Narcissist Manipulation - Why You Fall For It!

[@fabianafran927]

I think the solution is always having a strong self-love, self-acceptance and strong boundaries so that you are not craving acceptance and validation. Amazing video!

[@lookupyourredemptiondrawsn7285]

Yes. Love yourself

[@Bart-Did-it]

😞 that fucking hurt

[@Freethnkr]

1 Strong self-love 2 Self-acceptance 3 Strong boundaries... Maybe its easy for you, but those of us who are raised by a narc parent weren't allowed those privileges! These attributes were never taught or acceptable. A narc must feel as though they have complete control over their kids at all times, even with how they feel about themselves and the fewer boundaries, the better to obtain and keep that control.

[@fabianafran927]

@@Freethnkr I didn´t say this is easy for me since I was also raised by a narc parent and I know this is difficult to achieve. But at the same time I think it is possible to develop ourselves (even spiritually) to the point where we start the process of self-love, self-acceptance and strong boundaries, one day at a time, baby steps. Otherwise what it would be of us if we weren´t able to overcome this situation? A life of sadness, depression? I believe in human resilience.

[@Portia620]

Strong self love and always you can walk away!

[@deborah4737]

Thank you. Now I know the difference between love bombing and sex bombing. I knew something was strange and off, but I was so caught up in the pleasure that I didn't connect the dots. I understand now.

[@naveedrehman2987]

You fall for it because you have a golden heart. You don’t want to see “people” suffer. Then when meet someone with a Wolfe in sheep’s clothing who does you wrong you begin to realize some people are evil. Then your perspective changes on drawing boundaries and saying “No.”

[@ritapeters1330]

@@naveedrehman2987 yes me the same, a covert in sheep' clothing, ghosting me 😪

[@pavschodyko6531]

Fixing codependency is the hardest thing atm, but I’m so tired of effects of love bombing.

[@rhondam4369]

💯💯💯

[@randomaccessmemories8912]

I married a man who hid his true self and then the second we were married he became extremely abusive. His family became horrible as well and were a big part of the abuse and manipulation completely unaware. I never hear anyone talk about when a narcissist has a family to back them up and help them gaslight/abuse their victim. Anyone else experience this?

[@PrettyGirlPractice]

Yes! Check out flying monkeys/enablers - Lots of videos on this topic by Dr Ramani

[@godzillamanstreb524]

I hope you’re out….ive seen these situations on KZbin & they can be dangerous

[@randomaccessmemories8912]

@@godzillamanstreb524 I am currently separated from him thankfully. It is very dangerous. I advise anyone in a similar situation to recognize their value and get away from the narcissist no matter how much you may still love them or what your situation with them may be. They do not change, and you do not have to endure it. Sending love to anyone in a similar situation, it is so hard but it’s possible, especially when you reach out for support any way you can.

[@forumicebreaker]

On this, "I never hear anyone talk about when a narcissist has a family to back them up and help them..." Possibly. For example, the joint account that I suggested we start early on for our apartment and bills was taken over "to help" by my wife. Shared expenses, we each contribute half and put the extra each month into savings. She never got a job after she graduated from college until a year and half later as a housekeeper and as soon as we got married her Dad cut off her half of the rent. Her half became my half. But she's just sitting around at home and helping to write checks out for bills, right? She really loves me as she's doing my laundry, right? Flash forward about 15 years and some kids, we have a house, I want a shed and I have a big shed built: with my own account paying for it. Not the "joint," but which I contribute both of our halves to still. She's furious about me having a shed built. She goes to her parents and complains about this and they send her a $10,000 check towards a new car. Never mind that her parents have sent her money toward TWO previous cars, likely paid for her high school/ college car entirely, and I paid off those two previous cars as I thought they were more the nice family cars. Shorter summary, I've likely been painted as a complete asshole because I won't give her all my money and her family will help her out. She has been doing this to my own family as well. She got my mom to bitch at me for never doing the dishes. She got my dad, who doesn't even like her, to suggest counseling at a point. I do think she possibly tried to set me up so I would get killed when she filed for divorce.

