5 Things a Narcissist is Doomed to Fail At

[@Cat-oj4oz]

Today is hard. It is my narcissistic mother's birthday, and she is 92... I don't know how many more years she will live and each year this truth gnaws at me. I would love to have a real mom and I miss who I (mistakenly) thought she was... calling her would be fruitless and self-harming; I know this and so I'm watching these videos to reassure myself I'm doing the right thing. Still, it hurts.

[@gigiarmany]

best wishes..🖤🙏🏽

[@christinalw19]

My mother lived to be 101. Only the good die young. You will not have the mother you wanted, but I pray you have learned the healthy way to be. I took care of my mother for ten years before she passed. 6 years on hospice. I had no tears, but relief. I prayed for God to be merciful. All I said was “poor mother.” Enabling & negligent, & that was toward my brothers. I never needed her after age 18, and got nothing from her. Blessings, let it go. 🙏🏼🤍🕊

[@pollinationfarms]

It’s not you fault and nothing to feel bad over accept that that’s one of the main ways they brainwash us is by always making us feel bad , so don’t feel bad feel glad if you can ❤

[@m998hmmwv7]

She's 92? Grow a pair and give her a call.

[@maritzacaruth9283]

I'm sorry this is a rough time. We are so very fortunate Danish is here daily, helping us make sense of what we're seeing. If she's not senile or suffering with dementia, I bet she already knows how much you care about this date 🗓. Sometimes it's purely the thought that counts. Hang in there.🙏 💗

[@simonpegg1196]

Accountability: Zero Trustworthiness: Zero Empathy: Zero. Love: Minus. Authenticity: Zero Wickedness: Infinite In short, not worthy of being called a human being. This is a narc in a nutshell.

[@norcal1009]

🤣 ✅️ ✅️ ✅️ ✅️ ✅️ & ✅️ 🤪 narcs are EXHAUSTING!!!

[@kaleido76]

Nailed it! 🎯

[@Soumyaa2206]

Excellent n simple..

[@hermymojica3957]

Hindi kapani paniwala iyang zero. Reflection ng pamilyang nag alaga ng isang tao. Ibig sabihin ba wala ng nairuring mabuti ang mga Magulang ng isang naging narcissist . ? Bias ang figures. Sarcastic dating. Why discriminate ung may sakit sa isip. This survey s are falsifically commented.

[@finishgoogl7960]

like that mad lunatic mohd ?

[@BellMarell]

They themselves are nothing but a lie, so they need you to believe in them in order to exist. Wow, so well put. Spot on. 💯

[@petrosspetrosgali]

Danish succinctly describes a demon when he describes the narcissist. This is no coincidence.

[@almohvn33]

THEY ARE DEMON FILLED!!!!! Satan's babies.....

[@relied7934]

Imagine feeling like you don't exist without applause. That's horrible.

[@dihydrogenmonoxide7056]

@@relied7934 They do this to their kids also. They create a false identity for each child. One of these is "golden child," and another is "scapegoat." One allows them to be a hero, and the other allows them to be the victim. Narcissists unexist their children and replace them with puppets. There are "two" of me: me and the one my mother "sees." I am still figuring out the first one, since "me" wasn't allowed to exist growing up. I am 41.

[@alden547]

​@@dihydrogenmonoxide7056may peace rest within you ❤

[@lauraneu6582]

“There’s no one home and you need to accept that”

[@Majsztrik]

100 percent. And they can never commit to even a certain day being somewhere at a certain time if it’s not what they want to do. I saw a t-shirt that describes this perfectly. “I’m late because I don’t want to be here.” That is my narcissist.

[@georgiafrancis9059]

right, any conversation is a jet plane flying overhead - because THEY know it all and you are a no-nothing, nobody.

[@cletiawilliams1436]

😂 I experienced that with narcs they repeat the same things. Like they're stuck on repeat in life.

[@francesbernard2445]

Harder to remember that when that house is big as a palace with more than one serving them there at the time.

[@Kim-fu1vn]

Lack of empathy joy authentic. Etc Empty. They drain u to. Such a sick state...I am sick rite now....I need help there is more than one playing with me. I'm done they have won. They got my car off the road, they have stole every last preces of paper that proves who I am. My ID is gone.... this is Kim coronato. 733 shore walk Lindenhurst ny 11757.

[@TheMaestroOfMortification.]

Without emotional empathy there is no unconditional love.

[@carolyn5666]

this is 100% true....self victimization feeds their dissatisfaction!

[@L.Fontein7]

Without it there's no love period.

[@Lightmotivationofficial]

But they don’t have 😢

[@devtest8078]

Most human love is confitional, no?

[@rebeccadirks5385]

1. Unable to be truly grateful and thankful 2. Lack of Adaptability 3. Inability to be Authentic 4. Do not have independence 5. They are not able to listen to Care about you with genuine concern

[@etaokha4164]

I remember I bought myself a shoe and asked him what do you think of it? The look on his face said it all and he made a slight comment of "hmm its nice " and he didn't speak to me when i wore my shoe to go out until we got home and i took it off then he spoke to me. This people are cowards like weak cowards. When he discarded me and he missed our son hospital appointment I went no contact and after i went no contact, he didn't try to even know how his child was doing or try to find out if the child misses him or not. Not a single care in the world about the child and he has gladly moved on to another relationship. I feel sorry for him because not only is he a loser but a parasite who cant survive without being around people to leash on. They are parasites

[@rawthe]

How was he supposed to ask about his son after you went "no contact"?

[@VampBalletDancer]

Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm saddened to hear that there was no care for the child on the narcist's end, but it is for the best the narcist will not be present. I genuinely think survivors calling narcissists parasites is being too generous. In nature parasites have a purpose and generally, they do not wish to harm their hosts. Narcists are dangerous to their victims (the host) and they do not care for the survival of the life they drain. Narcists are lesser life than even a parasite in my eyes.

[@zellerized]

​@@rawthe Pick up the phone, jack

[@Isabela2024-yr]

Knowing the narcissist through and through, I learned not to expect anything from him. He lives like debris floating in the air, but I don't give a damn about it. I love myself first before anything else.

[@joseenoel8093]

They fail at destroying us, they can keep being demons to and for themselves, we've high self-esteems made by us for ourselves!

[@actionpls.]

Being with a narcissist is a heartache. No matter how much love you show them. They can't retain any of their relationships. But, stil never look at themselves as the problem.

[@dianadenman5637]

My X made me feel that it was my job to make sure the entire universe worked well for him. I was blamed for EVERYTHING that he was unhappy about. I was very young. After 13 years of trying to "measure up" , I ran away. I couldn't just walk out the door. He controlled EVERYTHING. 40 years later, I've never remarried. To this day, he blames me as the reason his life is so unhappy, in spite of having another wife and many resources from his family. (I "wasted his youth") This kind of info was not available so many decades ago. Thank you so much for such a clear & concise explanation.

[@Rosalie-ct8mi]

marriage is not a guarantee for a happy life. I just want to have nice friends and I will see what happens, but to live by yourself without stress from your narcissitic husband is very very relaxing and so peaceful. Being happy and peaceful is something very important and nowadays there are so many narcissists with all the social media......

[@georgiafrancis9059]

Me too, although I walked out at 11 years, then he became by stalker.

[@jp4163]

"There is no one home." That is so true.

