On the eve of the Sears Classic 500, legendary NASCAR coach Dan Amon shares his strategy for driving really fast in circles. More coverage at: www.onion.com
Пікірлер: 1 200
@vk45de543 жыл бұрын
"if they were circular, there'd be no place where they can go straight." this guy knows his shit
@collincaperton67183 жыл бұрын
I mean he has a point
@fighter-yo3di3 жыл бұрын
@@collincaperton6718 Circles don’t have points though
@NiePieerdol3 жыл бұрын
@@fighter-yo3di What? Sure they do, why wouldn't they?
@noobsquad26523 жыл бұрын
@@fighter-yo3di yeah they have an infinite number of points
@darthidiot75633 жыл бұрын
lol
@anchuto6 жыл бұрын
I always find that the best way to win a race is to finish first.
@jesseperez30864 жыл бұрын
If you aint first you're last
@Just_another_turtle4 жыл бұрын
Thank you very much for that advice
@lemo47394 жыл бұрын
Jesse perez second place is just the first loser
@theultimatehuman3 жыл бұрын
It's important to remember that while this may be the most common method used to win, it is not the only one. You could also attempt to win in spirit, or simply have more fun than the other team.
@kellyrowsey26683 жыл бұрын
I’m gonna give that a shot. Thanks anchuto 👍
@AkheirAX10 жыл бұрын
'Is this straight enough' 'Straighter' LMAO
@ibperson77655 жыл бұрын
Abdul Al Amry lol
@nyanpig4304 жыл бұрын
Satire lv.100
@95rav3 жыл бұрын
@Praveen ... unless you are gay.
@markb.humble69453 жыл бұрын
@@95rav no, no, if one is gay, then there is definitely a MAJOR lack of straightness that could be happening.
@MB-cv5pz3 жыл бұрын
I’ve seen gay parades straighter than this racing line!
@LuisCalderon_HN4 жыл бұрын
"Eighteen dead in Damar, Kansas after tornado warning siren set to 'vibrate'" LMAO
@samahita-vca4 жыл бұрын
Only old Onion News can make something like this lol
@violetsterling674 жыл бұрын
This is the funniest part of the whole thing! lol 😄
@bugrilyus3 жыл бұрын
@@samahita-vca nowadays they are not that good enough
@TCt830676953 жыл бұрын
@@bugrilyus no, it's just because reality is too overtly stupid to parody
@gooseman96903 жыл бұрын
Did they die because of the tornado or because the siren caused an earthquake
@351cleavland Жыл бұрын
Having watched Nascar on a few occasions I can say, positively, that the cars do go straight and then suddenly without warning turn left.
@squirrel8185 Жыл бұрын
Well I knew about the Left turn part, but who knew it was so complex as they also had to go fast the same time...
@deadlyqueen7858 Жыл бұрын
I feel as if the turn is often preceded by engine noises personally.
@jtzr13718 ай бұрын
Skill issue. Learn2Nascar
@tyvulpintaur27325 ай бұрын
Though the drivers hate it when their GPS goes out during the race. They get so lost....
@PhillipBell28 күн бұрын
There's a reason that they turn left, it's not unexpected at all. The reason is that's what all the other cars do. You gotta turn left when they all turn left. The hardest thing to do is lead, because you don't know when to turn left, since there are no cars ahead of you. You just got to guess at it. That's why it's so hard to win Nascar.
@NickG408 жыл бұрын
"I like to go fast and turn left sometimes."
@AiOinc13 жыл бұрын
Screw you danica Patrick I'm just as poor and stupid as you are
@joaomarcoscosta46473 жыл бұрын
@@AiOinc1 If you have the intelligence and means to post a full sentence without spelling mistakes on the internet, you are clearly not poor and stupid enough.
@mirkowehrhahne3 жыл бұрын
@@joaomarcoscosta4647 they were quoting south park...
@joaomarcoscosta46473 жыл бұрын
@@mirkowehrhahne I know.
@AiOinc13 жыл бұрын
@Sylar Rogue No, drag racers can go to the left sometimes. It just ends poorly.
