New Baby Won’t Stop Screaming and I’m Exhausted!

[@ladycactus110]

Too many people have NO idea how needy an infant is. Sometimes you HAVE TO keep the infant against your body for long long times. I had a cozy night station on the living room couch for when the dad got grumpy. That was often. You wouldn’t believe how many books I read! Also may I add if a new mom is home with a child the dad should have ZERO expectations about a clean house and dinner on the table. We’re supposed to live in a village, where aunties and grandmas lend a hand on a daily basis. Now that families are totally isolated, the new mom is highly susceptible to depression.

[@universaltruth2025]

Yes - that is pretty much what the baby would prefer 24/7. I didn’t realise that was the natural way to be.

[@juli6497]

Best advice my grandmother gave me. When you feel the tension rising go put the baby in her crib, walk out and close the door. Then go choke some couch pillows, and go step outside and breath deeply. That physical release of tension was amazing. I was able to smile at the situation and come back 100% better for us both.

[@elyse443]

That’s good advice!

[@jannaraelserna8857]

What a good grandma!

[@jennabryan1658]

This is wild to think that people with this much anger for another human being (much less helpless) are allowed to procreate, and to think that “choking a couch pillow” as a wonderful alternative is profoundly disturbing.

[@mkultraviolenc3]

​@@jennabryan1658We know you're a perfect human being without any flaws whatsoever, Jenna.

[@Qwackdawack]

Take baby to chiropractor

[@anthearichter]

I had unplanned c-section with our first baby. He was colicky and gave us a hard time with sleeping at nights. He wouldn’t sleep unless we held him. We were not able to put him down in a crib. If we did, he would cry to the point he would throw up. Then, we would have to change the sheet for him to continue screaming and crying. Because my husband had to go to work and I didn’t have to, I encouraged my husband to sleep. I stayed up with our son. I did not get help during daytime either. I certainly did not want to hire baby nurse either nanny to help me because I saw one of the tv show where baby sitter was hitting crying baby just for crying. Those hard time, yes, I did have horrible thoughts. One day, I just held my creaming baby in front of a mirror, looking at myself holding him and said, “I Love You” over and over again to remind myself that I loved my baby. Whenever I felt overwhelmed, I would always hold him and look into the mirror and reminded myself how much I loved him out aloud. This is how I got through first few months. I have never told anyone what kind of horrible thought I had, but I found the way to learn to handle my baby.

[@IFBBProYeo]

👏👏👏👏👏👏 Amazing story!! I appreciate the candidness!

[@IFBBProYeo]

I'm not sure about the last story.. She really led with, I'm a blunt person I tell it like it is etc. some people use that as a shield from the consequences of what they say. Like an excuse to insult people, backhanded compliments, or skirt politeness. This when she explains herself, he just hears justification and excuses. That is valid too. I really want to hear the husband's side of this. I'm sure they can both own their faults! No one wants to walk around in eggshells but no one wants to be embarrassed frequently either. Plus to him it may feel passive aggressive, which can ruin relationships.

[@FrankS111]

My son is 2…being a parent makes you appreciate your parents 1000x more!

[@Homecomingfootball]

No made me realize how fucked up my parents are and I 💯 don't talk to them at all

[@jennabryan1658]

Not if you were abused/neglected/traumatized as a kid 😂

[@emmalouie1663]

Except that the parents signed up for it and the kids did not.

[@ghostophelia2245]

Made me realize how messed up my parents were to treat me the way they did.

[@brendanwalker7505]

I feel the struggle brother. You will get through this. I'm married with three kids. My wife and I have went back and forth, but with my youngest two after the breastfeeding stage I have chosen to carry most of the night duties. I have averaged around 4 hours of sleep a night for two years. Sleep deprivation is awful and it will eat away at your contentment. Find your peace brother. I have to tell myself often, "Be Still." I'm constantly reminding myself of priorities and things that matter. God, Wife, Kids, Work, etc. Pray fervently.

[@jill9606]

To the man with the newborn: this is the absolute hardest stage of the first year, in my opinion. My son is 11 months and OMG. when you’re not getting sleep, it’s so, so unbelievably hard to feel sane and survive each day! Please know that this will pass and you will be in a better place soon when baby is sleeping better. My heart is so with you! Dr. D’s advice is perfect. When you’re at your wit’s end, place the baby in a safe space like he said and just walk away- baby crying or not. You have to take care of yourself and you deserve to feel mentally good!

[@DNA350ppm]

A new-born cholicky baby has more or less constant tummy-aches for 3 to 4 months. Best advice I found in the sparse literatur (and nothing from specialist doctors and nurses) was not eating anything bloating myself, like dairy and gluten, and to carry baby as in primitve societies, his tummy against my tummy almost exactly round the clock. So I even slept with him in his soft snugly-carrier sideways, made house-hold chores with him in his carrier, and ate with him in this close position. And only sometimes 3-minute showers for me, but not daily. Quick diaper changes for him. Then he screamed like pierced. But regardless there were people who didn't even believe he had the cholics, because the carrying worked so well for him. My aching body was easier to endure, than the helpless tortured screams of the newborn. But we survived, together. The daddy didn't have the patience needed to help much, regrettably. But we survived that, too. 😀

[@reneeca5696]

@DNA350ppm God bless you Momma❤

[@DNA350ppm]

@@reneeca5696 Thank you, dear. May you be blessed, too, for your kindness!

