My Wife thinks I have a low sex drive. Truth is…

[@juanhaines7295]

I heard this one before. The comments were making up every excuse under the sun for the wife. That she has depression, hormone imbalance yada yada yada. If the roles were reversed they'd be screaming at her to leave him high and dry.

[@magnetboy]

So true mate I also love all your suggestions I’ve seen you on other channels as well😊

[@bodhisatwakundu2226]

My man is everywhere 💀

[@BronzeDragon133]

Let's be blunt. Quite a fair percentage of online commenters will happily scream down anybody supporting a man in favor of a woman. Screw them in any case where the woman is in the wrong, as she clearly is here (and is about half the time, let's face it). Our man needs to move on and that became the case the instant "didn't love [him] anymore" dribbled out of her mouth.

[@MrToubrouk]

Misandry is a thing.

[@Vida7354]

Very true, they woiuld insult his manhood on every way possible

[@crazycornishcrafter]

Based on this, I kind of hate the wife. OP engages in so much housework, helps care for the children, provides for her financially and intimately. She's a fool.

[@letsseetofindout2560]

@@heinzkitzvelvetThat's a little disrespectful, don't you think?

[@heinzkitzvelvet]

@@letsseetofindout2560 which part? Not a fool? Or just a woman? Because the original commenter called her the pejorative. I disagreed and called her what she is, a woman. So which part should I think is disrespectful?

[@letsseetofindout2560]

@@heinzkitzvelvet My assumption was that you were implying all women are like that.

[@heinzkitzvelvet]

@@letsseetofindout2560 You didn't answer my question(s).

[@MollyHJohns]

​@@letsseetofindout2560 dude is definitely sexist. One woman did this and he blames it on her being a woman so she did it because.

[@Crunchy166]

that father in law is a chad for coming to hear your side of the story without letting his emotions get in the way

[@dravenocklost4253]

Seriously, that's a rare trait. Gigachad FIL

[@monejohn9973]

Lol 😅 That's not a chad ..a Chad is the stuck up full of himself. Gym rat white dude who loves extreme sports. Her dad is just a gentleman. A reasonable logical man, not a chad😅

[@gavinfarris7624]

😆👍

[@lilithrodgers4997]

This is such a devastating story. He seems like such a genuinely good guy and she sounds like an utter monster. Bits and pieces of this story remind me of my parents.

[@jaelaknown]

I’m pretty sure they are a lesbian couple no? I may have missed somthing

[@_rune]

@@jaelaknownthis man said husband how many times 💀

[@Amenimun]

@@jaelaknown "I’m pretty sure they are a lesbian couple no? I may have missed somthing" I'm pretty sure it's a man (5:20)

[@juliearmfield2634]

Women don't respect a man that does not set boundaries and have enough respect for himself to stick to those boundaries.

[@remrem-gx3ml]

facts. things like "happy wife happy life" and "choose your battles" are poison to good men. you want to treat your girlfriend or wife right but all you know is that your supposed to sacrifice your happiness for theirs. be patient. dont yell thats toxic, wanting your needs fulfilled is wrong and inapropriate. you arent owed physical intimacy so you have no right to complain. who cares if your back hurts or you get sick suck it up. get back to work. someone has to put food on the table. how dare you ask her to get a job your a man you should provide. so on and so forth en infinitum. then you have to learn the hard way how to stand up for yourself responsibly. how to be resolute. be assertive. express your emotions not just by stating them but my showing them. that its okay to have wants and needs and its okay to walk away if they arent being met. that not tolerating disrespect is okay and doesnt make you a bad guy. that doing all these healthy things keeps the bad people out and helps you find the one you love. its extremely difficult and complex and hard to grasp. especially if you grew up in an abusive house hold where you were treated as if you dont matter.@@juliearmfield2634

[@hugomalacalza8977]

News for those who didnt follow this saga. HE DIVORCE HER YAY!! The hilarious thing is that in the end apparently when she realize he was serious, she started to be more affectionate. Good for him EDIT: for the people asking, just Google the title and it Will come out

[@Juupitrr]

how awful of her..

[@Vida7354]

Who got the kids, i hope him because she literally proved shge knew whast she was doing but she was just to lazy to do anything herself

[@theresawolfamongus2572]

Can you link his thread or something? I wanna read up on it myself

[@qq84]

@@theresawolfamongus2572 KZbin doesn't like links, but he could post the name of the thread.

[@theresawolfamongus2572]

​@@qq84either way im hoping for him to leave SOME kinda trail behind lol

[@blastfromth3p4st]

"I didn't raise her like that." i feel so bad for her dad dude

[@Saspuer26]

Honestly, props to the dad. It takes a big man to say that. A smaller man would have reacted differently.

[@dragonmaster1360]

@blastfromth3p4st The worst part is... He DID raise her like that. He did something wrong in her childhood, or she wouldn't have turned out like that. Maybe we need more information about her parents, I'd bet there's some iffy stuff going on there, too.

[@MrAranton]

@@dragonmaster1360 Unless he was a single father her mother would have had a quite significant role in raising her, too.

[@nkarma_]

​@@dragonmaster1360Parents can be the best parents in the world, but some kids will turn out shitty. It's not always the parents fault.

[@ryanh7167]

​@@dragonmaster1360 you can't just assume that. People can do everything in their power for things to go right and it still goes wrong.

[@Buldogg345]

Dude didn't marry a woman, he married a cat. I bet after the divorce the wife will come crawling to him. OP is a catch in every way. I can't imagine what he saw in this woman to even consider marrying her. Wouldn't he get full custody? I mean, he does everything. It sounds like he's both the breadwinner and the main caregiver.

