Narcissists overplay their hand

[@redsquirrel1086]

Unlike normal people they don't learn from life's experiences.

[@adriennedouke1880]

They will even over play a losing hand. Unbelievable.

[@GimDandy6696]

Yes!

[@ct00001]

They're so twisted up they'll even hurt themselves if it means they get to hurt you.

[@SF-wr4zn]

They gathered allies around them to validate their twisted reality.

[@CaliDreaming98]

Absolutely correct 👍

[@MrBeard-ig5zc]

Sooner or later everyone sees

[@Enochrry6024]

Flying monkeys 🐒

[@louiseelliott6404]

This is why a narcissist needs you way more than you’ll ever need them!

[@jaks4164]

That's treu. But for us is, you love somebody, than you cann't do that people so much pain. And That's the problem, we cann't in our live this understand. Love is no pain.

[@IsabellaPiesch]

@@jaks4164 You have to understand that a narcissist can´t love you and never will love you. He just uses other people.

[@moosepatil5946]

That’s my narc mom’s infamous lie, “X will need me before I ever need them.” Kept me in line for years

[@emmamonroe3311]

I cannot believe this even exists. Two years later almost and I’m still shocked probably always will be.😑😑😑😑

[@elaineclewley4704]

It's so bad isn't it,? Took me 5 years to get over the fact I had a relationship with a covert, then an overt It's awful how they treat people

[@emmamonroe3311]

@@elaineclewley4704 Ben on Raw Motivations on here said that a lot of coverts turn into overts. I don’t know if it’s true but he’s a self aware narcissist so he would know better than us. Is that why you are saying this?

[@elaineclewley4704]

@@emmamonroe3311 no, I've come across both type of narc, the covert and overt Different personalities, exactly the same abuse tactics Never knew what a narc was can do a degree on it now

[@lookinglass11]

Same

[@MoeSoNatural]

I was in a 2 year relationship with a narcissist and left him over a year ago. That was my first experience ever dating one. It was diabolical. The other day, I was driving to the gas station and it popped in my head about how wicked narcissists are. The surreal wickedness experienced in a relationship w/ a narcissist definitely sticks with you because it’s unlike anything else in the worse way and it happened to us.

[@JoMendezWarrior]

I thank GOD I discarded my narc ex. She thought she had me wrapped around her finger but I realized that living in that tornado is NOT living. After 3 years I made the decision to move on. I changed my locks, alarm codes, blocked every form of communication. ZERO Contact now 4 months! hallelujah

[@truthhurtshuh5443]

Great for you sounds like Lock Stock and Barrel.

[@emmathompson6470]

I stayed for 28 years. It was my second marriage and I desperately wanted things to work. In the end there was police intervention Anda no contact order it took weeks to stop jumping at the slightest noise and a terror that he would return. Looking back now I can see the red flags but at each time he dismissed them. It disintegrated into domestic violence. I am so glad it's over. I am gone and will never return nor be treated like that again

[@Michael_Arguello]

Oh how the tables have turned. Playbook is out there. So now we know the enemy. Now if we truly know ourselves, we shall always be victorious in the end. It’s in The Art of War and it applies here.

[@TheGr8-1]

She played the silent treatment card. Simply because I showed her she was being hypocritical in her critique of me, that she wasn’t always right and that I was feeling like I wasn’t a priority for her. Then after a week of ST, she reached out as if everything was fine. And I haven’t responded since.

[@DennisNowland]

Some people can manage a narcissist by being indifferent, almost as if they do their own thing, and don't take any notice of the narcissists antics.

[@huubhermse7058]

Very relatable

[@Mike-q5f4m]

When I'm down you pick me up every time and I thank you for that Mr. Joe!!

[@danilhino]

Totally blown away by your video and people comments. I have experienced the same thing; the NPD playbook is the same. I also self-reflected on my behaviors and found out I have INFJ personality. The covert NPD woman, tried to play the victim testing my empathy level, subtle triangulation, tried to coerce me into sex in private. I felt her coldness, emptiness and dark soul. My intuition felt a dark spirit presence and felt attracted to her, until I saw in her eyes it was coming from inside of her. They want someone caring for them and they devalue/discard and betray that person to hurt, steal and kill their soul. I never ever had feelings of envy, jealousy towards anyone, it was very difficult for her to break my self-esteem. Would be very valuable to have more videos on female covert narcissist, as she uses sex as tool from power and control. There is something very predatory and malignant about people with NPD, they are like a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Good men and nice guys can easily fall prey to any type of abuse and being hurt for life without professional help.