[@savedbyjesuschrist9748]

Proud of you, lady! You're a warrior!!!

[@DNA350ppm]

@@savedbyjesuschrist9748 Thank you so much! It is curious how necessity brings out the strength in you, isn't it - it seems you know it! 🙂

[@savedbyjesuschrist9748]

@@DNA350ppm youre exactly right, friend!

[@TeenaNikole]

My husband has a demanding career and he literally went back to work TWO weeks after I gave birth. I thought I could handle it, but I snapped at the 5th month mark. My son wouldn’t stop screaming and crying even during nap times, I just slammed the door and called my dad crying my eyes out. My son is 3 now he’s the best boy, super close to me and so outgoing and smart. I’m so proud looking at him. I think the hard times were worth it. But idk if I’d do it all over again lol.

[@emily814]

Bruh my husband gets no time off. Hoping it goes ok.

[@comment_account2343]

I had to go back to teaching 10 days after giving birth because my husband was unemployed, no benefits. That was fun I was still bleeding. Yeah USA with so many exceptions for FMLA.

[@TeenaNikole]

@@comment_account2343 wow! Sorry you had to go through that. Who took care of your baby?

[@AMK544]

@@TeenaNikole she said her husband was unemployed so presumably he did

[@TeenaNikole]

@@AMK544 good call I missed that part. Tough though - postpartum recovery is rarely talked about but it’s very painful not to mention the mental aspect of iy

[@maryjambor3677]

Babies are fine to be left in their crib for the 10-15 minutes it takes to compose yourself. Go take a hot shower and just relax for a few minutes when things are getting too hard. They shouldn't be left to cry for hours and hours, but a short while isn't going to hurt them.

[@opinionbytriz]

.... idk how anyone can do that. I get so anxious with just the idea of the baby crying &I'm in the shower. I think of all the things that could be happening. Not to mention the crying itself gets me anxious

[@tazziemae4705]

There should be a way grandmom's could sign up at our church to "babysit" when new parents need some help. We the grandmom's have forgotten more than they know and would love to rock a newborn for a couple of hours while the new mom naps.

[@sarahholland2600]

That could be tricky. My Grandma's chronic age related sight & hearing issues meant she wasnt safe to be unsupervised with me as a baby.

[@dorothywillms115]

Oh dear. I was a first child. Mom went out to hang the washing up and when she came back she found me hanging on the little nobs they used to have on the railings of cribs. Things happen. I was a few months old. Don’t worry gramma isn’t going to kill your baby and if she has dementia well she’s likely in the old saints home anyway.

[@sarahholland2600]

@@dorothywillms115 Google the US Grandma who had 2 Grandchildren die in her care . The first, 2yrs old, wandered off & drowned on their property. The 2nd, she drove home from a lunch she also took the child to , where she drank wine , left the child in the car , went to sleep & the child died of heatstroke. Drink problem ?

[@thatamychic3517]

@@sarahholland2600you're a bit off on the storyline of events, but correct as far as a brother and sister passing away in the care of their grandmother (their mothers mom). The first child did drown in the lake behind her house at the age of 2yo (I believe), and at the time of his death, the child's mother was pregnant with his sister. The very first time the parents allowed the grandmother to have their second baby on her own was when she was less than a year old (I want to say she was about 6mo) and the grandmother brought the baby with her to a girls luncheon to show her off to all her friends. The baby had been fast asleep for the entire ride home and the grandmother had forgot she was with her and the baby passed away in the car from the heat. What's crazy too is that the grandmother at the time of both deaths was the principal of an elementary school.

[@heybeautiful9360]

I have four months old it gets better. The first month was hard i was emotional and cried for my mommy every day 😆 she lives in Africa. My husband convinced me well go to Africa once baby gets his two month shot but after 2 months i started to feel better. He’s four months now he wakes up every 4-5 hours for feeding. Trust me it will get better. This is just a temporary it will pass.

[@MaMa-jh6bb]

Pray over the baby. May God calm the baby and take away any discomfort it may have, and for yourself for patients and strength 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@Petruskinhap972]

Unpopular opinion here: If only mom is able to get maternity leave, mom should be the one waking up in the middle of the night on weekdays . Newborns nap a lot, so whoever is staying home at least gets a chance to rest a bit. He still has to get up early and work a full shift and interact with others. Btw, I am a woman who has had a c section and work full time now that my daughter is 4. I know feminism says everything should be equal but having 2 adults completely exhausted and burned out is not only terrible for the marriage but also for the poor baby. My husband stayed with the baby after work so I could relax, he did bath, etc. I did night shift Sunday - Thursday. Husband did nights Friday and Saturdays so he could always sleep well before work . It worked out well for us.

[@KA-ky9nb]

I agree . My husband slept in the spare bedroom when she was tiny . Now she’s in her own room he has moved back in . But when she has regressions going on he moves back in . I don’t manage to nap in the day . I’m just not wired that way . But I do get to sit and do nothing if I fancy it !

[@Olive47223]

I have 3 sons, many grandchildren. All of my sons and their wives wanted to do it all themselves with their first child. Which I understood and respected. But all on the second child asked for help. All greatly appreciated that I could be there 24/7 for a few weeks but could respect their space and boundaries. I only helped when asked. Sometimes everything but the baby, sometimes I handled all night feedings. Extended family should be utilized. You don't have to do it all yourself. Bonding still happens. Especially with babies that struggle to eat or sleep in the first few months, having a 3rd adult who can assist is life changing.