[@carparthero]

narcissists are also doomed to fail at: -being able to self-reflect -ceasing to be a coward. -having empathy -admitting mistakes and learning from them cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁

[@norcal1009]

Cheers! 😂 I agree! In a nutshell, doom and gloom describes the narcissists I've ever known. Rhetorically speaking, why can't the narcissist spin a positive note away from their inner darkness and mental illness? It's quite baffling to wonder about.🤪

[@carparthero]

@@norcal1009 thanks for your kind words. a narcissist being happy is so temporary. it's like pouring water into a cup with a hole at the bottom. there is no amount of effort, resources, energy you can put into them that would make them happy or satisfied. -all the best, steven.

[@L.Fontein7]

Yes, all of the above. The coward part was something I discovered only recently.

[@norcal1009]

@d.schubert2526 😆 it's being able to detect their nuances when they are least aware you're paying attention. 🤣💞

[@carparthero]

@@L.Fontein7 when the narcissist cannot control you (meaning you have seen them for who they truly are), they will try to control how others see you. so, be prepared for the smear campaign. -stay strong, steven

[@raykabre4928]

I never knew such a person existed. We got married and 3 months in....the mask fell. Everything you mentioned in this video happened. Needless to say after noticing the " narc patterns "to include the black colored eyes. I healed within the relationship and filed for divorced after 9 months. No way I was staying in that marriage. I was an empath and I went supernova on him. He can't even hover me😂. My spirit and his demons can not coexist in the same space. I win!! I thank the new supply everyday for my escape😊

[@jeanpaul4100]

If it's your first narc it can be quite shocking to realize that people like this exist. They are everywhere now. All over the world.

[@raykabre4928]

@@jeanpaul4100 it was! But I am so glad I saw it for what it was. Being a spiritual being, I ask God to reveal to me what that demonic spirit was. Of course I was scrolling through KZbin one day after that and the rest was history. It was spiritual warfare and I knew the only way to break free was to wait until it latched on to the new supply. We cannot and will not exist in the same space. I pray that others have the strength to leave...some aren't that lucky.

[@quasimodo614]

Yes there is definitely demonic in there. I discovered the narcissist spirit when watching a channel called Marc the messenger. It’s helped greatly to understand as my mum is a narcissist and my husband has one latched on him at work. Know thy enemy is a must. Peace and blessing to you, so glad you got out fairly quickly 🙏🙏🙏

[@truescotsman4103]

The majority of humans on this planet are very sick​@@jeanpaul4100

[@nicholecornes1915]

Thats AWSOME you caught that early! Praise God... hell no light and darkness can't co exist

[@ginapaschall]

"There's no one home and you have to accept that." Really good sentence too remember! Thank you!

[@emmagrove6491]

My sister is a narcissist, and I can tell you from experience that the only solution is to run far, far away and don't look back. Don't trust them, don't listen to them, don't get sucked in. You could literally end up dead. And that's not a dramatic exaggeration. That's a warning.

[@arianstiebs6619]

So true...

[@sarthakkrishna4238]

You are a really dramatic person

[@lindadavis9789]

I agree totally. No accountability. Like an empty vessel that feels nothing

[@jennywrenn469]

Mine feels 1 thing- sorry for herself

[@jackiepowell7513]

Empty clouds without water. Kjv Bible

[@jennywrenn469]

@@jackiepowell7513 Amen to that

[@Wherethereisnodarkness]

You mean they aren't feeling the way you want them to feel. They feel lots of things. If not, then how are they capable of constantly victimising themselves?

[@susanbenson3232]

Having lived with a narcissistic mom &, then a spouse, for all of my 61 yrs, & not knowing why I felt so bad, & struggled with depression & anxiety, I can tell you this is true! I didn't realize they were both covert narcissists until the last yr. Knowing has helped me finally start to find healing. For many yrs, I thought I could love them more or better, & they'd treat me better. Nope. Thank you for your videos. I'm getting help from you, & others on KZbin, & support from other people who've also been victims of narc abuse!

[@Canadian-Carnivore]

I will be 61 in 3 weeks and in the same boat as you. What an absolute shame. I am just so grateful now that I am learning “ what the heck happened “!! I went “ no contact” a year ago before understanding what “ no contact” actually was. I love my own children unconditionally and feel it would be impossible not to!! My narcissistic mother has ruined so many lives and has left a wake of destruction and dysfunction! I am soooo grateful to have finally found information to help heal from this terrible situation. I have two older sisters who are a complete mess, who are still hopeful for their mothers love “ trauma bond” Both of them have been married and divorced at least once. One live on welfare and is obese and the other is in a permanent state of depression! I have an abusive hateful older brother who I had to cut out of my life at the same time as our mother “ golden child” ( also a narcissist). He has never been married and has no children, thank God! My other brother I instinctively cut out of my life because of his violent rhetoric about our dysfunctional family every time he was with me! I separated from him so as to not “ infect” my children with his dysfunctional trauma! That was 15 years ago, and solely to protect my children from his uncontrollable rage!! He was the main “ scapegoat” and was married and divorced 3 times. He has two children whom he has zero relationship with! Unbelievable! What a mess! My biggest regret is that it took me this long to see it all for what it is. The grieving of my family’s “death”was very painful and caused me to be physically ill for months. It still hurts incredibly. However, I have started to heal and am very grateful for that. I am most grateful for the unconditional love that I have for my children! ❤️. I can’t imagine having children and feeling nothing, or worse yet, actually loathing them!! Scapegoat no more!! ☮️

[@susanbenson3232]

@@Canadian-Carnivore I'm so very sorry this has been your experience as well. Narcissism is incredibly destructive. I hope & pray you continue to find healing & healthy, loving relationships.

[@casschadwick5819]

The 42 years of my marriage have been just this awful. I guess the real question is why have I stayed? Oh. The kids…the retirement money…it all sucks.

[@susanbenson3232]

@@casschadwick5819 the lost years are a huge part of the grieving. We do what we can, when we can. Part of healing, for me, is learning to be kind to myself. I wish the same for you.

[@JF32304]

They feed off emotions, this in turn will drain you and it'll never be enough for them. A black hole for emotions... Disgusting!

[@flowerchild89]

I always look forward to Danish's videos 😊!! My narcissistic mother never had a sense of self. She acted like whomever she was around.( Even toxic people). She is a chameleon. And a rattlesnake!!!🐍 But she acted a different way with me behind closed doors. I could never trust her. I never will. I feel like I don't know her at all. I've been NC with her as of May 2022.

[@maggiesalle2256]

Congratulations!

[@freud5898]

@emilyannam8003, you are so enlightened to recognize the lack of a sense of self in a narcissistic mother. It is almost scary to be around them knowing they will take off on the next emotional whim and leave you in the dust of their emotional change. In my case, my mother was educated herself, but now hated education. She sent me to school with holes in my shoes, no paper/pencils, etc. The teachers would ask other students to give me supplies for tests. In Mama's later life, she had opportunity to become friends with those same teachers. Now, they were the finest people on earth, her dear friends, who worked hard to attain their college degrees, aren't they wonderful, etc. In the meantime, I worked two jobs and spent eleven years getting 3 college degrees. I was terrible/shouldn't be attending worldly colleges/was looking for an easy living because I was too lazy to work on a real job, etc. All this happened at the same time, and it was very confusing to me even as an adult. When she was with those teachers, they were wonderful. When she was with me, I was terrible -- all in the same day. That comes from a lack of a basic sense of self.

