California or Seattle.. 😂😂😂

[@xxxxsha]

As an outsider, your politics is so tribal left vs right. There is NO compromise. What happened to bipartisan or in the middle. I like conservative elements and democratic elements.

[@KrisInLove]

@@xxxxsha modern conservatives are pretty much the liberals of the past. Modern liberals are what’s causing the problems in this country. They’re essentially communists and satanic freaks, destroying all logical thoughts, god-given rights, and the laws of nature. Conservatives are the middle as of now.

[@MorwenAncalime]

It's awful. There's such a lack of willingness to listen to each other and at least *try* to understand other perspectives. That being said, I do understand why some people aren't willing to be in a relationship with someone whose political beliefs seem to threaten their rights or existence.

[@tjbanville]

In the neverending race to attract new voters, both of the dominant parties have extended their policy platforms into new issues. If we appear polarized its because the federal government is involved in issues that quite frankly should be resolved at the state and local level. My father always taught me that the best government is less government but the last 50 years we've gone full bore in the opposite direction.

[@ebullock1000]

The ones who want to reach across and find common ground are seen as weak, it’s pitiful.

[@stevenruyf4044]

There's no middle or bipartisanship on fundamental issues like life liberty or pursuit of property. You can't have half a gun in the house just like you can't have half of a daughter. To haggle that way is insane.

[@cajuncraftysue]

My husband and I are complete opposites, even politically. Most of my friends are opposites of me politically. I grew up in Louisiana, deep south & Republican. My husband grew up in Massachusetts. The most liberal area in the US! My marriage is MORE IMPORTANT than politics!! My friendships are MORE IMPORTANT than politics. Our adult kids are opposites politically & THEY get along! I mean, politics is NOT our life! It’s part of it. We discussed our core beliefs before marriage & that was it!

[@BeigeSnow]

How would you guys handle big disagreements? Like hypothetically if one of your children said they were trans and wanted to change pronouns and do hormonal therapy , a liberal person would most likely support and even praise that, while a conservative absolutely would not. If one of you were firmly pro gun rights and wanted guns for safety or other practical reasons like hunting, but one of you was very against guns and didn’t think regular citizens should own them at all, how does that get navigated? Basically who gives up their moral principles in these types of situations and how do you avoid resentment ? Being friends with someone of opposing politics isn’t that difficult. You Aren’t living with them. You aren’t parenting with them. Iv got a lot of left wing friends but at the end of the day they run their households with their own partners and I run mine with my husband. I can’t comprehend trying to raise kids and run a household with a husband that I disagreed with about guns, gender ideology, religion or any of the big moral foundational things that you teach children. That seems like it would be way more difficult than marrying a likeminded person.

[@Imzadi]

You are a VERY strong person. I can not imagine being opposite my husband. We are both conservative and I thank God every day that we agree. My heart goes out for this young couple because the fact is, marriage is going to be harder for them than if they were evenly yolked.

[@l3gend-g4mer7]

​@@BeigeSnowYou don't necessarily need one person to give up their morals. But you need to find some middle ground between both of your opinions. People with different beliefs don't need to fight over everything, you can disagree with someone as long as you don't go too far to one side of an opinion they should be fine.

[@camarada9755]

@@cajuncraftysue what a privilege to view politics as trivial, almost as if choosing between the color red and blue. I ask you to read your comment again and acknowledge that. No way in h e l l id be friends with someone voting against my loved one’s livelihoods, let alone marry them. Politics ARE life, and if you fail to see that, you’ve never been adversely affected.

[@DJ-cm8xj]

might work for you, but romantically its usually best to have similar values/opinions. friends/family can believe what they want, but my spouse i want to think similarly to me. i personally love debating and discussing history and politics and if my husband werent right leaning id simply not be attracted to him. we wouldnt even make it past the dating stage lol! i dont know how you do it, but i think youre just the exception to the rule, or perhaps you and your spouse agree on alot morally and in values so it works... but the left winging people arent the same as how they used to be which is probably why its harder today to date with polar opposite political views

[@jacobcamoza9446]

The marriage ends in disaster. You dont have to know who eachother vote for but your morals and culture need to be compatible. Unfortunately the left and the right are polarized to a point where compromise isnt acheivable right now.

[@seanforeman1457]

Compromise isn't achievable? Trump supporters are part of a CULT... so good luck to you men and women that happen to be involved with them. Common sense says run for the hills and connect with someone that believes in facts and democracy... period.

