she gives off narcissistic vibes

I'm choosing to be alone for the simple fact that I only attract narcissistic people like the mother N father that provided for me during childhood. When all you have to offer is the morality you were denied... people pass you by. Alone is Safer

I can completely relate, the narcissist pushes you away until you leave just to play victim and pretend to scratch there heads at your absence. Screw those Narcy freaks they're not worth it!!

I try continually to forgive the two people who wrongfully took my child from me, violated my parental rights over and over and over again, tried brainwashing my son to think I was nothing but a promiscuous loser, and falsely accused my twin brother of abusing him (who ended up taking his own life years later). How do you forgive such an atrocity as that just once? They took so much from me and feel absolutely no remorse whatsoever. I constantly tell myself that God saw it all, and He knows what happened. He knows I’m innocent, that my brother was innocent, and that their actions where not only cruel, but unnecessary. I could’ve sued them in civil court, ruining both of their careers, but I chose to let God handle it. Revenge is his. I can’t help but feel horrific pain over what they did to me and my family, though. I just pray that my son learns the truth one day- the WHOLE truth. I protected him from so much for so long, only to still have to do it because I want to be the bigger person and set a better example for my son on what NOT to do to your enemies. I’ve been suffering for 20 years. When will the pain stop? When will there be justice? God has a reason for everything, and I know he allowed this to happen for a reason- but that doesn’t help my pain at all! It is so hard to pray for them, yet I do it.

What if I acknowledge that I have low self esteem and I want to set boundaries with older siblings who correct me often? It makes me feel hurt when they correct me, as if I am stupid.

😢

I was never aloud to be proud of myself or wear clothes that was well mannered. I was always told i was dressing to look good for other women and i was looking at them and i was lusting and i never was. I was always this piece of crap. She called me a bitch over and over and i got with her to sabotage her life. I messed up in the beginning but she would never let me overcome it. It sucks because i have nothing but love for her. But she wont believe it. Its over because i cant let her make me be who she tells me i have to be . All i want is to be whole again and meet the right virtuous woman who sees me for how God sees me.

Sorry, this will be a long one, but I have to keep reminding myself about the all the facts of what happened to me. There is so much cognitive dissonance now that I forget, and I often start to think of reasons why it could actually work in the future when that is impossible. I thought, like many, that my covert narcissist (CN) was the “love of my life.” We were both coming out of divorces when we met and our relationship progressed very rapidly, despite her saying that she never wanted to get married again. She had been in a bad marriage with an alcoholic (and was afraid to leave) and some good church people helped her. She was borrowing a car from a wealthy couple at church, and she and her daughters were living in a place paid for her by other wealthy people. The divorce and poor money management left her and her ex bankrupt. I regularly helped her make ends meet after we met. First it was $50 here and there, and then eventually it became about $1,000 a month. She definitely had the “charm” and the whole “I’m perfect” mask going on. And, she is beautiful, too. And, of course, everyone loved her (actually, a red flag). We started talking (in a round-about way) about marriage on date one (red flag that I was unaware of). When I think back, I think we were both thinking, “You can save me,” (red flag). I thought everything was perfect between us as time went on but actually she wasn’t telling me about anything that may have been bothering her. She was a people-pleaser that hated conflict of any sort (another red flag). After four years of being in love, and a week after giving me a framed picture that said, “You are my happily ever after,” she discarded me in a bar. It was a week or so after I threw her a party and bought the “wrong” cake and the “wrong” flowers for that party. There were no arguments leading up to the discard, just that “all caps” text about how the flowers and cake were wrong. After she said she was leaving me (in a bar), I asked her to come outside and talk to me, and not just end things there. She refused. She gave no real explanation, just things like “we’re incompatible,” and that she sought Biblical advice before leaving. At this time she was now using a car I lent to her. A month before the discard she was asking me for more money than usual (red flag). Within weeks of the discard she was seeing another guy. I was flabbergasted, but know now that this is normal for the CN. She used my car to see him (unbeknownst to me). How could she be seeing someone else right away after being with me for four years, especially when I was so devastated and confused? I suggested she go to counseling, and I paid for it. She had a good counselor that asked her to examine her childhood wounds. Her mom was an alcoholic that had been married four times. After four months she came back, and I was intensely love-bombed. I had no idea about CN. She wrote me several letters of apology and asked me if I would give her an engagement ring. I did. We didn’t set a date, though. Throughout our time together she had often told me, “This is hard for me.” After she came back, she told me several times, “I will never leave you.” In retrospect, a CN will say anything rather than be abandoned (but they will abandon you if your supply becomes boring, you grow a set and have boundaries, or they find fresh supply). She was controlling but not extremely controlling. During Covid 19, she insisted I wear a mask in public, despite the fact that I knew the research, and knew cloth masks didn’t do squat. But, I went along and wore the mask rather than face conflict. The love-bombing went on, and then faded some. Then after some time, her ex-husband died, and I think that triggered her. She became distant and asked me to be patient with her. At one time, I had lost my FB account and had to rebuild it. When I put on FB that she and I were engaged, she did not acknowledge that, and I asked her why. She said she didn’t like to be “that personal” on FB. Before I lost my profile, that declaration was fine. In retrospect, it was a CN’s way of being “available” for potential new supply, despite being engaged. At times, she would get more distant, and withdraw affection, saying it wasn’t Biblical. After seven years, we set a date. She postponed it a few times, giving excuses that made “sense” to me (I was blinded, in love, trauma-bonded, and afraid to lose her). Finally, we had a ceremony with about 50 friends. We didn’t get licenses (our secret) because she said she would have lost her ex’s social security benefits if she legally got married (true, yes, but again, likely just a way of not fully committing). Immediately after the wedding, she became very controlling. On our honeymoon, she was more distant. After the honeymoon, she started moving stuff into my house, but got upset if I voiced my opinion on where to put furniture, etc. I hardly saw her for three months. Then she came over and said, “I can’t do this.” Her eyes were blank, and I could not detect the slightest remorse or care for me. She said she wanted to be friends, and for us raise her daughters (read as “I need your money”). She said there was no other guy. She really had no explanation, other than “we aren’t compatible.” She told me not to text her about her giving me back my car, that she would need time to get one herself (entitlement). I told her I could not be friends with her, after eight years, and a marriage. In the next three months, she would text me about needing money for her youngest daughter (triangulation), the one I was closest to… she was the one I met when she was just 11, and I loved her a bunch. I soon I found out there was another guy, that she had been seeing before the discard…a typical CN trait of grooming supply before discarding the old supply. She posts on FB (I hear) about her new relationship regularly. Her rebound was immediate, as typical for a CN. She lied to me countless times during our years. I’m not dumb, but I was blinded. The pain is still often crushing after a year and a half, despite me obtaining a “PhD” in covert narcissism, as many do after being discarded and looking for answers. I still find myself dreaming that “she will be okay, it’s just a phase she has to go through.” The likelihood of her changing and becoming a faithful partner is infinitesimal. CNs go through the valuation/love-bombing phase, devaluing phase, finding new supply phase, the discard phase, and the repeat phase. I live in a smaller city so I really have to go out of my way to avoid her, and I have blocked her from messaging and email. It “appears” to me that she is as happy as a lark now, but the experts say that is just part of the mask… to show the world how great she is doing. I am a mess, and couldn’t consider dating now. I often wonder if she even loved me.