[@jaggersalapayne9353]

Every Narc has a lot of "enablers" around them that encourage their behavior since they were young...mostly family members.

[@loveshopping67]

Theres soo many different types of narcissist. Watch out for the nice quite ones. In the beginning, it seems to go well , it's seems like a healthy relationship but it's not do your homework. They are testing you. They want to see what they can get away with

[@Portia620]

Let them get away and watch! 😂. Be smart though and get out fast!!!!! Let them play their stupid games and win stupid prizes!

[@c.harlotte]

This literally just happened to me

[@Tone-km6bq]

She told me she loved me In like 2.5 weeks and I fell for it 😭. Discarded me for another guy she told me she wasn’t attracted to 2 years later. Stay safe out here

[@Michael_Arguello]

Amazing video. Man the truth hurts. If you are down for transactional relationships, it won’t last with a narcissist. If you are ok with that. It says more about you than the narcissist. For a good time, tell a narc your love language is physical touch. ;) Yes, you can totally control narcissists. If that’s who you want to be.

[@Warp75]

Tell you the strange thing since I had to go through hell with my ex & woke up to the full reality of narcissism women don’t seem to find me so desirable anymore. Most of the women that used to like me were nuts & I’m pretty much a empath, but now I won’t tolerate any bullshit anymore I’m struggling to meet anyone. The many complexities of narc abuse people

[@Portia620]

Agreed! Many are toxic but we need to fix our toxicity too.

[@frankielyman8769]

Relationships are headaches

[@roberttruman8444]

For those of us who are older and grappling with past abuses and trust issues, modern fast-paced dating can be especially harmful. Society has embraced a culture of instant gratification, reflected in the rushed nature of dating today, which isn't realistic or safe for anyone, especially survivors. What we truly need is a slower, more deliberate approach to dating-one that starts with friendship and gradually evolves into romance. However, this approach requires mutual commitment from others who are willing to reject the current fast-dating culture.

[@1979jon]

That's some good points there, used to happen 35 years ago without Internet.

[@michelegoesglossy1879]

Really good advice about narcissists. It's painful to have to learn by experience, but it is certainly necessary to avoid the "narcissistic community". After learning the lesson, life becomes more peaceful 🙌

[@amandaball353]

Excellent video!! Couldn’t be any clearer. Thanks Stephanie- hope you have a great weekend!!

[@MCECRG]

In tears as you are speaking my current marriage to me as if you watched it. I am so afraid for my children and I, thank you for these videos.

[@roxy7255]

I’ve also come across very codependent men using these tactics to try and create an emeshed dependency as quickly as possible.

[@lookupyourredemptiondrawsn7285]

How does one know the difference between codependent and healthy new love

[@roxy7255]

Lack of boundaries or adhering to boundaries. For example you say you only want to meet twice a week but they keep pushing and arranging to meet more. Also their entire world revolves around you and pleasing you they seem to lack their own life, copy your interests etc. People pleasing tendencies.

[@VickyMartin-d3l]

Thank you Stephanie! The sex bombing is definitely new to me. Very enlightening!

[@anjawilliams6168]

It was all so under the radar that it seemed so natural. And I even feel like I’m quite intuitive. I had previously been with a man (ex husband) who was almost the opposite of how this new man treated me. And it was so amazing to be in a relationship again. He was everything I wanted… until he started pulling away and I started feeling confused, but with little concrete evidence. We were together 5 years and now I feel like an empty shell.

[@Nidhi.Kapoor]

This was so eye-opening! It’s crazy how easily narcissists can manipulate you without even realizing it at first. The way you explained their tactics and why we fall for it really hit home. Understanding the patterns of manipulation is the first step toward breaking free from it. Thank you for bringing awareness to such an important topic-this video is a game-changer for anyone dealing with toxic relationships!

[@mista589]

The Summers of 2020 and 2021 this woman saved my life.... She made me realize myself but she made me fully realize and gave me full confidence as to why I left a relationship... Thank you Stephanie 🐦‍🔥❤️

[@mygisable]

To tell you the truth, I always hit a like while starting listening to the videos. Thanks!

