My Wife Is Accusing Me Of Financial Abuse After Cutting Off Her Takeout Habit r/Relationships

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

The venom and rancor in OP’s update was weirdly enjoyable, even the blind and deaf can tell he’s just done with all this BS and I do hope he does put himself first for a change. People need to realize that sometimes it isn’t just a mental health issue, sometimes people are just selfish and horrible, though at the end of the day it isn’t OP’s problem anymore.

[@vamp567]

My jaw dropped the moment he started going off and I instantly knew that was YEARS of resentment finally unleashing itself

[@ComaLies225]

I loved it. Sometimes Redditors are wildly out of pocket with their assumptions. I’d be embarrassed personally…

[@reasonpeason847]

When I did the math and saw I’d have to put in 26 hours of overtime in a month to make up for the amount his wife spent on takeout hen I’ve never done more than 11 hours in a month… how clearly angry he was bothered me even less. I make a comfortable living wage only having to take care of myself and my own problems. Idk what boat OP is in but putting it in terms of how many hours (before tax and deductions) on top of regular 40 hour work weeks for the month really illustrates the point imo. Like you think you’re tired after just the 40 hours? Well now you have to put in 7 extra every week.

[@JasonDS64]

I think people forget that it's easy to say how people should react to something if they themselves are not dealing with it.

[@Bunny_Gee]

This. 100 times THIS.

[@Foxceptional]

Story 1 - Good for OP. I felt that rant on a deep level, honestly. There was something satisfying in hearing OP raw thoughts here.

[@maddydavidsdottir9862]

As a fat disabled woman with an eating D#sorder, I have to say, I 1000% completely understand WHY op is filled with such venom and I DO NOT blame him! I can also understand why op finally gives 0 Fs about helping his stbx wife I have had EDs my entire life, I was given ana ED by my narcissistic sociopath mother at age 6 until I was in my 20s and got pregnant, I had to take so many steroid medications and painkillers that affected my appetite and was on bed rest and wheelchair bound for years after a car accident and I gained weight, got depressed (naturally) and ended up with on over eating & comfort eating ED (yes! That IS a real ED! I was shocked too) and now I'm in recovery, again, and it took YEARS to get to this point. I still struggle, winter is the worst for me, I have chronic pain that gets worse in the cold and I tend to get seasonal depression so I have to work extra hard at winter BUT that is something I NEED to do and I do it. I don't blame anyone else, I used to. I blamed everything and everyone. It takes a lot of courage to face yourself and say "I have an eating d#sorder and I need help" ops stbx wife WILL get there but until she is willing to own up to her own misdeeds, she is just going to be a toxic pustule on all her relationships. That is NOT ops problem. Op is NOT the Ahole, op is NOT fatphobic, he is NOT abelist he has simply reached the end of his tether

[@Bunny_Gee]

Keep crushing

[@Draggonny]

Sometimes you have to reach rock bottom to really want help. I've been there with my depression. Support is lovely and helps a lot of people but some of us will only make the changes needed when we're cut off, alone, and desperate.

[@gabrielle4152]

I'm sorry for the amount of suffering you've been through. I have chronic pain too, and when it's bad, I'm not even a person, I can't reason or think about the future. All I seek is relief, and the only way to instantly change those neurotransmitters in that state are drugs and food. Before the pain, when I felt depressed, I would exercise, read, write, play guitar. Now I can't do any of that when I'm stuck in bed in pain. It's hard to not eat when it's the only relief. That said, I think OP was so kind and patient for so long and he needs to put himself first now. The wife most likely does have issues, mental and/or physical, but she's also a user and a manipulator. She doesn't see her husband as an actual human being with his own experience of the world, and she doesn't understand what being married means. It's not supposed to be a one-way street! There should be trust, honnesty, mutual love, respect and care for each other. Their relationship has nothing of that.

[@krystiharper]

Story1: she can drive? That makes it worse. She is addicted to the convience if ordering take out. She is essentially bored most people snack out of boredom and it turned into addiction.

[@Bunny_Gee]

She is probably super morbidly obese. She can find OF or TikTok weirdos can send her money to watch her eat. So, so dangerous and I can't believe it's so common.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

She does drive. In the update OP says that she drove to the restaurants with the money she got from the payday loan, to pick up the food herself instead of ordering it delivered.

[@krystiharper]

@hodgeelmwood8677 yeah I heard that that it was rhetorical. But it's mind blowing she can drive and she was using that app. I have a disability that prevents me from driving. I use delivery apps sparingly for the most part my husband keeps our place stocked not just groceries but cleaning supplies and anything else for the household. I mainly use it if my husband is on a business trip. For large bulky things like cat litter. Small things I can carry I take the bus. I might do take out once a month in those instances. My husband is usually gone for 6+months when he is gone for work.