[@baisalimitra4865]

​@@freud5898plz go no contact with her. Just leave her and start a new life. Don't let her evil shadow cast darkness on your life.

[@RonSafreed]

I had to evict my narc. brother in Apr 2021 & I have been NC since, even have locks & chains on my gates because he has trespassed onto my property according to neighbors!!

[@kelvinhandley8141]

7:09

[@atticusandnofriends8481]

I love your description of a narcissist "there's no one home" that's an excellent description. Of all the description of a narcissist I've heard that nails it. Nothing else needs to be said. That's it in a nut shell. No pun intended. 😊

[@freedomwarrior5087]

Yup, the superficial show is a house of cards, the lights are on but no one is home.

[@norcal1009]

Narcissistic superficiality reminds me of the idiotic 'people who live in glass houses' saying, that stupidly makes the suggestion that we're all the same no matter what our faults. It is wrong and lacking integrity to say that all people in society are somehow equal in their deceptions and flaws. 🤪

[@tamihunt3659]

Never follows thru with anything

[@norcal1009]

But they sure know how to start things with no direction, just making it up as they go while not letting anyone stand in the way of their chaotic obsessions.

[@aliraelei3313]

So true I agree with you.

[@zandatee]

The main thing - to LOVE. Also feel genuine joy - from music, nature, just out of nothing. This is observing my Covert narcissist mother.

[@Rosalie-ct8mi]

exactly! My mother always needed to do some household chores and could never be relaxed and enjoy things, they ARE not joyful people!

[@gonzaga45377]

You are right! My husband can never enjoy anything beautiful anywhere. He always has something negative to say and will try to ruin moments for me. He tries but I will not let him. I tell him occasionally that I know exactly who he is and what he is about. Strangely, he will just leave me alone after that comment.

[@zandatee]

@@gonzaga45377 I guess to a real narc you can not say it. Just leave and not look back. Before I went no contact with mother, I told her that she looks young and I feel sad and all such stuff. And just run away. Just days later I started to search for information and found out all this from medical side. She just bacame more and more extreme and strange. Thats how I discovered and started to seriously investigate. Real medical NPD of course is not just a nasty character. Its an illness. Which is also my mothers case.

[@daynapeterson9033]

I see these traits in a friend. She's always leaving husbands; always finding new husbands; talks the husbands into moving to newer homes, and a year later she wants a different home; has to go on a big trip every 3 months and changes jobs often and is now unemployed but still wants a new house. This current husband jumps through hoops. So sad.

[@petrosspetrosgali]

Her name isn’t karen or Kara is it?

[@danilaroche1156]

Then why are you friends?

[@mikimiki6202]

They claim men love trash, oops....I mean a challenge

[@mikimiki6202]

​@danilaroche1156 I have a couple of these friends from childhood. They're more like aquantances these days. We aren't quite aware as kids, what they are yet. I become aware of what a narcissist is within the last couple of years and have distanced myself from one of them. Anyone with true experience with a narcissist, should understand how difficult it can be to separate from these people. Baby steps. The husband jumper mentioned in this post, may have a few more issues interlinked with her narcissism. One of the ladies I mention, was physically abusive to her boyfriends back in the day. The men absolutely loved her, she could have did anything and they would've asked for seconds. I was baffled back then🤷‍♀️ crazy world

[@nicolecarnevale3226]

Karen? Can you explain?

[@shamailaahmed7442]

Gosh, this was really informative, because I just could not understand why someone was unable to empathise with others or why someone would enjoy seeing people suffer. I learnt a lot from your videos, and learnt to accept there are truly horrible people on earth that can't be helped no matter what

[@mikimiki6202]

Sad. I wondered that myself. Scary

[@masztaarc]

I have to say that my narcissistic father is highly competent, a life long medical doctor. He uses that to feed his ego, telling us that we aren't educated like he is and therefore our opinions don't count (even if the subject has nothing to do with healthcare). Went no contact a couple of weeks ago at age 39. Should have done it 15 years ago.

[@sapusatestokje2451]

Relatable. I decided tonight to go no contact. Fuck mate...

[@masztaarc]

I'm on week 3 now and the best advice I can give when it comes to mindset (this far, I'm new to this as well) is that you don't think about this as a temporary fight/disagreement you had with your narcissist. You have to realize it's unfixable, even if the current problem gets solved there will be a new conflict within a month or two. They don't change and in my experience they only get worse. It gets easier knowing that, because you know that your anger or forgiveness towards them for the latest thing won't matter to anyone except you. It's a terrible situation to be in, but cutting them off is the only solution I can think of that doesn't involve compromising our soul further. I've had to say and do things that are truly demeaning to myself and others in order to just keep the peace, including throwing my own brother under the bus just to avoid conflict. Pretending to agree and even add to the narcissist's view in order to gain momentary favor, things that go against my nature. These people have no bottom level. There's nothing they won't say to get their supply. Both you and I will be better off going no contact.@@sapusatestokje2451

[@sapusatestokje2451]

@@masztaarc yes i understand. what made me finally decide, is that they litteraly cannot be forgiven. in order to be forgiven you have do admit wrong. and thus, never being wrong ofcourse, the narc just keeps on going, scratching on it forever. history the same as the future. they can do no wrong. personally, i think there is a whole deeper layer to them. some demonic entity switched places with them. there is nothing left inside, but a beast. their soul gone, in the abyss. the faith of this demon. and the demon gets to live in the body for a while. it uses memories of the person they once were as a mask. thats why when the mask goes off, they are nothing but filth. and why ,to many, it seems so believable. its just a hollowed out mask with somethin else inside. and here we are, we cut off these beasts. been used for them to switch places AGAIN, we suffered the torment, that was THEIRS. untill we get rid of em for good.

[@karamlevi]

Send him a card once a year and aim at the will. Don’t offend him. Also don’t suck up. Find a real complement and put that in the card. Keep no contact otherwise, and work on your money and self in all ways and keep going. Your being brave and strong and it the wisest of choices you have made. I’m part Jewish and my father is more Jewish then I am, and he tells me I’m less special ect for many reasons but that blood thing is a part of it, plus his wealth and many buildings he’s made in the world. They want to eclipse your value 24/7/365 as I’m sure your horrifically aware. Good job on your choice and always remember what you want to say will never ever be wanted to be heard by him. Play your role at a distance and use excuses but stay in contact like 1 time a year and maybe on the birthday. Think of it as a life tax. Your paying tax with goal of gaining wealth. Act pro. It’s a job. It’s like a long term investment. Your meeting with a client. Act like that. Why? Cus that’s the truth… That is the only good that’s open to actually have. All else will suck you in and harm you. This is high strategy and you know what? They like it. They like being treated like that. Yes they will mis going crazy on you… but they do respect those that act like this. I’m 48, my father just died @ 83 a few months ago. Request a copy of the will now. Do it. Get things ironed out. You can send him a copy of your will. Trigger reciprocated actions. When he’s dead… you will still be healing from these abuses. The money is neutral. It has no enemy. You want that blessing it’s it’s available. Okay bro. Take care-

[@darshanagupta9741]

I went no contact around the same age. To our surprise, he died in 3 years after that.

[@sandy-pf9bb]

My parents were both narcissists, one overt, one covert. It has taken me years to begin to recover bc their best thing was to make me believe all the chaos was my fault. I have felt guilty and worthless every day. Its only been in the last years that I have begun to see. This video is the most accurate one I've ever seen. If I could have known these things years ago, maybe i could have escaped without permanent damage. You do have to escape bc nothing you do will make it better. They think so differently than we do and they are completely unable and unwilling to change. This video is just so true, thank you.