[@oterosocram25]

Very good point.

[@camarada9755]

Exactly. Politics aren’t just talking pieces, it’s people’s livelihoods and it matters. The power of political differences shouldn’t be undermined.

[@marissathomas9327]

I don’t think necessarily culture but I agree .

[@nathandelamora7107]

Well said

[@nativefraulein5801]

My brother and his wife are opposite ends of the spectrum, he's conservative and she is liberal. They still love eachother and get along. As I love to say to my nieces: it's true democracy in action at your house.

[@ONLY1KUDWE]

Would bet $100 that's because they don't talk about their differences of opinions. And if you ask me, what kind of relationship is that to not be able to talk about everything and anything that's on your mind.

[@oterosocram25]

There is no way. There is a lot more to it that you don't know, specially in 2024. They are either very ignorant in the subjects and can care less or one of them at least is very ignorant and they are just simply sweeping things under the rug and is just accumulating.

[@camarada9755]

Hmm, maybe she’s more centrist as I doubt that would be their case if she was on the hard left.. idk if it’s the most healthy situation to marry someone who has different values than yours.

[@tiger05rtc]

No way that works 😂

[@rachelengstrom9120]

My grandparents where the same and loved each other very deeply. They respected the other's views even when they disagreed.

[@jacobsteven33]

Lesson of the day: Don’t marry someone who has opposite values from you. lol 😂

[@ONLY1KUDWE]

Pretty much!

[@shawnanderson7858]

You can have similar values and be politically opposite.

[@ONLY1KUDWE]

@shawnanderson7858 Someone tell me how this is possible? Your politics ARE based on your values. If one party is for abortions and the other isn't. And you're totally against abortions but your spouse is as well, but thinks other people should be able to have one if they want. How are your values the same?

[@sandicook10]

​@@shawnanderson7858I disagree the values become policies

[@Thesmurfeater12345]

​@@ONLY1KUDWEby having different assumptions. Go read A Conflict of Visions if you're really interested in this subject.

[@amandag4618]

I lean more democrat on issues and my husband is more republican. Remember, “you don’t have to see eye to eye to walk hand in hand.” I think a more important quality to have in this day and age is to be ABLE to have these tough conversations and be ABLE to find a middle ground. People in the comments act like it’s bad to be different than your spouse but it’s really nice if you’re mature enough to handle it. He’s actually changed his perception on some things because of me and I have as well. When everyone starts to try this once in a while maybe our country wouldn’t be such a train wreck

[@mattterrell4304]

You mean, be adults lol. We seem to have a lack of maturity anymore.

[@alanparedes2034]

Agreed. I don't believe in God and my wife new it when we met. I knew she was really religious, and I knew it from the start. It's never been an issue except when I tease her about obeying her husband.

[@elisamartinez3881]

I see that in the comments as well , me and mine don't agree politically on everything but it doesn't hinder how I see our future or our marriage. We love each other period. It doesn't affect us. It's crazy that it affects ppl so much that they couldn't fathom life with ppl who have their own opinions !!

[@bcent5758]

@@elisamartinez3881- I think normally people would agree with you, but when you have the democratic countries in the world worried that a cult leader Trump who is a wannabe dictator, admirer of Putin and Oban wants to be the ruler of the free world it’s frightening.

[@melisshere28]

This💯 My husband and I don’t have the exact same alignments in political stances, but it’s actually opened my eyes to understand how other people can think differently, especially in politics. The “other side” is not my enemy. It’s possible to have close friendships with people who don’t think exactly like you.

[@Hello_jo]

Imo dr John is down playing the gender ideology thing way too much. It’s very important to be on the same page with that issue in this day and age.

[@Lovecoffe506]

Not really. The statistical chances that it will impact your family are minimal. And if it does and your child is one of those cases you better be at least diplomatic about it and let them make choices once their 18 or you lose those children. Maybe look at the bible how men in a bible handles prodical son?

[@Hello_jo]

@@Lovecoffe506 lol this is a very rose colored way of looking at the world right now. Good for you.

[@lottielane2486]

​@@Hello_jobut given the propagandising going on in schools, not realistic.