[@lampostsamurai2518]

Didn't even take her til divorce. His last update was that she has convinced herself there will be no divorce and is going back to "good wife" mode

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

If he can gets his hands on his wife's depression diagnosis (which she now uses as excuse to neglect him) he might be able to use it in the custody battle.

[@nekomataumbreon]

Don't insult cats like this please

[@Buldogg345]

@@nekomataumbreon My bad. Sorry, but I thought of specifying a type of pet that behaves like that. I even thought of comparing her to a spoiled kid. My point is that this woman behaves like a selfish pet. A human would bring OP something other than wasting his time.

[@lazyclover0791]

While he should get the kids he's not the mom so chances are he's only get weekends unless the mom wants full custody.

[@1019bulldog]

Honestly for me the minute that she said that "she didn't love me anymore" would've been GG for me. I get relationships tend to have rough patches but when your partner is willing to outright say that they don't love you anymore. What is the point in continuing with this relationship. OP was literally holding the whole thing together and taking a ton of abuse just to do it. Hope everything goes well for the OP and that they come out on top in the divorce proceedings.

[@13thAline]

I think he was just terrified of the fact of losing his kids (like not literally but like not being able to see them every morning and being just a guy who comes to see their kids from time to time)

[@yesthatmousyiris4887]

I think people forget how court favors women over men,@@13thAline

[@75SuperMario]

That would have killed any affection/passion/dedication that I gave her but I wouldn't leave. I would have looked her dead in the eyes and responded, "I don't care if you don't 'love love' me, but if you continue to disrespect me then I'm leaving." As long as I start getting the 'needs' met and the children are raised right then it doesn't matter. You're priority is with the children first, but you can't allow them to see that disrespect occurring right in front of them.

[@monejohn9973]

😅 I knew a self-proclaimed nice guy like this. Who purposely got a woman He found very beautiful pregnant the first month and first time they had sex(trapped her)then.....after she hated him Resented and regretted him for it. They already wasn't having sex before they got married .....n months later. They got married and they still barely have sex but a few times a year, which is his fault. And he's a cry baby like this person too. Sometimes people set themselves up for failure. If you weren't getting it before the marriage, then why marry them?😅 F00LS 😅

[@NoNo-xh7ru]

I fully support the husband here but I’m just at a loss for words at how he let this relationship last as long as it did to the point of marriage and having kids. It sounds like he does all the chores, makes all the money, takes care of the kids most of the time, and the wife does nothing. Why would any sane man tolerate that?

[@leehalloway8787]

The OP seems to have super low self esteem. He needs to get that fixed before he begins dating again.

[@remrem-gx3ml]

never been married but speaking as a man who went through something with similar with my ex fiancee, you kind of hope the person you fell in love is still in there some where and that one day they will wake up and remember how much you love each other. loyalty is a double edged sword. to me marriage sacred and so is love so if i thought there was even a chance to fix things i would endure any hell. i dont regret it either because i know there was nothing i could have done. i tried everything and in the end she rather be with her abusive ex. i am proud of myself for keeping true to my morals and ideals she most likely lays awake at night wondering what her children would have looked like if they were mine and not her abusive husbands. I on the other hand drink mountain dew from my pimp cup as I dab on the haters. (last parts a joke to lighten the mood)

[@leehalloway8787]

@@remrem-gx3ml Bro. You talked about the love and loyalty that you had for her. Where was the love and loyalty for yourself? I'm not talking shit, I'm really asking. I also got played and had to reassess why I tolerated nonsense.

[@remrem-gx3ml]

its late for me so this may come out as gibberish. the loyalty to myself was sticking to my virtues and ideals even though it was hard. it was a matter of not just principle but pride. when you lose everything you still have your pride and honor. im proud of how i handled things and i learned an important lesson. so even though it almost killed me and broke my heart into a thousand pieces im better off and i dont have any regrets. some times the most important thing you can do for yourself is see things through to the end no matter how bad the end may be. thats what commitment means. to me part of loving yourself is having the courage to be vulnerable and get wounded. its like this right. if some one you cared about could have every wish granted but you had to take a beating for them would you? i would. so i take that risk for myself. if there was a chance that she would become the woman i loved again i had to take it. if i didnt i would have regretted it for the rest of my life. love is a battlefield. getting wounded is part of the job description and if you cant accept the pain your not ready to look for love. on offense but i honestly believe that. no matter what. even with the perfect person your gonna get hurt and you need to have the internal strength and maturity to react responsibly or youll lose that person. I know the one who will stay with me will want to work with me and be just as invested as i am. so i forgive myself. forgive my ex. learn from it and hope one day. if im lucky. i finally find my home. ​@@leehalloway8787

[@putent9623]

This reminds me of feminism. They want the husband to make the money and also help out with the kids and chores. Then the wife? Just party and do shit all day. Crazy.

[@Mashamazzi]

How could she take the kids, she cant even do the dishes once? lmao

[@sixthcairn]

Because America hates men, especially if they're white.

[@samu_2822]

Ask a family court about it.

[@dannymoldff2019]

@@samu_2822and they will answer "full custody to the mother!"

[@Sashin-d8t]

Yeah family court has a funny habit of screwing over men. If I don’t get to see my child I am not paying for it

[@monejohn9973]

​@@Sashin-d8t😅 You screw yourselves over by not documenting and keeping track of all the issues. If she really did all this stuff. He could win custody of the kids. But if he didn't keep track or have proof then that's his dumb as doormat punching bag waste of time self 😅

[@musanetesakupwanya1050]

This shattered me. He really tried. And that's what sucks more than anything. A lot of us guys get a bad rap for being selfish, and that's fine..But this guy was a bloody champion. He truly loved his family. 😟 I really applaud him for his approach. I'm just devastated cos we're always told we will get what we give. Too often, that isn't the case. And so many go through this without being heard. I really hope in the next few years, something changes. She was EVIL. And you only find this stuff out when things go wrong. This was just so sobering. I've heard this so many times of late.