[@melvinthewatermelon4459]

The tone change from mark trying to read chipotle to going back to reading the story was hilarious

[@NeitherSquid]

A daily reminder Mark butchers Spanish 😂

[@ellorasg4525]

Story 1: 1176$??? That is 97,850 rupees. That's basically twice of how much I get paid in my work monthly. 💀

[@Boundwithflame23]

A year of that is my entire car loan, give or take a couple hundred

[@AdmiralBlackstar]

TIL rupees aren't just a currency in Legend of Zelda.

[@F1fangirl96]

That’s half about half of what I get monthly and that would cover my part of the rent. 😫

[@mpumy]

Maaan!!! It like 18k in Rands and i am so broke i cant even afford 72 dollars for glasses at lensesmart 😂

[@lizthedisjointedzebra692]

Yeah, that's almost four hundred dollars MORE than our mortgage! That's insane.

[@FriedaMMartin]

Story 1: his wife is completely unhinged. The divorce was the right thing to do as she keeps escalating. I mean sheesh, he even bought microwavable meals! If they can’t afford takeout, they can’t afford takeout.

[@BersealiaDreamheart]

Story #1 - NTA, this sounds to me like an addiction that has nothing to do with any disability. In this case, OP’s STBX is addicted to buying takeout. And now she’s throwing a tantrum because she no longer has OP’s money to fuel her addiction. He did the right thing by divorcing her. The only thing I advise OP is to get a lawyer involved. Divorces caused by financial problems due to addictions are pretty complicated.

[@tallyp.7643]

It's a crazy bit of weird that even when you look at your finances and see the cliff rapidly approaching, sometimes you get this weird urge to INCREASE your bad spending because you think "might as well now because I can't later." You don't even realize that's your thought process til you sit down and think about it, just before or at the point you fall over the edge. It's irrational, but it happens. OP's wife is addicted to spending; her vice just happens to be takeout. I have had to fight my impulses in order to control my finances hard the past few years, and I'm on the edge of the cliff I've changed jobs recently and hopefully I can get some more stability that will allow me to back away from the edge and keep retreating. One of the first things I cut was the drive thru. And it shocked the hell out of me how much money I wasted on that stuff. I started looking in my pantries and cooking with what I have & when I calculate that one full takeout meal could pay for 5 of 6 made at home easily, or 8-10 homemade soups... sheesh. I could kick myself for my previous stupidity, but it'd be better if I just focused on never getting there again. OP's STBX is definitely lazy and in denial that the gravy train is drying up. Worse than that, self-sabotaging. She actually threw out perfectly good food in the house in order to force him to let her get takeout?! That's a whole 'nother level of nuts right there.

[@denises3630]

Id be checking both their credit scores and for any secret debts she is keeping from him. Definitely lawyer up

[@stan8479]

I wouldn't say it's not part of any disability. When you're so severely disabled that you can't do much in a day (which I'm not saying OP's ex is like that, but my wife is), food is a great way to find comfort and variety in a dull day. In that sense, addiction can absolutely be linked to disability.

[@VoidWalkerOblivion]

Its very much addiction behaviour. Its just unbelievable to read about behavior so maniacal. Clearly, something is very wrong with this STBX. I wish she'd get the help she needs. But we can't fix or save other people. They need to save themselves. OP has spent a long time trying to give her support so she can do that, and its burnt him out completely.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

I don't think buying takeout is a recognized addiction. She may indeed have an eating disorder, or be depressed enough to use takeout food as a coping mechanism, but she also sounds like a drama queen (remember her lying on the floor claiming low blood sugar despite a fridge and freezer packed with food). She's clearly unhappy in her marriage but instead of doing something like getting counseling, she just anesthetizes herself with takeout food. OP should not have to fund something that's doing neither of them any good, and she doesn't want to change.

[@Ace_AloneWolf]

Story 2: when will people learn? If your SO doesn’t want their family around, it’s for a REASON! So sick of these idiots pushing the “but faaaaaamleeeee” agenda

[@Snowshowslow]

But she wasn't pushing anything... She asked to invite his sister and he said yes. Honestly, that's on him. She absolutely sounds like she would have respected a no.

[@1tommyday]

My Dad does this. But he's your brother. Yeah dad your brother is schizophrenic and dangerous and you want nothing to do with him. But it's different for me

[@DaBaseBallZ]

Story 2:Well,Now you know why he said his sister was also a crapper,OP. Update:Good job,OP. May y'all live a good life away from those crappers

[@shadowkissed2370]

WTF does agoraphobia have to do with shoveling fast food in your face none stop to your own detriment? I have agoraphobia, it doesn't force me to use my money on fast friggen food!

[@Gumbier_Than]

I think someone mentioned it in the comments as one of the things causing the wife's issues with her ordering so much takeaway.

