Nerd³ Plays... Tomb Raider

[@freewillize]

What kind of eyeliner is Lara using (in the PC version) that it can stay perfect despite all the shit that happens to her and her face? Because I want that eyeliner.

[@frozencheetos]

"back in my day we had to solve puzzles" priceless!

[@gferrol118]

Back in my day tomb raider actually contained tomb raiding

[@worldwar2nerd620]

Tell me more Gand pa

[@sirmacguffin8371]

grand pas sleeping now

[@suspectsn0thing]

WORTH IT FOR PONYTAIL PHYSICS!!!

[@BerserkDeathlord]

Every Tomb Raider game made by Square Enix has ponytail psychics.

[@jgs4290]

+BerserkDeathlord Except for TR1, they didn't have the tech for it so she had a little hair bun.

[@Gideon_the_Seraph]

Pony tail psychics? Cool, I wanna see a ponytail that's also a psychic.

[@gavinandre7078]

Original had ponytail physics

[@chlover3608]

@@gavinandre7078 original didnt have a ponytail outside of fmvs

[@dremanE67]

11:56 "We didnt penetrate their armor!" "That one bounced!" "We didnt even scratch them!"

[@mattd6931]

The first tomb you come across, the 'puzzle' is light the three bags on fire on the platform so it rises and you can jump to the part you need. The second tomb puzzle is throw stuff onto the platform until it drops, so you can chuck the stuff off it, and jump onto it as it rises to jump to the platform you need. And the 'highlight' shows the exact things you need to manipulate. She even TELLS you what you have to do if you listen. Hardly riveting stuff compared to the OLD Tomb Raider's.

[@rectaalborween8471]

ah,videogames,the problem is on cutscenes,in gameplay you get shooted 9 times in head and you dont die,then why the fuck in cutscenes only one shot and you die?

[@EarFarce4]

Yeah I just bought this and Dan's commentary is spot on.

[@sparten16782]

"Yay! I killed something! I'm a cold blooded killer!" *cutscene* "Oh. time to be sad... AAAAAWWWWWWW I killed food!"

[@Razzlewolfflight]

This game is just a, "How needlessly complicated can we make these escapes?" simulator.

[@Atychiphobe]

I enjoyed this game, but it fails hard as a Tomb Raider.

[@aaronjones2k13]

Thank you for helping me sleep, I thought I was the only one in the entire comment section that wasn't a Tomb Raider fanboy that can't admit that it's bad. Now I know why Dan doesn't like the comment section.

[@keenanirwin6702]

I would've liked this game if they simply didn't call it a Tomb Raider game.

[@YerfdogGames]

Ye. They should of just called it 'Adventures of Lara Croft' or something like that.

[@Emilforpresident]

+YerfdogGaming No nothing to do with tomb raider like they could of changed a couple of names and the title and i wouldnt fucking notice since its a modern day game thats apparently wants to be a movie

[@MrL0WEL]

I would've liked this game if it were any other game.

[@obscure.reference]

+YerfdogGaming The joke The moon The upper atmosphere 747 flight altitude Mount Everest Tallest building in the world Your head

[@earthy8886]

Nah literally just call I Lara Croft and it would be fine

[@alexfido2935]

This video is two years old today... sheesh.

[@spaindijanta4873]

and now nearly five year old

[@zakethekid1333]

@@spaindijanta4873 fuck me

[@anthonyskela]

I have tomb raider and I don't care for how lara can take getting hurt in ways that would cripple or kill people to.

[@NeoMorphUK]

Actually the game improved shortly after the point where you left the game, Dan. You start to find more and more tombs and stuff and the reason behind the island storm. I also wasn't impressed at the beginning but by the end I loved it.

[@heros1812]

He proboley played through the game and just went to the beggning for the review

[@Tismeabbie]

Yeah no it doesn't.... tombs shouldn't be optional in a tomb raider game! It's COD with a tiny bit of exploration thrown in

[@TXFDA]

@@Tismeabbie I see no reason to make the tombs mandatory. I know it's Tomb Raider.... But if the puzzle tombs are still there, and people that don't want them can skip them, what's it even matter? I mean, don't get me wrong, I agree that the reboot trilogy really isn't Tomb Raider. It's actually just "Uncharted Featuring Lara Croft". But they're still good games. They're just bad Tomb Raider games.