[@TeeArCreep]

"i'm a huge fan of oral and can eat front and back for days" with the sad music in the background is too much, i can't take it seriously

[@K4113B4113]

🤣🤣

[@benzemamumba]

🤣

[@cloudyboy1756]

How she convinced him she genuinely thought he came from giving her oral is outrageous and I’ll never understand it.

[@AuroraMoon2000]

Yeah, that's right up with guys who jackhammer their peni into their women and be like, "you came from that right" 😊

[@abcdefzhij]

People can actually come from giving oral though

[@LumemDH]

It’s because she was gaslighting herself, lol.

[@gavinfarris7624]

I kept thinking maybe he should make her wait until he gets off first, then get her off to show his appreciation. He wasn't prioritizing himself enough, she got used to it and lost what respect she might have had for him.

[@williamparker7025]

men think that women get off giving them head all the time

[@GretgorPooper]

Also, whenever OP wrote "put the kids down" I immediately imagined him unaliving his own kids.

[@timogeerties3487]

Just heard that line 10 secs and thought the same before reading your comment 😂

[@1inchMan20]

I don’t see any simp comments 🤔

[@SlugSage]

You're a sick man

[@pochuyma9530]

"put the kids down" 😆😆😆

[@jaywhy7150]

Op is carrying the relationship hard, like women would actually f*clking appreciate someone who tries to make them feel special or loved edit also like how he got her all that stuff for Christmas, putting a lot of thought and effort into giving her something she would like and all she gives is a desk mat, sums up the relationship

[@sifisticated_seal]

she was right in wanting to leave but your kids stay with you man you do everything for her and the kids.

[@brahtrumpwonbigly7309]

She was wrong in wanting to leave.

[@yesthatmousyiris4887]

OP sounds like a wonderful husband that so call wife is a lazy pos. OP deserves better I'm glad he is able to say he is done and wants better. I bet its really hard considering how abusive the wife is. The wife should've said she isn't in love with him anymore and leave a long time ago.

[@juliearmfield2634]

He made a wonderful wife

[@nevaehhamilton3493]

She never loved him in the first place. She only married him for the sex. She only wanted OP for sex. She doesn't view him as a person. She never has and she never will. She took advantage of her husband.

[@yesthatmousyiris4887]

Agree OP deserves a woman who treats him well and sees him as a equal not that pos@@nevaehhamilton3493

[@Michael-pn9vb]

could be cheating on you and doesnt want to do it with you because she feels like shes "betraying" her new lover

[@profkoala]

Not everything is about cheating bro the wife is just an entitled brat

[@_Amarin]

The most simplistic dumb point of view on this I've read so far🤦🏾‍♀️ There's shit worse than cheating, y'know?? Chill tf out🙄

[@morgenstern7865]

I mean i understand that might be the case sometimes but wife seems too lazy even for an affair.

[@Zwei22]

@@_Amarin Not at all. Cheating is among one of the most common reasons. You know what doctors often do when diagnosing a patient? They don't immediately jump to all the rare and uncommon diseases. They're told that the most common disease is more then likely the one the patient has. In a lot of cases, that is true. The reason I brought that up is because of what I said before. Cheating is literally one of the most common things for a women's disinterest. Now here's the fun part, various studies have shown that women cheat as much if not more then men. They simply hide it better. Here's another fun part, these studies are conducted based on the women who DID answer. Many refused to answer. That means just like paternity fraud, the number is more likely to be significantly higher then reported.

[@InvasionAnimation]

@@profkoala Entitled brats love to cheat though.

[@juliebrogan5301]

This wife is an entitled piece of work! I would absolutely love a husband like this guy…..he’s amazing!

[@Jupiter9331]

The comments are awful. This man is not a 'simp' he's a good man who tried his hardest to be a good husband and father. His wife is just utterly ungrateful and spineless. She doesn't want to be with him but doesn't want to have to work, parent and keep her own home. Due to her growing hatered she became horrible and abusive though it sounds like she possibly was before things started going down hill. I truly feel sorry for this man and i hope he divorced her and got custody of the kids.

[@joshuaobrien6137]

He is a simp because he was doing everything and accepting nothing. I'm not saying wanting to be a good husband or father is simping, its when you allow yourself to be treated like shit and allow yourself to be used just so she stays that makes some one a simp. Thankfully he figured it out in the end but imagine what this would have done to his kids? To see that their mother doesn't love or respect him and thus show that this is acceptable behavior both for them and when its done to them. To believe that its acceptable to give everything to some one who will only demand more just so that you can pretend to be loved(which is what he was teaching his children even if he didn't realize it). Thats a terrible example to give your children. I don't think he is a bad person, far from it, but their is a reason why we look down on this behavior and why its crucial to ridicule it, because its just as self destructive as if he was using drugs and alcohol and sets himself and his children up for failure. If he had stood up for himself sooner he wouldn't have had to suffer as long and his kids wouldn't be in that toxic enviorment for as long as they where. Simps give their love and their dedication to those who don't deserve it which is what he was doing. Some times the right thing to do is be a little selfish and to be willing to make the hard decision.

[@matthummel8306]

He's a doormat. And a sex toy. No man with self confidence would tolerate half of the things she did

[@yesthatmousyiris4887]

He's a victim of abuse people who are victims of abuse tend to have these signs cause they are hen peck to submission. @@matthummel8306

[@heinzkitzvelvet]

@@yesthatmousyiris4887 he's NOT a victim. He is simply weak. No man with a shred of self respect and dignity would allow themselves to be treated like this.