[@RandallGlatt]

Good men and nice guys just need self respect that's all

[@dub1951]

​@@RandallGlattso true

[@GinjaNinja01]

Imho 'they' have a Spiritual/Soul disorder...not a 'mental' one. Evil...is REAL..look around. Cheers Joe, great piece

[@socalfriend6985]

Its like playing a game with someone and losing every time. Pretty soon you want to play the game with someone, anyone else.

[@soniajoy3727]

😂 u can t take these people seriously , it s hilarious

[@sarahmajor1685]

Joe, I can't thank you enough for your your insights. Since my Narc left 6 months ago following 2 years of living together (he told me he'd fallen out of love 4 days before he packed up and went) your thoughts, talks and help has been invaluable in my steps towards my recovery. NPD is an insidious disorder which messes with lives and minds.

[@scooterpatooter9484]

Yeah, they're good for that kind of bomb-dropping. He will be back, sadly. Don't take him. You stay strong and keep pushing forward! You got this!

[@RandallGlatt]

He obviously found a new primary that was being groomed probably 3 or 4 months before leaving

[@MoeSoNatural]

Hi Joe, I got your KZbin from Quora. I’m a contributor on your space about narcissists there. I want to thank you for the work you do- one day, March 2021, I started googling my (now ex) partner’s personality traits because I knew it was mental illness and came across narcissism after listing his issues. He got the entire list. I dived extremely deep into research about it and left him June 2021. He harassed me via email and phone calls until October 2021 despite the blocking in everything, moving, changing cars, etc. Finally he went away and got married to someone a couple months later, on my birthday December 5th. He treats her horribly and I pray for her but I know until she makes the conscious decision and execution to leave, it won’t stop. Anyway, the overplay their hand is the best explanation of how they react to ppl they have control over. Folks snap out of it one day and the narc is so shocked their grasp has slipped away. They cannot accept defeat

[@tinalight7106]

Thank you for making these videos. The accuracy really gives me a new understanding that has taken some of the feeling of betrayal away.

[@ninath13]

You just realize something is not normal with this person but when the disrespect comes it's time to go that Is can't do I do love me

[@katiehutchins1794]

Man I want to thank you so much for this. Your videos are legit the most accurate explanation of a narcissist I’ve come across. I’m in a relationship with a narcissist now and it’s someone I’ve known for almost 20 years. I will continue to listen to this on repeat until I can make the right decision. Again, thank you.

[@janetteunsworth3252]

Try and make your exit plan. You deserve better.

[@sammoe1292]

Get out.

[@cynthiafortier2540]

The right decision is to RUN, not walk away but run, and run fast. They get worse with age. No saving these evil creatures, SAVE YOURSELF FOOL!!

[@kfitz192]

RUN! And don't look back.

[@operationgetthugs232]

Narcissist-psychopath wife walked out on me and our 6 children to muck around overseas. Could care less about her own children.

[@Lyrielonwind]

Their children are better without them. My mother is a narcissist and I wish I would have been an orphan or she would have left us than suffering her throughout my whole life.

[@HarryBarker-yp1xv]

Thats true. She moved on to a new persona. She'll be back when that fails. Keep your children close and away from her.

[@innerpeaceandselflove]

Wow,I have to give you props ,you are one of the best out here that understand NPD!! New sub here!

[@lathiswamtyingizane1643]

He truly is

[@finnhopeful6484]

thank you Joe, this has been years of on going abuse like this. thank you for allowing the world to know the truth about these people that someone like me would not feel safe discussing

[@elinaselene]

Wow thanks for clarifying I completely stood up for myself after going round the insideous wheel a few times - he didn't like this and blamed me for causing the relationship issues, particularly trust issues!!?? I was so unregulated by the end, then he wondered I left him? It all makes sense now...

[@elaineclewley4704]

Thank you You are so educated o this subject You've helped so many people

[@truthteller1973]

You are correct. Thank you 🙏🙏🙏

[@joebhouse]

🙏🙏

[@jaawzd]

Mine said. I want you to think about me all day. Isn't that weird.