[@savedbygrace777]

I remember those days, thought I would lose my mind! 🥲🥲

[@colleengarcia7752]

Me too!

[@hillarybillary21]

“The kid”…”the kid”…”the kid”… Red flag. Huge

[@m_n_a_b]

I thought so, too. He was distancing himself from his daughter.

[@laurahabbershaw2029]

Yes!!

[@healthybalance5748]

My thoughts exactly

[@IFBBProYeo]

I get it... The kid not "my kid". But he is only 14 days in or so. He's still learning to bond, and he is here to express frustration so it's not entirely unrelatable

[@savannahh3557]

New moms and dads please please please do not read this and think it is odd or a red flag to think of your new baby as "The Baby" or "The Kid" this is an absolutely normal part of postpartum and bonding with your child. Nothing against this commenter but it is absolutely normal for the first few months to struggle with this and it can be very hard on new moms struggling with postpartum to see comments like this.

[@Lioness_Es]

Yeah, so I'm confident enough within my self to know that I'm not cut out for motherhood/parenthood. Maybe there's a slim chance of helping out with charities who help children, but I could never put myself through pregnancy and childbirth and postpartum stuff. I feel bad saying this, but it's my truth.

[@tinadepetro9421]

I love babies! I can come over and help James. I’m a grandma of 4!

[@joreyn7656]

My husband did one of the night feedings during his 3 weeks of paternity leave. Once he went back to work, I took over all of the night feedings bc I'm a stay at home mom and he works. Our thought was that he needed to be rested to be able to work and I could nap during the baby's daytime naps. It was super hard bc I was only sleeping maybe 3 hours a night or so in 45 min chunks, but fortunately the baby started sleeping through the night around 12 weeks.

[@Wheres_Jackie]

You stay at home. He actually works. Stop whining. If you don't like it then you get a job and I'm sure he'd love staying home all day not doing anything and watching movies. Y'all want equality right?

[@razmiddle9410]

@@Wheres_Jackie You mean staying home with a crying baby who has non-stop needs that they can't communicate, doing the laundry, cooking, cleaning, and making and keeping all the family appointments? If you think that's the good life, then have at it!

[@joreyn7656]

@@Wheres_Jackie I think you misunderstood. I'm not whining at all.... I'm saying that's the system that we did and it worked for us. It obviously wasn't easy but it was also temporary. We were and are both perfectly happy with the arrangement.

[@joreyn7656]

@@razmiddle9410 being a stay at home mom is certainly not easy, I'm definitely busier than I ever was when I was working a 9-5 job, but it's also very rewarding. I consider myself blessed to be able to do this, even on the hard days, and even if it's just for a little while. But you're totally right, there is a LOT that needs to be done. It's like swapping a 9-5 job for a 24/7 job. Haha.

[@littlered3830]

@@Wheres_Jackie You’re single and childless aren’t you? I’m going to guess that will continue. Your misery and resentment toward women is very obvious. How sad for you.

[@th3_crappi3_kill3r]

We used a schedule. I get home from work, i stay up until 2-3am, i get up to go to work at 830am. Wife sleeps from 530-630pm until 2am. That worked for 3 months until the baby would sleep through the night.

[@raynamaldonado1058]

Love the team effort. God bless

[@cg741graf5]

Solid advice DeLony! Now add in cut all phone numbers of exes or any friend that talks smack about family life. Any inclination of the grass is greener without this small segment of life is a non starter. Hold strong in your marriage while you both work through the baby stage. 🌟👍🏻🙏🏻

[@maylinalegre9985]

The first weeks was tough with baby! I had my mom or MIL come at 6-7 AM (there were times the baby didn’t sleep the night) and we caught up with sleep then. It really does take a village!

[@annparker5060]

We understand! I had a c section and our baby girl woke up 3 times a night for MANY months

[@Cyanopteryx]

My now 4 month old spent basically the first 2.5 months of his life screaming. I'm breastfeeding and things started to get a bit better when I cut all caffeine and chocolate, but it was still pretty bad. We survived and our son is the happiest, chillest baby now. But I swear I have permanent hearing damage.

[@tuchus8781]

You must be a teenage parent

[@anneshirley9560]

@@tuchus8781 What? I'm 25, and had the same problem with my baby. She just turned four months today.

[@DeionSardines]

@@anneshirley9560 ok your exception to the rule. Just look at it as you’re special 🙂

[@josephinenelan4204]

My son gave me 3 hours of sleep for the first month, 4 hours during his second. A lot of screaming. Cutting out stuff didn't even help. I had bad colic as a baby, seems he got my issues. Fingers crossed this next one will sleep better. I felt that pain.

[@anneshirley9560]

@@DeionSardines Colic doesn't discriminate against the age of the mother.

[@jenw8323]

2 weeks was one of the hardest periods of time with breastfeeding at least for my four kids. We had to tag team those rough nights. But other “normal” nights of waking multiple times, I was the one who did all the night feedings, etc. Also, going off of dairy helped a ton! It took me 4 kids to figure that out, but my fourth is very sensitive to dairy and will. Not. Sleep, even at 12 months now If he or I have any. The doctors do not take this seriously in my experience, but for us it alleviated tummy aches, spitting up constantly, diarrhea, constipation, rashes on face, arms, diaper area, constant allergies and runny nose.