[@hansmemling2311]

@heinzkitzvelvet He is not weak. He works like crazy. What he is is very feminine and he is pushed in the role of giver by a partner that only takes. The only way he can move forward is to let the leech go. He made mistakes but he’s not a weak man. Sometimes we as men give because we think it’s the right thing to do because we believe we have to be good people. That does not make him weak, you saying it does only reinforces bad stereotypes about gender because you would never call a woman who is a giver weak. You’d say to gtfo out the relationship.

[@radovanbabjak7903]

Man he should have stood up for himself way sooner. He is no authority for her. It is also better for the atractiveness but man I wish such wife to no one. Hope he got the kids

[@radovanbabjak7903]

@@Shadowy_2 That is very sad

[@Mashamazzi]

​@@Shadowy_2who will clean up?

[@leehalloway8787]

@@Shadowy_2 They will probably just share custody.

[@dannymoldff2019]

"He is no authority for her." I guess he hadn't thought he should have. She supposed to be a mature person, not a dog.

[@dominusnoobus1589]

@@dannymoldff2019well women in my opinion are different creatures, so thus a good competent man must always have some level of authority over their women. Doesn’t mean go borderline abusive ofc

[@RiddleLeft]

I genuinely feel so bad for this guy, nobody deserves to feel that awful in a relationship. Loving someone shouldn't make you feel trapped. Godspeed to this dude 🙏

[@Duckcalculator]

Cheaters and people like this guy’s ex sure do deserve bad relationships.

[@GretgorPooper]

Also, OP is a really cool guy. I mean, him thinking that the problem was with him, and even trying to get his body in shape to make her like him more, makes me feel sorry for him. The wife seems to be the exact opposite, as in everyone is wrong but her.

[@heinzkitzvelvet]

It's his fault for not teaching her about life. She needed him to be a leader, she needed guidance and he refused because he put her above himself. This was the result.

[@randomboys1000]

​@@heinzkitzvelvetThat's not how marriages work. She's his wife, not his daughter. Both should've been well prepared going in

[@heinzkitzvelvet]

@@randomboys1000 are you saying OP's marriage worked? Because I'm saying what DOES work (the opposite of OP's approach). OP told you what he tried didn't work. But you're telling me what I said doesn't work, and I'm living it. So what are you talking about? Women are emotional, irrational, and chaotic at birth, by nature. Argue and deny that point of truth all you like, but it has always been, and will always be, the truth. Leave women to their own devices, and chaos will ensue 100% of the time. When women submit to a strong, earnest male leader, they always flourish and achieve happiness. As I said, I'm living it. There is an epidemic, in the West, of weak, emasculated men. They have been swindled into believing that women are their equals. Women are not equal, and certainly not better. Look at the problems we have today. It's not accidental.

[@mgntstr]

@@randomboys1000 He stole all her housework. What did he expect would happen?

[@cole_cain]

This story drives me insane with frustration. The amount of entitlement you have to have to not even engage in a *single* chore while your husband does everything else is absolutely astonishing. I feel really bad for OP here, and also for the dad of the wife for realizing how self-centered his daughter unfortunately came out to be. Hopefully he finds a better woman.

[@Obironnkenobi]

Dude, shoutout to OP's FIL, actually coming and getting his side before casting any judgement and he was agble to support his daughter without supporting her actions.

[@ThatOneAmpharos]

I feel sorry for him

[@dreadlord8628]

Unfortunate, it sucks but what can you do? Cheating is one thing tho painful it's easier to digest but someone falling out of love with you hits real hard especially after a relationship spanning decades.

[@dannymoldff2019]

And it's not just "she doesn't love me anymore". She keeps silent about it, using him as a tool, drying his resources while misleading him.

[@Andrey-rc6wp]

From my own personal experience with my wonderful fiancé, it’s imperative to have empathy and understanding. There are times where we are both unreasonable, tired, depressed, exhausted, sleep deprived, etc. but we do not allow our temporary states to have any impact on our relationship. Sure there are days where she just comes home, I can see it in her face and body language that she’s beat. So I give her a hug and a kiss. Sometimes I’ll carry her like a princess, get her some food and tea, wrap her in a blanket and she just watches her plant videos. There are days where I come in with smoke blowing out my ears and she hugs me, gives me a kiss, makes me some food, a cup of tea, and just locks me in my office so I can tinker with my robotics projects or program or play games. We understand that we are both animals, we have our own needs and wants. We can’t be going at 100% at all times. And the most important aspect for both of us is empathy. I’m not going to force her to do 50% of the work when she can barely keep her eyes open. I think that this is where the wife from the story messed up big time. She took all of her partner’s effort for granted. She treated him like an indentured servant. As if the things he does are an expectation. Genuinely the wife sounds awful and I think the divorce is going to teach her a painful lesson to treat people with dignity and respect. To reciprocate and not just take, take, take.

[@jadeshadowwolf717]

She let go a very good man. She screwed up royally. I hope whoever he ends up with next realizes how lucky they are to have him.

[@AliothAncalagon]

Over the years I learned one valuable lesson regarding the effort a woman makes. NEVER settle for women who don't make an effort. Period. It won't get any more over time, it won't feel any better over time, things will always just get worse from there. You can settle for a woman that is stupid, unfit, ugly, flat, has a terrible career or an annoying voice. Preferably not all of those at the same time, but the gist is that sincere effort and love can trump all of those things. But you CAN'T settle for a woman that doesn't make an effort. Because that just means settling for a shit relationship.

