"Networking" Sucks - How it actually works...

[@MatheusCarvalho-ev9hw]

"Build your network when you don't need to network". Golden advice.

[@BeMa3000]

Just been told I'm at risk of redundancy and this channel has very articulatly helped me to realise everywhere I've been going wrong and how I will protect myself in my next corporate job. Some of your observations actually make me laugh out loud at how true they are 😄

[@rehanfaisal5648]

Well said 👍👍

[@eugene3d875]

Aren't we all at risk of RIFs :-). Outrageously great channel

[@FearlessUntamed]

Sadly you have to go through situations like this to understand. But once you do, you DO.

[@albertorodrigues913]

Well said! That's what I hate about LinkedIn. Everyone wants to "connect" and then their first interaction will be straight telling you they are looking for a job or to make business

[@Justsomeone99987]

I worked at Facebook for many years and got to know literally hundreds of people that I can now reach out to for help, like I did after I got laid off. I prioritize being a good coworker over being a good employee because companies come and go but the friendships and connections you make persist.

[@ccmetalhead]

I've found that if I just work on being the best man I can be, and not being a prick, the networking and opportunities come naturally.

[@kvni88]

Your content is great, I totally agree. I remember a networking reception during college where different alums were speaking with prospective business major students. Everyone was crowding around the bankers and the consultants but I happened to speak to a pastor. The "gunners" came and left immediately but we spoke for a decent amount of time and he actually referred me to a banker from his church. Funny how stuff like that works out.

[@joedoe8558]

This is the mistake I made, more focused on fixing things for the organization than helping individuals for future benefits. Guess that's the problem when you see the big picture. Thanks to your other videos I've completely dropped swimming against the organization and now I just do my thing and help the fellow traveller when there's a low cost Investment around the corner just like everyone else. These videos are gold, thank you.

[@Airsoftshowoffs]

I am so happy to find this channel. You truly keep it real for especially us the common salary earner.

[@markomak1]

Those that gave me the most aid, I was never able to repay them because they never asked. Those that I have helped the most have never returned the favour, nor do i expect them to.

[@BuildingMakingDoing]

Networking: how to insure the most social person gets the job instead of the most qualified.

[@JoyL2024]

As an introvert, I suck at "networking", not interested in it at all. I am tired of the networking thing in China, and glad to be in US. At least I can get by without much networking here. I think networking takes unnecessary amount of time and money, although I got my first job through attending a seminar. I am thankful for that.

[@sighsgkj]

Are you settled for working a job, or plan to climb corporate ladder?

[@JoyL2024]

@@sighsgkj well, I don't like networking, probably individual contributor is the best for me. Also too soft and too flexible to manage anyone.

[@breadman5048]

It works different in China people actually expect money and gifts in return for favors.. wouldn’t you agree? It doesn’t really work like that here at least for normal people

[@sighsgkj]

@@JoyL2024 With the internet age you can probably get away from networking as a online business

[@sighsgkj]

@@breadman5048 I think gifts is a common thing among family / friends there, even without business connotations. It's like old traditions of hospitality forgotten in the age of individuality.

[@jaygunns]

Excellent video. This will save people from wasting precious time and explains why most LinkedIn “networking” is meaningless. Thanks for sharing!

[@MrSeebsy]

Linkedin in 2024 is Facebook for work. It's a joke.

[@CountryTesla]

Summary: it used to be, it's not what you know it's Who you know. Later, It's not who you know, it's who you blow. Which has evolved to: "It's How you blow, who you know."

[@kpk33x]

I am a later career director. Maybe one more promotion before retirement. Not leaving my current organization. I never got any value in networking, I just kept applying until it paid off. It took over 60 applications twice, no network helped me. I don't do conferences because its 99% socializing and things I have already heard and done. I am willing to mentor younger workers, but I don't do the social thing. Unnecessary.

[@elianaj.3373]

You sound like someone I’d like to be mentored by.. applying for research/policy analyst jobs while working to set up my own consultancy business, don’t care for the fluff and looking for guidance. If you have any openings..

[@allimimi]

The “Bob” impersonation 😂 cracks me up. Thank you sir, I needed that.

[@saschadibbern339]

As freelancer IT-consultant of over 30 yrs in the market I fully agree. Once I went to a very important new client interview where the agency warned me that the client's contract manager will be bitchy and trying to trying to trap me ... chances for success were low. At the meeting I discovered that the contract manager knows me from another client 3yrs earlier, where I was leading the IT firefighters and helped her also in certain situations.... Conclusion: It was an interview with a cheerleader on the other side of the table. She later told me ,that she also had moved my job application into the candidate stack for this job from another application stack because she thought, I was the best fit.