[@lizthedisjointedzebra692]

Well, you likely aren't a dramatic, entitled asshole🤷

[@scarlettg.5772]

I think it's the fact she wouldn't drive or leave the house to go get take out at all at first. People probably thought she might have a fear of leaving the house too.

[@Draggonny]

Maybe if there wasn't food at home someone with agoraphobia would get delivery instead of going to a busy supermarket but they had food at home. She was throwing out perfectly good food as an excuse to buy takeaway. Claiming she was having hypoglycemia when there was food in the kitchen. She might have agoraphobia as well but that diagnosis wouldn't explain choosing takeaway over home cooked meals.

[@star3catcherSEQUEL]

I think that person's "logic" was that she must order takeout to avoid going outside, but they clearly didn't pay attention because OP clearly states that he stocks the fridge full of food she likes and yet she orders out anyway, even before the update where he explains she has been going to drive thrus. It seems most likely she's got an eating disorder, but she clearly isn't willing to get any help for it, so OP has every right to put his foot down.

[@danielhance1467]

S1:I know EXACTLY what this man is going through. My dad was raised in a poor, single mother household with 6 brothers and sisters, and food was hard to come by. As a result of his food insecurity he spiraled into what can only be considered extreme food addiction. If meals weren’t prepared and put on the table EXACTLY on the normal food serving times, he would explode and become so angry and irate that I’ve been in a few fist fights with him because he would start verbally abusing my sister and mom, and in my attempt defend them and get him to see reason, he would become more irate. We couldn’t go grocery shopping with him either. It would take HOURS because he has to look at every. Single. Product! He would become terrified that we weren’t getting enough, and that if he didn’t look at everything then he might realize later that we would need it and it would ruin whatever meal that it MIGHT be for, and then he won’t eat, and then he’ll starve, and would often times mentally degrade in real time and star panicking, which then led to angry outbursts. Yes that’s exactly his thinking after he started therapy. Then we started finding his secret stashes of food,candy wrappers, and fast food bags. Because of overweight he was it strained his knees and back so badly that he couldn’t walk, and now needs knee replacement surgery. Even After he got his gastric sleeve, he couldn’t shake is obsession with food, and still tries to over eat and ends getting sick and vomiting. Food addiction is real and this man did the right thing

[@etcetera1995]

Well for one thing he shouldn't have gotten a gastric sleeve. As you see it didn't help. It never helps.

[@viddergrapho8488]

@@etcetera1995 surgery doesn't help until the therapy starts working. It's why I'll never get surgery. I can eat normally, but there are plenty of days where I'll binge enough for 4 meals, then snack the next time I'm hungry. Even when I portion things I still find myself eating multiple servings because there's a hole that, if not filled with food, will be filled with plenty of bad things on the days where my self control is low.

[@Becks-and-books]

There’s a reason people who grow up food insecure often have problems with their weight as adults. It’s psychologically damaging and causes deep scars. They’ll always be scared there’s not enough

[@danielhance1467]

@@etcetera1995 it helped him to lose weight, but didn’t help his addiction to food which he still struggles with because he pukes so much from trying to overeat. Seeing an addiction specialist was the real secret sauce

[@danielhance1467]

@@Becks-and-books facts

[@Mia-dt3gl]

Paying off the payday loan should work in OP’s favor in the divorce.

[@Draggonny]

She has no income so he was going to end up paying it one way or another. He was smart to just get it over with right away before the massive interest rates made that impossible.

[@Mia-dt3gl]

@@Draggonny Paying off the payday loan will prove that OP isn’t leaving her in a financial lurch. With the right lawyer he may be able to get alimony off the table.

[@Figcity]

The nerve it takes to be financially supported while not even being able to handle grocery shopping.

[@ladylibra3404]

Story 2: I don't understand how people think they are so special that they alone are gonna change the hearts and minds of a toxic family...

[@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse]

Honestly I think bad rom-coms and made for tv movies have a lot to do with it. Just the right speech about "love and forgiveness" then everyone apologizes, hugs, cries and suddenly everything is fixed.

[@ashh4929]

Story 1: Dude, it sounds like he just hit the epiphany breaking point. Sounds like he's finally fully venting. And people, just because people have an "explanation," it doesn't qualify as an excuse.

[@shaetoons3602]

Story 1: I get it could be a mental health issue with the wife, but it honestly sounds like she was just an ungrateful leech, and Op made the right decision divorcing her.

[@miniman649]

it can be both. Mental illness does not make one innocent of the wrongs they commit. The wife can be mentally ill and still be an ungrateful leech that deserves to be alone and without love or care.

[@TheCryptidBun]

I had someone living with me paying 450$ in rent and 500$+ on door dash for themselves. He decided to vague post on Facebook about how horrible I was and how I did nothing but took all his money when he left.

