i read the 4 most popular dark academia books (and they broke my heart) | reading vlog

a deep knowledge of dark academia literature is something you might assume is already a part of my personality... but you'd be wrong. here is a reading vlog to fix that. no plot spoilers beyond what can be discovered on the back of the book or in the first couple of chapters (other than general ~vibes~ and my emotions........and there are a lot of emotions...........)
truly nobody expected this to absolutely destroy me and yet. here we are.
🍓s o c i a l s
• you might recognize me from tiktok: / newlynova
• hot girls also follow me on goodreads: / newlynova
• obligatory instagram: / newlynovabooks
⏰ t i m e s t a m p s
introduction: 0:00
the secret history: 2:24
the secret history review: 9:43
a deadly education: 15:13
a deadly education review: 16:53
if we were villains: 21:27
if we were villains review: 26:38
babel: 30:39
a brief academic validation-related breakdown: 36:30
babel 2 (2 fast 2 babel): 41:00
babel...review???: 50:09
👒 f a q
• i film using a fujifilm X-S10 and edit with premiere pro.
• i am 23 and currently live in wisconsin :)
• contact: [e-mail]

[@Carly135991]

Me a 24 year old teenage girl that dropped out of college: this is absolutely my aesthetic I AM dark AND academic

[@TalkBooksWithBri]

Oof this hits

[@esoterca]

so real 😭

[@hartshpdbx10805]

Me at 34 and using my degree to bartend because it makes more money than my field but still dressing like a tortured academic

[@thomasceneri867]

Go back to school!

[@ladansemakabre]

why are you literally me omg i feel called out

[@AJ-iy4px]

As someone who went to the same college as Donna Tartt (the one she allegedly based A Secret History off of), TOTALLY understand why you were not vibing with those characters. Rejoice that you didn't have to go to class with them

[@cindyo6298]

Cooooool, you went to that college

[@avitaylor589]

My friend goes there lol

[@AJ-iy4px]

@@avitaylor589 condolences.

[@Bumblebeesly]

Wow. Now THAT is a whole thing! Wish we could pick your brain. ☮️

[@straww_berryyy]

What does you going to the same college have to do with it ?😔

[@animefreakkitty021]

"I hate this book- it's so good" is a whole vibe.

[@mrspreminger]

Ok u definitely convinced me to read Babel because I’m a linguistics major and a big thing people don’t understand is that language and culture are deeply intertwined and killing a language is effectively killing a culture.

[@erallis01]

Reading Babel as a linguistics major is the most fun (?) experience ever. It's a special thing to read that you're not gonna find elsewhere.

[@mj2625]

I got recommended this book SOLELY because I have a degree in linguistics. Very excited to read it

[@aree376]

i am a linguistics major (not in english tho, its not my first language too) and honestly that book felt like so much wasted potential to me, as an educated person i know the history of colonialism and i was going into the book already fully aware that it was horrible but i got 500 pages of someone trying to convince why it is so bad (which wasnt needed) but failed to bring up anymore interesting topics to the table + all the characters felt incredibly shallow, professor lowell was probably the only character that made me feel any emotions (dude made me furious) but that's it but "the poppy war" is still one of my fave fantasy series

[@n-dk]

​@@aree376 I felt similar. What this book gave me was more appreciation for the work of translation and reading it in a German translation added a layer. And I'm generally interested in languages, so those parts were nice to read. But I felt the same about the topic of colonialism. If there was a ladder of education for this topic, this book would meet you at the beginning. My problem is that I bought this book as a birthday present for a friend, thinking that this would be a good phantasy-novel-match for someone who loved reading phantasy in their teenage years and is now a well-educated, intelligent and politically engaged person, but after reading it myself, I'm not so sure anymore :D

[@mayrimbas]

@@aree376 absolutely!! and definitely don't read this if you're a translator like me - for someone who is supposedly a translator, the innacuracies and misrepresentations in translation theory that r.f. kuang shamelessly included left me sooo angry!! the plot and the commentary: great. the mechanics? not so much.