[@keylanoslokj1806]

Don't listen to people's fear mongering basically

[@TempestArtLLC]

10:17 - We've all seen Bob at networking events collecting business cards like scratch-offs.

[@catbomber24]

Fantastic. I've been waiting for you to make a video on this because my firm always pushes networking events and never explains what the point is

[@BOSSDONMAN]

It's to have an establish network within the industry. Helps you pivot roles down the line. For your own benefit, it'll help establish contacts for future job references.

[@wheresarnie1]

@@BOSSDONMAN You seem to be very good at repeating 'oughts' but haven't a grasp of the nuance to understand the 'is' between the lines.

[@BOSSDONMAN]

@@wheresarnie1 Please enlighten us Arnie.

[@joel3792]

I personally don’t have a lot of sensitivity, with one of those exceptions in repeatedly giving and never wanting something in return, until 6+ years later asking for something and the person has every excuse not to give or even try…the one time you ever asked. It cuts deep, to where now if I find myself giving 2 or 3 in a row, I will find something to ask for, just to see. Not that I ever am helpful seeking return, but what a red flag when you ask and the person on the other end doesn’t factor in all that you’ve already done. I've lost past friends and even stopped attending church just based on this thing. All that to say, just be aware also of those unilateral networks. In todays age, you almost have to test your network to be sure its truly bilateral.

[@tongobong1]

OMG you just described my mother. She was giving to all people around her and when she needed a bit of help very few of those were prepared to help her.

[@tongobong1]

​@iank.2162 I know how you feel because I have the same experience with people trying to cheat me. The only remedy to feel better is to try to cheat them too. You should try it. I wastly exagerate about my experience at a job interview.

[@advicepirate8673]

If you give to a specific person with the expectation that they will turn around and help you later specifically when you ask, you're not giving freely. Hell, you're not giving at all. That's just an open-ended transaction, that's a burden on the person you gave to. The context of the giving is important. The way you give is important. If you give selfishly with rigid expectations, that's just going to blow up in your face. If you give with no expectations, that's when it comes back to you, usually not in the way you think, usually in a way that you can't quantify. It manifests in reputation and amazing opportunities you would otherwise never get. For instance: I help people, I give to my community. A while back I was having serious truck problems. A lady in the community, who I had never personally helped, wrote me a check for $7,000 to get rolling again. It wasn't through tracking down all the people I had helped and asking them to pay me back. It was through the reputation that I gained by giving. Actually giving. You have yet to actually give my man.

[@joel3792]

@@advicepirate8673 i agree and disagree. I volunteered at places which was a form of giving with 0 expectations which is what you are referring to. But there are situations where you have to have some level of expectations, and friendships, romantic relationship, and def networking are such things. If you are the friend who gives and cant ask anything in return ever...then wss it really a friendship, or a situation of you being used. I understand your point, but its a line in which it become predatory towards your good nature if not gaurded.

[@flipsaug]

I think advicepirate86 says pretty much what I was thinking. I’ve spent a lifetime building a reputation of who I am. The people I work with, my family and my friends know I can be counted on. It pays off. Not always and not always times 10 but it pays off. Like putting money into the S&P 500 over the long run, it’s paid off times a thousand and in ways that are unpredictable. Rich is speaking the truth.

[@summmmmmable]

It took me 15 years to build my network! You’re so right, don’t build networking when you need it, build it while you don’t! People that hangout with you at night or dinner party don’t benefit you much, but the people that you’re working with mean a lot!

[@adibasdas]

I am really glad to have discovered your channel. Each one of your videos is pure gold. Thank you.

[@pascalbruyere7108]

Yep, you plant the seeds (usually without realizing it) and collect -maybe- the fruits later.

[@qd9310]

This was very insightful, thank you for sharing and 'giving' to your KZbin network. It would be great to listen to more about the theories and methods you mentioned in the second half of your video.

[@salvatorelivreri]

One of the best talks every on human relationships. Should be a TED talk.

[@mrll3555]

Could you please do a video on MBAs? I would love to hear your views on the topic. I feel stuck on a path of mediocrity in my corporate 9-5 career and I want "a way out", so I've been contemplating how an MBA may or may not fit into the picture... Anyway, your work has helped me a lot - there's a great dearth of people acknowledging the realities of corporate America like you do. Thank you!

[@RichGilbert]

Sure. I like the topic. I’ll plan to do one later this week.