[@seraphicanarchy9515]

Joe, I get so much from the unique, everyday, grounded, 'real life people' way you put things. Your empathy & warmth has accelerated my self-extraction from life long narcissistic abuse & I am so thankful for the ease & comfort listening to you brings. It is because I appreciate & value your work so highly, that I must respectfully draw attention to where you describe, @ approx.2:50 "people who have thrown in the towel", "submissive, zombie like", "confrontational: screaming at the narcissist", "traits of instability", "BPD", "Bi Polar," "begging pleading", essentially you are discussing mal-attachment to the narcissist, co-dependancy. Within context, of course, in broad terms you're right but there's an exception to every rule. I have autism. High functioning, high masking, Asperger's, ASD, whatever name you like, it's not helpful, when already so unrecognised , unacknowledged & misunderstood in society, that behaviours I myself & many others no doubt, have exhibited in the face of our torturers, are described this way. Now I know, you can't idiot proof the world or educate it either but I would be extremely appreciative if you might consider the particularly heinous consequences of narcissistic abuse on autistic women (and men, whatever) & remember just how our social, childlike naïveté, poor emotional regulation, financial vulnerability & absence of deception leaves us very easy pickings for these parasites. My reactions are not motivated by deficiency or driven by dysfunction but by sheer collapse of self from the betrayal. My entire existence has been that of life support for narcs & their soul raping head fuckery. I don't have a mental illness. I do not have a personality disorder. I am neurobiologically different, my brain is wired different, learns different. Social shit is all fucked up anyway, even after you 'learn" the responses required, far as I can tell. The ego serving, time wasting, transparent dance of bullshit is tedious & boring & I pay it no mind. I don't ever see fucked up people coming because of it, I assume everyone is 'sane' but this narc shit? From the ones loved & trusted the most? Please consider not all the negative behaviours observable are motivated by the same impetus. I hope you understand what I mean. Thank you, Joe. No other has assisted me as you have.

[@stylist62]

Good video🥰🙏Exactly how you say it 🥵driven by hate anger, desire to fight, they have a sense of power creating chaos. Which makes them the whims they are.👍

[@soniajoy3727]

U have to except they will always be that way.

[@Kidge.6081]

Again sir. Really excellent. Very specific. If you say something that might be vague to some, you clarify. Example is you mention the ppl who stay may have some issues like Borderline pers dis and were even more specific and clear. But don’t repeat yourself. Not repeating yourself is huge for cohesion, continuity and credibility. Mahalo 🤙

[@lathiswamtyingizane1643]

am loss for words Joe the way you explaining its as if you leaving in my life....everything word u say about these people is true

[@irstalina]

This is so true. Thank you. ❤

[@MarcMolk]

Your voice calms me. You are not vindictive. I hope I'll reach this point. I have stydy and understood what I lived with this horrible women (I call her "The reptile") but if I don't entertain my anger, here it comes the sadness (the major one), so I can't be calm like you, I can't let me be calm. Self preservation. Here you speak as if there was just a problem with the sink in you bathroom and you gave us the trick to let go the flow. Easy peasy. I don't know how to do this.

[@passerby6168]

Where there's a will there's a way. Your story reads exactly how I felt not so long ago. The work you do now (to find the right balance between the anger and sadness) starts to pay off later. If you jackhammer the base of a long wall you don't want anymore, you go away at the end of the day and the wall is still standing. It feels like nothing is being achieved. Then one day you just push with a finger and the whole wall collapses (or much of it). While being pulled being the two extremes it's awful. Just keep going. Overcome the emotions, and real feelings (Love) will enter. Love God. He's teaching us something. Always.

[@lisbethbird8268]

Great answer. 100% resonated for me.@@passerby6168

[@HEWholoves-w1d]

Inducing confusion equals bye funny how the mask slip so quick

[@robertwhitehead9831]

Thank you so much Joe. Learning so much and healing from your videos. Your a life saver.

[@Merbella]

You have to be numb or zombie like to stay with the narc. 😢

[@GimDandy6696]

There are complicated situations - gray rock

[@tamimchoudhury4285]

Thank you Joe for explaining the narcissist's behavior so well, that is my relationship 100%, this is what I am going through, I hope it ends soon, been far too long😢

[@fainitesbarley2245]

Walk away!