[@kthxbi]

to me your comments about The Secret History sort of highlight what I feel is the irony of the dark academia aesthetic vs the dark academia genre. The genre is 100% about critiquing the veneer of the world of elite academics, revealing it for all its obsessive, entitled, and dangerous rot. For all their party habits, perfect hair, and endless debates on ethics, when you scratch the surface these hyper intelligent/skilled rich kids are viscous high strung perfectionists who are liable to collapse and take everyone else down with them at the first sign of trouble. That's the point of the genre. Like its literally about the relationship between the high-brow facade of the intellectual elite and their hollow rotten reality, and the damage you can do to yourself by trying to act like one of them...and then the aesthetic is about how to act like one of them for the low low price of a £9.99 cardigan from SHEIN. Its bizarre- the concept and function of the aesthetic is literally the thing the genre is trying to critique.

[@isa2010rizzi]

Donna tart was literally critiquing the idea of aesthetics for aesthetics sake, without substance. Unfortunately her book went too hard and people were like, lets make this an aesthetic

[@randostuff8558]

There's something so incredible about the very emotional review of Babel, and then a bag of Ruffles being in the background

[@newlynova]

LMFAO what can i say

[@tannerv259]

Nobody describes the secret history as what it is….. a cult book. I swear the entire time I was just thinking, is this a cult??? Because it basically was but nobody describes it as that from what I’ve seen

[@marie._stay]

OMG YEES. I read like 30% and is still unsure (a year after) whether or not I want to continue cause I haaate reading about cults, they creep me out😅

[@malefizioso]

go over to liene's library and watch her dark academia vlog

[@ananyashah7760]

the book Leo also has a dark academia vlog with The secret history and Babel. you should watch that.

[@saturncommitscrimes]

oh it is absolutely a cult book!! there’s so many layers to this book that after analyzing it properly it’s a completely different story than the one you thought you were reading at first, which is the main reason i love it so much

[@ghaida3926]

51:58 when she says "society" while sobbing shouldn't be as funny as it is 😭😭 i have tears in my eyes

[@katrinanguyen8151]

If should be a meme

[@alvinanyholm]

The fact you read The Secret History in two days is actually INSANE! Took me several months

[@myweakness1883]

Right?? I listened to the audiobook read by the author herself and let's just say it was an experience 😂 The way Donna Tart pronounces words that start with wh- took me off guard so much that it was all I could focus on 💀

[@newlynova]

it was an act of unbelievable willpower (and an excess of free time)

[@Turtle20305]

@@newlynova Girl bossed your way through it 😌

[@katerinaa9344]

I loved it so much from the beginning so I read it one night and several hours in russian which is my mother tongue, then it took me couple of weeks to reread it in english and couple of months - in german. 🤪 So i was kind of obsessed, maybe it's ADHD or smth😂 but if I am not into book that much it takes me months, yep.

[@melaniemertenspolak]

Right?? It took me three weeks!

[@MintyisOK]

watching this video has made me realize that How to Get Away with Murder had strong dark academia potential

[@NellyVilla09]

OMG YES

[@chenmae9747]

Yess

[@5down5soon]

whats the authors name?

[@jess.alcantara]

@@5down5soon it's a show with Viola Davis! highly recommend.

[@mattpedia1933]

How to get away with murder was such a great show

[@carolineoneal2862]

I did not cry whole reading Babel. But then I finished it, I looked up and stared at the wall. And then I started bawling. Truly amazing book

[@bellaaguirre649]

This is exactly what happened to me. It just hit me out of nowhere. This book is the one that I would tell people they have to read if I had to choose just one.

[@CookieCat-gp9cq]

After I finished reading it, I genuinely felt grief over the events that occurred. New favorite book immediately.

[@criesincryptid]

It was a slow cry with a bit of tears until they cut back to the scene from the start with Ramy and Robin and I started sobbing

[@ANGLVELASCO]

as an actor, the fact that if we were villians characters speak in shakespeare quotes made me feel like they were real actors. like when you are working on a play you engrave in your mind the quotes so much that you use them in your daily life, specially with the rest of cast members, and the quotes end up being like an internal meme of some sort. i dont know it was done deliverally or it was supposed to mean that they are pretentious but it worked for me in that way when reading it and i'll stick with that detail and defend its efficiency in the character building and storytelling

[@newlynova]

yeah i totally got that, definitely was on brand for all of them i just wish i'd known more things to better understand all of the underlying messages

[@PurpleIrishSweater]

I have only gotten to the “Secret History” part of this video, and came searching in the comments to see if anyone thought it was something like Othello. Is it?