[@BlueleafDanny]

Surviving a childhood of hatred. Experiencing extreme low self worth for most of my life, which caused further suffering and traumatic events. I think the hardest thing was to realize I had to prioritize and protect the kid in me. The kid that was trapped in a living hell. I also have seen karma at work. Let people suffer their choices, don’t save the narcissist. I survived that hellish environment, and they reap now what was sowed.

[@melissamartin9615]

Lord have mercy- Every single point you made, Danish- I was shaking my head in agreement. The man I have dated and given 27 years of my life to- I mow refer to him as "The Walking Dead." He has a black pit inside where his heart should be. It's completely, incredibly amazing how my brain was tricked repeatedly to give him another chance. I gave him excuse after excuse as to why he acted like a cold zombie towards me, but when he was around others he comes "ALIVE" and wins actor of the year everytime. So many signs were there all these years. I just can't believe humans exist like this. They feed off others like parasites. It's an unbelievable mind twisting game and I was locked-in for 27 years. I'll never get that time back and to him it was NOTHING that mattered.

[@leefossett5777]

I would love to see someone really confront my narcissistic stepmother so she couldn’t pull her shit just once, just once. Once, when a reporter was doing a story on her business, she asked to see it and REWROTE it! Total control, total. It gets old, really old. I went no contact before I even knew what she was and I’m so proud of myself for distancing myself from her even though I lost my extended family in the process. I think they’re slowly coming around because of her insatiable needs. So evil. Thanks 4 your insight.

[@TimSullivanSullivan-p1g]

A narcissist is never home. That is brilliant. Thank you Dnaish

[@fightback397]

Literally .

[@architgupta9082]

Constant dissatisfaction... Never being satisfied... Thanklessness... Complaining... This breaks the normal partner narc has... Sad..

[@user-q992]

My mother was like this. I had to flee the country and cut almost all contact with her just to survive. She was trying to chase me all her life through her brothers and sisters ( to whom she had lied about me and made them also hate me ). Finally I had to distance myself from them too. I have never seen such jealous people in my life.

[@MostWant3d007]

I like when you said they are the “master of none”. In their minds they are the one who should be looked up to….or praised. But have done nothing in their miserable lives for others to praise them in the way they want or “need”.

[@KAT-wo1js]

Right! Everything about his character is exactly what you say in all your messages, yet he accused me of being who he is when I am the total opposite. He said I was broken, insecure, and I am a strong, intelligent, and loving women. I got rid of him quickly. Sometimes while arouns him, I would actually feel a pressing in my body, like my spirit was trying to push out. It was like waking on eggshells with him, but he said he felt that way with me. I got tired of the lies, accusations, his disappearing acts, devaluing me, and everything. Towards the end, he would constantly ask me if I thought I was giving him my best, and that I did not know how to love him. I showed him much love, but I realize I was not doing it in the way he wanted. That was to let him control me, cheat on me, devalue me, blame me for his unfair actions, and still love him inspite of. So, maybe he was right. So, I told him to go find someone who will knows how to love him. He took all the furniture he bought for us, at least that is what he said when he bought it. I picked it out, and he bought it. I was a little relunctant to allow that because I have always bought my own furniture and homes. Well, we moved in together, right after I gave my furnitire to my child. I'd had it about 5 yrs and it was still in good shape. I only had mattesses on the floor when he left. Thank God, I have a stable career and I know God will restore me. They do like to see others suffer, but Karma will hit them quickly.

[@Ksahdia]

I recognize a lot from my childhood and married life. I have narcissists in my family (no surprise that ex was one too, my parents married me off to their own family member). Some years ago I learnt about narcissists for the first time online and it explained so much of what was done to me. Anyway, years ago, there were many online explanations and definitions, but there weren't many tips and online coaches teaches us how to deal with this. I'm grateful that now there are. Knowing and understanding what happened, also helps to heal and to avoid going through similar things again. Thank you for that.

[@RonSafreed]

Even decades ago, there was "nothing" talked about narcissism & for many years I was banging my head against a wall & it was taking a toll on me & my life & my father & a younger brother were both narcs. & my poor mother was abused by both of them & the shock & trauma of seeing that!!

[@Cat-oj4oz]

This is my story, too... I went through years of therapy, but it wasn't until I heard about narcissism about two years ago that it finally "clicked" on what I was dealing with, that I was not alone, and that learning to say "NO" was imperative. The knowledge and power I've gotten through these lessons is staggering, and I am so grateful. Bless you!

[@Ksahdia]

@@Cat-oj4oz ❤

[@elliewegman1846]

It is not just the welcome words and personality of Danish that is awesome, it is also the people who follow/subscribed and comment. Believe me, and I've followed, now unfollowed, quite a few. When you pour your heart out, and six months later not one person has recognised your pain and taken the time to press a little like of support, then you know there is something really wrong going on. Just another enlightening moment on the road to self recovery. Danish, you and your followers are awesome.

[@dextermorganbloodspattersp6382]

Your Words 🦅 Ring True ... Massive 🦅 Respect for You , Your Comment and This Community 🦅🏆😎

[@pollinationfarms]

Aww 🥰 thanks!! That’s so sweet of you to acknowledge and I accept ❤ you are so right 🤩 and you are amazing too!

[@lennie1703]

The comment section to Danish's videos make it a conference of minds. I struggle to put it all into words myself, so it's so heartening to see others agreeing that our shared experiences are not acceptable. Way beyond acceptable and we're right to think that. There is no negotiation with pure evil. Validation of that principle is whst I find here.❤

[@pollinationfarms]

@@lennie1703 we are never alone , we are all one , we all do deserve better ❤️ and nothing wrong with wanting what’s yours …Joy and Happiness

[@mariaridler1831]

Great comment. I feel so much support from Danish but also from all of you out there - you help me make sense of my feelings and the chaos. Thank you all and God bless 🙏💕

[@truthh8597]

umm I disagree on one point majorly.. narcissists are actually VERY ADAPTABLE like chameleons that seem to fit in everywhere they go they also have 90% of the people around them charmed and wrapped around their finger only the ones they target are abused

[@danilaroche1156]

That type of 'adaptability ' is not real. It's self serving.

[@fainitesbarley2245]

It often doesn’t last.

[@kingbellnox]

That can only change colors...(by coping thouse around them) not ways. Throw a chameleon in a dessert and see how he die trying to adapt Adaptability Is More than just colors!! smh

[@th3azscorpio]

Sociopaths. Not narcissist.

[@danilaroche1156]

@@th3azscorpio I agree. Dangerous people.

[@blue.5058]

Very informative video. One thing about the “desire of perfection” narcissists expect, though- They only expect perfection from others. They rarely expect it from themselves. If anything, their highly-entitled nature dictates that they are immune from what they expect from others. I can remember times when I would get admonished by my narc father from the slightest variation in task, even resulting in screaming matches. But he can practically slack off on anything and it would be a complete non-issue. They simply don’t feel they’re subject to the same scrutiny as others.

[@Scott-n2x1j]

My dad also, he was a p.o.s. who would do the same to me and also had that same "immunity" because he is he

[@ericb8413]

You’re a genius Danish. You describe things I couldn’t put into words. Thank you 😊

[@pinkdaisy6592]

Wow. This is right on point. Crazy thing, my ex-narc actually told me I was a piece of trash! Honestly, I feel sorry for him. Realizing that he will never feel love or know how to love is a very sad existence. It's truly heartbreaking to know that he may not be saved and in my Christian belief that means he is doomed to hell. Utterly heartbreaking. I pray for his salvation.