[@pontusgustav2631]

i wonder if the 4th tomb raider game will be named tomb raider 2 XD

[@TXFDA]

Started Rise of the Tomb Raider, and damn, they have nearly identical intros. Only difference is Rise is in snow. Honestly they should have just called this "Not Uncharted: Boobs Edition"

[@natesgamingtoday]

The reason why there are not a ton of exploration it's because this is Lara's beginning but I have a feeling the sequels will be more like the older ones even though I loved this game

[@davenortin3868]

Personally i don't think this is a tomb raider game at ALL

[@xLurycz]

A soldier will only treat his own injury if necessary (That would be if he's alone). If a medic isn't nearby a team mate or two will take care of him until one arrives.

[@Hadgerz]

"a modern thing where it's _ooh she's vulnerable!_" Yeah...the thing is, this QTE-mashing Tumblr Feminist Simulator 2013 game spends a lot of time showing men giving their lives for Lara and other men trying to kill Lara and painting Lara as a pure hero and not enough time showing Lara doing actual heroic things. She kills a couple henchmen and a couple of wolves and saves her useless 1-dimensional friends (yes at one point Sam actually lampshades herself by saying 'why does lara get all the fun!' as she swings a gun turret around like a child), but sure, a -sociopath- survivor is born or something...yay progress.

[@Nygaard2]

First time I really, really disagree with Nerd3. But maybe it's because I never played the original puzzle Tomb Raider. This is a fantastic game.

[@KKmanmi]

Just because someone has an opinion doesn't mean people automatically have to agree with it. Dane was sharing HIS opinion.

[@trfandom250]

Pretty much my exact feelings about this new lara

[@Rithorn]

*reads comment section* SO THIS IS WHY HE TURNED OFF THE COMMENTS! EVERYONE DOWN HERE IS A MORON! Now it all makes sense.

[@caitlinsmith351]

yeah,he just WANTS to turn them off. Rithorn.

[@Epicface48]

walls:the best medical discovery to video game characters EVER!

[@thatpenguinkid]

So much hate, it makes me sad. I personally enjoyed the game and got really focused into finding every piece of salvage to upgrade my equipment and going for the 100% completion. So I was happy with it especially when it's only the second Lara Croft game I ever played, first one being underworld, yes yes not my fault, I was born in 97 so was exactly the right age to play the earlier games, not my fault for being born too late, also I was rocking Underworld on the Wii when I was 12 so lets just say I didn't get too invested into that game. All that considered this was my first real Lara Croft game which I absolutely loved, which made it uncomfortable to watch this review, although all of Dan's criticisms were valid the one thing that annoyed me in the review was the obvious flaw... it's a game... what did you expect to happen. Rather than look for the negatives, I prefer to play the game it was meant to be played, that's the way it was designed, that's the way you'll get the most enjoyment out of it, simple.

[@synnaryan371]

Its not a bad game, but its not like the older versions which was in my "opinion" the original was way better minus the graphics

[@CyniSchism96]

He just doesn't like the inconsistencies. He says it at the end, there are cutscenes and QTEs that show Laura getting absolutely destroyed and she literally walks it off, but when her friend takes the same beating, he's dying.This is a good game, but it's not a Tomb Raider game. This looks and feels completely different to the originals and that is why he doesn't like it.

[@Darsh0019]

press f to pay respect

[@Glennkabob]

She is an immortal god

[@clawdywins11]

Though I can see Dan's point in this video, I fucking loved this game. Watching this video just detracted from the experience.

[@lil_blue2984]

I think its funny how many people are saying this one is bad,the creators made Legend, which was the most critically acclaimed one since Tomb Raider 2.Different or not, this one is still fun. Just like people complaining about Dead Space 3 just because it was more action focused. I was never scared by Dead Space, so it was great

[@bul13ts]

I'll make up a myth too! The clouds are the spirits of those who have died. When lightning strikes, the spirits are seeking a sacrifice and one must be burnt alive to appease them. If a man is struck by lightning and survives, he becomes a spirit guide, chosen by the Windman, who leads the spirits across the sky. This is fun!

[@savions4005]

There are tombs in this game, if only he had play further

[@somebody2818]

Fuck off.

[@savions4005]

SomeRandomPerson k

[@mortemox3892]

I personally loved this game...there are puzzles literally 10 minutes from the end of this video

[@alfinandy1612]

+WHY NOT SKATE EVERYWHERE The fact that there will be a puzzle 10 minutes from the video proves his point

[@mortemox3892]

Alfin Andy Haha i guess so

[@TXFDA]

Thing that always gets me about the reboot series... Uncharted was initially called a Tomb Raider clone. I remember it. But now, Tomb Raider is an Uncharted clone. It did the Guitar Hero Rock Band thing. Where Rockband was essentially Guitar Hero but with a band, then Guitar Hero went and turned into Rock Band.