[@tmbl9283]

"a 23 year old teenage girl" ya'll i wanna be friends with her so bad 😂

[@KatieMac1195]

As a burnt out, former gifted kid, with anxiety it was comforting to hear you talk about mental health. Reading is one of my favorite activities to calm down and unwind, but at the same time, when I don't reach my reading goals I beat myself up. Also, I love all of your videos, you talk about every book you read in a really engaging, smart and funny way.

[@smoo007]

Babel broke me too. When I had the chance to meet Kuang, despite being a grown-ass adult, I basically drooled all over her shoes

[@karenellison9204]

I’m an interpreter. And this book WRECKED ME! So mad I can’t find a little silver bar necklace with “Translation” engraved on it.

[@mikahbray548]

I cried watching you finish Babel because I remember doing the EXACT same thing when it came out last year. “Socieetyyyy😭” was such a mood

[@mirandavega_]

I remember finishing If We Were Villains and just sitting there crying over my dinner 😭

[@ishitaanand8509]

same

[@twosunies]

I was crying on the toilet

[@NellyVilla09]

SAME. I had existential crisis for weeks after

[@fannibisch8407]

Feel you, couldn’t finish a single book for month after I read it

[@kyenns]

I haven't enjoyed a book this year since this book and I read If We Were Villians in February! 😭

[@sususnandes]

when i realized this video was not speeded up i gasped so hard girl how do you speak so many words in so little time 🥲🥲

[@justdianaaa3]

babel literally caused me to have a breakdown on if the degree i want to do is ethical and i just … it was beautiful and i just cannot believe it took me this long to read. i love how you can vocalize all my thoughts of the secret history bc i just cannot explain to my friends

[@mervicente3961]

rereading babel after finishing it for the first time hits so much harder 🥲 sending you a hug

[@themangotango95]

I like how raw and unfiltered your thoughts are and I appreciate you showing us your mental health and the struggles you are facing. Sometimes I don't feel like reading even though I was so excited earlier in the day!

[@C.E.O.D.I17]

This woman is such a joy

[@tjlewis5035]

Best moments of this video: 1. "Be gay do crimes."🤣 2. Lexi eating that loaf while reading. 3. Seeing her fall view with the candles lit. 4. "Rebecca I just want you to adopt me." 5. Lexi going on a 5 to 6 minute rant about why gratification from academia isn't the end all be all when school was the thing we were taught as people in society that "values education" that we need to excel in it as successful human beings. Relatable content!

[@mycelium_hearts888]

"after my medication wears off I don't like talking to a camera... it's not for me, it's not for my people"

[@katalinvegh4865]

I was reading a book and the very first chapter was fifty pages FIFTY.

[@zukkinisquash]

If you think the cliffhanger for A Deadly Education is criminal the cliffhanger for The Last Graduate is borderline inhumane and I was not okay afterwards.

[@ktmac8]

I had never been so happy that I bought all 3 books together. That cliffhanger was sob/rage inducing.

[@nathansabo9821]

Truly, thankfully I bought 2 and 3 together because I would not have survived

[@oftheearthbutfromthestars]

i started learning latin and greek, got a hardbound homer, and a book of essays based on what is going on in the world of classics and major topics etc (Confronting the Classics by Mary Beard). the secret history is very effective i didn't want to google every reference i wanted to just GET it. so here we are. also the audiobook is actually narrated by Tartt so it adds a whole layer to it because her voice is also very clipped and has this accent that idk (maybe its a placebo in my head) complements the book's voice a lot. i mean she wrote it for ten years yes but still it made it come alive very nicely. her bunny impression was spot on and very annoying. 10/10 would murder too

[@Wildflower1013]

Just wanted to say i think you're great as a booktuber! You're so funny and witty and have really interesting commentary. I hope you keep taking care of yourself on those rough mental health days and treating yourself with kindness ❤.

[@newlynova]

♥️♥️♥️

[@TamilaSushkova]

Your commitment to the fits and the little speech about academic validation/dark academia was such a mood *sobs*

[@J0SH.0]

The last 200 pages of babel is how I'm going to explain marxist-leninism to people that don't want to read political theory. The first half was tough for me to get through because I simply do not care about magic systems. However, it was such a great way to explain how late stage capitalist nations purposefully impoverish and under develope other countries for their benefit.

