Why the narcissist (almost always) chases you when you don't chase them

[@AlienCatTweets]

I had a BF years ago that did just this. He would be around and then act like I didn't exist. Months would go by and I would meet someone else and as soon as Jim found out..here he would come all "I want you back". He did it to me on the eve of my wedding, begging me to not get married and he would marry me right now. I said NO THANKS.

[@samscarletta7433]

Smart!🥂

[@rachel0920]

What a cocky butthole for him to think that you would drop everything for him to just destroy what you built w this new beautiful person. The audacity, it’s sick

[@alexramos1502]

Oh lord, I think my ex boss is like. Ever seen since I quit on him 2x I’ve educated myself on NPD. I changed my number cuz days leading up to my resignation I was getting private calls non stop and now I think he figured out my new # cuz I’m already getting random phone calls.

[@SagittariusBabe87]

I was hoovered with the same line, "I want you back." That all he texted one night. I ignored it.

[@cajuncrackerranch7990]

Don’t chase, just erase. ☕️ Joe! Thank you 😊

[@Truth-matters-v2z]

Once you see, you can’t unsee.

[@socalfriend6985]

I discarded myself and blocked him. Now I get to live my best life 🧬🌴💎

[@smartsurvival2605]

I don't want him, don't care, and hope I never hear from him again.

[@incognito595]

Yes!!!!!

[@TheAdventuresOfCollegeGiRL]

I can’t wait to get to this point.. it’s coming

[@yowhatupmain]

I’m sure it backfired on her. She probably wanted me to chase after her fake discard. I never did. That’s why she won’t come back she will act as if it’s what she always wanted.

[@wmhhealth2018]

At least 50% of the time they are bluffing and don't actually have an adequate replacement for us. Always give them the discard because they are usually just using it as a manipulation. When you accept the discard it is check and mate.

[@SagittariusBabe87]

Yes, apparently they "fake breakups" and "fake discards." They want to be chased and you to come crawling back. But, when you don't, ah man. Power is in your hands then. I experienced this and asked, "Are we together, or not?" All his excuses and reasons for not being together. I knew otherwise. Saw new supply on his "phantom account." I never matterd, I was just NEXT. I accepted the break-up for what it was and he was a cluster B Narcissist.

[@incognito595]

Don't spend a Minute more thinking about them! They have already cost you too much of your precious life!

[@MrBeard-ig5zc]

Na. Take the lesson.

[@ms.k7487]

He thought I'd need him forever because I took him back so many times. He made a mistake in his thinking or prediction of my behavior. I finally woke up and respected myself.

[@incognito595]

Yes!!!!!

[@JoyHustles-cz3bn]

Go gal ....

[@JoyHustles-cz3bn]

You deserve the best you have mirrored their behavior and you can't unsee it ....Their loss...

[@Vixyvix01]

Yes!!! I had a mutual tell me that he'd said that I "always go back" so I didn't and then he came acting confused as to why I didn't beg or chase!

[@iFaerySorcière]

I absolutely love your voice and your calm approach

[@johnpeden2039]

If you were grade A supply, they'll look for you in other people.. They'll never stop thinking of you.. Especially if they block you

[@Freethnkr]

Anybody willing to put up with their crap is "grade A supply," in my opinion. They are always looking for the next prey to leech from...

[@callmeishmaelk767]

Their attempts at setting the record straight can be misconstrued as them actually being interested and torn about their feelings, nope, it's just them trying to look like the good guy and you as shit. The discard didn't go the way they wanted or expected. If you're dealing with a narcissist and they break up with you and you're like "ok, catch you never" that's going to be a huge problem for them.

[@icalotdonthide2646]

That's basically my attitude for life 😂😂😂

[@warangel4389]

Moved 1282 miles away- no access- good riddance.

[@dennisweikel2566]

Joe, appreciate your videos. One topic that you might not have touched on during the point where you are applying no contact is the desire to be loved by the narcist. Its only when your self love is high enough that you don't need or want someone's attention.

[@Acquisitor]

I was being chased by a female narcissist for three years when I was in my 20s. It didnt bother her that I had a relationship and that I was emotionally unavaiable. What bothered her was that I (contrary to many MANY other men) wasnt giving her 'attention'. She stalked me at my work and more. Then when she got tired/bored she started a smeer campagne against me online abd irl with her flying monkey friends. It was a very disturbing experience

[@kellyandaaron2005]

Your channel soothes the soul. From the bottom of my ❤ Thank You!

[@Sarah_sunshine14]

Well said. You really do soothe the soul Joe. 🙏🏻❤️

[@BeTheLight624]

When I went no contact, the narc refused to accept it and tried 37 times to hoover me in various ways. The narc was not having the loss of control, trying to overpower me, disrespecting me and my request to be left alone. The narc predator ignored no contact on every level to show who is in control, paying me back for leaving first, having the last word/laugh, without showing his face. Every no contact boundary I requested was violated several times, disrespecting/devaluing/humiliating me at many levels. This was his last blow, taking his power back, ending things on his terms on his way home. It reaffirms I did the right thing. I did not break my no contact or unblock. I am sure if I had accepted a hoover it would have turned into an excruciatingly painful slam dunk discard by the narc. I'm sharing this to prove your point about the narcs hatred of loosing control.