[@johnnyd7507]

I am on LinkIn and that is pretty much it. I don’t even have friend I hang with. All of them are where I lived before and I just don’t feel like I need anybody. I have to interact with many people and groups at work. That is way more than enough for me. I use the internet quite a bit and I know enough people vaguely enough to get knowledge and information to do just about anything. Most people especially on the internet have happy to share what they know. Like boaters and casual sailors, I do that too and find them very friendly.

[@DP-lo6om]

This suddenly thinking about somebody has happened to me on many occasions and in each of them it turned out that I had been involved in some form or another. I even had a strange connection with 2 people for a period where if one would reach out to me, I would hear from the 2nd person shortly thereafter, sort of this weird triangle entanglement that I found to be very amusing. If we extend this further I believe this is how many people gets their ideas or inspirations from, seemingly out of nowhere. Geniuses gets their inspirations in this manner and it is evident from reading about people such as Nikola Tesla, they are simply more tuned in to whatever the universe has to offer.

[@RichGilbert]

Yep. Happens to me all the time

[@mat3393gjh]

Loved the vid. Straightforward advice and easy enough to understand.

[@Wildmight]

When I had online activity, several people asked me my business card in the course of common conversation for ludicrous and unlikely networking purposes. I hadn't and was very pleased to deny their demand, to their surprise. I was online, my client had to be found online, pointless and painful to aimlessly network with random stranger I ve often nothing in common with and even scorn.

[@TheBicycleSpoke]

If you give freely to someone, you're engaging the reciprocity principle. It's one of the six human levers of influence and a powerful one.

[@BillLaBrie]

It’s commodity-grade friendship.

[@damirzeric1018]

Networking should seemless and shouldn't be forced. It's like finding love as cheesy as that is. Just let it happen naturally but it's a mission lol.

[@orthodox_gentleman]

Bro what are those black boxes behind you with the purple light?

[@Haralds87]

Evaluate whom to invest in for a greater return on your effort. Pay attention to red flags when talking to them, as many will unconsciously give clues about how they handle receiving and giving back.

[@ILoveAvatarShow]

great video! thanks for keeping it real.

[@mdc8223]

Amazing video!! :D thank you very much!

[@randomuserame]

Networking: Paying a favor forward in exchange for a chit to be redeemed later. The largest and most expensive networking retreat is *_Univeristy._* That's mostly what it is, aside from maybe 2-5 classes with stuff you'll actually use in your career. The rest are mostly useless but can be leveraged into opporunities to help someone, who may in the future, help you (if you stay in contact semi-regularly and attempt to help them multiple times if you can. PS: go to every rager you can, and rush greek. If you don't go to a college/university that has a major chapter (preferably the "party" ones, to increase your chances of meeting other people you'd otherwise not be exposed to)... transfer to one that does.

[@Budulai89]

This is more like making friends.

[@biljanastankovic2328]

Golden advice

[@Pedritox0953]

Great video! very insightful

[@jaredyoung5353]

Your channel has really helped me. Helped me change my perspective and planning.

[@flashcraft7412]

Hi Rich, great video. Could you explain more about the "knowledge hoarding/connections into power" part of the vid. What does tgat look like, and how do you spot it?

[@saodavi6267]

Not Rich, but some people have an extensive network, and they gatekeep that network to keep other "friends" from accessing it. This forces you to go through them and makes the gatekeeping hoarder more relevant/powerful. But this is contrary to the idea of giving without expectation. People will sniff this out, and it's ultimately bad for the gatekeeper.

[@donaldjohnson-e8f]

I've had jobs that were so bad that I wouldn't have brought a friend into - and those jobs asked most often if we had any friends who were looking to make a change.

[@KenNeumeister]

networking is like alohanet: the message gets through if there are no collisions.

[@ACMR6297]

I met my current boss through a friend and we bonded over Dota 2 and Hentai before I worked for him.

i agree. A friend of mine doesn't have even a title, but he is the Sytems department boss thanks to contacts he made on parties or so.

[@euroopanmonsteri5537]

Hey Rich! What happened to your other channel "Thoughtful center" ? I really enjoyed those videos. Especially videos about AI hype😂.

[@RichGilbert]

I decided to focus for now on this channel and the cultural commentary one. We’ll talk about AI again. 😀

[@mattabouttrails]

Networking is so cringey. I avoid cold call invitations at all costs.

[@rahulroy-yt3wh]

can you please share your opinions about going back to office mandate ?

[@ryanbarker3978]

Confidantes, Constitutes, and Comrades. The three "C"s of networking.

[@lancelvanderhaven]

Well said.