[@jaialaiwarrior]

I trusted my intuition and consciously ignored a couple red flags but MAN was it amazing while it lasted! No reason why normal people couldn't make use of a few of those narc "tricks!" There is such a thing as healthy narcissism, after all. I know it's wishful thinking but the dichotomy between a healthy boring relationship and a crazy unstable and even painful one can be stifling. A better mix of both would be great, since people respond to the narc's tricks for reasons that evolution won't change. The irony in this context though was that mine would fake complain about being "used" for sex or emphasize that sex was an emotional connection for me - (isn't it ultimately at some point for most people?) But then later in the relationship when I wanted physical intimacy to be happier, more emotionally colorful and to see more of their vulnerability, connection, curiosity or joy that's when you realize that their inability to access sweeter and kinder emotions or true connection is what totally fucks them over. And then you'll feel fucked over too but at least you can then continue to grow as a person whereas they remain stuck in their fixes and their stupid games.

[@ghaili1175]

Yes and it keeps going. And, make you feel like you’re the best. Complimenting

[@steenkristensen6351]

Thanks for your information, and have a good weekend Stephanie 😉👍

[@jenniferyates8100]

Thank you. I have learned a hard lesson. What you said in this video is spot on. Put it down to experience, learnt a lot about myself . Appreciate you Stephanie.🌟👍

[@ellebee9864]

This video is so packed with so much truly amazing knowledge....I'll have to listen to it multiple times just to really let it all sink in. ❤❤❤

[@Shanieceflordi]

Nice video, I'm still struggling with the end of my 7-year relationship. My significant other, who I considered to be the love of my life, left me a month ago, and I can't seem to shake the constant thoughts of him. Despite my efforts to bring him back into my life, nothing has worked, and I feel frustrated and hopeless. I've tried to move on, but my heart still longs for him, and I don't see myself with anyone else. I apologize for sharing this here, but I just can't seem to stop missing him.

[@Mia1827]

It's hard to let go of someone you love; I went through a similar experience when my 12-year relationship ended. I tried everything to get him back, and eventually I had to turn to a spiritual counselor for assistance.

[@Shanieceflordi]

Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?

[@Mia1827]

His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@Mia1827]

he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.

[@Shanieceflordi]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤

[@alcudiababe1]

Yeah, when you feel like you're someone's new best friend and you know they know nothing about you, be careful. These people will go from absolutely adoring you and thinking your wonderful to flip a dime on you. You just want to recognise those signs quicker because a flatter will tell you anything they want you to say, it will add to your ego, but you need the experience a little to understand if someone has to flatter your ego they wanted a fast way to be your mate because they honestly thought you were cool however this person only thinks your cool now when bs comes out they will be onto the next cool thing because they were never a real friend

[@bnr2064]

You’re great. I always gain lot of insights from your videos. Thanks a ton. ❤❤❤

[@Anotherguy1st]

I honestly hate that decent people have to look out for this type of stuff. Why can't people just not be pieces of trash in the first place, is it really so hard to find love honestly?

[@BriannaPresto]

Prior to meeting my sons dad, I never even knew people like this existed. This was back before narcissism was some kind of popular term and talked about. About a year and a half into the relationship I googled something he said or did and narcissism came up. It sucks there’s people out there allowed to do such damage to other people for no reason at all.

[@rebeccamilligan8659]

Wow😮 thanks this is validating and resonating thanks you for your work and sharing ❤❤❤

[@craven_angel3105]

Yeah. It's good to hear this, I guess. It's just devastating at the same time.

[@megalodon9400]

You fall because it feels good, it’s like a drug, the problem comes later when you’re discarded.

[@doglover5519]

So True!!! He ghosted me for the second time three weeks ago. I'm not giving him another chance!!!

[@jesuslovesme2833]

Thank you for the video the narcissist that I met claimed she was a Christian, but from the time I met her was always trying to reel me in with sex. I found out their never fully in the relationship or willing to put in the work for a good relationship. That’s why everything happens so fast and is rushed. and when they’re done or discard they are completely different people then in the beginning.

