Never Go Back To Old Relationships Towns or Jobs

[@makelifemedicine]

Have you ever gone back to your hometown or reconnected with an ex, only to feel completely out of place? 🫤 It’s tough when you’ve outgrown the people, places, and situations that once felt like home. Let’s talk about it....👇

[@makelifemedicine]

I wonder what it is you miss? Have you asked yourself that question? 🤔 Usually we are wildly misremembering the past. Memory is not reliable. Whatever you believe you miss about him and the relationship is likely where you are not showing up for yourself and meeting your own needs/loving yourself. Does it ring true?

[@--Singularity--]

@@makelifemedicine They´re not real in the past. They´re just bots repeating same lies. kzbin.info/www/bejne/hJ7Zfpmefd51iKs

[@mtnrunner41]

I dislike the reference outgrown. Or I have grown to the point those of my past no longer serve me. This has the implication that they are diminished in some way. I completely agree with challenging yourself to new adventures or assuming a life more in tune with ones values. But descibing the past in some way that makes you feel better for yourself against how you percieve the lives of others, seems disengenuous.

[@makelifemedicine]

@mtnrunner41 that's a fair perspective. I understand where you're coming from. I think the terms "outgrown" and "no longer serves me" are pretty neutral. We assign meaning to them. For example, you outgrow clothes and I'd imagine you wouldn't have a problem using the term in that context. The term itself is neutral. What meaning are you attaching to it? Same with "no longer serves me". I could say "spending 4 hours scrolling Instagram no longer serves me" and I'd imagine no one would find that offensive or diminishing. This is where it becomes dangerous to overly identify with anything that anyone says. You can find yourself getting offended really easily. I'm not implying that you yourself are doing that. I'm referring to the general "You".

[@mtnrunner41]

@@makelifemedicine The use of the term outgrown on the internet too often attaches a "I'm better than them" sentiment. Or "they/them" are still the same ole people, as if that is a measure of their existence. My comment was more of the term, than how it was expressed in this thread. I think each of us should do you, but those metrics do not need to be at the expense of others. I enjoy your content. Keep it up!

[@aaronbeaver3647]

'One of the hardest parts of growth, is realizing some of your closest relationships have not grown with you" - Love that quote. I'm stealing it!

[@makelifemedicine]

@@aaronbeaver3647 It's all yours 😉

[@joeham4485]

That saying "never go back" is so true. Don't get dragged down by others, just keep moving forward.

[@makelifemedicine]

@@joeham4485 repeat the mantra whenever you find yourself romanticizing the past 😂

[@joeham4485]

I'll do my best. My main mantra is " do for me as I would for you" @@makelifemedicine

[@jessicaselenecenteno]

Exactly.

[@openeyedguy]

It’s easy to forget the painful parts. The mind has the tendency to only remember the good. NEVER FORGET THE PAIN OTHERS HAVE CAUSED YOU!!!

[@jim-se5xc]

@@openeyedguy Correct.

[@writer1986]

Years ago, I moved abroad and returned home to find myself ostracized by my own family. I remember an expat friend calling this "reverse culture shock." Now I see it as having outgrown my family, and they were extremely envious of my for being able to do the things they have never been able to do--move abroad AND live on my own. Today, I am no-contact with my parents and limit contact with my siblings because we are way too different.

[@makelifemedicine]

@@writer1986 Living abroad will definitely have that effect. It's really sad and unfortunate, but many people will not be able to be happy for you and excited to hear about your life and the experiences you've had. It reflects too poorly on their own. Thank you for sharing 💗

[@Trista1983]

Girl I commend you! I am NC with my parents & siblings too! I've found my tribe! hahaha

[@oonojoe]

@@Trista1983 I was able to give my Parents the respect they earned while they were alive, but NC with 8 out of the 9 remaining siblings.

[@TheBryanmauro]

Sorry to hear the no contact with family. Regardless of where you live and how one evolves, family is blood. Makes me wonder how the relationship with the rest of the sibs have with mom and dad? Is it you.

[@corycrafts]

​@@TheBryanmauroWhat a toxic opinion; clown.

[@Ninjadog47]

When I was in the military I was homesick the whole time and when I went back to my hometown after I got out I quickly realized that I wasted my time being homesick. I’m out of there again and hell no I’m not looking back anymore!

[@makelifemedicine]

@@Ninjadog47 Good for you! I think a lot of people can relate to that.

[@GregMacDougall-m3n]

You've turned all my confusion into words, thank you. ''The past is gone forever and cannot hurt me''.

[@makelifemedicine]

@@GregMacDougall-m3n I'm so glad ☺️ Love that mantra 😉❤️

[@cl3826]

I moved back to my hometown after being gone for 18 years. And I love it. But I've changed a lot

[@jsj31313jj]

"People are not primarily driven by reason but by emotion. People will often never accept when they are wrong and will find ways to rationalize their actions. Criticism hurts individuals' pride and sense of importance."

[@seanodanielsart]

Reunions are always weird. Its just a bunch of strangers trying to relate through the past.

[@adams115]

This one childhood friend said "you've changed man" like thats a bad thing

[@Ikaros23]

= run

[@Earthtime3978]

So true. I’m 60 years old and made this mistake several times with all of them- jobs, relationships and towns (apartments). It’s about romancing the past; thinking it was better then. You get here though and it’s all wrong. Nothing is what it was. It’s a time trap. I’m writing a book about time and this topic is in it. Most recently I looked at an old apartment again and this time, after taking some photos and looking at them later, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I got a sick feeling. What the hell am I doing!

[@makelifemedicine]

@@Earthtime3978 all indicators that you have grown quite a bit ❤️. Your book is going to be amazing. You'll have to share it when it's published 🙏🏼

[@rickfranks6537]

Would like to read this as well.