[@SiewChingNg]

They listen to you and justify your suffering...and they really relish your suffering .That is so true!

[@mvbigmagic4048]

I accidentally found the way to counter this. My dad who is on hospice said, "Come here." I came to his bedside, and he says, "I pity you." I'm at a point in my life where I'm actually really happy. I said, "I don't think you need to pity me. I'm fine." And he listed all these things that he thought I should be sad about, including my children's disabilities. I laughed and said, "I love my kids. I think they're doing fine. You don't need to worry about them." And he stared at me for a moment and said, "You are strong." LOL! That was the key. I understood... he was on hospice, bed-bound, unable to walk, and he wanted me to come over and feel bad about myself so he could feel better about himself. Projection. He felt pitiable. I didn't fall for it. And he was dumbfounded. He did that several months ago, and he hasn't done it again since. He's unable to eke narcissistic supply out of me anymore. The key was to laugh at him.

[@jmccoomber1659]

Thank you for doing this Danish! I never realized that I was under the control of a narcissist until I finally freed myself. And it was actually them who freed me by finally crossing the line so far that it was impossible to go back. I always prided myself on being my own person, my own boss, but slowly over several years I allowed myself to be completely controlled by this person. As others have mentioned, that person is a snake, a liar, who pretended to be a caring person and was extremely likable and popular among people who didn't really know them. When I finally got my home and my life back, they first tried to "warn" everyone I knew that I was the real liar and thief, and when that didn't work, they started crying (literally) about how badly I treated them! That person would literally have died several times if I had not stepped up and managed medical care for them but when I needed physical and mental healthcare I was treated like I was doing something wrong by going to therapy or the doctor. I think that was when I first realized there was something drastically wrong with that person, when my health didn't matter. It has been more than four years since I have had any contact with that person and I'm still trying to figure out how to live in a world where I'm not questioned, belittled and punished for doing the right things. It seems like fear still dominates my mind, and sometimes it's hard to even recognize what the right thing to do is, I was so conditioned to make (often terrible) decisions based on the fear of the consequences rather than whether what I needed to do was actually the right decision. I still struggle a lot but it seems to be getting easier as time passes. I hope I can truly heal from the trauma I allowed that person to put me through, and I know I need to stop blaming myself for what happened and recognize I was a victim. I keep thinking I allowed myself to be victimized but that's not really true, it was so slow and insidious that I could not see what was happening until it was full-blown abuse. By then I was afraid to ask for help because that would mean admitting I had allowed this to happen. I'm blessed to have a loving, caring partner now, who tells me every day that he trusts me and believes in me and my abilities to make good decisions. Slowly that loving voice is silencing the old scary echoes in my mind. Now I just need to keep doing the next right thing and stop punishing myself for my past failure to recognize the abuse until I was so isolated that I had no one left to turn to for help. This is probably TLDR but thank you Danish for your channel, your videos have helped me in my healing journey 🙂

[@videosmith1000]

Spot on. And regarding health care: my narc father-n-law was on his death bed with tubes in every orifice and whispered to me: “I’m not dying”. He was ornery, manipulative, and insulting until he literally could not move anymore.

[@juanderuano8969]

Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me,i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, i love her so much, i dont know why i am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her

[@juanderuano8969]

wow, how did you get a spiritual adviser, and how do i reach her?

[@juanderuano8969]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive.

[@blurrylights6344]

"not for the family they pretend to be a part of" No truer words. Years before I knew anything about narcissism, I filed for divorce after 20 years of marriage. Talking with my attorney I said that he wants all the benefits of marriage and none of the responsibilities. He never participates in the life of our family. His clothes are in the closet, his mail gets delivered here and he sleeps here but that's it. Thank you for another great video.

[@HopeinJesus1987]

I have just left this living nightmare... this exact situation. I think my heart and soul could not take the abuse any more. I hope you are taking care and sending blessings to you 🙏

[@blurrylights6344]

@HopeinJesus1987 That's so kind. Thank you. I very occasionally have a flashback, but I just let them float right back out. I've been happily solo for over 10 years. Same to you.

[@Majsztrik]

Wow, this is just like my husband. I’m still with him for the kids. I’ve been asking him for marriage counseling and only after he had a nervous breakdown this year did we start going. He is getting better at not getting his anger out. I’m also getting better at regaining my confidence and independence.

[@suzannemckitterick2781]

Brilliant. Yes, reality is what you have stated. There is nothing there when a narcissist is listening. No remarks, no thoughts, no gratitude. Yes..

[@jenniferarnold-delgado3489]

Danish you have lifted me into a more understanding level of what I dealt with and am dealing with - the calmness that you approach this is extremely helpful to me personally . I have been able to really see it all clearly , and not let it make me stop being the person I am , which is a compassionate friend and loyal family member . Keep doing the very good work you are doing , it is helping me , and I am sure many others .

[@carriejoza6192]

Very nice comment. I agree with you.

[@mariaridler1831]

Lovely ☺️

[@LightsVancouver]

every 6 months his personality would change, everytime his family came to visit - he would change deep down.

[@moonlightstargem1006]

He was wearing different masks

[@laurelvance5533]

You have accurately described the narc in my life. Exactly...every word.

[@danilaroche1156]

Leave. He'll destroy you

[@jewelwinter734]

wow he speaks the truth about my mom but I face that it's true ❤️

[@jengibson7356]

My ex went to the police and was accusing me of hacking his phone, stealing from his home and breaking in to his home. Even though he has cameras all around and house is locked up like a fort. The police didnt believe him and saw right through him. This is all because i broke up with him and no longer believe his lies. Its so exhausting and i dont even feel safe anymore as he has gone crazy. Such a liar and manipulative. Really calculated too. Very dangerous people.

[@velvetgardenia]

Just saved to my Best of the best folder. Thanks, Danish. I always enjoy, learn from, and find reassurance in your videos.

[@FulvioGa]

Your teaching is invaluable.

[@FirstLove_111]

What a great ministry God gave you exposing the works of the devil!!!🎉

[@priyankachougule8538]

Basically I am calm and awakend person.but still I was struggling for my happiness and calmness due to my mother in law. Danish you r really helped me to ignore narc and I am so much in peace.

[@Ana_Sor4ever]

Even one year after my divorce from my ex covert narcissist husband, I am still amazed by his developments and the way he operates . His actions speak for themselves.

[@tonyale749]

How is it? I’m curious, i think my ex is a covert narcissist…. Still learning

[@Ana_Sor4ever]

@@tonyale749 He knows what is upsetting me and the children and he is doing that every time he has the chance , he is superior with me whenever we talk because he truly does not care about breaking up and he sees me suffering and getting emotional every time we try to speak . He asks for half of everything we have , although I am with the kids and I payed for everything in our 16 year’s marriage. He is truly enjoying his new life . Everyone around him thinks he is the victim because he blamed me for the divorce , although it was an abusive marriage and I was the only one suffering so much that I even got a cervix cancer , but now I am ok , thanks to God !

