How to Defeat a Narcissist using STONE strategy

[@SteffiDon-b5w]

STONE: Stand Tall Offer Nothing Navigate Elsewhere JADE: (Dont) Justify Argue/Apologize Defend Explain Grey Rock: Give no emotion

[@martinas8063]

This is the best narci counselor on the net.

[@nutterbutter5255]

I slammed the door in his face this morning when he showed up. The weight of the world just lifted off me after 27 yrs of being with a narcissist. Love yourself first everyone!! ❤️

[@faithfulone06]

You go girl. That's the spirit. 👊👊😊💐❤🙋

[@JamesNGames]

In my ongoing saga with my narcissistic family and spouse, I've not only embraced the Stone method and Gray Rock but have reached such mastery that I've essentially become a living, breathing gray rock. Living the monochromatic life, one stone tactic at a time!

[@notanomba4598]

we've become quite the geologists with these people😆😆

[@lizh1988]

Rock with moss, I've been a rock since birth!

[@fofs3084]

I struggle with this because I have a 4 month old and I sometimes cannot switch on or off with her around. I find myself being like a rock to her too and this breaks my heart.

[@annekenney6914]

❤ I thought I was the only one that came up with the stone strategy. Become unpredictable, because they are stalkers, always studying you. It is unfair that you have to change your life/schedule. 😢 But it does get your creative juices flowing, trying to navigate an escape.

[@rituvij8547]

I have been doing all that you are suggesting and it is working. I am at peace (within the limitations imposed by the narssictic spouse). I am mentally and emotionally divorced from him despite staying in the same house. I sleep in a different room, financially I am independent, buy my own food and cook only for myself, don't mingle with him, do not go out with him, pursue yoga as a hobby and to mentally calm myself. My future is completely uncertain but I have got control of my present. I am looking for a job to strengthen my financial position.

[@tapaswini1999]

I have found it to be very helpful to eat, drink, watch tv or read when my narcissistic spouse isn’t close by. He tries to put me in a bad mood when he sees me enjoying something. I used to get very discouraged but less so now, as I understand his personality disorder. Thank you for the videos. They have helped me a lot.

[@silvrfox2uBooboo]

You ask what i do to help my situation: I majored in Art in High School. NOW my talents are being used to help MY good friends to be encouraged and we have a closer bond: I make them travel mugs decorated with lots of bling on the outside, and their name or nick names on them also in bling, and create beautiful cards with daisies and foliage on outside and helpful Scriptures inside, printed out in different colors and hand-cut out, for strength at just the right time for whatever THEY may be dealing with in life. I keep my eyes focused on THEM, and what they need. It's exciting, inside me, when working on each one, 'cause I know when they open up the package I send, they are SO happy. That's what really matters in life: the squealing of happiness when someone else is cared about.....(and boy do i LOVE Dollar Tree, they make it possible: they have the plastic mugs with screw lids I like, and of course all the flowers and blingy jewels.......packs of colored papers at Michaels Craft supplies, special scissors to cut the edges of the cards and Scripture bubbles, and TONS of washi floral tapes, of all shapes and sizes.) You can make someone a card about anything they deal with.......and love will grow! There is so much to do in life besides being upset over somebody with a big "L" on their forehead! Oh, and having 3 cats helps too!......

[@cherylberk4593]

We commentors and subscribers must be getting much better, healthier thanks to your insights, shared experiences, and knowledge. I can only speak for myself but notice a lighter spirit, observing the absurdity of narc behavior, regaining a confident sense of self. You have helped us spot red flags, hear alarms go off when we here narc BS phrases, empowered to "just say NO" and so much more. Great video as always. ❤️

[@maritzacaruth9283]

This is such awesome advice Danish, tysm! I'm hopeful that I will be moving soon but if it doesn't happen, I have these awesome tools to implement. Tysm your effort and compassion. 🎉

[@xefirah8753]

New understanding of Sharing is Caring!!!

[@ivicakolomejac9994]

Watching funny instagram videos you will laugh and relieve yourself from stress and your narc will be more furious watching you being happy. Sides of victim and abuser will be changed for good. Pls do not feel guilty for showing it power of goodness .❤️

[@Isabela2024-yr]

That's what I did, Danish. I suggest anybody dealing with a narcissist you shouldn't get intimidated. I went head to head with him. I used to respect him, but I noticed, I don't get it in return. It's too bad now. I will shut his mouth up forever. I mentioned all the inappropriate things that he did. Of course, he's defensive, but I showed him all the incidents handwritten with dates on it. I documented everything. I told him that documents would be going against him if he made a wrong move. Give a copy to your closest friends or relatives who care for you. He's shocked. I noticed the coward narc got intimidated. He thinks he's always dictator in the house. Huh! He's now lonely and sad. Too bad!