[@nikkizetlian4421]

I love washing your show Dr. Deloney.

[@jessicarose2548]

The 3rd caller's husband sounds exactly like my ex-boyfriend. Girl, I'm praying for you! I know exactly how you feel!

[@DogmaGirlAD]

Screaming babies can be hard.

[@comment_account2343]

some babies just won't sleep in a crib, especially if they have reflux. Some babies just need human contact. Unfortunately, parents are not offered any safe alternative to a crib when it doesn't work.

[@pickles432noname6]

When you get to that point….you have to be allowed to put the baby down and get out of earshot for a few minutes. Gather yourself, breathe and then go try again. My husband came home once while I was standing in yard. He went in the house to a crying baby and acted like I had threw her in a pond or something. He never helped me, but he sure had a lot of judgment to hand out.

[@jessicahebert6944]

I know this was posted 2 years ago, but my heart goes out to the dad here. I hope they navigated that difficult time ok and are enjoying all the wonders that is a 2 year old. For anyone watching and in this stage, did you know a postpartum doula can help you during this transition? Doula's are sometimes covered by insurance so it is definitely worth checking into. We need sleep in order to function and recovering from a major surgery, it is EXTREMELY important for rest for both mom and dad. A postpartum Doula can help when you need it! They can take over nights a few nights a week, they can do tasks around the house to ease the burden of chores during those early months of a new baby. Doula's are just packed full of experience and knowledge!

[@xhaltsalute]

To the gaslit woman: that was my life for 22 years of marriage. My best day was day I decided to divorce him.

[@franziskani]

Dr. Harvey Karp (The Happiest Baby on the Block plus. The Happiest Toddler on the Block) if an infant constantly cries medical reasons have to be excluded, Diet change of mother could help. OR it cries just because. Meaning it has to do with the (general) state of immaturity with which human babies are born. The immaturity of their nervous system could lead them to cry and be stuck in the crying mode - even though the signal is not necessary. There is nothing wrong with them, calling in adult help is not actually needed. Swaddling (an ancient baby care practice) and a few other things (what people used to do and in many cultures over the millenia) usually stops the crying. It triggers a calming reflex that was important in the late stage of the pregnancy. The baby that had cried for hours falls asleep within minutes.

[@texasgina]

My granddaughter screamed and cried all the time as a baby. She had a cancerous tumor on her optic nerve and was in pain.

[@bufficliff8978]

Get good earplugs meant for band members that block out sound on the extremes. It's the first gift I give to new parents. I can hear others in the room just fine but the screaming in my ear from a baby is tuned down approximately 60%-70%

[@kara2162]

God, babies are so hard. More people need to talk about it. I honestly enjoyed my kids so much more one they hit 3-4 years old.

[@msi8311]

Same

[@Wheres_Jackie]

You're a bad person then. You resented your kids for the first 3 - 4 years of their life? Terrible. You chose to have them, they chose nothing

[@kara2162]

@@Wheres_Jackie I never resented them. I said I ENJOYED them MORE.. I love my kids more than anything in this world and always have.

[@AMK544]

Lol “more people need to talk about it” how about no. People talk about this too much, say babies are the WORST and ruin your life so much so that the US birth rates are below replacement levels.

[@opinionbytriz]

Lol. I love when they turn 1 ... and toddlerhood is the best after the newborn stage! I'm about to do the newborn stage a 3rd time (1st born in 2021, 2nd 2023 😅)

[@lizmcintosh2503]

Consider chiropractic care for infants... gentle adjusting after trip through birth canal might help...worth a try

[@bufficliff8978]

Chiropractics was started as a cult. It's not real and should never be done on an infant. There is nothing chiropractics does that can't also be achieved by massage, but people die because of chiropractics; people don't die because of massages. It began in a cult as a cultic practice

[@kaywoodsbaby]

Love Dr. John! Brings so much insight into real-life family situations

[@franziskani]

If all medical issues can be excluded - mothers of cry babies should get the book: The happiest baby on the block by Dr. Harvey Karp. (and the happiest toddler on the block while she is at it). Some babies cry w/o any serious issues. It is like your computer gets hung up. You need to reboot and it works again, no one will ever know what caused the problem, but it is not a big deal. Same with babies. Humans could well do with another month in the womb to mature, but then many mothers (and the babies) would not survive birth. So babies by default are born in a much more immature state than any other being. That includes an immature neurological state. There are ways to imitate what they experienced in the womb to trigger some reflexes that will make the baby calm down. This is the reboot for babies. One is to swaddle them (which feels like inside the womb, where it is tight and close. At the end that tightness triggers calmness in the baby, if it is too lively it could hurt the mother (it has happened that babies broke their mothers ribs). So there is a reflex if they completely surrounded by fabric and that is a firm but elastic hull, it calms the baby. And dr. Karp recommends to turn on a vaccum cleaner. It is pretty loud in the womb, the heart beats, the gurgling in the gut etc. and a vaccum cleaner sound seems to be a good approximation. (yes that loud). And the swaddled baby needs to held in a certain way. Some babies need all 3 conditions, some only 1 or 2. But that should make the baby "fall" into sleep within 10 minutes.

[@NeccoWecco]

To Hannah: The man's not worth walking on eggshells for the rest of your life. I lived that way for almost a decade. Never doing that again.