[@hellawitzgerald7530]

Yes. The etymology of the word nostalgia supports this. It comes from the Greek "nostos" (return home) and "algos" (pain). Basically homesickness, but I think it also speaks to the way that nostalgia makes you yearn for the past and remember things better than they were but to actually attempt to go back often ends in pain like you said

[@makelifemedicine]

@@hellawitzgerald7530 Wow, I love that. Thank you for sharing!

[@donaldolin7219]

And too hell with family reunions.

[@makelifemedicine]

@@donaldolin7219 😂

[@Exotic_St4rxxx]

LMAO

[@Exotic_St4rxxx]

@@makelifemedicine this persons family just randomly took the bullet..

[@Malitubee]

I feel like family more than anything tries to force you into that old self image , they can be a big hindrance to growth whether they know it or not

[@ricardojmestre]

And university reunions

[@LillaIvanfalvi]

Wow! This is exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you.

[@DMCdantenero112]

As someone who came back to their home country after years of living abroad, this is THE BIGGEST MISTAKE I've ever made in my life. It feels like all these years of progress were wiped away, and now I'm figuring out how to leave again. I wish you had released this video 2 years ago before I made that decision because everything is spot on! Especially the part about having to pretend to be your old self...

[@makelifemedicine]

@@DMCdantenero112 most of us tend to need to learn through our own experience, so there's a chance you wouldn't have listened even if you saw the video 2 years ago! 😂 You'll make it out again though 😉

[@DMCdantenero112]

@@makelifemedicine Actually, you're right! I needed a good kick in the rear to learn my lesson. So many of my friends warned me not to do it and they told me what would happen (it actually turned out worse) but I was too thick headed to listen. At least I'm lucky I live in the EU, and I can literally just buy a plane ticket and start working immediately in my new country. Thanks so much for the video, keep up the amazing content!

[@makelifemedicine]

@@DMCdantenero112 Oh man that's awesome! Then I have no concern at all that things can only go up from here, for you 🙏🏼 Thank you so much for watching 💗

[@Californiansurfer]

15. Years ago, I ran into my high school sweet heart. It was like the Great Gaspy I wanted to live in the past. I then realized, I hated that time. 1980. Well, she ended up getting divorced which last year she called me.. I spent time with her, but I had no intrest, she was hurt. I have grown. Well, I did take her to the beach and taught her how to surf. That is my gift for her.. She found a new man. I hope she stays with this guy.. its true, we grow. Great talk… ❤❤❤❤

[@makelifemedicine]

@@Californiansurfer That's a wonderful story. And I think it's one that's shared by many people, in some form or another. Thank you for watching and for sharing 💗

[@KC-lg8qf]

Ran into mine 25 years later as well. 60 pounds heavier... divorced, with 2 kids. Wanted to "talk," to me. She didn't want to talk when I wanted to stay with her all those years ago. I ran

[@Quasartist]

The part about people tearing you down because you decided to reach for something better is too real. I stayed very stagnant as a person for a very, very long time, and in the past 2 or 3 years I finally decided to do something about it and change some things up. Suddenly even my mom but especially my brother were both angry about it, taking shots at me whenever possible. And for what? Because I decided I wanted to grow? You are 100% correct when you say that others can not cope with the idea, let alone the action, of looking their failures in the eye. It destroys so many people so quickly on the inside when they have to face the fact that they aren't living up to their potential.

[@makelifemedicine]

@@Quasartist yes, it is SO confronting to be faced with that realization. The majority of people DO NOT have the nervous system capacity to hold that level of self honesty. In order to face reality, you're required to take full responsibility for where you find yourself in life. Most people would rather live in delusion, where they are victims of circumstance and they cite those circumstances as reasons why success/joy/happiness eludes them.

[@Quasartist]

@@makelifemedicine Completely agree. Another crazy thing is that a lot of people also just don't know that they're settling for mediocrity. They spend their whole lives, or a large part of it, doing the same thing the same way with the same people present for the same results, but it's so natural that they don't understand that they are stuck and no longer growing. Kind of like how people get stuck in a job that was supposed to be a temporary stepping stone. They get comfortable and don't realize they've allowed themselves to live in a cage instead of spreading their wings freely and living their lives in a way that free will and freedom of choice allows, living a life that they want and could achieve with just a little grit and determination. Choosing instead to be bound by the chains they forged themselves. They hate being met with this idea as well because it brings to light and magnifies the fact that they've spent so much time developing a sunk cost fallacy. If it gets better now, then those decades of mediocrity sting a lot more, so it's easier to stay stagnant and live in delusion like you said.

[@DivaDivine88]

Being celibate and finding God, spiritually, tarot, astrology, and learning about narcissistic abuse completely changed my life and perspective.. solitude is my peace

[@sp3357]

❤ this is the god honest truth I throw fasting in there also and it really opened up my eyes.

[@Trooperuss]

This chick gets it! Congrats for evolving.

[@makelifemedicine]

@@Trooperuss Thanks! Thank you for watching 💗

[@davidfarrall]

You’ve got it sussed, young lady. Keep on your path and keep on elevating yourself. Enjoy.

[@MelissaPlessinger]

You are right. I did exactly what you are saying after my divorce. I messed up big time by going back.

[@makelifemedicine]

Dang, I'm sorry to hear that. But, we have ALL done it so don't be so hard on yourself. Were you able to make the right choice for yourself eventually?

[@dasshcamguy8894]

This is one of the more inspiring videos I've seen on KZbin in a long time. I have a lot of friends going all the way back to the second grade and it feels like they want me to play my old role of the fool every time I'm around. I desperately want to move out of Illinois I also can't stand the cold and I love the ocean and have dreams of it my entire life. I lived in California for 9 months and it was as happy as I ever was but I missed so I came back to the Midwest to be here for her. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about living in California and how much better I slept and felt about myself and life. It's like the people you know and grow up with and even your family don't really want you to change or succeed. It's a bitter pill to swallow but it seems to be true in many people's lives.