[@lizziedoeslife]

I read Babel almost a year ago & the way you described that the magic is what is lost in translation between the two words finally had it clicking in my head. Thank you 👏🏽

[@astelius]

*the speed and manner of which you talk when you analyse the books is so pleasing for my brain I could put this video on repeat and just hang onto your every word every single time omg*

[@winterillust]

i don't think it's a good idea to try and finish books like the secret history as fast as possible. it's slow paced for a reason and the fun is in the atmosphere and vibes than the plot and characters. and the exquisite writing of donna tartt! one of my fav reads of all time for sure.

[@newlynova]

yeah i def gathered that with that book especially, really only grinned so hard since i was filming a video on it. it's a book i might revisit down the road. i still maintain what i said about the middle section but knowing what happens i imagine there's a lot of interesting foreshadowing and similar, and i'd love to read it again in particular with the ending in mind (which took me by surprise)

[@jansmitsvanoyen4832]

It’s definitely a book that improves with a lot of re-reading, I keep finding new ways in which everything fits together wonderfully!

[@ashevanlippert1207]

@@newlynovaFor me, the driver of external tension in the second half was the police investigation, and the emotional and interpersonal tension arose from how we see the willingness of the remaining members of the group to turn against each other-and against Richard in particular. I think we realize was never truly allowed into their inner circle the way he thought he was. As someone who’s perpetually paranoid about being secretly disliked/excluded by my friend groups (bc I’m a sad sad person w subzero self esteem) that shit really got to me. Like you slowly get hints that most of them harbor at least a bit of disdain for him, and that in the emotional fallout post Bunny-slayage he’s being held at arms length and not being let in on anyone’s genuine emotions as they all struggle individually. I agree that it’s not as strong as the first half. But I vibed with the Crime and Punishment-esque slipping into paranoia and suppressed guilt. I was so on edge the whole time and the whole thing just kinda hurt, which I appreciated as a literary masochist lol. It’s all very disillusioning

[@vivsglock]

a deadly education is a series that just gets better and better to me

[@sahanas.r.4650]

As a fellow burnt-out former "gifted" kid, I appreciate you including that section about productivity and how sometimes it feels like you only have value if you're being productive. It's a way of thinking that's been instilled in us since the beginning because of the capitalistic society we live in that only values productivity/profit. You are more than what you can provide to society, you are more than your checklist.

[@laneytran7037]

Babel changed the way I think and the way I approach being an Asian American. I wish I could read it for the first time again!

[@jackiel94171]

I'm a British-born HKer and I SO want to read this book, but I'm worried it'll be too triggering since I have trauma related to racism. Obviously I know about some of the main plot points of how Britain absolutely fcked over Chinese people, and the sorts of suffering they inflicted, but this is why I feel nervous to dive deep into this, even though I intellectually want to and it sounds like this book is so important not only to my heritage but to society as a whole! More REAL histories of the British empire needs to hit the zeitgeist!! My question is, how did you find reading Babel as an Asian person? Did it affect you in an overwhelming way? Is the magical element enough to not be too depressing of a mirror to the real world? Any answers appreciated 📚🫶🍌 (Might also post on main to see if anyone else has thoughts)

[@laneytran7037]

@@jackiel94171 Hi! Maybe mini-spoilers ahead but also for like the first couple chapters: I think anyone who doesn't have a traditionally Western name can relate to others mispronouncing, making fun of, or even changing the name you tell people to make it easier! In the first few chapters, we the audience never learn Robin's Chinese name! He is told to pick a new name that is easier for Westerners to process and subsequently never talks about or refers to himself as his original name ever again. Here, Robin is essentially forced to, it seems like he has no choice here ,, in the real world, it feels much more nuanced! There's then a small discussion about how changing his name doesn't just erase the name, it erases history, heritage, culture from the name. While being able to intellectually understand that, I also *felt* that. I have always been indifferent to my last name, it's my father's name sure but as a woman, I grew up thinking I would change my last name when I got married anyway! That discussion made me sit back and realize how much more my last name holds. It's so much more beyond me. It's my father, his trouble and toils, my grandfather and *his* trouble and toils and so on and so forth back and back. Kuang does such a good job of taking these experiences and making them quick moments but not small moments ,, it felt like what experiencing micro-aggressions are like. I felt his shame and anger and confusion alongside him and sometimes for him when he was young and didn't quite understand what it even was. Was it overwhelming? Sometimes! It felt real and raw. I did have to put the book down sometimes but I'm also personally more emotional than average I feel. Sometimes, I saw myself in Robin. Sometimes, I hated the choices he made but I also understood them. I have friends who made the same choices. We're all just trying to survive out here. The magic system sometimes enhances the overwhelming feeling and sometimes eased it, just depended on the situation! I recommend reading the first few chapters and seeing if you can handle it! I think if you can connect to it intellectually and emotionally in a way that feels safe to you, it's well worth the read! Sorry for the wall of text, feel free to ask any other questions you have and I can try to answer :)