[@Superman-vc7fx]

This game would've been so much better, if only it was named "Lara Croft" or somewhere in those lines. You raid like six tombs, and they're just little caves that incorporate simple puzzle solving (which you could just give the finger by pressing LB like a cheap prick). Furthermore, the tombs are all optional. Granted, I did like this game. But it wasn't the Tomb Raider experience that I wanted it to be at all. Along my playthrough I just taught myself to call her 'Laura' and forget that this is a Tomb Raider game at all. ^_^

[@GameRender100]

Kal El With the return of DOOM in its amazing classic form (except with jumping and vertical sight... impossibru), perhaps some of the oldies will be revived.

[@MrShawno1231]

***** After Wolfenstein: The New Order, I'm pretty sure that you can guarantee that the DooM reboot will be awesome!

[@GameRender100]

***** Damn straight. Just a classic shoot-em-up. Still have the original on a disk somewhere.

[@tomerhanan3501]

+MrShawno1231 it's meh.

[@NorwegianVikingSon]

basically the same shit far cry 3 did. "ooooo... loooook, he's feeling stuuuuuff.." no, i don't feel that he does.

[@nootkarose2723]

Dan, you are so refreshing. I don't hear many other voices in the world of video games making comments about: a.) the rampant sexism; or b.) the complete lack of compassion from most characters upon killing people

[@madeline1815]

The reason I like this game is because I like cover-shooters/shooters, not really into exploration games that much.

[@Shevlander]

Tomb raider. Huger games addition

[@chocobobafett6187]

+Shevlan d *Oliver Queen Edition

[@marceltroscianko]

+Shevlan d Tinier Tournament Subtraction.

[@VanguardFencer]

I wish you'd play Shadow Warrior 2013. Now there's a reboot thats pretty good. No QTEs, no unskipable cutscenes. Theres Lo Wang, a sword, a ton of bloody demons. Also pistol, uzis, shotgun, rocket launcher, flamethrower etc. You can carry ALL of em at once.

[@cammackk]

I agree with Dan the way that Lara is represented doesn't go with the game play. Eg, I killed someone I'm a horrible person. Two seconds later , KILL EVERYONE IN SIGHT WITHOUT GIVING A CRAP!

[@seamoose1731]

Lara Croft said later that it was scary just how easy it was to kill people

[@joeltornlund4061]

Dan, who cares if the game is bad or if its not a tomb raider game anymore? Its all about the gramphics!

[@HollyGamingBC]

Correct , its all about the GRAMPHICS

[@joeltornlund4061]

holygamingbc Yup

[@TheSDD101]

Got to have them gramphics

[@travisgreenfield909]

Joel Törnlund well sometimes its not there are really good games with bad gramphics and there are really bad games with good gramphics

[@trfandom250]

+Joel Törnlund Graphics by them self do not make a game. It's a combination of how the graphics are used and the complexity of the game play that determines if a game is good or not.

[@Welcho]

2 minutes into this and I was crying with laughter. I lost it at "Butlins" XD

[@redrj]

This vid in a nutshell: grumblegrumble its different therefore it sucks grumblegrumble

[@WarmFizzyMilk]

***** Did you not watch the video? I agree with Pedro

[@wabuk97]

TheBudworth no recon bear is right. "its different therefore it sucks" yeah so everything dan said was a load of shit is basically what your saying totally ignoring him. maybe watch the video first bro, then you'd see pedros wrong

[@WarmFizzyMilk]

wabuk97 I watched the video and the all I heard throughout it was 'This is Tomb Raider, it's not like the other ones so it is automatically bad'

[@matthewdover6468]

TheBudworth How about the fact that the game tries to show her as fragile, but she was shown to be able to endure being stabbed, beaten, bitten by a wolf and shot multiple times, and didn't need to use anything like bandages, while a man who was bitten by a wolf, was dying and needed a bandage, so when the game tried to portray her as fragile, it didn't seem to work considering how she was able to put up with all that punishment.

[@WarmFizzyMilk]

Matthew Dover bearing in mind this Tomb Raider game is a prequel, this is Lara before she knew could any of these things. Also there are multiple points in the game where Lara has to stitch herself up. She was only shown as fragile at the start of the game, the further you get, the more of a badass she becomes.

[@PintOfJinnes]

My friend loves this game and calls it a "great Tomb Raider game". I have since disowned him

[@XTorinX]

+DJ PON3 Same.

