5 cold opens that perfectly sum up Hitchcock | Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Sometimes we seriously wonder how on the earth Hitchcock is still alive.
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ABOUT BROOKLYN NINE-NINE
"Brooklyn Nine-Nine" follows the exploits of hilarious Det. Jake Peralta (Andy Samberg) and his stoically ever-professional captain, Raymond Holt (Andre Braugher), along with their diverse, lovable colleagues as they police the NYPD's 99th Precinct. In this final season of the series, Jake and the squad must try to balance their personal lives and their professional lives over the course of a very difficult year.
Rounding out the ensemble is Sgt. Amy Santiago (Melissa Fumera), who has a passion for organization and a weakness for dork dancing; Lt. Terry Jeffords (Terry Crews), a mountain of a man whose most powerful muscle is his sweetheart; Jake's best friend and human puppy dog, Det. Charles Boyle (Joe Lo Truglio); and the incredibly secretive, tough-as-nails Rosa Diaz (Stephanie Beatriz). Also part of the Nine-Nine are veteran officers Det. Scully (Joel McKinnon Miller) and Det. Hitchcock (Dirk Blocker), whose only skill as police officers is their ability to make a passable pot of coffee.
Created by Emmy Award-winning writer/producers Dan Goor and Michael Schur, "Brooklyn Nine-Nine" won the 2014 Golden Globe Awards for Best Television Series - Comedy or Musical and Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Comedy or Musical (Samberg). Emmy winner Braugher earned four Emmy nominations for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series for his role as Capt. Holt.
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[@PrimRooks]

Alternate title: Jake seeing Murphy’s Law in action for 3 minutes

[@vic5015]

It truly is.

[@kermitine]

Everything that can go wrong will go wrong lmao

[@therealwilldalbey]

To be fair, two of these just made no sense in how they went wrong.

[@jazzinikki01]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@StrifeAiray]

The fact that Hitchcock chewed his goldfish without realizing it makes me worried about the other things he's possibly accidentally eaten.

[@vic5015]

Ikr?

[@srenrasmussen3178]

Who said he didn’t realized

[@isaacpardue8323]

Cement

[@maxxh5331]

@@isaacpardue8323 That one was Scully.

[@jessicastrike5640]

Honorary mention for Boyle's STD cold open, Hitchcock's line at the end sums him up brilliantly

[@primalthunder3968]

“Wait, HE’S DROWNING HE’S DROWNING!!” Rosa: *Take it back, great prank*

[@NeddyMontz]

0:24 Terry: Save him, man!

[@noahhaupt5343]

I like to think while Hitchcock drank his goldfish Scully was also putting fish food in his own lemonade for flavor

[@kagari64]

What I love about #4 is preventing an old detective from spilling anything on himself all day is referred to as a suicide mission

[@williammarroush3851]

"Theyre 👏 not 👏 here👏!" God i love them.

[@CoolDude-ts2hc]

The best part about this is honestly how Rosa started off finding joy in Hitchcock's suffering, and then way way later on she started actually seeing him as a friend, or at least cares enough about his well-being to not want to see him be hurt.

[@johnswanson2600]

I love that at 1:32 you can see the crash mat that Scully lands on move

[@NeddyMontz]

1:34 - 1:37 “Lightweight” “That’s your takeaway?” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@teslaromans1023]

How did I not notice !?

[@MrProjecthalo]

That said, birthday one was my favorite. "We're both geniuses!" "PFFFT" "Thumbtack mug... that was my thumbtack mug."

[@ShadowMage-]

I'm so glad the goldfish one got #1. It's my favorite

[@ma133ha_99]

When I’m convincing my friends to watch b99 I’ll just show them this

[@maryamabid9616]

#4 is literally the best, right after Tell me why

[@derekdeichert]

dfw had such a good cold open for such an underwhelming episode

[@nagmamahalbalagtas]

Aint nothing but a heartache

[@arob2477]

No

[@liamneedsome9837]

Best friend passes out. Hitchcock: "Lightweight".

[@surajpydipalli4423]

#1 always cracks me up! It's hilarious 😂

[@vic5015]

"Hitchcock just drank the goldfish." "What? Nooooooo!"

[@christoffellouis2440]

finally some love for Hitchcock

[@gudduentertains]

❤

[@starlighter191]

1:35 so relatable

[@Psiros]

#2 was the best one 😂

[@gauthamramesh3373]

How did the flashback to 1986 of Young Hitchcock and Scully not make the top five? "As Wuntch says when she sees deodorant, I'm not buying this"

[@itsyaboiskyler2519]

Oooh you should do this for all characters

[@vic5015]

I'm sure they could come up with something.

[@jayanthooda1202]

Plot twist : HITCHCOCK IS A LEGEND......He knew that Jake's hand ✋✋ in the bowl and Shoe lace prank are below par and outdated ,so to make things interesting he acts as if he was drowning and was strangled by shoe laces. 😁

[@Calekoflight]

I uhh...that's plausible.

[@LegosAreFood]

Nine-Nine!!

[@predatr07]

Nine Nine!!!

[@onezzzavillain6935]

A-NOINE NOINE!!!

[@Muscleman3442]

Nine-nine

[@onezzzavillain6935]

@@Muscleman3442 yoooo Scully supp how ya doin with Hitchcock

[@franklinclinton2701]

Nine nine

[@calebsoria1777]

I know Jake said two outcomes and Rosa immune diste one but I had 7 With those guys anything can happen 1.-3 were theirs 4. Scully slips his jar and spills lemonade on either Hitchcock or scully 5. Hitchcock slips it and tje fish dyes with losing water or they try to pick it up but step on it. 6. They drop either glass and Hitchcock cuts himself like always 7.scully puts lemonade un hitchockd goldfish.