Thank you 💕 it helped me hearing you. I'm listening to you again

I cant find an answer though to my question. What if their silent trearment, and by me not feeding into it. Makes them angrier or dangerous?

Perspective is everything and everything is perspective. Those choosing to hear the narcissists version despite knowing you as a person, despite your flaws we all possess, is getting something from their relationship with the narcissist. It only took me 36 years to figure it out so I guess they're on their own timeline. In my case she also was married, a woman in his cult, he was constantly flirting, I guess one finally fell for it.

Very informative. I'm in a place learning that I have been gas lit. All my life, especially when young. Consequently have been somewhat defensive when someone does this. Do not react is the best antidote. I've been told a lot of things about myself that were not true, not totally.

My wife would always accuse me of having Girlfriends, she said it loosely but it used to bother me. Ironically she was the one who had an affair, and literally destroyed our home and family. Red flags before this was, never apologizing for anything, never sharing finances. She had the perfect front to everyone else on the outside. Upon discovering the infidelity, absolutely no remorse- and when presented with forgiveness and effort to save and work on our marriage, she became angry and more abusive. Not one effort at all. It took a while to realize as shocking as what happened felt like to let go, as living with that hostility after the infidelity really impacted my health. Peace is superior than the fear of being alone.

I'm to boring to be obsessed over, I'd much rather be obsessed with u Gorgeous!!

Hello, Thank you for this video. I agree with you in most of the points. My issue involves family members. I want to ask you what do I do when family members are constantly drama dumping on me? My idea was to just disappear but I do feel sorry for their situation.

It was hard for me to close off myself from her. Because I Love her. I finally got it thru my head n heart, that she doesn't feel the same as I do. And everyday with nothing from her side, just reinforces that. It's been long enough now, that even if she changed into the Perfect Woman of my Dreams, I would still say No. And walk away. Put me thru Hell, for years, and then want to come back to me? I'd rather die Alone.

Co-dependent sister uses manipulation of others "you need help" to avoid looking at herself.

The best thing I learned from a very sick Narc was, in order to win, you must first learn how to lose... The day I excepted my losses, was the day I won! Balkan Shipyards

Great video, great teuth. Wheres the women like you in the world😅

This thumbnail! 🥰 Good lord. 😍

How do you handle narcissistic siblings?