[@ominous450]

Babies cry and the sky is blue, the grass is green

[@carolallison9685]

My daughter was like that. I just put on some slipknot and she would pass out everytime. Killpop is a surprisingly soothing song for an infant. 6 years later and the girl is still a metal head.

[@lowkey2262]

Lol... I remember my youngest wouldn't sleep and my wife and I bought sleep-aid that back fired and kept him awake longer than the previous nights. Lol... To get pass the crying, I had to talk to myself before the crying actually started. I had to let myself know the crying was eventually going to start and I just needed to make sure our son was not hungry and did not need to be cleaned up or just wanted to be held. He's 10 now and a (straight A) student/ gamer. Lol... Good luck with this stage, this too shall pass.

[@staceystrukel1917]

The other scenario to gaslighting is you will isolate yourself. You will become afraid of people because he is shaming you. Your self esteem will disappear.

[@emmalouie1663]

100%

[@julesmpc1314]

How is it that this channel does not have 3 million subscribers???? Maybe it will change too much when it does....please dont change too much as you grow!

[@turnovertheleaf5505]

DeLony is getting much better!! Great help in this one.

[@kimberlysmith7625]

Agree. I wonder if John is aware how much he's growing! His viewers certainly see it.

[@bekayezme]

First, he gotta stop saying ‘the kid.’..he lacks emotional ties with the baby. And the baby doesn’t scream to irritate him. That’s how a baby talks. He is so immature.

[@m_n_a_b]

I was concerned over "the kid", too. She's an infant. She has no understanding of how to purposely push buttons. She's crying because she has a need. 🤦‍♀️

[@GrandMa-hm5mb]

Also, stop calling the baby "the kid." It dehumanizes the baby and paves the path toward hurting the child.

[@valeriebrown4769]

Thank you for saying that. You are absolutely right.

[@SugLV75]

I was thinking the same thing…

[@cg741graf5]

This is why family connections are so important. Younger generations have completely forgotten that elders are crucial in family structure in so many ways. Helping to nurture and guide is proven to hold families together and even stave off divorces. Call your parents and ask for help…set down the pride.

[@joanntebo2835]

Those crazy early non-sleeping days are why my OB said that this is the stage no one tells you about. Then he asked about family or friends we could trust with the little one for a few hours so that we could nap when possible. Bless him! It helped to know 2 or 3 willing to help that way. Turned out that our newborn had acid reflux badly. Poor 👦! He did outgrow it around 8 months.

[@autumkennedy4133]

Please please please anyone who has a new baby or even a young kid and they won’t stop screaming and you’re so exhausted and feeling like you can’t handle it anymore, ask for help, doesn’t have to be a parent it can be a friend, spouse , neighbor you trust anyone please ask for help, it doesn’t make you a bad parent asking for help even if it’s for 20 minutes to take a breather to calm down and take a breather, every a parent needs help sometimes especially in the beginning being so exhausted it can really take a toll mentally you gotta a Take care of you to take care of your baby. If you can ask for help even if it’s for a short time to take a minute to collect yourself. You’re doing get my Sons autistic he’s now 3 and I’m chronically ill constantly in the hospital and drs appointments and surgeries left and right and I beat myself I feel like an awful mom event it’s conditions that don’t have cures and I’ve had since I was 10 I still beat myself up but also know when I need to rest because if I push myself past my Limit which I’ve learned the hard way it sets me back further health wise and have learned it’s ok to ask for help sometimes! 💚 to those who have absolutely no help my heart goes out to you and if I was there would help anywhere I could!! But know if you don’t have help it is OK to put your child in a self place where you know they are safe if you have a monitor take it with and walk away for a minute and let it out they WIll be ok I promise!! Baby’s and kids can feel your energy and emotions

[@ronirony2122]

I'm sure he's doing fine now since this prerecorded. I also just had my first baby in April and boy it was tough now almost four months we are getting the hang of it

[@AubreeFusselman]

A book made me quit alcohol for good.. zero desire to drink. I don’t miss it ever!

[@troyspears6470]

Im 25 and already have a vasectomy, this reminds me how happy I am with my decision

[@kara2162]

The outcome is so worth it. The relationship and bond I have with my older kids is like nothing else in this world.

[@littlered3830]

I hope it is reversible. It’ll hit you one day in about 10 years or so that you’ve had all the fun a young man wants and you’ve transitioned into a stage of your life where you realize that you want more to life.

[@troyspears6470]

@@littlered3830 they can be reversed, i already dont have any fun dont worry hahah😂 left those days behind me in college. I feel stronger each year. I would also adopt if i ever happened to change my mind

[@jeradkiester698]

Don't reverse it. Enjoy your life of freedom. You don't need to create another human being to give your life meaning. Most people are so boring children make their life make sense, because without dependents, they have nothing going on in life. Go pursue your passions and best of luck!

[@tethergobrrr]

👍 I’d have done the same as a man. Wish I’d made the effort to seek sterilisation myself when I was young rather than living with the fear of pregnancy for decades!

[@fallenxstari]

Man I feel for him. Been there. Hang in there. I have had the same thoughts. It’s a messed up right of passage. When you become a man to a father. It will pass!

[@moonsharn]

I once nursed a dairy farmer recovering from a cesarean…. Wow, can you imagine how tough that was going to be at home? I just didn’t know what to say to reassure her. What a nightmare.