[@GfcgamerOrgon]

Is great to hear someone with good talk. You really have weight of truth in your sentences. The sensation is that, when our head drops outside the matrix, we just cannot give in, is like someone that needs to kill to be in a gang. I cannot accept the ways organizations trive. I cannot even ask crumbles, even if I get hungry! is not about honor, is about not doing to others what I don' t desire over myself. Glad I found you. I will be around! Great videos! My first videos are about science, but the science is like a devil book in times of inquisition, in the hands of the wise. Is easy to see. We dont need to go so far how people are like agents, even me, even you by many things we cannot believe, like I did by doubting that AI would be of any use my whole life. God the Star Treck Ship conputer is here, and it looks normal now!!!!l

[@carlamoreira7010]

Hi Rich What to do? I don’t like out with people at home… but I like to be nice to co workers. I

[@orthodox_gentleman]

This literally makes no grammatical sense.

[@stephaniec5215]

Was the last video telling men to go to coffee with other men at work?

[@SS-qo3nt]

Yes Id like to learn more about this but I have no particular request, just whatever real life scenarios apply. I think part of America's great soul sucking atmosphere is people being instructed to use other people like tools. We are a multi ethnic society and nobody can really anticipate success through using people in a Machiavellian or simply utilitarian manner.

[@ELCHDA]

The individualistic narcissistic culture also will result in good guys helping others out getting taken advantage from. Can reciprocal altruistic people worth helping out be identified or you have to risk getting burned first on the road to networking? This is the question.

[@Yourdaddy_2024]

Good point. I have seen this happening often than not

[@orthodox_gentleman]

Can you explain what you mean a little more? I think I know what you are saying and I agree…

[@ELCHDA]

@@orthodox_gentleman Helping someone that does not help you back. Getting fired and getting disavowed/avoided due to unemployment stigma. Not being highly positioned enough for amount of time working so those peers that surpassed you view you as a lesser than. Getting scapegoated in the workplace so the scapegoaters look better by comparison. If you underperform (cant help them like you used to) they will hate you and try to get you fired regardless of all your past achievements and favors granted to them. Getting you fired for not being an accomplice in some plot to rob the company of money. It goes on and on. Basically, modern men are hyper individualistic, they do not want to help nor associate with those socioeconomically beneath them or even equals, they never accept personal responsibility but pass it on to someone else of lower rank, zero honor, they compete through immoral means and they use dirty tactics to thrive because they lack the intellect and work ethic to simply do their job. Narcissists are so ridiculously selfish that they are pure evil, even if they never commit violent crimes, and post industrial capitalist society has resulted in mass subclinical narcissism as the new neurotypical/normal.

[@hawkfandan]

That advice on pinging someone when you think about them is not gonna go well for people trying to get over their ex's

[@bigal7713]

would you advise accepting LinkedIn connection requests from people you don't know - in terms of "giving" to somebody who either looking for job or just "building their network" indiscriminately

[@Priya-rf7ov]

I love the western world …. I prefer individualism

[@tongobong1]

In my highly corrupted country Slovenia the most important thing is who are your close relatives.

[@user-nu8in3ey8c]

At every job I have worked, including government and corporate, in the US, it is those with family in management, or that are friends in management, that get ahead. Outside of this only those with DEI credentials can occasionally get ahead to improve company DEI quotas. Merit and seniority do not matter beyond the ability to keep the job without being fired. Any excess performance will not be rewarded unless you are related to, or friends with, the right person.

[@Fibo-xd8hf]

I was waiting for this. happy I found your channel. keep them coming.....

[@RichGilbert]

Glad the messages resonate with you

[@LazuraMusic]

Didn't you had another channel also?

[@andrewflanders262]

sounds like network is just an incorrect term for reputation

[@jamest9794]

the entire legal field works like this.

[@Ronin3453]

2:00 actually we're not even sure of that. They might just be paid actors.

[@MarkL-we8uk]

The worst networks events are the free one - attendees tendcto be deluded and desperate daydreamers being pitched non stop by overexcited and overhyped sales people...

[@humanoid9787]

Another BANGER

[@AllanKirk76]

20:00 The word you are looking for is "confirmation bias"

[@Dan0rioN]

I've always seen it differently... No matter which way you spin it there is always an exchange in interaction & what if your shared passion is business & getting shit done & kicking ass in life? I don't want to exchange words with people who make it abundantly clear they have nothing to bring to the table.. They can keep all their mindless useless drone bs tf over there.. I don't care if me moving with a sense of purpose bothers them they can go degen with their "friends" on their own time

[@ch08532]

real life Jimmy McGill

[@4JamesJones]

❤

[@patrickjohnson4436]

“Give and Take” - Adam Grant Great book that talks about this very subject. There are Takers, Matchers, and Givers. Always be a giver. It won’t pay off in the short-term. In fact it will be a detriment in the short-term. But in the long-term I can almost guarantee it will pay dividends.