[@lennyfortress9788]

+XTorinX ?

[@XTorinX]

+lenny fortress ?

[@dylanbuford6512]

Yeah, but if he's never played the original Tomb Raider games he wouldn't know better.

[@Keichwoud357]

Real mature.

[@wolfpackq2321]

back in my day we actually solved puzzles

[@morpheusinvictus9393]

best review of this fake TR game i seen good job Nerd³

[@XenoWalkerEVE]

Lol typical fanboys

[@Lmaohaxor]

I agree, and the game is quite fun when you take a closer look

[@TheSmellyUnfortunate]

This isn't Tomb Raider. This is just awful. Where are the tombs, and why are we not raiding them?

[@Omfgwhtavid]

Such a crappy game it's not even funny.

[@DavidNancyTom]

are you arguing that doing nothing and having 10 bullet wounds just dissapear is more realistic than taking even an unrealisticly powerful medicine

[@anguswilson6234]

The guy that saved Lara was the guy on the other side of the gap, he jumped first

[@crashedfighterproductions]

I really want to see new Lara and old Lara meet. New Lara: I'm so sad! I just killed a poor deer! Old Lara: Girl, I don't want to hear it! I killed a freaking T-REX with PISTOLS! *Slaps new Lara*

[@TXFDA]

Still hoping the Tomb Raider series continues after Shadow, and we eventually get to classic Lara again.

[@Ratzillionaire]

Says he is in the armed forces. Says Ermahgerd. You are the most legitimate armed forces personnel i have ever seen in my entire life.

[@Shandor666]

The fire in this game is pretty

[@Powoga]

"say stuff that makes literally sense" Oh, do you want stuff that doesn't make sense?

[@TaylorgangCorps]

At the end when he lobs her off the cliff, did anyone notice she hit the rock and bounce off it into the water?

[@carbinjones]

love it when dan uses alot of editing

[@DylanCrabb]

I thought this was supposed to be like a prequel game to the other 'Tomb Raider' games and that is why the character seems younger and more naive. Reboots are often unpopular because they usually don't 'feel' the same as the older versions, but you have to realize that this newer version needs to appeal to the newer generation as well. If the developers made this game exactly like the older 'Tomb Raiders', it probably would only be appealing to that niche group.

[@BatmanAndTheUnicorns]

You pretty much can accualy, I've taken archery at a camp for 8 years now and 7 year olds pick up bows and hit the targets, btw, laura has experience with bows, if you acually play the part Dan cut out, Roth had trained her in archery,shooting,climbing and other things of that sort

[@declansmyth1973]

The ai is probably some of the worst I've ever seen in a triple a game. Especially for 2012. That is horrific.

[@Padfoot934]

I actually think Tomb Raider looks great. I would happily play it. BUT I think this was one of Dan's funniest videos and I'm more than happy for him to rave about things he doesn't like if it keeps this kind of quality coming.

[@DarthSolid9]

I just got this game and i do like it. I do however feel it holds your hand a bit too much. With puzzles and even when trying to be stealthy it straight up shows you if a kill will alert people or not.

[@Nettacki]

Those hidden temples are optional though, and they're kinda short. And there's not a lot of them spread across the map. You're still spending 80-90% of the time shooting dudes and running back and forth from place to place. Which kinda goes against the spirit of Tomb Raider pre Crystal Dynamics.

[@kinghernan9491]

Best ending to a video ever

[@Nazebaze]

Challenge: remember the 3 hour delivery ride you did on euro truck simulator (that you edited to 1 hour)? I chalenge you to to the same (or bigger) in the time of 45 - 60 minutes, non-stop

[@Unethical.FandubsGames]

When shot all over the body in FC3, usually you bandage your wrist or something stupid like that, loving that realism!

[@someguy2351]

10:38 "Yep, people tend to take a very long time to die when they get shot through the brain." In some cases yes. It depends on the size of the bullet and what part(s) of the brain it went through. Some people die instantly, others die in just under a minute. Some people don't even die at all, and walk out of the hospital with a nasty hole in their head. There have also been cases where someone attempted suicide via bullet to the head and, afterwards, call 911 to be transported to the hospital.

[@Unethical.FandubsGames]

In both of your imaginary situations, the gunshots heal magically over-time, the only difference being that in one of them there's an animation for "I'm going to stop surface bleeding and cut the pain down a little, even though my FUCKING HEART HAS A HOLE IN IT, but that will just heal itself over time" compared with "I'll just heal over time". There's no real difference here.