[@kfitz192]

RUN! You deserve better.

[@tamimchoudhury4285]

@@kfitz192 Just applied for divorce after 34yrs, he said that he will change 😳 now acting as a victim that I am the nasty one, telling everyone that I am leaving him. I don't care, as long as I feel free to breath the air. 🙏

[@klyn9619]

Thanks for watching! 🕊️✨🙏🪽🫶

[@Madamex369]

… this has been my experience with every NPD/BPD … it’s tantamount to criminal escalation.

[@Andypandieful]

Thanks Joe. Yep. Negative fuel ⛽️ is far more potent then any love bombing or positive ⛽️ .

[@C6499-z2b]

Thank you so much for your videos. These videos are the most accurate explanation of a narcissist. How do you know so much about them? Thank you thank you! 💕

[@zigorxxx]

So true, when i saw saddistic traits she displayed, i get the f*** out of there, i was already uncomfortable, but that card get me convinced to make the escape plan, lower the profile and the exposure, she tried to hoover me, I ghosted, she tried to reclaim attention, leave, blocked everywhere and no contact. Is like they cant stop doing things that will be blatantly in their own detriment

[@RandallGlatt]

But your a challenge your the Grade A that everyone talks about. You have self love and self respect. Your confident, strong, and smart. You have the traits that Narky's infatuated with. Getting a compliment from you compared to a doormat is like comparing a diamond 💎 to a chunk of coal. Big boost/high 4 Narky. Narky also wants to posses your traits. She thinks If your traits rub off on her all of her problems will be solved. Your valuable cuz your scarce. Narky knows big challenge=big reward. Narky will chase and will occasionally check here and their if she's got a shot. You don't react that validates all your fine assets. Narky will risk injury here cuz the reward is just 2 great 2 pass up. Your different than the Grade F doormat. Your so smart your actually unpredictable. Plus so mysterious you got Narky's feel good juices flowing. Your The One That Got Away did you know that. Narky actually respect you. She actually sees you as REAL and not as someone who is trying 2 con the CON. Instead Narky's days are filled with destroying weak doormats. It's supply its just so abundant and so easy to get that Narky doesn't get much out of it. Narky always wants what Narky can't have. Did you know Narky has destroyed and will continue 2 destroy weak doormats cuz of you and the injuries caused cuz of your fine qualities. Just remember YOUR THE PRIZE. And will always be the prize as long as you DON'T make any weak weenie boy mistakes. Your above her that's not easy 2 do. You have a power position. If there's one thing Narky respects it's POWER...

[@michelledonnelly8675]

Hi Joe. Back listening after over two years 🙄 remember from Quora. Thanks again Michelle

[@nicholecornes1915]

You will not be living if your in a relationship with them

[@romansepiol]

Thank you 💜

[@catrina4557]

I knew from the start, sex was good but I didn't give myself completely cuz I don't trust easily. I acted a fool and was mostly under the influence of alcohol as I lapsed before I met him, I let him treat me like shit because I was amazed at what was unfolding in front of me AND was not at my strongest due to alcohol. 5 months I was with him, he hoovers either 2 weeks or 1 month apart, I let him in my flat because I still think about him, regularly, I'm not satisfied when he leaves so what's the point? I get the trauma bonding tactics and that's why I feel this way, a little shit like that is not making me feel bad, I bought exercise equipment instead. Thankgod I never fell in Love, he tried to pull that stroke. 2 weeks now, I'm back at AA, the 12 steps would be good for anyone after narcissistic abuse, keep busy people, get in amongst people and don't isolate.

[@janetteunsworth3252]

I feel you're pain.

[@catrina4557]

@@janetteunsworth3252 💕

[@catrina4557]

He was sent to me to teach me my weakness, I believe its bigger than we realise so instead of hating on him I wish him well cuz I've came out a winner, there is no pain only strength🥰

[@janetteunsworth3252]

@@catrina4557 I'm still in the early stages of having left my nex. I call it early but to some 18 months may seem long. It took me 30 odd years to realise what a narc was and the trauma bond is definitely the hardest part for me.