@corncornrocks14 жыл бұрын
Sometimes I forget what peddle is go and what one is stop, I respect these athletes for their ability to go fast consistently.
@mikearchibald744 Жыл бұрын
constantly
@datamasked62310 жыл бұрын
"Don't turn left!" "I'm not turnin' left!" "Don't turn left!" "I'm not turnin' left!" "Ok, now turn left!" "I'm turnin' left!" "Now go straight!" "Is this straight enough?!" LMFAO
@THELANKANCOMRADE5 жыл бұрын
Data Masked your flag is the wrong way
@boothe28034 жыл бұрын
VIDURA JAYAWARDENE not if you’re in australia
@Bartooc4 жыл бұрын
Straighter
@andysedgley3 жыл бұрын
If nothing else, I admire your dedication in typing out the lyrics for us 😂
@eydiggah58723 жыл бұрын
SAMIR YOU ARE BREAKING THE CAR
@planetary10911 жыл бұрын
Well you see it's very complicated, because when you turn your steering wheel left, it does two things at once. It moves the wheels to point towards the left, yet it also makes the car turn left, the common mistake people make is that they don't keep their steering wheel pointing left. What you have to do it keep the steering wheel pointed until you have completed the turn. There's a large 2 page manual on how to do this on the internet. Good luck.
@mthf58393 жыл бұрын
Since when is 2 pages considered large for professional-grade manuals
@xavier45193 жыл бұрын
@@mthf5839 there's a large 1 page manual on how to understand 2 page manuals and why they're considered large 2 page manuals, but in general, they're considered large 2 page manuals because they have words in them like a manual does and also instructions and they're hard to read exactly like a manual
@kylewashington18413 жыл бұрын
@@xavier4519 Links God Damn it!
@xavier45193 жыл бұрын
@@kylewashington1841 it's too hard to read you wouldn't understand, just assume you need to turn the wheel until the corner is over and then make the wheel straight until there's another corner
@janelantestaverde20183 жыл бұрын
@@xavier4519 What kind of pages are we talking about here? What size? And are there pictures on them?
@jamiethornton610110 жыл бұрын
Nascar would be such a boring event if they raced on circular tracks. That's why Nascar went all balls out and use oval tracks!
@h1zchan8 жыл бұрын
+jamie thornton Why dont they do Formula 1 style tracks instead?
@GGKevin8 жыл бұрын
+Henrick Likesrabbits They're just called road tracks. NASCAR only has but two on road courses, I believe. They rest are just ovals.
@h1zchan8 жыл бұрын
GGKevin duh.. booooring...
@jimmiechase94854 жыл бұрын
@@zUJ7EjVD @PocoonoRaceway
@samd20134 жыл бұрын
They need to have figure 8 tracks.
@Aqmal343 жыл бұрын
"I'm gonna drive fast and turn left sometimes" - Eric Cartman
@dogwithabeard26123 жыл бұрын
All you need is to be poor and stupid.
@bennett76583 жыл бұрын
@@dogwithabeard2612 tell that to lightning McQueen dickweed
@bennett76583 жыл бұрын
Dulcimer
@lukassnakeman6 жыл бұрын
nascar races should just randomly change the direction of the race. that'd make things interesting
@415705 жыл бұрын
kzbin.info/www/bejne/pmeTn3mMrq9ml6c Watching this one live was hilarious.
@alcoholya4 жыл бұрын
Only commies think this way...
@lowleypeasentmr.l88363 жыл бұрын
@@41570 the video is no longer available what was it about?
@415703 жыл бұрын
@@lowleypeasentmr.l8836 A NASCAR race that incorporated a left turn or two. There were frequent crashes on one left turn in particular, with small lines of cars all plowing into the wall together, lol.
@Fullyautomagic3 жыл бұрын
This is america son
@julianvizio21903 жыл бұрын
Its a joke but man, this is how we in the rest of the world see nascar
@Victoria-ij3cb3 жыл бұрын
Most Americans view it this way too tbh lol
@julianvizio21903 жыл бұрын
@@Victoria-ij3cb And dont get wrong victoria, i love América, but my god, cannot see anything funny about turning 300 times to the left. Its like there is no strategy, or ability. In one turn one passes the other one like 30mph faster and in the next one, the other does the same. Has no logic. The same happens with baseball, ice hockey or even football, and im a rugby fan!