[@jackiel94171]

@@laneytran7037 wow thank you for such a big thoughtful response!!! I'll definitely be reading it this year, just not sure when. Thanks again for sharing Laney, it's deeply appreciated! And I'm glad you have a stronger relationship with your surname now! I've always felt that I would never get rid of my last name (double-barrelled at the MOST), because I love my immigrant family and having lived my whole life with people mispronouncing it, I refuse to let the English 'win'. Absolutely NO judgement to those who change theirs (as we know, we're all just tryna survive out here), this is just what feels right for me. Might come back with more thoughts after reading!! 💛

[@laneytran7037]

​@@jackiel94171 Yes please! I love having discussions about this book, especially with others who *get it* :') Happy reading!

[@knightdragon7640]

I LOVE A deadly education trilogy, read all 3 in a weekend it was amazing!! Highly recommend the next two!

[@user-vz4iu7oq6t]

Yes. And as someone who was also destroyed by Babel I hope she finishes the series as a way to heal🥲

[@miriam8376]

Yeah, all of Naomi Novik’s work is fantastic. She’s so underrated as a fantasy writer.

[@rachelzimmermann8249]

Yesss! The first one takes a little long to finish just to learn the world but the whole series is good!

[@e.brewin9038]

Me three on these! I love the blend of lighthearted and scathing commentary on society. El Stan!

[@e.brewin9038]

Oops, me five

[@artbyhollybee4072]

I really appreciated the rant/vulnerable moment about productivity culture and post- academia,"if you accomplish task you are valuable and worthy" mindset. I struggle with that all the time, and I constantly have to try and be more gentle with myself. It was really validating to hear you talk about it ❤

[@soymikleo]

Dude the way I devoured any book tagged ‘dark academia’ in my tbr is insane considering the fact it was at the expense of getting through my actual school work😭😭 ur so real

[@SilverJRivera]

Okay Lexi my hold for If We Were Villains at the library FINALLY got to my turn and I came back here to remember what your thoughts were AFTER I read it. You are correct. The Shakespeare quotes were phenomenally chosen and added so much depth to the story. I give it 5 stars bc of it, but if you aren't familiar w the material, you are missing out on a lot of the nuance and symbolism and all that jazz. For the readers without the background, giving the SparkNotes or wikipedia page a skim would add greatly to the story, even just the character descriptions, bc it adds to the suspense of the tragedy (we know what's going to happen, just WHEN) bc the layer of type casting adds SO MUCH to the characters' motivations and thought processes. Since I read it on Libby, I had access to a dictionary in app that was so useful. It also had a Google redirect option if the definition wasn't enough. Amazing book, I think it's going on my favorites list

[@MrUnderhillVT]

3 Stars for The Secret History breaks my heart a little bit, BUT I absolutely understand & respect it 🙏✨

[@HelovesyouRach123]

You are such a wonderful person, the world is brighter with you in it 😊 I also appropriate you being open about your mental health and thereby destigmatizing it. I'm enjoying you and your content so much, we are lucky to have to you here on KZbin ❤

[@McSherrie]

Being a fellow gifted and also currently reading Babel, I so feel all of the feels you are describing in the second half of this video. Thank you for verbalizing it for me!

[@spicyranch03]

THANK YOU for talking about academic pressures! I relate to you so much about the essay story, it’s a struggle to find the balance. You’re absolutely killing it💗

[@scarletlightning64]

thank you for being so open about your struggles in this video, while i know my issues are shared by others i often get in my head about how i feel and i feel like no one else around me shares an understanding of my difficulties. you being open about the differences in your days and how you handle them and how thats okay, and the societal pressures that inform all of that, makes me feel relieved and less alone (and also helps me understand how to apply some of the things my therapist has said better). i often have trouble seeing past my present and really get stuck in those days i cant perform and forget that maybe the next day will be better and seeing you do these daily bits in your video reminds me of that. i hope ive gotten across how important i think your work is even if some days you think it might be silly, and i hope you are having a genuinely good and peaceful day. may you always have the energy to push through your rougher times and may your good days always be as bright as the sun.