[@RocKaiGaming]

This video gave me so much clarity. Thanks!

[@edselgreaves6503]

PLEASE start making videos on JOBS and how to deal with work culture and office politics and work pressure! Its the one topic section that is missing from your videos! Love your channel!

[@Irreverente-o4r]

Start reading the book "SNAKES 🐍 IN SUITS", Robert Hare, Canadian psychologyst.

[@alexanderlumberjack]

Thank you for all of this!!

[@MysticButterfly22]

Stephanie this relationship advice came right on time. I just ended my 4month relationship, with my boyfriend who displayed a lot of these traits and Love Bombed me for sure.

[@HilaryYorkshire]

Well done on escaping so quickly. If you’d stayed your suffering would have been immense. ❤

[@kristelwalton3141]

One of your best videos ever. And it’s all so so so accurate 😮

[@vivianMarvin-z6k]

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really loved him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about himv

[@LunqCharlotte]

its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.

[@vivianMarvin-z6k]

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him?

[@LunqCharlotte]

His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@LunqCharlotte]

he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.

[@vivianMarvin-z6k]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤

[@rosaliaoliver-qv3gr]

Stephanie ♥️Thank you,♥️thank you!♥️wonderful video♥️

[@KP-dd2ci]

She was ready to marry me after 3 months...that was a huge red flag for me.

[@LindsayGrandberry]

Soooooo good !!!!! Thank-you!!!

[@tikax2085]

This is really helpful, thanks for sharing !

[@Orev008]

Thankyou for this information.

[@alcudiababe1]

To become healthier I guess I got a little funny with my boyfriend at the time (because I'd already been in a narcissist relationship) and now he was ringing me constantly needing to hear me all the time. I didn't like to say anything at first, but I got to the point where something sprung up in my mind that I don't need this amount of calls. I don't want to stay on the phone once we've run out of things to talk about, and we're just making silly noises to make each other giggle. So I put a stop to that because in order to get healthy I needed to have not only healthy boundaries but healthy behaviour because you are right if you do that to someone healthier they'll not run towards you, you'll repel them because it is too much

[@janecallahan2340]

Hi Stephanie, You are great! At 65, I appreciate all of your wisdom and your insightful coaching videos. I thoroughly understand unhealthy behavioral patterns of narcissistic people. I have a guy friend with strong narcissistic behavior patterns. What bothers me is the "me first" behavior, and then the unwillingness to compromise. Stephanie, I believe it is better for me to express my upset feelings back to him, because holding them in, makes me feel worse and it tends to build up inside me. We do have fun and times when he isn't so into himself, but then we go backwards. So, our relationship is very challenging. I am a codependent, with ADHD. He has to put up with me as well Thank you for all your wisdom.

[@allans7281]

Good video I went through what you’re talking about sex bombing is powerful stuff guys get addicted to it Always keep a clear head and like you say listen to your instincts

[@brittneymarie1529]

I was with my ex for 8 years, she had the emotional connection and the sex bombing on point in the beginning and you really do not see anything else past those things especially since I was young (25) when we met and didn't know any better.

[@RN-gx7wt]

They idealize the living daylights out of you. Without even knowing you. You wouldn't take candy from a stranger, but you let a stranger take you anywhere cause you needed that vacation, staycation, any trip they can solo you out with way too soon, as something excited. Good job for doing that letting yourself be groomed, without a serious step backwards (to just take a good look at what is this based on and YEA you're adults, but please stop defending this childish excitement inside yourself already...) and by letting things settle down first, PROBABLY Because it's not pathologic exciting enough!

[@Trelznc]

I genuinely do things because I’m actually into them. And then its called manipulation here. I only reciprocated the energy i was given from the beginning throughout the 3 months only to be told “you’re too clingy” out of nowhere. I wasn’t faking anything, maybe rushing because at the time “we click” but i would never do all of this with someone i don’t genuinely want. Literally begging you to stay over almost every night, sex, talking about kids reciprocally, “i cut everyone off for you” everything. Its messed up you still get labeled something negative for showing your genuine side for someone :/

[@MelaniSingh-br3bz]

U help me a lot

[@tristanknight6088]

God bless you. She did everything you said then discarded me. Hoovered. Now ghosting. Wonderful insight.