@abramo77003 жыл бұрын
@@julianvizio2190 it’s mostly about endurance and how you plan your next overtake, like if it was just one guy on the track turning left for 30 minutes that would be boring, but trying to get to first place while managing your fuel, tyres, and trying to be defensive and overtake at the same time is pretty difficult and makes for some great races plus the crashes are great too ;)
@jamesonrosen17733 жыл бұрын
This is our punishment for making booze illegal
@mfelix35113 жыл бұрын
As a British F1 fan, I can just laugh at this video, but I'm close to the danger zone.
@aszhara29003 жыл бұрын
This is still how they do things, amazing how far ahead of his time Dan Amon was
@DarthNerd915 жыл бұрын
"Is this straight enough?" "Straighter!" LOL
@NG-gy6iv4 жыл бұрын
When you're fucking your homie in the ass and you only left one sock on
@EYEZACISTRYify3 жыл бұрын
@@NG-gy6iv the left one!
@neilbradley9 жыл бұрын
"Get ready to turn, but not yet!"
@cadettipk7 жыл бұрын
GO STRAIGHT AND GO FAST.
@u.v.s.55833 жыл бұрын
Stop going straight! Now turn left! Now! LEFT! Damn it. Now I need a new driver.
@shaulstrait43133 жыл бұрын
Bad coach he didn't even explain how to stop when the race is over. Does he expect that we could just figure this out on our own????
@zeyzerx37223 жыл бұрын
You’re supposed to stop by crashing and causing a 20 car wreck.
@turnip81843 жыл бұрын
@@zeyzerx3722 thank you I was very confused on the proper protocol
@u.v.s.55833 жыл бұрын
That's why you always need a pro coach near you. He will know the right moment to start slowing down, to slow down, then slowly stop, not abruptly. But to begin slowing down, you must first be reprogrammed. At this particular moment it is wrong to have the gas pedal completely down. In fact, you have to release it, and then move your foot and press down ANOTHER pedal. The amazing thing is that the coach knows where the pedal is, how to find it, how strong to press it and so on. Never ever try to slow down by yourself without supervision of an expert coach. Many have died because they thought, they'd figure this out on their own.
@21stcenturyfossil73 жыл бұрын
You expect him to give up all his secrets in one interview?
@pavarottiaardvark34313 жыл бұрын
You run out of fuel and then it sorta just stops on its own
@medexamtoolsdotcom3 жыл бұрын
How could anyone be such a genius as to figure out a winning strategy in such a complicated competition with such subtlety. It truly is a testament to the human mind and the human spirit and makes me proud to be an American.
@ricegum20225 жыл бұрын
That reporter is one of the best on the Onion. His delivery is hilarious.
@vexivero6 жыл бұрын
I also am glad I got to get a rare treat of an inside glimpse into NASCAR strategy
@TommyAngelo13374 жыл бұрын
"Woman listens to movie scores on her iPod to add gravitas to her life" Relateable
@B104013 жыл бұрын
The onion has our back with these vocabulary refreshers
@FatherManus3 жыл бұрын
I do that with Interstellar's scorem
@cromanticheer3 жыл бұрын
I feel attacked. XD
@mushababduasysyahid51643 жыл бұрын
@@FatherManus me too! Fact
@cloudynguyen65273 жыл бұрын
You know replace "woman" with "man" and "movie scores" to "game ost" and it still stands correct Yes folks, I set Halo ost as alarm ringtone. It just makes waking up more awesome lmao.
@evo25423 жыл бұрын
Back when Nascar was popular enough to even be parodied. Haven't heard of it in a really long time.
@limetwistanimations86283 жыл бұрын
i've heard it's getting a bit more traction these days. nothing amazing but still.
