New Custodes Shield-Captain VS a Normal Door | a Warhammer 40k story

[@EnclaveSoldier2201]

I'm starting to understand less why the great Captain General Kitten didn't approve of his men getting down and oily when doors like this exist.

[@franyya1048]

True

[@rybread3981]

Hey man, if YOU were the target of those Blood Games, would you want them to be lubed enough to fit their greasy bodies into your chambers?

[@wispfire2545]

Good point.

[@marqofthedwyne]

Who is the captain general kitten?

[@karlwes6273]

@@marqofthedwynemy boy…. It’s time you learnt of one of the most beautiful stories ever told

[@DeusExAngelo]

"Are we not all silly-billies before the emperor?" Such wide--I mean wisdom.

[@Franz0818]

“Seriously? This is my replacement while I was in a bloody battle on Mars??” - Captain General Kitten

[@brothercoconut6599]

I believe...In his return..

[@nonenonymous]

​@@brothercoconut6599until g dunts allows fan animation,i shall wait for 5-10 years

[@congtoannguyen1940]

Everyday I miss what we once had

[@thedandyrobber1045]

Reality collapsed when Kitten died, and they switched to a vampire universe.

[@Da_ComputerMonster]

@@nonenonymous Esteemed Captain General Kitten after waking up from his 5-10 year long Coma to go on adventures with Magnus and the Big Cheese. (There's women and Widebois now, and he keeps talking about "Vampires" or something, which confuses everyone.)

[@georgesears934]

Wow, the door's giving off some really strong (and silent) Gary Cooper energy.

[@DreadAnon]

He was a door, Gary Cooper?

[@willbleed550]

@@DreadAnon shhhh, the inquisition may be listening!

[@inquisitorbenediktanders3142]

Too late ​@@willbleed550

[@MydasAU]

@@DreadAnonnooo, are listening to me??

[@dawsonbryant56]

This door is stronger than chaos

[@PanzerLord]

“Is Pepsi okay?” Even in the 41st millennium 😂

[@arandomcomment7208]

in the grim darkness of the far future, there is only the second best soda's

[@logangrimnar3800]

I said this back when I was a coke dealer. I got stabbed a lot.

[@TheArklyte]

Tbh I prefer Pepsi... but then again, I'm not in US ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ Context: Pepsi and Coke both "outsource" actual mixing outside US to local subsidiaries. They only supply concentrated "juice" leaving the water % and technology up to the choice of local subsidiaries, who try to match local market preferences and health standards with it. So Coke and Pepsi are different in all countries.

[@jamalisujang2712]

I will never forgive coca cola, it boot out pepsi from my country.... 😢 I like pepsi more! 😠

[@Cesar_233]

Pepsi not only is okay, but is BETTER THAN COCA-COLA

[@zekenotech]

Dark Eldar are the pepsi of the Eldar race. "Are there eldar to fight?" "Is Dark Eldar okay?"

[@Freekymoho]

UUUUUGH. FINE.

[@mikecampos1193]

RC cola is better.

[@ThatDMan87]

@@mikecampos1193 Agreed. Also RC are the Exodites.

[@Morec0]

Guess that makes Exodites the diet Pepsi.

[@Edible_edibility]

No one wants to touch em

[@gavinbaker7421]

"Aren't we just all Silly Billys before the Emperor indeed?" Saint Sebastian Thor on refusing the seat of Ecclesiarch for the hundredth time.

[@SpookSkellington]

Man i remember my childhood on Deadkiddius VII, playing tag in the reactor rooms, swimming in the water that makes you feel tingly, hide and seek with the glowing green barrels...

[@jasonalcatraz5817]

Did you ever try to hide IN the glowing green barrels? I did, and they NEVER FOUND ME! Shame I lost all my hair tho… and most of the skin on my left arm.

[@america8706]

I myself enjoyed playing in the riptide currents of the Western Waste Sea. Oh, what fun it was to steuggle mightily against the entire force of a planets "water" as it tried its best to drag you miles and miles away from shore all the while getting those funny little glowing jellyfish to tickle my legs with their hugging tentacles and skillfully dodging moving forests of deadwood just under the surface of the water. Oh how I yearn for those exciting adventures again. Now I'm just stuck on this stinking planet Armageddi doing nothing all day but fighting Horch or whatever. BOOOORRIIIIIIIIIING🙄

[@tonee2es223]

I remember how spicy my blood felt playing in the pond just below the manufactorum

[@crusader2412]

My personal favorite thing to do was play with the large rats that lived in the overflowing sewers. Some of them were really nice and treated me as one of their own! The other ones bit me and gave me pus filled boils on 90% of my body.