[@RandallGlatt]

When Narky comes back around discard them first. Now your strong and are valuable again. Do a reverse Narky on them show them karma. Your strong your smart always stay 2 steps ahead. Brain bust their each and every move to which you won't react...

[@ainahaga]

😂😂😂 narky.. that was a good one I havent heard.

[@JoePAcalaughs]

Narky Nark and their Funky Bunch 😂

[@eleawood4083]

Love your expression and explanation of this ….lived this for 20 years and he still comes for me it never ever ends . It’s a prison

[@Jennifer-xl5fh]

Wow 😲 what a woman to do when they are enamored by them ....whilst ...the explosive anger 😠🤬 and abject rage is omniously present. But this is revelation to the discerning eye can listening ear during those moments 😊

[@Karen-d3g9n]

No contact is the ONLY way to be free…..

[@ratgirl13]

Beautiful visuals. Good video Joe, thank you.

[@diannekevwitch6958]

Passing the test means you beat the devil at his game.

[@SagittariusBabe87]

Good one! 💯

[@incognito595]

They get all shocked when you finally walk away and stand up for your dignity and self worth. Then they probanly Ramp Up the Smear Campaign.

[@Bleepbloopblarp]

I’ve been studying hard for months now and I aced this last test! 💯😌✨

[@DonQ_AIB]

One day you’ll realize if you don’t already understand that the feelings you have isn’t missing them. It’s really just you feeling the pain of how horrible they are being

[@LeeEverett1]

I was the one who got away and gave her silence. All her previous exes begged her, wrote her letters, did anything for closure or to get back with her which filled her with disgust, but not me. She discarded me and I never chased her once. I just said "ok" and blocked her back. It stung like hell behind closed doors but she doesn't know that.

[@bonnieadams5516]

I really love this channel...

[@heartofgoldonfire]

Thanks for your videos Joe, they help me a lot.

[@narcfreekeekee9168]

I’m not chasing. I’m replacing. 😂

[@tinkingtinking2134]

I don't even bother replacing. When you don't need anyone anymore you've got your power back.

[@missbcritiques9209]

Just on time!!!!

[@fahimashuma]

Love listening to this, so comforting! Ty! Other people make it stressful. Your voice is always helpful.

[@terrierdelphine4682]

1 time i came back after he went to a friends wedding without me. . 8 months laters he discarded me for no reason. I never came back and he tried to call me .i never replied and i never listed his last message. I wish him to co tinue his poor life

[@HopeFaithExpect77]

She never chased me. Had another supply firmly in place. Been 9mos since discard. She moved in w him. She ghosted me. Kept my things. No hoovers.

[@comfortzone5618]

Some will hoover after years. Just make sure you never take her back. Disappear

[@phantomshenanigans2337]

There was a guy who I never even meet wanted me to go on a date with him he asked thru a mutual freind I declined the date. This guy when on a hate campaign and even tried to get me fired from my job. He was relentless for months he still creeps me out to this day.

[@Elizabeth-pn4ug]

Bless you

[@myfreedom3297]

If you can, just let go and move on

[@IsabellaPiesch]

‼That´s the way it should be! Move on and never look back.

[@isabelolsson1890]

Spot on ❤

[@Bo00si33]

Hi Joe. I'm hoping u can answer this question. I had to force him to let me go bc I involved police, testified and there's been a restraining order since 2020. It expires in December. Should I be worried? could he be plotting?

[@keithsharratt3402]

Yes! "While we plan and dream , they plot and scheme"

[@ratgirl13]

I’m not Joe but I would tell you never let your guard down, if you can continue the restraining order do so especially if you live in the same state- maybe, ask a lawyer. Hope this helps.

[@MrsBungle6174]

I know I'm not Joe, but I thought I'd reply out of experience: Be prepared to record anything he does to get close to you. (Security cams, voice recorders, screenshot on your phone, etc) Even if it seems friendly - record everything. If he does try to come back, go back to the police and push for another restraining order. There has already been a restraining order, so they will have grounds to put it back in place ASAP. If you have any health professionals working with you, explain how you feel and ask them to write a letter/email to police on your behalf, explaining the gravity of the situation, the impact it has had and importance of your safety and mental wellbeing. I hope this helps and I really wish you all the peace and safety that you need, AND deserve! Much love from Scotland ❤️🫶🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

[@MosHigh25]

Definitely be worried and yes he's plotting😢. That's just how they roll baby.

[@MrsBungle6174]

​@@MosHigh25 ​ Please be mindful of your use of words 🙏😢 Your comment might evoke further anxieties..