@jacockistitsworth93923 жыл бұрын
@@sailorquestion3229 They weren't talking to that person lmao, the person they were talking about deleted their reply.
@Qtoyghs3 жыл бұрын
@@limetwistanimations8628 Heh. Traction. I see what you did there.
@limetwistanimations86283 жыл бұрын
@@Qtoyghs oh, I didn't actually mean to do that, lol.
@RemixedVoice3 жыл бұрын
I don't think Nascar has lost or gained popularity in a long time. It has always had a strong following in the south and that's about it lol.
@drumnbasssakuga93528 ай бұрын
As a NASCAR fan and sim racer I can confidently say that this is about how well the motorsport is described. It requires a ton of finesse and expertise to be fast around an oval yet it's impossible to find actual guides to basic techniques like throttle control, brake control, and drafting. Also 0:55 is legitimately good advice, knowing the exact spot to turn in is key to running the fastest line, and that changes based on tire wear and air temperature
@MAKUA5D10 жыл бұрын
drive fast and turn to the left sometimes
@Psychicqueen15 жыл бұрын
I'm a NASCAR fan, and I died when he said that the circles were a common misconception. XD
@Astrosisphere Жыл бұрын
I like how the idea of turning right at 1:02 completely brings out the southerner in him!
@Anarchsis2 жыл бұрын
I’m not even a NASCAR fan but I have always been intrigued by the tactics teams use to win races, and coach cleared it up in terms I was able to understand, ‘Go Fast’ who would have thought.
@GIRLAG0G0 Жыл бұрын
2023 and I still laugh everytime I watch this. I always pass it along to anyone who hasn't seen it and send it to my son when he's had a hard day.
@kniknayme98653 жыл бұрын
Thank you Onion . This sport baffled me until you did the interview. Now it kind of make sense. Easy once you know how !
@romansans15819 ай бұрын
As a lifelong NASCAR fan, I can confirm he knows his stuff.
@contextwithjohnmalone Жыл бұрын
Having worked in NASCAR and Indycar for over 25 years, I love this 🤣
@redfishbluefish49733 жыл бұрын
This reminds me of the South Park episode where Cartman was a nascar driver and just talked about left turns in his press conferences.
@supastar258 жыл бұрын
2:00 Expert coaching there lmfao
@okrajoe9 жыл бұрын
The ovals through me off when I first started racing.
@ColHogan-le5yk6 жыл бұрын
okrajoe threw?
@harrybarber32556 жыл бұрын
okrajoe there is just one
@RevZafod6 жыл бұрын
Well, duh, that's why they threw him off, because as a NASTYCAR driver he couldn't count past one!
@cloroxbleach54745 жыл бұрын
@@RevZafod says the dude who not only Sang happy birthday to his wannabe sports car, but also gave the automobile a whole ass birthday cake #bachelorforever
@RevZafod5 жыл бұрын
@@cloroxbleach5474 : Says the jealous guy who can't afford one. And BTW, it was a lovely ceremony, and I've been rewarded since with even more horsepower. Use your name on your own mind to destroy that jealousy, speaking as a retired chemist.
@Coffeepanda29410 ай бұрын
These classics will never grow old.
@flipfloddess99863 жыл бұрын
Even after all these years this is still hilarious
@Leo___________2 жыл бұрын
2022 crew
@exidemontecarlo15 жыл бұрын
I have been a NASCAR fan my entire life, and I have been racing stock cars for a hobby for over 20 years. I think this, like most Onion videos, is hilarious.
@thunderflash8216 жыл бұрын
"18 dead in Damar, Kansas after tornado warning siren set to vibrate" - LOL
@eggsngritstn15 жыл бұрын
The earnest delivery totally sells this. Well done. Well done.
@Leo___________2 жыл бұрын
2022 crew
@RedfishCarolina3 жыл бұрын
I swear this is one of the funniest skits ever recorded.
@johnlocke46953 жыл бұрын
My favourite financial strategy is "Buy Low Sell High" Can't understand why so many people won't just do this.
@RoundenBrown9 жыл бұрын
Good ol' old school Onion!