[@Regular-Sized]

yea and the problem with that is you've completely altered what I said. I said, "whether a game is good or not is a matter of opinion, and not a matter of right and wrong." You're paraphrase suggests I said "Opinions are always right" or something along those lines. That's very different.

[@AsheCraftingCorner]

The number one reason why I didn't want to get this game, and knew it was going to be bad was...She is pretty much immortal in this

[@RubyFluffyUnicorn]

My faceorite tomb raider is an old one for playstion 2, more puzzles, and jumps that when Laura hit tje ground she flopped like a fish. Beauty.

[@SushiCatto]

"I'm not intolerant" "you have to admit it's sad" Uhh...

[@mirta000]

yes, her answer to everything is bullets. This one actually is a mortal person that has to use her head.

[@prozamper]

In Soul Calibur Pyrrha has emotions. She says sorry when ever she hits some one and cries after every fight

[@lynmar]

Dan i have a game you can play and review, rigs of rods. i think youd have a blast playing this game, all the other driving games you play you just mess around and crash and thats the whole point of rigs of rods

[@ShaquiIeOatmeal]

well it's was April fools day I keep forgetting that's like Dan's Christmas

[@Chloe33339]

i questioned when no-one else seemed to (so I'm glad you did too) who was the guy that pulled lara out?, but then after a while i thought.. it could be the memory of her dead father that pulled her out.. and i settled with that

[@thesuperfish2000]

When you grow up with a game from your childhood you tend to nitpick the newer games a lot more then you should. His nitpicking is perfectly justified to me.

[@Asteliaa]

Challenge: Upload Psychonauts part 2 (Timed bonus: Part 3 within a week)

[@MySunnyBoyEli]

Let's remember folks, Dan doesn't have to like every game. This is an opinion and analysis based on his preferences, experience, and expectations, and yes, it may differ from yours. It doesn't really matter if it's a good game or not. We watch KZbin gamers mainly for entertainment, so try to enjoy the comedy in the editing and personality or if you're going to be offended that he doesn't like a game that you like, then don't watch.

[@xXRD0776Xx]

i bet dan had to do the finishing speech more than once because he couldnt resist throwing her off the cliff

[@carrotandstick5701]

One of Dan's finest I believe.

[@ListerDavid]

You made my healing broken ribs hurt when you said Butlins! I couldn't stop laughing XD

[@iiixySaTnAfLaNiF]

The person that pulled Lara out of the water was Jonah. His voice, clothes, everything was very obvious.

[@CommanderRDash]

His point is that they make her out to be helpless, but fail completely. We see her getting headshot after headshot.

[@blubobo99]

Dan doesnt like the game because Tomb Raider is known for exploration and puzzles.This game has really nice exploration but not that good puzzles. They just made a GOOD cover-shooter version of Tomb Raider.Also Dan doesnt like shooters THAT much.

[@mirta000]

It's profitable, therefore majority likes it, therefore a great direction for a media. Other than that I have no clue why people hate stories and character development.

[@IamTheMisterMan]

I see his point, same thing with Jason form farcy but they attempted to cover that up with the tribe thing

[@WarCollider]

(cont) Basically, the story being told does not match the actual gameplay. It's like the complete opposite. When the game play doesn't match (or mix) with the story and serves more to go against it, then it's not a good mix. 4. Plot holes like going from being sick over killing to taking down entire groups of people, getting horribly injured and being able to go on like normal, not being allowed to escape at the start, and similar issues. Hope that helps you understand my views better. :)

[@AniGaAG]

Actually, this game's original name was Tom Braider. That's why it's so different from Tomb Raider.

[@neverdoubt11]

This is apperently a prequel

[@SykoLiu]

To be fair.... I'd threaten horrible things if someone stole all my raisins too.

[@DylboScratchins]

Just because it is profitable doesn't mean the majority likes it. It means it works. Even if it is killing games for people who actually care about how the games plays, how the story unfolds, and how everything blends together. Thank the gods Metro: Last Light did and amazing job of keeping the game up to modern standards AND being an amazing experience.

[@Unethical.FandubsGames]

He likes flashy lights and shooty guns more than other things, so it's only natural that this game that focuses less on this would not satisfy the inner child. Or in other words, he's not into this type of game and therefore unfairly bashes it.

[@euresearcher733]

I'm personally looking forward to Nerdcubed plays "Butterflies and Tittfucks 5 Ultra Black Op Caterpillar Platinum Game of the year edition"

[@mayraneco2775]

ive been waiting for him to play this game