[@Rocko2552]

This is why I don't think I can ever get married. People hear the word marriage and then all logic gets tossed out. Why stay in a relationship where you are being disrespected, and your needs aren't being met? Forget about your needs not being met, your partner is even attempting to meet your needs. It just makes no sense. Then you always hear the same bs excuse about how it's for the kids. No it's not, that a lie. The moment you realize you're not going to get your way, you divorce anyways, so it never really was for the kids. I hear so many stories about dead bedrooms and infidelity, and they always use kids as an excuse to make it work. Then a few updates later when they didn't get the outcome they wanted, they divorce.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Because a lot must be wrong before it outweighs losing seeing your kids most days of the week and losing your house/savings/pets. Or parents know that are barely earning enough to live on their own while paying for rent, food, alimony, kids daycare, etc. It's also very hard for the kids to suddenly go from (in a lot of cases) being at home all day/after school to being put in daycare every day since mummy or daddy now has to work full time to be able to pay rent. The divorce alone is already hard on them, so parents will only go for divorce when they've tried absolutely anything to fix the marriage. Also, kids can't always go to daycares. Like my kids with ADHD and autism. They barely make it through the week with just school, can't imagine how they'd end up if they had to go to after school care too. Being married has nothing to do with this. Married or not, once you have kids and you live together with shared property/financial dependence, you can't just throw in the towel when a need doesn't get met.

[@gavinfarris7624]

Both valid points. I think if I was married without kids I would still have a hard time letting go, but if I was co-parenting out of wedlock I'd be struggling to figure out what's best for the kids.

[@crazymic79]

Treat them like a Queen and they'll treat you list a peasant.

[@sibongilenxumalo9839]

Bruh really said "it's really hard to be happy when ur around" 😂😂😂

[@wintig245]

She better not get custody of the kids.

[@HamguyBacon]

she can't do basic instructions on putting a roast in a oven, i don't think she can take care of kids.

[@krulak292]

@@HamguyBacon its okay divorce laws will make sure she gets primary custody :)

[@darkcircle899]

Sadly with the court system that we have she’ll likely end up with primary custody. If the woman in the situation doesn’t have or do something that makes her unable to care for the children the system is so biased toward them that they usually get custody.

[@biggdawg0211]

Obviously this guy is doing too much. She literally is sitting around on easy mode because he's doing everything in the house while she doesn't even reciprocate. Then his solution for her not reciprocating is to do even more. It makes no sense...

[@incite2004]

As a woman myself, you can't just expect to be treated like a queen but then not take care of your man's in return. My boyfriend treats me amazingly & doesn't expect anything in return. He believes it's his job to take care of me & make me feel safe. He goes above & beyond to make me happy. So the least I can do is give head, luckily we both agree on the same things in bed. Some days I don't feel like giving head so we don't but at the same time some days he doesn't feel like doing what I want therefore fair enough we don't have to. If we can't both agree we either do it alone or find something we can agree on doing. If you can't compromise & meet someone half way then you won't get long term in my opinion. I had to heal my own trauma, learn patience, how to compromise, how to comprehend what is being said to me, etc. Then again I am autistic so I had to learn how to be social in general so I had to teach myself these things in order to have anyone in my life. Edit: I remember I was drunk one time & wanted sex. My boyfriend said no because I was drunk so it wasn't consensual. I was upset at the time cause I am a emotional drunk, he told me maybe tomorrow which I happily accepted. Then the next day I was so happy he didn't because, 1) I was drunk so it wasn't consensual not that I would've cared regardless it was just morally for him 2) due to this caring for me & not taking advantage of my intoxicated state led me to find him 100% more attractive If we are both drunk it's different but if only one of us is then it's wrong. Anyways she clearly isn't ready to give what's needed for a relationship

[@Alteori]

He's like the perfect husband tf? He's a unicorn. His problem was giving too much for so little

[@ztmorris9738]

TLDR: A simp married & impregnated a spoiled baddie and now has to deal with the consequences

[@asmkalrizion7078]

"we don't need counseling because there is nothing wrong with our marriage" *wants divorce 1 week later*

[@witchykittyy]

dude needs to grow a backbone

[@dannymoldff2019]

blame the victim, yeah

[@heinzkitzvelvet]

@@dannymoldff2019 He's not a victim. He brought it all on himself. Women don't respect weak men. Don't you know that?

[@Bnkells]

As a woman.... Divorce her for your own happiness please, this is not ok.

[@queenreg7]

She’s kinda lazy and probably not really attracted to him sexually, but knows he’s a good man and that as long as he gets HER needs met, it’s all good. Unfair.

[@flippyn1]

Damn, I'm a dude and even I would marry him xd. To be honest, sadly he does lack a bit of a back bone, probably that's the reason his wife decided to walk over him, because he let her do it. Sadly you can be too nice to some people

[@endlessthoughtspartitionma1349]

indeed treat her like a celebrity and she"ll treat you like a fan.

[@vaultboy1419]

@@endlessthoughtspartitionma1349 Exactly. If a man can't ever say no and is walking on eggshells around his woman, she will take advantage of it. Women love men that are in control. OP is a cool dad, but he failed as a husband, in regards to standing up to his wife. She told him to do shit and he went over the top, he asked for to do the dishes and she said fuck no... That's not a desirable dynamic in a MARRIAGE.

[@sanchayitachattopadhyay4674]

He's a married single father

[@Pppppphhhhffffffrawr-]

Bro , this is litteraly the man of any womans dream , tf she mean 'fell of of love' bro , nah just say you like women , cause idk why shes lying liek that 😭💀💕💕💕

[@R1L1.]

if i was i girl i would marry this guy, do people understand how it its to do all that shit and still have time for yourself bro is a pro at this shit.

[@dannymoldff2019]

I was also impressed how he manages kids, household, job, himself, and wife. Give him a dying company, and after a month it will work like a clock.

[@heinzkitzvelvet]

If you was a girl, you would end up treating him the exact same way. It's not her fault. She's just being a woman. It's his fault for not being a leader and guiding her in the proper ways of etiquette, manners, and respect.

[@dannymoldff2019]

@@heinzkitzvelvet So it's "girls being the girls", and thats totally okay to say, it's not like "boy being the boys" which get you canceled if you say it publicly.