[@M1NDxBEND3R]

“Deadkiddius” was entirely uncalled for 😂😂😂

[@stripeybag6977]

It was uncalled for 7 times?! xD

[@badzilla1173]

"Is it the kind of cancer you can get better from?" Lmfao

[@TheWarmachine375]

The Custodian can just bust through the walls like Magnus the Red did to the Imperial Webway project of the Man-Emperor of Mankind.

[@wispfire2545]

That may be true, but that could also damage the stability of the building... and endanger the sick kids.

[@legion6211]

Magnus the red shoved his big red throbbing cock into it

[@JoshMC2000]

Thats why they wont. They remmber that incident

[@BigDictator5335]

OH YEAH!

[@lumburgapalooza]

It's so moving that those kids got to be so close to a real-life Custodes. Let's see "Make a Wish" do _that!_

[@AC-er4ll]

"The Chinesium" LMAO

[@PetroBeherha]

I’m stealing that.

[@danieleorlando3297]

How to defeat astartes in melee as a baseline human: 1. Fight them in an old building with a wooden floor that can't sustain a SUV's worth of power armor 2. Whatch them "Spartaaah!" themselves.

[@andresamaya6187]

I remember a comment on the Astartes fan film that the best way of making your ship Asterte-proof was having narrow hallways

[@JZStudios2]

I actually like Centurions, this only makes more sense why they're not used as much.

[@Freekymoho]

I always found the concept of power armor for your power armor silly, especially when terminators already exist

[@WiggleJimmy]

@@Freekymoho It is INCREDIBILY silly.

[@frednasty]

@@Freekymoho A silly Billy, if you will

[@THEHOLYCHAINSWORD]

Centurions are based, and I always take at least 5 it's a crime they can't, "" Oh yeah" through walls thus is the problem of a wide silly billy

[@s.k4713]

@@Freekymohotbf tho very few things in 40k aren’t silly

[@AberrantChibi]

This is a valid argument for the existance of the Extermidoorus Astartes chapter (Doorbuster / Doorkicker marines). *MORTUS PORTUS.*

[@ryantgosling2430]

Ben

[@GrenzRell]

I just got an image in my head of the centurion doing the Moto-Moto walk in a battlefield.

[@willbleed550]

Such thoughts are HERESY "clocks gun"

[@inductivegrunt94]

Imagine Tyberos trying to get through that door. Only Scout Marines are likely enough to be able to fit through a normal human door. That was one heck of an endinh too. They just cannot best the mighty wooden door.

[@26th_Primarch]

Tyberos would just intimidate the door to be wider.

[@Morec0]

​@@26th_PrimarchYou glorious sonuvabitch, I thought the same thing.

[@crasterlongshanks4284]

Tyberos would simply be found ominously standing on whichever side of the door he intends to be on, although, this only works if somebody is there to witness his... ominousity. Without witnesses, he wouldn't be able to pass, because if a giant shark man is ominous in a forest, and nobody is there to not see him do things, is he really doing ominous things at all?

[@unfortunateson1938]

Just send a chapter serf in?

[@mrschizo2837]

But brothers, that last one was a building you CAN level. Then again, there's probably like a dozen more around they'd have to deal with too. Dark eldar always seem to make an absurd amount whenever I fight them in DOW.

[@ivanjesusson8582]

The adventures Shield-Captain Tunderos Widius, Custodian Normalus, and Centurion Ultimus Chunkeron displays the importance of persistence and friendship- and perhaps a diet. Chunkeron will inevitably go to THICC-REHAB to treat his chronic slowness alongside brothers Tue-mush Plateus (the space marine in uparmored mark 3 armor) and Slabin Truj (the space-vet in cataphractii terminator armor) , where he will learn to value self-control and and health after flattening an entire Eldar Refugee Relocation Facility because of his inability to enter the front door.

[@bigtony4930]

Caseoh in the 42nd millennium be like

[@CocoHutzpah]

That reminds me of a time playing 40k 8th edition with my buddy on his parent's dining room table. It was Space Wolves versus Tau. My buddy's mom looked at his space marines and asked, "how do they fit through doors?"

[@america8706]

As with all things of import, violently.

[@fafdsfr]

The Glorious Emperor, in His infinite wisdom, set down a holy edict long ago that doors must be large enough for the primarchs and their legions to get through.

[@thespiritofhoxhawell4413]

Foreshadowing...

[@bbbbKeJodddd]

Shouldve called in Brother Childbombicus of the Marines Malevolent. Super easy to get into a children's hospital when it's a crater.

[@dankdaze42069]

I don't think any of the space Marines would fit through a door let alone a custodes 😐...

[@thomaswetzel6796]

Space marines are like 7-9 feet tall and they can duck crawl and crouch so probably yes

[@dersuddeutschesumpf5444]

​@@thomaswetzel6796 not in their armour they aren't 😂

[@thecandyman7807]

@@dersuddeutschesumpf5444no, but they can fall over, adjust their angle like a couch or fridge, and then just get up.