[@makelifemedicine]

Thank you so much ❤ Yes, it's a really difficult mold to break but it can be done. You have to put yourself, your happiness and contentment first, though. Just reading what you've written, it sounds to me like you may want to have a very real and honest conversation with yourself about what you're allowing to dictate your choices. We get one shot at this thing. Whatever you have to do, find a way to make those dreams of yours a reality. I know you can do it. 😉

[@RenegadeHistory95]

“Like trying to squeeze into clothes that no longer fit”. 💯🎯 you said it perfectly.

[@SonnyL3773]

Went back to my hometown, I'm not regretting it, but I've definitely outgrown it and feel lost.

[@SonnyL3773]

Did it for financial reasons, but I'm just not that person anymore and I'm trying to grow as a person and grow in life. Feel pretty stuck right now!

[@SonnyL3773]

This one hit hard!

[@makelifemedicine]

@@SonnyL3773 I get it. Sometimes it can be a smart strategic, short term move, but if it feels restrictive and confining, you gotta have a plan to change (for example , once you reach your goal of saving a certain amount of money, or paying off debt, etc) Thank you for watching 💗

[@SonnyL3773]

That was the plan, save money, get out of debt, but an old house thats paid off is a money pit with updates needed. The plan is crashing and burning, so now it all falls on me and i dont even want to be here.​@makelifemedicine

[@SamraySimon-fy7sq]

You couldn't be more correct. That was EXACTLY what I needed to hear and EXACTLY when I needed to hear it.

[@makelifemedicine]

@@SamraySimon-fy7sq Wow, I am so glad to hear that! 💗

[@JAYSONGS]

Yep. Sometimes you just can’t. And it’s not ‘wrong’ or a problem. It’s growth, as said. Thank you for the affirmation.

[@makelifemedicine]

@@JAYSONGS Yes, absolutely!

[@ahmeds.mansour1293]

It’s comforting somehow.. to hear a person speaks your feelings in words.

[@Malitubee]

Once I stopped drinking, and all other recreational things I won’t mention. A lot of these relationships started to fall away naturally, I was the absolute worst version of myself hanging around a certain group of people since I left them I’ve elevated myself so much. I have my third interview coming up in two days for a tech company that should jumpstart my career. Financially, I’m in a much better place . Mentally and emotionally, I’m much more stable as well.

[@makelifemedicine]

@@Malitubee I'm so happy to hear that. It's not an easy thing to do. Good for you 💗💗

[@RenegadeHistory95]

Great job! 🎉💎

[@philipberlanda]

You can live in your home town and be happy. You dont have to be a people pleaser and be friends with all the same people you use to.

[@makelifemedicine]

@@philipberlanda absolutely. To each his own. I'm speaking to the people who have an internal knowing that it isn't the right choice for them. But of course, for some people it IS the right choice ❤️

[@MiaStayingCreative]

I agree w living in your hometown and being happy. I live in my hometown and I’m living proof! No anti-depressants here! There was a time in my life I was always escaping, in fact I visited a total of 10 countries. But home will ALWAYS be home. And nothing beats being around my Mother as she ages- she’s the best person I know. ❤

[@makelifemedicine]

@MiaStayingCreative I'm glad you are happy there 💗

[@goldbrick2563]

@@MiaStayingCreativeyeah i feel a lot of people try to use travel as a way of escaping themselves and the emptiness of their life. They are sometimes some of the most unsettled and unhappy people.

[@Lemarchelesa]

True sometimes. There is the story of the prodigal son, though. Sometimes you leave because you need to find out who you are and experience things, and it gives you a new appreciation for and different perspective on what you left behind. Then if and when you return, you return with a whole new outlook. So I wouldn’t say it is always wrong to go back. Sometimes growth is like a spiral. Your understanding is at a higher place so when you circle back, you are physically in the same place but a whole other level.

[@BonnieSetliff]

delightful-video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him*

[@PatriziaAccardi-w3u]

Its difficult to let go of someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but I couldn't just let him go. I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back*

[@BonnieSetliff]

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do I reach one.?

[@PatriziaAccardi-w3u]

Her name is Maurice Gleti, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex...

[@BonnieSetliff]

Thank you for this valuable information, I just looked him up online. impressive.

[@the_famous_reply_guy]

It's because your old with lesser options now and deep down you know it, what's left is damage goods at the back of the shelf.

[@DrmCom2003]

The people from the past also treat you the same way too. I reached a point a long time ago that people's problems and gossip are just noise to me. Most people don't truly grow. This is what I learned a long time ago. If they do, they grow into a career or a specific role.

[@makelifemedicine]

@@DrmCom2003 you are not wrong 😉

[@thepragmatist]

Great points.

[@makelifemedicine]

@thepragmatist thank you!

[@marcusharley3064]

Even the bible says, do not look back at the plow. Life is about moving forward, If you go back, you will feel like you gave up.

[@mollysreadings4845]

This is true.

[@MythsScamsLies]

I never fit into the town that I grew up in. I never fit into the family that I grew up in. My life before I left all of that behind was just a series of incidents where I was sorted out and told to behave according to the norms of that place. I got away to a large city but I needed to go even further. I needed to leave the country and disappear essentially. If you're struggling and you can't be yourself because of the expectations of others, of society, you need to put some real distance between yourself and where you are now. You will never be your true self until you're in a situation where all of the nagging ceases to happen.