[@WolfyFancyLads]

Story 2: Anyone else got annoyed at how often she said "Norway"? I feel like that's a set up, like she thinks someone is watching the thread and she's like "NORWAY. IT'S IN NORWAY." and then they go somewhere else.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

Plot twist: it was a fake story sponsored by the Norwegian tourist board ;D

[@minisnakali]

Honestly, I'm from norway and it felt so weird to hear how she repeated norway over and over like a broken record it was weird

[@anthenadragontiger]

@@minisnakali she is covering her bases i had toxic realatives that would stalk me irl and on sm on any of my accounts plus even if op's post was vague the people she was talking about will know especially if this blows up on tt yt or even podcasts if it gets back to so's family that way they will be misinformed especially if she repets this everyhere.

[@ladydamiana6841]

Her whole post and updates indicate she's at least an ELL; she doesn't use English correctly. Or maybe it's a Norwegian bot.

[@olispaamv]

@@anthenadragontiger true, what if the wedding is actually in sweden 🤔

[@Itscaitlinyo]

Was feeling like I needed a win, then somehow opened KZbin within the first minute this was posted. Sometimes it’s the little things that keep you going 🧡

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Noo! After reading the title I really thought this was going to be an update to the story from last week where the mum looked into a couple's spending habit cuz they were spending too much and then the wife got angry cuz she couldn't go without her takeouts and daily Starbucks 😬

[@maurer3d]

Story 1: NTA, takeout food is an unnecessary luxury, and spending nearly $40 a day on it is insane. If your wife wants to pend that kind of money on luxuries she needs to get a job and work for it. Story 1 (update): How the F did she get a payday loan, without proof of her income? Time for a divorce dude, the only thing I can think of is her bringing you pay slips and claiming they were hers.. You should not have paid off her loan, that was her responsibility.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

Payday loan companies just want to hook people in, they probably don't check very well.

[@poppycopter]

Story 1: This is so crazy to me. I have actual medical issues that have cost me thousands of dollars over the past few years, I support myself and live alone, and I only order takeout twice a week. The rest of the time I make my own food.

[@supremeturtle1186]

People hear the words "disabled woman" and thinks that gives them a free pass to be an asshole

[@clairebear-96]

Mark your 2nd try on Chipotle was just about perfect!

[@catnoir1333]

Story 1: I'm glad OP left her, cause she had perfectly fine food in the fridge or could have gotten a job. I don't understand the want of 1000+ dollar a month take outs.

[@tiryaclearsong421]

It's some kind of addiction.

[@bonnie.f]

Just about to hop in my car for my 1 hour commute to work. This is the kind of thing that gets me going on a cold morning

[@gunnargislason5221]

The first story sounds like a serious case of food addiction and/or BED. These are very serious and possibly lethal disorders that require medical intervention. The most messed up thing is that there is an entire community online of people claiming that these disorders aren't real and that eating junk food every day isn’t bad for you. It's very easy for people to fall into that eccho chamber and enable each other until it's too late to change. I don't blame the guy for leaving but I really hope his (ex) wife can get help for her disorder. Nobody deserves to live like that.

[@lizthedisjointedzebra692]

I am actually disabled, and still work full time🙄 Sure, not all disabilities are equal, but if she allegedly can't even microwave a tv dinner, she needs to go into assisted living. Wonder how she would like that... She just sounds dramatic and entitled. And that tantrum was ridiculous, he is married to a child.

[@mygrandma3041]

Yes, I respect that. I hope you are doing better in life. Keep it up.

[@lovedrreid1]

I'm assuming you have Ehlers Danlos based on your username. I have Classic-Like EDS. And I understand the whole "not all disabilities are equal" but I'd say us zebras are pretty far up there considering our illness causes issues with every part of our bodies! I also work full time and go to school full time so I don't give that much grace to people who use their disability as an excuse to not do anything with their life.

[@lizthedisjointedzebra692]

@lovedrreid1 yep, currently diagnosed with hEDS(due to the literal dozens of knee dislocations over the past twenty five years), but my doctor thinks I have vEDS😨 Not happy about that, but since my sister had genetic testing done for it last year and is positive, I need to be tested now, too 😣 I am dreading it, I am so sick of collecting diagnoses like they are Pokemon. I usually just charge ahead, and ignore the pain as best I can. It's usually 4-7 on a normal day. Sunday, though... The warm front in the Midwest was about to come through, so the change in barometric pressure absolutely killed me, I was in soooo much pain. I wasn't sure if I could make it through work. It just pisses me off that people like OP's wife totally takes for granted that she is able to not work, and just sabotages themselves.

