Narcissism & Arrested Development

Arrested Development is when one's emotional development is frozen from childhood trauma. Children who experienced severe rejection, incest, molestation, and emotional or physical abuse will become arrested in their emotional development. As adults, they are never able to see that they are a part of a bigger picture. Many times, those who suffer from arrested development will have no concept of the team effort. They see the world and everyone in it as being either “out to get them" or the world “revolves around them. They may be very combative, critical, judgmental and abusive as adults. They typically see themselves as resident experts in all matters and are unteachable. Many Narcissists experience arrested development. This is, in part, why they behave like selfish children. It’s all about them.
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[@kr1221E]

"Open the door to darkness" sounds sinister. Thankfully there are some people who have had traumatic abuse/rejection/neglect etc yet still managed to grow up mentally stable and successsful.

[@vincentdolente7053]

You are punished for trying. I trying growing up mentaly stable and successful. I did everything I possibly could. She manipulated to the point everyone in my family thinks im the evil angry nobody who just abuses his mom. Shes sexually and emotionally abused me ever since I was a kid, forcing me to take up to 10 pills a day as a kid. To this day being forced to live with her after countless restraining order after restraining order as she tells me "She will lift the restraining order" and my lawyers tell me to physically shut up in court. Everyone in jail that I was forced to survive in accused me of being autistic and retarded as I had no idea wtf was going on and was on the road to one flying over the coo coos nest. Now im just a cold, bitter asshole.

[@katiemangiagli3878]

My mom died in July 2016. She refused to see a psychiatrist. I’ve been in social work/mental health for 13 years and I’m a bit mad at her. I love her dearly because she was a good mom, but she did things when I was young, her behavior greatly affected me. My mom would always call me “ careless”, and when I went into a depressive state in 2014, she picked me up from the hospital and pretended like I didn’t chug a bottle of Tylenol p.m. My brother and my mother picked me up from the hospital and never asked how I felt. My first memory of my mother was watching my mom with a knife to her wrist and my dad trying to get me out of the room. My mother also routinely told me at a young age that she was divorcing dad. It never happened. I have worked as a QMHP and just from witnessing my mother’s behavior I have to think she was struggling with severe trauma and borderline personality disorder.

[@Dannniellleee]

*emotionally abusive mother I’m sorry. I hope you’re on your path to healing from how she hurt you ❤️🧡

[@carolloraine223]

There are so many underdesirables about these sick people and going No Contact is the only way to feel Healthy and Happy! I'm single and loving it!!

[@KnockManJo]

Sure

[@sharon9270]

My ex told me that he was in the classroom one day, he said he slammed another student's head on the desk I was shocked and asked him why he did that "Because I wanted to" he replied I am well rid of that sick moron

[@shannondavis7941]

Moron. U deserve better. How embarrassed you must be. 😕

[@kr1221E]

Some garden variety school bullies grow up, they may pick on kids who fight back and then leave them alone. Your ex sounds like one of those sinister kids who bully and keep returning like a bad penny.

[@anzaladan2414]

This is so incredible.. Thank you for the work you are doing..this has opened my eyes to understanding something that has been soo evasive..

[@marshamarshamarsha4567]

Being the scapegoat all of my life, I suffer from this. I can take constructive criticism, but when someone's non-verbal behavior comes across to me as disrespectful and condescending and in front of my peers, I cannot handle that emotionally. I see others how they handle it, and they seem to be able to stop these people in their tracks, I cannot stay calm I shake and want to cry or run away. I am talking about my world in the workplace. I am very fortunate today in my work life now, bullying is not allowed. I praise God for that. But it has set me back time and time again. I am 57 years old, and I have been in my current work situation for eight years. Because I could not handle these situations at previous employment, I would almost be successful, but this situation would repeatedly happen where I would end up resigning or do something stupid with some kind of inappropriate outburst. My life is a nightmare. I am not blaming others for this, many times our reactions it what causes our own problems, but I really did not understand my family dynamic until the last maybe ten years or so. I am 57 and I guess I feel my life has been wasted.

[@kr1221E]

That is heartbreaking. I know that feeling of "mind-freeze" "opening mouth to respond to being patronised at work and nothing coming out" it's awful. You are mature in that you can take constructive criticism, many can't. You have not wasted your life, you still have a pulse/breath. Your extreme emotional reactions to disrespect and condescension shows you are a highly sensitive person, this is an asset, not a liability, it means that you have the capability to spot shady or negative people, this ability is the other-side-of-the-coin of sensitivity. What are your talents? what do you get joy from? Following these things puts you on the right track. Sadly unless people have read literary fiction/folk/fairytales/mythoogy, which is littered with these dark characters, (which I haven't) many people are not aware of these dynamics until later in life. I hope you are happy and that you read it and get something out of it.