[@TrevorBarker_14]

Wow. I moved back to my hometown after not living there for ten years. This explains exactly how I’ve been feeling. Thank you for this ❤

[@makelifemedicine]

@@TrevorBarker_14 I'm so glad! And also really excited for you and your new channel! 😉 Keep putting out those vids, no matter what! 💗💗

[@TrevorBarker_14]

oh my goodness, thank you for the encouragement ❤️ I need it!

[@makelifemedicine]

@@TrevorBarker_14 Just keep reminding yourself you are doing it for YOU. Not for anyone else. Not even your subscribers. You are doing it to fulfill a creative calling that's coming from inside of you. So DO NOT let anything external stop you from making this dream happen! 💗💗

[@SallyBowles5050]

I needed to hear this!!!

[@makelifemedicine]

@@SallyBowles5050 Yay, I'm so glad to deliver it to you!

[@MH-yx1pv]

Yes, everytime I visit my family in my hometown. It feels so alien because you recognize so many things because you know... you can't go back. I am different... my hometown is different.. The theaters you knew are gone.. the bars that you had amazing parties are gone. I just try to enjoy my family and look forward to getting back on the plane.

[@makelifemedicine]

That's a great way to approach it. I treat it similarly ❤

[@Riddingwithvivian]

I had this friend and he picked up his gf coming from germany for a visit and she told him that she cheated on him while in germany...my friend did a u turn in the middle of the road and drove her back to the airport without saying a word. so yeah never go back and also as a caveat...keep moving forward!

[@LenEnders]

This hit hard. Exactly what I needed to hear today! Recently left my hometown for a life reset but find that my mind continues to live there in the form of FOMO & ruminating on past relationship, etc. I know this will fade as I move forward (it's only been a few weeks sunce I dipped out) but at the moment it's pretty annoying. Your words were helpful!! ❤❤

[@Rich-Nov1469]

I stumbled upon this accidentally I almost feel like you spoke all of this for me! This is exactly how I feel, I 100% relate!

[@makelifemedicine]

@@Rich-Nov1469 oh I am so very glad to hear that! Thanks for watching 💗

[@madvillainy6845]

You're the second person I've speaking on this topic in 2 weeks.

[@makelifemedicine]

@@madvillainy6845 it's so relevant for a lot of people!

[@kennypham3856]

Agreed, mostly. People are envious, and shouldn't be trusted so easily.

[@makelifemedicine]

Gotta have your antennas up 😉

[@kennypham3856]

@@makelifemedicine Haha.

[@zippagraphics]

Personally I like seeing how far my friends and former colleagues have come in life, and I don't think it's a bad thing to catch up with them and remember and celebrate the great things that they brought in to my life at one point. I remember that song from nursery school "Make new friends, and keep the old. One is Silver and the other is Gold." You do you though.

[@PhrankBlunt]

We sang that in Girl Scouts as well 🤞🎵👂💎

[@riffraffrichard]

I think it’s possible to grow and change and be unwaveringly authentic around people from your past. You may not relate in the same way as you did before or spend time the same way but true friends and family are happy to see you in a better place. It helped me when I did a lot of inner work to reconnect my family and lose my people pleaser qualities while respectfully agreeing to disagree. I also learned to appreciate the journey I’d taken and the love they had given in my younger years while integrating some of my newer perspectives and healing old self confidence wounds. Ultimately when my family seen I was generally happier they were happy for me.

[@Oliasn8]

What a wonderful summation of the sometimes side effects of growth. I don’t find these observations at all hierarchical or at the expense of others, or those people or situations that no longer participate in our lives as they once did. Assessment and boundary reinforcement are very necessary tools if we are indeed intent on continuing to evolve. The pushback is inevitable. It is quite often the most direct indicator of being on the right path forward. Thank you for your perspective on this topic. You describe it quite well. I appreciate your energy and directness with your posts. From a fellow former Wisconsinite 🧀 All the best to you🙏🏻

[@jimcypher]

Getting sober helped me.

[@makelifemedicine]

@@jimcypher Saaaaaame 🙌🏼

[@drewstar412]

I am a few seconds in. Yes, when I left Phoenix AZ to join the military in 1991, I was bored of this city. Late 20s, I had ate at all the nice places, went to the nice bars, establishments, etc. I decided to come back after my service in 1998. And I never felt like I belonged. Not really welcomed. I always wished I had not come back. So I'd rather move to a place, where no one knows me. A place where I am just treated genuinely well, as I treat others in kind. And so true, we all grow. I grew out of things we did, and they grew out of things we did too. They got married, lived that live, and their wives never like me, because I represented their wild past. When you live overseas, it definitely brings a new mindset as an American. I felt more welcomed overseas, then I did in the USA. Being in the military, I just didn't stay in the barracks. I would go out and see the sites, talk to the people, and experience life. And I nearly didn't experience life like some others did. However, most soldiers, just stuck to staying on base. And this was in a country that was considered a third world country at the time. Jobs, nah, when I leave a job, it's because that job burned that bridge with me, ZERO reason to go back. Going back, is like me tucking my tail between my legs. Plus, I have always had A LOT of bad managers. Really bad luck with that.

[@junxiangwong852]

This video resonates with me so much. I returned from an overseas exchange programme and thought things back home would be better, but they were still the same. In fact, I felt that many people gave off the vibe that I should just pretend it was one nice dream. I want to live and move overseas and have been taking some small steps to work towards it - though it may not make sense to a lot of people, I tell myself to stay true to myself and live a life of no regrets.

[@everchampionyt]

I am so grateful I came across your video beloved. I needed to see this. I feel seen and heard by all of your words here.🙏🏾

[@makelifemedicine]

@@everchampionyt I'm so glad you did, too! You ARE seen and heard here 💗

[@goldbrick2563]

Its interesting to watch this. I dont travel a lot, but ive still outgrown people who do. You don't have to move somewhere to grow emotionally and spiritually.