[@NeddyMontz]

2:40 Rosa: Hitchcock just drank his own fish. Jake: WHAT!? NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@snarf9342]

RIP Captain Holt 😢😢😢😢

[@dariusalexander8985]

1:58 SERIOUSLY HOW?!

[@juanpataquiva2981]

"No more alimony babyyyy!!"

[@Jabariemoore]

Hitchcock is a legend

[@estaticethan1752]

Number 3 had to be one of my favorite cold open.

[@viniciusgmachado1204]

Dirk Blocker is my absolute #1 favorite actor on this show. _Love_ him.

[@qua9]

This was just utterly wonderful and I couldn't stopped laughing.

[@Michael.Sandoval33]

"That's your takeaway" gets me every time.

[@globbyakaweirdjellyguy954]

Love #3! 🤣 Can’t believe Hitchcock isn’t showing any concern for Scully.😆

[@alm2587]

the best part abt the second one is it wasn’t even necessary, he could have just changed his shirt right before

[@joshuapascual4599]

"LIGHTWEIGHT" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[@greganderson1070]

There👏not👏here👏 🤣🤣🤣

[@onezzzavillain6935]

A-NOINE NOINE!!!

[@darthmaul1841]

Just started watching this show, glad I’ve found the light.

[@maromalul9134]

NINE NINE!

[@vladtheimpaler9577]

I love how the music gets more intense with every sentence.

[@renatocorvaro6924]

I knew the fumigation scene would be in here.

[@predatr07]

Yay

[@MrProjecthalo]

COld opens are what I miss most about this show.

[@stephieirene1]

So much to unpack: 1-is Hitchcock dumber than Scully and I'm just realizing it? 2-Hitchcock WOULD be holding an open jar of marinara in each hand 1:11; 3-Hitchcock claps his brags 1:21; 4 - 0:30 is the best Rosa Diaz smile in B99 history, thanks to Hitchcock; and, there's more, but I'm still stunned by Rosa's smile at 0:30.

[@Thefoxthatbecameawolf]

The 4° one is one of my favorites

[@maicksalas680]

hitchcock best detective, 99

[@maxfieldjoyner5244]

Wait, these five cold are 3 minutes long COMBINED????? HOWWWW????

[@calebsoria1901]

I get Jake was having character development but have you learn nothing from previously pranking him

[@vic5015]

#3 is great!

[@pokefan213]

with scenes like these it makes it impossible to remember these 2 oafs were able to make a labour room for Amy to deliver her baby in comfortably lol

[@ndirangugichuki6260]

"guys guys ..." 😂😂

[@nurulainazman3107]

The 4th cold open has always been my favourite cold open

[@gigin6534]

To this day, I still haven't understand the warm water prank

[@connorwilliams5785]

That's your takeaway?

[@PetitNioc]

Flat Top and The Freak are the best!

[@bushidotestu1997]

The man is the human form of melted ice cream

[@CJG_10]

#4 is too funny😂😂😂😂😂

[@Gusior]

Jakey

[@bakhithajoseph5999]

Number 4 is funny 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@joncalsci2224]

Brooklyn nine nine was the best tv show why did you end it?

[@gurengamer9053]

Because it's better end it when is good, not losing taste.

[@MaximumCareer]

As a thirty-something year old man... he's 38 years old, you have to take it easy on him is both insulting and horribly depressing

[@MaximumCareer]

Seriously though.... Like... He's not 38

[@MaximumCareer]

If he's 38 Im Scarlett Johansson

[@MaximumCareer]

I'm legitimate now questioning my success compared to Hitchcock..

[@MaximumCareer]

Sure.... It's a fictional character... But the fact that a writer thought "oh yea that lazy incompetent old guy... Probably in his thirtys" and nobody disagreed makes me aware of my apparent lack of anything

[@joshfactor1]

wait, how did the bowl of water go from his hand to his face & how did the laces end up around his neck?

[@emmaray6215]

He probably mistook the water for cereal and tried to sleep eat it. But I got absolutely no explanation for the shoelaces.

[@shakeandjake_1]

👏They’re 👏 not👏here

[@georgeprchal3924]

"You are 38 years old dude!"

[@ryderTheHedgehog2004]

That operation"keep hitchcock dry." Is a perfect opening

[@MJ-tz2cs]

where's the cold open with young hitchcock and scully??

[@raveenjaya5573]

Jeena realizing" this is not gonna end well"😂

[@ptptpt123]

Plot twist: Hitchcock was pranking Jake That is the only explanation

[@Shrewdless]

What about “l have an STD" ?

[@reynoldstheoplis94]

the number 2 was funny

[@junli5977]

👻Capricorn白无常 is the Best friend of Big Dipper黑无常👹

[@jaxon_the_nerd]

Lol

[@turdferguson1989]

Wait we can say labia again?

[@austinsalzwedel1306]

Why did Hitchcock Dirk his own fish

[@Maraxus]

Missed the one of Hitchcock still sucks, that one gets his personality in its entirety!

[@vivianaespinoza5281]

Baby Sylvester-you’ll be lost in time like in some horrible tv cartoon

[@Aaron-MackHartford]

Somehow Jake prank seem to almost kill Hatchcock.

[@arnonym42]

XD

[@monsterjambrony]

Hitchcock is the oldest guy is the police department, right?

[@pfilipin]

Nummer 4*😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@GLBizzie]

I hated Hitchcock tbh. Especially during season 7/8