Narcissist: YOUR Colleague, Co-worker, Employee

Employment requires hierarchy and team work, so leads to repeated narcissistic injuries and a very high risk of narcissistic mortification
Narcissist attempts to restore grandiosity: bullying, collusion (conspiracies rather than coalition building), noncreative disruption and destruction, oneupmanship, passive-aggression or rage
Preempt abandonment, injuries, mortification: defection, whistleblowing, subversion, virtue signaling, competitive victimhood, litigiousness
Emphasis on appearance, not substance (shared fantasy): entitlement, shortcuts, IP and other crimes (mainly white collar), headline knowledge and faked expertise, plagiarism or undue credit, misrepresentation and inflation, grandiose big picture and disdain for details (bean counting), procrastination and perfectionism.
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[@noobie64]

I have an employee who is a covert narcissist. He will only participate on a job if he's in charge of the team and he will use this position to bully, intimidate and undermine the other team members. He acts grandiose when given any type of perceived authority. Seeing how destructive his behaviour was towards employee morale and how counterproductive everyone would become I took him off of these jobs and put him solo in the laboratory. When I did this his change in behaviour was dramatic. No longer able to be the center of attention he became sullen, passive-aggressive, quiet and gives the silent treatment long-term to anyone who he perceives as slighting him. As his boss he treats me with a fake respect and smile but it's very put on. He seems intent daily to make the workplace as toxic as possible but with the help of Sam's videos I have been able to not turn my frustration into anger and manage an employee who previously seemed completely unmanageable.

[@kylek3852]

It's not the just workplaces that have become narcissistic, it's society, it's the world

[@julieblakley4217]

I just got out of a very toxic work environment and put in a complaint against the bully assistsnt manager on my way out the door. It was a terrible place filled with terrible people.

[@ellenbruckermarshall4179]

Most business schools teach this, under the guise of Leadership. Forgetting, that good followership is a skill that balances. Most wish to be the leader. Not even try to learn the shared role of followers.

[@Nope-ru1rd]

“Can I talk to your superior” 😂😂😂😂😂

[@theloveflows8773]

"They are a Pond masquerading as an Ocean." This is why I love you Sam, thank you once again❤

[@lloydlivsey6261]

Gold lol

[@amoonbeams]

I had an experience with a N just like this in my workplace. Management actually made up a new job position/title just for her. Management accepted her tattling and lying about co-workers and ignored and disregarded our large group's grievances about her lies. Several of us who had worked there for many years have since left the poisioned work environment. Myself included. Exactly how you described it today. Thank Sam for sharing your expertise.❤

[@lamusica1592]

Beware if you work in unregulated sectors, like the arts, music etc. Its like a candy store for malignant narcs because there's no regulation. Even in the upper tiers there's a lot of financial abuse, see Britney Spears manager ( not just her dad!), Kelis, and many many more

[@lorain_nyc]

Quite true! It’s brutal.

[@LearnCompositionOnline]

Oh yeh

[@Nope-ru1rd]

Keep up the work on linking anxiety with psychopathy/narcissism. What we consider chronic anxiety may actually be Anxiety Light. Whereas the Cluster B’s are actually a full blown incorporation of defense mechanism to reduce anxiety. However, this may stem from being scared of anxiety instead of embracing it. We run from anxiety when maybe the running is giving us the disorder. Many of the great thinkers were fond of anxiety.

[@anotherday9719]

I had malignant narcissists losing her mind with me she tried everything from flying monkeys, hovering, the rage the insults nothing worked, it made her rage at me even more the look in her eyes was so demonic. I couldn't take her crap anymore when I had gone off on her. That's what she wanted, but little did she know. The next day, I went to my manager and asked for a voluntary demotion. I'm a very good worker never really call in and do what's expected of me, he was going to lose a good worker, I let him know all what she had done especially me warning others of her behavior towards me. I had my evidence for backup, I gave my manager a couple of weeks to put in my letter for voluntary demotion. My manager demoted her and placed her in another department, come to find out she had quit, I know I'm there main supply a threat to his production is not good so he took my side. I was told by a manager at another company never take anything personal and to remind myself its business. I had to let my manager know I'm here for business it's nothing personal and the way she's coming at me I feel like it's personal.

[@angelicapickles_]

This was a spot on description of a few people I know. Loved this breakdown

[@donnamarrie3272]

Congratulations, Professor Vaknin 🎊

[@RPMentorTokyoChannel]

I have co-worker who displays some of the behaviors you pointed out in this video. As we work in a small office, I ended up informing the office of some of their behavior, having a meeting with everyone further explaining, and setting a minimal-contact rule.

[@barbarascoggins5239]

Congratulations to you Sam! You deserve this honor!

[@donnamarrie3272]

Excellent video and content, Sam!

[@lindaerman3436]

Wonderful! So glad your findings will be published in that journal. Love your work. More people need to know about snapshotting,etc. It really explains things.

[@paulahansen4102]

Your videos are gooooold

[@anag4552]

Congratulations Dr. Vaknin!

[@user-sj8eo1sc9y]

This is excellent as a mental health clinician and supervisor. Thank you.

[@supgov5239]

Thank you!

[@msmb4980]

Thank you for the video Sam❤ Could you do a video about "Borderline as employees"?

[@samvaknin]

Yes. Good topic suggestion. Thank you.

[@tapaswini1999]

If narcissists don't have substance and depth, then how do they get PhDs and professional jobs?

[@samvaknin]

All systems now accommodate narcissists and their shallowness. Fake it till you make it our era's organizing principle.

[@tapaswini1999]

Thank you for explaining the root cause of narcissist’s behaviour. It helps a lot to know that they are the problem. But in order to get PhDs in the US they have to take graduate level classes and do well them. I wonder how do they manage to do that. I think that they use their manipulative and victim mentality to get ahead. Some of it is also plagiarism and stealing other people’s ideas and taking credit for it. However, they don’t go very far, because they don’t have the ability to think in complex ways.

[@merrymerry7390]

? What do you make of the characters on the tv show Succession ?

[@JessieInTheSky09]

Can you elaborate more on what you mean by “schizoid jobs like coding”? (Even more broadly the connection between math and psychosis?) I’ve seen the connection in the movies but I would love to hear you explain it as an intellectual.

[@samvaknin]

Search the channel for "schizoid" and "profession".

[@burningproblem]

Ian McGilchrist goes very deep into this in The Matter With Things.

[@dianamanotti8953]

Ok, I have a question. My narcissistic co-worker said she holds 2 bachelor's degrees when I said I have a doctorate. Is she trying to diminish my doctorate or is she so delusional that she really thinks 2 bachelor's degrees equals a doctorate? Please help, I'm confused. Perhaps she is just plain dumb? ANSWER PLEASE ANYONE

[@rockstarofredondo]

Who cares what a toxic coworker thinks?

[@dianamanotti8953]

@@rockstarofredondo You are right. Thanks.

[@pirateheart21]

Married to one 21 years, finally divorced only to get a new manager and assistant manager who are...as I tell my kids at least I dont have to sleep with my boss.. but ugghh.. from the pan into the fire..past manager was great.. oh well keep on kepping on..

[@pursue513]

The answer is : Yes, yes, and yes.