[@diannaantes5262]

❤Appreciated

[@dannymercer3553]

2) I’ve been studying and watching videos, still in shock. This all sounds like a sci-fi movies to me! And if this is a learned behavior, why does every situation I read about happen the same exact way? Is there a Narc school they go somewhere to learn this stuff?

[@BriannaPresto]

It’s as if they all follow the same playbook. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking this exact thing. It’s insane. There is many variations and on different scales but when it comes down to it, they all do, say and behave similarly.

[@dannymercer3553]

@@BriannaPresto the ones who know and self aware, I think they network with eachother.

[@libertycan6959]

😂I love it. What a journey. Get desperate enough after narc abuse you might be a sex bomber and love bomber indeed. What a cluster fudge.

[@Portia620]

I text people a lot and I tell you one thing it doesn’t make me dependent. I was married to a covert narcissist for 29 years. I don’t care if I’m in love with somebody once I find out they’re a narcissist I’m running.!!!

[@konsyansnou8623]

I often reflect on past relationships that marked me on my healing journey and a term that comes often when looking at narcissists is gaslighting and lovebombing. I didn't even know sex bombing was a thing. Reflecting on that particular relationship, the sexual energy was high, it didn't matter if we were together, talking on the phone, texting and I always intense and I always thought that's who we were as a couple but whenever we had small problem, we couldn't go through them for some weird reasons. I ended up realizing after sometime I was always coming as a rebound immediately after a breakup she had with a serious relationship while making me believe she was thinking about me all that time hoping our path would met. I come to realise with lot of sadness that particular relationship was never meant to work and I've been beating myself up many times sorta speak to find out what went wrong or what could I have done differently. I guess I was sex-bombed from the beginning and not realizing it.

[@dannymercer3553]

I was just discarded after a year relationship. During all that time, noticed weird things, but put it out of my mind cause I felt so wonderful. I thought I found my soulmmate and was part of a family for once. Then she cheated on me(at least the first time I noticed. She discarded me soon aafter. Now she’s smearing me in the little town she lives in. She acts like I’m a threat and she can’t trust me. I’m not taking this well and even though I know she’s used me I still think I love her, and I know my mind Is messed up.

[@bryceoleski5680]

When you have been dating for 5 months and they tell you, "I know enough, when you're ready I will give you a baby." Should have been a huge red flag, but I was so love and sex bombed I just though I met someone who really knew what they wanted. Thank god I held realistic timelines in terms of when I would advance to serious commitments. At the 11 mark she had discarded me to sleep with my friend, 5 days after sending me a link to the engagement ring she wanted. Overnight I went from being the best person in her life, to a flaw filled person who she had no empathy for when she flaunted her new relationships.

[@jenni303]

I was discarded but we ended up still doing the sexting for 2 months lone and behold he was love bombing a new supply before discard of course,meeting her at the airport with a sign and planning a trip to Florida found pictures on line and she was like true love is a wonderful feeling it made me sick....They moved in and in love with in that time 2 crazy...

[@janicetelfer6211]

Ty😊

[@Portia620]

What if we did get neglected in a 29 year marriage but see right thru the bs and will leave??? What if we learned a lesson so profound we would NEVER tolerate bs again? The problem is…do we see it this time??? What if we see it all the time and everyone else doesn’t? What if we are so on guard we ruin a good relationship becsue of hyper vigilance! It’s not easy to date after 29 years of covert abuse!!

[@troymcdaniels-tm1dr]

I went throug this with a bpd.....the sex was amazing but something still felt rushed....

[@hocfamilytv]

Hi Stephanie, you had mentioned clean products for skin and hair and I’m wondering if you don’t mind sharing. My hands are so dry, hair, face, and maybe it’s even more because our water softener is not working anymore, but I keep thinking I need to clean up our products. Thank you.

[@leaongat7549]

Can you also explain carpet bombing while you are at it?