[@catrina4557]

@@janetteunsworth3252 I'm downplaying it tbh. I'm actually obsessed. I was with him(casually)5 months, I can't imagine what some of you have been through with trauma bonding after such a long time. Isolating is bad for us so I get out to my groups, I was drinking alcohol alot so he never got to see the real me really, I think that was wise cuz I seen the red flags from day 1, the love bombing, constant texts, cancelled nights, ghosting, hoovering, general shitty attitude. I sobered up and I still miss him. I was attracted to him the second I seen him, was strange cuz that's not happened before to me, not in that way, couldn't get enough and I'm still contemplating it after being treated like shit, it's never happened to me before, I was actually amazed I let it happen lol

[@drewsibleyloans]

Your videos are super helpful. Thank you Joe

[@Saskia1107]

On the dot again, thank you Joe have a Lovely weekend 🌻💚☀️🥰

[@joebhouse]

Have a lovely weekend too violet!! 🍀🌼

[@lioubovgrant1935]

Thank you ! ❤

[@joshuaanzalone2060]

I'm gone foreverrrr

[@sallydaly5597]

So true are your advice, thank you.

[@griffinhines7012]

thank you ❤

[@rambultruesdell3412]

Regarding toxic people, i really do not pity their suffering as a twisted way of payback for what I usually enabled 😢. not right. nobody's fault

[@ds7807]

Joe, I just found a log sheet of the times my narc and I had sex. I will admit it is seldom because he is so cruel to me. Isn't that creepy? I makes me sad that all I am is a list of intercourse and blow jobs. Sorry if this is off topic but I need you option. Very sad.

[@janetteunsworth3252]

They use sex as a weapon against you. If they know you want sex you don't get it and if you don't want it they take it anyway.

[@uyoebyik]

Making a list like that is very bizarre. That's not a normal person. Just be glad you are no longer being fooled by him

[@IsabellaPiesch]

Narcissists have autoerotic sex. So they use you to stimulate themselves. You are a sex puppet no more for them. They don´t care how you feel it is all about them. (As always ---- everything in life is all about them). If they ask you if they were superman in bed and you say no it hurts their self-esteem very much. And they will give you great revenge (the revenge is triangulation).

[@bigceefts8047]

O.M.G!!!!! YES!!!!!!

[@MarcMolk]

I begin to believe you are the Critical Drinker ! ;) You speak exactly like him, just more chill !

[@Acceptancetoday]

He has no furniture but a chair a table for his computer and a bed. He doesn’t care. He talks about holding workshops teaching people how to live. He wrote a 40 page “book” 20 years ago in community college that was a writing assignment and at 71 years old is paying to “publish my book”. What a joke

[@soniajoy3727]

😂😂😂😂😂😂 it s more funny than sad

[@TriniStarr3527]

🙏❤

[@Gwendeline]

Is there anything good left ?

[@mariciamundle4339]

Not everyone who sticks with the narcissist for years is dysfunctional. I

[@nissmone9598]

Hi joe

[@joebhouse]

Hi Niss 👋

[@vivianeprudentiabuelens9142]

Did I do something wrong ? 💙🔗❤️ ? 😊 1:57

[@vivianeprudentiabuelens9142]

Really ?…….. nice ! 13:30

[@aurorarene9909]

That is so true that they overplay their hand! Think Donald Trump!!!

[@smarternow]

Look at demented, narcissistic, self absorbed Biden and entitled narc Obama!

[@passerby6168]

Donald is a kind of populist narcissist the covert (not so covert really, as it's subjective to one's ability to see) narcissist collective does not like. They never let him into their club. He exposes some of their methods. Keep learning, padowan.

[@kiradelarochefoucauld7499]

Thank God for Donald Trump and his awesome loving SANE Family! REAL PEOPLE.

[@jesusisgod4992]

Trump for president! 2024

[@SgtPepper138-n2l]

Why don’t they just supply each other? 🙁🫠

[@mrsmiley707]

ig because they won't put up with it since they know the playbook and tricks already

[@SgtPepper138-n2l]

@@mrsmiley707 It was just wishful thinking…

[@mrsmiley707]

@AliceDont333 yeaaa I wish Noone had to go through this

[@SgtPepper138-n2l]

@@mrsmiley707 I hear you!

[@fainitesbarley2245]

Coverts and overts can have quite long relationships together.