[@Labinzel]

The way I instantly subscribed after hearing the rant on academic validation- I'm currently in my second year of collage so seeing your perspective on society and internal neuroticisms at a slightly further point in life is incredibly insightful and comforting that I could achieve that level of awareness and effortful life change💜

[@makenziharden1519]

I really love how real and open Lexi is in her videos. Like they just hit the soul right and I very much enjoyed her honesty and opinions. They make her vids so much betterrrrrrr (loki now I'm scared to read Babel 😭)

[@ArielReads_]

your discussion on academic validation was soooo helpful, overworking myself and feeling guilty over not studying/reading 24/7 is something I struggle with a lot so it's nice to see a booktuber talk about this

[@cz5981]

taking this as my sign to finally read babel thank you for talking about academic validation and having bad days etc you make me feel validated and seen

[@briannadankert1571]

Thank you for being real with your mental health and reading experiences! I always look forward to your videos 🥰

[@ivanainthecity]

I also struggled with finding validation through something other than grades after I finished school! It’s refreshing to hear you talk about it! Loved this vid❤

[@rosierosereads]

I loved this video but even more I loved your honest discussion about mental health which is so needed. I’m right there with you and appreciate you and your content!

[@craftyreads]

EXCUSE ME... once chapter is 100 PAGES?? My motivation to ever read the secret history has officially been thrown out the window. Love this video tho :)

[@newlynova]

the entire book is either 8 or 9 chapters (600 pages btw)

[@craftyreads]

@@newlynova As a person who thrives on short chapters I simply cannot with this book 😭

[@Felarof245]

But it has a lot of minor chapters in between, like when the scene changes, when a new day starts, etc. There are a lot of breaks in between where you can stop without feeling bad or feeling like interrupting something. :)

[@zahrasameer5143]

I love love love this video and your rant on the school system and the anxiety that drives some of the things you do ,when you said that we have to be kinder to ourselves, i needed that tysm, sending much love , the fit is perfect, everything from the collared shirt and the necklace that goes so well with it! Ay keep going😌❤️

[@Desi_Rae]

You are so down to earth🦋I feel the authenticity thru the screen and I find you so charming and funny🫵🏻

[@morrimathews8625]

I’ve been in a reading slump for most of the year and your emotion and seeing how the books affect you is influencing me to get back into it so thanks!!

[@-__--__-]

i have watched 2-3 videos from the channel and i think i love you. like you are so real and honest about everything you read. i really love it. you are my new favourite yt booktuber.

[@samies_corner]

I havent readany of these or anyother dark acadamia i just like your videos but thank you so much fr talking about your mental health because its so important to break the stigma youre amazing and i hope you know you are SO much more than reading books and making videos ❤

[@mamoru1836]

you are so eloquent and articulate! definitely picking up Babel next thank you 🖤🖤

[@BrennaBochenek]

As a reader and a young woman struggling with her place in the world and with the future, your videos are a haven for me. I love your authentic depictions of your thought processes and how mental health plays such a role in the ability the enjoy the things that give us joy. I wish we could be best friends 😭💙

[@RustBrand777]

Underrated vid. Love the speed of your speech and of course it’s just a well made video.

[@relitin]

(SPOILERS for If We Were Villains) I thought it was pretty nicely and subtly implied in the very first chapter of If We Were Villains who was gonna end up dead and who was gonna be the killer. Literally in the first chapter the characters are discussing Julius Caesar and how Richard is gonna play Caesar and James will play Brutus and and from that I thought this must be some masterful foreshadowing, which it was! In that same conversation Richard even says to James “Et tu, Brute?” which is like the most famous quote ever (or maybe I’m just weird and so are my friends). So I thought it was obvious that James was gonna be the killer and Richard was gonna end up dead, but how Oliver was gonna take the fall was the mystery. But maybe that’s just me. I’ve never read any Shakespeare (or maybe just some excerpt in my English class) but the story of Julius Caesar is so familiar from history that I don’t think one needs to know Shakespeare to get the reference

[@andwhatifI...]