[@texan903]

I would move to my hometown only once I'm done with my goals or if my parents happen to need my help. When I visited for a funeral, my grandfather and cousin made clear to me that I'm discarded. My grandfather really takes a negative position towards those who leave the area because he's bitterly envious that he didn't leave.

[@lilsumpn]

One part of outgrowing old stuff is if I do revisit I don't expect anyone to be different... there is no reflection.

[@makelifemedicine]

@@lilsumpn That's a great perspective to have!

[@lilsumpn]

@makelifemedicine yeah, then it's kinda like watching a rerun...like you know what's gonna happen but there is some comfort in nostalgia

[@SynUglyPPl]

I wish I had seen this before leaving my hometown 6 years ago, and after moving away, I have seen immediate progress

[@makelifemedicine]

@@SynUglyPPl trust the timing! who knows? Maybe you wouldn't have listened back then 😉

[@GreekGypsy]

When i reconnected with an old friend, she kept reminding me of the worst times of my past she wasn't interested in current times. I cut her off

[@makelifemedicine]

@@GreekGypsy I know the feeling. I'm glad you did that for yourself.

[@GreekGypsy]

​@@makelifemedicine❤

[@WorldT]

100% all true, having talking to people from former work places. , does feel being out of place, many are still the same, and the endless circle, endless fake gossip still existed with same people in the same place, not worth going back, even in times when one needs a temporary job, often the mental health aspect comes first, thanks on sharing this so much, knowing I am not the only one who sees this as well.

[@makelifemedicine]

@@WorldT You are absolutely not the only one! 💗

[@festernassociates]

Shes totally right... Ive done all of it multiiple times and its never worth it... Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do but it will always come with a price

[@SkyBlue-bs7uj]

Thanks for Sharing, I absolutely Agree, because what you shared i been through and i do understand and feel what you been telling us i appreciate

[@makelifemedicine]

@@SkyBlue-bs7uj Thank you for watching 💗

[@SkyBlue-bs7uj]

@@makelifemedicine My pleasures ☺

[@painteddesertman3939]

Wow! I don’t know how I found you, but this is just what I needed to hear. I fear KZbin knows me better than I do. Also, excellent analysis. I want more of this. Subscribed and liked!

[@makelifemedicine]

😆the algorithm is a creepy MFer, haha. Yay, I'm so glad you enjoyed the video. Thank you so much for subbing 💕

[@painteddesertman3939]

@@makelifemedicine you are most welcome. The pleasure is mine!

[@HeatherSt.Therese]

This video really ressignated with me! Just subscribed!!

[@makelifemedicine]

@@HeatherSt.Therese oh yay! I'm so glad it did. Thank you for being here 🙏🏼💗

[@millenka8089]

I appreciate your insights. This happened to me with my own family and siblings. As I grew up and matured I realized I became a completely different person from them. And at family reunions I felt like I had to diminish myself, like you said, to fit in with them. I’m still in contact with them but I definitely feel a disconnect from them.

[@makelifemedicine]

@@millenka8089 I feel you. You're in good company here 💗

[@Raccoon_Chic]

Such a good video ! I have gone back to all 3 of these things at some point in my life and they never turned out well. If anything , they made my life worse and I’m still healing from some of it .

[@JamilaJibril-e8h]

Relax it's easy when you relax....

[@makelifemedicine]

@@Raccoon_Chic I'm so sorry 😔 I do think the majority of us have done it. Forgive yourself 🙏🏼❤️

[@TWBarb]

I’m back home. It’s not exactly the town I grew up in, it’s one town over about 30 miles eastbound. Left 15 yrs ago to big city. After pandemic hit us, I ended up having to come back and live with my mom. I’m 43. I tell you that 💯 % of what you are saying is right on the money! I feel triggered a lot. I feel Like a teenager all over again and I can’t wait to get back on my own two feet again. Luckily, I was gone long enough that most people here from my past, we have no connections anymore. Which is fine! Oh and the folks who never left, well some of are already dead from drinking too much, or some other tragedy.. I knew from a very early age that I WAS NOT GOING TO BE TRAPPED and now I refuse to be trapped again! My experience and knowledge is, and will always be, here with me and no small town/old-never-changed mentalities’ can take my experiences and wisdom away. Thanks for a great video!! Edit to add: Holy crap we are kindred spirits!! I quit drinking as well and that’s a huge reason I’m so disconnected from the small Town alcoholic mentality here in Montana!! I also have family in Wisconsin! Gurrrl! 😂❤❤❤

[@makelifemedicine]

Haha, very similar experiences! The cold and boring places really churn out the lifeless, unmotivated, depressed alcoholics, don't they? I'm glad that you are in a great place mentally to be able to endure your current circumstances. Just keep your eye on the prize and you'll get there 😉 Funny enough, I just posted a follow up video to this one!

[@Malitubee]

Oh my god !!! This is 10000% facts.

[@makelifemedicine]

@@Malitubee 😉💗

[@hortonharry3492]

"You can never go home again" Thomas Wolfe. Author of "Look Homeward Angel."

[@makelifemedicine]

@@hortonharry3492 sounds like a great read!

[@hortonharry3492]

@@makelifemedicine Three you tube videos that relate more analysis on the novel Look Homeward Angel as well as Thomas Wolfe's life.: Look Homeward Angel Review - Relish Books donor. Look Homeward Angel by Thomas Wolfe - Novelzilla - donor. "Thomas Wolfe, Great American Author" John Fenzel donor. Fourthly, the web site. Look Homeward Angel - wikipedia gives a concise thorough summation of the plot and character of the novel. I went to the University of North Carolina some years back and Thomas Wolfe too attended the University of North Carolina many years ago. Thomas Wolfe is considered a great American author and is world famous for that matter. Look Homeward Angel is read by many University students in their English and literature courses.Definitely give it a read. Also enjoyed your video!