[@heinzkitzvelvet]

@@dannymoldff2019 everything is "totally ok to say" unless you're frightened.

[@dannymoldff2019]

@@heinzkitzvelvet you missed the point

[@theresawolfamongus2572]

i feel really bad for OP, and sympathize to hell and back w him too. ill say tho that its pissing me off how people just keep repeating how hes a doormat. yes, i wont deny he is one, because in a way he is, but i say this from the perspective of being pretty much in his shoes when it comes to him just trying his best to make her just *love him back,* and be civil. the fact she said she didnt want to have anything get between them for the care of their kids and then didnt even do the damn dishes or trash if its so much of a problem is fucking RIDICULOUS, and at that point i wouldve just told her that if its unacceptable, start doing the chores your fucking self and do some of the work for this family, because even if you dont love love me (hypothetically) anymore, if you mean it when you say you dont want something to get between us and bar our kids from being as happy as they can be, show it or i see no reason why you should be trusted with our kids' custody and wellbeing. Another thing, shes the one that was too much of a fucking coward to just communicate how she felt, and thought "instead of just telling him, im going to treat him like garbage to scare him off". i understand the logic but that is not the way to go about any kind of relationship, communication is Absolute Key to Everything in a relationship, and i say this as someone who is kinda soon to be approaching a 5 year long relationship. we may not be married but at least we can talk to eachother and not just completely throw away the idea of wanting *good* things and happiness for the other person even when we're upset or angry at the other person. at the end of the day no matter what happens (unless he, my other half, s3xu@11y assaulted a kid or anyone really, physically hit, just did Anything i guess my brain considers to be "bad enough" to not care about their entire life anymore) we want whats best for eachother, even if it means going through a relationship and coming to a point where we cant love love eachother anymore. with how shes acting she deserved to be left on the street without house or home for a few days at LEAST, and i mean genuinely being on the streets, not being abandoned by her lover and then getting to call her dad for him to pick her up and bring her to warmth. if she didnt care enough about THEIR house and THEIR home, she can live without it and get an ice cold slap in the face of why she better start acting right. im not for putting someone on the streets, and maybe im being biased due to my own past experiences, but she genuinely seemed to need that intense of a wake up call. ESPECIALLY if her father even put his own two cents in on what was going on with them and she still didnt wise up. yall can say he was a doormat but id rather be a doormat and learn the hard way to stand up for myself than be someone like her who cant grow up enough to even do whats in her, his, or the kids' best interests. it was like once she didnt care about him she didnt care about them either. absolutely heartbreaking and im so glad to see in the comments people telling that he went through with the divorce, i just am hoping to hell and back that he got full custody with MAYBE visitation rights, IF she even deserved it after getting her shit together and fucking manning up. maybe she can change and get better but from what we know of shes disgusting, and i hope she rots.

[@theresawolfamongus2572]

im supposed to b asleep rn and got wayyy too fired up from this, whoops lmao

[@radixmaharaj5912]

Good for you Op for FINALLY treating yourself like you're worth something. Everyone deserves happiness (not your Ex... lol) so for now take care of yourself so you can take care of your children. Shit like this is why no one wants to get married anymore and you can't blame anyone.

[@funnyguyzloty3191]

poor dude

[@calummclaughlin7464]

Just tell her straight up. Put out or ur done.

[@guyledouche7939]

This guy knows nothing about women.

[@ztmorris9738]

"Deep cleaned my kitchen out of anger"

[@gelusvenn5063]

That dad moment just... that scenario sounds like a man just *so devastatingly disappointed. He must have felt like a failure in that moment.

[@brokencreationlordmegatrol3037]

she checked out months before >.>

[@mysty0]

Get your wife tested for her Prolactin levels, sounds like a possible Pituitary Tumor

[@thebernice6062]

My dude, you need to respect yourself. Listening to him describe everything he did everyday was exhausting for me. He was being both the husband and the wife in this relationship and was only expecting the woman he married to provide sex. Marriage is a partnership of equals, if one partner is sitting out of all the tasks that make up domestic life, then the marriage has failed. It sounds like he married a spoiled, lazy hog.

[@sidequestsally]

This man does not deserve this. How very sad for him.

[@zannettos]

Damn! this dude is honestly they type of guy who cant say no! Poor dude get the kids and RUN!

[@slickityslick5641]

Why do I feel like so many of these stories could be about bpd

[@ogfail1867]

that is one sorry slug of a human doormat. Most of his suffering was self inflicted by not standing up for himself.

[@Kuhekin]

The fact that he married her is insane, the first thought popped off my head after 21 mins of listening to this is "You deserved it".

[@dannymoldff2019]

@@KuhekinThis type of people are usually nice and giving in the begining. "In demo mode". They start to behave like this little by little, slowly overtime. It's not like they show their sociopathic behavior from the start.

[@xxxxxxxx8903]

He's too much of a doormat. He keeps being over until his back breaks and doesn't stop there. Wife's behavior is atrocious and he keeps encouraging it. Feel so sorry for him and the kids.

[@fxlltxtsearch]

What a waste of time. Why did you endure any of that?

[@bradstical86]

Kids bro Kids. Unfortunately for op it wasn't just some highschool fling anymore

[@yesthatmousyiris4887]

Abusive relationships are hard to get out especially if you are a man cause men who are victims of abuse are not taken seriously like women. And when kids are in the picture that makes it harder to leave cause the law tends to favor women more and more likely to be given custody then men.

[@originalMP3com247]

he was a good wife

[@hridayevyas8906]

ill just say this once. She is lucky he did not kill her. That amount of shit, I really would lose control.