[@Hello_jo]

@@lottielane2486 the issue is not it being a small percentage of people/schools. The issue is overlooking the fact that it’s small now and what it could grow into, if not given the proper attention now. Just like anything. It will become an untamed beast. The govt wants control of kids. California is leading this charge - just take a look at their laws. Kids can get gender affirming surgery without parental consent? That’s not just a little thing to overlook.

[@lottielane2486]

@@Hello_jo YES. I completely agree. But in this instance, Dr John is trying to help the young guy negotiate his marriage, not solve the tra... NS gender issue. That requires a podcast all to itself.

[@mademoisellemsc]

I'm so tired of emotions being genderized. As if men never have emotions. And husbands are guilty of saying their wives are overly emotional and not meaning it as a compliment. Most likely these men ignore the emotional needs of themselves and their wives. Husbands - be a safe space for your wives to express themselves. Do better.

[@Bringon-dw8dx]

Men have emotions- they are far more likely to be angry for example. But men only seem to recognise crying as ‘being emotional’.

[@Haleh1]

I would not tolerate anyone indoctrinating my kid with gender ideology. Not for one second. As a girl, your daughter is particularly vulnerable. I also wouldn't want to be with a man who didnt want to help me protect our home.

[@pipermarie8393]

As a black women, my partners party affiliation is important, I also enjoy politics so I need to know where he stands. However, everything else you said was incredible advice 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@ZukoTheShinigami]

Lol Why people feel so special announcing their race, I have no idea 😂

[@pipermarie8393]

@@SarahConnor562 ohhh, has one of the 2 major parties ever been endorsed by a group of ppl who have a historical record of killing white people? I know it’s an ugly fact you may not want to acknowledge but it doesn’t change reality. Have a great day.

[@pipermarie8393]

@@ZukoTheShinigami if you have no idea why I made my comment then you are apart of the problem. Have a nice day

[@pipermarie8393]

@@ZukoTheShinigamithe current republican cant has been endorsed, at one point, by the KKK, so yes as a black woman it is important to me. Maybe you should ask yourself why my comment bothered you so?

[@susanamunoz3537]

I’m voting for Trump! And I’m happy you get to vote for who your heart desires. Go USA

[@theundone777]

Umm... If he is making these things a debate it's BECAUSE he has emotions around them. He acts like she's the only one who has emotions, but if he didn't have them it wouldn't be that important to him to debate it. Logic is extremely fallible, as people tend to leave out variables when determining their own logic- due to bias and beliefs.

[@kaylee200210]

My husband is liberal and I’m conservative. Things weren’t so politically charged as they are now vs when we dated. I’m not gonna lie it is tough, I struggle but at the end of the day I love him and not who he votes for.

[@kele.w]

I mean, who he is INFORMS who he votes for. People generally vote for the people who most closely reflect their values.

[@bcent5758]

He must struggle too, only maga people in tge US like Trump the other half see him for the narcissist that he is and the democratic countries outside of the US see him as fake as they come. It’s hard for you? I’d suggest that it’s more difficult for your husband.

[@UtoobAreNotZs]

So youte basically a lesbian

[@kaylee200210]

@@UtoobAreNotZsbasically 😂

[@Redeemed081]

Probably should have discussed politics prior to getting married. I would not have married someone who did not align with my political beliefs.

[@liverfailure1597]

Her worldview could have changed with childbirth, meaning what wasn't important before has become way more important now

[@TheListKeepers]

@@liverfailure1597 you keep commenting that on comments here lol

[@liverfailure1597]

@@TheListKeepers People keep replying the same thing--I'm just responding in kind. It's a valid point, people change worldviews sometimes upon life-changing events

[@lottielane2486]

But it sounds like their VALUES are similar. They just both have a different way of achieving the same things .

[@sellmav]

That’s not a virtue.

[@csx6910]

Politics are a matter of values; if you don't agree, you're doomed.

[@Frannie2199]

I’m sorry, but it is a very funny sentence to say “my wife is wonderful, loving, compassionate, and I’m traditional”

[@Jpravenfan98]

There’s zero chance he truly does not know who his wife voted for lol. Be more Honest with your audience man.

[@izzywox8246]

It seemed pretty honest to me. He said he knew which way his wife leaned, but didn’t know who she voted for.

[@liverfailure1597]

I mean, it's technically possible unless he followed her into the voting booth. I don't "know" who my fiancee voted for, nor does she "know" who I voted for. We both suspect, but we never had that conversation

[@lvnobro4632]

Mu husband and I have been married for 21 years. Never tell each other who we vote for. It's a thing.