See, the foreshadowing is what is my problem, it should be more subtle imo. Because almost from the start I knew who was going to die and who was going to kill and I didn't like that it was so obvious. It was nicely done when you could pick up on Oliver's feelings towards James so early on but on the other hand because of that I figured another thing which was Oliver taking the fall for James. Thorough the book I so desperately wanted to be wrong because I didn't want everything to be so simple but when it turned out I was right I was greatly disappointed. The only thing that surprised me was how they agreed to let him die as a group. But even that in the end was a bit off because they didn't really have such strong reasons for this decision to make sense. Like yeah, I get that he was abusive but they had only a couple of months left of school and they wound never see him again. So giving the death sentence was too extreme and because of that I was convinced that there has to be something more to it but I was yet again disappointed to find out that there wasn't.

[@LeelaAmanda15]

Was feeling shit and wanted a fun video to watch to unwind. So perfect timing cause a Lexi video is just what I needed to distract myself as a fellow 23 teenage girl

[@CDN_Bookmouse]

My dude your brain isn't broken, you just ran out of spoons. It happens to everyone, even those who have no idea what spoons are.

[@abiade9614]

…. What are spoons…?

[@Green-sp4il]

@@abiade9614 spoon theory was originally a metaphor by someone with an autoimmune disease i think but it applies to a lot of different things like mental health as well, it essentially means the amount of physical or mental energy a person has for daily tasks expressed with the term "spoons".

[@4BigJewlz76]

I respect how raw and real you were were throughout this whole video. ❤

[@AnnaMcMahona]

This video was so incredibly validating. Watching and hearing you talk about your bad mental health days was like looking in a mirror. I appreciate your bravery for including it :)))))

[@tomie1308]

Watching your babel reaction reminded me of all the stages of grief I went through and the pain came back in waves omg tell me why I also started bawling my eyes out with you😭

[@amberrousse7280]

You have started to realize things about life at your age that took me until my thirties to understand. Keep going on your journey and I believe in you ❤

[@hannahnolte1963]

I just recently stumbled over your channel and I loooove this video. Not only for you sharing exactly my opinion on The Secret History but also for opening up on mental health struggles. Thank you for this! It is kinda reassuring that I am not alone with my feelings and habits and just being overwhelmed sometimes.

[@spines.and.needles]

If We Were Villains made little sense to me as someone who only read three of Shakespeare's works in high school. The play portions were even more confusing given I listened to the audiobook. Also, appreciate your honesty about severing your worth from your academic outputs. It's something I still battle in the working world as a former teacher's pet. I wish I would have started detaching from when I left academia rather than waiting until my mid-30s. Recognizing it early is a testament to your self awareness 🥰

[@sydneyholifield2987]

The tangent you went on toward the end was great!! Really felt seen ya know!! :)

[@TheAbudding]

I just finished grad school and have begun the demoralizing process of finding a full-time job in my field and I’m grappling daily with the fact that SO MUCH of my sense of self comes from my productivity or working contribution to the world. It’s a challenge to deconstruct that viewpoint internally when externally, like you said, things do in fact rely on those factors to a certain degree. Anyway, just wanted to share that I’m right there with you. Loved the video and I really want to hear your thoughts on the whole Scholomance series now!

[@auroracarminati578]

37:26 I really appreciate the honesty and rawness you share in these moments in your videos because you always end up saying things that I relate to. Not only do I feel so seen and heard but at times it serves as a really nice reminder that my value isn’t derived from productivity or societal measurements.

[@yohotek4540]

As always blessed by your videos it’s been the soundtrack of my life lately

[@impibibi403]

Your secret history review aligned so deeply with my experience of it that I had to subscribe. I now trust your taste implicitly. WHENEVER I TELL PEOPLE IT WAS A 2-3 STAR READ for me despite being phenomenally written, I always get backlash and censure! omg!

[@raer7907]

I’ve shared this with several friends and the part in babel where you breaking down made us realize you are one of our ppl!

[@pikadegallo_]

you're outfits were so good this video!! very good vibes

[@ThatNerdyMystic]

This is such a great video. I love it. I love how you express your thoughts and feelings. Thank you for the recommendations!

[@chiwithin]

really appreciated that little mental health check segment. sometimes it's so hard to convince yourself that you're enough and you're doing enough on those busy or just dreary days when all hope just seems lost. adore your videos and the way you discuss books. as a writer, it makes me write better and as a reader, i get excited to pick up a new book. thank you, lexi!

[@eddyrollyroll]

I just cried watching you cry over the ending of Babel. I will never stop recommending that book.