[@reneenordeen9447]

I've done all of the above and its destroyed me. Family and the locals from your hometown love to rake people who left (and came back) over the coals and make a joke out of you. I now interact with no one and I used to be very social and relatively fearless. Now I'm the scourge of the earth. Never. Ever. Go. Back.

[@makelifemedicine]

@@reneenordeen9447 I'm sad that you let it affect you so much 😞

[@reneenordeen9447]

@@makelifemedicine I had no choice, I didn't "let" it affect me. My family scapegoated me, again and dragged my name through the mud and decided they deserved my share of the inheritance. And they didn't stop there, they tried to turn my son against me too, but thankfully he's come back around. This isn't a matter of LETTING THEM, It's total destruction of my reputation for money and ego. I'll never talk to them again.

[@teedotfoster]

No lies told. Great stuff!

[@makelifemedicine]

@@teedotfoster thank you for watching! I'm glad you enjoyed 😁💗

[@Astral_Dusk]

Spot on and nostalgia of the past often has a bias of the positive aspects, even if the negative ones significantly outweighed them. If past people no longer in our life or social circle (for a reason) get upset about us respectfully rejecting their offer to come back - so be it - they are responsible for their reaction. A huge aspect of personal integrity and values remains resilient and frankly humble with a greater prospect for our own life in the face of negative reactions, haters, whichever. It recognizes we actually don't live forever and respect our own time and energy to share it best with the most meaningful things, people, places that align with our more authentic self.

[@makelifemedicine]

@@Astral_Dusk very well said. Those are fantastic insights ❤️

[@danielnicholson25]

im 31 and stuck in my hometown... sucks. Everyone hates me here basically, but oh well. Trying everything i can to make money and get out, idc if I gotta do immoral shit at this point. If i could get money on OF at this point, I would. Can't take it anymore

[@makelifemedicine]

@@danielnicholson25 Just stay focused on where you're headed and try not to let the emotion associated with where you are now, affect you too much. 😉

[@YazminM2222]

Thank u. It is true. Only if you have no choice, but even, then you end losing when you do that 😭 It is really hard to do because when you outgrown people most of the time you went through a lot to get there and you feel nobody understands you, that's why you go back

[@NFSMAN50]

This popped up in my recommendations. This is soo true. I never go back to the old place or my old self because I have grown up and developed since then❤. People will say that you changed.❤❤ You have a new subscriber!

[@phoenix_heart1111]

Thank you for your attention on this topic !!🙏 👏 😊 I was going to back to my old job then came across your video. Love it ❤️. Thanks again. Moving forward in life is key to my success. 🙌

[@makelifemedicine]

@@phoenix_heart1111 oh gosh, just in time 😂 Save yourself! 😉 Thanks for commenting 💗

[@GregAndler]

Thanks..Very Good

[@NewTruths]

Wow- all of this. Thank you

[@makelifemedicine]

@@NewTruths My pleasure 💗 Thanks for watching!

[@RiverWhisperPrd]

I wish all my relatives could hear this.

[@makelifemedicine]

Send it to them 😂

[@quentinshimek367]

"Become so good that nothing or no one can stop you."- Tom Bilyeu

[@makelifemedicine]

@@quentinshimek367 That's right! 🙌🏼

[@db5960]

I love your content !!!!

[@makelifemedicine]

@@db5960 I appreciate you! Thank you for watching 🥹💗

[@TheRightTriangle00-x2g]

You really didn’t need to say much more. But I’m glad I heard everything you said. It’s spot on. I hate going to people from the past who I’ve told what I’ve gone through each year for the past five years. They don’t notice how much things have happened to me and how all those things have changed me and how I behave and think. Just to keep trying to talk to me like I’m the same person ten to fifteen years ago. I can’t do this anymore. Begone!

[@makelifemedicine]

@@TheRightTriangle00-x2g Yes, I can definitely relate. Look after yourself, first and foremost 💗 Thank you for watching the vid 🙏🏼

[@JustKenExisting]

Thank you so much!

[@CC-br9qg]

i can't afford to move out of my hometown in this economy. "not going back" is an incredible privilege. I'm 25 and have never been able to afford to move out of my dad's house. it's traumatizing.

[@makelifemedicine]

@@CC-br9qg everyone's circumstances are unique, of course. I wonder why you haven't been able to afford it? Obviously I do not know you, but I would be asking myself whether there are some limiting beliefs at play 🤔 It's something to consider. You may not believe you deserve the life you desire, which would then lead you to making choices subconsciously that sabotage your ability to get to that desired reality. Like I said, I don't know so that's just my gut reaction. But speaking from personal experience, I've definitely been there.

[@CC-br9qg]

@@makelifemedicine Because I grew up in the 2nd or 3rd highest cost of living city in the country, where people pay 1800 per month to rent a bedroom in a shared apartment with cockroaches, and i can’t find an entry level job with my degree that pays a livable wage. Can’t even get a call back from a job out of state. This economy is robbing Gen Z of their young formative years and this video comes off as tone deaf

[@CC-br9qg]

@@makelifemedicine i grew up in the 2nd or 3rd highest cost of living city in the country, where people pay 1800 per month to rent a bedroom in a shared apartment with cockroaches, and i can’t find an entry level job with my degree that pays a livable wage. Can’t even get a call back from a job out of state. This economy is robbing Gen Z of their young formative years and this video comes off as tone deaf

[@roberthanson5157]

Wow! I live in Wisconsin! Grew up in Appleton and live in Schofield now!