[@karengodan5205]

Yay!

[@sharoncurulla9803]

I love this STONE approach. No cowering, straighten my shoulders, declare how I am dealing with household matters, fake him out! Yes! Pretend to be struggling- I love it! Becoming a part of an online group wouldn’t work for me - he’s a helicopter narcissist- always eavesdropping and telling me what I SHOULD have said or SHOULDN’T say to people … I connect with people through Bible Studies and Prayer Groups and little lunches with a friend. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

[@deepalibelsare2859]

You are helping so many people like me i don't know how to thank you . May God give you lot of happiness.

[@ChildofGod98765]

This helped me to deal with my sister. Faith is our only shield against the enemy. God hear my prayers as a single mother I’m lonely, Lord. Lord please give me your guidance and strength as I struggle to support my children and as I struggle to pay rent each month. I’m ashamed and tired Lord hear guide me and protect me hear my prayers! ❤

[@forumicebreaker]

What @@jbrown2908 said.

[@faithfulone06]

My dear sister God works in miraculous ways. We women are build to be strong and resilient. Be proud for raising your kids on your own. Keep on praying and God will bless you abundantly. Sending you lots of love from one sister to another.🤲💐❤😊

[@sanghamitradeb09]

Amen 🙏. God is with you. You are doing a great job. Love and regards 💕.

[@bean606]

Stand Strong - Know this about yourself: Your contribution is significant and sufficient. You have value and your approach is valid.

[@johnwtomkinson]

When splitting with a narcissist with kids, this is gold. Grey rock and no contact are not practical, this helps. Thank you!

[@lizh1988]

Or friends or siblings, possibly. I think I have done so much of not reacting, then inadvertently once in a while bursting out with a reaction and got embarrassed. I did often think maybe doing nothing 100% of the time is suspiciously easy. I ended up with one just making one statement, on two different occasions. But that minimal calm effort made me feel much better about just shutting off from the individual, and I felt much better since I did the logical best that anyone could do.

[@prophet1782]

9:30 Fully Agree Danish. We are Social Animals. We can't flourish Alone.We need Social contact and company. True. No one can flourish alone. Isolation is counter productive. It will harm your psyche.

[@prophet1782]

7:40 When you go no contact or stone wall them they will still come after you or try to figure you out. They will not stop for sometime. . Esp.if you live under same roof or are working together. Remember that. They'll try to break your pattern of no contact. Be a stone. Dont let em break you.

[@getzinger]

I've benefited from many great videos by some great therapists, but Mr. Bashir's work is a cut above! Thank you for yet another great, informative and inspiring video!

[@nicholecornes1915]

I cant believe i stayed sober ! I serve the lord and thats why

[@martinaries3293]

One of the finest and subtle analyses and teachings I have read so far. Really awesome, thank you for this👏

[@hollyfabiani]

Agreed. I have a way that works. A full niqab/nun outfit with dark sunglasses- called incognito. Otherwise, my facial expressions say it all. Id also need good and loud headphones I can turn up or to tune them out( this could go for even an hour) and focus in meditation and breathing techniques. They have nothing to study that way. No face. Posture. Nothing.

[@hollyfabiani]

A 3rd party and cameras helps keep their commentary at bay as well. Constant visitors. No alone time.

[@christelleny]

I've been doing a lot of work to correct my posture/stand tall, not engage, and look like things don't affect me. It does make a difference. The more confidence you project, the better, more in control you feel. Finding yourself back and rebuilding your support network is also essential. Thank you, Danish. Excellent, actionable advice! ❤

[@KellenAdair]

​@@caroleminke6116LoL 😂

[@MeCynthiaAnn]

You are so precious Darnish! Thank you for everything these videos are just a blessing. GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS. from JANESVILLE, WISCONSIN USA

[@nondisclosed5439]

I just agree with them or write "yawn" if its electronic. They implode!