[@montanagirl3835]

Eh, he can probably guess but may not know. I know couples who do that.

[@Gemmarose9012]

Goofy. If you’re voting opposite you’re only cancelling each other out anyway.😂

[@EvySurvived]

The best advice I can offer young people is to stay single and not have children. My daughter is 34 and living her best life minus the pain and drama of family life.

[@saralee8531]

Me and my husband wouldnt have gotten married if we didnt align politically. Your views, values, beliefs, morals and the way you want to parent your children all mirror our political and religious beliefs. Luckily we have always agreed on those things but it wasn't difficult for him to know where I stood because we actually talked and had conversations. Plus it helped that on our first date we went to the gun range 😂

[@famousnobody134]

Never combine lives, unless you’re aligned. -Dave Ramsey Show

[@marybarton7027]

Personally I couldn't not be with someone who didn't line up with my core beliefs on my country and America. It just wouldn't work. It would be like oil and water.

[@nicokl5593]

I think maybe in the past it would have been easier to have different politics ideologies in the house. Now, not so much. People have never been so divided. It could become a huge issue.

[@izzywox8246]

When my husband and I vote, we cancel each others vote out lol

[@RaleighLink]

People who let politics destroy their life and overtake their relationships are emotionally immature.

[@Bringon-dw8dx]

I think the lack of political discussion prior to pregnancy/marriage is the issue here. You SHOULD be able to discuss values and politics with your partner, and if you are not comparable early on then leave the relationship.

[@Tahra.xoxoxo]

I love how Dr John always tries to get the caller to start on the topic quickly and not spend much time on greeting and pleasantries. Maybe this is for practical reasons to do with content but I also like to imagine that he feels more comfortable when stuck into what he loves - engaging with issues - and it allays any social anxiety of his to go deep quickly. I have affection for the kind of person that finds engaging in the meat of life easier than small talk.

[@chericoffman6321]

He knew her politics when he married her. But the premarital sex was good so he ignored it. Now he’s suddenly bothered by it.

[@EricFant]

It takes two to tango dear. Plus he literally said everything changed after they had their daughter.

[@yambagnelson9987]

She knew his politics when she married him. But the d was good so she ignored it. Now she's suddenly bothered by it.

[@nolabae]

This is the one

[@BeigeSnow]

Same could be said for her. She knew the guy had guns and it’s pretty obvious he is conservative or at least right leaning. I’m sure she could have found a liberal man to marry and have kids with if owing guns was a deal breaker for her.

[@oterosocram25]

I disagree. Most people get to marriage without talking about these things in a deep sense and for the sake of not hurting the other they stay quiet until it blows up.

[@faith780]

I love that you mentioned people picturing their Grandmother because that’s exactly who I think of when engaging in the gun conversation, she literally slept with a gun under her pillow…lol we’re obviously in Texas 😂

[@ONLY1KUDWE]

Go granny!!!😂

[@franziskani]

So it would have been easy for a burglar or a sneaky kid to STEAL the firearm. It does NOT decrease safety. as per statistics. But being able to operate a firearm can make feel people powerful.

[@faith780]

@@franziskani it was just different levels of respect back then, we understood what it was for and knew not to touch it.

[@UtoobAreNotZs]

​@@franziskanino a single thing you said was accurate at all. Yes they make you safer. Objectively

[@EDUAROSOLAS]

Message to your wife: Buy a safe. Message to you: Pickup a book and learn about people who are different than you.

[@firefly9838]

He probably has one. I don't know a single gun owner who doesn't have one and I know hundreds of them... my guess is that she doesn't care and STILL has a problem with it

[@EDUAROSOLAS]

@@firefly9838 Nice to meet you lol. The purpose was to point out that guns are safe in a responsible home. I am glad to hear you corroborate that point anecdotally.

[@dinosaursnack]

What is less important than agreeing on politics is agreeing on values. In my experience, if you are a leader as a man in a relationship, she will take on many of your political views. But the most important thing is that you agree on values and are capable of having disagreements on issues while still having full respect for one another.

[@kitkat3155]

Yeah sorry buddy but this is on you. You didn’t ask all the important questions before creating a human with someone. You must have known she was left leaning so it’s very silly to think issues wouldn’t come up when raising kids. 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@hollystiener16]

she isn't just left leaning, she is hardcore left and he is hardcore right.