[@dindog22]

I have discomfort and exhaustion all the time and I manage to work full time

[@ebayrose]

Story 1: OP needs to get a legal financial separation sorted with a lawyer immediately then lock down all his credit. Get the wife to sign sole responsibility for any debt she incurs going forward as soon as possible and start sleeping in a separate room even if it means turning the lounge area into your bedroom. Take pics as proof and never sleep with her again as doing so can be a seen as a form of reconciliation in court and might restart your separation timeline in the eyes of the law. Since you're married you won't be able to sue her for any financial drainage before the divorce was started. Also start the actual filing for the divorce as soon as possible or you may have to worry about another payday loan on your credit. Just get started immediately and consult a lawyer.

[@madambutterfly1997]

That last bit about her being a lazy mooch and a sloth was glorious

[@Callimo]

He wasn't wrong, that's for sure. Addictions are no joke, especially addictions to things we need like food or money. But it's not OP's responsibility to carry his ex wife.

[@madambutterfly1997]

@@Callimo shame on her for developing an addiction and expecting other people to pick up the slack

[@Callimo]

@madambutterfly1997 I have no idea what you mean by this. Addictions just happen. But how you react to realizing you have an issue says a lot.

[@madambutterfly1997]

@Callimo cheetahs who get caught say it just happens nothing just happens anymore. Cause and effect exist. Saying things just happen is declaring that cause doesn't exist there's only a fact and that's not true.

[@miniman649]

@@Callimo eh, not entirely right. Addictions can hit people at random, but said people always have to take the first 'hit' as they call it. A person that never had drugs don't just randomly become addicted to drugs. They always take the first step on their own.

[@RayvenLunaNite]

$1176 is 500 short of my 2 bed, 2 bath apartment rent! That's not just expensive, that's an addiction and a health hazard

[@aduckofsomesort]

The way she got approved for the loan is because it’s a predatory loan and they will take anyone.

[@haroldvazquez]

Story 3: I really despise it when people don't listen to their partner when they state that their family is toxic smh OP should have listened.

[@ImaNerdANDaGeek]

I didn't know a fast food addiction could get as bad as a heroin addiction, but putting yourself in debt when you have other food in the house is more than just a bad habit.

[@moonlightdragondc]

Story 1: I have anxiety, depression, autism, agoraphobia, and migraines that can cause vertigo, and i can still cook or warm up meals in the freaking microwave. Sure i do order in sometimes, but only if we literally have no food in the fridge i can eat. The ex-wife is just lazy and using her disability as an excuse. It might have started as genuinely being tired and unable to cook, but clearly she's now just addicted and used to not having to lift a finger for her food. The fact she could drive outside to get food proves that she's addicted. There are people with disabilities who hate being burdens, but there are those like her who see it as an opportunity to leech. Poeple like her are the reason that good people with disabilities are seen as lazy Sorry for possibly sounding angry, but the story struck a nerve with me

[@sam2x13]

Story 2: it's not that you didn't understand how your husband grew up, but it's how you disrespected his wishes about the matter. Now it sounds like you're making excuses on why you went behind his back and contacted his sister even though he asked you not to. All because in my opinion you knew better.

[@aaronbickerstaff8984]

I lost any small miniscule amount of sympathy I had for the wife when he said he even did the grocery shopping. Like what does this chick actually do or bring to the table for OP? There's no benefit for OP to even be married at this point

[@carlrood4457]

A burger & fries from even a moderately priced restaurant could be $15, easily. Add in delivery fees and tip and it could get to $25. That there is $750 for a month and probably more.

[@maurer3d]

Story 2: Wow what a toxic crap-show of a family.... My advice hire security for the wedding and have his parents and sister arrested if they show up and refuse to leave. Sadly narcissists like his sister and parents can't fathom being wrong. Story 2 (update): Good things worked out, just be sure to cross those T(s) and dot those I(s), American citizens marrying over seas need to be sure everything is right so the marriage is legal when you get home, and you don't get a surprise 10 years later that it didn't go thru correct.

[@paulastiles5507]

Agreed on both fronts. Marriage visas can be super-messy for anyone trying to come to the U.S.

[@BritInvLvr]

Story one. I completely empathize with OP. Sometimes with some people, you get to the end the rope where you can feel sorry for someone who is taking advantage of you. My brothers would call me heartless and a B for not loaning them money or my car. But after never getting paid back and my car coming back scratched, dirty and no gas? They can call me what they want or think what they want. Good for OP for standing up for himself. I applaud anyone who can do what is sometimes hard for your own financial, mental and emotional health.

[@juliebiggerbear7300]

Story 1. As a person who suffers with serious mental health issues and is actually on disability, my heart goes out to the OP. His soon to be ex has completely lost touch with reality. I understand that food can be such an easy comfort, but not to the tune of $1100 a month! That would be an insane amount for groceries, much less takeout for just one person. Hope this is the wake up she needs, and hope OP does better too.