[@alabaster624]

Truly appreciate this. Great timing. Dealing with a narcissistic father of my children. Standing my ground. ❤❤

[@kristinujhazy8656]

I tried it out immediately, and it got him totally startled.😂😂😂😅

[@GregMunro]

Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it

[@peterwilliams6361]

there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

[@GregMunro]

its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.

[@peterwilliams6361]

this is helpful, I will look her up. I hope this works for me too, I really miss her.

[@GregMunro]

If you look up Shelly Renee White online, you will find all the information you need. Thank you.

[@sandradorsey5001]

Great 📷 video on this subject. 👍 Thank's

[@4EvaStrawberry]

It’s a new and improved bulletin proof strategy for me🎉❤ thank you for giving us these tools to fight back

[@cyberchen4]

Thank You! Finally left the Narc today! A weight has been lifted! I feel 10 lbs lighter!! lol! Working out n Doing Me! Thank You!🙏🏼

[@lakshmibabu8420]

Sir. This video is applicable for mother in law.... please put more videos about mother in law

[@IzabelaWaniek-i1x]

Your strategy is spot on! Thank you for your work Danish. You are saving people’s lives. God bless you❤

[@cherylg.3465]

So interesting! So needed this dealing with a narc sister who is also my landlord.

[@lindafolks]

God bless you Mr. Danish Bashir! 🙏🏻❤️🕊

[@RowanRiverstone]

You can definitely use what they value most against them. I did this with a Narc boss all the time. Whatever games he'd try to pull on me I could always spin as bad for the business to back him off, and he was too stupid to realize he was being controlled that way.

[@naowright9308]

The covert narcissist I knew hated it when people were taller than her. She is 5'5" at her tallest, but I think with her age, she has started shrinking. I am 5'9". She wears three-five inch platform heels that make her appear as tall as me. The thing is my husband bought me shoes on my birthday and the heels are, instead of my usual one inch, two and a half inches. So it doesn't matter what size she wears. I am still taller. So when others around her are Standing Tall really bothers her. What is funny is that most of the brothers she helped raise slouch terribly. My mom, even though I am an inch taller than her and my brothers are quite a bit taller, would insist that we sit and stand straight and tall.

[@cleocatra9324]

Such weird petty things they focus on! The one that I knew was obsessed with peoples weight she was a skinny b**** and proud, when I worked with her and lost weight due to illness/ stress she actually got worried that I might weigh less then her. She didn’t even care that I was sick or not doing well she just wanted to know how much I weighed.

[@daljitvirdi1024]

Great video Danish. You've given me some food for thought. I grey rock at times but I only communicate when it's regarding the mundane stuff! He still very much controlling and gets angry so nothing has changed there! I have learnt to control my emotions and not let him get to me that easily! Still causes conflicts but nothing I can't handle! 😊💖🙏.

[@prophet1782]

Excellent Danish. Thank You so much.

[@jessieturner7139]

The more i watch you the better i like your videos. You have great insight and advice. Really enjoy these!

[@xefirah8753]

Covid highlighted his problems . I started by returning to my healthy eating habits separate from him. Later we contracted Covid and I had an excuse to sleep in a different bedroom.

[@user-dz7pi5wi6t]

Great strategy, Danish. Now I have to practice and perfect these steps, which won't be easy but it's absolutely necessary. I know I'm going to struggle with 'Stand Tall' and 'Offer Nothing'. I have weak boundaries and low self-esteem. I people-please without realizing it or before I can stop myself. After being the victim of multiple smear campaigns, I'm not very optimistic about 'Navigate Elsewhere'. Based on my experiences, narcissists are everywhere...they can go undetected until you face a smear campaign, then they don't bother hiding behind their mask and reveal themselves. But at least your channel provides not only education and insight, but also a place of solidarity and community for victims. Thank you.

[@noorhina9899]

Jazak ALLAH Sir your videos are blessing for me at this time of my life😇I am healing now ALHAMDULILLAH💝 and all bczZ of you😇

[@vandanathakur7452]

Thank you from the bottom of my heart..🙏❤️ for giving such a useful, powerful strategy.

