Narcissistic Entitlement=Learned Helplessness+Grandiosity

Entitlement is a hallmark of all types of narcissists: they are convinced that they deserve special treatment and privileges as well as narcissistic supply without any commensurate accomplishments or efforts.
But what laymen and experts alike fail to appreciate is that entitlement is a form of learned helplessness.
Abusive parents do not allow the child to develop boundaries, to separate, and to individuate.
Consequently, the child comes to depend on them for both acting in the world and for regulating his internal environment. In other words: the child is rendered perennially helpless.
This artificially induced impotence provokes the child’s aggression. He sublimates this forbidden impulse by becoming demanding, petulant, and implacable (“spoiled brat”), a pattern of misbehavior that carries well into his dysfunctional adulthood.
Routines negate entitlement and provoke compensatory grandiosity and defiant itinerancy.
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[@blueskyswithasmile5416]

They want to have “New beginnings” all the time.. anything else is boring

[@tatianapantazopoulou7518]

Im not a native english speaker but I think Vaknin' s english is the english at its best. True enjoyment

[@day_dreamer_]

I actually had a light bulb moment a few months back, where I realized my bpd ex who displayed narcissistic traits was not merely a victim of narcissistic abuse and what not from his parents but was actually likely spoiled too....and it hadn't occurred to me before, probably because I empathized with him, but it just clicked and I realized that's why he has that entitlement/helplessness thing....so that's why I clicked on this video. You really explained the entire concept so richly and thoroughly, thank you.... it really does bring it all together and I understand much better now.

[@kajsajohansson9633]

I was conditioned to believe I was a follower when in reality I was always a natural born leader and iconoclast

[@rupk5578]

🤣🤣 the most narcassistic comment ever

[@Snow-wz6eu]

I love when women know their worth.

[@barbarasterner7863]

"Now things come together, the man said as he claimed the gallow¨s tree...Excellent lecture!

[@marieanne8679]

Female work colleagues around me all 'practise' learned helpness - it seems to sustain bonds amongst these women. I have always been resourceful and independent and don't need to elicit help from these colleagues, however, if I did that would be in exchange for their coming to me for help and therefore contributing to the workplace bond.

[@sanjamh]

And the New Age doctrine caters to an already existing tendency perfectly

[@SavingSoulsMinistries]

Amen! The “You’re a special boy and higher level frequency than the normal folk” really spawn demonic offspring in staggering numbers during these end times!!

[@jjj2572]

great video. would be very interesting to hear some basic self-help from you - in order to understand what steps to take when you are aware of your own learned helplessness

[@elibernholz7986]

What distinguishes empty schizoid core from the Buddhist-like emptiness you spoke about earlier?

[@Beaumirabel]

Wow amazing video, thank you

[@bassault]

Wouldn't anyone get bored of routine eventually? Imagine eating the same food over and over and doing the same tasks over and over. Does this hatred of routine matter if it is mentally stimulating or not? Because I don't see how people would not get bored of routine eventually.

[@agatanakonieczny2213]

Actually in most of the cases you do not do everything in the same way, as you master in what you do. It could be a stimulant after some time and you can stay motivated also because you learn to like little things and can imagine short and long-term outcome of your boring tasks. All really successful people (who manage to stay successful long) always talk about being persistent, diligent and concentrated. That is what comes with repetition and hard work - achievements :) Things become habits and habits become our character. Are you bored with brushing your teeth? I hope you are not ;) It is not challenging, it is repetitive but still worth doing ;) If you want to have a clean house you need to keep it clean daily. BTW in my opinion schools and teachers are underpraised while they often need to be a bit boring because many aspects of life are also boring (e.g. loading the dishwasher). I am sure that even authors of great literature sometimes got bored with what they were doing and they sometimes needed to force themselves to continue and finally finish the task. I hope I helped. Good luck!

[@robertarmero6320]

I think they do get bored of routine but then they just establish a new or refreshed routine that aligns with their current situation. Not an extremely unregulated, unpredictable life

[@josephinesyoutubechannel1770]

I'm sure most people will prefer going on vacation any day over their daily routine/job. There is a difference between acknowledging that some routines are boring but knowing they are necessary and continuing them anyway vs someone who lacks that same maturity and craves more and more novelty.

[@dr.hamidrezahashemimoghadam]

You are amazing Vaknin

[@elvansavkl7972]

Amazing.True being non stop busy and going to parties for sex so on even one is 50is very weird.

[@iskrajackal9049]

"entitled but insufficiently grandiose" v droll and funny lol 😂

[@karolina9888]

I've never heard such an accurate description of narcissism. Thank you! It's really an eye-opener. Could you make some videos on how to alleviate narcissistic traits, please?

[@calebsessions37]

yes! Please would love a video on solutions

[@koda0388]

Prof. Vaknin, i'm looking forward to your analysis of Emotional investment prevention mechanism. Please share it with us.👍

[@carolmiles553]

This lockdown has ,made all the nasty narcissist chidren to move home with parents. Working from home , Iife is a nightmare age 40 as weĺl

[@Lachelsei]

Smh

[@GenerationX1984]

What are talking about? If you're suggesting that anybody over 25 actually wants to move back in with their parents I cam assure you they do not. That's just dumb.

[@leahmorency7881]

Professor, my partner has some of these issues… he is going to a neurologist to begin neurofeedback and then will have further tests… do you have opinion on if that can help

[@samvaknin]

No, it cannot.

[@leahmorency7881]

Thank you . I will have to accept that and hope that he isn’t a narcissist.

[@jenniferharrison6010]

Has anyone read Sam Vaknins book? I love his videos but I don't know if I will be able to take in a book.

[@calebsessions37]

So what if you're that child(now adult) and recognize that you have learned many narcissistic traits but want to change? Any solutions or feedback? Honestly this sounds just like me but I see it, don't know how to fix it and tired of hurting myself and others