@slydtsman6 жыл бұрын
Now I've learned all I need to know about the inner workings of NASCAR & it's drivers.
@oldbatwit5102 Жыл бұрын
One of those things that look easy on the tv but you don't realise just how much training goes into it.
@KneelB4Bacon8 жыл бұрын
"Well, the most important point is to drive fast . . ."
@alt_milhouse73383 жыл бұрын
NASCAR : left or dead
@StevieObieYT Жыл бұрын
"Is this straight enough?" "No. Go straighter." - Valuable life lesson right there. Coach has something to teach all of us 😂😂😂
@nascargo19thesecond12 жыл бұрын
"you might could hit them"
@sherif.ghoneim3 жыл бұрын
Legend says he is still "going fast and going straight"
@shivam.maharshi2 жыл бұрын
If someone can please explain that in laymen's terms without all the technical jargon, that would be really appreciated.
@HoneyIEducatedTheWeb14 жыл бұрын
Sometimes I forget what is a car and what is not a car. Sometimes I forget what forget means, and so would think of it as a forgettable experience, if I could stop forgetting about it. You people are geniuses.
@worldsfastestdrummer9 жыл бұрын
Brilliant!!!!
@unincorporated114 жыл бұрын
"If he turns right, then he's gonna drive right into the wall, and all those other drivers are gonna pass him and they're gonna win the race and he's gonna lose and that's not good"... Truer words have never been spoken.
@LastTaboo14 жыл бұрын
...look out the windshield... That's an excellent strategy. If only common drivers used this NASCAR trick.
@rodrigoe.oleapolverg7308 Жыл бұрын
I really like this guy's style, especially when he goes fast! I wonder if he'll use that going fast tactic in the next race, I'm sure they'll definitely win if they do!
@BB-fd2rf3 жыл бұрын
Its more technical than I thought. Hats off to these guys!
@sie4431 Жыл бұрын
It's a lot more complicated than this clip suggests. For example, they didn't even mention breaking and that can be very important
@q12aw50 Жыл бұрын
Not if you just drive fast 😒
@leebatt79643 жыл бұрын
I had no idea nascar was such a complex sport! I never would have thought not steer towards another car because you might could hit it. Genius!
@launch43 жыл бұрын
I look forward to their segment on drag racing.
@NYGGJELEBEITE6 жыл бұрын
I like how they keep at it
@lt96903 жыл бұрын
Like my track coach said ," IF you forget everything else I taught you, stay in front, turn left...." 😆
@ImNotaRussianBot9 ай бұрын
But not always left, sometimes you gotta go straight.
@roymacarthur45613 жыл бұрын
Heard an old interview of Graham Hill asked what his tactics were: "I drive as fast as I can ALL THE TIME"
@unclefestus14 жыл бұрын
@argozempo I know there is a lot to it, especially the part where he's dealing with pedals and turning left. You may have to watch the video again a few times to absorb all that tremendous knowledge, but once you do, you'll know all the best racing strategies in the world.
Right! I love how the Onion commentators completely mock the sense of importance that news shows use to deliver even the most inane topics
@Gerdrako2014 жыл бұрын
I´m an amateur driver, and I dont know if this sound familiar to you but somethimes I confuse left side with right side and its kindda dangerous if you drive fast, I get exited when I see these real pros doing such an amazing job!!!
@blj97935 ай бұрын
Finding an unwatched onion video is like finding a treasure trove.
@SuperOlivess9 жыл бұрын
STRAIGHTER
@gbvfan16 жыл бұрын
"Am I going straight enough?" "Straighter!!" Hahaha...The Onion is brilliant.
@ucimyy4u4 жыл бұрын
One of the best ones yet!
@hudbudmudsud3 жыл бұрын
I love the onion. They provide great news!!
@cam-rod2 жыл бұрын
Leclerc taking notes for the Australian GP
@jburm03058 жыл бұрын
This is classic, Im almost crying this is so funny!
@ibperson77655 жыл бұрын
jburm0305 Yeah it’s one of the best man. So good
@ClearTheRubble715 жыл бұрын
I was always afraid to drive in a NASCAR race, because I didn't know these secrets. This has reduced my fear quite a bit.