[@AdrianneCurrytv]

Gender ideaology with children would be a deal breaker to even have kids. You cannot compromise eith making adult issues known to children

[@harlenkelly7331]

Agree, we cannot allow conservative ideologues to push their baseless and unsubstantiated religious nonsense on kids. Keep your stupidity to yourself.

[@skaterwig]

100 percent right. This will damage the child as they grow up. Should only be addressed when they become an adult by themselves

[@emmajones8590]

A partner being antivaxx regarding children, would be a dealbreaker for me. Him being a rabid pro lifer as well. I would not be willing to put my life at risk or give birth to a severely damaged child, because of HIS beliefs.

[@AllenAlchemyTTV]

"making adult issues known to children", y'all are so obsessed with same gender sex acts. A 4th grade boy "throws like a girl" and wants a Barbie birthday party and I guess now you feel compelled to tell him about the mechanics of sex? It's fucking weird. The entire argument is "there is nothing wrong with that (the Barbie birthday party), intercept and punish bullying, and if he's gay he'll tell us when he's older". Nothing "adult" about any of the things.

[@ashleyduckworthyt3224]

My husband and I don’t agree on a lot of political points. Doesn’t mean I don’t respect his opinions and vice versa. We share the same core values and morals. I trust him to make decisions based on the two of us as a unit. We may vote differently but we love and fight for the same principles.

[@PaolaHuezo]

Absolutely not. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half and we have had alllll the discussions from politics, to religion, to finances, to how to raise kids, our friends, where do we want to live long term, our long term career plans ALLLLL OF IT. We do not hold back and all our values are aligned. We both are very logical thinkers and respect each others emotions and thoughts because we absolutely love each other so much. We discuss these things now so we don’t have secrets pop up later in life. We were mature and brave enough to have very hard discussions because we want to enter marriage as smoothly as possible (we are aware it will never be 100% smooth) but more than it can be.

[@Joenzinator]

It's not a political difference that impacts the marriage. It's a difference in values, which manifests itself as wildly different politics. We have occasionally voted for different people, so although we share values, sometimes we differ in who we believe represents those the best. But that's a pretty uncommon occurrence. I know some men who have to lie to themselves every day to maintain the peace in their marriage, which I don't support. I knew an electrical engineer who's wife made him unplug the microwave so they don't get exposed to radiation. That man knows EXACTLY how a microwave works, and why it's safe. Just be true to yourself, even if it makes some waves.

[@booksquid856]

LOL. Microwaves do pose a health hazard, but so do many things in our modern lifestyle....5G, pesticides, synthetic supplements, nanoparticle preservatives. So you have to decide what toxic things to deal with and how.

[@MrJimmy3459]

Always keep guns locked up with small children in the house

[@incisivecommenter5974]

Actually, this marriage follows a larger, documented trend that women, especially young women, are more liberal, and men,especially young men, are more conservative. The NYT did a big article about it.

[@stephenwishburne1034]

Our country wouldn’t exist and we would never have made the best country in civilization without the ideals behind the 2nd amendment. Also, people cling to emotions when they don’t have a logical, sound response or argument.

[@michaelb.6007]

A logically sound argument based on faulty emotional premises will always produce a conservative.

[@Loakley1998]

10:12 “I don’t think traditional values have to be absent of compassion.” Thank you for saying this. I feel that one “side” is often deemed as the compassionate and correct viewpoint. Demonizing those with different beliefs makes good faith conversation nearly impossible. Both sides are guilty of this - we need healing as a nation.

[@spotmfd9431]

You need basic core values. My wife is a slightly woke democrat. I am a moderate Republican but our core values on life and family are the same. An we have been married 24 years.

[@ONLY1KUDWE]

There's a reason why you are a Democrat vs Republican. The 2 have fundamental differences in their core beliefs. Maybe 20-30 years ago, you could have said what you just said. But right now, I don't see how anyone can say you are a Democrat married to a Republican and say that makes sense. The things that either party aligns with are not the same. Not even close to being the same. It almost feels like the left will pick a fight with anything the right has to say to just be different or against them. There are no similarities.

[@therealmvp232]

Avoid a woke democrat like the plague. Them sickos think men can be women

[@mnguitar1]

You are letting the media divide your own household. They are winning. It’s not that extreme trust me

[@RachelJane101]

What is “slightly woke”?