[@ushabai3274]

Yes.your messages over these months has helped me a lot emotionaly and today I can stand up confidently

[@forumicebreaker]

I unintentionally went gray rock when I started sleeping in the basement on June 1 after getting bitched at for having the window open and the air conditioner was on as I was going to sleep one night. I eventually took everything of mine into the basement. Every little thing that I could get bitched at for, I brought it down stairs. The last thing upstairs, my bathroom towel: that was the last little dig remark, something about not washing my towel..., "just so I know..." She filed for divorce on the last day of summer. In the mediation session she said something about "not knowing how I would react." Eventually court-ordered out, and got into a new place second week of December. She changed the locks on the marital house asap without notice, pretty much alienated me from the kids at that point. More than likely has "a friend" hanging around already. She twisted enough information to get some restraining orders, shorter story, we got those dropped and new stipulations added to the divorce agreement. Now it's no contact unless it's about the kids and a limit of five messages through some app. I kind of like that part. The older kid gets to stay in the marital house, so totally alienated from me, so that sucks.... but she wants the child support more than anything. The younger is still half here and there. She doesn't get out of the vehicle per stipulation in agreement when the younger gets dropped off here. Nice.

[@PrettyIndependent1]

Talk to your kids fairly about her so they see you are not the enemy. You’ll look level headed if she’s saying all bad things about you but you say nice things about her good qualities. Relate her behavior to bullying if needed and remind them that you two just can’t fit together but you plan to be there for them. Nothing worst than a Narc trying to pit your children against you.

[@forumicebreaker]

@@PrettyIndependent1 Thank you.

[@PrettyIndependent1]

@@forumicebreaker Best of blessings to you. You MATTER so much. A father doing their best for their kids is extremely important. You’re impact leaves a lasting legacy and don’t let the Narc let you ever forget the power you hold. Be courageous and kind. 💙

[@AnitaSharma-hc3ib]

Thank you so much for precious guidance ❤

[@jackijax505]

Brilliant!

[@adaazodo8891]

You are the best counsellor i have seen.Highly intelligent

[@ushabai3274]

Yes. Exactly this what I did while bringing up my children. Duzl parenting

[@josephbanys8396]

your videos help me so much I love the straategys you offer

[@b8akaratn]

Possible future coparenting intersections coming up, the STONE strategy is something i will be keeping in mind. TY. All your videos are really helpful and soothing, because they are very validating.

[@Sunshine9820]

I am going to be forever thankful to u sir... thanks a ton.

[@arlenepoff1014]

This is excellent! Thank you so much! ❤️

[@jacklimcortez7660]

Wow that's powerful and very helpful for healing and dealing with this toxic person Thanks Danish 💙❤️🙏🙏❤️💙🍀 Love Hugs and prayers to you and all who are healing 😊❤️💙🍀

[@ingridkrut1368]

Great ! Thank you very much 🙏🙏🙏

[@prophet1782]

7:00 My Narc mom would stare continually while I was watching TV in lounge. I bugged her. She'd poison other's ears against me. All Narcs are Ear Poisoners.

[@lizh1988]

They don't like it when we are relaxed, because they never rest if they can help it.

[@nicholecornes1915]

Omg i adore you!

[@josephbanys8396]

Your a really great teacher

[@snehasaphr]

Awesome video. Thanks He has done so many tortured things to me that finally I feel detached. Few I hv started from few last month 😊

[@susanflaherty1248]

Thank you so much for your work.

[@amberfuchs398]

Love this!

[@isabelolsson1890]

Thanks so much for the video ❤

[@1missy40]

Stoic 💪🏽👏🏽☝🏽

[@IRFRAJ]

This is what i needed. Thank you Mr. Bashir

[@talatbushra7117]

You are doing a wonderful job! Keep up this great work! Your videos helped me a lot

[@Muhammad-u]

Narcissist never help to explain yourself in front of then

[@appaloosa42]

I’ve been Jade without having a name for it, while moving into STONE too. Part of the problem was/ is generational, him being an identical twin but the older… the other was truly groomed into 2nd gen ( mebbe 3rd?) and ‘big brother’ thought he had to fill every ( literal) dying demand…and I got caught up will I nilI I.

[@kstarlifeline2368]

instead of showing stone to narcissist, i became stone to society by hiding myself that i was being wounded

[@raidenewalden4354]

That’s really good . Trade guy like that I’m sure will help .

[@nicholecornes1915]

BE PROUD OF YOURSELF!!! The devil doesn't like you! Because Jesus loves you!!!❤

[@Sept.ember.Society]

Thank you

[@samratsingh1889]

Thank you so much sir ....for your awareness about narcssism

[@AugustusTiberius-tq1gw]

I awaken one morning and I thought I was living the dream of a Narc movie that Alfred Hitchcock has directed. Felt better after a cold shower and a cup of coffee ☕️

[@richellepeace4457]

Doesn't do any good when the cops, attorneys and judges are corrupt. You know the kind that their family's hang out together with these monsters behind the scenes..