[@QuantemDeconstructor]

Custodians are able to be still like statues so you can just angle them in like a large piece of furniture

[@dankdaze42069]

@@QuantemDeconstructor or they could just make a new door through the door

[@Terminator45845]

"10,000 calories every step." Dear God, that's horrifying.

[@TheWarmachine375]

The Golden Banana Boys of Big E should squat more frequently.

[@PanzerLord]

Thank you, Santodes

[@sonofangron2969]

43 chickens and a barrel filled with cherry coke… So nice to see my snack habits represented 😊🙃

[@Ranoveramotherin2007]

i notice a lack of JAAAHNNy grammamamer test

[@paladinorc]

Approval for the ‘Blues Brothers’ pesudoReference!

[@BrotherVoidBomber]

God i love this community, TTS LIVES

[@UnofficiallyCustodian]

Bro if Caseoh was wearing Centurion armor he would be still be as fast as he is now ☠️☠️☠️

[@colbygordon6936]

Caseoh would make the World Eaters literal.

[@madonfire]

​@@colbygordon6936I'm dead 💀 Nah nvm, I was eaten.

[@UnofficiallyCustodian]

Not even your body could satisfy Caseoh​@@madonfire

[@UnofficiallyCustodian]

Caseoh is bigger than a fucking Imperial Titan

[@Lancersilva]

2:45 Medium well?! That’s no son of the Emperor, that’s a greater daemon!

[@grimgrahamch.4157]

A door probably has more emotions than a custodes.

[@Snakedude4life]

W I D E B O Y S Rise up. 🎩 🐍 no step on snek!🇺🇸🇭🇰

[@TheRemembrancer]

Deadkiddius VII….genius!

[@DreadAnon]

NEW LOGO DETECTED!!! ‼️‼️

[@njvikesfan0162]

Ah yes the fateful door, bane of Custodians and D&D parties everywhere

[@jimmmybacon9043]

I like how half the music in your videos is just runescape music

[@DreadAnon]

Yeah it doesn’t get copyright strikes and because the composer turned out to be a diddler I don’t have to feel bad that he doesn’t get any money 😎😎😎

[@Ordoscc]

​@@DreadAnonYou could also use Morrowind/Oblivion music. The composer diddled.

[@jimmmybacon9043]

@@DreadAnon Well then, the more you know

[@PattPlays]

THE KIND YOU GET BETTER FROM IM DYING

[@ricardoricardoricardoricardo]

You never fail to put a smile on my face.

[@TheeActualKeyboardWarrior]

Yup, that childrens hospital seems pretty grimdark to me.

[@ThatChalk]

That’s one heavily armed nurse. Just as the Emperor intended

[@congtoannguyen1940]

When the Centurions was mention, I thought it was gonna be Rogal Dorn

[@bluedog843]

“Is Pepsi okay” FUCKIN HELL MAN EVEN 40 THOUSAND FUCKING YEARS LATER AND I STILL CANNOT GET COME PRODUCTS??? FOR THE LOVE OF THE EMPEROR I JUST WANT SOME COCA COLA

[@motivatedpotato6604]

It's literally the same drink, sold by the same company in the exact same bottles, the only difference is the colouring and labeling

[@LordCrate-du8zm]

This is what a Dutch person must feel like walking through doors in the US

[@Historyfrek4ever]

So that’s why he got a melta, when he needs to expand the entrances.

[@monke.conjurer]

Thank you Anna! Thank you Carole!😊

[@thepozoleispeople5139]

The dialogues are solid gold.

[@SymbioteMullet]

The subtle Toejam and Earl music really works here

[@ChemFrogEngels]

This one was one of the best yet. I almost died.

[@Shoutatclouds]

Having the centurion as earl and a guardsman as Toejam is what I need.

[@cnut7383]

I always think about how a space marine could even stand on a 2nd story

[@thechrononaut1]

"You judge too harshly, noble Custodian. For all we all not Silly Billies before the Emperor?" You know who probably isn't concerned about being a silly Billy? Sister Girlicus.

[@radabit2417]

Absolute banger as always

[@Corcook]

The Shield-Captain knew to take Rogal Dorn's mightiest fortification seriously.

[@machine3589]

Thank you Anna and Carole.

[@crasterlongshanks4284]

Tyberos would never have this issue. He would simply be found standing ominously on whichever side of the door he wants to be on. Although that only works if someone is there to not see him walk through the door. After all, if a shark man does something out of sight, but nobody is there to not see him do anything, did he even do anything?