[@sellmav]

Not today you’re not. A slightly woke democrat today is a usually an entitled delusional narcissist.

[@ce6654]

I'm having a rough time because my wife has suddenly decided to redefine herself after an extreme weight loss and change everything about herself. Her politics and beliefs are starting to change, and we've been married for over a year.

[@harrykashouli9774]

If John REALLY doesn't know who his wife voted for, their marriage sucks ass.

[@Delboydunno]

How about embrace you and your wife’s differences, teach her your common moral ideas, and encourage your daughter to experience life and make up her own political opinions for herself.

[@anibaldamiao]

Politics is working. It’s all about the division that topics create so they can decide and conquer

[@thejakelegion]

Madness. How dumb can you be? My wife and I SHARE THE SAME WORLDVIEW. How can you not freaking know you married someone so damn different? Amazing.

[@mukuzChannel]

This guy probably has stronger views that he's trying to present here, or his wife does It makes for a very abstract conversation which is kinda a waste of time

[@liverfailure1597]

His wife's views have become pretty extreme, he seems pretty reasonable. She believes there's 29 genders

[@itsonlyatail]

My husband calls me a conspiracy theorist…..but my theories are usually true

[@mikelp72]

Dude married the wrong woman. He was naive to not ask her such things before marriage, especially if she’s from California.

[@RIDSESSA93]

Every couple I know like this has a rocky relationship.

[@miniDrew4]

My question to John is how does this work with the idea that you shouldn't keep secrets from your spouse?

[@danabischof1891]

Guarantee you this guy is as “emotional” as his wife lol

[@TheSarah89]

Big issue is when you have policy divisions that are reflective of values. It’s one thing to disagree on fiscal policy. It’s another to disagree on abortion, etc.

[@pandemmonium]

if he had a son he wouldn’t be making this call. 100%

[@markeayers]

My wife and I aren't totally aligned, but she knew I came with guns and we also agree on the major issues, like what's a woman. Funny how we talked about this before marriage.

[@francestaylor9156]

More women need to play Fallout. That’s how I got over my bias. I played Skyrim first and fell in love with shooting arrows. Then I played Fallout 4 and REALLY enjoyed shooting in that. Played Borderlands 2 with my husband as well and that was super fun. You don’t want to be without defense when things fall apart. The bad guys are not going to care that you are good people.

[@nqcorama]

I grew up in a bipartisan household. My parents never disrespected each other around their politics. They always listened and respected each other in that realm. I learned about both sides of the coin and personally tend towards the middle. Focus on your common beliefs and what brought you together.

[@Godfirst9845]

The conversation I’d have is “Ok if someone breaks in you can go wrestle them, no? That’s my job since I’m the man? Well then I need my tools for my job.”

[@CharlotteCarMoments]

I just want to say that Kelly has a lot of patience for Dr. John's tomfoolery

[@oterosocram25]

Everytime I have been exposed to something like this, one party is extremely ignorant, have not done their homework and its all about emotions and comments that have spread. In my marriage we compare EVERYTHING to the Word of God.

[@blaketrent8548]

Yeah, cause a book written by 40 different people 2000 years ago is applicable to whether a child should have a cell phone or not. You most certainly pick and choose based on what you THINK god might say. Do you beat your wife with a stick no thicker than your thumb? Do you eat shellfish? If the answer is no to the first and yes to the second, you don't follow God's word.

[@HOLDXSTEEL]

Ew

[@emmajones8590]

Well so long as you are both on the same page, that's ok. As an atheist, I would find someone comparing everything to the 'word of god' incredibly irritating.

[@michaelb.6007]

God (he/him) lacks xy chromosomes. ❤

[@pokecollectbrett]

We dated 5 years before marriage. I know everything about my wife and we aline perfectly.

[@privacyplease1556]

Your politics are a reflection of your values. It’s very weird to not know your spouses values.

[@wendytravis6427]

How can you take marital advice from a guy whose marriage isn’t secure enough to discuss voting. I’m quite shocked that Dr. John has this kind of marriage. That’s not at all what I expected.

[@christinao8877]

If you don’t know who your spouse voted for you don’t know your spouse.

[@dp1202]

What I heard was I am traditional my wife is conservative what words can I use to get her to yield to my beliefs. Just accept that you have different ways of thinking and thats okay and move on.