I love your videos Stephanie. It's been 3 years since I was discarded after a 24 year marriage involving abuse, lying, addictions & affairs. My Mother is highly Narcissistic & I'm the family Scapegoat. They even took my ex into the family & not me. Was sick. He's got a new supply. I've had 2 relationships with guys who weren't my types as I'm trying so hard to find someone opposite to him. I've done absolutely everything you suggest....I've tried making new friends, joined groups, volunteered, but 3 years later & it feels He's moved on & I'm stuck with a lonely life I never wanted. My only daughter has moved out of home & I'm so alone in my apartment that won't even allow pets. I'm 50 years old & can't see a way out of this mess.

Describes all my friends. What to do?

My ex narcissist is with a narcissist they both don't work live off of other people i was with him for 5 years i worked i had a car and my own place this one has nothing don't understand why he got with her

Cool-videos! My five-year relationship came to an end a month ago. The love of my life chose to leave, and I can't stop thinking about him; I love him so deeply. I've done everything I can to win him back, but nothing seems to work. I'm feeling frustrated and can't imagine my life with anyone else. Despite my efforts to move on, I just can't shake the thoughts of him. I don’t know why I’m sharing this, (but I really miss him)

Cool-videos! My five-year relationship came to an end a month ago. The love of my life chose to leave, and I can't stop thinking about him; I love him so deeply. I've done everything I can to win him back, but nothing seems to work. I'm feeling frustrated and can't imagine my life with anyone else. Despite my efforts to move on, I just can't shake the thoughts of him. I don’t know why I’m sharing this, (but I really miss him)

You are SOOOOO describing my godmother! She has ALL these traits! And I truly believe that woman is a narcissist too! She is sweet and nice when she wants to be but man! When her controlling/ narcissistic side is activated she is a terror! My graduate school professor also sounds like this too! She acts a lot like a narcissist too!

Explaining to a narcissist is a waste of time and feeds their suffering ego. Walk away

Two words. MY WORTH

My sister is trying to manipulate/control me again and it dives her nuts tgst I don't really care! She escalates (she's deeply insecure and damaged by 12 years of being with a narcissist). Now I am doing well and she is burnt out with her life, she is desperate to have control or status in my life (she needs to be needed).

im sorry....what was that?

Got my best Christmas gift ever, got my discard right before Christmas, saved myself a ton of money

I think this is my adult daughter. I am emotionally drained and feel overwhelmed to the point of physical stress. The aggression from her comes out of nowhere catching me by surprise disarming my ability to process what is going on until I feel crazy. I'm told I should not engage or end the conversation. However this makes them even more angry which makes them hurl more aggression and insults. I literally don't know what to do or say. Can you do a video on how to shut down the conversation and how to back out of interacting with them?

Sometimes the people we fall for are what we Want..but they can't give us what we Need.

I don't want to be in that space anymore.

Usually people smiling are manipulative tactic

When someone shows you who they are, believe them and from there do what is best and healthiest for YOU and don’t turn back. Practice loving yourself until it becomes a habit.

You laid out some serious truth bombs in this video, as regards being wounded. I liken it to starvation; when you are starving, you will eat anything, but when you are regularly satiated, you become particular about what you put in your body. Appreciate the wisdom and insights you present, was always.

After the relationship that sparked my healing journey, I went no contact and truly began working on myself. We share a child together but he's not interested in her. I parallel parent w his mom instead of him. I once saw him one time at a drop off where he tried asking for a hug after discarding me and disappearing for months as a means to talk to me about dropping child support against him. I stood my ground even when he threw his tantrum. Lol, I'm enjoying this new version of me and I'm so thankful for the discard.

Yes, we have to learn how to treat ourself properly, and how we relate to ourself.

Dad left and I’ve always felt like the man of the house with 2 sisters. I’ve been “tough” for 15 years and just realizing I’ve never felt a real connection in my relationships out a defensive posture. I need a therapist

The narcissist puts you on their hamster wheel. We have to slow down and rediscover ourselves.

Do you want to die sad and hurt being controlled by how others treat you. Or are you going to look back and see a strong person who endured and became happy on their own.

Tysm lady🎉

Really powerful!!!

In my experience .... 💯 FACT. I got played and used. No regrets for keeping my word, my loyalty, or 💯 commitments. My mistake has been NOT acknowledging my faith. I'm digging my way out. 🙏 ❤ 💪

💯😊

I've been handed this garbage trauma since childhood. I wouldn't be me without it. it's worth it. I'm not going to let any verb, noun be a emotional trigger to my healing. don't allow them to bring up the past trauma that you weren't even prepped for make you give up. Keep it up, don't let them belittle your hurt. your healing

Your channel has been life-saving! "Child throwing a tantrum" . This is how it feels daily with 'coparenting' with my child's father.

I got pregnant by him. His mask came off toward me. He got worse when I held him accountable , even worse when I created boundaries.