[@roberthanson5157]

I quit drinking at 38. Glad I did

[@pinkribbonrailroad1157]

"Going back" for sure is trouble. Right now, I'm in the same physical place I've been for years and where I've built a life, but the circumstances of my life have changed materially (loss of a spouse). I find others expect me to move forward after this material change just as I was before the change--it's suffocating. It causes me to travel more to escape that feeling and seriously consider a new start elsewhere. The common thread seems to be growth minded people versus status quo minded people. So many people I know are content in the agony of their known lives/relationships (better the devil you know, I guess) than they are willing to overcome the fear of growth and change in a possibly much happier tomorrow--so they muddle through and take offense almost when we don't do the same. I hope that makes sense--I feel it could be said better. Thanks, as always, for sharing your insightful thoughts--you rock!

[@ka9202]

0:56 I can't tell you how many teachers wrote "Stop Daydreaming!" at the top of my assignments growing up!

[@makelifemedicine]

@@ka9202 you were meant to break free ❤️ I hope you ignored them.

[@ka9202]

@@makelifemedicine I'm starting to. Great videos please please please don't stop making them!

[@makelifemedicine]

@@ka9202 Good, I'm very glad to hear that! And I certainly will not stop. Thank you so much for your support 💗

[@mattg5978]

I think it depends on what the conditions are. You cannot 'go back' but it's possible to return: maturity can't be reversed. I returned to my hometown because the standard of living is high, the rent is low, and it's 2 hours from a few major cities. I made this decision because I'm a visual artist and I value my time. Even though I do art shows and I'm a painter, I only really like to spend time with musicians, but you have to be doing something with it. Oh yeah, and I live on the opposite side of town.

[@makelifemedicine]

@@mattg5978 Absolutely, 100%. I did a follow-up video to this and I talked about exactly what you have described 💗

[@AnonymousAnonymous-l2i]

I let my old friend back in my life, he tried to remind me that my place should be below him as it was before.

[@nataliemores]

Wow really feeling this now!! Almost feels like I’m regressing back in my home town. I’m not planning on staying but it’s cheaper to live here and comfortable/safe while I finish my online college classes without additional stress, but definitely feels strange being pulled back to my old self who I worked hard to change. when I graduate in 6 months and have money saved I will move again and not move back here again.

[@Grace-jb7me]

Divine timing. Just scared and frustrated that the next steps aren’t clear

[@makelifemedicine]

@@Grace-jb7me they won't be until you take action 😉💗

[@panchopantera7]

Love this. Backwards is against my nature and it’s so comforting to know I’m not the only one who feels that way ❤

[@Mycescos]

Wow. Love this talk. It really applies to me. It’s hard to move on but we have to

[@makelifemedicine]

@@Mycescos I'm glad it resonated with you. Thank you for taking the time to watch 🙏🏼

[@ewhite3691]

This is just what I needed to hear. Going back to my hometown, especially after becoming spiritual (Eckhart as well) was a total disaster for me LoL.

[@makelifemedicine]

@@ewhite3691 you'll never be able to pull off that move 😂 you're past the point of no return. Once you've Seen, you can't unsee. Once you Know, you can't unknow (not a word, but ya know 🤓). It's a burden worth bearing though 🙏🏼😉❤️

[@ewhite3691]

@makelifemedicine I was living my life, having an amazing and magical spiritual journey. Turns out my sister was "meticulously" keeping track of everything I have ever done all while spinning it into the most negative and unflattering portrait of my possible. Then right in the middle of COVID she drops it all on me. I was completely blindsided. It left me with shooting pain in my brain for two years. That's just one of the things that happened. Oh well, at least I'm not like them anymore.

[@makelifemedicine]

@@ewhite3691 I am so sorry to hear this. Makes me really sad, AND I can relate to your experience in many ways. Just know that you are not alone in this, and trust that no matter what other people's perception of you, it is not true. They have an experience of you that is colored by their own personal filters that have nothing to do with you. It can be so painful though, to feel so misunderstood by the people you love, especially when their false perception is so negative. It hurts, I know. They are missing out on the beauty of You ❤

[@ewhite3691]

@@makelifemedicine thank you so much for the kind words. It really helps to feel validated by someone who actually understands ❤️

[@makelifemedicine]

@@ewhite3691 believe me, I do. You're in good company here 😉💗

[@noahfranks984]

Yep. Just moved back to the Midwest after living on the west coast. It's a big bummer.

[@makelifemedicine]

😆big bummer is the perfect way to describe it. I'm from the Midwest, too, so I get it. Hopefully you can escape again 😉

[@mikejohn0088]

Moved from today's rust belt 47 yrs. ago (job transfer) to SOCA which was paradise. Paradise has now changed radically so I ponder about returning to "my roots." However at 78YO (alone) I don't think I could make the move emotionally or physically. I live in the low desert where the sun shines 80% of the time while the rust belt is dismally overcast and winter is like a prison. One thing for sure if I left SOCA there could be no Uturn --no going back to the desert at my age and I would be priced out. Channels like this illuminate the obvious to me which is what I really need = to reinforce what I already know! Shalom my dear!

[@makelifemedicine]

@mikejohn0088 Thank you so much for your your incredibly thoughtful comment! I completely understand your sentiment. I think that as long as the "radical changes" don't seem to have a negative impact on your day today, than I would definitely stay put where you are. It does sound wonderful. And I personally cannot endure those dismal winters where I come from in the Midwest, either.

[@coreyschneider4041]

Just came across this video. Glad I seen it through to the end. I feel like I’m gonna apply your ideas and thoughts into my life to help me move forward. Can’t wait to watch a 2nd, 3rd and more videos of yours!!!

[@Thedesertguy75]

its completely true though, I have done a lot of traveling and going back to a place that i left because at that time I felt there was nothing more to do or learn there. Even though going back is like a time vault, and its interesting to see how a place has changed or stayed the same, its NEVER the same....There is no recreating the past, when its over, its over. It took me a LONG time to finally accept that. There is no greener grass eventually, Ive learned to appreciate where i am and who i am with as much as possible.

