Best HFY Reddit Stories: Humans Are So Dense

[@marxel4444]

And thats why we have all the stupid Work safety laws everyone. To prevent stupid shortcuts from killing you.

[@Nyghtking]

I've read the other chapters, it didn't kill them. I think the author also stopped writing the series however.

[@lloydkeith3061]

Yep,... safety rules are written in blood. It's mostly the blood of the stupid and unlucky, but blood none the less

[@SergeyWaytov]

Well, that's EXACTLY what Im sometimes joking about -- all the Ridiculous warnings on stuff that you see whenever getting something - are because of it happened to enough Gerrts out there to make it seen😂😂😂

[@whatthehell932]

I laughed out loud when I heard them say "the ants are giving us a ride"

[@loganshaw4527]

First sign something was going to go wrong.

[@KingMarkus222]

Kids on the playground: oh yea well yo mama so heavy I heard she put a hole in a starship just by standing still. Ohhhhhhh

[@Bananakingchad]

The human child resisting the urge to take off his belt and throw hands

[@imjang2430]

"I'm not heavy, i'm well packed"

[@wyvernharries4788]

Dammmmmn!

[@atoriusv5070]

Hnnnngh Colonel. I'm trying to negotiate with these aliens, but the clap of my mag boots keeps causing diplomatic incidents!

[@satibel]

before watching : all other species are mostly gaseous.

[@GreenDude_Gaming]

This is really good and has multiple parts and I highly suggest you read them. It explores how having access to different resources caused different species to develop technologically in very different ways.

[@faithhellman402]

Ooh, thanks for letting me know. 😁

[@ktcd1172]

Well assuming Gerrt is in a Military Organization and at or near the bottom of it at that. Since it started with him and is going to be ending with him. What's going to be rolling down the hill probably won't be traveling all that far. Might be kind of deep though when it stops moving.

[@imjang2430]

That makes sense because?...

[@Talon1124]

​@@imjang2430 if it was a Captain, or otger higher rank, the shitball would be rolling all the way down the structure and end someone's entire existence when it hit bottom. This is likely going to just end Gerrt.

[@imjang2430]

@@Talon1124 Ok, so i get that the responsibility of this situation lies with Gerrt. But why does consequence goes down the structure? If it always goes to the lowest rank, doesn't that make abuse of power from the higher ranks? They just slide responsibility to someone who isn't supposed to be? That situation sounds like faschism

[@hollowknightfanatic8905]

"captain *villager noises*"

[@TheGosgosh]

„You are in violation of OSHA regulations. Prepare for the work safety committee, if they only tear you 2 new ones, you got off lightly.“

[@lupaswolfshead9971]

Captain HHnng on his porcelain throne.

[@slimeinabox]

Loving the brief pause after reading “antkin” Literal names arent common in hfy.

[@gaza102289]

I've never been one to mash a keyboard and say "there, that sounds alien" In another story I called a race of dog like aliens guptachar. It's Hindi for snoop. Basically I made a race of snoop dogs lol

[@johnadler6987]

@@gaza102289 Lmao.

[@theicyphoenix_7745]

@@gaza102289 i did usualy smash keys on the keyboard and do "that sounds alien" but usualy not as random as you think,more like i first visualise what could sound cool

[@greanstreak04]

Gerrt is going to be explaining that mistake for a while...

[@nweasels]

What the hell are the ant ships made of that humans punch through like tinfoil? How do they even keep out small debris?

[@gabriellopezcollantes1027]

Stupid thin aluminium? Idk?

[@randomguy3080]

Honestly reading the title, I couldn’t tell if it meant figuratively, or literally like we are dense and heavy

[@SergeyWaytov]

Saaame, was expecting "dense" and not in a literal physical density)))

[@RedRoy73]

Thank you for making this, I really enjoyed it

[@nicholasmunroe8989]

Noo I want more of this universe now

[@jollimaiahtacksworth]

Was the captain a minecraft villager or something

[@victortahlor4038]

Thank you for the reading

[@peterwalls-qf7ii]

Why blame Gerrt? You court martial the pilots for gros negligence, and demote them to janitors who will not see a flight deck , except in their dreams. What kind of pilot hits the engines for orbit, with out checking the mass they are carrying and if they have enough fuel? No super cargo, meaning that's the pilot's job as well. To make certain everything is stowed away properly.

[@deanjones4928]

Pilots actually have very little, if anything to do with the cargo. The loadmasters are responsible for the cargo, they check the weight, distribution and the security of the cargo. The loadmasters then run their numbers, making sure everything is within limits, and hand those numbers off to the flight engineers. The flight engineers run their numbers making sure total aircraft weight is within limits, ensure fuel load is adequate, and inform the pilots if all is good. The starting weight was all within limits, it was when the grav belts failed and there was a sudden increase in mass that everything went to hell. That brings everything back to the poor, lowly private who went directly against orders trying to do a good deed

[@clarkb1900]

"Yes! Yes.. I'm George McFly! I'm your *density*." -Back To The Future

[@ZionistWorldOrder]

nice pick, story had a funny angle, me like

[@qaaris4280]

It's not even his fault, nobody told him the harness was to make them lighter.