[@mattterrell4304]

The way he danced around the gender thing. He didnt wanna say it outloud. I love the little john and kelly moments

[@patsycrowdis2629]

Been with hubby for 45 years, for decades, how we voted was not even a conversation. Never has the vote been more important for women. If he votes for the right wing, he just spit in her face.

[@basantidevi2305]

Back 15 years ago a democrat and republican could marry and they were mature enough to have it be a non issue. But people aren’t mature anymore. One picks a fight with the other. Just stop the nonsense and grow up folks. You don’t need to know how your wife votes and neither does she need to know how you vote. And pretty much who cares? Our vote is a tiny tiny piece of life. Focus on other things. What’s ok and not ok re who runs the country is silly.

[@ginaruby]

My husband & I never discussed politics before we married. Turns out we were registered opposites. After finding out about differences we simply started discussing how we felt & why. Turns out there was A LOT of common ground. We’re still registered differently but have come to understand each other’s point of view and can now even support that point of view in certain circumstances. Fortunately, there have been no dealbreaker such as guns. Hope you two can work it out. We live in California and we vote as a family with our four grown children mainly on propositions.

[@WabeWalker100]

Way too many people in the comments missed what the doc was saying about values being different than beliefs. Like… whoosh. Maybe watch the episode again with your brain switched on and your ego turned off. 😂

[@DRJ-ytp]

I don’t know who my husband voted for, and we have been together since 1992. We respect each other and our marriage is more important than politics. Communication and respect solves the majority of problems but requires maturity which most people lack

[@katie0303]

In 2016, when I began to realize my now ex BF was a Trump supporter, I knew we wouldn't go the distance.

[@uuubeut]

Politics divide equally - an equal opportunity destroyer

[@anonymousdogg1559]

This dude messed up completely, yes what John said was decent but at the end of the day as soon as I heard “my wife’s from San Diego” I was like hell naw bro, another huge red flag is “emotional when we talk about identity gendering” that’s possibly one of the easiest things to get an understanding on, it’s really sad because this dude doesn’t realize she married him because he let her walk all over him before marriage, and now that he is a father he decides it’s time to find equal foundations to Stand on their marriage, she gets emotional about what seems every topic, that means she has to get what she wants and he literally cannot be a true father to his daughter. IMO if bro doesn’t do what she wants, she will 100% inevitably initiate a divorce that he doesn’t want, over 70% of Divorce are initiated by the wife, that’s saying something.

[@anonymousdogg1559]

To further back up my claim, the 1 time John Deloney had his wife on the show she was really rude to him and treated him like a kid, you can infer from that 1 time she was on that she 100% rules the marriage.

[@meghanmillea6840]

Politics are an expression of values and how you talk about pronouns, etc are pretty huge. If my husband and I weren't aligned we couldn't raise our kids together

[@ashtonstout7375]

Wow. I can’t imagine marrying someone before discussing religion, politics, and parenting.

[@LizaMinenkova]

If you can’t tell your spouse who you’ve voting for…who can you tell?

[@birsancristina9278]

They had no business getting married and having a child together. How tf did they not decided all of that before marriage??? These are things you talk when things get serious. What did they do instead???

[@11118msn]

Nah, their marriage can be good as long as they bond over similarities and respect each other’s differences.

[@detectivecats3392]

They were too busy having sex. On the couch in the car on a bed on the floor etc

[@liverfailure1597]

Her worldview could have changed with childbirth, meaning what wasn't important before has become way more important now

[@11118msn]

@@liverfailure1597 having children really does change everything

[@liverfailure1597]

@@11118msn You never truly know a woman until she's had a child

[@9liveslisa]

Yes. women do not want to be fixed.

[@markskolka4931]

Well, John, guns have affected a lot of people now. My image of a gun is a shooter killing my uncle in cold blood at the U-Haul store. It’s not about feeling safe it’s about the fact someone else could have the same thing happen. It’s haunting to families that have gone through it

[@TheListKeepers]

yeah damn i could never be with someone who doesnt have the same beliefs of human rights and bodily autonomy

[@cathalhendron3941]

100% 👏👏​@@SarahConnor562

[@robsmith8933]

You mean killing babies 👶 shame on you

[@court5975]

Ask your wife how she expects you to fight off an armed home intruder with no firearm in the house.

[@katwaugh1686]

Hum. What if your daughter turns 5 and says she is a boy….. is your wife going to transition her? So maybe you make certain she knows how you are going to raise your daughter in the home, but that you will be accepting of others.