[@Swnsasy]

Nope! Spending that much money because she's too damn lazy to cook is ridiculous!! I would do the exact same thing, cut her off or allowance! $1100 in one month for food?! It's not financial abuse, she's overspending and lazy!! Nta! Let her be mad or you won't be able to afford bills!! That is insane! That is millions of people's rent, mortgage!! She sounds like an addict!!

[@F1fangirl96]

Would also make me worry about her damn health. She basically got to the point she was eating fast food for almost every meal. That is screaming high cholesterol

[@Swnsasy]

@@F1fangirl96 Omgosh, right?! Her throwing herself on the ground for "low blood sugar," was off the charts!!

[@tallyp.7643]

I'd be kissing the feet of anyone who handed me a check for 1100 dollars right now. That's half my homeowner's insurance OR it could cover all my month's bills (minus credit cards) with gas, groceries, pet food taken care of, too. Blowing all that on just TAKEOUT?! nuts.

[@F1fangirl96]

@@tallyp.7643 right? My husband and I will order take out every now and then but bills always come first. We don’t even come close to that much

[@Ullabulladulla]

Wow reddit as always defends women like they have no agency. She was clearly a horrible partner. 😅😅😅

[@ProdigyAngel33_Nagichan]

The only thing that rubbed me the wrong way was the way OP speaks about disability, but given the situation I understand his anger. It might have helped to get her to a therapist specializing in addiction and eating disorders...but at the same time, his wife is the one who needs to realize she has a problem. I hope OP finds some peace in the divorce.

[@DaBaseBallZ]

Yeah,No crap

[@dandotvid]

@@ProdigyAngel33_Nagichan He's likely fed up and probably knows the situation. He said it's minor and that she can work. She, however, has chosen to milk the disability for all she can and he is sick of it. I doubt he thinks that way about all disabilities.

[@lina9535]

Not always. I've seen both sides. Sometimes the commenters seem to have no clue what's going on. Like one story could be pretty obvious that the woman has done nothing wrong, but some will roast her and blame her for everything. Or it's clear the woman is at fault, and some will defend her like she's their queen or something. I'm 90% sure that some people just read the "this is why I think I might be the AH", skipping the post itself.

[@koniroseroyval5278]

I have not reached a comment YET were the people are on the wife's side.

[@nexutus8073]

S1: At this point OP's STBXW has to be treated like an addict and not as a partner on the same level as OP. Not restricting her avaiable assets will enable her addiction and there will never be an end to it, because she refuses to change. It sounds pretty heartless but, OP's desicions is absolutely valid. He refuses to go down with this ship that is obiously sinking. I personally wouldn't stay when my partner has given up or is not even willing to try.

[@ImaNerdANDaGeek]

She is certainly acting like an addict. I didn't know fast food addictions could get to a comparable level as a heroin addiction.

[@paulastiles5507]

Wife definitely sounds like a food addict. But when he mentioned that he had a sister who was a heroin addict, I thought, "Oh, dude, you just married your sister, that's all." I hope he gets some therapy to avoid repeating that pattern and ending up with another deadbeat. He deserves better.

[@dm9078]

Story 2 WTF is wrong with these people who don’t listen to their spouse when it comes to their family. He warned her about the sister but she didn’t listen. Charles is sort of right but the problem isn’t just his toxic family

[@precious_toebeans]

Egregious spending when asked to stop is its own form of financial aboose, and then getting a PAY DAY LOAN, wow. What a hypocrite

[@ToughBeifong]

Geez that first story. I have a full-on physical disability that doesn't allow me to drive anymore but that doesn't give me an excuse to be lazy and take advantage of people. I am still capable of remote work and disabled people are just people and can be like everyone else. Having a disability is no excuse for being a piece of crap human being.

[@Icalasari]

Honestly, if it is disability, then that level is WAAAY above OP's paygrade. Literally, in this case. I will advocate for folks who are disabled til the cows come home, but I also understand somebody can't set themselves on fire to help somebody who does not want to be helped

[@erinisler1255]

She spent almost what I make for a whole month on takeout. Holy crap.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

1) And meanwhile I'm terrified of ever having takeout simply because I've watched videos where delivery drivers have secretly ate and then covered up eating the food. Can't imagine being addicted to it 😐 why couldn't the girl be addicted to cooking only spicy foods or couponing the food they were already going to get???

[@Boundwithflame23]

Story 2 + update Yeah, OP eff’d up a little but it did turn out well in the end. Sounds like she and Charles have a fine future ahead of them

[@angeleyesgreen1586]

Story 1: wife clearly doesn't understand what financial abuse is as she's abusing the op in this way

[@marleymorningstar3671]

If I had an extra $1,200 right now, it could literally change my life, and she's literally throwing that in her gob every month??? That's absolutely crazy.