[@mostpeoplearebots]

my 70 yr old narc mother has always talked like a 5 yr old girl, until she switches characters in her times of rage etc. my narc 74 yr old dad emotionally acts like a child, completely as well. what's been extra aggravating is for every year i've aged from 5 yrs old up to now 44, they've attempted to talk to me as if i'm 3 yrs old. seems this is a necessity to them because if they are around 5 yrs old in their heads, then how can their child be any older than them?? so their child must stay 3 yrs old, and be treated as if they're 3 yrs old, or their entire mentality/psychology will fall apart. it's driven me crazy my entire life, and gotten worse for each year i've grown, matured, and learned things. -only to have them disregard everything i've ever said and done, like it's just a bunch of baby babble, whenever any logic, facts, statements or wisdom comes from me. then there's my 41 yr old golden child narc brother who i swear is still in high school permanently. along with his ugly narc jezebel stuck up wife. wow these people suck. i honestly can't wait to die and be out of this miserable satanic dimension. ...and not sadly either- but eagerly and happily.

[@oddsandendsofstuff]

Sounds like u need help...maybe they are screwed up but sometimes acepting understanding and forgiving go a long way ..you could accept that's how they are and work around it instead of trying to fit into it we make life what we want so try to be your own person ...suicide is a cop out..sorry but it is. .

[@a.stogner3773]

I can relate.

[@caroldiaz3354]

Thank you

[@justrenee2640]

Things that have worked for a 24 yr. old: Altruism Nature walks Faking it till you make it Doing things that make you happy

[@vanessamcbridebreathebelie5468]

Thank you for this explanation

[@catdavidson8643]

Great information. Do you have a helpful article for me? I am an Empath and I feel the horrific emotional neglect inside him. He is my husband. The problem is that he enjoys being first and selfish. I am a healer and right now I am healing myself. He is acting out more crossing boundaries doing whatever he wants.

[@carolloraine223]

Cat Wallesen Unfortunately, it will be nearly impossible to heal when you're still around the abuse on a daily basis. Your whole objective is to be Healthy and Happy. I've been NO Contact for 5 mos and feel such wonderful stress relief and a freedom of the abuse is awesome!! Follow your but!! It will help you decide what to do. All the Best from a Narc free Kansas lady!😉

[@carolloraine223]

Cat, follow your "gut".sorry for the typo!

[@lovewhitey2027]

If you are a Christian Deliverance prayers have Saved my life Pastor Monty Mulkey has great deliverance prayers online . Also Fasting & Deliverance prayers have gotten to deep rooted issues 🙏🏻📖🗣🙌🏻✍🏻

[@lionofjudahlambofgod9132]

@@lovewhitey2027 Yes hes great. Check out omegaman radio.

[@carolloraine223]

Thank you for more validation of my doing the right thing!!!

[@GippslandCNC]

I think this is confirming the responses that we have as human beings to fear, flight,fight,freeze and fawn. freeze being not just a physical freeze but also that mental, emotional freeze an internal response,

[@kr1221E]

The freeze response is scary as it is paralysing, whereas although fighting a narc is worthless, it shows spirit, fleeing from them is sensible, fawning over them is Stockholm syndrome, a very expensive luxury we cannot afford.

[@kimvannote5024]

Good Video - Thank you.

[@alady1545]

Thank you so much for this

[@elsewherehouse]

Where can I find out more about arrested development?

[@audreadrury7902]

I liked your article I am having a problem of people stealing my articles and I think that I. Know who it is so I told the company I would not write for them until they correct this problem. I am being treated like a criminal now I am reversing it. I am not going to be impersonated pledgerized and treated like this. Now the role is reversed. Thank you very much for your help and article.

[@audreadrury7902]

Summers Ministries It was on arrested development. Great article but for whoever is doing this to me the tide has turned. Thank you.

[@audreadrury7902]

I think the company is messing up my articles also and don't have enough security. They will now if I don't write for them.

[@boomagoo321]

This disorder perfectly describes "Curtis Jackson" aka " 50 cent "

[@mw87675]

4:53

[@angelinebaekhave2326]

Watch hardcore Christianity. ....

[@conniehoward1323]

I agree with this but seriously this description of narcissistic personality disorder is all over the place. The content is good but the delivery is messy. Just saying.

[@wendynesbit8992]

No..... narcissists are born that way

[@thenot-sogrimreaperpresent9407]

I honestly think it's part nature and nurture. If there is a predisposition for it and the environment is ripe for it, I believe it fully develops.

[@Tightness8]

@Rinske Raphaeli think you have to be genetically predisposed and have it triggered personally in early childhood.

[@kr1221E]

I don't believe any dark personality is born that way, I believe un-resolved trauma is the root of the problem, the worse the trauma, the darker end of the dark-personality spectrum they are at.