[@OziBlokeTimG]

I need to go steady for about 300 years before committing to anything. 😮

[@tylerallyn3270]

Pt2?

[@locustsun]

I had a very bad relationship that formed because I think I wasn't necessarily healthy and maybe am a bit of a love bomber. It had the passionate sex, the risque nature, the over-and-above love in a very very unnatural situation from the word go. It failed catastrophically, in almost the worst way possible for me. Being away from it, it has affected other relationships I have had, but I have moved on and I learned a lot not only about others but about myself and how I can also be the problem. I am a big proponent of there being no innocent people and that everyone, especially yourself, can be the antagonist/problem in any situation even if it feels like you aren't. Plenty of people aren't introspective and look at what they do to the world, but rather what the world does to them. The individualistic world we have now really breeds narcissism because no one thinks of others and it's an "old soul" that does, but can often end up enabling narcissism or just being a beating post and hurting themselves by trying to be good to the other person.

[@carlhouseofoliver345]

Yeah I fell for it hard unfortunately. I completely ficked up and sabotaged my marriage for my new partner who did both of these!! It was so Amazing, I couldn't believe how Amazing it was and then slowly it changed into her becoming A sexual, silent treatment etc etc I now know what my toxic traits were so I've been able to work hard to heal them so I don't abandon myself ever again

[@motowngirl5891]

What is TOO SOON, how long

[@doko1985]

💯

[@Drogonmoon]

If I could find a cure - what would it be worth ?

[@BriannaPresto]

Even if possible, good luck convincing someone with NPD that something is wrong with them in order to take “the cure.” These people are extremely okay with how they live and what they do to people.

[@Finestproducts_23]

This is a tough one because I feel bothered for the fact that this isn’t something that you get educated on through schooling. You have to like kind of research this on your own, and my last relationship just went through something like this between both of us and I just started researching this this morning and listening to it all and finding out thatI’ve done a lot of of these things even though I have a good personality so it’s like manipulative and problematic to where I just you know try to apologize to my ex because I don’t wanna be a narcissist

[@MrPhillipAllen]

Your words, the sound of your voice, your smile, your eyes, and your strength(in hands) saved my life after hearing your advice. Thank You. I would like to give you something back. A song that is all about who you are: Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful". Chicago Town

[@icanbestronger]

He did sex bombing on me and my intuition said let himmmmmmm go from the start wow we stretched its out for 8 months im free but wish i had someone to love and love me

[@steveandangelafernandes9068]

❤

[@Doodlefisher]

What if they suffer from nymphomania?

[@ChaiTogether]

🔥

[@1979jon]

It's all down to brain chemistry, if you can get past that you will think more clearly.

[@licmir3663]

My ex during the first few months sex bombed, and I enjoyed it, of course. But it wasn’t something that would make me fall in love with someone. Now looking back I see that she realized that and went hard on showing affection, caring and companionship, which is what I actually appreciate in a girlfriend. But then she noticed how much family oriented I am, and then she did her best to charm my family with attention and little gifts. Looks amazing, right? Once the devaluation stage kicked in, she couldn’t stand my relatives who once she claimed to love. Her behavior was more like she had become fed up with me and them, even though we hadn’t changed. Now I know she just got bored. We weren’t “new” anymore. We were like old toys.

[@motowngirl5891]

Is BEING in a horrible marriage make you a TARGET? I’m a older woman who met a man last year, he is still LOVE BOMBING Can someone PLEASE REPLY Husband can been disabled since 1994 Spinal cord injury

[@englishcanadian9739]

Seems like a lot of analyzing no wondering everyone is single today and going from partner to partner then be all alone at 70

[@Portia620]

I Disagree. I see red flags still. Once you learn a hard lesson your hyper vigilant!!!

[@ghaili1175]

Crap!!!!

[@freddymandry1128]

Nooo the sex is first the love

[@JOHN-tk8eb]

90% of narcissism is found in women....

[@ninajohnson8389]

Not true

[@charlielondon722]

My rarest personality type infj, and my O rh negative ancient royal bloodline, wasn't good enough apparently 😍😍♥️😱