[@gnomerical]

I listened to the audiobook of Babel and finished it on the way to work one morning. I had to cry in the parking lot of my WORKPLACE. It was fine. Collectively re-experiencing that ending with you in this video has partially healed me of that particular trauma, so thank you. I hope you are doing and feeling better lately. I know the struggle of reckoning with equating personal value with productivity/task performance and it's a difficult (if not impossible) thing to unlearn. But we're out here trying every day.

[@kindlelight]

I just found your videos for the first time and I'm now on a binge watch. Love your content!

[@hannahrichardson1231]

thank you for talking fast enough that i didnt have to speed the video up to 2x like i normally do. it was really nice. and you def got me interested in some of the other dark academia books. i DEVOURED a deadly education and have been really wanting to get into that genre more.

[@structureoflight]

I love u pinegrove pullover girl I love that you included your little mental health interlude and it felt very validating to Me (someone who had the whole day off but was struggling too much to enjoy my hobby or my library books)

[@clairvoyantpegasus]

was just going to quietly watch and savor this video, but that lil brief academic validation-related breakdown made me tear up :") thank you truly

[@verity9174]

I had similar thoughts on secret history it was good but I had to stare at the wall after. Your reaction to babel makes me so excited to read it! I love your videos and they really tickle a part of my brain when u speak and share your thoughts!!

[@millemole]

I’ve only read Babel out of this list but I highly recommend the audio book to anyone to get the most out of the foreign language elements

[@alanardominim]

i legit dual wielded the book and the audiobook for the entire length. And i don't mean switching between them, i was doing both at the same time, the audiobook was so good

[@kazehaya2849]

@@alanardominim where did you find the audiobook

[@alanardominim]

@@kazehaya2849 I use the Mobilism forum. You make an account but you can find a lot of books/audiobooks to download

[@lovetheory]

I use everand

[@monejade8589]

I have majority of these books on my tbr. I really loved your breakdown of Babel ✨

[@devinrachael8908]

I’m so glad you created this channel. I was introduced to you through KZbin and you’ve quickly become my favorite book reviewer :)

[@newlynova]

[@lpchambers3681]

Oh I LOOVE A Deadly Education, and it’s sequels,-the world scratched my brain sooo well!!

[@judemm1729]

I keep coming back to this video because so much of what you say about tying your self-worth to your reading output resonates with me, and I can’t believe how articulate you are while you’re going through it. Reading is literally my job and my only hobby, and, because everyone who knows me knows that I read a lot, I feel genuinely crippling guilt if e.g. I fall behind on my Goodreads Challenge, even though no one but me can see it and this is supposed to be a fun hobby. So, I love your content and hearing you talk about books, but also thank you for trying to take care of yourself and addressing the fact that doing what you love isn’t always fun or easy when it’s so loaded with other people’s expectations.

[@newlynova]

[@abiade9614]

This was such a good reading vlog only because of how relatable it was an how much I enjoyed listening to your thoughts on the book... my TBR list is getting longer. 😭

[@madelinebull4788]

I cant explain how much i loved this and just all videos honestly

[@AkaHeiwa]

"You are not lazy because you are having a bad day"

[@yam288]

i’ve been waiting for this since i saw your 5 star goodreads review for babel 👀 (it’s one of my fave books along with tomorrow x3 so i had to know your thoughts!)

[@rachelspears5226]

Babel was my favorite read of the year.. thought-provoking, emotional, beautifully written. I loved that you randomly broke out into Lana💜

[@nunyabiz1266]

Just finished Babel and I feel like you read my mind with that review. I was scared to read it because it is so long but I'm so glad I didn't let that stop me. I would have missed out on a fantastic story.

[@katelynnclough]

Loved the openness and vulnerability you shared. I had to come to the same conclusion with my trauma. Leaving a fight or flight situation to a safe haven doesn’t absolve your own mind and bodies reaction to everything you have just went through and lived your whole life. You are doing great at trying to give yourself grace! Also I am kicking my feet at the second book with you and I haven’t even read it! Added to my tbr!

[@Insomniacrylic]

I appreciate the gifted kid rant- hoping to get back into reading through booktok and your channel ❤❤

[@abbiedeacon8044]

I found this vlog so real and genuine and reaffirming. I don't really comment on videos at all but wanted to share how much I appreciated your vulnerability. It really spoke to me!

[@newlynova]