[@mightymicroworlds4566]

I love this channel so happy I found it hahaha

[@TLrtd]

They should've brought along the mute Imperial Fist Centurion that hangs around the Palace. I get a feeling it would have overcome the tenacious door...after it had been suitability fortified.

[@america8706]

Did the esteemed Brother's try entering the eldar building by destroying it? I also like the idea that Deadkiddius is a death world that has tons and tons of fun new intricate ways to zero a juvenile, and all the survivors are suited to survive pretty much anywhere due to that. Got a Ice, Jungle, Ocean, Fire, Desert, Toxic planet? There's a Deathkid Regiment for that.

[@raddarat8471]

Bro who let the votann into the custodes locker

[@fer23924]

I love this chonky dude

[@satellitecannon4717]

Seeing the centurion as an obese lad makes me get a good chuckle.

[@alexrexaros9837]

Space Marines vs Stairs

[@dreamypizza8458]

"agitatis ultramarini nobilitis ultramarini" famous custodian battle chant

[@robot5626]

A primarch would struggle to fit through a normal door vulcan would.

[@xanmontes8715]

Very brave of the Custodes to allow a squat to become a Shield-Captain.

[@bigtony4930]

*THE* *CHINESIUM*

[@Vennnaya]

Love how you gave the male drukhari the female voice actor, and the female drukhari the male voice actor.

[@MrMaharg79]

This is why I bought a ring cam

[@junjunpyotv7600]

theyre having a feast on Deadkiddius VII, a cemetery world

[@WilliamMcSkilliam]

Widehammer 80K

[@RogueSanta]

What a very tame team of Dark Eldar...

[@elizabethmilward8301]

The first time I saw Age of Sigmar Teclis I wondered how he was going to get that ridiculous helmet through doorways, and how many people he'd brained with the horns by accident when turning around.

[@orben-amos6172]

Deadkidius made me cry

[@insertedgynamehere]

Were a struggling institution on a backwater planet. Two Custodes were on the planet. It's gonna be a thriving institution on a well known shrine world before the day is out

[@ogorekcyfrowywdupiekota]

Rep + for adding the Scavenger sound effect from Gothic on 2:47

[@lorddevilfish5868]

Are we all not Silly Billies before the emperor?

[@vicnedel02]

The good ending: Centurion realises that he could level the Dark Eldar building and they all come back.

[@pacificgrim4661]

Iron Warriors: Just twist or pull down the door kno- I mean... Iron Within Iron Without...

[@dersuddeutschesumpf5444]

This is exactly why space marines have chapter serfs

[@Rat_Fบcker]

3:16 THE ONE FEAST THE ONE FEAST IS REAL!!!

[@hullabaloo9072]

You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like

[@justme42300]

Its weird seeing Wammudes wearing his armour.

[@Freekymoho]

I assume all that oil was so he could squeeze into it

[@Epidemas]

Brother Caseoh "43 roast chickens, light snack"

[@Hawkens4k]

dont be fooled, he only lost, due to the fact that he never wanted to break the door.

[@yuri2174]

I like the idea the centurion is like flash, he inside is extremely fir but becouse of his armor he has to eat a lot just so he doesnt die from walking to his barracks

[@blakeoarmboy]

To be fair they probably could walk thru the wall and the door at once

[@Joseph-mw2rl]

"chinesium" 💀

[@Eliconean]

"Chicken and coke" for the wider fella? I think I got that reference :D

[@Jera_thuraiz]

"are we all not silly billies before the emporer?"

[@Overdrive-19]

You should make a video about a space marine with 2 powerfists trying to pick up small items or use delicate machinery, buttons or handles 😂

[@alexSN1994times2]

To be fair most Custodes or Marines seem like they'd have trouble with human sized doors. Wonder if this means all 40k doors are special sized, considering Ogryns are a thing too.

[@Trauson]

Come on calling the Centurion was cheating, everyone knows they are big E favouritez

[@ArchvileEnthusiast]

Dreadnoughts are like thrice their sizes but you don’t seem them raiding children’s hospitals

[@much7395]

this is how our DM talks about our DnD group

[@lemonadesparkle4994]

Is - is that backing music the theme to Toejam and Earl??

[@gyulajakab5852]

I hate how your normal door can stop even a custodes shield-captain when its the main character in its own novel but then you have thousands of doors being destroyed by a single centurian in a space marine focused novel. Then in table top (aside from when there is an obvious push to sell more models via broken rules) custodes and doors are actually balanced but get slaughtered by Eldar.

[@jakobi-wan6500]

You know, first seeing the custodes model you question whether it’s for the custodes or just a new addition to the leagues of votann range…

[@SigvaldScionofSuccubi]

Deadkiddius I spat my drink everywhere

[@jorgedeanoperez2997]

I mean, this is a building they *can* level

[@danielhardman234]

Dead kiddius VII, fucking brilliant