[@emmalouie1663]

"this is a machine that is broken"... "I want to give her something to cry about"..... THESE ARE REALLY STRANGE THOUGHTS AND FRANKLY THIS PERSON SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD A KID. How cold people are.

[@GwenMotoGirl]

Second caller: familiar ground. I thought I just couldn’t communicate my needs properly without triggering him.

[@KA-ky9nb]

And wait until the baby starts working on learning new skills and hitting them milestones! Regressions are hard !

[@bernicempey]

It will get better soon

[@lorim4863]

The first few weeks are very hard for sleep. I had friends and relatives help out overnight a few times. If the baby has been fed and changed and soothed, and is still screaming often, she may be having gut pain or encephalitis caused by the aluminum in the Hep B and Vitamin K shots given to newborns. Aluminum expert Dr. Christopher Exley said the silicon in water like Fiji water can help with aluminum toxicity. And you should research the ingredients in the infant and child shots that start at two months. After much research and having two children injured by shots, I would have gotten a family practitioner instead of a pediatrician and not done the shot visits and given them none but I cannot go back. Two informative movies are "faxxed" that starts with a V, the first and second.

[@meko3089]

First 3 months are the hardest

[@sullimd]

Every parent on the planet experiences what this guy feels, especially the father. It’s normal, it passes. Especially once you really start to build a relationship with your daughter, which doesn’t come for a while. Until then, they are basically a machine. LOL

[@universaltruth2025]

Best thing to realise as a new parent is that its ok to put the baby safely down in their bed, and walk away and calm down, even if the baby is still crying. I wish I knew I could do that as a new parent. I would have done it a lot more often than I did. You have to prioritise your own health as well.

[@tuchus8781]

60, no children. Never once a regret. Thankful beyond belief.

[@dane2322]

This made me feel at ease since my wife and I don’t want kids

[@Angela-ne9cy]

43, no children. Not a single day of regret. Nothing about this lifestyle is appealing to me and never was. Thank god we live in a society where we have freedom to choose a childfree path.

[@otsam1050]

I think that's sad though, it's a thing of joy going through this world and leaving behind a living legacy in the next generation. It might require a lot of sacrifice, but provided the child is raised right, it yields benefits. Trust me especially once in your 70s.

[@Angela-ne9cy]

@@otsam1050 not everyone wants children and it's a very common trope to say "ooooh, you'll regret it by ___ age" but trust me, we don't. And we won't. Because we're choosing the life WE want and not the life SOCIETY wants for us. No children = great joy.

[@otsam1050]

@@Angela-ne9cy yh that's fine as well. I was just pointing out a different view.

[@bettyfreeman9253]

Always good information!

[@Pruett51212]

I really wish PPD in men was talked about more. I had it as a mom with my 2 kids. My husband definitely suffered after my 2nd and I feel I could have helped him more had I realized what was going on.

[@raynamaldonado1058]

Disagree. There’s no PPD in men they don’t have a post partum. They didn’t birth. Or go through pregnancy. Just bc the eh are stressed or depressed doesn’t make it post partum depression. Totally different

[@comment_account2343]

@@raynamaldonado1058 actually 90% of post partum depression is from the lack of sleep, so that part can be shared. Men used to just go sleep in the next bedroom and leave the wife to deal with it, so they didn't use to have it. Now that they are getting sleep deprived they get PPD too. of course there are cases where it's more complicated than sleep, but in the vast majority of cases, if someone does nightcare for a couple weeks, symptoms of PPD improves drastically.

[@raynamaldonado1058]

@@comment_account2343 It’s not postpartum depression they didn’t have postpartum didn’t have pregnancy they didn’t give birth. Just because you’re tired doesn’t mean you’re depressed just because you’re depressed doesn’t mean it’s postpartum. They can’t get it end of story. Maybe if you had ever suffered from postpartum or knew somebody… You would know differently

[@Pruett51212]

@@raynamaldonado1058 I have suffered from post partum depression twice and will likely with any future children, so I know what it is like and it sucks. I can see where you are coming from as they have never given birth and don't internally deal with the major hormonal mess we as women go through after birth. Maybe it should be given it's own name in the future 🤷‍♀️. HOWEVER, men can and do suffer from a depression following the birth of their child. They may have different root causes to it than their SO who gave birth, but they still experience it.

[@raynamaldonado1058]

@@Pruett51212 now that I completely agree with.

[@eurekahope5310]

I agree with the overnight guest to help with the baby. I do think the wife will prefer a woman as the immodesty required with nursing a newborn would be very uncomfortable.

[@enaibee1661]

Good point

[@cincinnatislider]

Noise cancelling headphones worked for me. Once I realized it was just fussing, I started to explore how to tune it out.

[@dane2322]

Hahaha jesus

[@subjecttochrist]

what i've learned so far from having our 16 month old: 'don't shake the baby,' 'don't hit the baby,' 'don't cuss at the baby.' really, just keep the baby alive. babies are not the same as puppies. They're people and there's serious consequences, if baby not properly taken care of... these thoughts have helped me to take good care of baby!

[@jennabryan1658]

How did any of those 3 “no’s” even land on the table as an option? Wtf? Much less 3 different options that you have to repeatedly review as non-options?

[@subjecttochrist]

@@jennabryan1658because, I’m a sinner who needs a savior, and His name is: JESUS!