[@shawncho5217]

Wait till she decides that they need to support her daughters gender transition when she is 7. GL 👍

[@kathycannon4805]

Why do have to agree on everything? Do you think that your children will not meet people who disagree with them. Do you want them to be able to handle it with grace? Figure it out!

[@pingpongballz5998]

The way I look at it, there's a spectrum. I consider myself center right. But I could never marry someone who is all the way right and I can't marry someone all the way to the left either.

[@sweetstorm7652]

As adults you can maturely disagree on politics. You don’t have to think the same on everything.

[@kathycannon4805]

When you talk about gender you’re not talking about what’s okay; you’re talking about who is okay. It’s not ideology; it’s biology.

[@Pipers_hooman]

Politics are way different than they used to be. It's to the point that it's all about morals and values. How do you live at peace with somebody that has such different values? Some of these things are just to the extreme when it comes to killing babies in the womb with zero limitations and the gender ideology stuff where they're mutilating children's genitals without their parents knowledge. I'm sorry these aren't things that you can just agree to disagree on anymore. I wouldn't want to be with somebody that has the values of a Democrat anymore. A couple decades ago Democrats were basically moderate Republicans. Now they're extreme radicals. How do you raise children in an environment where one is more traditional and the other one is radical? I don't see how it's possible. Not anymore. I'm in my 50s and it could have been possible probably back in my twenties but not the way things have changed now.

[@franziskani]

Republicans in the 1970s suported access to abortion, some - enough to pass laws. No one likes them. but the outcomes of unsafe abortions were even worse. And then people KNEW about the outcomes of backalley abortions, sometimes women dying painfully and slowly. Or mothers being killed by one too many pregnancies. Immediately after it became legal the death rates for newborns and pregnant women went down. Of course among other things high risk pregnancies or fetuses with defects were not carried to term.

[@franziskani]

You forgot to mention IVF - because if you are serious with your opposition towards abortions, then you must be equally opposed to IVF. - You realize that they have a lot of embryos that are sorted out (could be defect, weak, imperfect) and never get a chance to be implanted. And if they are lucky and they have a surplus of good fertilized eggs, they cannot use them all. donation is not going to change that. If it is the genetics of a stranger anyway, adoption is much less risky for wannabe parents. One can examine the kind, the pregnancy was successful. Implanting the eggs is expensive and takes a toll on the mother (incl. the common miscarriages, the hormon treatments) the pregnancy must be endured, and what if the child from an fertilized egg donation then has a congenital defect ? With adoption they at least know what they get.

[@debbiefloresaz5015]

Republicans are gone they are Maga

[@emmajones8590]

1. Killing babies in the womb with zero limitations. Doesn't happen. 2. Mutilating children's genitals without their parents knowledge. Doesn't happen. Something that I find strange though, is that a country (the USA) that is so paranoid about children's g3nitals being altered, has such a high rate of circumcisions of male infants, immediatly after birth. I know that Jews and Muslims do that for religious reasons, but a lot of Christians and not religious parents get it done for no particular reason at all.

[@Jrobidy2]

Yeah American politics are primarily about social issues that don’t involve you. Politicians literally just make these issues to make you mad and get you to vote and donate. Getting in a fight with your spouse already means you’ve lost, because 99% of the issues wouldn’t impact you any way…..

[@bettycoutts4739]

John I’m a therapist and I completely disagree with you. Couples need to share the same core values and should be open with each other about their politics.

[@oterosocram25]

What? you might want to consider anallyzing this again. Many issues involve us.

[@Jrobidy2]

@@bettycoutts4739 national social political issues shouldn’t be your core values. And it’s always those and not local issues that cause problems.

[@Jrobidy2]

@@oterosocram25 Abortion, gay marriage, immigration, transgender folks and every other culture war issue has literally never impacted my life in any way that I can think of. Having that cause fights with your spouse is truly moronic behavior.

[@bettycoutts4739]

@@Jrobidy2 huh? You don’t get it.

[@user-il2oy5kb7f]

Drink every time he calls his wife emotional

[@rational9229]

Evidence indicates that she is factually wrong, the family is safer with a gun than without (see the study conducted by the CDC under Biden). If it is her way or the highway, then I choose the highway because her irrationality and factual error is almost certain not to stop on this one issue but to extend to many areas where she has to "win."