[@OAIOLDK]

Daydreaming??? I skipped school starting at age 9. I needed to see the world outside of the boring classroom. I kept my old report cards from my teachers. Those report cards serve as a reminder of what I was destined to do with my life. It was the motivation of the name of my channel.

[@michaelstaat6615]

Thanks for sharing your wisdom

[@makelifemedicine]

@@michaelstaat6615 Of course! Thank you so much for watching 💗

[@lorensims4846]

You can never go home again. I have been back to old neighborhoods and I barely even recognize them anymore. I keep seeing videos about "how to get her back if she leaves." Gimme a break! It's over. Move on! It's interesting to meet with old friends who have made new lives for themselves to see how they've changed but are still the same wonderful people they used to be. Old stories are fun but they're barely even relevant anymore. Tell me your new stories. I'm now living across the road from my sisters (who live next door to each other) after being away for more than twenty years. We're all retired now and we've all become rather interesting people. I am reaching back to access my "inner King" to better deal with the amazing change I experienced in high school. But high school reunions are almost unbearable anymore.

[@makelifemedicine]

That's hilarious! Why does your algorithm think you want "her" back, whoever she is? 😆 And I couldn't agree more. Old stories are definitely fun. Nostalgia feels good. But I'd rather talk about what's new, what you're excited about, what you're working towards, and how you feel about your life ❤ That is SO interesting. Wow...would you ever have believed someone if they would have told you that when you retire you'll live across the street from your sisters in your hometown? I've never been to a high school reunion. My class has never organized one.

[@lorensims4846]

@@makelifemedicine It's one of these "How to talk to women" videos I've started watching. Generally fascinating stuff. We're actually living quite rural, two counties north of the city where we went to high school. They closed the school three years after I graduated so the alumni association has been quite active. The building is 100 years old and the school itself has been in existence even longer. It's been through several incarnations since it closed and is now a middle school after one of the local ones outgrew its building. The new principal says the kids tend to think of the building as their own Hogwarts. Most of us have been back several times and there was a big centennial celebration last summer. I'm finding "nostalgia" to be quite cumbersome. I have far too much junk around here specifically due to this impulse. The past is past already.

[@makelifemedicine]

@@lorensims4846 It is fascinating, I agree. Oh my goodness, it sounds like a very rich community! That's actually pretty cool. And I imagine I would LOVE going to school there. Nostalgia is a heavy load to carry, for sure. Reminiscing brings back fond memories and can evoke emotions, but it can easily cross over into what is ultimately an unwillingness to LIVE IN THE PRESENT, and a romanticizing of the past that keeps a person from potentiating a truly fulfilling life. Because they are essentially in a constant state of low grade mourning (of the past). I think in most cases, there are things that they haven't made peace with yet. 🤔

[@hermanrosario7045]

funny thing is when you need to censor yourself around them. they will say things that are completely uneducated to the point you question if you really went to the same school together. its crazy to think we started on equal ground and they not only stagnated but slightly regressed

[@makelifemedicine]

@@hermanrosario7045 everyone's on a different path 😅

[@thatboringdude9429]

This is so true and it happened to me. I went back to my old town and regretted it for years. I managed to leave it again and it has been decades since I visited. And some people still gossip about the same things but it doesn't interest me.

[@agoogleuseranonymous2658]

I was first looking down on this video but you've definitely made points that hit home. I found myself in this situation on these two. Like I end up with people that i have 0 connection with(usually it is at work so I am expected to participate, by happy and smile). But I'm not happy with them because they are just coworkers that I bumped into by working here ... And yeah I moved out of my hometown, lived in a bigger city for about 10 years, then moved back mainly because it's much cheaper here and the pace is lower. I find it's just more my style(solitary, introverted, homebody in a smaller city). I wonder if I should move back. Part of me tells me to keep monkey branching and looking until I find my right workplace with the right people. But another part of me also tells me to be realistic because I did this earlier for 10 years and it hasn't fully worked out. I think the key is to be ambitious surely but also realistic. Like I think a simple way to answer this question is with logics. What do you care about? In my case, it's my job and my lifestyle. So the next question is am I here? If the answer is mostly yes, then that should be good enough.

[@makelifemedicine]

@@agoogleuseranonymous2658 I totally agree with you. It's going to look different for everyone. It depends on what you really want for yourself and your life. And then it's just making choices that align with those desires. Thank you for watching and sharing with me 💗

[@moveamuscle]

Great video. I needed to watch this. Thank you.

[@makelifemedicine]

@@moveamuscle oh thank you for watching! I'm glad you enjoyed 💗💗

[@Amayzun1]

When I was in high school, I ran around with the "bad kids" and did all kinds of silly stuff. I became a mom at 19, went to school to become a nurse, left my hometown/state and I ran into an ex when I went back home one time and he was like "you think you're better than me and you talk all proper" - like Wtf? I was like - no, I just grew up.... 😒. I used to have to go to my hometown to visit my dad. But thankfully he's moved away from there.

[@makelifemedicine]

@@Amayzun1 I totally understand. And that's right, you matured. It's often very difficult to evolve without shifting your environment, which your ex proved to you with his comment. I'm proud of you! 💗

[@peterlang777]

google "crab bucket situation" people in misery KEEP others around them in misery for company

[@o2boutdoors]

Powerful stuff for those of us who are stuck in ruts...

[@paul_domici]

Wow, this was really good! I was contemplating going back to an old job but that used to be kind of toxic! I was hoping it would be a better place now with new management but I doubt it!

[@makelifemedicine]

@@paul_domici it's rarely the case, but you never know! In my experience, it's usually worse 😂