[@Cathy-xi8cb]

I am a Happiest Baby on the Bock instructor. The SNOO bassinet is amazing, but it is pricey. The book that teaches you the techniques is cheap, but the video is what new parents want. The good news? It is all solid neuroscience. We know why newborns cry when they are not sick or hungry. We can fix it. The added bonus is that when parents can settle their babies, they feel like superheroes, and the babies think that my folks "get me". Please go on line and solve this today!!

[@jordangrussling801]

My Ex would bring up embarrassing stories or secrets with our friends and it drove me crazy! It made me have a lack of trust. IDK what the caller is telling her friends but I understand that guys pain. But I never cared who she looked at or the other things she did with guests.

[@jeaninesoard7395]

swaddle. buy a recliner. sometimes they have a tummy ache. walk bounce with baby straddling one arm patting with the other.

[@KS-se9jb]

Nice husband. I’ve just had my 3rd C-section 3 months ago and ZERO times has my spouse helped me until they were about 5-6 months old. And even then it’s just getting a bottle sometimes. All were breastfed.

[@jeradkiester698]

Are you resentful of that?

[@cindypeterson1450]

Probably food allergies keep records and start removing food groups. My 18 month old stopped fussing when we took her off corn. I can’t eat dairy while nursing, but I love sleep more than butter.

[@ThatFlippingFamily]

Sitting in hospital with my 16 hour old son watching this lol

[@em77775]

👶🏽💗💗

[@Qwackdawack]

😂😂😂hbccccccvccbhh c ģ qcvvvvvw⁵​S@@em77775

[@Homecomingfootball]

Babies don't scream for no reason The issue is we don't treat babies how they need to be treated

[@bufficliff8978]

Cool that you can read an infant's mind to know what they need

[@LisaPFrampton]

Instead of "releasing" the anger and frustration through yelling into your pillow and strangling your kids' toy Teddy Bear, remove yourself from the situation, remember to breathe and then let yourself feel the emotions. Check-in on yourself and how you're really feeling, where that anger is truly coming from and let your mind and body relax. Then view your situation as it really, truly is by looking at it from an outside and long-term perspective before going back to it. If you keep practicing this then the process becomes natural and you do not have to really practice as much. You'll learn how to remain calm, how to see these from an impersonal perspective while still remaining empathetic. Just keep going. Keep trying. Keep plugging through and you'll make it!

[@Twestliw]

WHO EVER EDITS THE VIDEOS PLEASE PUT TIME STAMPS IN THE VIDEO OR DESCRIPTION

[@chrisabreu5088]

It takes lots of effor love kindness and patience to have babys i have a one month old i love him a lot but i made this decision together with my wife and we knew how it was going to be. We are both really happy with our baby. But my point it is not for everyone it takes lots of PATIENCE dont habe kids if you get frustrated pretty easy

[@valeriagomez2677]

Congrats! We have a 3 month old. We made this decision together and are incredibly patient with our baby. But I know for us it's 100% because it was our choice to be parents at this point in our lives. We came in patient and remain so.

[@kara2162]

Kids teach you patience. Trust me 😅 Been there. Kids are so much fun. It's worth it.. hang in there!

[@littlered3830]

Exactly. You have to have the emotional maturity of at least an 18 year old because that’s the highest level you’ll need throughout their stages.

[@ashvaz7060]

My Baby is 6 months . And still crying . I been to the doctors 4 times due to his crying ( specifically due to his crying /fussy) Nothing is wrong . No colic . No fever no sickness just crying/fussy . Oh, My baby is a home body. When we’re out , forget it! Sleep ? Wakes every 2-3 hours. Feeds are the only thing that he’s on point with . I invested in online classes , different bottles , natural creams , oils , baby bath bomb , cribs , bassinet, co sleep NADA! I check his temperature 2 times a day , check his body for any bites hair anything daily NADA.along with sleep recession and learning new skills sleep has worsen . Point in ALL of this . Some baby are just considered “ good baby “ and other babies just need more patience. Soon he’ll grow out of it . Sometimes sadly , you have to wait it out and try your hardest to do the best you can

[@AC-ly6tg]

I would continue to investigate, something must be making your baby cry. Its how they communicate

[@ashvaz7060]

Definitely :) ( disclaimer: my baby doesn’t cry 24 hours a day , and now teething and learning new skills so a lot is going on .

[@littlered3830]

Babies go through leaps where it’s very predictable when they’ll go through crying phases. It’s developmental advancements that are measurable and you then know when to expect them. Their brains change quickly in a short time (like a computer getting a software update every few weeks) and the baby’s bewilderment at their new perceptions is scary. Growth spurts do it too. Their bodies hurt because they’re growing rapidly so it can be actual physical pain that isn’t a medical ailment. Check out a book called “The Wonder Weeks”. Explains so much about why babies cry “for no apparent reason”. If anything, it gives you more understanding and compassion toward a screaming child because you have a good idea why outside their physical needs.

[@ashvaz7060]

Thanks :)

[@jenw8323]

It could be a tummy ache. It took me 4 kids, but I finally figured out that they are all allergic to dairy. tummy aches, rashes, diarrhea, constipation, constant spitting up, constant runny nose and coughing… going off of dairy helped all of that.