[@sanecosine505-8]

This man is the epitome of a good man, husband, and father. He is gold. And the wife threw away something she’ll never find again. Opportunity comes but once.

[@ИгошинНикита]

Man sounds like a good husband any decent woman would kill for. At least, I'd like to think so.

[@Panagiotis1709]

The deadbedrooms subreddit is an absolute joke. These people do not realise that "choreplay" and being a good husband will not make your woman want you. Attraction is not something you can negotiate.

[@isaacwashington6665]

She wears the pants the guy is a wimp,he does everything while she sleeps drinks and shops. She’s just walking all over him.

[@vivien5tar]

I dream of marrying a man like this, but he deserves that mutual gratitude and affection. Sometimes women break, but it’s her choice to stay broken.

[@benjiboy111111]

Screams "i dont cook, i dont clean, lemme tell you how i got this ring" Then proceeds to a a bad partner when she has it

[@flashguard1949]

Ive felt like that. Helping and doing stuff. Cleaning, cooking, and trash. Making sure everything is good. Just to hear that something was not right or done. Feeling like your doing so much just to be told its not enough. Even if you get that they are not saying "your not good enough" after a while it feels like that. As a man that is the hardest thing to feel. You are told that you have to be strong and do everything you can by life. After a while you either break or just stop helping. People seem to not realize all the work you do and when you stop you hope to hear "wow you do so much. thank you" But no. You hear complaining and are called lazy which makes your blood boil. It is so tiring being the man you need to be. Being the guy that does a lot because he loves you just to get nothing in return. Of all the things a man can deal with... this is one of the only ones that will literally break a man. You know why you get these guys that act like they do not care at all? Its because of being treated like this. Men love to help out and make your life better. Men love to fix things. But after a while you break and that thin string that used to hold it all up snaps and never comes back. This man did everything and went above and beyond. Just like most men do. But the way he was treated hurts... even though its his story it cuts me deep as well. It saddens me to know that the worst part is soon to come with his kids.... it is just so wrong.

[@mgntstr]

I mean.. how the hell did he ever get to that point in the first place. Doing All the housework. All the cooking. All the caregiving. All the sexual pleasuring. LMFAO.

[@notaverage3965]

If your in a relationship and the other side is not giving anymore do not stop never stoop to their level because then you are no better than them keep giving on your end even without a response and communicate how you feel about what their doing to them and let them know you cannot stay if this will continue forever because its not fair but give them a chance to explain themselves but do not water a dead flower forever eventually just move on it might hurt but staying with somone who doesnt treat you good will hurt more in the long run.

[@Yun_denn]

Imagine being married to the full package and treating him like dirt. Couldn't be me.

[@leehalloway8787]

The partner who says that marriage is a waste of time is the one who is the main problem.

[@MarcinWojtczuk]

I hear you brother, same message about trash and full sink and then gaslighting. Congratulations I guess, you are now officially survivor of narcissistic abuse. Protect and love your kids, you ate the only parent they have

[@queenreg7]

She just doesn’t want him. Cut your losses, get custody of the kids if you can, and move on.

[@brisaferreyra7025]

DUUUDEEE WHYYYYY????? OP IS LITERALLY WHAT ANYONE COULD ASK FOR AND THIS EXCUSE OF A WOMAN TREATS HIM LIKE THAT????!!

[@K4113B4113]

Classic case of the "nice guy" syndrome. Symptoms may include: low self-esteem, people walking all over you, people loosing respect for you, women's attraction to you dropping into the abyss, dead bedroom, etc. If he doesn't address this and get it sorted the exact same thing will happen in his next relationship unfortunately. 15:21 "And it pissed her off knowing that no matter what she did, that I never stopped being warm, kind, thoughtful". He not only let her treat him that way, but he actively encouraged it by rewarding that behavior.

[@mgntstr]

and he has the audacity to put on Pikachu face

[@jorgeregueiro8489]

OP was to good for his wife, she lost respect for him because to her he was a doormat

[@blackshadowWR]

I sympathize with people that go through problems like this.

[@randybentley7953]

Op is the kind of father that I want to be.

[@bradstical86]

Same bro

[@luckynoob6720]

Man took enough disrespect, with ZERO FUKIN RESPONSIBILITY AND ACCOUNTABILITY FROM THE WIFE

[@bluebirdbeliever1777]

Loves I'm a girl but I am mad that men can't be happy because other girls are hurting them men are doing all the jobs girls can't and they said we don't need men the fu!! Why say that we need them and we the girls have to get them to feel needed and happy not make them feel like sh!! Loves that's fu!! Up sorry I'm ranting loves don't put everyone down for your own ego and to make yourself feel good about yourself for hurting someone loves. ( I can't put . at each words to end them I can't spell sorry and ADHD is getting to me again XD sorry loves can you help point out where to put periods. at sorry I need help with it )

[@dannymoldff2019]

I'm pretty sure she also was all over the love when she was teen. Young, full of attention, full of adventure, and BOOM you are in a monotone routine, like life is ended and all is left is to wait for death, but you know you are still young, gorgeous and ready for adventure. What will you do when your life turns like that?

[@HippieInHeart]

Damn, that guy wasn't even a husband, he was a single father all along with how little his wife appearently did to help out with anything. Definitely hope he managed to get rid of her while keeping his kids. He already has to work and do household chores for himself and his actual kids, he doesn't need the added stress of having to take care of an adult child. Definitely not how I imagined the story to go. I thought he was just gay, having an affair, or both. lol

[@ordinaryartdemon9000]

Bro the OP sounds like a sweet dad, I really hope he's doing great now

[@GretgorPooper]

"Edit 2 divided by update" is the reason why robots are still not ready to replace humans.