[@crowdemon_archives]

@@marleymorningstar3671 that extra $1200 for me could be used for my fam's vacations and bills!

[@PuppyKatt]

Story 1: Bless you, OP. You have been through a lot with the lazy hippo, and now it is time for her to feed herself. Good luck to you in the future. Not all women are like that.

[@Kinsfire]

In that last story, I can see that the SIL is going to be FURIOUS that she can't destroy her brother's wedding the way she wanted to.

[@GMWILD87]

Story 1 I'm on disability I only get 900 and something a month I pay my rent I buy my groceries and I live a pretty you know small life so someone spending more than I get on takeout is unfathomable I'll go once a month and get something from a fast food place that's a treat for me it's insane that somebody like OP wife could even think that this was a fucking smart thing.

[@kizzy8581]

I was just looking for something to watch! Thanks for the upload 😍 Me and my pup will enjoy now

[@kg5626]

Story#2: That wife sounds like my partner's ex. She spent $600 on Starbucks alone in 3 months, $1300 on various takeout in that same time period. The behavior was completely unreasonable because they were in debt and she refused to work.

[@wildfyah]

What the hell? A payday loan for fast food? That's wild

[@lukejackson2354]

Story 1: She acts like a teenager with her husband as the annoying dad “ruining her life”. Which makes the fact they have or had a s*x life disgusting.

[@diamcole]

She's unemployed and doing all this?!

[@threeducks157]

I was going to say wtf that’s so much money! But my wife just looked at me tapping the Lego sets I got in the mail yesterday… which is just about the same lol. Wait wtf?? A loan? I know I love spending on Lego but I can afford it from my fun money I don’t ever affect my family…

[@Yeshuah6]

Yeah but you aren't eating the legos

[@threeducks157]

@@Yeshuah6 yes… I’m definitely not eating them…totally…

[@judyjohnson9610]

That's the difference. Your Legos are from your fun money. Not dipping into the family's assets.

[@teddybrillen8033]

​@@threeducks157I love how this implies that you not only eat them some other day, but also that you may have eaten a set or two before (with the context of the story). Also, not me getting the same exact feeling when I think about how I put a bittersweet hundred bugs (€ in my case) on getting an Omnibus Batman book. At least I am not going to eat that either... for now. (I'll just gorge my eyes out at the beautiful artwork and story's from Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale and guard the book like a dragon hoarding her treasures alongside all my other comics.)

[@Yeshuah6]

@@threeducks157 🤨

[@misslauren6798]

The unfortunate part of story # 1: If/when he divorces her, she will probably be awarded alimony seeing how she was a stay at home wife. That sucks! But hopefully she ends up having to pay bills/rent with it and she has to learn to value money more/better.

[@anthonygilmour6236]

True but even with alimony he'll be more financially stable than with that bulbous brat. 🤷

[@Bunny_Gee]

Food addiction is real. She is going to die if she keeps eating that amount of garbage calories. She makes a mockery of people like me who actually have a disability and collect benefits but would kill to be normal and not feel pain every day. F her.

[@duderobi]

Yes its also finencial abuse when you take all the money for your lazyness

[@ChronicallyMichelle1995]

Story 1: people making excuses using mental health issues needs to stop. It’s not an excuse you are responsible for your actions. Everyone also seems to believe they have to have a mental health issues as if it’s some sort of badge of honour or something. It’s ridiculous

[@kristelneedtoknow3207]

Story one. The moment she got the payday loan divorce would have been the only choice for me. This is insane, she was beyond help and was insanely useless.

[@nativewarmask9861]

Story one, I'm not even done with the story yet, and I have thoughts, one, I have a friend who does this, he orders takeout pretty much daily. Its justification is he's partially blind, and so he doesn't know where everything is in his kitchen, and he lives with his grandparents, before anyone says anything, I am totally blind. I am perfectly capable of cooking, I do not understand this need to live on takeout due to laziness, because that is truly what I believe it is. I mean, literally in the next three lines I could give him a crockpot recipe for a really good chicken soup, or pork chili, or a good way to season a pork steak to make in an oven, I mean, there's so many things, so I completely understand and his frustration with the situation.

[@genevievemeuniere4047]

Story #1... the wife is addicted. She has serious other troubles if the copes that hard with food.

[@brie1162]

Dear Marc, in the first story, you’re pronunciation of chipotle the second time was spot on well done

[@DaBaseBallZ]

Story 1:Cooking exists for a reason,She has issues (And No,those issues aren't preventing her from cooking). NTA Update:Good job,OP. May you live a good life away from that waster

[@bookgirl2]

OP1 needs to get some therapy himself before he tries dating again, so he doesn't drag these sensitivities into his next relationship. Divorce was exactly the right thing here, and none of this is his fault. But it's made him so angry, and he needs to get rid of the ex-wife's poison before he tries again.