[@zareththealchemist8982]

You put it so plainly, it makes me wonder if you learned all of this info firsthand. Great work. You're helping lots of victims. ☺👍

[@Kozie211]

As an older survivor around narcissism, I keep asking myself; why, what did I come here to do, who or what brought me here???? At my age, I finally learned that you can never change them, heal them, improve them.... Still, unfortunately I am left with the initial questions, for whom? what? why? how long...?....🤷‍♀

[@souspierres4630]

"There is no one at home." YES! this is exactly what I finally noticed about him! I kept wondering, "What is missing here, what is missing here?", when one day I was having a side-by-side conversation between him and his brother. I noticed how lively and cheerful his brothers eyes were, then, when I had to turn to talk to the narc, I noticed a black hole. Absolutely nothing, NOTHING!!! in the narc's eyes. I thought, "Oh shit...." I had to let on that nothing was amiss until a few days later when I was safely away from the narc.

[@carolosborne2899]

As a prior victim of a narcissist i can tell you is the most amazing accurate description of the operation of narcissists. Thank you!!

[@lynndorris7291]

This is helping me understand a lot about my own child. She started stealing clothing from me when she was in college and I could never understand why. When he said something about a narcissist copying someone it was very revealing! I couldn’t go shopping with her and not have to buy two of the same thing! Her behavior was odd in those circumstances not sweet and grateful. The stealing became a serious issue! After she graduated college she went full blown crazy and hateful! Now I understand her strange, distant reactions to my love and support. It is a painful thing to go through when it is someone you are related to and love.

[@alicearcturus8610]

Thank you! I hope your life is running smoothly and peacefully. Every thing you said is true.

[@SteveJ-o3o]

My wife has a really difficult time purchasing birthday cards for her narcissistic mother. Cards all say how wonderful their mother is. Her mother is the opposite of what a mother should be. It's really sad. My wife is disappointed every year ! Along with being disappointed through out the entire year of being cheated out of a loving, caring, compassionate mother. I am thankful I was blessed with wonderful parents !

[@HameshaSobti]

Oh I once got a birthday card from my narc husband that said It’s your birthday. Enjoy ! 🙄

[@laurahardgrove955]

Having to find a card for them is awful!

[@cassien7585]

My inlaws are narcs. I worry about what happens when one of them passes. They are each other's biggest enablers. What happens when you don't have the supply, the protection of an enabler. My FIL will collapse if his wife goes first. She literally does everything for him. I'm worried he'll become more a demon than he already is.

[@lucyt-c8092]

can YOU ( and your spouse - their child ) MOVE ? very fat away before either one passes?

[@cassien7585]

@@lucyt-c8092 we live severalmstates away

[@georgiafrancis9059]

If you're lucky, they will go together! That's what I'm hoping with the narcs in my life.

[@mvbigmagic4048]

It is scary. My mom is a narcissist and my dad is her enabler. He is on hospice, and ever since he was put on hospice in June, my mother has been a stark raving terror of a narcissist. She has dementia, and will not seek help, and is doing all sorts of bizarre things. Stress makes dementia symptoms worse. So add dementia + narcissism.... it's like a demoness on steroids.

[@theunknowngamer5477]

This lecture has me truly wide awake....Number 3 really tears me a new awareness. Living in a zone of survival where the next five minutes is a miracle or hell, my thoughts fall into a pit of gravity. Hearing someone say the words, with the info unable to be whole from my inside self....Thank You ! Describing this allowed level of mental illness as existing, way past anything authentically Human...2ND Thanks. The use and abandonment of sympathy/empathy, only a Monster does that.

[@SabrinaDanielle-c7s]

40 years with one. He’s also a psychopath with OCD and he admitted a few years ago that he hears voices in his head. He found a new feed and is moving on after he leaves me with nothing. He leaves a path of destruction.

[@adrismit6084]

Sad that they are so shallow. Great insight

[@gretenaaden7613]

Super! 'My' narc is now complitely n a k e d! He is an empty box. And I am really happy to see and know.

[@L.Fontein7]

Yes. Recently, CN and I were sitting on the couch watching TV and I glanced over and saw his silhouette as he was looking straight ahead at the TV. And it hit me: 'My god, he's empty inside...there's nothing IN there. He's totally empty inside.' It was chilling.

[@zodlovesyou7146]

"They can't be thankful", even when they pretend to be. If they say "you didn't have to do that", rather than just "thank You", that's a good sigh right there.

[@sirrevzalot]

Pretending to know someone else’s thoughts is the essence of judging another. And it’s not ethical, nor does it demonstrate charity. The phrase “You shouldn’t have…” isn’t an inauthentic expression. In some cases, it honestly means what it sounds like: I didn’t ask for this. Expecting a thank you under such circumstances is itself a narcissistic plea for attention.

[@cadis9319]

Thank you so much. I was not aware that one of the longest relationship partner was actually a narcissist. Everything you said above is simply true. Parter also says "i love you" everyday, promising "will never leave you, will be with you forever". When partner realize you don't like him/her anymore and was going to leave, they would break up with you first. They do not hesitate to break every promise. Also, whatever they promised, they never complete. They did nothing to fulfill their promise. They only say it. They dispect you, and twisiting facts to make you believe they care about you, but that's fake. They do not truly listen at all. They also never truly tell you anything about their real self. They are so disconnected from their feelings, whenever you ask them how they feel, they said "i don't know." No real communication ever happened at all. They did reply you, but when you look at their answer closely, they never truly tell you anything. They would also twist facts saying that not telling you or hiding something from you do not mean lying, which is BS. They constanly need to see friends. They said they can be alone, but they can't. They are irresponsible, unable to take responsibility. They act good in front of their friends, if you say this is a narcissist, every friend will defend for him/her, not trusting your words. This is simply frustrating!

[@SoundsBogus]

Frustrating? There's an understatement. I'm experiencing exasperation and a descent into madness.

[@zeealinab8038]

Being knowledgable about narcissist disorder has helped me decide to not fight to keep the relationship. I never knew about the disorder and accidentally I came across some videos of narcissist disorder. All that you have said in the video is so on point. Its the road to the journey of self love and heal.

[@mvbigmagic4048]

Once you see the monster, it's hard to unsee it.

[@muddymike]

There was no accident

[@cdeweijer12]

Spot on! I made it my education to deal with this situation. It doesn’t buy me a degree but reading all these comments learns me I must have many fellow experts. The narcissist I am writing about is also a sociopath, very partial to a certain kind of people that can make him feel important. Everyone not meeting his needs are critisicized including the children and myself. Best wishes to all of you 🕊

[@cruzan8183]

Dementia has made my mother much kinder. She now refers to me as darling. Many years have been lost but I have had closure with my mother.

[@mvbigmagic4048]

You are lucky! I wish dementia had made mine kinder. In the past two years, she's grown increasingly paranoid, vengeful, and she doesn't even hide her lack of empathy anymore.

[@cruzan8183]

@@mvbigmagic4048 my mother can still be impossible to deal but the onset of dementia and her increased frailty has been a godsend. I had to seek guardianship to protect her assets from the buzzards who were circling. I am extremely fortunate. The flying monkeys were taking my mom’s money and were working towards obtaining financial control of her assets. My mom’s money is now being directed towards her care.

[@naiyalexic]

Chameleoning isn't necessarily all negative. Reading the room and responding in kind to your social and cultural surroundings is a positive skill, when it's done by someone who's not inherently narcissistic, and when it's not done in a way to get something because of a harmful agenda.

[@sirrevzalot]

I find you are correct from personal experience. Anti-narcissist KZbin is becoming increasingly trash content. All opinion and argument from authority. If we weren’t adaptable to our social surroundings, we wouldn’t be a social species.