[@anonymous-yf6ur]

First I thought she saw him as a doormat because he wasn’t fighting her back at all(she even said it). Some women like toxicity and drama but he was way too mature and stable which makes some women lose interest in their husbands…(I know I sound sexist, but too many times I have seen women go behind the toxic ones. These are also a major reason for cheating. Sometimes you hear crazy stories about how the women cheated on the men despite the relationship being stable and whatnot. They just crave drama and toxicity. Stay away from these kind of women. But as I continued to read it, I am constantly led to believe that his wife wanted him to be as miserable and unmotivated as her and was pissed to see him being productive while she is being lazy because it doesn’t give her any excuses. She was just a lazy person who was jealous of the husband’s productivity.

[@BigBurgerBoy557]

OP’s a good man, he shouldn’t have to deal with that evil sucubus.

[@0rnami]

He keeps trying to negotiate his happiness with her, and she's disgusted by it.

[@spinmaster0]

He didn't want sex...even at four hundred and thirty! 🤣No wonder it ended badly! He chose to tolerate her disrespect for a long time because of the fear of losing the kids. If he had spoken up at the beginning, this would have been a lot faster and it has made him miserable. Took him long enough!

[@Kuhekin]

Proof that the channel owner just copy paste the prompt and didn't even bother to check

[@dannymoldff2019]

I have a vivid picture in my mind, where pedophile in court says "they allowed me to do that, it's their fault", and then spinmaster0 raises up and says "yeah! exactly!"

[@spinmaster0]

​@@dannymoldff2019 Taking abuse from a spouse and pedophilia are the same thing? That makes no sense! The moment he found out she has no love for him is the moment he should have left.

[@dannymoldff2019]

​@@spinmaster0So your victim blaming has at least some limits, good to know. "The moment he found out she has no love for him is the moment he should have left." You are missing that it's no a game for him, he has a responsibilities as father and as husband, and he takes those responsibilities seriously. Marriage is not public place where you come and go whenever you want, there is a vow "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish". It's a serious commitment - at least it should be. Trying to save the kids from divorcing - which in turn is handled utterly unfairly for men in 99.9% cases in states - is a what good father should do. He had choosen a wrong partner for marriage, but everything else he did right.

[@spinmaster0]

@@dannymoldff2019 You assume that those exact vows word for word translate to other countries - that is only in the west. For richer, for poorer... for head, for no head? I don't think so. "So why is your relationship bad?" "Because she does not give me oral!" Oh please! A true victim, right there!

[@EkayLaive]

Damn this is sad

[@Djainwiqjzncdek]

30(ish) Days Later. So since posting the final chapter in my little garbage marriage, I have begun the process of separating EVERYTHING. I have been asking her to get a job so she can afford her own spot (she has a bachelors degree in something in the medical field.) we have both been pretty amicable when it comes the kids. I know a lot of you wanted me to go for full custody but… I really do want my (soon to be ex) wife in the picture as much as possible. So far nothing really has changed in terms of what I do. She does a bit less now. I’ve been really sick for a few days but I’m still making sure everyone is fed and cared for and my house is clean. I’ve been love bombed. She’s pretended I’m not actually leaving. She’s “changed” her habits. All of sudden she’s all over me and offering things (all advances have been declined, wonder how that feels.) I think at the end of the day. Im gonna let her keep the house (we rent) so she gets to sit in the misery of all the joy and effort I brought. I might be buying a house after moving out if I can find a place I love. Im excited to flirt. Im excited to be wanted. Im excited to be my own person again. And for you wondering, yes I am still hitting gym almost every single day and am about to become that hot dad that’s the baseball coach.

[@Maninawig]

Seriously, I would start texting her about all that I did if I was OP, because then you have reciepts of how much you do for the kids. Next, divorce her on the basis of spousal neglect.

[@2sweet2eat]

This makes me sad. I would love to have such a kind husband.

[@peagames2002]

This is quite mixed bag of emotions I can tell. However if dead bedroom feels like a concern, calm communication to find things of interest. Compromising too much in sex is never ideal. Only do things you like and what might bring interest. Also going down on woman is quite surefire to tire the woman out since it is incredibly sensitive situation. It wouldn't raise the libido, it kills it. A good way to bring libido alive is to allow yourself time to foreplay. Foreplay is meant to bring intensity to the situation. Going down is like putting the fire out with your saliva at worst if done too passionately. But then again, their communication abilities seemed very difficult so it's understandable they don't find themselves in common ground. It would be nice if they managed to somehow see eye to eye for the sake of their kids. After listening it all : O-kay... well that shit went down really fast. It really makes me wonder why she was so mean to her husband if she loved him. Should've pulled her weight there. House won't clean itself.

[@jbcroos918]

Usually when the partner takes for granted all the effort the significant other puts into the relationship this kind of thing happens,OP took the more mature yet more painful route he could have just left , cheated, open the relationship, but he tried to communicate only to discover he was demoted to a sex toy/roommate, i wonder if she finds herself in the empty house situation OP experienced when they all left on Christmas Eve she will reconsider the approach she's been having on this marriage

[@Spgzay]

"Who wants to go down on a smelly person" Ddg:😳

[@FractalPrism.]

if your person isnt receptive and excited to embrace your desires, then they're not your person.

[@movingsocks579]

You eat box as a reward. Not before. lmao.

[@Demial_Sparda]

Sexual compatibility is one of most important aspect in relationship. The fact many couples broke because that. Its always important to be in content with sex drive of your partner.

[@dannymoldff2019]

Sexual compatibility is nothing to do with this, it's was just an indicator that the whole thing is broken.

[@antonaargh1268]

no such thing as sexual compatibility. Every woman wants a man who is selfish but competent in bed. Selfish part much more important. All men want to feel desired. It's hard-coded in us genetically. OP messed up the "selfish" part big time. The result is that we see

[@macrick]

The wife behaves like another kid he has, lololol