[@Island1Life.]

@jbrown2908 Exactly!! @richellepeace4457 Let God fight your battles - your victory is always assured. How? Say "God, I turn this situation over to you and I know all will be well." Don't negate your prayers with negative or contrary declarations. A declaration is simply the the words you speak/say.

[@forumicebreaker]

I learned that the police can only go off of what is in an agreement, in my case the temporary agreement. Which was already out of date and out of context by the time it all got filed anyway. I also learned 3 out of 4 police are cool AF, but 1 would rather arrest me for disorderly domestic or something when I wanted to get some of my kids stuff to bring over to my "seek residence elsewhere" home. My soon to be ex had stuff for that one to bring out to the car and when that one went back in, my soon to be ex changed her mind, so nothing was coming out to the car.

[@lizh1988]

Yeah, that's in impossible land, their important friends. That's God's field of expertise. Sooner or later the truth comes out.

[@LiminalDrag]

They can manipulate and exploit the legal system, which is of the flesh. They can pretend to be holy and righteous here, but they forget that God searches ALL hearts. They forget that through their self-worship, they are worshipping a false God. In the words of Alan Watts, "are you ready to meet your maker?".

[@PrettyIndependent1]

I’ve realized Satan is not divided against his kingdom. They have to stand together when they are of the same spirit it doesn’t matter what profession or walk of life they are, they defend each other’s behavior and enable it. It’s an unspoken gang. But they can’t compete with a person who’s truly walking with God. They can have a whole haram, but all you need is the Most High against legions and they will be eventually put to shame. Pray. Fast. Be in communion. Make anointing oil. Do self deliverance. Etc…

[@ZonyWest]

Fortunately the narc have given me peace... no more strange unfamiliar text messages and phone calls etc. I think I deadened it with my last reverse boomerang! 😅 😂😂😂

[@shaziadilshad]

Good strategy ❤

[@SteffiDon-b5w]

I have been partially standing tall, i still do what I want, except for that their continous smear and slander does effect me emotionally even after 4 years. I'm sure if it's done to others it will affect them too. So I don't beat myself over it. It's only natural I already offer nothing anymore. I have made a rule to receive some first then give if I must. I am out of reserves , they have withdrawn all resources. Dont have anything left to offer. I tried navigating, but since my narc is intelligence and alpha males of the society, anyone I touch socially, they make them their puppet and everyone starts saying and controlling me the same ways. I have been longing for the survivors online group, but I foresee 2 problems. Intelligence and alpha males from society will still interfere in everything said in that group and controll me accordingly. Plus I dont have the budget for a paid survivors group unfortunately.

[@lauraantic1384]

This is very hard Danish when you dont speak with them at all and the most important you must speak is about children and that is not possible ,somethimes i wish i am a bird so i can fly away and never think about how to speak with evil ,thank you so much i wanted to know how to speak

[@lizedion1393]

Very good.

[@clarer256]

Do you work direct with survivors online? I’m in the UK. Your videos are amazing.

[@alienfrommarss]

The link on your channel main info section has the link to all your packages ❤❤❤

[@khaleelvm]

Thanks!

[@janiced.hatcher1272]

Monkey Monday Tazer Tuesday Wounding Wednesday Thrombosis Thursday Fracture Friday Stat Saturday I found him that way Sunday Haven't we all felt that way at some point.

[@junejelm423]

Education

[@ishratjahan6206]

Danish ,please help me, I'm narcissist survivor, things getting worse,how can u consult you ,I'm from indiA my husband n his whole family is malignant t narcissist

[@MarionN-w3d]

It doesn't matter what you do, they will find another way to get to you. I eventually found a way to leave, thanks the only way.

[@corinnevanjaarsveldt6087]

❤thank you.

[@dylanlaurence3931]

BRICK FROG! 🐸 🧱

[@nicholecornes1915]

There going to hell omg

[@tejug1161]

I dont think I am special. However, I 100% believe that I deserve a basic human decency and dignity.😐

[@lexbest]

❤

[@janiced.hatcher1272]

How about knuckle night

[@johanmarais4059]

I think this is a demon at work I know a family member is using this against me.

[@TheWayofFairness]

I love 🪨 Rock Greystone