[@kleogaruda815]

They referring to usual 24/7 chMelon not normal people adaptation

[@Neresdipity]

7:00 Every narc I've ever dealt with tried to make me feel like I couldn't handle being on my own, or that I'm not as independent as I actually am. Can you say...projection? 😂 To a person, everyone who tried that with me was an incredibly needy person who couldn't handle being alone. Yeah, I've gone into hyperindependence at tines, which isn't great, but I now have a life for which I only let people I trust into my world- a couple of good friends- as opposed to broken people who are trying to groom me to be as broken and needy as them so they can have access to me/feel better about their selves/take advantage of me. Life is good.

[@josephinepee811]

I recognize that narcissim so well, I lived through it my younger years and it is still carried on by an off-spring. Seems like I even see it in newborn babies, like a spawn of the devil kind of thing and as they grew older, it cometh, the antics of a person being owned by the darkness emerges, seems like as soon as they can really form a sentence, they start using narcissistic attitude and live right through it and just cause trouble along the way and more to those that have trespassed against them, even if that new target they found, may not have done it on purpose to trigger that dark side, which seems to be lurking in every corner, it comes full force and last a lifetime, with no forgiveness, no second chance. Always saying, "Kill me!" "Kill me if you hate me that much!" just to win the conversation they so sorely need and it's their way of manipulating their victims. No one else shows more "self-contempt," self-pity, self-love more than a narcissist. I hope I am wrong to say that it can start from infancy, the darkness, the hate, the very purpose of being alive, born to be an "Earthling" if you wiil, not some Soul that is just passing through the Earth, like someone who really belongs to the Earthly Ways and do the job of making other people miserable as they are themselves. A dark sort. Thrives on hate as I see it. No matter how much we pray for them to look the other way, they seem to take it the wrong way everytime and all the more they rebel against the disciplines they get. Evil is out there, people who are the advocates of the devil are very clever, some not so much, that they are only fooling themselves, not the ones they are trying to decieve, sometimes they start using "The Fool's Gold" to look superior, high and mighty against their victims. May God have mercy on their Souls and may they be forgiven, for they know not what they do. Instead of hating them, I feel sorry for them. The chaos they created are something they will have to answer to, someday. No matter what a narcissist is doing you over for, keep your cool and let Karma take over.

[@nemesister5109]

Not karma, let Jesus take over, vengeance belongs to God.

[@karenc7476]

We tend to think of narcissism in terms of a psychological response to trauma, but I am beginning to think of it as a generational curse passed on epigenetically. That or a familiar spirit that entered through trauma. Makes me think of Psalm 58:3 The wicked are estranged from the womb: they go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies.

[@mvbigmagic4048]

I believe these people start early being evil also. My mother brags about when she was little, she would take money from the people who were trying to give her sister money for singing. So she's been doing this since she was small. And bragging about it, even into her 70's.

[@styracosaurusqvt4841]

I think narcissism arises for two reasons, (1) a natural tendency passed on genetically, or (2) a deformation of the personality of a child subjected to abuse and neglect, a deformation that becomes more probable the more severe the abuse and neglect the child receives. It can also arise from a combination of those two factors. A spiritual dimension, I believe, is involved as well. I think mild narcissists retain a capacity for empathy, but only for those receiving treatment that they acknowledge would also cause them pain or suffering of some kind. If a type of treatment they receive doesn’t hurt them, then from their point of view others should submit to such treatment when they deliver it, even when the person objects and tells the mild narcissist that their treatment hurts them. There is an expectation that they reserve the right to decide what constitutes mistreatment, not the person they are abusing, especially when they deem themselves the rightful ruler of the domain they’re in, such as the home. Some narcissists also believe that if they had to suffer a certain kind of abuse or neglect as a child, they’re entitled to subject others to such treatment when they assume the position of power upon adulthood.

[@norcal1009]

These are the facts. I feel secure within myself to the point no words from anyone else can describe. A narcissist can only mimic a strong sense of security and authenticity.

[@norcal1009]

@user-py2lu9hk4d may I ask, what do you believe is true in this video?

[@charissewilliams2515]

This has got to be one of my favorite video from you . When I say each of these points were spot on , thank you for making this channel, it is extremely helpful and I have learned so much , besides realizing in 2021 I had been in a relationship with one for 14 yrs 😢I literally found out recently unfortunately that my brother is one as well and it was devastating. When ever I refer to a narcissist , I call them “not real people “ it is downright disgusting to me the way they are but it gives such clarity after you finally wake up and see what’s really going on . Again thank you for sharing your story and also helping us ❤

[@Rosalie-ct8mi]

It really does give you clarity when you know and realize that more family members are narcissitic and that you were never "crazy" as they were always demeaning and criticizing me. Me too I have been in a relationship with an extrovert narcissist who even spit me in the face when he was angry, simply disgusting people. These video's of Danish are so helpful and to read these comments are so comforting as we are not alone with these crazy making people. Take good care of yourself 🌷

[@mikimiki6202]

I had to double check the name to see if posted this and forgot. Same time frame in relationship, to when finding out to realizing that my brother is one as well. Scary. I pray to God to help us

[@charissewilliams2515]

@@Rosalie-ct8mi omg it’s crazy and sooo eye opening and the more you learn the more you can see them coming from a mile away . The disheartening feeling you get when you realize a close family is one of them is insane. I couldn’t agree with you more . Big kind hearted ppl gotta stick together cause I feel like the way the Narcs reproduce in years to come there’s is more of them then us 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

[@charissewilliams2515]

@@mikimiki6202 oh damn 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️that’s crazy yea if I didn’t get close to the mother of his child and his step mother to compare stories I would have never found out but now when I look back at his whole life it is sooooo clear 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️everything makes sense

[@carolincas]

thanks for getting to the point. i hate videos that are like twenty minutes long with like five minutes of information. this was great. the best part is when you said you just have to accept that theres nobody home.

[@b8akaratn]

Holy crap flaps... This was by far some of the most brutally accurate articulation in narc. assessments i have heard to date. Thank you for it, like beating liberation on my eardrums 😊

[@castingcauldron6578]

Thank you. I was married to a narcissist but I have to say when I was deathly ill with my gallbladder he was concerned that I would die and I would no longer be there. He saw me suffering night after night and suggested to take me to the hospital. During my recovery he bought all the best food and juiced vegetables twice a day to get me well. Hidden agenda yes but it worked to my advantage as he helped me get on a new diet to get healthy. But then I was back to being the primary caregiver and not getting affection. It made me a lot stronger and wiser.❤

[@tunkytunky]

I have an interesting story relating to the lack of independence tier. One time the narc I have to deal with (who is a mild case but still squarely on the pathological side) decided to participate in a 2-week medical study for extra money. In this trial they were predictably treated like a specimen, even given a number instead of a name. Treated just like everyone else and kept in a solitary environment. They were allowed to make video calls, and let me tell you, I've never seen someone fade so fast. The other people in the study were just chilling on their phones but my narc was really struggling, not just mentally but PHYSICALLY to the point that the medical facility paradoxically had to keep him in a few days longer which i do not think helped. The good news is, that ever since that particular incident, this person's behavior definitely improved. He still acts up and sadly i do know that the last one you said - that they wouldn't care if you were dying in front of them - is still probably true. Even if they fix their behavior, the low empathy which is their defining feature will always be there

[@rodhurst5831]

Nailed it man! I can’t believe I endured all that for as long as I did. So happy I made the right call and got out.