[@roselakmad]

RUN!!!!😂

[@CherylWebster-h6w]

Can you talk about why the marry so soon after discarding you. He got married three months after the discard. And she is definitely a downgrade...I dont understand. Was it to fill a void?

[@lioubovgrant1935]

It was to piss you off. Say pray to God on your knees , that this was not you he got married to.

[@RandallGlatt]

You were 2 strong. You were grade A. You have self love, self respect, your strong, confident, and smart. What does Narky usually do is what Narky always downgrade to the sure thing weak doormat. Believe Narky loves that strength trait you posses. Narky is always in survival mode takes the sure thing. Narky tries though always wants what they can't have...

[@RandallGlatt]

What is there to understand anyway were talking about mentally ill folks aren't we??

[@Jackmcars12]

@@lioubovgrant1935I had one try and marry on my bday for spite. How it turns out down the road I wonder.

[@JulianotKaren]

Why do they do anything? Because they are insane/evil creeps 🤮

[@octavia9464]

You explained this so well!! This is all so spot on!!!! Thank you!!! 🎉😊

[@honestpainter]

I don’t want her. She’s a liar and a cheater. After the discard I went through my credit card receipt receipts and illegally charged four times on my credit card now she’s facing felony charges in Michigan for wire fraud and identity. Theft 😮

[@MrBeard-ig5zc]

It’s a broken sadistic child. That’s it. There is not a whole person there. You fell in love with a character, A fake persona that was made just for you.

[@IngridDavies-i3i]

My narcissist was confident quite opposite I was totally independent we were not in a relationship as he was damaged by slag ex 8yrs ago so no women since but in out mind games silence had enough bye.

[@romansepiol]

Thank you ❤

[@judithmcdaniel7343]

They need to test themselves.

[@laurabenjamin260]

Luv your channel!

[@glennosborn8400]

Do they always have backup Supply???

[@ladyvirgo013]

Yes

[@goboudou]

Yes

[@ms.k7487]

Always. Even when they met you.

[@ladyvirgo013]

@johannaakra7464 my husband of 12 years moved in immediately with his coworker, He had been grooming her behind my back. Cowards

[@antoinettegorman8833]

Yes

[@1111spiritualone]

would this pertain to toxic people that i’m unsure is a full blown narcissist?

[@joseyndaba5076]

PROFOUND!

[@Flips44]

My ex narc said she didn’t want nothing to do with me so what does that mean then

[@lioubovgrant1935]

This is a good news for you , who the hell cares what it means, nothing good for you for sure, more using and abusing.

[@RandallGlatt]

She presently doesn't. She wanted to destroy you. She's probably giving the new supply all her energy love bombs. If you want her to come back around DON'T chase. And when she does come back around looking to play with her old toy Discard her before she discards. That's how you have fun with narky. Your valuable now...

[@RandallGlatt]

She's projecting her trashy self onto you. "I don't want anything to do with you," like your the scummy one. You got upset in your reaction now Narky feels better your the trashy one. Had you stood your ground and NOT REACTED she would have seen your strength and probably would have love bombed you all over again. Narky knows that the strong confident secure person DOESN'T REACT..

[@ceyciemateo9411]

Don’t believe it

[@Flips44]

@@ceyciemateo9411 ok I won’t no more, thank you for the reply. It means a lot

[@GRIZZYHENDRIX]

Man you need to have classes so someone can call you fam

[@ricksandoval1187]

Have 2 kids with her. Oh well. Gotta focus on slef improvement and making $ now. The kids will need me when grown. I'll be ready.

[@NISI.DOMINUS.FRUSTRA]

ALMOST always is key here. NOT ALWAYS is best.

[@galaxy98765]

I exchanged emails with a man for a couple of years who lives in Europe, so, on the opposite side of the earth from me, which means we never met in person. He wasted NO time in showing me his true colors: he was a "sexual narcissist". You wouldn't believe some of the things he engages in, wants to do, and bragged about. I always figured he had a "sex addition", but didn't know until recently that there is a name for what he is, until I saw an article on "sexual narcissists". Yep, that's him. I don't think he was into anything criminal, but still ..... geez!

[@littleleafyleaf]

I’ve heard of it being referred to as a ‘Somatic Narcissist’ too. Glad you escaped that one!

[@galaxy98765]

@@littleleafyleaf Me, too! Thank you! (I think I will look up "Somatic narcissist").

[@staciacrick3373]

@@littleleafyleaf Somatic narcissists obtain supply through their bodies.

[@Freethnkr]

A golden child narc told me this a long time ago " Whenever you ignore or stop chasing, that's when ppl want your attention." When narcs give advice or ensight, I listen they are telling on themselves and helping me avoid unnecessary issues!

[@lioubovgrant1935]

Finally !!! Its hard to wait when you not posting videos , it seams like i was waiting forever, when it is only a few days 😊. Thank you, now everything is back to normal ! 🤗❤ 17.2K !!! 🍾🥂

[@joebhouse]

🤗