[@shootingbricks8554]

Networking for me was just a bunch of empty promises from other ppl

[@nicholasapodaca9886]

I've just heard about job openings from small talk, applied to them, and got them. And these are really high paying jobs. You don't have to get hired on by anybody. I moved to Chicago as an immigrant and landed a spot in one of the most powerful unions in the city and used that experience to get a mid six figure job. It is more important that you lie, cheat, and steal, than it is that you network. Almost every super successful person I know lied on job applications, and the other ones were lottery winners. And running a business, it is even more important that you can lie and extract every ounce of surplus value from your employees.

[@mikexerov976]

I am in academia. In my field networking means nothing as the only thing that matters for scientists is what you can do. If you are a mediocre scientist, you would never land a good job, regardless how good a person you are. It is complete meritocracy. If you are an excellent scientist who generates results and publications that are widely cited, you will be chased and harassed by others offering you positions. I don't understand why for-profit companies hire people who they know instead of people who can actually help to make more profit. That is all that should matter. This what I would do if I were running a corporation.

[@haideral5104]

Generating papers and citations is an art by itself and doesn't always say much about how good of a scientist the author is. Maybe this system of citations is the cause for the stagnation in almost all fields

[@didafm]

Because people like to work with certain people

[@mikexerov976]

@@haideral5104 Well, it is not only citations, but the fact that I generate five times more funds for the university as federal grants than they pay me as a professor's salary. Besides, it is scientists that are responsible for the civilization and all the technology that we have today. Engineers just make it profitable.

[@mintrelsmith]

I do agree with your views. But I saw a documentary on Christiaan Barnad, the person who conducted the first heart transplant. At that time doctors around the world were in race for conducting the first heart transplant. As Barnad was from South Africa so he didn't have much access to latest tech that was happening at that time in this field and also many researchers don't want to share their personal data in this particular topic.So Barnard use to visit the research facilities of some doctors whom he can get acquainted to know the intricacies.And at last Barnad from South Africa beat doctors of USA and UK to conduct the first heart transplant. So networking do help you in way if you are determined.

[@TheGabe92]

@@mikexerov976I've never seen a not-commercially-viable technbology achieve anything and I have never seen a scientific (or any) organization that is a complete meritocracy either. Organizations like to hire known quantities because they want to control actual results to meet expectations. The reason people who are running corporations are not doing what you would do is that they want to control their risks and usually cannot depend on tax payer money to survive.

[@SS-qo3nt]

I never got a chance to complete an anthropology degree that I wanted and I think your podcast is very important. The more culturally diversified I become the more the native people of my home state don't seem to relate to me as far as networking but it could just be my IQ 130 that puts them off as well in normal conversation so the scene when thinking of "networking" gets muddled. Ok - there's a topic for you, please - how to remain flexible between lower IQ people and IQ of your same level when networking? With less frustration?

[@klapsigaarenbasgitaar1931]

Sounds to me like you are in the wrong environment. Do you professionally ever meet people that you actually like? If not you are in the wrong business IMHO.

[@20thCenturyFav]

I love how Rich just casually touches on the demonstrably true nature of quantum mechanics and laws of metaphysics that we all live by and has only been marginally touched on by many spiritual faiths. "by the way guys, all that stuff you've read about in new age books is true"

[@HablaKK]

That title made me laugh a lot 😅

[@luxsomnusaeterna7438]

I am normal citizen and a normal job. I am not very social because of many reason. but I get older and I understand more about culture and lets say the system that we are in. Is totally fine that some people just want there normal job etc.. and then they complain about the situation there are in. many people dont understand human psycholegy, because no one teached them, and the "game" there are in. hierarchys is a game(what I assume here). some people dont play and just be there and some play it, top score like a videogame. networking is a powerfull tool(I never used sadly, if I had I would be rich XD). In "48 rules of Power" RULE 12 tells about a saying in ancient China "giving before you take" and that is what you said in the video, so it's still up to date. I never understood it: Power and human behavior, know its like Cognitive dissonance (is a psychological phenomenon that occurs when a person experiences mental discomfort due to conflicting thoughts, beliefs, or behaviors.). Knowledge is key. Information is a good prevention for manipulation. I am really like this Channel.

[@OGCuster]

Rich can u make more videos faster i enjoy them