[@BeautyWithTiffy]

Brought back memories from things my mother did and made me remember once again that my stepfather married his mother. And why their relationship was so volatile and how people can get mixed in to this horrific life situations when they don’t have to if they just do the shadow work and their soul retrieval’s. It’s terrible.

[@marialewis2726]

You are an AWESOME teacher thank you so much sir you are appreciated God Bless you😁

[@michellegeisler7455]

Thank you so much you have just described my brother and mother. They are both all 5 . I kniw I've had to deal with it my whole life. I found a cure I don't have them in my life anymore. To much heart ach from them . Thank you again I now know I'm not the crazy one 😊

[@nitin9625]

hi, I could actually co relate every word you said, my mother feeds on my emotions, always disrespectful, egoistic, proudy, no sign of humbleness and if I confront then she plays the victim card. Thanks for posting this video brother ❤️

[@relied7934]

Ugh. The emotion vampire. I think that is a specialty with NPD moms.

[@tahaseenmajeed7089]

Awareness is always good .. i know what it is because you are informed about this term and know exactly they are upto.

[@stephanie6851]

your channel has been so therapeutic to me, so glad i stumbled across your vids.

[@chandnasingh4207]

Danish ,your vlogs have been so comforting.So many things that I couldn't find answers to ,are all explained by you.God bless you.

[@maryloudascoli]

I listen to Dinesh and Fr. Ripperger in order to understand narcissism and evil.

[@skbarnes2012]

That’s basically my narcissistic uncle. My grandma was his source of supply and she passed in June. He’s been trying to find another source of income and my mom and aunts aren’t giving in. He actually texted my aunt and he said he wants us to get cancer and he be the only one able to donate so he could tell the doctors to let us die. It’s been a nightmare to deal with him and we just want him to leave us alone but we know he’ll come back when he runs out of money.

[@Rosalie-ct8mi]

Oohh my goshh that he wishes your aunt to have cancer, wauwww he is not even hiding that he is an evil person.....Stay tough and do not let him ruin your life! Otherwise take another phone number if necessary, these people will never stop doing harm to people. I wished sometimes we could stick these people behind wallpaper , they are a nightmare! Take good care of yourself and please have strong boundaries with him 🙏

[@taopaille-paille4992]

Tell him he is a p o s

[@tjkasgl]

I have found ignoring them only pushes them into increasing their attacks, while responding feeds them. So when a friend turned on me with the attack I fully expected I wanted to reply with a full attack, instead I gave it some thought and came to the conclusion the simplest reply would be the most impactful. Everything in her long text was designed to enrage me, to cut me to the center of my heart, I sent her back a text with nothing more than a thumbs up emoji. Instead of me becoming furious, she did. It made her so mad she hasn't spoken or looked at me for a year. It's great! Tell your family to only reply to your uncle's attacks with thumbs up emojis. If he continues, help them all to block his number

[@MillillioN]

I'm aware of so many ways that I can deceive people but have no interest in taking advantage of people. I like to help reduce suffering. It has made me question whether I was a narcissist, borderline or just manipulative. After much searching of my motivations, especially after life throws a test of integrity my way, I find that my motives are decent and that my brain just registers all possibilities that it thinks of and brings ones that I don't like to the forefront. I don't try to use people. I just self guilt myself into feeling guilty 😅

[@deela262]

We have to try HARD to shed that aversion from our hearts. Otherwise we are forever victims, and who knows, might become narcs in our old age. Wanting things to happen our desired way and wanting to control the undesirable, wanting only the good things, wanting others to like us , wa ting perfect life...are all bad traits in the long run.

[@elliesimpson1313]

I'm a new happy subscriber! You have about the best channel out there. Succinct, to the point, and spot on. You resonate with me on SO many things I experienced for over 30 years ago. God bless you and thank you. 😘

[@jillr.austin1103]

Its never enough and never will be.

[@kathleendietz8935]

Everything you've said is Everything my soon to be ex husband is! Plus mine has been abusive as well! I've been with him 23 years with 3 breakups in between. It took 20 yrs to see he's a Narcissist! My daughter had sent me info and said Mom read this, I think this is the problem. Boy after reading about Narcissists a light bulb went off! And things he's done to me over the years and how he's acted all rushed back to me and finally made sense. So I've listened to many videos like yours and others. A year ago after an abusive night just bcuz I went to my daughter's birthday party, by the next morning when he was leaving I called the police and he was arrested. First time I felt safe after the abuse to call for help. 3 yrs he can't talk to me, I filed for divorce. As usual he left me with no money, and I'd had to quit my job 3 yrs ago bcuz he said he made to much money. A tax thing he said. He got a Lawyer and I couldn't. Went to first Court date without one. I have one now. 2 things in my mind I think about often is he's never in all our years held me in bed at night, he always had 4 pillows around him. If I put my arm on him just to feel close He'd keep jerking till I removed my arm. I've asked him how come its hard for you to be nice to me, a question he's never been able to answer. Once I learned what he is I had my answer 😢

[@mvbigmagic4048]

You escaped a bullet. It doesn't matter if he left you penniless. You were lucky to get away. My mom is a narcissist, and my dad is her enabler. Now that she has dementia, her narcissism is terrible! Imagine if you stayed married to him, and he developed dementia and you'd have to change your narcissistic husband's diapers. You are so LUCKY to get away!

[@catrinacantrell5466]

Thank you. I know that I have had that emptyness in survival mode but I have been healing spiritually and self love and my whole life is changing inside out.

[@touchofgrace3217]

“Their reality and their fantasy are completely different.” This explains why my mom craves fantasy and despises reality. It also explains why she dismisses the blessings in her life and fixates on only the negative and why she makes mountains out of mole hills. Now, if I can just figure how to handle her behavior. It’s so psychologically exhausting.

[@relied7934]

Why is it our job to 'handle' our NPD mothers? Didn't we spend enough time 'handling' them when we were kids? Not judging you, I'm in the same boat. Mom, ever since I can remember, does the Great Abandonment Drama whenever my Dad left town. He's going out of town. My sibs are texting me "Whoa! Ready for this?" (I live closest to my parents.) It's become an inside joke with us. Now I'm wondering, if she does meltdown-why is that my problem? How do I say No, when I'm trained and conditioned to 'handle' her? I don't know how to say no.

[@touchofgrace3217]

@@relied7934 I see what you’re saying. From my perspective it’s not so much handling her as much as it is the incessant negativity, complaining, and nasty back handed comments that come in a never ending stream.

[@relied7934]

@@touchofgrace3217 Yes, I've had a lifetime of that behavior, too. So what do we do? I have a backpack full of 'dealing with mom' tactics. To keep her peaceful I have to cater to her and fake a love I don't feel anymore. It's exhausting to be around her. I get frustrated so quickly! I get resentful, I feel bitter. It brings out the worst in me, which I have to spend energy keeping under control. I don't like myself when I'm around her. I'm putting on an show to handle myself so I can handle her NPD- we're both fakes.

[@BusArch42]

Boundaries. Set them and hold them

[@danetteperez3863]

You have such insight and wisdom , Oh, if only I knew this years ago, I know that I have PTSD. For a long time I knew that I was damaged goods but had no name for it. Now I know. You have helped me so much.

[@junkettarp8942]

I always knew I was the best.