Navigating Dating Apps As A Trans Woman

[@blusau8561]

I'm listed as a trans woman on the dating app I use, but I was getting so many guys messaging me without reading my profile. So, I added "Let me know you read my entire profile when you message me". Not perfect, but It helps.

[@SophiaAGreene]

Great idea thx!

[@dnjj1845]

What site are you on? Do you know how difficult it is in reverse for a man to reach people like you? It's all scams and dead profiles.

[@blusau8561]

@@dnjj1845 I'm on POF.

[@cathnbabs]

I didn't meet a serial killer myself but my friend did. A serial killer and serial rapist looking for desperate trans girls and my friend did meet those criteria. Fortunately, things turned out okay as he made the mistake of inviting me over... maybe my friend had lost her utility and he was ready to move on... but I didn't take any of that BS and invited my martial art teacher to join the fun. Intuition is a real thing, I didn't know he was a serial killer and I got my friend out of there just in time for a police report and he's in prison now. Just be careful out there.

[@MalibuBarbiieDelish]

@@cathnbabs omg that’s terrifying! So glad everything turned out alright

[@cathnbabs]

@@MalibuBarbiieDelish a scary story that happens to be true... but I had the chance to save someone and take back my power for the times I was sexually assaulted and could do nothing but close my eyes.

[@Blaumagier]

I'm glad my wife stayed with me after my transition. The dating scene these days seems terrifying, especially for trans women. Though I suppose its probably a little less scary as a trans lesbian.

[@MalibuBarbiieDelish]

@@Blaumagier that’s amazing! I wouldn’t know about trans lesbians tbh I imagine they have a whole different bunch of struggles

[@Blaumagier]

@@MalibuBarbiieDelish Different, but I think the struggles are very similar. I think the threat of physical violence is much less for trans lesbians than it is for straight trans women, but I think our bigger issue is that lesbian chasers absolutely exist and they tend to get a pass by most because they are queer, unlike straight chasers.

[@furonguy42]

The "HER" app is pretty good - in short, its basically the lesbian equivalent of Grindr, and the people who run the app have been _very_ vocally supportive of trans and non-binary people and have even pushed messages through to the app telling users that they will not tolerate transphobia. Although the primary user-base is gay or bisexual women/enbies, the app does also feature the options to set a profile up for straight and/or male-identifying people, so everyone is welcome on it (except transphobes!)

[@christinalloyd9566]

I met my partner on Match. He was the first person to contact me. After years of getting nowhere on free dating sites saying I was trans, I gave up with disclosing that and I didn't mention it at all on Match. My boyfriend has never once asked me if I'm trans and I've never told him. I know he knows but its never been mentioned once in 5 years we have been together. I had given up completely on ever finding someone and feel so lucky to have him. I think he's lucky too. :)

[@MalibuBarbiieDelish]

@@christinalloyd9566 Awwh that is so lovely 💜

[@NikkolasGaskins-pi8me]

@@MalibuBarbiieDelish I’ve never had any chance of finding love due to my disability and age

[@virginiefizaine1724]

That is nice and sad at the same time. I bet being trans is a big part of your life journey that came with a lot of torment. You should be able to mention it to your SO. As any big life event. Also this is kind of weird that you never talked about it.

[@searchingstuff]

@@virginiefizaine1724 That's not the type of relationship they have. Relationships aren't Hollywood where a partner is 'your everything'. Sometimes you take what you get in life and are satisfied with that.

[@christinalloyd9566]

@@virginiefizaine1724 In my experience every time I have told someone I was trans I wished I hadn't. With people I knew before transition obviously I had no choice but I lost every single family member and every single friend. People I came out to who didn't know me from before transition all dropped me once they had satisfied their morbid curiosity and nosey questions. So yeah outing yourself as trans is a sure fire way to total depression and misery so I don't tell anyone in real life. Haven't for years. Fun, fun fun!

[@strawd4]

Thank you for sharing your experience 💛 Girl your hair looks so good! You inspired me to start looking into a hair transplant

[@MalibuBarbiieDelish]

@@strawd4 Awwh thank you 🖤 I’m so glad I did it, worth the money!

[@kokojo4872]

Just got in break up, so scared but want to learn what I can do when I'm not hurting so bad.