[@justjoe5373]

Captain villager noises

[@NovaGirl8]

Welp wonder what the punishment will be

[@waynecampeau4566]

Repairing the ship by himself. :)

[@MizuMing]

We chonky~

[@fanfight]

Please,Captain Hnnngh,don't be so harsh to Gerrt,he just wanted to help the humans!

[@alistairwolfe6644]

Nice

[@zeehero7280]

Captain HNNNNNG!

[@talyn3932]

So... an ore hauler cant handle the weight of humans?

[@MrGorillafist]

Are their ships made of tinfoil and Styrofoam?

[@VampireFlutist]

Is it bad that I read the Captain’s name as a sexual moan?

[@judebazan7621]

rrrrreeeeeeeEEEEEEERRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[@jamesha175]

LOL his name is Captain Hnnngh

[@pandoratheclay]

What type of dense?

[@GirlPainting]

I love your content but may i ask for a small favour? sometimes you speed up your reading and slur several words in a row. for a non native english speaker like me its sometimes hard to keep up. so yould you maybe slow down a tiny bit ^^ thx in advance

[@pulverize3]

Human density is 985 kg/m^3

[@frankmoore3598]

Ooops!

[@cmmpr111]

Meeth

[@paulschumacher4308]

Captain Hrrrrrrr

[@harlequinems]

The writer of this really doesn't know anything about ants 😂 Entertaining either way though 😊

[@omargoodman2999]

Seems to know quite a bit to me. Ants are strong proportional to their body mass, but *only* because they're so small in the first place. *Most* animals that small are going to be proportionately much stronger than a Human simply due to the square-cube law, but you just can't scale that strength up to Human-scale. A Human-sized Ant would _never_ be able to keep that "able to lift 20× its body weight" strength gimmick... rather, it would be crushed under the weight of its exoskeleton. So it absolutely makes sense that a human-sized race of ant-like aliens with sufficiently light exoskeleton to not _implode_ would still have to devote an awful lot of power to just operating their own bodies. As a result, they wouldn't have much left over to apply externally.

[@lupaswolfshead9971]

Your making a very big anthropomorphic error in that statement

[@nobodyimportant2470]

You seem to be assuming that they are Terran ants scaled up to human size and intelligence. They are an alien species that kind of look like an ant.

[@imjang2430]

I know convergent evolution is a thing, but _pretty sure_ that there's lots of different genes between the two.

[@tonyneal910]

😂👏❤👍

[@Voron_Aggrav]

hmm, there's a lot of glaring problems with this story, Ehm how is a Cargo transport not rated to withstand 100-200 kilo's of weight, mean even if you just think about the atomic weight of things, I Don't think you'd be able to have Cargo containers lighter than that, and if they're actually similar to Ants they'd be Massively stronger than us,

[@lupaswolfshead9971]

What is weight

[@lupaswolfshead9971]

How heavy is a plastic tub or a lunch box or a carrier bag or a toolbox or a rucksack these are all cargo containers

[@lupaswolfshead9971]

The problem isn't with the story it's with you ability of lack of of critical thinking

[@evernewb2073]

complete agreement on the ti...huh...actually, tissue paper is a LOT stronger than that ship, just off the top of my head I think _wet_ tissue paper would still be a lot stronger than that ship if that's a couple meters of plating and not a couple meters of space and components being called plating because that's the word they picked to use for "floor" in the situation. anyways, my actually informative tidbit: bugs aren't anywhere near as absurd as some of those numbers suggest since some parts of physics scale differently than others, ants _are_ pretty strong even after accounting for scaling but an ant your size would be collapsing in on itself ripping it's joints apart cooking to death from it's own bodyheat in most of it's tissues even in a resting state and _literally catching on fire_ when it tried to do it's version of breathing. after adjusting for everything you'd find that most insects have amazing burst potential but terrible stamina utterly abysmal energy economy/processing/storage/logisticsingeneral and considerably more limited versatility in their bodyplans: they are developed based on a different and frankly objectively worse oxygen exchange system so their bodies have vastly different design goals literally from the most basic element (energy) on up and the basic building blocks they are working with for making a body structure are better at hyperspecialization but much more limiting...probably a large part of why on an evolutionary level they are so much better at just sprouting another limb or body segment or whatnot: for all the different forms of life in animalia we're all working with surprisingly a similar structure. there's less difference in bodyplan between you and a damned goldfish than there are between some of the different species of ants, let alone the differences between a microscopic wasp smaller than a good portion of single celled life and a Giant Stickbug.

[@Voron_Aggrav]

@@lupaswolfshead9971 the density of materials influenced by Gravity is Weight, I carry groceries three times a week for a local care home, I'll be carrying anything between 20 and 60 kilos of foodstuff per time, that's for a small group of people, now if you'd haul that as cargo that's gonna be a lot more than that, More than the weight of a Human, that's even discounting the fact that those materials also need to stand the rigors of Space and apparently also leaving atmosphere, In the story the effect was almost cartoonish in that they where back on the planet Through the deck instantly, meaning it'd be unable to sustain like Half their weight if not less

[@wheelmanv]

Fun story, but a lil goofy that the density of slighly less than water is considered extreme, even more demse than any metal or machine