@lv-426devasher63 жыл бұрын
A figure-eight track would be amazing! Maybe a loop-de-loop too!
@stephaniecarrow4898 Жыл бұрын
That's something I might actually watch.
@EtzEchad4 жыл бұрын
This guy didn't mention one of the secret strategies that only a few drivers know: there are actually two pedals in a NASCAR race car! It's very important to only press the one on the right. People have lost races by pushing the other one instead.
@matthewklompus84443 жыл бұрын
"UCLA report finds your office romance is never going to happen if you don't wake up early enough to brush your hair"! Phenomenal
@requiem1653 жыл бұрын
This is pure brilliance
@ianmudd13833 жыл бұрын
reading the scroll is the best part
@ConfettiExplosion Жыл бұрын
I treat everything like a race. The drive to work, dinner, sex with my wife. I always finish first. I’m like a professional raceist.
@jamiestewart73273 жыл бұрын
Imma drive real fast and turn left sometimes🤣🤣🤣🤣
@aceboogie89865 жыл бұрын
Everytime im having a crap day i watch the onion its awesome
@hemipemi4 жыл бұрын
It's also great to watch when you're having a crap, period. (and I imagine it's also good if you're having a crap period).
@mitchelkvedar674 Жыл бұрын
An onion clip I haven’t seen omfg
@aflsbrng13 жыл бұрын
i love nascar! my favourite part is when they turn left.
@PrawilnaMordka3 жыл бұрын
The only interesting moments 😂 Be happy that Nascar has turns at all😂
@lordsuperman510013 жыл бұрын
"Its rare to talk to someone who knows so much about nascar".LOL
@KenLinx3 жыл бұрын
1:20 Not gonna lie this kinda blew my mind. I always wondered why there were no circular tracks ever.
@moravianlion31083 жыл бұрын
This never gets old
@SuperOlivess9 жыл бұрын
One of the most LMAO onion videos I"ve seen>
@imAnF18nBiWinning6 жыл бұрын
This one is good too. kzbin.info/www/bejne/bJO0oZqLa5yDq9E
@windyman5610 жыл бұрын
1:20 someone obviously never has heard of Langley. you're never going straight at that track. ;)
@aj_theshark9 жыл бұрын
I'm pretty sure they actually know nothing about NASCAR. But this is still funny as heck.
@dill66889 жыл бұрын
Gator Jeaux I love nascar, but I find this hilarous
@landoflogic1076 жыл бұрын
Langley? Try Langhorne before it got paved. It was nicknamed the Big Left Turn, as its a circle
@Ziggy_Moonglow3 жыл бұрын
Langley? 0.400 mile paved oval and yes, you do go straight there, unless you have your car setup completely loose for drifting or just missed the setup really bad..
@requiett2 жыл бұрын
The Onion has the most professional news anchors in the industry.
@theintelligentcow74473 жыл бұрын
This is one of the best Onion news titles ever
@repressedtears85683 жыл бұрын
LMAO sounds like eric cartman
@VPCh.3 жыл бұрын
As someone who has never watched Nascar before, this honestly seems legit.
@arjunashtekar.15622 жыл бұрын
Oversimplification is an underestimated form of satire
@napoleonibonaparte71983 жыл бұрын
The same as "Don't be last".
@madmax4109415 жыл бұрын
"Is this straight enough?" "No, STRAIGHTER"
@ccricers15 жыл бұрын
When I play Forza 2 online, I know most people don't really want to play the boring Nissan Speedway track unless they want to goof around in it and bump cars, drive backwards, etc. I feel the same way with how I look at Nascar races.
@Koffiato3 жыл бұрын
11 years later and I'm wondering you started appreciating it or that effect is permanent.
@harrihaffi27133 жыл бұрын
I’ve learned soooo muuuuch!!!
@JBLAKIE112 жыл бұрын
@DeadFishFactory dont turn right because of the wall but dont turn left too soon or you'll end up in the grassy area. just keep goin straight and fast.