[@MalibuBarbiieDelish]

@@kokojo4872 time will heal 🩷

[@ccckmp]

lovely hair

[@MalibuBarbiieDelish]

@@ccckmp thank you ❤️

[@LB_adventurer]

I think apps needs to add things like pre-GRS and post-GRS, and as for Genders is should have a searching for and selection... As well they should have sexual orientation at least on like 5 levels of physical body types for attraction: (attracted to:) Female, Flexible-Female leaning, Bi, Flexible-Male leaning, Male... just so you can hit the physical range you are attracted too. It's always such a complication as to how far you lean into the physical part because then it gets hyper-focused and turns into a hook-up app which most of them are anyways. And with so many men on the dating apps it's a minefield. I've been banned on Tinder because someone reported me after I rejected him.. and that seems to have propagated across everything owned by Match

[@MalibuBarbiieDelish]

@@LB_adventurer That is probably a good idea tbh yes. I’ve also been banned from apps after similar situations, idk why they don’t just read the messages and see what actually happened.

[@Ayyylien51]

​@@MalibuBarbiieDelish Wouldn't that be an invasion of privacy though? Maybe instead they should just have a suspension sorta thing then you select what you can from messages for an appeal?

[@MalibuBarbiieDelish]

@@Ayyylien51 I feel like as owners of the app they should be able to check when people make accusations, otherwise anyone can say anything and get them banned. But I suppose that is why they don’t idk.

[@missm10]

i've had no luck with dating apps, but i think that's more because i've had lots of trauma to unpack (as well as working to leave the uk). finding someone who shares the same goals for their own reasons and will date a trans person is pretty much impossible. sigh.

[@MalibuBarbiieDelish]

@@missm10 it’s always hard to find people with similar goals but don’t give up hope! 🩷

[@ericortega1745]

I asked a woman (trans) out. She said no. If I ask her out again will I look desperate?. Im really not trying to hit and quit. Any suggestions?

[@MalibuBarbiieDelish]

@@ericortega1745 sometimes it takes a bit of persistence! I didn't want to go out with my boyfriend at first now here we are 3 years later 😂

[@user-kc3fn1gu6g]

Malibu .i love your hair. X

[@MalibuBarbiieDelish]

@@user-kc3fn1gu6g thank you 🖤

[@madeline_alice]

really enjoyed this conversation about dating apps! i’m not currently looking but it’s heartening to hear that we are being considered and included in the design of these. would be interested to hear what ppl think about the huge increase of interest in trans porn and how that is showing up in these apps. why are we being fetishized so much now? is it the forbidden, what society is currently panicking about?

[@MalibuBarbiieDelish]

@@madeline_alice maybe now that it’s more acceptable in society more people are interested in us sexually, I hadn’t heard about this but who knows 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@john-se4ox]

I would love to meet a transgender woman

[@john-se4ox]

I'm ready to meet a transgender woman I get really loving

[@PetraBrown]

If someone refuses to recognise me as transgender, they must be so obtuse and or very religious Barbie❤ from Petra

[@Rozzia]

I'm done with dating apps ❤

[@MalibuBarbiieDelish]

@@Rozzia fair enough it’s not for everyone 💚

[@Rozzia]

@@MalibuBarbiieDelish yeah it is not for me definitely. I would rather go out and meet with people. Even though it can be harder. Btw I love your contact ❤️💖

[@NikkolasGaskins-pi8me]

@@MalibuBarbiieDelish people don’t want to date me because they don’t like my age

[@MalibuBarbiieDelish]

@@NikkolasGaskins-pi8me 😂 you are young honey

[@skeeter7363]

You are a very beautiful girl 💗💗💗💗💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@metatechnologist]

Very good and useful video thank you.

[@LiamODonovan-l6e]

You are a stunning woman. malibu, your boyfriend, found a goddess

[@mitchpalmer5116]

Don't people meet the old fashioned way anymore?...in Bars. 😅

[@MalibuBarbiieDelish]

@@mitchpalmer5116 of course it’s possible but like I said it’s more than likely just going to be a hook up meeting that way

[@mitchpalmer5116]

@@MalibuBarbiieDelish I was joking. 🙂

[@madsec1]

im fine whit people be trans the thing i hate is 60 years dudes that are hairy and say they are a litte girl inside thats just creep vibe ( to all that live the trans life good for you all i love you take good care