[@leahwilliams9333]

Grandparents are miracles. God I remember this desperation. Now that they are toddlers its a different desperation...the desperation of tantrums, or clumsy little bodies falling over you, or tugging your hair (my son finds it comforting to run his fingers through my hair and will often try to dread it), or the whining, whining...the "changing a poopy diaper is a game" and smearing poop all over the couch in the process of running away, the wanting the toy you just put away, the "never any time but omg I gotta find a way and now" time constraint overwhelm, thrashing about when attempting to brush those teeth, and throwing food on the floor just because the texture of that piece of lettuce is undesirable. This is a maddening world we are in and it's gets better and easier every moment that they age. We will make it through and one day when we are pleasantly aware that we allowed our offspring some independence for a half hour and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are still alive, we will look back and wonder if it was actually this hard.

[@kencurtis2403]

He needs some ear plugs. Make sure baby is fed, changed and safe and then put in ear plugs.

[@dane2322]

There’s studies shown that couples are miserable once having kids their happiness declines, then when they grow up and get out of the house, they become happy again. Sometimes called a “U graph” Lol hence why dr delony said “promise it’ll come back” Yeah that’s a no for me dog

[@kara2162]

My kids are 9 and 12 and we started getting back an even better version of our old life about 1 year ago. Takes a good decade.

[@littlered3830]

Happiness is relative and fleeting. Children bring joy to life that you had no idea existed before having them. It’s actually more common for parents to be sad when children leave. They’re not a hardship or burden unless you’ve decided that they are.

[@yesorno1768]

Peace Lilly well said! We have 5 ages 15 to 3. We enjoy them so much. People have to get out of their own head and focus on training their children. But yes it can be tough when you’re hardly sleeping.

[@seanrybolt3136]

There’s “studies” he says. Lol.

[@tethergobrrr]

@@seanrybolt3136 From all over the world, yes.

[@karenhardie1132]

Those first few years are rough. Kids get sick more and are a ton of work. You get no sleep. It will get a little easier when they get near school age. You just have to hang in there.

[@MrBrewman95]

And people say I’m crazy and selfish for not wanting kids at all?! 🤦‍♂️ enjoy the misery.

[@donvirts4608]

Maybe Calic that's what our son had.

[@KayKayWitchy]

If it wasn't for my mom helping me at night I would have lost my mind due to the lack of sleep and my sons father did not help at all during the nights I slept on the couch beside the basinet and he slept in our bedroom during the day I did sleep when the baby slept so that was another helpful tip I told myself to do .

[@littlered3830]

I was there too. So sleep deprived that I’d have moments of dreaming while I was awake. Mostly auditory hallucinations. I’d hear someone with an accent say my name clearly or hear a man’s voice saying something to me in a half sentence. Afraid to blink because when my eyelids would close, they would not open again. My husband was also sleep deprived as he would wake with me and that negatively affected his health. Since there was no sense of time, he forgot to take his daily medication or eat and he caught himself falling asleep at the wheel on his way to and from work several times. We finally arranged it so that he would sleep in the spare room so he could sleep since he was working. I knew I could try to catch up on sleep when baby slept. I also stopped setting an alarm to wake every 3 hours as recommended by the midwife and I let baby sleep and wake for feedings as needed. That helped tremendously and within a week, baby was sleeping a full 5 hours a night.

[@terryedwards171]

He needs to speak with the pediatrician about the fussy baby.

[@zackerycrouch7277]

Why I dont want kids

[@KA-ky9nb]

My baby is 9 months old and still doesn’t sleep !

[@RowesRising]

Babies are colicky from dairy in mom’s diet or their formula. Once I quit dairy 100% with all 5 of my babies they stole crying in pain and they quit puking and spitting up. Best believe if I sniffed butter they were screaming and puking again. Dairy is horrible for babies and yes it’s proteins get into mothers milk and cow proteins are impossible for babies to digest this colic reflux. Things our doctors don’t have a clue about.

[@atreides10]

The kid?!?

[@curiouslights7111]

Babies don't cry for no reason. 1. Food, 2. Wet/BM, 3. Be held 4. In pain (many things can cause this). If a baby is crying all the time and 1-3 are taken care of, inspect their body, make sure no redness/visible irritation, then assume it's gas pain if able to keep milk down and baby is having normal diaper output. Not much you can do for gas pain, earplugs/earmuffs help take the edge off.

[@franziskani]

A friend was not able to digest fructose (lots of gut problems if there was some in her food). She nursed her baby, and it would not stop crying. At the time she was unaware that she had this fructose intolerance. Only that it was a really bad idea for her to eat pears. Turns out fructose is also used in industrially processed food. Unfortunately she only found out about that and then avoided it months into having a crying baby. That affected her milk - at least that is what they suspect. She carefully avoided fructose after that and the child grow older. so no one knows for sure if the baby was affected by her food intolerance. Nursing mothers are usually a bit careful with what they eat. No beans, no chili, no onions, .....

[@natef1504]

You always see these guys in the news that end up beating or shaking their baby because of this.

[@ShelleyJackson-n7o]

Wearing ear plugs while you’re trying to comfort a crying baby helps a lot

[@brendaababey]

Good advice never thought about it . Noise calling headphones might work too .

[@tuffybaxton6162]

Noise canceling headphones Problem solved 😊

[@kristinaolson77]

I tell my husband to say hi for me.

[@spiritualservicesgodbless7641]

Sounds like a nightmare this is the reason my husband and I are NOT having kids !!!! ; [

[@skateata1]

Taking care of a sick animals was hard enough for me. Being available 24/7 with a screaming baby sounds like hell. I'll stay childfree.