[@mysticaccy]

Omfg! A loan for food delivery?!! I get doordash also but most of the time ordering takeout can get boring... I guess I'm getting older where i now rather cook my food. Thank goodness OP is divorcing that PIG

[@raayvenwolfgirl5539]

Story 2 would be break up worthy for me. If my soon to be husband invited my toxic family to our wedding, I would nope the heck out. No means no. The toxic family don't take that as a no, and it sounds like OP in story 2 also doesn't understand what No means. Not a good start.

[@ImaNerdANDaGeek]

Yeah, I have seen other reddit stories where the partner did something similar and it was relationship breaking. More than once, too.

[@dannietea]

Story 1: NTA. If she wants to spend $1000+ a month on takeout, she can get a job. If she “can’t” get a job out of the house, then good news! They have remote jobs nowadays. She has no excuse.

[@ArthropodJay]

You said chipotle right the 2nd time!

[@tashahantz4643]

Story 1- my rent Is $1,141. I can't imagine that on take out!

[@kathyniebylski6735]

If I were to be a STAW, I would not even think of ordering takeout. I would absolutely do everything I could with the house and only get something small for myself every few months.

[@teddychu1177]

Story 1: When your addiction to being a takeout shopaholic makes your behavior even worse than a hard drug user, there’s no hope.

[@DMFP42]

Dude needs to avoid getting married to that woman. She's shown that she has zero care and respect for him. She completely ignored him until it affected her. She will abuse him again.

[@crystalweible152]

I am a woman who recently moved and started mentalpause at the same time, I do not spend a dime without consulting my husband. I don't work so we are living off his income and our savings are outta bounds. Our security is more important than f'n take out!

[@loganjoh1]

$1176 in 1 month on fast food is insane that is only about $100 less than I pay in rent she is financially abusing OP

[@ellorasg4525]

I absolutely adore your opening animation. So adorable. 😍💗 Thank you for the video and adorable animation.

[@Russman67]

At almost $40 a day just on takeout, alimony is a bargain. It doesn't sound like the guy is making a ton of money and if she can't prove a disability, he'll be through it soon.

[@jam1494]

Imagine taking out a loan to buy Taco Bell and McDonald's... That woman is insane.

[@clairenollet2389]

Wow. I treat myself to $600-$700 a YEAR on takeout, and I thought THAT was excessive.

[@dizzysdoings]

Just finished some crocheting, now getting ready to eat breakfast while listening to Mark. Sounds good to me.

[@Gumbier_Than]

I always found people who can crochet quite impressive.

[@dizzysdoings]

@@Gumbier_Than I'm more impressed by the people who can knit. 😂

[@musiccmann]

s1: This sounds a lot like a friend of mine but unfortunately her and her wife are both addicted to take out, they’re over $10k in debt but order doordash every single day.

[@Enderslegend]

Story 1: I love OP. The amount of bullshit comments you find on AITA need to be called out more often. The only person that’s going to have a glow up in that divorce is OP.

[@GMWILD87]

Story 2 I'd have left OP.

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

I love that OP in story 2 learned. That's what we want to see waffles!

[@nativewarmask9861]

Story one, I just got to the first update, first of all, that number is ridiculous as to how much food she's buying, second, people really need to stop buying these words around abuse, and things of that nature, regardless of the type of abuse, because what that does is it waters down the impact of those words, you are either asking people to treat every single Allegation of this with extreme prejudice, or what is more likely going to happen as people are going to start hearing these words and subconsciously minimizing what the person actually means and disregarding it, thus putting someone who's actually in a financial situation or physical situation in a position where they can't get help, the boy who cried wolf anyone.

[@lorrainemontagnon1537]

Hello and good morning waffle gang! 🧇 Hugs and love to everyone, rock on Mark! ❤❤❤❤

[@loridetweiler1345]

This first story really pissed me off. Claiming low blood sugar! Aa a diabetic I HATE when people use this as an excuse! Especially if they have a working pancreas!

[@believeinshadows139]

The first story makes me mad on a personal level. I’m disabled and cat work. I often find it hard to do average daily tasks including cooking and cleaning. Most people think I’m a lazy pig and don’t think I deserve the little support that I do have. So please like the OPs wife make me seriously angry. People like her genuinely make my and other disabled peoples lives even more difficult. We are compared to people like that on the regular and it’s exhausting.

[@claytonfitzgerald782]

Thanks mate 😃

[@Jenifer_R_]

A wedding dress from 1988... think of the shoulder pads!

[@sophdog2564]

You got chipotle right the second time mark! Chip-oat-lay